Sexually Speaking with Shannon

In this episode, Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers, a licensed psychotherapist, best-selling author, and researcher shares her insight on shameless parenting and our ability to heal while we learn alongside our kids. Dr. Tina and I dig into how sexual shame impacts our ability to form secure attachments and relationships. She shares her experience as a professor and noticing the shift as the first wave of "purity culture" took on a different narrative that was harmful to the students she was teaching. One of my favorite books, Sex, God, and the Conservative Church: Erasing Shame from Sexual Intimacy was powerful in helping me understand how and why shame is rampant in our culture, but often hard to notice.  And she has recently another book called, Shameless Parenting: How to Raise Confident, Shame free Kids and Heal Your Own Shame Too!Dr. Sellers emphasizes the role of parents in fostering shame-free environments for their children, regardless of their family makeup. She encourages open conversations with teenagers, addressing myths and stereotypes about sex, and prioritizing connection and pleasure over obligation in relationships. Dr. Sellers emphasizes the importance of ongoing learning, dispelling myths, and staying on the path of personal growth to lead a fulfilling life.Follow Dr. Sellers on Instagram at @DrTinaShamelessIn this episode:0:02:28 Dr. Tina Shermer Sellers bio 0:08:45 Healing Through Shameless Parenting0:27:26 Importance of Social and Emotional Learning0:32:51 Parenting Insights Beyond Traditional Family Structures0:39:39 Embodying Sexuality for a Fulfilling Life0:42:13 Connect with Dr. Tina on Instagram0:42:37 Dr. Tina's Podcast EpisodesAlthough this will be my last episode, please stay in touch! Check out what I have going  on @shannonhamaker on Instagram!Also on my website: shannonhmaker.com will share the latest and greatest in my offerings through coaching and retreats. Support the show

One of the most impactful experiences you can have in strengthening your partnership is the understanding of feminine and masculine energy. Most of us understand and embody masculine energy easily without having to think about it. It is the doing, going, and moving forward that most of us learn as valuable in our culture. We learn the social construct that productivity is valued and doing comes naturally to most.But what does feminine energy look and FEEL like?My co-facilitator and friend, Amanda Curry, and I speak from our experiences of why masculine and feminine energy is a powerful concept to understand. We share our moments of learning and how we continue to lean into this concept of “being” in our feminine energy. Amanda Curry is a transformational coach for women who uses the power of somatics, inner child work, and breath to facilitate lasting change. She has been a physical therapist for 12 years and in the self-development world for 15 but only started to support deeper levels in 2020. Amanda is a wife of almost 15 years and a mother of two.Amanda and I discuss personal growth, reflection, and the importance of inner work. We explore masculine and feminine energy, challenge societal expectations, and share our personal experiences. We address the issue of female partners feeling unsupported and offer insights and suggestions. We also mention an upcoming couples retreat focused on effective communication and cultivating extraordinary relationships. Reach out to us for coaching or workshop opportunities.In this episode:0:00:39 Reflecting on growth and partnership in the healing journey0:03:10 The deeper transformation and tools in retreat work0:06:46 Embracing vulnerability and facilitating deeper reflection0:11:31 Embracing the balance of masculine and feminine energies0:13:01 Discerning aligned masculinity from wounded masculinity0:20:27 Embracing both feminine and masculine energies0:23:17 The journey of balancing feminine and masculine energies0:30:24 Couples retreat: extraordinary communication and support0:32:07 Planting seeds of curiosity and compassionSupport the show

In this episode, we explore the world of non-monogamy with Dr. Joli Hamilton, a renowned relationship coach. We discuss the reasons why some choose open relationships, different approaches to non-monogamy, managing jealousy, setting agreements, repairing relationships, and providing valuable resources for further support couples in that space.Tune in to gain insights and connect with Dr. Joli Hamilton for coaching and workshops.In this podcast episode:0:03:40 Dr. Joli's journey into the field of non-monogamy0:09:56 Navigating polyamory with care0:13:09 The two extremes of jumping into polyamory or hesitating0:15:20 The need for negotiated and consensual relationships0:17:29 Relationships require effort and willingness to embrace change0:20:28 Embracing different needs and relationship dynamics0:28:25 The complexity of envy and jealousy0:30:55 Unpacking the narrative of jealousy0:37:20 Setting boundaries and honoring agreements0:39:24 Trusting yourself and holding integrity with agreements0:41:39 Relationship check-ins and intentionality0:45:09 Consequences and planning for repair0:47:38 Graduating with a clear relationship choiceFind Dr. Joli Hamilton on:Dr. Joli Hamilton's website - https://www.jolihamilton.com/The Year Of Opening - https://theyearofopening.com/The free salon: https://openeasier.com/Support the show

In this episode, I am joined by Trauma Therapist, Mom, and fellow retreat Co-Facilitator, Heather Pincelli. We discuss our recent transformative retreat experience and the power of group work for healing. We also share personal stories and insights on patterns of behavior, triggers, and the importance of communication and self-care. In this podcast episode:0:02:44 The successful Restore for More Retreat experience!0:10:41 Heather's transformation from her younger self to present-day0:15:34 Understanding personality patterns and overwhelm0:18:23 How personality patterns affect relationships and communication0:23:01 Heather's strategic banana dilemma0:26:17 The banana incident and uncovering past trauma0:32:04 Merging pattern0:36:13 Leaving pattern 0:39:23 Enduring pattern and retreating into one's own space0:42:21 Body types and personality patterns0:44:30 Intimidation of the leaving pattern and sensitivity to conflict0:53:51 The power of stopping and breathing through challengesYou can find Heather Pincelli on:IG - @thattherapistheatherAND her new podcast, Therapy in the Wild, will be on all the platforms!Support the show

Join me  in my interview I had with Jennifer Kaylo on her podcast, The Open Bedroom (ahem, I HIGHLY recommend!) In this episode, I share my story of moving from a space of confusion, frustration, and shame to growing my confidence and curiosity.  In this podcast:03:00 - My journey09:55 - Stumbling upon a podcast about conscious uncoupling14:50 - From black and white to a colorful marriage life15:00 - Following the breadcrumbs of curiosity19:55 - The clarity of getting to know my sexual self… And knowing that I am not responsible for him, I’m just responsible to him.23:00 - The moment of awakening32:10 - Surrendering and learning to listen to your body is the best thing you can do35:00 - Midlife crisis to midlife magic39:00 - Learning about my erotic blueprint. Erotic Blueprint Quiz47:30 - My husband’s breakthrough51:10 - It all with intention, nothing is by accident54:30 - You don’t have to do it alone… Finding a community to work throughSexually Speaking podcast episode with Jen: Consciously Uncoupling with Jennifer Kaylo RuscinBooks mentioned:Come as You AreThe Power of NowWise PowerSexually WokeHow to Do The WorkFollow Jen for moreJennifer’s podcast: The Open Bedroom PodcastSupport the show

Lindsey Hall is an Intimacy and Empowerment Coach who supports women to deepen their intimacy with self & others, own their power & their pleasure, and live the joyful life they love!Lindsey spent 12 years in the world of corporate accounting where listening to your intuition and prioritizing your pleasure are not exactly encouraged, so now she is passionate about helping women bring more pleasure to their daily lives and peeling back the layers of shame and social conditioning that prevent us from living our fully empowered lives. She hates small talk and elephants in the room and much prefers to dive in deep talking about the things that are maybe scary but ultimately so important and healing to talk about!After going through her divorce during lockdown with two tiny children, she specializes in supporting women emotionally through the divorce process and beyond, including dating and co-parenting - which are both pretty big adventures!In this podcast:03:30 - Lindsey’s story10:50 - Lindsey's healing process12:30 - Learning how to step back and listen more13:00 - Support from a coach17:30 - Self-pleasure class21:00 - The BJ Class23:00 - Lindsey’s experience in divorce and dating25:00 - It’s not my job to look out for every hurt that may come26:50 - Maintaining the work Lindsay has done30:30 - Voicing my desiresLindsey's Website: Lindsey Hall Coaches Support the show

The parts of you who desire a life based in liberation, love, and leadership can find a home in Katrin’s world.Katrin is a sexual liberation mentor who has overcome painful sex and continues supporting women in releasing vaginismus's protective body response. She deeply understands how survival strategies of the mind and subtle protective mechanisms of the body can make the freedom you crave seem out of reach.She has led herself off the beaten path back to her authentic self and now helps you do the same. In sex, love, relationships, and entrepreneurship! Katrin believes that your power is born out of your deepest pain and that the Liberated & In Love Woman within you already has all the answers to guide you in your personal reclamation. She is here to love you as you re-discover your unique signature of play, pleasure, and purpose. She gently calls you into your zone of genius and lifts you up as you bravely build your legacy from that place of aliveness and erotic overflow.In this episode:01:00 - Katrin’s story08:30 - How does Katrin support people who are also going through painful sex11:00 -  Why we should stop using the term sexual dysfunction 16:00 - Treating vaginismus19:00 - The Erotic Blueprints23:00 - Vaginismus is a defense response24:00 - How to practice surrendering in the bedroom28:00 - The physical healing journey33:00 - The show - Sex, Love, and Goop39:00 - Why people may experience vaginismus44:00 - Trauma and vaginismus47:00 - Katrin’s free course about vaginismus48:00 - Katrin’s life after vaginismusKatrin’s free course - Putting Vaginismus in the Past - https://www.katrinwithlove.com/Get your erotic blueprint at: https://missjaiya.com/Support the show

I’d like you all to welcome my new friend Emily Sabo! Emily Sabo is a linguist, a Ph.D. speaker, a TEDx speaker, a dancer, a choreographer, and the CEO of Full Body Feels, a feel-good dance fitness company.Originally from Pittsburgh, we are so lucky to have Emily now in Knoxville, Tennessee, and she's here to celebrate feminine energy through dance, yoga, and community.Hear her story on how she came full circle in using dance as medicine and why she thinks others should too! In this podcast episode:02:30 - What did life look like for Emily before Full Body Feels?12:00 - How many languages does she speak?!15:00 - Emily’s mental health experiences26:00 - Where the magic happens to learn about your body28:00 - Emily’s relationship with her husband and the biggest change in her life34:00 - Movement meditation with EmilyVisit Emily on:emilysabo.comFollow on IG: @fullbodyfeelsSupport the show

My guests today are Dr. Glenn and Phyllis Hill, who spent the first 30 years of their marriage living in disconnect. Their first sexual experience sent them into years of avoidance and pain. Dr. Glenn was determined to find out what went wrong so he went back to school and became a marriage and family therapist and a clinical sexologist. But it wasn't until he dug deep into emotional regulation that he discovered the source of all of their disconnect. On the other side of the pain that they went through, Dr. Glenn and Phyllis created the Connection Codes,  a framework to help couples connect emotionally and physically using their four-minute tool. Now they are authors, speakers, and have connection coders in over 50 countries who are living in peace in their relationships. I hope you all enjoy this beautiful story as much as I did! In this episode:01:00 - Dr. Glenn and Phyllis’ story05:00 - A traumatic and disappointing first sexual experience10:30 - We may think other couples are doing great20:50 - A couple's pivotal moment: a comment about unloading the dishwasher leads to the discovery26:00 - Tools or books Dr. Glenn and Phyllis read to improve their intimacy?33:00 - The Core Emotion WheelOn Instagram: @Connectioncodes        Go to the website: connectioncodes.co/shannonUse code: SHANNON20 for 20% off our Foundations courseSupport the show

Everyone meet my BA friend, Jesse Akister! Jess shares her journey of understanding her body, mind, and soul. She highlights how our body responds to stress and trauma and how it can manifest in our daily lives, even in our relationships. Jesse is the Co-founder and COO of Sherolife, the first women’s holistic fitness community in UAE founded in Dubai in 2019. She is also a multi-awarded athlete in CrossFit and Powerlifting.In this episode:01:40 - CrossFit and Powerlifter Jesse04:50 - Jesse's life before 11:20 - Jesse's relationships during training14:00 - The Polyvagal theory19:30 - Jesse's training applying polyvagal theory29:00 - Jesse uncovering her desires  31:00 - The Will Want Won't list34:00 - Other material resources 38:00 - Breaking down feminine and masculine energy 43:00 - Tips on meditating 47:50 - Listener's takeawayFind Jesse on IG: @jesseakisterSherolife Offerings: @thesherolifeSupport the show

After a couple of years of feeling like a fan girl trying to connect with Whitni Miller, aka BDE.Moves, I finally got to talk with her! Whitni is an amazing human who is creating sexy content with tangible tools for all people to implement! Whitni Miller is a Pleasure Coach and Sex Educator. She loves to create direct, assuring, shame-free sex education content on TikTok, Instagram, and Patreon. She also works with clients 1:1 and in couples setting to help them obtain their pleasure goals.She is very passionate about pleasure-based sex in our performance mindset world!In this episode:02:10 - How did Whitni get into sex education?09:00 - Encouraging exploring pleasure for women09:30 - Top 3 reasons why couples stop having sex12:00 - Patriarchy is bad for both men and women14:40 - Unlearning ‘performance-based’ mindset in sex18:00 - Changing the way you self-pleasure can change the way you have sex22:00 - Being intentional in sex and self-pleasure25:00 - Definition of sex for Whitni29:00 - Whitni's Patreon (You must check it out!)  Find Whitni on Instagram @bde.moves Patreon: bdemovesSupport the show

Have you found yourself in the same patterns of behavior or frustration and ever wondered, "WHY AM I HERE AGAIN?!" My guest for this conversation can help you uncover the answer to that question! Anat Peri is an Inner Child Expert, Somatic Coach, and the Founder of Training Camp for the Soul™. (Yes, the retreat that Steve attended 2 years ago that I have mentioned in several episodes!) For over 7 yrs she’s guided her clients through the process of mastering the wisdom of their bodies and emotions to choose to live the life they desire with ease, instead of force and sacrifice.With 18 years of experience in developmental work and years of study as a trauma-informed coach, Anat has combined mindset, somatic healing, and inner child re-parenting to create Training Camp for the Soul Method™.Anat considers it her mission to help people thrive, live a life where they feel connected and safe within and with others, and reclaim their power to be the creators of their reality.She has guided hundreds through the TCS™ Method. Marriages, books, businesses, fulfilling lives, and babies have all been created by her clients working with her.In this episode:05:40 - What is Training Camp for the Soul?06:50 - You are the Director of your movie, you can edit the script08:40 - How the inherited script affects your sexuality and intimacy19:00 - What it means to be "hijacked" into a role22:40 - What did healing look like for Anat?30:00 - Building sexual energy in self 30:45 - Grieve the thought of fears coming true36:00 - Your relationship is like a garden40:00 - More about Anat's programs and the TCS retreat46:36 - The way that therapy, coaching, and retreats play in self-development49:40 - Practicing gratitude and humilityYou can find Anat here:Instagram: @anat.periJoin us at the retreat in June here:trainingcampforthesoul.com/retreatUse the code "friendsandfamily" for a discountSupport the show

Breaking up is hard to do, but it can be done with love, respect, and dignity. Jennifer Kaylor Ruscin helps you create a breakup that leaves you and your partner feeling good, where you're both excited about the next phase of your lives.Jennifer is a mom to 2 teenage boys, partner to Scott, multi-million dollar revenue generator of a sales & marketing firm, podcast host, & sex and relationship coach.In this podcast episode:03:00 - What is conscious uncoupling?06:00 - Jen's experience with conscious uncoupling10:30 - Doing things differently while practicing conscious uncoupling12:00 - What kind of emotional support did Jen get when she was having the divorce from her husband?13:40 - How Jen found her second husband19:30 - Conscious uncoupling on an emotional scale25:00 - How do you tell to the kids?31:40 - Additional resources about conscious uncoupling34:00 - If you are thinking about breaking up with your partnerSupport the show

We have Leighanna Nordstrom back by popular demand! Today we are talking about a very controversial and complicated topic - affairs. More specifically, why do they happen, and how do you move toward healing and repair? Leighanna is the owner of Break the Mold Therapy, a virtual private practice in Colorado. She is a relationship and sex therapist who specializes in betrayal repairs, kink/BDSM, non-monogamy, and queer issues. Her goal is to help people unlearn problematic beliefs, values, and patterns by exploring the truths around sex positivity and wellness in a safe and non-judgmental way.If you have friends or loved ones facing this challenge, please share this episode!In this podcast episode:03:00 - What is an affair?04:50 - What causes an affair? 11:30 - What leads someone to have an affair?14:00 - What Affair Repair looks like18:30 - Practicing relationships is practicing communication20:30 - 5 major Don'ts after an affair29:00 - Nobody knows enough to pass judgment35:00 - Your pleasure is your responsibility37:00 - Steps to recovering from an affair43:00 - Top 5 Do's in Affair Repair58:00 - The last powerful takeaway01:00:30 - Leighanna's programsYou can reach Leighanna Nordstrom on:www.breakthemoldtherapy.comSupport the show

Shhhh....your body is speaking to you! What is your internal wisdom saying?! My friend, Bonnie Casamassima is going to help us understand how our intuition can help us connect to our desires and unleash more passion and pleasure!Bonnie is a researcher, professor, and highly sensitive intuitive empath. You know that song, “I’m a little bit country AND A Little Bit Rock+Roll?” Well, “She is a little bit Researcher AND a little bit woo”.She gives 110% in supporting the people she works with every day in connecting with their own intuition through research, mediumship channeling, and consulting on the psychology of the design of their everyday spaces.She has a Bachelor of Science in Interior Design from The University of Tennessee at Knoxville. She also has a Master of Fine Arts in Interior Design focusing on Environmental Psychology and Biophilic Design from Savannah College of Art and Design where she taught Graduate students. Additionally, she has completed two 500+ hour trainings honing her highly sensitive intuitive mediumship abilities. Bonnie is an amazing human being and I cannot wait for you to hear from her! In this podcast episode:05:50 - The New Year, New Moon experience08:00 - What was Bonnie’s life before she started listening to her intuition and prioritizing play, pleasure, and sexuality12:00 - Bonnie on spreadsheet decisions 15:30 - Tuning in on your body’s intuition and developing self-trust19:00 - Bonnie in the bedroom before20:30 - Listening to your intuition26:00 - Calming your mind and connecting to your intuition34:00 - Being your most authentic self37:00 - Bonnie's life now41:30 - Connecting with your partner43:00 - Bonnie’s programsYou can find Bonnie at:intuitivebynature.comFollow her on IG @intuitive_by_nature         Follow Shannon HEREFollow her on IG @shannonhamaker                      Join the Couples Collective here.Support the show

Steve is back! We break down our Top 5 celebrations from 2022 and what we are leaving behind. In an effort to help others we share what worked for us in creating a stronger, more connected partnership. YAYS (What are we celebrating?)Commitment to Personal GrowthRelationship Check-In’s Couples RetreatsCouples Mastermind Thrive Couples ClassIn this podcast episode:01:10 - The podcasts we listen to and fuel our journey01:50 - #1 Continual commitment to personal growth02:50 - Steve’s personal growth journey05:00 - Guilt in doing or buying stuff for yourself15:10 - #2 Consistent relationship check-ins21:00 - Relationship check-ins on the fly28:00 - #3 The couple’s retreats33:40 - #4 The couple’s masterminds36:20 - Family constellation41:30 - The Couple’s Collective at the beginning of FebruaryJoin the Couple’s Collective here: https://bit.ly/CouplesCollectiveWork with Shannon! Shannonhamaker.comSupport the show

In our first episode of the year, I have my friend Amanda Curry who will be co-facilitating a women's retreat with me in April with me. I am so honored that she will be joining me and I cannot wait for you to hear her powerful story of transformation and healing.Amanda Curry is a trauma-informed Doctor of Physical Therapy, Certified Oncology Specialist, Training Camp for the Soul™ Master FacilitatorAmanda has a fierce commitment to supporting those who struggle with feeling they are “ too much” and are tired of living in shame and denial of their true essence.In this podcast episode:04:20 - Amanda’s experience at the Training Camp for the Soul07:40 - Amanda and Steve parallels09:50 - What did Amanda’s relationship look like before healing15:00 - The before and after of working with a sex coach24:30 - Amanda’s ways regulate her nervous system31:00 - Supporting her husband and the men in her life41:30 - Why community is essential and how you can find community- Find Amanda at @somaticdpt on Instagram - Check out Training Camp for the Soul here: https://trainingcampforthesoul.com/- Women's Retreat in April Support the show

Please welcome, Caroline Burkholder, MS, RD, LD, a registered dietitian nutritionist in Knoxville, TN. She is the owner of RootED Nutrition and Counseling.We cover the topics of intuitive eating, recovering your relationship with food, how to model a positive relationship with food to your kids, and how intuitive eating teCaroline became interested in nutrition counseling when she was a collegiate athlete, and her coach consistently shared scientifically unfounded messages about how to fuel for sport. Most of these messages actually encouraged restrictive and disordered tendencies. It became clear to Caroline how important it was for female athletes to have empirically founded nutrition information delivered in a safe and nurturing format. Caroline continues to participate in athletics; she is a mountain biker and an endurance runner. Her practice is heavily informed by her lived experience as an athlete.In this podcast episode:01:35 - Caroline’s story on how she got into nutrition counseling06:00 - Recovering your relationship with food08:30 - How to model a positive relationship with food to your kids13:00 - Caroline’s relationship with food before16:50 - What is intuitive eating and how do you practice it?23:00 - Keeping a food journal28:00 - Letting go and accepting that your body’s going to change33:00 - You are allowed to gain weight37:00 - Finding your middle39:00 - The enneagramYou can find Caroline at:https://www.rootednutritionandcounseling.com/Instagram at @root_ednutritionSupport the show

Have you had a lingering sense that you are different than other women? Do you feel like you start projects with full force, only to fizzle out and not complete it? Does your partner get frustrated when you can't find your keys or you get distracted during s*x? Have a listen! Linda is going to share some incredible insight from her lived experience of being diagnosed with ADHD in mid-life. She also shares the superpowers it has given her and how we can look at the benefits of having this neurodiversity, as challenging as it can be! Linda Roggli is a Professional Certified Coach (PCC), an award-winning author, and founder of the A-D-Diva Network for ADHD women 40-and-better. She is recognized internationally as an expert in midlife and senior ADHD. She created the ADHD Palooza series which now includes ADHD Women, ADHD Parents, and ADHD Couples. She regularly hosts workshops, organizing groups and retreats for ADHD women.Linda’s book Confessions of an ADDiva-midlife in the non-linear lane won first prize for women’s issues in the prestigious Next Generation Indy Book Awards competition. Order an autographed copy at http://shopaddiva.comIs there an offer you would like to give the listeners? : Free download from the ADHD Couples' PaloozaWhere can they find you to get in touch?: http://addiva.net and http://adhdpalooza.comIn this podcast episode:02:30 - Linda’s story - how she discovered ADHD05:30 - What helps our neurons make connections08:30 - Linda’s superpower as a woman with ADHD14:30 - How can we be good role models to our kids in taking care of ourselves as parents with ADHD22:30 - ADHD, impulsivity, intimacy, and your relationships38:00 - The impostor syndrome41:30 - The Couple’s Palooza45:30 - Where do you go if you think you have ADHD?You can find Linda Rogley on:https://addiva.net/Resources:Book: Driven To DistractionSupport the show

If you are here for a comprehensive checklist of all the ways you can get through menopause unscathed by all the dreaded symptoms you have heard about…I hate to break it to you, you won’t find that here. But I have some more exciting news for you….  when you listen to this episode with curiosity and an open mind and heart, you may find that you feel empowered and dare I say excited about this transitional time in your life. Especially when you hear this conversation with Alexandra and Sjanie, co-founders of the Red School. Alexandra and Sjanie are also the co-authors of the iconic and celebrated book from Hay House, Wild Power: discover the magic of the menstrual cycle and awaken the feminine path to power and they just released their latest book Wise Power: Discover the liberating power of menopause to awaken authority, purpose, and belonging.They are pioneering the newly emerging field of menstruality, creating a new lexicon and approach to women’s health and well-being; creativity and leadership; and spiritual life based on the power of our menstruality consciousness. Between them, they bring over 45 years of experience. And today they teach worldwide on the psycho-spiritual process of maturation that unfolds from menarche to menopause and beyond. They’re committed to training the menstruality leaders of the future.www.redschool.netAnd our 6 week live online menopause course, which starts on November 2nd is Menopause: The Great Awakener www.redschoolmenopause.comThank you so much for listening! Share the love by sharing the podcast! And share your reviews and comments on the platform you listened to this episode on. If you would like to contact me about upcoming coaching, workshops, or transformative retreats, you can go to my website at ShannonHamaker.com This episode was edited by Travis Tench at Oak Hill Audio and scored using musing by his band Tinca Tinca. Support the show