Proxy with Yowei Shaw

At the heart of many family estrangements lies a mystery. Adult kids insist they’ve told their parents why they’re walking away, while parents say they don’t understand. Why is it sometimes so hard for parents to hear their kids? And how to get through?From the episode:  Learn more about Becca Bland and her work with families and people surviving estrangement Learn more about Joshua Coleman, subscribe to his newsletter Family Troubles, and read his book New Rules of Estrangement Learn more about reporter Kim Nederveen Pieterse This is a special membership campaign episode! Help us get to 1500 paying Patreon members by Oct. 9th to cover the costs of making another year of emotional investigative journalism! Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely mostly on listeners. To support emotional investigative journalism™️ and help the show keep going, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You’ll get exclusive premium episodes, ad-free episodes, and access to the chat. To just get our newsletter, join our Patreon for free.Follow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishawGet in touch at proxythepod@gmail.com

The case of the mom who doesn’t understand, and the daughter who’s done explaining.From the episode:  Learn more about Chess Dugas, subscribe to her YouTube channel The Scapegoat Club, and follow her on TikTok Learn more about Joshua Coleman, subscribe to his newsletter Family Troubles, and read his book New Rules of Estrangement Learn more about reporter Kim Nederveen Pieterse Help us get to 1500 paying Patreon members by Oct. 9th to cover the costs of making another year of emotional investigative journalism!Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely mostly on listeners. To support emotional investigative journalism™️ and help the show keep going, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You’ll get exclusive premium episodes, ad-free episodes, and access to the chat. To just get our newsletter, join our Patreon for free.Follow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishawGet in touch at proxythepod@gmail.com

Alex used to host a huge podcast (Reply All). He now makes a new independent show called Hyperfixed. He loves making it. Only problem is, Alex now has to ask for money all the time to survive, which he hates doing.From the episode:  Listen to Alex Goldman's new podcast Hyperfixed Learn more about Haley Bash and Donor Organizer Hub, a support network for people who fundraise for under-resourced causes The Accidental Fundraiser, Haley's step-by-step guide to raising money for your cause Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely mostly on listeners. To support emotional investigative journalism™️ and help the show keep going, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You’ll get exclusive premium episodes, ad-free episodes, and access to the chat. To just get our newsletter, join our Patreon for free.Help us get to 1500 Patreon members this month, to cover the costs of making another year of emotional investigative journalism! https://www.patreon.com/ProxyPodcastFollow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishawGet in touch at proxythepod@gmail.com

Ever since the election, Sandy Ernest Allen has been clocking a strange silence from cis people about trans rights. So Sandy reached into the void to hear what the silence had to say.From the episode:  Learn more about Sandy Ernest Allen and his work Sandy's newsletter What's Helping Today For suggestions on how to support trans people, read"To Cis People Who Feel Despair" Follow Sandy on Bluesky @sandyernestallen and see the post Support Sandy's writing with a tip: https://buymeacoffee.com/sandyallen Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely mostly on listeners. To support emotional investigative journalism™️ and help the show keep going, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You’ll get exclusive premium episodes, ad-free episodes, and access to the chat. To just get our newsletter, join our Patreon for free.Follow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishawGet in touch at proxythepod@gmail.com

Anya Kamenetz was having trouble coping with the state of the world. So she decided to report on those feelings. In this conversation, Anya shares what she learned from talking to scientists, activists, and thinkers about our collective emotions - why we feel the things we do, the limits of those feelings, and how to move through them to take action. From the episode:  Learn more about Anya Kamenetz and her work Read Anya's newsletter The Golden Hour Listen to We Are the Great Turning, a podcast Anya produced with eco-spiritual teacher Joanna Macy about love, courage, and connection in the climate crisis Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely mostly on listeners. To support emotional investigative journalism™️ and help the show keep going, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You’ll get ad-free episodes, access to the chat, and exclusive premium episodes, like this extended conversation with Anya Kamenetz. To just get our newsletter, join our Patreon for free.Follow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishawGet in touch at proxythepod@gmail.com

A conversation with Dr. Alissa Ackerman about her restorative justice work on the frontlines of Me Too, using proxy-like conversations. This is a Patreon exclusive premium episode we're releasing on the main feed. If you want to hear more conversations like this, consider joining our Patreon, starting at $5 a month.Proxy is an independent podcast and we mostly rely on listeners. When you become a Patreon member, you'll get exclusive premium episodes, ad-free episodes, and access to the chat. To just get our newsletter, become join our Patreon for free.From the episode:  Learn more about Dr. Alissa Ackerman and her organization Ampersands Restorative Justice Read Alissa's book Healing from Sexual Violence: The Case for Vicarious Restorative Justice Follow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishawGet in touch at proxythepod@gmail.com

The case of the people person who fell out of love with people. From the episode:  Learn more about Zakiya Gibbons Follow Zakiya on Instagram @zak_sauce Learn more about Dr. William Chopik and his research Follow Bill on Bluesky @Chops310 or X @Chops310 To hear Zakiya get more help on her conundrum and learn about the science of intuition, check out her Science of Happiness podcast episode coming this Thursday. On Science of Happiness, U.C. Berkeley psychologist Dr. Dacher Keltner invites a guest to try a research-backed practice shown to boost emotional well being, improve relationships, promote compassion or reduce stress.  Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely mostly on listeners. To support emotional investigative journalism™️ and help the show keep going, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You’ll get exclusive premium episodes, ad-free episodes, and access to the chat. To just get our newsletter, join our Patreon for free.Follow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishawGet in touch at proxythepod@gmail.com

Yowei doesn't have an internal narrator telling stories about her life - at least a voice she can hear in her head. She talks to psychology professor Jonathan Adler about what this means and what anyone can do to strengthen their self-narrator, if they wanted to. To listen to the full exclusive premium episode, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You’ll get ad-free episodes, exclusive premium episodes, access to the chat, and other goodies. To just get our newsletter, join our Patreon for free.From the episode:  Learn more about Jonathan Adler's work Follow Jonathan on X @JonathanMAdler, Bluesky @jadler.bsky.social, and LinkedIn Follow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishawGet in touch at proxythepod@gmail.com

The case of Amanda, a writer whose internal monologue won't stop narrating her life, instead of just letting her live it.From the episode:  Read Amanda Montell's books The Age of Magical Overthinking, Cultish, and Wordslut Listen to Amanda's podcasts Magical Overthinkers and Sounds Like a Cult Follow Amanda on Instagram @amanda_montell Learn more about Jonathan Adler's work Follow Jonathan on X @JonathanMAdler, Bluesky @jadler.bsky.social, and LinkedIn Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely mostly on listeners. To support emotional investigative journalism™️ and help the show keep going, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You’ll get exclusive premium episodes, ad-free episodes, and access to the chat. To just get our newsletter, join our Patreon for free.Follow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishawGet in touch at proxythepod@gmail.com

When someone with Alzheimer's gets upset about something that isn't actually happening, it can be easy to dismiss their feelings. But what if we approached those feelings not as problems to get rid of, but mysteries to solve? Psychologist Claudia Drossel unpacks the feelings of people with Alzheimer's and how to decode them to use as a guide to give better care.To listen to the full exclusive premium episode, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You’ll get ad-free episodes, exclusive premium episodes, access to the chat, and other goodies. To just get our newsletter, join our Patreon for free.From the episode:  Learn more about Claudia Drossel's work at Eastern Michigan University Caregiving resources from Claudia Follow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishawGet in touch at proxythepod@gmail.com

The case of Brian, a journalist whose mother-in-law has Alzheimer's. Even though Brian knows she can’t help misremembering things, he can’t stop losing his patience with her, and with himself. From the episode:  Listen to Brian Reed's podcast Question Everything Follow Brian on Instagram @brihreed and X @BriHReed Caregiving resources from Claudia Drossel Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely mostly on listeners. To support emotional investigative journalism™️ and help the show keep going, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You’ll get exclusive premium episodes, ad-free episodes, and access to the chat. To just get our newsletter, join our Patreon for free.Follow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishawGet in touch at proxythepod@gmail.com

The case of Evan and Chris, best friends who love playing music together. But after the band suffers a terrible tragedy, they find themselves unable to regain their momentum. We pair them up with another musician who’s all too familiar with the neverending drama that comes with being in a band with friends. From the episode:  Listen to The Superweaks and the single "Blindside" from their new record The Superweaks Superweekly Supercast episode where Yowei stumbles into the case Follow them on Instagram @thesuperweaks Read Ryan Dusick's memoir Harder to Breathe: A Memoir of Making Maroon, Losing It All, and Finding Recovery Learn more about Ryan and follow him on Instagram @ryan_michael_dusick Listen to The Harder To Breathe Podcast  The Music Industry Therapist Collective Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely mostly on listeners. To support emotional investigative journalism™️ and help the show keep going, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You’ll get exclusive premium episodes, ad-free episodes, and access to the chat. To just get our newsletter, join our Patreon for free.Follow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishawGet in touch at proxythepod@gmail.com

For a long time, Yowei saw her introversion as a character flaw to fix. She gets advice from comedian (and fellow introvert) Aparna Nancherla about how to stop wishing for personality puberty to hit.From the episode:  Read Aparna's book Unreliable Narrator: Me, Myself, and Imposter Syndrome Learn more about Aparna Follow her on Instagram @aparnapkin Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking, by Susan Cain Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely mostly on listeners. To support emotional investigative journalism™️ and help the show keep going, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You’ll get exclusive premium episodes, ad-free episodes, and access to the chat. To just get our newsletter, join our Patreon for free.Follow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishawGet in touch at proxythepod@gmail.com

The case of Mic, who feels like he defied his fate and now has no purpose in life. We find someone uniquely able to help him break out of his regret loop. From the episode:  Follow Mic Nguyen on Instagram @nicepantsbro and subscribe to his podcast Asian Not Asian Read Amy Summerville's paper, one of the most cited articles on regret Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely mostly on listeners. To support emotional investigative journalism™️ and help the show keep going, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You’ll get exclusive premium episodes, ad-free episodes, and access to the chat. To just get our newsletter, join our Patreon for free.Follow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishawGet in touch at proxythepod@gmail.com

The case of George, the bisexual wife guy who got dumped. In this episode, we find a proxy to stand in for a listener's ex - another queer woman who left her straight relationship. From the episode:  Listen to Hanna’s podcasts Radio Atlantic and Chutzpod! Follow her on X @hannarosin and Instagram @hannarosin Our Path, a listener-recommended support group for for straight partners of LGBTQ+ folks Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely mostly on listeners. To support emotional investigative journalism™️ and help the show keep going, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You’ll get exclusive premium episodes, ad-free episodes, and access to the chat. To just get our newsletter, join our Patreon for free.Follow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishawGet in touch at proxythepod@gmail.com

Yowei shares exciting show news and goes on a self-delusion bender with the team at Proxy HQ. Is she being delusional? Or is delusion just necessary for starting any new project?From the episode:  Useful Delusions: The Power & Paradox of the Self-Deceiving Brain, by Shankar Vedantam Radiotopia from PRX Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely mostly on listeners. To support emotional investigative journalism™️ and help the show keep going, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You’ll get exclusive premium episodes, ad-free episodes, and access to the chat. To just get our newsletter, join our Patreon for free.Follow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishawGet in touch at proxythepod@gmail.com

The story of someone who suffered alone in secret for 8 years with a problem he was too afraid to Google -  and then he stumbled into a support group. In this episode, we dive into the emotional dynamics of support groups with Jason Yu. Why did support groups help him, when nothing else did? From the episode:  Listen to Jason Yu's podcast Fidget Follow Fidget on Instagram @fidgetpodcast The TLC Foundation, an organization for body-focused repetitive behaviors Jason's book recs for learning how to build community: The Art of Gathering and How We Show Up Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely mostly on listeners. To support emotional investigative journalism™️ and help the show keep going, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You’ll get exclusive premium episodes, ad-free episodes, and access to the chat. To just get our newsletter, join our Patreon for free.Follow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishawGet in touch at proxythepod@gmail.com

Whoever wins the election, Americans will still want to rip each other's heads off. Social psychologist Jay Van Bavel helps us understand why we should care about polarization, how we got here, and what, if anything, we can do about it.  From the episode:  Jay Van Bavel's book The Power of Us: Harnessing Our Shared Identities to Improve Performance, Increase Cooperation, and Promote Social Harmony The paper on political sectarianism Jay co-wrote Find out more about Jay Van Bavel and his work Follow Jay on X and Instagram: @jayvanbavel Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely mostly on listeners. To support emotional investigative journalism™️ and help the show keep going, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You’ll get exclusive premium episodes, ad-free episodes, and access to the chat. To just get our newsletter, join our Patreon for free.Follow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishawGet in touch at proxythepod@gmail.com

We all know that moment - when you feel like you need to cry in front of other people, but don't want to cry. In this episode, Yowei talks to Heather Christle, the author of The Crying Book, to parse what’s happening in that moment, what tears are saying and how we should respond to them.  From the episode: Heather Christle's The Crying Book Heather's new book In the Rhododendrums: A Memoir with Appearances by Virginia Wolf Follow Heather on  X and Instagram@heatherchristle The Thai Life Insurance commercial from our crying experiment Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely mostly on listeners. To support emotional investigative journalism™️ and help the show keep going, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You’ll get exclusive premium episodes, ad-free episodes, and access to the chat. To just get our newsletter, join our Patreon for free.Follow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishawGet in touch at proxythepod@gmail.com

Finally, a campaign reveal. Did we get additional funding to hire Kim for more hours? Plus, some updates for what’s in store for Proxy. Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely mostly on listeners. To support emotional investigative journalism™️ and help the show keep going, consider joining our Patreon starting at $5 a month. You’ll get exclusive premium episodes, ad-free episodes, and access to the chat. To just get our newsletter, join our Patreon for free.Follow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishawGet in touch at proxythepod@gmail.com