Acceptable Madness

I love this podcast, and that's why I think it's time for me to take a step back for a little while. I just haven't been feeling up to making new episodes, and with everything going on in my life, I'm just exhausted all the time. I want to take some time to step back and get into a better headspace, and I think that one way for me to do that is by taking some responsibility off my plate, and considering the fact that this is my 124 episode, I've had this responsibility for quite some time. I'm not giving up on the podcast; in fact, I have a lot planned for the future, but for right now, I just really need a break so that I'm excited about all the plans I have when I have more time to do them. I appreciate each and every one of you for listening. I'll be back soon, but I don't know if soon is a few weeks or a few months. Thanks, and I'll talk to you later. --- I am not a doctor, so do not treat this as therapy or medical advice. I just do this podcast with the hopes that it can help some people. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube for more content. Also, check out my book, Trying Not to Kill Myself, on Amazon!

This week’s episode is going to be a relaxing one. Well, at least I hope so! I just sat back and talked about my life, what’s been going on, and how I’m coping with the everyday stresses of existing. I cover topics from school, to work, and even Halsey’s swollen butt. With range of topics like that, I’m sure it has something for everyone! I hope you enjoy! --- I am not a doctor, so do not treat this as therapy or medical advice. I just do this podcast with the hopes that it can help some people. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube for more content. Also, check out my book, Trying Not to Kill Myself, on Amazon!

Of course! I love animals and always have. When I was young, I grew up with two dogs and many three cats, and the second I went to college, I missed the unconditional love that they provided. After Alex and I graduated from college, we went on a mission to get pets. Two months after we both started new jobs, we brought home two wonderful pets: our dog Halsey and our cat Leia. It’s been a little over a year since we got them, and in this episode, I’d like to talk about how I feel my life has changed with them around. --- I am not a doctor, so do not treat this as therapy or medical advice. I just do this podcast with the hopes that it can help some people. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube for more content. Also, check out my book, Trying Not to Kill Myself, on Amazon!

Planning might be the most boring topic in the world, but it's still something that needs to be talked about. Planning is important in all walks of life, but I think that it's especially important when you struggle with mental illness. It helps you get a grasp on what is going on around you and put your life events into perspective, while also giving you some self-motivation to keep moving forward. That said, it can also seem like a bad thing when you don't feel the motivation to do what you've set out to do. That's what I talk about in this episode, and I hope you enjoy it! --- I am not a doctor, so do not treat this as therapy or medical advice. I just do this podcast with the hopes that it can help some people. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube for more content. Also, check out my book, Trying Not to Kill Myself, on Amazon!

Admittedly, I'm no master of chess, so I don't know if this is true. That said, I've spent a lot of my free time playing chess recently and trying to become better at it. What I find crazy is how many parallels I've found between the game of strategy and my mental health. Maybe it's because I have an unhealthy obsession of the game and think about it all the time or maybe it's because there are actually parallels. No matter the reason, that's what I'm going to talk about this episode. I hope you enjoy! :) --- I am not a doctor, so do not treat this as therapy or medical advice. I just do this podcast with the hopes that it can help some people. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube for more content. Also, check out my book, Trying Not to Kill Myself, on Amazon!

This is something that I think about every day, but I decided that it's finally time to make an episode about it. College is brutal. I don't care how smart you are, college is hard for a few reasons. I hated my undergrad because I didn't handle being away from home and having no friends well. It was also hard because I had nooooo clue what I wanted to do with my life. My masters is hard because it's a lot of work, but it's also more satisfying than my undergrad, even though I'm juggling this and a full-time job. My doctorate (which I haven't gone for) feels like an inevitability, and I honestly can't wait for it. So, how did I go from hating college to diving deeper? Well, I'm glad you asked! That's what this episode is about. I hope you like it. --- I am not a doctor, so do not treat this as therapy or medical advice. I just do this podcast with the hopes that it can help some people. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube for more content. Also, check out my book, Trying Not to Kill Myself, on Amazon!

What better time is there to talk about burnout than when you're burnt out? In this episode, I talk about the constant exhaustion I've been feeling that's been brought on by work, personal issues, school, raising two amazing little pets, and maintaining basic functional necessities like laundry and cooking. You know that feeling that comes around that makes you want to procrastinate everything you do while also giving you an unusual addiction to Tetris and Chess? Okay, the latter part might just be me. Nonetheless, this episode is about burnout. I hope you enjoy it. --- I am not a doctor, so do not treat this as therapy or medical advice. I just do this podcast with the hopes that it can help some people. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube for more content. Also, check out my book, Trying Not to Kill Myself, on Amazon!

This week, I'm covering a topic that I think is one of the most important that I've talked about recently. Saying no and setting boundaries for yourself is one of the best ways that I've discovered to cope with the state of my mental health. Whether you're saying no to working late on a Friday, having a game night with friends, or even answering the phone when someone is calling, it's okay to say no and not handle it in that moment if you don't feel like you're in the best state to do so. In this episode, I talk about why saying no is so important, and how mastering the delicate technique of setting boundaries can lead to a much happier lifestyle. --- I am not a doctor, so do not treat this as therapy or medical advice. I just do this podcast with the hopes that it can help some people. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube for more content. Also, check out my book, Trying Not to Kill Myself, on Amazon!

This is a topic that, if you're anything like me, is a hard one to grasp. It's really easy to think that you’re not worth as much as you actually are or to think you’re worth nothing at all. Whether you suffer from a bad case of imposter syndrome, you believe that you aren't contributing to society in a meaningful way, or you aren't doing a great job where you work, I bet you're doing better than you think. In this episode, I talk about my struggle to see my worth in the world, and how I'm making meaningful change to pursue it. --- I am not a doctor, so do not treat this as therapy or medical advice. I just do this podcast with the hopes that it can help some people. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube for more content. Also, check out my book, Trying Not to Kill Myself, on Amazon!

Knowing that your mental illness doesn’t define you isn’t a novel concept. Each and every one of us is a unique and special person, but some of us struggle with mental illness. Even though sometimes our lives are dictated by what's going on in our heads, such as a lack of motivation to do something in our everyday lives and an inability to get out of bed, we're more than the thoughts that go through our heads. I think this is an important concept for anyone to know, but those that don't struggle with mental health won't get it until those that are struggling with it internalize it themselves. That's why in this episode, I talk about how I'm so much more than my mental illness. --- I am not a doctor, so do not treat this as therapy or medical advice. I just do this podcast with the hopes that it can help some people. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube for more content. Also, check out my book, Trying Not to Kill Myself, on Amazon!

This episode is about stress. Stress is a normal part of everyday life and learning to cope with it is an essential skill that everyone needs to learn. That said, it's still a piece of crap. You couple stress with mental illness, and it can feel like a ticking time bomb. From feelings of anger and exhaustion, to just a general defeated state that lingers for longer than anyone would like, it's time to talk about how I try (and sometimes fail) to deal with my stress. Did I mention that this episode is about stress? --- I am not a doctor, so do not treat this as therapy or medical advice. I just do this podcast with the hopes that it can help some people. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube for more content. Also, check out my book, Trying Not to Kill Myself, on Amazon!

So, this probably isn't the question you expected me to ask, but it's one that I asked myself recently. After weeks of low motivation, irritability, and difficulty finding happiness in the things that used to keep me moving forward, it occurred to me that... I'M DEPRESSED. It's something that I'm clearly aware of, but sometimes I just forget, and I end up giving myself a hard time for struggling to be happy and finding my motivation. In this episode, I'm going to talk about that "sudden realization," if you can call it that, and how hopefully that'll make it easier for me to work through this depressive episode. --- I am not a doctor, so do not treat this as therapy or medical advice. I just do this podcast with the hopes that it can help some people. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube for more content. Also, check out my book, Trying Not to Kill Myself, on Amazon!

I know that it was in eighth grade that my depression really started. Before that, I was a happy-go-lucky kid who thought he was happy and great all the time. I still remember being that kid who, any time he could, he would run around hoping that one day he'd "lose enough weight to fly." That kid still exists, and I'm constantly searching for more and more of the missing pieces of him that have buried themselves deep within me, but he'll never come back completely. In this episode, I'll tell you what specific event made me realize he was gone. --- I am not a doctor, so do not treat this as therapy or medical advice. I just do this podcast with the hopes that it can help some people. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube for more content. Also, check out my book, Trying Not to Kill Myself, on Amazon!

When something negative affects your life, there is no straightforward way to cope with it. No matter how you cope with the situation, it's difficult because the situation itself is difficult, too. What I've learned about myself over the recent weeks is that I have a tendency to escape from reality when something unfortunate happens in my life. I do it through a variety of ways, such as YouTube, TV, video games, and endless social media usage, but that leaves an unanswered question: does escaping from reality help cope with a difficult situation? --- I am not a doctor, so do not treat this as therapy or medical advice. I just do this podcast with the hopes that it can help some people. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube for more content. Also, check out my book, Trying Not to Kill Myself, on Amazon!

I have recently been affected by something very close to me, and as I cope with the challenge of it, I've witnessed the many different ways that those around me have responded to the news. This episode is about the responses that those close to me, including myself, have had. From food and compassion, to stoicism and crying, sadness takes many faces, and each has its own feeling, story, and love behind it. --- I am not a doctor, so do not treat this as therapy or medical advice. I just do this podcast with the hopes that it can help some people. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube for more content. Also, check out my book, Trying Not to Kill Myself, on Amazon!

Getting in touch with your emotions is hard work. Do you want to know how I know that? Well, this is the 109th episode of this podcast and I still suck at it. I may be beginning to understand why I do some of the things that I do, but that doesn't mean I can always practice what I preach at the level that I wish I could. Saying how you feel is one of the most difficult things you can do. It takes empathy, vulnerability, honesty with yourself and those that you're being honest to, and it takes swallowing your pride. Worse yet, is sometimes it takes admitting you were wrong, and that always sucks. In this episode, I talk about the constant battle that I fight with myself to be honest and sincere with those around me. --- I am not a doctor, so do not treat this as therapy or medical advice. I just do this podcast with the hopes that it can help some people. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube for more content. Also, check out my book, Trying Not to Kill Myself, on Amazon!

I'll never claim to be a perfect person. It's just not possible to be perfect, and I don't strive for it. What I can say is that over the course of my life, I've become a significantly happier and confident depressed person with a lot more hope for the future, but that hasn't always been the case. I'm currently engaged to the love of my life, but I've had a few failed relationships before I got here, and in this episode, I swallow my pride and dive into how I contributed to their downfall because of my mental illness. --- I am not a doctor, so do not treat this as therapy or medical advice. I just do this podcast with the hopes that it can help some people. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube for more content. Also, check out my book, Trying Not to Kill Myself, on Amazon!

For me, depression is that creeping feeling that makes me want to give up all hope. It tells me that I'm terrible, that I'm bad at everything, and that nobody will ever truly love me because I am imperfect and unpleasant. It even tells me that I'd be better off dead than seeing tomorrow. Depression makes me feel unwanted, but it also feels unique - almost like I’m the only person in the world who suffers from it. I know I’m not, but the question I have is: is my depression unique to me, or is it the same depression that everyone else feels? --- I am not a doctor, so do not treat this as therapy or medical advice. I just do this podcast with the hopes that it can help some people. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube for more content. Also, check out my book, Trying Not to Kill Myself, on Amazon!

I could tell you what everyone else in the world is telling you about the holidays. I could say that going to see your family is terrible because we are in the midst of a pandemic, and that it's irresponsible to put you and your family in danger. I could also say that you should go see your family because you only live once and seeing them is more important than following the precautions assigned to you because of a pandemic. There are many things that I could tell you, but what I'm going to settle for is telling you how these decisions can affect your mental health, because I know they've affected mine. --- I am not a doctor, so do not treat this as therapy or medical advice. I just do this podcast with the hopes that it can help some people. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube for more content. Also, check out my book, Trying Not to Kill Myself, on Amazon!

I've talked about routine before, and I always talk about how great it is. Having some sense of what you're going to do can be really good for mental health, whether it's from having a good sleep schedule, working out, or taking time out of your week to think about you. I promise that I'll talk about routine in the future, too! But you know what screwed up routine and all it stood for? COVID-19. I know, I'm just as surprised as you that COVID ruined something else. Now, staying home when possible, wearing your mask, and using social distancing is incredibly important for both you and everyone else's physical health, but when does the routine of "staying home" become a problem? That's what I'm here to talk about this week. Thanks for listening. --- I am not a doctor, so do not treat this as therapy or medical advice. I just do this podcast with the hopes that it can help some people. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube for more content. Also, check out my book, Trying Not to Kill Myself, on Amazon!