250 - Phantom of the Open (Reverse Dollop)
Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds examine Maurice Flitcroft, golfer extraordinaire.
Following script is auto-generated by Speech to Text Technology:
you are to the dollar this is the bi weekly American History podcast each week me David Anthony Reed story from American history to friend Garrett Reynolds who has no idea what the topic is going to be about yes but they do a little when the middle of this is the last verse dollars which is pose this mala but is now coming out is a blown up no oh well I will say a better name has emerged from a few people which is a reverse dollop is a policy I've seen that only gets better but it is a doll that if you if you take the word and turn it over and around its looks the same don't don't even want to think about what I just said I can't possibly know what that's called there's a word for it but that's what it is you can take it all up and turn you turn it over what the Utah what is happening just sayin' stop saying do the the night Gary Garrett ok someone to the the this is not going to come in to quite the queen of the Uptown all the way to ship the a bunch of religious virgins to mingle and do but pray Garrett has sought to quickly tag talk about Mac Weldon who are a maker of fine undergarments if I if I can say suffered for you for people like me like a gentleman it's better than what you have on trust trust I went in there I got I got the guy I order some special silver I was like Are these going to be silver colored like a rape situation now they're just they're just a special underwear and shirt that has an anti anti microbial of a situation that eliminates odor for years stinky parts near to knotty anyway and this company is great um I've I've always sort of got on the high and Evan were guy I don't I don't crumble in the dirt like a lot of people I go by I think that we should treat your special parts pretty special and so I was out but I've never used them for now I have and I got I got some socks I got to lay this out right now Obama Boxer brief gentleman ordinarily we get boxer briefs is not some new workout easily and there could be a pain the butt but these guys as Maxwell than John McCall Mac because we're we're close now but the boxer brief second workout persuaded knows too much information but you guys think about me on a bike wearing boxer briefs right now because arise closure ice pretty nice saying go there the other underwear socks shirts they got a long John's AME look I don't think they're technically called long Johns but they get the long underwear as they got the whole thing has it's it's it's a pretty sweet company and I'm happy I'm wearing in OB guys can all picture me in them because they look pretty great on me and the Look Good on you to go to Macworld the dot com yet twenty percent off using the promo code all up now twenty percent oh c'mon you guys to loosen and then the someone to bring up the friends of ours have a pretty great podcast we're on it last week dumb people town it's with the school are brothers who I've known whose work I've enjoyed for many I think they're absolutely hi Larry D is and then there with Daniel banker who is one of the best impressions guys out there but in this In this podcast Scott Carson so why bring it because is very similar to the Dollar Baby read a story from not the past like we do but from the present a new story whacking the store I believe usually from Florida I think that's the one when we were just on was Florida based and then know they do we do it's really fun a great time doing the podcast so what's his face and I just think you guys should check it out don't people town it's on feral audio which is also the makers of my fear of murder please go check it out we were just on episode nine it's a great it's a really fun podcast I think you like ours you will like dumb people to write him a kiss you you go now I'll be a HOT of March the seventeenth of March sixteenth I'll be doing this show called the Friday forty eight meltdown with my buddy Dave Holmes and then yet June twelfth I will be free from their homes yes I do improv with a boy it feels great since any agent of Dave's awesome yet rated I readied a visit I'm topology to one of the best stories over and walking room really find it no it's iffy if you find the Dave Holmes walk in the room was on about it's one of the best heres the story I've known him like I used to do like improv with him back in the day you not like in that light it's just it's it looks so miserable it's like it's like burning my head out David yes Dave Holmes terrific guy fantastic gentleman anyway I'll be doing that show and then yelling his agent of the Vinson even now are you ready to I'm going to Boston were or what when tour we are as plugged those will click renewal on his own and I look at the new Halloween just a Denver which was fantastic and we did saw Lake City which was also terrific even though it hasn't happened yet and I'm lying about it was great it was fantastic will be coming to New York to Boston to Milwaukee to Detroit to Chicago to Dallas to Houston to Austin and we will be in Reykjavik Iceland uh and and we're also going to do that stand up show Milwaukee on April twentieth on for twenty dollars haul in Milwaukee that Joe was off its back on maybe Indianapolis are it can work out I am also we can announce which we did on mine but Washington D C July fourteenth Philadelphia July fifty so Philly were comin' at you for that reason had some get you banned three weird history with weird people that would be YouTube and trees grace the twenty third of all you November twenty third nineteen twenty nine Umno feels good to know I don't like it was Perry OK Maurice Gerald flip Croft was born on November twenty third nineteen twenty nine Flint Croft K in registering with cotton as we said I can do I'm able to do anyway because many people are a great deal of the dollar he was born the mother olives and is half father Herbert a bus driver knows her father's whole father's heard all of her but not all of you up and they had more re split Croft Reese was a tiny baby was called Why re wire E U really dark and yourself of the lineup like this is kinda weird so weird seeing now so what are the tiny premature baby was just like no no just like a liar e how small a little and chip fella I don't know where did I see him described as an shaped and sized fellow is not an sized he's not ant Man is in the Forex you know Yeah I know he's a human boy ok is a human boy in every in every way I'm just trying to figure the story just picture a baby that wire is just picture little maybe you've seen them treats him he had five brothers and lived in a red brick house next to other red brick houses now it's England England which is all they are cunning long as he had long nose sunken eyes weird mouth and huge years now so or your describing an aunt I'm actually thinking maybe a nap more than up here in the back I think he is a damn fool and this is going to Yeah you're good at this thank you there was something different about Marie's you could call this yet well besides with IDs besides being an employee you call it a curious confidence he wanted to learn about everything he could and try whatever interested him he was an athletic kid but he was scrappy he would work again he's not an ant in his tiny frame he would still play cricket rugby cross country running and he was pretty good at and in his first rugby match he got knocked unconscious well it's because the little tiny guy that's throwing a gala got to a scrum gets little guy get so close just get shot out like a tree chipper yeah and when last he was full of energy so much so that his mother called him ha P Johnson because he was hopping around like a rabbit as a kid oh well I mean okay if that was a sport main thing for mom to say it's nice it is falling this time a new school at sixteen either went to college he worked at the shipyard and some pieces yeah that was at and he did not want to work in the shipyard he was in quantities too small too he was too smart he like poetry in writing and music he just wasn't shipyard material first of all there's a lot of poets down at the shipyard steel feel the breath out breath let's get back to work right side is right and so more poems so he had no real prospects he you know like when you're sixteen you either go to college he can go to college so despite his deepest woods despite his deepest wishes he ended up getting a job at the Vickers shipyard he works fifty hour six day work weeks he's sixty he took to it ok she was recognized for being a good worker he won the Best machinist award on my God that such an honor to honor I mean it's an honor and sixteen and then you do the thing like you do in any award ceremony we put the other people nominated in little boxes that they get disappointed when they don't wear them when the machinist aboard oh I think we should put this award because love you guys are good on was not only that I was not the best machinist all of the fellow Nova days old so unbelievable Machinists together we are the shade that makes the ship God of all thank God as well well I have not is possible I could machine couldn't yet know why the or go build a base machine table last wee wee is the big ATV tiny even add they hated the noise as the Monday nature even just began smoking why it's the Monday nature Monday said Monday the Monday well you know it kind is it's kind like it a case of the Mondays all the days will do a k a state smoking cigarettes just because he was so bored with you know he's not going to get bigger I get that I get that because you're bored as bored as we were there that's why I gasp of wonder today in school I was walking around in downtown Denver yet the one knew and so you said yes no I own right now OK with The Dark Knight for yourself and yet after year he quit the shipyard anyone to live with his aunt for a while who she lived near the Belle View Gardens this is the love you've always loved that area that had a small zoo in and he liked to go watch the monkeys so Reese like them and write your twenties were back in the not as the profits you like them and all of your dolls or about Monday band I listen to my dream world especially the video last night those drunk monkeys II I can't say I can say like them and rolls them and rules are baboons their violent mammals multi colored memories one to make nice so he would watch the zookeeper who is feeding them and jewels prunes and one day the stupid zookeeper turned his back every snag a few prunes at the East is more receptive with you little devil yes are just enjoying this moment that felt real hair a little Rascal lols sorry this fuckin stupid window ok so the city still a few prunes anyone make friends with the man Jules sure so he holds out the spoon in his hands manager comes over me while he eats his hand up and violently snatched out of his hand almost broke his arm with that strength write summaries wasn't hurt he was pissed he was the term quote determined to teach the fierce creature a lesson and give it a taste of its own medicine threats is going to kill this fuckin monkey in the monkeys are done I stole more prunes the next day when the zookeeper turned his back again I guess if you really should Klaus I look over this card stupid Judy Collins who is their right to know I should be but it is that it should be in a while I more ought we not in any way to measure the hold is an outright breeze but the prison holds and a command role comes over and he goes to snatch it but Marie's drops approved before he does grab them and rule by its arm with both of his hands and a mantle starts freaking out and screaming Reese then fried them in Marie's then let go of one of his hands and smacked him on the other so the Bible is like puzzled as all puzzled gosh sir and he just runs off into the hell does a crazy person lazy person so the next Avery's return dislikes imprisoned shit Marines returned the next day more steel more pros from this foolish the focus to do a what do we do is it what do ido a local police guy again my new cat tree case law it's an animal zoo um so he holds out and the manager comes over and like gently takes it out of his hand memories is like say and what we learn from this day is that this man dealt with no differently he eventually needed money so he moved back home and he didn't want to work in the shipyard again he wouldn't do it couldn't do it so he joined the Navy sure but when they know that that's kind of similar smart is very similar with outfits yet worse but at that time so he's there and he's in Gibraltar but he misses the departure time so they leave so she then worked as a firefighter know they did that I guess they just touch them so you so if you're in the Navy senior don't get your boat in time then they go they go they they did some of that is that the technical term yet I still regret ok you are to the firefighter on a boat where he was fired for fighting someone over a bag of chips sure but that that's that's very common on fire boats is he in Gibraltar still not in a different job so he comes home because um and then he gets into a chip by chip fight and hope he kills this guy's Guy died from ship from a chip sure he was Israeli he worked as a shunt or know of that is me the words on the railroads it literally is a very said he shot another railroad shut and I think he's a singer this picture saying it's a saying on the road he worked in factories machine man he drove trucks for company sold shoe polish door to door he worked in a diving show for the summers where he was being knocked off the diving boards with a plank of wood by some other guys as the comic relief tcher even had a good run in London for a bit and he met his brother's wife's sister Jean who he fell madly in love with and married on March twenty third nineteen sixty three so this guy just went to like forty jobs and then got married and he like used a fire because he's a shit head because he just like he just honestly like he doesn't like it when people say no to or like a shot but he's smart he's like he was smart but also not not great no no it's a certain sort of a certain sort of smart like it like it Vick is smart it don't even think it's that the life I think that will unfold before a state that we go back to that monkey monkey monkey is gone so is the diving show the duties or diving to the front of thousands of people and he would just get hit in the head with boards and fall of the fire for Matt because he it was like the people who are in the diving shows also had to put the diving shows together so you have to like put the tank together on yet so he like got no argument over where some screws were rusted screws or Jenny just like the star the show just like him that the two of them just beat the shit out of each other in the fire by how Julie find out well because it was going on cell whole nobody got into a fist fight at diving other stuffy company diving shows a lot of crazy shit but yes but I figured I could just sort of you know I could say like that this is a job interview right I I have for the nuptials Jim was pregnant with twin boys say that he likes to fuck what has the twin boys yeah I mean that's just the one that's one that's a good double thrust looking for hardcore sex situation to finish and then Mona finishing a game that's how works we go have twins so the boys were named Jean van flipped Croft and James Harlequin flip Croft I just want them to suffer heehee yet not not good days so that it is very says now is seriously needed work again he's hired as a bus driver but he's fired really quickly because as soon as he was hired as supervisor piece together where you knew him from and we knew from his years before when Marie's open hand slapped him on a bus that he was dragging because they used to work like tandem seat like one guy driving one guy check tickets and this guys checking the tickets and somebody smoking and this girl is getting sick from the smoke so mores opens a window which he was allowed to do and this bus driver comes up to him tells him no and Marie's open hand slaps em Grande this guy just pieced it together so he fired immediately that's a good movie though where you you have a guy that you've hired and then you keep going on this gadget is like I am and then awhile later you like to slap no no I don't slap of hands later beers beers beers warming up on of hands how he joined in the bus to get flirty the way of this when I open and slap the law about Daddy's you Nana gets use to people yell shenanigans when they're doing yes yes absolutely they do cartoons about it on so you're in you or he just got up and says that he's taking advantage of not having to read the stories as Gaga take a bath did shouted Hii every job on his resume and determination which isn't easy for him to get a job you know he can always get a job with Mommy you're my mommy maybe but you said Mommy Mommy a pat on the answer to my question at all we say we're going to get a job and the mommy to move the work right at Red Hat so he goes back to the shipyard like the shipyard just takes anybody that's how it's not a job well also like the shipyard work to like like military stuffs I think you know there's there's another building military stuff all the time so I think they just had a lot of job openings plus his dad his brother worked as a family were there but he gets a job as a crane operator of this cannot go well he's going to kill some in the fall of seventy four recent gene are providing well for their family because she actually got hired at the shipyard to as a secretary on Reese's actually taking well to the crane he set up an easel in their way he would sketch fellow workers one Sunday Marie Swan a long walk and he had a revelation that he wanted to rock climb is a new hobby but it's how does that happen but he was walking he saw like Roxy is a club I think he's crazy he's crazy he's definitely crazy but they would have other plans because David Murray's came home he put on the new color TV and he saw something he'd never really watched before golf oh shit the nineteen seventy four Piccadilly World Match Play Championship was on and that's a great one huge of a huge event every swatch to all really love the game he liked to each player got their moment with a smile but he also took notice of how easy golf scene look he wanted has hit the ball in the home builders would work itself that would be foolish to not be a Gopher how could I know it seems that the road is Ooi I'm gonna be a dull feeling really good two weeks is Wilson Avenger catalog clubs and balls arrived in Greece immediately got to work with his new toys he was flipping over some coffee cups that he treated like holes in the living room soon enough he went to the beach to practice but the Gale force winds would carry the balls way off course I would be appealed the play Annie was in love with the game and the family got a dog named Bo memories to take with it so Bo wasn't the best cat when Marie's would hit the ball Bo wouldn't respect the rules of the game and would run and grab the ball out of midair thinking that was the game he's fun he's a dog is a fun also has a ball stayed in there he's not too long how the fuck is a dog catching a golf ball well it's like you get right to fire catching a bouncer says he's not letting go does any teeth after all this on the stove does have teeth yes it seems like you wouldn't know his teeth ready yet certainly not say how many couples we think he swallowed probably numbered golf balls yeah yeah the wife a veces pero si Dianne Scott we've got a magic oh good lord he's making the eggs which room did all the booze go just the description said Father I don't think I'd remember that one yes we so eager for the ball to receiver bring a club to work as at the train and stand on top of the train go home practicing his swing when there was no work to do has he's exiting the stadium off the crane falls off the ground I feel like this is before the government regulations the doubt before the Lord knows that bed so we also devoured books on golf or go to library is reading he discovered the British Open Colby is right now he's like forties right now he's like he's battled oh yeah yeah yeah yeah I should update you would like the seventies he would do it any Eastern read about the British Open British Open been around since eighteen sixty he read he loved the history of it he read all about the course isn't even absorb the information about the open being run by ex army majors who called themselves The Royal and Ancient Golf Club of St Andrews who might not come on so fucking pretty I like to show British from Britain to drugging take a break long may that British ish ish so these were meticulous man who prided themselves on getting the best golfers in the world to compete against one another it was more than just a job to them it was a duty to keep Mackenzie was an old school stuff the ex golfer who reinvented the open by classic it up when he was at the home he was the main guy Mackenzie wear a blazer was balding and love Jim and you know what he hated shenanigans summers is shenanigans that's right he was very by the book he lived by the laws of golf he hated the press one day side Japanese journalist taking pictures he said he was quote prancing about all the fairways getting into the ways of the players trying to photograph the players from five to six feet and doing things like that but telling this reporter to back off was not enough for Mackenzie Mackenzie knowing some of the Japanese cultures reaction to shame held a DRM banding ceremony outside the press the air he stripped the journalists and express our band with a dramatic yet alright everybody gather round yes what's going on to take this one from this little fella I'm sorry I didn't know the rule what you are my little Japanese man had just let all the devotees know but great shame to my family at the right may want to do them than I think in the gut sorry Harry Carey of the Harry Carey you are judging someone with your elbow you a nudge nudge the Kerry carries just a quick slice yanking for the wink wink nudge nudge not very Japanese so Reese is obsessed with the British Open and he felt that his game was at the point where has time to prove it sure the spicy actually players balls of cranes is just his regimen is basically what I described before he's practicing a few all the time he's had no real training he's been playing under a year he thought he could win the Open sure seems reasonable so he'd been going since the summer of seventy five and he wanted to enter the nineteen seventy six British Open British Open holds qualifying events were colorful golf golfers and Gophers will play around with two other players and the best scores advance to play in the actual British Open so anybody can get in no technically yup yup they want golfers so they're they're like about there like trying to evaluate the best of the best of the quality right so you you can bike but anybody can like start playing their way up to the Yes but you'd have to have proof that you're a legit call for Okay you that there's like six or certifications are which are good but you but yeah basically like they they're there this is a real vetting process for the Royal and Ancient guise of Saint Andrew the UK just can't pull up on your crane cantaloupe and Ukraine into the fence in the car as I The other day I wore the day that bit is the hero and a lot but just the baby the gods as they wait I say don't go as the summer seventy five he won a nineteen seventy six British Open British Open qualifying events like the same and some Reese wrote a letter to the Royal and hand each piece and he actually what he first did before you wrote them a letter was he wrote the guy who was the announcer for golf sure he wrote him a letter was like I want to enter the guy was like what was happening and then I like the media because like I should be getting letters of this nature is there a fake summer is related to the roiling age Gulf of the same age is requested an entry form which he was given but it is complicated the hardest part was the question that asked his playing status was a professional or was in damage well he knew he was an amateur but if he said he was an amateur he had to write what is handicap was on loan Greece have no clue what is actual golf numbers were because he'd never been on an actual course he needed a certificate of he said he was an amateur he had no certificate so he wrote professional which meant he didn't need to submit a certificate and that made life easy to get around he paid the entry fee and sent it all off so this is fine so there's no problems no probs because they are in a rubber stamp all the pros Maurice was in the excepted in the qualifying round of the British open tv it was the easiest loop all that ever find this is one of those moments where just nobody ever done it before I totally like it was it was when not if yet totally love him like those leases up is as good as it's complicated not liable for what they were like well the voters for the everday for a new riff raff possible because we did with the gentlemen's Ball is a British Open qualifier now believe it or not Marie's was a little worried that he wasn't as prepared as he needed to be oh really Yes he felt that he was good with his short game in those clubs he was OK with his medium irons but he wasn't good with his long irons as long shots and as the time went on he still wasn't confident when the Open was just four months away this is not good Maurice then started a stronger edge he would wake up at four am and sneak onto a closed golf course where he would grab two holes before the course open at night he would eat dinner and play in the dark after work on weekends he would play at the rugby club and this is what he did for four months leading up to it all while driving a crane operating across as how he can't win he's got a win
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