An Atheist Reads the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous
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© Josh
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My name is Josh C and I am an alcoholic in a 12 step program of recovery. I am also an atheist and have found some recovery programs challenging. In this podcast I read the original text of the AA big book and try to understand the god stuff from an atheist perspective. I also explore other forms of recovery as I load my toolbox with everything I can to keep sober one more day. I hope this podcast helps you do the same. Connect with me on FB at An Atheist Reads the Big Book of AA or via email at oneatheistinaa@gmail.com
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Welcome to An Atheist Reads the Big Book of AA Episode 31! In this episode I cover step twelve: Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs AND tradition twelve: Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities. I also talk about the future of the podcast.
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Welcome to An Atheist Reads the Big Book of AA Episode 30! In this episode I cover step eleven: Sought through prayer and medication to improve our conscious contact with god as we understood him, praying only for knowledge of his will for us and the power to carry that out AND tradition eleven: Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio. and films. I also talk about dealing with feelings of violence in the face of a troll.
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Welcome to An Atheist Reads the Big Book of AA Episode 29! In this episode I cover step ten: Continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong promptly admitted it AND tradition ten: Alcoholics Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the AA name ought never be drawn into public controversy. The stoic ready does a great job leading into these two by bringing up the concept of living outside of the feelings of anger and hate. This is further explored by looking at emotions as the chemicals they are and how important regulation is over supression.
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Welcome to An Atheist Reads the Big Book of AA Episode 28! In this episode I cover step nine: made direct amends to such people wherever possible, expect when to do so would injure them or others AND tradition nine: AA, as such, ought never be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve. This rounds out the last of the action steps before getting into the maintenance portion of the program of AA. For me this was the most difficult to digest but over time I have learned that this step can be taken in smaller chunks and with the right guidance has done more to help me in the long run than many of the ones before it.
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Welcome to An Atheist Reads the Big Book of AA Episode 27! In this episode I cover step eight: made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. And tradition eight: Alcoholics Anonymous should remain forever non-professional, but our service centers may employ special workers. The stoic reading reminds us to try and find beauty in the smallest and simplest of places.
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Welcome to An Atheist Reads the Big Book of AA Episode 26! In this episode I cover step seven: Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings and tradition seven: Every A.A. group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions. Both steps come from a place of humility but step seven takes a little digging to get to the meat of it.
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Welcome to An Atheist Reads the Big Book of AA Episode 25! In this episode I cover the 6th Step: Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. While god isn't necessary, coming to terms with the need to remove attachments to personal traits that are causing harm is. The 6th tradition keeps AA from becoming a sellable brand that, at one point, was almost slapped on educational pamphlets put out by big alcohol. Despite the episode coming out on the 4th I choose to read January 1st from the Daily Stoic to commemorate the start of a new year.
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Welcome to An Atheist Reads the Big Book of AA Episode 24! In this episode I cover the 5th Step of the traditional steps: Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. While myself, and may like me, may choose to omit the notion of god from this step, I feel it is a powerful process to share what came from the 4th step with another human. More importantly is the process of being honest with ourselves as objectively as possible. Tradition 5: Each group has but one primary purpose - to carry its message to the alcoholic who still suffers. Many have used this step as a reason to bar people from sharing about drugs in meetings and I think it's missing the point to do so. This tradition has kept money seeking and other forms of corruptible behavior out of the groups.
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Welcome to An Atheist Reads the Big Book of AA Episode 23! In this episode I cover the 4th Step of the traditional steps. Of all the steps in AA program this step remains, to many, the most difficult and the most important. While the steps have been translated and transposed to fit all sorts of different programs and beliefs Step 4 remains largely unchanged. Tradition 4 encourages meetings to be their own thing - within reason and while supporting AA as a whole. This has helped keep AA versatile and adaptable over time.
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Welcome to An Atheist Reads the Big Book of AA Episode 22! In this episode I cover the 3rd step: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. This step can be a sticking point for a lot of folks, believer or non, and I hope I'm able to unpack it in a way that people can approach this a little differently. Tradition 3, however, is one of the most important tradition to maintain the integrity of the AA program and its meeting spaces. It also has a lot to do with the inclusive nature that AA is supposed to uphold. While true, this chapter has some rough spots that I take issue with.
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Welcome to An Atheist Reads the Big Book of AA Episode 21! In this episode I cover the 2nd step from the 12 X 12: Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. To many (myself included) this can be a loaded step but I offer a different approach. I also cover the 2nd tradition: For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority - a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern. This step seems to leave little room for the atheist or non-believer but the work seems to be in the last sentence. It also seems to be the start of the glue that helps hold the fellowship together. Do you find these to be difficult to accept?
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Welcome to An Atheist Reads the Big Book of AA Episode 20! In this episode I begin the journey of going through the 12 X 12. I will be covering each step and each corresponding tradition to further explore the meat of the AA program: the 12 steps and 12 traditions. It has been a long time since I've read this book and I'm exciting to cover what is inside.
In this day's stoic reading I talk about what it means to live inside reason and the flow of reason.
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Welcome to An Atheist Reads the Big Book of AA Episode 19! Before transitioning into reading from the 12 X 12 and onto the next phase of what this podcast has become I have decided to take a small intermission and read a letter that Bill Wilson wrote to a friend who was suffering from depression. Bill himself had quite the battle with depression and his way of managing that was to work with others. The letter reveals more about Bill's personal struggles with not only depression but with his place in AA and recovery in general. It is a fantastic way to move towards the 12 X 12 (another piece of work that was the result of Bill working through one of his depression bouts).
The stoic reading mirrors some of the message in this letter by asking that we don't harbor attachments as this removes our reasoned choice.
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Welcome to An Atheist Reads the Big Book of AA Episode 18! We did it! We finished the damn thing! The first 164 pages are in the can and it's time to consider the next phase. For some folks this may mean the end of the road and I'm grateful you have made it this far in the journey. For others it means coming along on wherever this path is going to take us. For now, we wrap things up and put a fork in the Big Books of Alcoholics Anonymous. Thank you for all the support!
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Welcome to An Atheist Reads the Big Book of AA Episode Sixteen! In this episode I finish the chapter To Employers. This is easily one of the weirdest chapters in the book but also has some interesting history. While much of the book is attributed to Bill Wilson this chapter was for sure written by Hank Parkhurst and is seen by some as a true indicator that much of the first 164 pages are now outdated. I'm inclined to agree.
What does it mean to you to be prepared but to be ready to accept any outcome, even it isn't the one planned for?
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Welcome to An Atheist Reads the Big Book of AA Episode Thirteen! In this episode I go over the chapter To Wives. I also talk about a recent break up and how that is affecting my sobriety. This fits well with the Stoic reading which makes the claim that if you want to be loved then you should love. Have you been through a break up in sobriety? How did that go?
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Welcome to An Atheist Reads the Big Book of AA Episode Twelve! In this episode I finish off Working With Others in the Big Book of AA. Words have a lot of power. They can do a lot of harm and they can do a lot of good. They can inspire and they can bring someone down. Some things just simply can't be unsaid. And somethings that are said can leave an imprint in others that lasts decades. How are you using your words?
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Welcome to An Atheist Reads the Big Book of AA Episode Eleven! This episode kicks off Working With Others. There's a reason that the 12th step gets its own chapter and for me it is because this step is really the back bone of what makes AA work. Giving away this recovery thing - not just to other alcoholics that may need to find their way to recovery (even if that isn't AA) but to those around me in every day life. I carry this new, better me in all my affairs. In this episode I also talk about control and what it means to refocus what that really means in my life. Being in control of what I put out in the world is the only real control I should be putting energy into.
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Welcome to An Atheist Reads the Big Book of AA Episode Ten! This episode finishes off the chapter Into Action of the big book of AA. Before getting to that I discuss gatekeeping in AA online communities and ways to combat that. Have you felt like you weren't able to share your truth in certain AA communities? What communities have worked for you?
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Welcome to An Atheist Reads the Big Book of AA Episode Eight! In this episode I will be reading How It Works from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. In traditional and non-traditional meetings alike there are typically readings and rituals that start the meetings off. In most traditional meetings they read from this chapter and cover the 12 steps all in one shot. Is there value in these rituals or should AA move past them? What are the 12 steps and what value do they have in modern recovery?
I talk a bit about sponsorship and it's importance in my recovery. After 2.5 years with my sponsor I found myself in a position to need to ask someone new to take on the role. How do you view sponsorship?
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