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Stable Moments Podcast

Author: Rebecca Britt

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The show where we discuss all things related to the foster care system and early childhood trauma. From foster parents, trauma experts, former foster kids and beyond, we’ll take a deep dive into the complexities of the foster care crisis in an effort to better understand how to fix it!
80 Episodes
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In this episode we dive into Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACES) and their profound impact on human development. Join as we explore how ACES shape both physical and mental health outcomes throughout an individual's life, particularly in the context of foster care and adoption. In this episode, we uncover the significance of trauma-informed approaches in addressing complex trauma experienced by children in foster care and adoption systems. We highlight the importance of understanding ACES and the lasting effects they can have on individuals, while also shedding light on how Positive Childhood Experiences (PCES) can serve as a powerful counterforce. We showcase the pivotal role of mentorship in helping children navigate the challenges posed by ACES and fostering resilience. Don't miss out on this insightful conversation! Hit that play button, like, share, and subscribe to stay tuned for more empowering discussions on foster care, adoption, and building resilience against adversity. Take your ACES and Resilience test: https://cls.unc.edu/wp-content/uploads/sites/3019/2016/08/From-ACESTOOHIGH-ACES-and-Resilience-questions.pdf Find a local PACES Connection: https://www.pacesconnection.com/pages/geographic-communities
In this episode, we dive into the therapeutic power of mentorship for children with complex trauma. Explore 4 transformative ways mentors can heal trauma by showing up, demonstrating genuine interest, navigating relationships, and being positive role models. Discover the magic of mentorship in fostering resilience and healing for kids in need. 🌟 #ChildMentorship #TraumaHealing #MentorshipMagic 🔗 Don't miss our free webinar at stablemoments.com for more valuable insights. 👩‍💼 As a social worker, I realized the need for more than psychoeducation. Trauma-informed family therapy is fantastic, but some kids are therapied out. Stable Moments provides the active engagement and life skill development they need while healing trauma in essential ways. 🌈 Explore 4 Ways Mentorship is Therapeutic: 1️⃣ Showing Up: Rebuilding trust and integrity by consistently being there for a child who has experienced inconsistency. 2️⃣ Showing Interest: Fostering self-worth and building strengths by exploring a child's interests with curiosity and positivity. 3️⃣ Navigating a Relationship: Overcoming the challenges of relationships, mentors demonstrate enriching, genuine connections. 4️⃣ Being a Role Model: Providing a positive example of a caring, responsible human, shaping a child's aspirations and possibilities. 🌐 Learn more about our model at www.stablemoments.com. Join us in making a difference through mentorship! 🤝 #StableMoments #ChildDevelopment"
In this episode we explore why children with complex trauma lie, and the Fact or Fiction activity we can use to support children who lie as a coping mechanism.
In this episode, Joan Ulsher shares how her traumatic childhood led her to be a child advocate and shares her new book Misplaced Childhood empowering others to become child advocates. After foster care, Joan is returned home and subjected to more abuse. How can she be saved? Misplaced Childhood chronicles one woman’s powerful journey to overcome a tragic past and use her “lived experiences” to inspire others. Wounded by poverty, child abuse, and foster care, Joan Ulsher discovers a purpose-filled life through military service and faith in God. This transformational journey of survival and triumph ultimately leads Joan to become a fierce volunteer advocate for children in foster care, despite not having a dedicated advocate as a child herself. Misplaced Childhood introduces readers to the Court Appointed Special Advocate (CASA) model, where Joan continues exploring childhood memories while highlighting her exceptional advocacy journey shaped by the children whose lives are impacted along the way. With its candid look at child welfare and advocacy alongside a personal narrative of healing, Misplaced Childhood opens up new levels of compassion for children suffering from abuse and neglect. Impeccably researched and told with great transparency, empathy, and vulnerability, Misplaced Childhood will inspire readers to embrace the vulnerable inner child in us all and take action for America’s forgotten children. Check Joan out at www.joanulsher.com
#73: We Don't Fix Kids

#73: We Don't Fix Kids

2023-06-2827:52

Many parents, mentors, and program directors feel the need to fix the foster kids we serve. It’s natural, but we don’t fix here, so I’m going to dive into what we do do, and how we can support everyone while just being in the thick of it.
On this week's episode we dive into some sticky situations submitted by Stable Moments locations. Many people ask "how does the approach look in action?" Here are some practical trauma-informed responses listeners can use when they are faced with sticky situations.
Up to 70% of children in #fostercare have #fetalalcoholspetrumdisorder, which is a condition caused by exposure to alcohol in the womb and can lead to physical, behavioral, and cognitive impairments. FASD is often underdiagnosed and many children with #FASD may be classified under other diagnoses such as #ADHD or developmental delay. On this month's Episode Laura Hernandez informs us of the impact FASD and how we can be supporting to children experiencing #FASD. Laura is the founder of www.mamasystems.net. "It took me years to develop systems, and life hacks to keep our family running and organized. By developing these systems, it helped our family run smoothly, it reduced my daily workload, and my house became a place of peace... yes, even with ten kids! I want to help other Mamas do the same." Laura Hernandez Follow her on Instagram @fasdmama
In this episode I break down how to build objectivity and open mindedness so you can show up more for those you serve, whether it be children in foster care, their parents, your volunteers or just people in general.
Use the WONDER Method to respond in a trauma-informed way when a child is triggered. Get a free WONDER Method download at www.stablemoments.com/wonder
Many foster children aren't able to think about the future. They wonder when their dad might get out of Jail or that there is no future for them, so this is how we can help.
Children in foster care may have only bad memories of the holidays. Maybe they remember it as a time where Santa always forgot their house. Maybe they remember their mom being stressed about not being able to afford Christmas. Perhaps they did have memorable Christmas but their special Christmas didn’t include a tree or gifts but a special trip to Waffle House every year. There was once a year time to eat out and everyone was happy. Maybe they recognized a different holiday. Maybe they were Jehova’s witnesses or celebrated Hanuka or Kwanza. So now that we have all these possibilities let's go into how we can show up for any kid during the holiday season.
Being both flexible and structured are big parts of the Stable Moments model…but wait, how can you be flexible AND structured? The truth is, kids, and most humans need a whole bunch of things…but we like to come up with blanket approaches - it’s easier for us. It’s actually the reason for our divisiveness and polarity as a country - many of us see one right answer, but it isn’t that simple. Many things can be true at the same time, and our approach has to offer more than one answer, especially to children in #fostercare with #complextrauma needs So what does being both flexible and structured look like? I am so glad you asked. Check out this month's podcast episode where I break it all down for you.
I got my first hate mail, attacking the Stable Moments model saying we're causing more trauma by allowing people who aren't credentialed to work with kids with complex trauma needs. In this episode, I read you the message and respond, letting you know we are all good enough to play an active role in the lives of these children.
In this episode, we talk about how to use your feelings as a guide to work on the things within yourself that need healing so you can show up fully for those you were created to serve! Take the ACES quiz here Get your Resilience Score here    
Ángela Quijada-Banks, (she/her) is an NAACP Image Awards Nominee and American Award-winning author of the Black Foster Youth Handbook. As a transformational speaker, she has touched thousands with her message to alchemize your pain to purpose and power. Through her holistic health coaching she supports spiritual wives in business to heal their acne, recover from iron deficiency anemia and prioritize their well-being without the sacrifice of their relationships,purpose or passions. As a nationally recognized community leader and philanthropist, she started the Soulful Liberation movement, impacting over 30,000 people to revolutionize historically oppressive systems through holistic health and healing trauma with coaching, workshops, training, and programming. She is currently writing a new book set to release September 2022. Soulful Liberation movement ( workshops and trainings ) : www.soulfulliberation.com The Black Foster Youth Handbook & I Am Success workbook-youth companion guide : www.soulfulliberation.com/books Ángela’s portfolio: www.originalsoulflower.com Holistic health coaching for spiritual wives in business: www.angelaquijadabanks.com
Join us as we sit down with Marla Higginbotham to learn about the Court Appointed Special Advocates (CASA) program and how you can get involved in this important work. With CASA programs across the country, everyone can become a CASA.Marla has spent the last 20+ years working in the nonprofit sector helping shape public policy initiatives focused on both community engagement and children’s education and well-being. After a successful 4 years as Executive Director CASA for Union County, Marla took the helm as Executive Director with CASA for Children of Essex County in NJ. Marla joined the CASA network from Jersey Cares where she was Senior Director of Operations and Foundation Relations. Marla is a former mediator/arbitrator for New Jersey’s Alternative Dispute Resolution Unit and has served on the Board of Trustees for The Montclair Kimberley Academy. She received a law degree from the University of Cincinnati, College of Law and an undergraduate degree in Urban Studies and Political Science from Northwestern University in Evanston, IL.Facebook @EssexAdvocatesInsta @casa_essexTwitter @EssexCASA
Shenandoah Chefalo is a graduate of Michigan State University, holding a Bachelor of Arts with a Major in Interdisciplinary Studies in Social Science, a Certified Coach, and a member of the Foster Leaders Movement. She is a sought after speaker on topics surrounding youth in foster care and the science and impact of trauma and resilience on various social issues; She is also the President and Owner of Chefalo Consulting: Trauma-Informed Specialist that helps private, governmental, and public organizations implement sustainable trauma-informed strategies that are focused on learning new skills as well as organizational culture changes and shifts.  She has been featured as a consultant and trainer nationally and internationally. After spending nearly 20 years as a Law Office Administrator, Shenandoah became unsettled by the ever-revolving door of people into the criminal justice system and set out to find a way to change it. A survivor and alumni of the foster care system, Shenandoah Chefalo is also the co-founder of the #4600andCounting, a grass-roots movement to bring awareness and change to the missing youth of foster care.  In addition to her multiple award-winning book, Garbage Bag Suitcase, she also wrote an e-book entitled Setting Your Vision and Defining Your Goals and is also working on her next manuscript, Hiking for Stillness.www.garbagebagsuitcase.com
Shenandoah Chefalo is a graduate of Michigan State University, holding a Bachelor of Arts with a Major in Interdisciplinary Studies in Social Science, a Certified Coach, and a member of the Foster Leaders Movement. She is a sought after speaker on topics surrounding youth in foster care and the science and impact of trauma and resilience on various social issues; She is also the President and Owner of Chefalo Consulting: Trauma-Informed Specialist that helps private, governmental, and public organizations implement sustainable trauma-informed strategies that are focused on learning new skills as well as organizational culture changes and shifts.  She has been featured as a consultant and trainer nationally and internationally. After spending nearly 20 years as a Law Office Administrator, Shenandoah became unsettled by the ever-revolving door of people into the criminal justice system and set out to find a way to change it. A survivor and alumni of the foster care system, Shenandoah Chefalo is also the co-founder of the #4600andCounting, a grass-roots movement to bring awareness and change to the missing youth of foster care.  In addition to her multiple award-winning book, Garbage Bag Suitcase, she also wrote an e-book entitled Setting Your Vision and Defining Your Goals and is also working on her next manuscript, Hiking for Stillness.www.garbagebagsuitcase.com
We work under the assumption that everyone is doing their very best. We know it's easy to point fingers at the foster system, the kids, the parents. If you believe that everyone is doing their best, it allows us to communicate with empathy instead of judgment. 
Beth Tyson, MA, is a psychotherapist, childhood grief and trauma expert, and a children's book author. She recently co-authored and released a new book - The Parenting Odyssey: Trials, Treasures, and Triumphs of Parenting in a Pandemic. The purpose of the book is to reduce isolation for those parenting in a pandemic by sharing heartfelt testimonials and stories from real parents. Get the bookhttp://www.bethtyson.comFacebook Group: EmotimindsIG https://www.instagram.com/bethtyson_traumacare/
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