Classroom Crush

What else do you need to know? I'm back post-punch and am uploading this soooo late because life is crazy. But you know what's also crazy? How funny and cool MARISSA GOLDMAN is!! Yes we're talking anxious puking yes we're talking migraines yes the body continues to keep the score. Plus: "Super Sex", weed nights, and so much more! Follow Marissa on instagram here: @themediawitch_

Weeee're back with a normal episode! Only trauma in THIS one is the formative identity stuff! Classic CC for ya. Though someone DOES get beat up. This week I'm so thrilled to have writer/comedian/filmmaker extraordinaire Niles Abston on the pod! We're talking young crushes, growing up in a small town in the South, fitting into a predominantly white school, the Athlete Identity, dating a misfit cheerleader, the confusion of completely different church experiences, the pastor track, and soooo much more! Donate to his film fundraiser here! : https://seedandspark.com/fund/98honda#story Watch his special here! : https://www.youtube.com/watch?si=I_R1nfULF_uIZz4d&v=J3JOUtnGqzs&feature=youtu.be

And despite my tone, I am being serious! TW: public assault, blood, discussion of drug use and overdose I tried my best to be as candid as possible about some stuff I'm still processing, as they say...but I hope this can all be an ongoing conversation, and I hope we can figure some stuff out together? Ultimately I hope we can love each other enough to challenge the way we've been taught to relate...And to recognize who and what benefits from an unending cycle of violence. Safety is a relationship between people, and it cannot be realized by a system built on the oppression of those people. <3 Links: The Secret, Silent Echo Of An Overdose by Alan Hanson: https://takesurfacestreets.substack.com/p/the-secret-silent-echo-of-an-overdose Alan's substack: https://takesurfacestreets.substack.com/ More writing: https://muckrack.com/alan-hanson/articles

This week I’m thrilled to have miss LILY REED on the podcast! We’re talking all the health/relationship updates before getting into Lily’s crush history! This ep’s got it all:  G-g-g-gay thoughts, armpit hair public humiliation, Mischa Barton aspirations, being thrust into sexuality amidst a culture of non-consent and pressure , macaroni dates, looking for your Ezra Koenig and settling for Smoker Boy, when feminism meant being like boy, Rebecca's jealous history, obsessive control and first date micromanagement, body image, sexual identity and orientation, avoiding uncertainty, self diagnosis, self love, and sooooooo much more! We’re going through it but we are also distinctly working it out. Get into it.  You can follow Lily on all platforms at: @bonesauce94

Today I'm SO glad to be joined by my sister in depression and hilarious hottie, Rachel Coster! What's up with being 27 in 2023 and feeling mentally unhinged?? We get into it!! Also- Rachel's mile a minute crushing history, finding a spin on anyone, being a weirdo, being horny, handling rejection, yes, older men of course, the responsibility of love, accidental (?) sex presh from your mom, Rachel proves my longstanding theory that going to London solves crushing woes (they love a rude girl innit), why is it literally high school right now and SORRY if I talked about this last time, discovering you're young and hot and can do whatever, falling in love with yourself and finding your way BACK to yourself. In this ep we are SOWING SEEDS okay? For our health. Follow Rachel on insta at: @rachelcoster Stream Outdoor Lover!!

CLASSROOM CRUSH HAS LOGGED BACK ON, STUDENTS!! Join me in the chat with fellow multifaceted Cuban, comedian, your mans and mines, Julian Hernandez!! We’re coming in hot and spicy with the first gen Cuban complexes and hearts full of sweet sweet (oft misguided) love. Julian is telling me all about self fulfilling white girl prophecies, denial of self, putting yourself out there at all costs, (cw!) high school eating disorder and bad dad advice, being hard on yourself, conditional love, power dynamics, self realization, being enough and being REAL, bro. Just kinda an insane banger of an episode if you ask me. Love yourself. Check out Julian's solo show at Littlefield in BK 5/30: https://littlefieldnyc.com/event/?wfea_eb_id=627134926447 aaand in LA at The Yard 6/2: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/jooby-a-variety-show-done-by-just-one-guytm-tickets-627407331217 (We The Best) MUSIC: Change Your Mind - The Killers Romeo + Juliet - The Killers (Dire Straights cover) Why Bother? - Weezer

Hello class, just a little update for you. I love you all (in an appropriate way) and thank you for listening and bearing with me. Talk soon :) 

Wow wow I laughed so much doing this episode which I mean, duh, because it's Dylan Adler on the show!!! I had the absolute pleasure of talking to Dylan about his most formative, lowkey life long crush - a forever cool guitar guy marching to the beat of his own drum type whose name HAS been bleeped so this episode sounds very explicit even though it's actually just SWEET like the crush HIMSELF!! Though we do mention jacking it so I guess that's explicit in a way. We're talkin': being a twin and early 2000s twin culture, The Body Keeps The Score to The Artist’s Way pipeline, when you’re the High School Musical drama teacher but you're a child, having no chill, being both horny for and kinda jealous of your crush, demanding your mom gets you new white T shirts so you can be cool, jacking off in the bathroom stalls in high school, an UNEXPECTED and THRILLING app moment, comfort and familiarity, Rebecca tries to rewrite Dylan and crush's history but ultimately...who can never be sure...is it a hello? or a hello...you know? Listen and decide for yourself!!  Follow Dylan on Twitter at: @DylanAdler6 and go to his solo show on 8/29 at Littlefield! Tickets here Follow Rebecca on Twitter at: @AlmondMilkHotel Subscribe to the patreon here: https://www.patreon.com/classroomcrush MUSIC DISCUSSED ON THIS EPISODE: Here, There And Everywhere - The Beatles

This week we’re celebrating sweet summer loveee with comedian and 1/3rds of Shrimp Boys, Wyatt Fair!! Wyatt claims to not be a good story teller but he’s wrong because I was floating completely luxuriating on this ride…We’re talkin: a meeting at the movies, when 2 best friends date 2 best friends, a texting competition(?), body image in sweaty cities, writing love notes, confidence, different schools? = long distance, tucking feelings away, an absolutely SPECIAL and STEAMY reunion, comedic chemistry, sensitivity, and so much more!! Follow Wyatt on Twitter and Letterboxd at: @WyattFair Follow Rebecca on Twitter at: @AlmondMilkHotel Subscribe to the patreon here: https://www.patreon.com/classroomcrush MUSIC DISCUSSED ON THIS EPISODE: Lover I Don’t Have To Love - Bright Eyes Ohio Is For Lovers - Hawthorne Heights The Recluse - Cursive

This week it’s an absolute instant classic ep with Caroline Ely of Good Christian Fun fame!! You know it’s an instant classic because the girlie brought NOTES from the SECRET COMPARTMENT of her voice activated safe locked DIARY chronicling her every crush. We get into the juicy ones as we discuss: longing and fantasy, formative old Hollywood film romance, placing 3rd in crush ranking, Christian upbringing and absolute grinding shame, a grad night to remember and a boy’s name to forget, yeahhh we’re takin it to the splash zone for a school field trip, girl bullies, why do people always TELL about the CRUSH, a flirting style so unique it doesn’t work, and soooooo much more. I love Caroline and I love this episode. Oh yeah also Poison Ivy Era is over but it’s NOT what you think….don’t worry we spend about 10 minutes up top talking about my skin. Subscribe to the patreon below for all the action ;) Follow Caroline on Twitter at: @CarolineFarts and listen to Good Christian Fun! Follow Rebecca on Twitter at: @AlmondMilkHotel Subscribe to the patreon here: https://www.patreon.com/classroomcrush MUSIC DISCUSSED ON THIS EPISODE: On The Street Where You Live - Nat King Cole

Free full video is on youtube! : https://youtu.be/bHLXXVVrb44 What can I say....it is somehow the 100th episode of Classroom Crush and it is obviously time to have the oft discussed, legendary, hilarious, perfect, Special To Me, famous Patty. If you haven't heard me talk about her a million times, she is my aunt who is a year older than me so she's like basically my best friend and my sister and my person. She's also a chef and she also is one of the only people I know who could compete with me in a Boy Crazy competition!!! I love her soooooo much and you 100% will too!!! I'm so excited to introduce you to her!! We are taking a crush journey and talk about three formative crushes and the various humiliations they inflicted on her. Hell yeah baby. We discuss: Patty's life long obsession with love, a kindergarten polyamorous relationship, a worst case scenario notes passing moment, being hairy girlies, bullying, deciding you are hot, scandalous flirt plans, school closet moments, grinding trains, a gaggle of laughing boys, insecurity, we love each other, self worth, yes a Moulin Rouge moment and simply soooooooooooooo much more!!! You have to listen/watch. It's The Patty Experience.  Follow Patty on instagram at: @sofritoysalsa Follow Rebecca on Twitter at: @AlmondMilkHotel Subscribe to the patreon here: https://www.patreon.com/classroomcrush MUSIC DISCUSSED ON THIS EPISODE: No Air - Jordin Sparks & Chris Brown (sorry but this was the most inevitable thing in the world) Elephant Love Medley - Moulin Rouge baby  Whatever You Like - T.I

Today is an absolute treat because I'm talking to THE Rajat Suresh!!! You know him, you love him, he makes you laugh and this time he will actually be making your horny and in love as well. At long last we rerecorded an episode we initially did simply years ago now, but rest assured we forgot most of it and this episode IS the best version of the episode that could ever be an episode. He's telling me all about growing up in Texas (weird and white!!) and some truly humiliating crush moments that could only happen to a REAL nerd, not a fake ass poser nerd. We're talking bodily fluids on display, the Aloof Method of flirting, tfw a bully shames your friend for wanting a girlfriend and it scars you for life, do pedophiles listen to this podcast?, a birthday card embarrassment, being king of kissless virgins, college orientation grinding, race in dating, meeting someone IRL, self preservation, rejection, and so much more!!!!! Rajat went Sincere Mode (mostly) and it actually goes hard as hell... Follow Rajat on Twitter at: @rajat_suresh Follow Rebecca on Twitter at: @AlmondMilkHotel Subscribe to the patreon here: https://www.patreon.com/classroomcrush MUSIC DISCUSSED ON THIS EPISODE: Carried Away - Passion Pit Kiss Me - Sixpence None The Richer

Boy oh boy do we have a crush JOURNEY to go on today. I’d even venture to say it’s a bit of a crush voyage…Hop on the love boat and take a ride with us because it’s filmmaker, writer and director, Jamie Rice!!! Today we’re taking an absolute tour of Jamie’s impressive crush history and yeah, it’s horny! And yeah, there are TWO Cruise Ship Crushes! We’re talking: girlies of divorce!/bag girls, being reformed bully, scandalous things happening under various blankets, a wild Colorado connection, CONQUESTS, far away crushes, independence, escape, EVOLUTIONN, oh shit I’m giving too much away. Listen!! Follow Jamie on Twitter at: @jamiehrice and watch "I Love My Upstairs Neighbor"!! Follow Rebecca on Twitter at: @AlmondMilkHotel Subscribe to the patreon here: https://www.patreon.com/classroomcrush MUSIC DISCUSSED ON THIS EPISODE: Fall For You - Secondhand Serenade

Okay this week we are thrilled to be joined by absolute online royalty...it's writer and chaotic good tweeter, Hanna Phifer! Hanna is telling me all about growing up in a religious household, sheltered from evils such as Harry Potter (well...) and queer stuff. That is until a little thing called the internet opened doors to online communities on tumblr and girls kissing girls on youtube! But most importantly there's the revealing, homoerotic best friendship she had in high school that according to twitter she might have to fight in the end. We're talkin: scattered types (when they’re hot they’re hot), trauma bonding, it’s sooo Paula Abdul in here, tiktok disinformation / Tumblr superiority, the culture of sadness as social currency, discourse hell, shame, saving horny tumblr gifs on family computer, being at someone’s beck and call, unlearning, perpetually the initiator, tfw covid ruins your plans for kissing/eventual orgy, maybe not dating in high school was actually good?, figuring it all out and so much more! Follow Hanna on Twitter at: @WrittenByHanna Follow Rebecca on Twitter at: @AlmondMilkHotel Subscribe to the patreon here: https://www.patreon.com/classroomcrush MUSIC DISCUSSED ON THIS EPISODE: Into You - Fabolous, Tamia 

This week I’m so STOKED to be joined by rock and roller, my friend and yours, Chris Farren! Chris is a musician and artist but more importantly he’s a Wife Guy. On this episode we’re talking all about how he got there! INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO: unshakable kid confidence, home school, a password sharing betrayal, crush ROBIN’s devastating list, self loathing/love hand in hand?, mid 20s existential crisis vibes, “doing recess the best”, Big Bitch Summer, learning what you do and don’t need from a relaysh, teaching people how to treat you, fixers, people pleasing, basically Chris and Rebecca are doing therapy…and it’s fun! Follow Chris on twitter at: @chrisfarren and google him at google dot com or also here’s his website…..listen today! https://www.chrisfarren.com/ Follow Rebecca on Twitter at: @AlmondMilkHotel Subscribe to the patreon here: https://www.patreon.com/classroomcrush MUSIC DISCUSSED ON THIS EPISODE: Why Can’t We Be Friends - Smash Mouth

Brrr…it’s cold in here? It must be DERRY QUEEN in the atmosphere!! This week I’m thrilled to be joined by the comedian/drag queen extraordinaire herself. Also it’s Poison Ivy era. Derry is telling us all about a rollercoaster ride of queerness, Bend it Like Beckham obviously, does Rupert Grint have a big dig?, when one hot guy makes you question it all, monogamy, a prank call confession, a desire to be close to someone but not do kissing, a Marley and Me date, what it’s like dating as a drag queen, romantic friendships/soulmates, taking yourself seriously, being the Prom King who didn’t get invited to parties, and so much more!!! Follow Derry on twitter and insta: @derryqueenhaha Follow Rebecca on Twitter: @AlmondMilkHotel Subscribe to the patreon here: https://www.patreon.com/classroomcrush MUSIC DISCUSSED ON THIS EPISODE: Poison Oak - Bright Eyes Sk8er Boi - Avril Lavigne

This week I’m SO excited to share this very very special edition of Classroom Crush with my Friend/Family/Community, Osh! They are an artist, creator, Black Trans Liberationist, abolitionist and one of the best people I know. Osh is telling us about their experience growing up as a Black AMAB child in Missouri, pansexuality, expectation, loyalty, being the “smart special kid”, breaking up with your mom, falling back in love with yourself, age and power dynamics, a back seat love affair, feeling limited and feeling free. And literally so much more this episode is goes so many places you have to listen. This is an example of what Patreon Friends & Family episodes might sound like, and I am GENUINELY so excited to share this friend with you. Follow Osh on instagram at: @oshwagandha and contribute to @forthegworls and @abolitonpark to provide vital resources to those in need!

GOD this is episode is a scorcher and is making me SO excited to be back for real. This week I’m joined by one the absolute faves, Maggie Winters!! She is the first to grace us with her video presence, so check out the twitter and patreon to see!! We’re getting into the nitty gritty of: being so embarrassed that you have a feeling, a period story that had my jaw on the FLOOR, the image of who is "allowed" to crush, Spaghetti Rebecca, coming out as bisexual (ever heard of it??) needing clarity up front, grappling with femininity when girlies used to sit on you like a chair, coming into yourself and accepting the fantasy of love as something attainable!! This episode is packed and I can’t wait for you to listen. And fine, you get the first video free :) : youtu.be/f-8UAa9TYag Slide into Maggie’s DMs (JK!! Unless…) at: saggiesplinters on Twitter Follow Rebecca on Twitter at: AlmondMilkHotel Subscribe to the patreon here: www.patreon.com/classroomcrush MUSIC DISCUSSED ON THIS EPISODE Ophelia - The Band This Love - Maroon 5 On The Way Down - Ryan Cabrera

GOD this is episode is a scorcher and is making me SO excited to be back for real. This week I’m joined by one the absolute faves, Maggie Winters!! She is the first to grace us with her video presence, so check out the twitter and patreon to see!! We’re getting into the nitty gritty of: being so embarrassed that you have a feeling, a period story that had my jaw on the FLOOR, the image of who is "allowed" to crush, Spaghetti Rebecca, coming out as bisexual (ever heard of it??) needing clarity up front, grappling with femininity when girlies used to sit on you like a chair, coming into yourself and accepting the fantasy of love as something attainable!! This episode is packed and I can’t wait for you to listen. And fine, you get the first video free :) : youtu.be/f-8UAa9TYag Slide into Maggie’s DMs (JK!! Unless…) at: saggiesplinters on Twitter Follow Rebecca on Twitter at: AlmondMilkHotel Subscribe to the patreon here: www.patreon.com/classroomcrush MUSIC DISCUSSED ON THIS EPISODE Ophelia - The Band This Love - Maroon 5 On The Way Down - Ryan Cabrera

Wow. Is this shit for real? Classroom Crush is BACK after 2 YEARS? Somehow it is true. Has anything gone on during that time? Just kidding. There's a LOT to catch up on and I couldn't be happier to be doing it with my pal, actor/comedian/trauma bonded comrade Austin Cassel! This first episode has it ALL: Hannah Montana, late blooming, Madagascar the film, mean girls, a LIP SYNCING MOMENT, vandalism, a first kiss FAIL, self image issues, PATTERNS and tfw you find love in a hopeless place? Much to unpack. It's been so long and I'm so happy and nervous and excited to be back!! Do u still like me? Check yes by leaving a nice review and check no by doing nothing :) Follow Austin on insta @ austincassel & twitter @ RinTinStin Follow Rebecca on twitter @ AlmondMilkHotel Follow the show on twitter @ ClassroomCrush MUSIC DISCUSSED ON THIS EPISODE: I Like To Move It Move It - King Julian the lemur from Madagascar... Oh, What A World - Kacey Musgraves No Air - Jordin Sparks, Chris Brown The Saltwater Room - Owl City