Paternal

When do we get to the point in life when we begin to lose just as often as we win? Career restarts, divorces, the death of a parent, the loss of a friend? For Chris Jones it all began roughly a decade ago, when he discovered his wife's romantic texts with his close male friend, and his marriage ended abruptly with a single sentence: "I saw it all. I'm done." That moment led Jones - an award-winning writer for Esquire, The Atlantic and ESPN - into a new phase of his life, when introspection, vulnerability, and love for a blue collar English soccer team gave him perspective on what it means to win and lose in life. On this episode of Paternal, Jones recounts the moment he discovered his wife's infidelity, why his therapist recommended he consider picking up trash around town, and how he used soccer to connect with his English ancestors and his teenaged son during a time when he needed a win more than ever. Jones' new memoir Legs Hearts Minds is available wherever you buy books. He has appeared on Paternal twice in the past, in 2021 and again in 2022.

By his own admission, Chuck Park lives in a cramped, two-bedroom apartment in Queens with his kids' drawings on the wall, a stroller by the door, and a dog who just won't stop barking. He's a dad concerned about the cost of health care and child care, and he's eager to fight for working families just like his. But can a normal dad with no experience in public office actually win a seat in the U.S. Congress? On this episode of Paternal, Park explains why he left a cushy job to run for Congress to represent New York's 6th Congressional District, and how his young son played a major role in the decision. He also discusses the level of anxiety in his community amid ongoing ICE raids, and the experience of growing up as the son of Korean immigrants who worked tirelessly as street peddlers in Manhattan to pay the bills and raise a family.

Just a few months after the birth of his son in 2019, Kevin Maguire noticed he wasn't feeling quite right. At times he resented his newborn son, other times he would cry for seemingly no reason. He lost interest in his work and some of his hobbies, and he just couldn't quite shake this idea that maybe something was wrong with him. After all, wasn't this supposed to be one the happiest moments of his life? Then Maguire discovered he was suffering from paternal postpartum depression, and the diagnosis sent him down a path that changed his life. Two years later he launched The New Fatherhood, a hugely popular international forum for men that Esquire dubbed "one big group text with other guys fumbling their way through fatherhood." Beginning with one email to friends that began with the line "being a dad isn't easy," The New Fatherhood now boasts a weekly newsletter read by nearly 20,000 dads in more than 150 countries.  On this episode of Paternal, Maguire discusses founding the forum, the kinds of vulnerable reactions he's received from dads over the years, and why we live in an era with the biggest changes facing fathers in generations. Maguire's new book, The New Fatherhood, is available wherever you buy books.

When Jordan Ritter Conn was a teenager growing up in an Evangelical Christian family, he met with a half dozen male friends every Saturday night for Bible Study. The sessions were a free-for-all for owning up to masturbation or admitting your insecurities, for speaking frankly about your father or dreaming about your future. Now a veteran journalist covering sports and culture for The Ringer and the author of the new book American Men, Conn still considers those Saturday nights "some of the best of my life." On this episode of Paternal, Conn discusses why so many men are struggling to make similarly meaningful connections, as well as what he learned from years of intimate and revealing conversations with four men from diverse American backgrounds for his new book. He also examines the male loneliness crisis, why all men have to face "the masculinity gap" at some point in their lives, and why he always texts a male friend after a meaningful conversation. Conn's new book, American Men, is available wherever you buy books.

Brooklyn-based psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author Daniel Smith has a motto: Feel everything, don't look away. But how exactly are men supposed to confront some of the most challenging emotions in their lives, especially when society tells them to suppress or even ignore feelings like shame, envy or regret? On this episode of Paternal, Smith examines our relationship to what he calls "Hard Feelings," and why reconsidering how we relate to these emotions can be beneficial for men as they become fathers. He also recounts his own story of growing up with a father who lingered at an emotional distance, and why modeling that emotions are off-limits can lead to shame and anger in our kids. Smith is the author of the 2012 memoir Monkey Mind and the new release Hard Feelings, available wherever you buy books.