We Need to Talk About Crypto

On this week’s episode of We Need to Talk About Crypto, Mike and Sean try to talk about the word of the day - “white papers” - but are instead derailed by a visit from style icon Tony “The Fauxhawk” Dungelson, who announces his ill-timed plans to open a “Grooming Academy” to teach adults how to “groom children”. By this, Tony simply means etiquette and personal hygiene, so the boys try to help him re-brand his business. But things go south quickly, and one of Tony’s friends named Rufus storms into the studio to defend his mentor as the situation deteriorates.  Also featured: Croc Talk, Listener Mail, and a nod to Yam Queen!

This special episode of We Need to Talk About Crypto was recorded live at UCLA's Royce Hall, and is presented by the Carolina Yam Growers Association in collaboration with Ashley Price Industries. Sound a little different? That's because Sean and Mike are here to promote YAM COIN - Where Agriculture Meets Crypto! Yam Coin is an incredible new cryptocurrency that will revolutionize the face of produce and farming. Joining Sean and Mike to discuss this incredible economic breakthrough is Yam Queen, the world-famous cultural icon, diva, and lead singer of the Yam Jam Band from the 1980s "Carolina Yams" commercials! Your hosts interview Yam Queen, learn about her rise and fall, and even hear a special performance of her original hit song "Yam Queen".  But things take a turn when an unexpected guests joins everyone on stage - Dr. Sirloin, the Instagram doctor who claims that "yams are bullshit" and that "the human body can subsist exclusively on sirloin". Things get contentious, and soon Sean and Mike find themselves moderating a no-holds-barred debate between Dr. Sirloin and Yam Queen.  Tune into this episode and you will never look at yams, meat, or UCLA the same way ever again!

"Behind every great man is another man with his hands on the first man's hips, whispering ideas into his ear." - Sun Tzu Last week Sean and Mike pulled the plug on producer Tessa (literally), and this week they've moved into a luxurious new studio owned by Ashley Price, the businessman and entrepreneur known for making deals in public restrooms. Your favorite hosts celebrate their lifestyle upgrade, and introduce a few new segments like "Croc Talk", which is dedicated to the lifestyle of wearing Crocs.  The podcast also debuts a brand new theme song, and the boys are visited by The Crypto Keeper, who comes to welcome Tessa to the underworld as well as complain about a shocking "slap" that took place at the Helly awards down in Digital Hell.  All of this and so much more on this week's episode of "We Need to Talk About Crypto"!

Your favorite investment gurus are back in Los Angeles after winning the war in Ukraine, but there's been some big changes around the podcast. Producer Tessa has married a reclusive hentai enthusiast while the boys were away, and they're forced to confront him as their new dad and step-producer. During the conversation, the boys learn about a prophetic vision of the future called "The Teckus Trilogy", which involves shoeboxes, computer parts, and copious amounts of man-on-machine sexual activity.  Fortunately for Mike and Sean, the podcast's new owner Ashley Price is there to clean up the mess made by Tessa and her husband - but will this ultimately be what's best for the show?  Oh, and the word of the day is "crypto tourism". 

The boys are back on the road this week, but this time it's no Salt Lake City... it's the war torn nation of Ukraine! Sean and Mike have left America for the sweet siren call of cash being paid to foreign fighters in Ukraine's conflict with Russia, but the deal isn't as good as it seems. Although they received free guns and a cool set of pajamas, the fightin' life is not exactly for the rise n' grind boys you know and love - and they've deserted the cause. Thus, this week's episode was recorded in an international basement pub that is home to killers, spies, and army defectors.  Mike meets a European Pjornographer, and we're treated to a PSA for "He World", the nature preserve for castrated Alpha Males in San Diego. This week's word is "Rouble", and the dip of the week was "Garlic Spread". Join us for all this and so much more!

The boys are back in Los Angeles after living through a national tragedy in Salt Lake City where 35 people - including some of the country's most prominent alpha males - were killed in a trampling. Producer Tessa is in a pissy mood after being left out of the road trip, but she continues to show up and do her job like the professional that she is. The word of the day is "insolvency", because they boys have spent the last of their bitcoin and must find new sponsors to keep the show afloat. Finally, the dip of the day is balsamic vinegar and olive oil with gluten free bread.  Warning: this episode contains disturbing audio from the DJ Zack Stoufus show where the trampling occurred, and it may be inappropriate for some listeners. 

Welcome to Part 2 of the boys' trip to Alpha Con! On this riveting episode, your intrepid hosts crawl through sewage, meet an Alpha named Ashley Price, and get fashion advice from Tony “The Fauxhawk” Dungelson. This week’s dip is a mystery beverage called “daddy juice”, and the location is a literal toilet.

On this very special episode of We Need To Talk About Crypto, the boys head to Salt Lake City and record live from the Alpha Male Convention, a gathering of Alphas hosted by a mysterious figure named "The Bull Moose". Our podcast has its very own booth, so Sean and Mike were able to interview some of the convention's keynote speakers, including a man who rekindled his sex life at Koo Koo Roo, and a 350 lbs "Offensive Coach" who teaches his students to be rude 'n crude.  Stay tuned for next's weeks Part 2 of this very special event, featuring DJ Zack Stoufus, Tony "The Fauxhawk" Dungelson, and much, much more!

The final 101 lesson - NFTs - is upon us! Mike & Sean take us through the final hours of Mark Wahlberg's "rise n' grind" routine, discuss NFTs, and get deep on what investors need to know about this crazy new place to put your money! In a special edition of "Buy The Dip", they guys learn they ate a stranger's piss last week, and make a huge announcement: the podcast is going to Salt Lake City for the Alpha Male Convention! Oh, and Producer Tessa reveals which one of the boys Googled her naked... and take revenge. This is a banger of an episode, and you do NOT want to miss it! "Buy the Dip" Dip: Pub Cheese

On this exciting new episode, Sean and Mike teach you all about Ethereum, "the other bitcoin". They also take you deeper inside the millionaire mindset of Mark Wahlberg, the hustle game's #1 champion (and world's leading turkey killer!). Later in the show, the guys sample a delicious dip sent in by a listener in the "Buy the Dip" segment!  There's never been a better time to learn about crypto, and this is the podcast that will help you do it!

On this week's exciting new episode of "We Need to Talk About Crypto", Sean and Mike discuss how to adopt a "rise & grind" mentality that gets you out of bed and into the gym, as well as "Bitcoin", AKA the mother of all crypto. The guys take a moment to celebrate the success of a crypto fundraiser where high school kids paid money to savagely beat them with baseball bats, as well as proudly announce their ownership of one whole bitcoin. Also featured: Mark Wahlberg's turkey coop, The Men Who Stare at Coats, and a special appearance by the hellish demon known as "The Cryptokeeper". Oh, and clowns are back? Whatever that means. 

On this week's episode of "We Need To Talk About Crypto", Sean and Mike explore a complicated term you've probably never heard before: "wallet". What is a "wallet", and how does it work? Do you need one to become a billionaire? The boys discuss this and more, and disembodied robo-producer Tessa even introduces two brand new segments! Also covered: scream scrambles, Mark Wahlberg, fan mail, and, of course, Nude Elon Musk. 

Sean and Mike dive deeper into the mysterious and often confusing world of Crypto as they learn (and then teach) about "the blockchain". Also covered: rise and grind routines, Elon Musk nude, a feud with teenagers, a spooky visit from a demon named the "The Cryptokeeper", and a very delicious "Buy The Dip"!

The boys are BACK!!! It's been two long years since Sean and Mike laid down their microphones, but they're back for 2022, and this time they're here with a noble purpose: to help you get rich through investing in cryptocurrency! Sean and Mike don't actually know anything about crypto, but they are going to 1) learn its secrets in order to get fabulously wealthy, and 2) Teach them to YOU! Join the boys as they begin a whole new season of We Need To Talk, and join in as they grow into sophisticated crypto experts who will ENRICH your LIFE! All aboard the wealth train - choo choo! Elon Musk, Dogecoin, NFTs, Lamborghinis, Metaverses, Mega-yachts and, so much more... this is We Need To Talk About Crypto!

It's been two years since Sean and Mike finished Talking About Steven. But now they need to talk again - only this time, it's not about Stevens, Stephanies, or Stefanis. Gone are the days of profiling people with the same name, because that trick is old and you've heard it before. In the new Season 2 of "We Need to Talk...", the boys have a whole new topic to cover, and it's something that will change your life forever. How do the boys know? Because it's changed them, too.  Listen to this exciting new trailer to get a better idea of what Season 2 holds, and we'll see you on January 10th, 2022 for the first episode!

On this episode of the podcast, the boys are grievin' Stevens again, because they're discussing the late comedian Brody Stevens. Yet, as the boys are only tangentially aware of his career, the conversation soon veers off topic into suicide, power bottoming, bathroom measuring, boot straps, and shoe horns.

This week, the boys talk theater, babe - the musical kind. Steven Sondheim, the master of stage and song, is tangentially discussed. 

The boys discuss pork tenderloin, cowboy mustaches, Crocodile Dundee, life on the open range, David Berkowitz, paper cuts, hats, beans, and, of course Steven Soderbergh, one of the best directors of our time! 

The boys are here to discuss a man who has played some Stevens - Adam Sandler! In typical fashion, this episode is quickly sidetracked by discussions about Mike's famous cooking tips, Sean's vitamin doubts, the sad plight of movie Indians, and David Spade.

The boys have been hard at work, and now they have a sponsor! After making some sweet corporate cash, Mike and Sean move into talking about actor Steve Zahn. Also covered: a mini horse gets the D, Richard Gere's furry friend, Criss Angel, and the time Rod Stewart got his stomach pumped. Warning - this maybe the most vulgar episode yet, and that's really saying something.