Ownit! Powercast

Welcome to episode 251 where we look for the safe people – and how to recognize them! In this episode we explore the essential role of healthy boundaries and self-awareness in fostering trust and safety within relationships. We discuss how individuals with healthy boundaries maintain a sense of separateness while still fostering connection, emphasizing the importance of understanding these traits for building fulfilling and supportive relationships. Through clear communication, respect for autonomy, and emotional regulation, the safe people can strike a balance between independence and connection, creating an environment of mutual trust, respect, and emotional safety. Key Takeaways: 1.    Clear Communication: Healthy boundaries are established through open and assertive communication. Individuals should feel empowered to express their needs, preferences, and limits in order to foster mutual understanding and respect within relationships. 2.    Respect for Autonomy: It's essential to respect the autonomy and independence of both oneself and others. Recognizing that each person is responsible for their own thoughts, feelings, and actions helps maintain a healthy balance between individuality and connection. 3.    Emotional Regulation: Mastering emotional regulation is key to maintaining a sense of separateness while fostering connection. Individuals with healthy boundaries can manage their emotions independently, without relying on others to meet their emotional needs, thereby fostering a sense of emotional independence within relationships.     If you want to find a safe person, make sure they communicate openly, with good boundaries… and can let you be who and where you are.   Get your FREE Boundaries Ebook here! If you're ready to find your voice, set healthy boundaries, and create more fulfilling relationships, this guide is your roadmap!   Need more?  Check out the Masterclass on Reclaiming Your Voice:   https://www.findyourvoicecourse.com/beyond-words     Hey! My signature course is live!  I am so excited to also offer a free upgrade to the group coaching program.  Be sure to click here to check it out: https://findyourvoicecourse.com/   Need coaching? Just contact me here to set up a free consult! mbaker@soarwithmarybaker.com   Resources: Join the private Facebook group! It’s a great group of people working on themselves…and supporting each other.  https://www.facebook.com/groups/1212485642262143     Make sure you sign up for the bonus downloads at www.ownitpowercast.com.  Tribe members will receive them in their email each week. Thank you for tuning in to this podcast. Please remember to leave a positive review on your podcast platform and let us know how this episode has been helpful. Also don’t forget to subscribe to this podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play or Spotify so you don’t miss a thing!

Welcome to episode 250 where we look at the behaviors that put “eggshells on the floor” in our relationships.   In this episode, we talk about the intricate dynamics of relationships impacted by "eggshell creators" – individuals whose behaviors consistently force others to tiptoe around them to avoid conflict or upset. We explore the various manifestations of such behavior, where it comes from, and how these patterns can erode trust and emotional well-being in relationships. By shedding light on the role of these "troublemakers," we can gain insight into recognizing and navigating toxic dynamics, empowering them to establish boundaries and cultivate healthier connections.   Key Takeaways:   Recognize the Signs: Pay attention to patterns of behavior in your relationships, such as feeling anxious or constantly on edge around certain individuals. Recognizing the signs of "eggshell creators" can empower you to address toxic dynamics and prioritize your emotional well-being. Establish Boundaries: Set clear boundaries to protect yourself from the emotional toll of walking on eggshells. Asserting your needs and limits in relationships is crucial for maintaining your autonomy and fostering healthier interactions. Seek Support: Don't hesitate to seek support from trusted friends, family members, or professionals if you find yourself navigating challenging dynamics with "eggshell creators." Building a support network can provide validation, perspective, and guidance as you work towards creating healthier relationships.     Walking on eggshells isn't  just about avoiding conflict;  it's about sacrificing your own emotional authenticity  to maintain a fragile  sense of stability.   Get your FREE Boundaries Ebook here! If you're ready to find your voice, set healthy boundaries, and create more fulfilling relationships, this guide is your roadmap!   Need more?  Check out the Masterclass on Reclaiming Your Voice:   https://www.findyourvoicecourse.com/beyond-words     Hey! My signature course is live!  I am so excited to also offer a free upgrade to the group coaching program.  Be sure to click here to check it out: https://findyourvoicecourse.com/   Need coaching? Just contact me here to set up a free consult! mbaker@soarwithmarybaker.com   Resources: Join the private Facebook group! It’s a great group of people working on themselves…and supporting each other.  https://www.facebook.com/groups/1212485642262143     Make sure you sign up for the bonus downloads at www.ownitpowercast.com.  Tribe members will receive them in their email each week. Thank you for tuning in to this podcast. Please remember to leave a positive review on your podcast platform and let us know how this episode has been helpful. Also don’t forget to subscribe to this podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play or Spotify so you don’t miss a thing!

Welcome to episode 249 where we look at how interactions in childhood can create fear in our adult relationships. In this episode, we delve into the intricate ways childhood emotional survival strategies shape our adult relationships. From observing parental behavior to adapting to avoid conflict, these learned behaviors often lead us to walk on eggshells in our interactions. The "eggshells on the floor" phenomenon reflects the cautious, tiptoeing approach we adopt to prevent discomfort or conflict, often at the expense of authentic communication. Additionally, we explore how rescuing behaviors further enable avoidance, hindering genuine growth and understanding in relationships.   As we examine these patterns, a recurring theme emerges: the importance of allowing ourselves and others to "sit in the uncomfortable." This involves stating the truth, setting boundaries, and relinquishing the need to rescue. By embracing discomfort, we create space for authentic conversations, fostering trust, respect, and genuine connection.   Key Takeaways: Recognizing Childhood Influences: Childhood experiences deeply shape our relationship dynamics, leading to subconscious behaviors like walking on eggshells. Understanding these early patterns is crucial for breaking free from old cycles.   Letting Go of Rescuing Behaviors: Rescuing someone in conversations, though well-intentioned, often hinders honest communication. Letting them "sit in the uncomfortable" while stating the truth and maintaining boundaries empowers both parties to engage authentically.   Embracing Discomfort for Growth: Discomfort in conversations is an opportunity for growth and understanding. By challenging the urge to rescue and allowing space for vulnerability, we pave the way for deeper connections and resilient relationships.     To find the real issues, just work backward from the conflict, finding the 'eggshells'—those places of fear, avoidance, and unresolved things. That’ll show you exactly what happened.     Get your FREE Boundaries Ebook here! If you're ready to find your voice, set healthy boundaries, and create more fulfilling relationships, this guide is your roadmap!   Need more?  Check out the Masterclass on Reclaiming Your Voice:   https://www.findyourvoicecourse.com/beyond-words     Hey! My signature course is live!  I am so excited to also offer a free upgrade to the group coaching program.  Be sure to click here to check it out: https://findyourvoicecourse.com/   Need coaching? Just contact me here to set up a free consult! mbaker@soarwithmarybaker.com   Resources: Join the private Facebook group! It’s a great group of people working on themselves…and supporting each other.  https://www.facebook.com/groups/1212485642262143     Make sure you sign up for the bonus downloads at www.ownitpowercast.com.  Tribe members will receive them in their email each week. Thank you for tuning in to this podcast. Please remember to leave a positive review on your podcast platform and let us know how this episode has been helpful. Also don’t forget to subscribe to this podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play or Spotify so you don’t miss a thing!

  Welcome to episode 248 where we explore how our brains impact our ability to set boundaries in the moment. In this episode, we explore the impact of childhood coping mechanisms—fight, flight, freeze, and fawn—on adult boundary-setting behaviors. The limbic system, our emotional brain, often guides our immediate reactions in boundary-setting situations, stemming from survival strategies developed in childhood. These automatic responses can lead to patterns of behavior that might not always align with our best interests as adults.   However, by understanding these childhood coping mechanisms, we can begin to navigate boundary-setting with greater awareness and intentionality. Engaging our prefrontal cortex—the thinking brain—allows us to pause, reflect, and make conscious decisions about our boundaries. Through reflection, self-compassion, and aligning boundaries with our values, we can move away from automatic survival strategies and toward healthier, more assertive ways of setting boundaries.   Key Takeaways: Pause and Reflect: When faced with a boundary-setting situation, take a moment to pause and breathe. This allows you to disengage from automatic reactions and engage your thinking brain for more intentional responses.  Align with Values: Consider your values and well-being when setting boundaries. Aligning your boundaries with what matters most to you gives you clarity and purpose in your decisions.  Practice Self-Compassion: Setting boundaries can be challenging, especially when breaking old patterns. Remember to be gentle with yourself and acknowledge that growth takes time. Self-compassion encourages learning and growth in your boundary-setting journey.      When you react with fear, you're handing over power to others. It's time to take back control  and finally own your strength.   Get your FREE Boundaries Ebook here! If you're ready to find your voice, set healthy boundaries, and create more fulfilling relationships, this guide is your roadmap!   Need more?  Check out the Masterclass on Reclaiming Your Voice:   https://www.findyourvoicecourse.com/beyond-words     Hey! My signature course is live!  I am so excited to also offer a free upgrade to the group coaching program.  Be sure to click here to check it out: https://findyourvoicecourse.com/   Need coaching? Just contact me here to set up a free consult! mbaker@soarwithmarybaker.com   Resources: Join the private Facebook group! It’s a great group of people working on themselves…and supporting each other.  https://www.facebook.com/groups/1212485642262143     Make sure you sign up for the bonus downloads at www.ownitpowercast.com.  Tribe members will receive them in their email each week. Thank you for tuning in to this podcast. Please remember to leave a positive review on your podcast platform and let us know how this episode has been helpful. Also don’t forget to subscribe to this podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play or Spotify so you don’t miss a thing!

Welcome to episode 247 where we explore how boundaries in relationships make it safe to be open and connecting. In this episode, we describe the delicate balance of vulnerability within boundaries. We explore how sharing our vulnerabilities can deepen connections, but also discuss the importance of discerning when it's safe to do so. By setting clear boundaries, we create a safe space where authentic communication and emotional intimacy can flourish. We emphasize the significance of starting small, being clear about our needs, and observing the responses of others to determine if they are emotionally healthy enough to trust with our vulnerabilities. By understanding the role of boundaries in vulnerability, we empower ourselves to cultivate meaningful connections built on trust, empathy, and mutual respect. Remember, vulnerability is a strength, and when shared within healthy boundaries, it can lead to meaningful relationships that help us grow and enrich our life.     KeyTakeaways:   Start Small and Gauge Responses: Begin by sharing small vulnerabilities to test the waters and observe how the other person responds. This allows you to assess their empathy and understanding before diving deeper. Communicate Boundaries Clearly: Before sharing vulnerable information, be clear about your boundaries and needs. This sets the stage for respectful and balanced interactions. Trust Your Instincts: Pay attention to red flags and trust your instincts. If something feels off or uncomfortable, it's okay to hold back and reassess the relationship.     Vulnerability is the cornerstone of trust in relationships. When we reveal our truth to another person,  we are essentially saying, "I trust you with my innermost self."     Get your FREE Boundaries Ebook here! If you're ready to find your voice, set healthy boundaries, and create more fulfilling relationships, this guide is your roadmap!     Hey! My signature course is live!  I am so excited to also offer a free upgrade to the group coaching program.  Be sure to click here to check it out: https://findyourvoicecourse.com/   Need coaching? Just contact me here to set up a free consult! mbaker@soarwithmarybaker.com   Resources: Join the private Facebook group! It’s a great group of people working on themselves…and supporting each other.  https://www.facebook.com/groups/1212485642262143     Make sure you sign up for the bonus downloads at www.ownitpowercast.com.  Tribe members will receive them in their email each week. Thank you for tuning in to this podcast. Please remember to leave a positive review on your podcast platform and let us know how this episode has been helpful. Also don’t forget to subscribe to this podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play or Spotify so you don’t miss a thing!    

Welcome to episode 245 where we get into the magic of detachment that allows us to have boundaries, and to grieve instead of trying to control. In this episode, we delve into the transformative journey of setting boundaries through the lens of detachment and grieving. We explore how detaching from others' emotions, behaviors, and choices is not about indifference, but rather creating the emotional space necessary for healthy boundaries to flourish. By honoring the process of grieving losses associated with setting boundaries, such as the end of familiar dynamics or relationships, we pave the way for deeper self-awareness and growth.   We discuss practical strategies for practicing detachment, including mindfulness, setting emotional boundaries, and letting go of the need to control outcomes. Navigating the grieving process involves allowing ourselves to feel the range of emotions that come with change, expressing ourselves creatively, and seeking support when needed.   Key Takeaways:   Create Emotional Space: Detachment allows for the creation of emotional space, providing clarity to recognize when boundaries are being crossed and respond from a place of strength.   Honor the Grieving Process: Acknowledge and honor the feelings of loss and change that come with setting boundaries. This process is essential for healing and moving forward.   Practice Self-Compassion: Throughout the journey of setting boundaries, remember to be gentle with yourself. Self-compassion allows for growth, resilience, and the ability to navigate relationships with authenticity.   Detachment is about creating space between ourselves and the swirling whirlpool of other people's stuff. Their drama, their opinions, their actions—they're not ours to carry.   Get your FREE Boundaries Ebook here! If you're ready to find your voice, set healthy boundaries, and create more fulfilling relationships, this guide is your roadmap!     Hey! My signature course is live!  I am so excited to also offer a free upgrade to the group coaching program.  Be sure to click here to check it out: https://findyourvoicecourse.com/   Need coaching? Just contact me here to set up a free consult! mbaker@soarwithmarybaker.com   Resources: Join the private Facebook group! It’s a great group of people working on themselves…and supporting each other.  https://www.facebook.com/groups/1212485642262143     Make sure you sign up for the bonus downloads at www.ownitpowercast.com.  Tribe members will receive them in their email each week. Thank you for tuning in to this podcast. Please remember to leave a positive review on your podcast platform and let us know how this episode has been helpful. Also don’t forget to subscribe to this podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play or Spotify so you don’t miss a thing!  

  Welcome to episode 246 where we focus on the fears that can keep us from setting healthy limits. In this episode, we dive into the journey – and often a bumpy ride - of navigating discomfort and fear when setting boundaries. We explore the common fears that arise, such as fear of rejection, conflict, or disapproval, and how these fears can be deeply rooted in past experiences. From enmeshed family dynamics to conditional love, our upbringing plays a significant role in shaping our relationship with boundaries. However, setting boundaries is not about erasing these fears, but rather about developing practical strategies to manage and overcome them. We discuss actionable steps to empower you in asserting your needs and desires authentically. From reframing fear as a sign of growth to practicing self-compassion, this episode offers valuable insights to navigate the sometimes challenging waters of boundary setting.   Key Takeaways:   Reframe Fear as Growth: Understand that discomfort and fear when setting boundaries are often signs of growth. Instead of seeing them as obstacles, view them as opportunities for personal development and empowerment. Practice Self-Compassion: Be gentle with yourself throughout the process. Setting boundaries can be challenging, and it's okay to feel uncomfortable. Offer yourself kindness and understanding as you navigate this journey. Develop Practical Strategies: Equip yourself with practical tools to manage discomfort and fear. This includes techniques such as visualization, scripting conversations, setting small boundaries first, and seeking support from trusted friends or professionals.     Setting the boundary is just the beginning… The real challenge lies in maintaining it.  Stay true to your boundaries, even when it's tough. Your consistency speaks volumes.     Get your FREE Boundaries Ebook here! If you're ready to find your voice, set healthy boundaries, and create more fulfilling relationships, this guide is your roadmap!     Hey! My signature course is live!  I am so excited to also offer a free upgrade to the group coaching program.  Be sure to click here to check it out: https://findyourvoicecourse.com/   Need coaching? Just contact me here to set up a free consult! mbaker@soarwithmarybaker.com   Resources: Join the private Facebook group! It’s a great group of people working on themselves…and supporting each other.  https://www.facebook.com/groups/1212485642262143     Thank you for tuning in to this podcast. Please remember to leave a positive review on your podcast platform and let us know how this episode has been helpful. Also don’t forget to subscribe to this podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play or Spotify so you don’t miss a thing!

Welcome to episode 244 where we talk about how boundaries and control are two very different things, even if they are often confused. In this episode, we talk about the power of boundaries and the misconceptions that often cloak them as tools of control. We explore how boundaries are not about dictating others' actions but about taking responsibility for our own well-being, choices, and values. By setting boundaries, we create a space of empowerment, allowing us to define how we want to be treated and what aligns with our true selves. We discuss the dangers of reactive boundaries that focus on changing others, highlighting the importance of shifting the focus back to ourselves and our needs. Through examples and discussions, we uncover the true essence of boundaries as allies in self-discovery, self-respect, and healthy relationships.   Three Key Takeaways:   Boundaries Empower Self-Responsibility: Setting boundaries is an act of self-respect and empowerment. It means recognizing our needs, values, and limits, and communicating them clearly to others. Boundaries empower us to take ownership of our choices and responses in various situations.   Reactive Boundaries and Control: Reactive boundaries, when aimed at changing or manipulating others, can easily slip into controlling behaviors. It's crucial to shift the focus back to ourselves, ensuring that our boundaries are centered on our well-being and values rather than trying to control external circumstances.   Healthy Boundaries Foster Authentic Connections: When we set and uphold healthy boundaries, we create space for genuine, respectful, and fulfilling relationships. Boundaries serve as the framework for open communication, mutual understanding, and the freedom to be our authentic selves in our interactions with others.   Boundaries aren't about control; they're about letting go of what will happen when we say no. To honor our truth regardless.     Get your FREE Boundaries Ebook here! If you're ready to find your voice, set healthy boundaries, and create more fulfilling relationships, this guide is your roadmap!     Hey! My signature course is live!  I am so excited to also offer a free upgrade to the group coaching program.  Be sure to click here to check it out: https://findyourvoicecourse.com/   Need coaching? Just contact me here to set up a free consult! mbaker@soarwithmarybaker.com   Resources: Join the private Facebook group! It’s a great group of people working on themselves…and supporting each other.  https://www.facebook.com/groups/1212485642262143     Make sure you sign up for the bonus downloads at www.ownitpowercast.com.  Tribe members will receive them in their email each week. Thank you for tuning in to this podcast. Please remember to leave a positive review on your podcast platform and let us know how this episode has been helpful. Also don’t forget to subscribe to this podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play or Spotify so you don’t miss a thing!

Welcome to episode 243 where we look at ways fear can rob us of having the life we deserve. In this episode, we confront the insidious nature of fear, which often masquerades as a protector while robbing us of our dreams and aspirations. Fear whispers lies of inadequacy and failure, creating barriers that keep us small and confined within our comfort zones. We explore the personal costs of living under fear's shadow, from missed opportunities to the toll on our mental and emotional well-being. Through stories and insights, we uncover the courage to break free from fear's grip, embracing a life guided by passion, values, and aspirations.   Key Takeaways:   Recognize Fear's Disguise: Fear often presents itself as a protective force, but it's essential to recognize when it's holding us back. By identifying the subtle ways fear manifests—such as self-doubt, hesitation, or avoidance—we can begin to challenge its grip on our lives.   Break Free Through Action: Taking small, consistent steps outside our comfort zones is key to breaking free from fear. Whether it's pursuing a passion project, learning a new skill, or seeking out growth opportunities, action helps build confidence and resilience.   Live Authentically and Courageously: Embracing a life guided by passion, values, and aspirations requires courage. It means daring to envision the life we truly desire, challenging limiting beliefs, and surrounding ourselves with supportive communities. By cultivating mindfulness, self-compassion, and a growth mindset, we empower ourselves to step boldly into the unknown and create a life rich with meaning and fulfillment.   The longer you listen to your fear, the smaller your life will become.     Get your FREE Boundaries Ebook here! If you're ready to find your voice, set healthy boundaries, and create more fulfilling relationships, this guide is your roadmap!    Hey! My signature course is live!  I am so excited to also offer a free upgrade to the group coaching program.  Be sure to click here to check it out: https://findyourvoicecourse.com/   Need coaching? Just contact me here to set up a free consult! mbaker@soarwithmarybaker.com   Resources: Join the private Facebook group! It’s a great group of people working on themselves…and supporting each other.  https://www.facebook.com/groups/1212485642262143     Make sure you sign up for the bonus downloads at www.ownitpowercast.com.  Tribe members will receive them in their email each week. Thank you for tuning in to this podcast. Please remember to leave a positive review on your podcast platform and let us know how this episode has been helpful. Also don’t forget to subscribe to this podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play or Spotify so you don’t miss a thing!

  Welcome to episode 242 where we talk about how to tap into your inner wisdom when you need it most. In this episode, we talk about anxiety and how it's not always a bad thing. Sometimes, it's like our inner GPS, trying to tell us something important. When we feel anxious, it could mean there's a conflict between what we think we should do and what our gut feeling is telling us.  Our higher self knows what's up, even when our rational mind is trying to convince us otherwise. So, instead of seeing anxiety as a problem, we can view it as a guide, nudging us towards what's best for us. We then discuss how to practice truly stopping and listening to ourselves and processing our genuine feelings with safe people.   Key Takeaways: Listen to Your Gut: Pay attention to how you're feeling, even if it's uncomfortable. Your intuition often knows what's right for you. Slow Down and Reflect: Take time to pause, breathe, and check in with yourself. Creating space for introspection can help you decipher your emotions and gain clarity. Trust Yourself: Honor the messages your emotions are trying to convey, and trust that you have the wisdom within you to navigate life's challenges.       Trust yourself. Honor the messages your emotions are trying to convey, even if they don't make logical sense at first. Your intuition is a powerful guide,  leading you towards what's best for your well-being.   Hey! My signature course is live!  I am so excited to also offer a free upgrade to the group coaching program.  Be sure to click here to check it out: https://findyourvoicecourse.com/   Need coaching? Just contact me here to set up a free consult! mbaker@soarwithmarybaker.com   Resources: Join the private Facebook group! It’s a great group of people working on themselves…and supporting each other.  https://www.facebook.com/groups/1212485642262143     Make sure you sign up for the bonus downloads at www.ownitpowercast.com.  Tribe members will receive them in their email each week. Thank you for tuning in to this podcast. Please remember to leave a positive review on your podcast platform and let us know how this episode has been helpful. Also don’t forget to subscribe to this podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play or Spotify so you don’t miss a thing!                              

Welcome to episode 241 where we look at the longstanding impacts unhealthy behavior has on our emotional safety. In this episode, we explore the profound impact of acknowledging and addressing unsafe moments in our lives. We look at the multifaceted nature of these moments, especially the emotional, physical, and psychological harm, and discussed the importance of validating these experiences to promote healing and empowerment. Moreover, we emphasize the significance of setting boundaries and advocating for ourselves in future interactions as crucial steps towards reclaiming personal agency, creating healthy relationships, and nurturing self-respect.   Key Takeaways: Validation and Acknowledgment: Acknowledging and validating experiences of unsafe moments is essential for promoting healing, empowerment, and resilience. By affirming the reality and legitimacy of these experiences, individuals can begin to process and navigate their emotions in a supportive and validating environment. Setting Boundaries: Setting boundaries and advocating for ourselves in future interactions is crucial for protecting our well-being, maintaining healthy relationships, and fostering self-respect. Clear communication about personal boundaries fosters mutual understanding, trust, and respect, leading to stronger and more harmonious connections. Embracing Healthier: Focusing on bringing our “in the moment” wounding to safe people who are the only ones who can help us heal and have a very different, vulnerable yet safe experience to heal what we didn’t get before.      The Moment Is Where we need to feel safe and secure… to deal with conflict effectively, to negotiate needs, to be heard, to connect.  Everything happens in that moment.  It’s Everything.   Hey! My signature course is live!  I am so excited to also offer a free upgrade to the group coaching program.  Be sure to click here to check it out: https://findyourvoicecourse.com/   Need coaching? Just contact me here to set up a free consult! mbaker@soarwithmarybaker.com   Resources: Join the private Facebook group! It’s a great group of people working on themselves…and supporting each other.  https://www.facebook.com/groups/1212485642262143     Make sure you sign up for the bonus downloads at www.ownitpowercast.com.  Tribe members will receive them in their email each week. Thank you for tuning in to this podcast. Please remember to leave a positive review on your podcast platform and let us know how this episode has been helpful. Also don’t forget to subscribe to this podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play or Spotify so you don’t miss a thing!    

Welcome to episode 240 where we explore the true costs of not owning a very important emotion.   In this episode, we discuss the intricate relationship between disowned anger, negative self-image, and the belief in one's powerlessness. Expanding from the psychological dynamics within unhealthy family setups to the impact on personal well-being, we explored how suppressed anger can lead to a distorted self-concept, fostering feelings of passivity and powerlessness. Additionally, we discuss the importance of acknowledging anger in the grieving process, emphasizing that skipping this essential phase may hinder true self-honor and impede the complete healing journey.   Key Takeaways:   Understanding the Anger-Identity Connection: The episode highlighted the interconnectedness of anger expression with personal identity and well-being. Recognizing and addressing disowned anger is a crucial step in fostering a healthier self-concept and breaking free from patterns of negative self-image.   Navigating Unhealthy Family Dynamics: The discussion underscored the impact of unhealthy family dynamics on anger expression and personal empowerment. By exploring these dynamics, listeners gained insights into how familial patterns contribute to the development of disowned anger and learned strategies for breaking free from these cycles.   Honoring Anger in Grief: A key takeaway emphasized the importance of acknowledging and expressing anger as an integral part of the grief process. Listeners were encouraged to embrace the full spectrum of emotions associated with loss, recognizing that genuine healing involves authentically navigating through the anger phase toward a more complete self-integration.                                Worrying about what others think holds back your real self. Speak up, be you, and don't let fear water down your truth. It takes guts to be genuine, but it's worth it!   Hey! My signature course is live!  I am so excited to also offer a free upgrade to the group coaching program.  Be sure to click here to check it out: https://findyourvoicecourse.com/   Need coaching? Just contact me here to set up a free consult! mbaker@soarwithmarybaker.com   Resources: Join the private Facebook group! It’s a great group of people working on themselves…and supporting each other.  https://www.facebook.com/groups/1212485642262143     Make sure you sign up for the bonus downloads at www.ownitpowercast.com.  Tribe members will receive them in their email each week. Thank you for tuning in to this podcast. Please remember to leave a positive review on your podcast platform and let us know how this episode has been helpful. Also don’t forget to subscribe to this podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play or Spotify so you don’t miss a thing!

Welcome to episode 239 where we focus on the process of gaining the most important approval: from ourselves.   In this episode, we explored the concept of gaining self-approval as opposed to relying on external validation to feel good about ourselves. We began by discussing common ways we can outsource our sense of approval, examining the roots of this behavior in childhood experiences, and delving into the impact of perfectionism. We then talk about practical steps for listeners to cultivate self-approval, including self-reflection exercises to identify core values and goals, mindfulness practices, and the importance of setting boundaries. We focus on the significance of breaking free from the cycle of seeking external validation, encouraging listeners to develop self-compassion, set realistic goals, and prioritize their well-being. By understanding the origins of approval-seeking behaviors and implementing actionable strategies, we can toward a more authentic and self-affirming life.   Key Takeaways: Cultivate Self-Reflection for Core Values: Encourage listeners to engage in self-reflection exercises to identify their core values and goals. This process serves as a foundation for understanding personal motivations, making decisions aligned with authentic values, and fostering self-approval. Establish Healthy Boundaries:  Highlight the role of boundaries in maintaining a healthy sense of self. Emphasize the importance of setting limits, preserving individuality, and protecting emotional well-being. Healthy boundaries contribute to balanced relationships and prevent the erosion of self-esteem. Break Free from Perfectionism: Address the connection between perfectionism and seeking approval. Encourage listeners to recognize and challenge perfectionistic tendencies, understanding that self-worth is not solely tied to external achievements. By embracing imperfections and fostering self-compassion, we can break free from the cycle of perfectionism and seek approval from within.      Anytime we go against what we say matters, and we look out there to be ok, we're in trouble. Seeking external validation cannot coexist with authentic self-worth.     Hey! My signature course is live!  I am so excited to also offer a free upgrade to the group coaching program.  Be sure to click here to check it out: https://findyourvoicecourse.com/   Need coaching? Just contact me here to set up a free consult! mbaker@soarwithmarybaker.com   Resources: Join the private Facebook group! It’s a great group of people working on themselves…and supporting each other.  https://www.facebook.com/groups/1212485642262143     Make sure you sign up for the bonus downloads at www.ownitpowercast.com.  Tribe members will receive them in their email each week. Thank you for tuning in to this podcast. Please remember to leave a positive review on your podcast platform and let us know how this episode has been helpful. Also don’t forget to subscribe to this podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play or Spotify so you don’t miss a thing!       R

Welcome to episode 238 where we explore what is kept quiet, yet at the core of so much emotional pain.    This episode focuses on the exploration of shame as a complex and pervasive emotion takes center stage. We shed light on the impact of shame, revealing its ability to thrive in silence and secrecy. Then we got into the huge emotional, psychological, and physical toll of shame on individuals. Looking at the common signs of shame, we emphasize the tendency for this emotion to isolate and hinder genuine connections. To combat shame, we need self-compassion, open communication, and seeking support from trusted individuals or professionals. It's so important to break the cycle of silence and fostering environments that encourage vulnerability, authenticity, and understanding.   Key Takeaways: Silent Struggles of Shame: We highlight the silent struggles associated with shame, ranging from avoidance behaviors and withdrawal to negative self-talk and fear of judgment. By bringing these struggles to the forefront, it encourages viewers to recognize and empathize with the hidden emotional battles that individuals may be facing. Impact Across Dimensions: The exploration of shame underscores its impact across emotional, psychological, and physical dimensions. Understanding how shame manifests in various aspects of life provides insights into its pervasive nature and the need for holistic approaches to address and overcome this complex emotion.   Combat Shame Through Connection: The episode emphasizes the power of self-compassion, open communication, and seeking support as key tools in combatting shame. By breaking the silence surrounding shame and fostering authentic connections, individuals can navigate the path towards healing and self-acceptance.      You need a lot of love, support, and acceptance... right where you are, in order to do the work. We HAVE to feel safe first.      Hey! My signature course is live!  I am so excited to also offer a free upgrade to the group coaching program.  Be sure to click here to check it out: https://findyourvoicecourse.com/   Resources: Join the private Facebook group! It’s a great group of people working on themselves…and supporting each other.  https://www.facebook.com/groups/1212485642262143     Make sure you sign up for the bonus downloads at www.ownitpowercast.com.  Tribe members will receive them in their email each week. Thank you for tuning in to this podcast. Please remember to leave a positive review on your podcast platform and let us know how this episode has been helpful. Also don’t forget to subscribe to this podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play or Spotify so you don’t miss a thing!

Welcome to episode 237 where we explore the impacts of avoidance on our relationships – with others and ourselves. In today's episode, Today, we explore the pervasive nature of avoidance in our lives, focusing on its impact in both relationships and social situations. We delve into the consequences of evading difficult conversations, highlighting how it leads to communication breakdown, unresolved issues, and a gradual erosion of trust in personal and professional relationships. We also examine avoidance in social contexts, showcasing examples such as skipping social events, avoiding networking opportunities, and sidestepping conversations with strangers. By shedding light on these patterns, we emphasize the importance of recognizing avoidance in various aspects of life and understanding the long-term implications it can have on our well-being and connections with others.   Key Takeaways:   Communication is Crucial: Avoidance of difficult conversations can result in a breakdown of communication, leading to unresolved issues and a strained emotional connection. Recognizing the importance of open communication is key to building and maintaining healthy relationships.   Embrace Discomfort for Growth: Avoiding social situations or challenges may provide short-term relief, but it hinders personal and relational growth in the long run. Embracing discomfort, whether in conversations or new experiences, is essential for personal development and the enrichment of connections.   Proactive Steps for Change: Understanding the consequences of avoidance is the first step toward positive change. Proactively addressing avoidance in both relationships and social settings can lead to improved mental well-being, stronger connections, and a more fulfilling life overall.      The more we face,  and address, and clean up, own, and express, the more confident,  grounded, and happier we are.         Hey! My signature course is live!  I am so excited to also offer a free upgrade to the group coaching program.  Be sure to click here to check it out: https://findyourvoicecourse.com/   Resources: Join the private Facebook group! It’s a great group of people working on themselves…and supporting each other.  https://www.facebook.com/groups/1212485642262143     Make sure you sign up for the bonus downloads at www.ownitpowercast.com.  Tribe members will receive them in their email each week. Thank you for tuning in to this podcast. Please remember to leave a positive review on your podcast platform and let us know how this episode has been helpful. Also don’t forget to subscribe to this podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play or Spotify so you don’t miss a thing!

EP236 Don’t Make It Yours: How to Detach from Others’ Reactions Welcome to episode 236 where we focus on not making the feelings and behaviors of others about us.   In today's episode, we talk about emotional detachment, specifically focusing on understanding and responding to others' acted-out emotions. We explore the importance of approaching and interpreting behaviors with empathy, active listening, and open communication. Recognizing that others' actions are not a personal reflection is crucial for maintaining emotional well-being. Setting healthy boundaries ensures that we engage with empathy without absorbing the intensity of their emotions. To navigate intense situations, staying calm, expressing empathy, and knowing when to step back are essential communication strategies. Fostering emotional connections involves a delicate balance of understanding, self-awareness, and effective communication.    Takeaways:   Empathy Without Absorption: Cultivate empathy for others' emotions without internalizing their behaviors. Recognize that understanding does not necessitate taking their actions personally.   Setting Healthy Boundaries: Establish clear emotional boundaries to protect your mental well-being. Acknowledge your right to prioritize your emotional health without feeling responsible for others' reactions.   Communication Strategies: Stay calm and grounded in intense emotional situations. Use "I" statements, express empathy, and offer solutions or suggestions when appropriate.   Know when it's necessary to take a step back, giving both parties space to cool down and revisit the conversation later.      Emotional detachment isn't disconnecting from feelings; it's about a healthy boundary between showing empathy  and absorbing their feelings and making them  about YOU.    Hey! My signature course is live!  I am so excited to also offer a free upgrade to the group coaching program.  Be sure to click here to check it out: https://findyourvoicecourse.com/   Resources: Join the private Facebook group! It’s a great group of people working on themselves…and supporting each other.  https://www.facebook.com/groups/1212485642262143     Make sure you sign up for the bonus downloads at www.ownitpowercast.com.  Tribe members will receive them in their email each week. Thank you for tuning in to this podcast. Please remember to leave a positive review on your podcast platform and let us know how this episode has been helpful. Also don’t forget to subscribe to this podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play or Spotify so you don’t miss a thing!

Welcome to episode 235 where we get ready for a fresh start by first looking at what needs to go. In this episode, we dive into the transformative theme of emotional reset as we bid farewell to the past and welcome the new year. We explore the common emotional burdens people carry, such as grudges, self-doubt, fear, and unhealthy relationships, and discussed practical strategies for letting go. From acknowledging feelings to setting boundaries, our conversation provides actionable insights to facilitate a positive and intentional emotional reset. We also emphasize the importance of reflection, self-compassion, and seeking support in this journey towards personal growth.   Key Takeaways:   Letting Go Is Liberating: The act of letting go is a liberating experience that creates space for personal growth. Whether it's releasing grudges, self-doubt, or unhealthy relationships, shedding emotional baggage opens the door to new possibilities.   Boundaries Are Empowering: Establishing clear boundaries is an empowering act of self-care. It allows you to define your limits, protect your well-being, and build healthier relationships. Setting boundaries is a key component of the emotional reset process.   Embrace the Journey of Renewal: The journey of emotional reset is ongoing. It involves self-reflection, forgiveness, and a commitment to positive change. As we step into the new year, let's carry forward the lessons learned, cultivate resilience, and embrace the joy of new beginnings.     Maybe you… Allowed things people situations in your life that you regret since they brought so much chaos, anxiety and maybe pain. Didn’t listen to your gut when you needed to. Didn’t take enough time for yourself to even NOTICE the boundary blurs. Overstepped and tried to rescue fix others or situations not in your lane to protect yourself from the ultimate reality. But just because... you DID these things, doesn’t mean it can’t be a VERY different story going forward.  Are you ready?   Hey! My signature course is live!  I am so excited to also offer a free upgrade to the group coaching program.  Be sure to click here to check it out: https://findyourvoicecourse.com/   Resources: Join the private Facebook group! It’s a great group of people working on themselves…and supporting each other.  https://www.facebook.com/groups/1212485642262143     Make sure you sign up for the bonus downloads at www.ownitpowercast.com.  Tribe members will receive them in their email each week. Thank you for tuning in to this podcast. Please remember to leave a positive review on your podcast platform and let us know how this episode has been helpful. Also don’t forget to subscribe to this podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play or Spotify so you don’t miss a thing!

Welcome to episode 234 where it’s all about looking at what you tolerate…especially the invisible things! In this episode, we look at one of the aspects of life that often go unnoticed—what are you tolerating? Unveiling the hidden elements we endure, whether in personal relationships, work environments, or within ourselves, becomes the catalyst for personal growth and positive change. We discuss the impact on mental health, relationships, and overall happiness. The episode encourages listeners to reflect on their own lives, prompting a self-discovery journey to identify and confront the tolerations that may be hindering their true potential.   Key Takeaways:   Self-Reflection and Awareness: The episode underscores the importance of self-reflection and heightened awareness in recognizing the areas of life where individuals may be tolerating negativity. Listeners are encouraged to engage in introspective practices, fostering a deeper understanding of their own thoughts, emotions, and the dynamics of their relationships and environments.   Empowerment through Action: Listeners learn that acknowledging tolerations is just the first step; the transformative journey involves setting healthy boundaries, practicing self-compassion, and actively pursuing positive change. By embracing agency over their lives, individuals can break free from the chains of complacency and compromise, fostering personal growth and resilience.   Cultivating a Life of Fulfillment: The podcast emphasizes that addressing tolerations is not merely about eliminating negativity but about creating a life of fulfillment. Listeners gain insights into how shedding tolerations can lead to improved mental health, enhanced relationships, and an overall sense of happiness. By cultivating authenticity and making choices aligned with their values, we can build towards a more purposeful and satisfying life.     Shame is what we hide  in the back of the drawer and under the bed.  We don’t want to look at it and we pretend it isn’t there. Yet we can’t feel clean  until we yank it out  and get rid of it…by sharing it  and healing it.     Hey! My signature course is live!  I am so excited to also offer a free upgrade to the group coaching program.  Be sure to click here to check it out: https://findyourvoicecourse.com/   Resources: Join the private Facebook group! It’s a great group of people working on themselves…and supporting each other.  https://www.facebook.com/groups/1212485642262143     Make sure you sign up for the bonus downloads at www.ownitpowercast.com.  Tribe members will receive them in their email each week. Thank you for tuning in to this podcast. Please remember to leave a positive review on your podcast platform and let us know how this episode has been helpful. Also don’t forget to subscribe to this podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play or Spotify so you don’t miss a thing!

Welcome to episode 233 where we continue the conversation about how your childhood shaped your understanding of healthy boundaries.  In today's episode, we discuss the profound impact of challenging family dynamics, particularly those marked by addiction, mental health issues, and emotional chaos. Our discussion focuses on how these factors create an environment where healthy boundaries are often absent, making it challenging for individuals, especially children, to feel safe, respected, and equipped with effective problem-solving skills.  From the experience of being parentified to role reversal, we explore the stressors that children in such families face, often leading to the development of survival mechanisms rather than healthy boundary work. The conversation highlights the intricate web of ramifications these dynamics weave within the family structure, shaping you and influencing your relationships.   Key Takeaways:   Impact on Boundaries: Challenging family dynamics, including addiction and mental health issues, can severely hinder the development of healthy boundaries. Children growing up in such environments often face difficulties in understanding and establishing boundaries due to the emotional chaos and instability around them.  Survival Mechanisms vs. Boundary Work: In families where survival becomes a learned behavior, the focus on establishing and respecting boundaries may take a back seat. Children may prioritize navigating the challenges of their environment, leading to the development of survival mechanisms that can persist into adulthood. Long-Term Ramifications: The repercussions of these dynamics extend beyond childhood, influencing individuals in their adult lives and affecting their relationships. Recognizing and addressing the impact of early experiences is crucial for breaking patterns and fostering healthier approaches to boundary-setting and interpersonal connections.   Growing up in emotional chaos made it tough to feel safe, respected, and learn about boundaries and problem-solving. Even you super high achievers didn’t get out unscathed. You have wounds. And those wounds need to be healed.     Hey! My signature course is live!  I am so excited to also offer a free upgrade to the group coaching program.  Be sure to click here to check it out: https://findyourvoicecourse.com/   Resources: Join the private Facebook group! It’s a great group of people working on themselves…and supporting each other.  https://www.facebook.com/groups/1212485642262143     Make sure you sign up for the bonus downloads at www.ownitpowercast.com.  Tribe members will receive them in their email each week. Thank you for tuning in to this podcast. Please remember to leave a positive review on your podcast platform and let us know how this episode has been helpful. Also don’t forget to subscribe to this podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play or Spotify so you don’t miss a thing!  

  Welcome to episode 232 where we begin the conversation about how your childhood shaped your understanding of healthy boundaries. In this episode, we  explore the myriad factors within family dynamics that can contribute to a lack of clear understanding of healthy boundaries for children as they grow up. By dissecting these, we uncover the struggles families can create when there aren’t clear teaching and modeling of boundaries. We will continue the conversation in the next episode!   Key Takeaways: Family Dynamics' Role: Your family dynamics played a pivotal role in shaping your understanding of boundaries. This includes communication patterns, parental behavior, and what was normalized for you.   Understanding of What Was Yours Your family was supposed to show you what belonged to you vs what belonged to others, and what to expect from behaviors. Many families struggle to do this well.   Poor Boundaries Create Anxiety When kids don’t know what to expect from one day to the next, in terms of discipline, parental emotional engagement or what to trust, it puts eggshells on the floor, and makes is emotionally unsafe.   Our families are first classrooms, where we learn: How to say no How to hear no How to accept no. How to know what’s ours and what isn’t. Our parents taught us that – or didn’t. And our families modeled that – or didn’t.       Hey! My signature course is live!  I am so excited to also offer a free upgrade to the group coaching program.  Be sure to click here to check it out: https://findyourvoicecourse.com/   Resources: Join the private Facebook group! It’s a great group of people working on themselves…and supporting each other.  https://www.facebook.com/groups/1212485642262143     Make sure you sign up for the bonus downloads at www.ownitpowercast.com.  Tribe members will receive them in their email each week. Thank you for tuning in to this podcast. Please remember to leave a positive review on your podcast platform and let us know how this episode has been helpful. Also don’t forget to subscribe to this podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play or Spotify so you don’t miss a thing!