Behavioral Grooves Podcast

Relationships change because people change. In this episode, we explore what it means when someone you love no longer feels like the person you once knew. Using behavioral science, we examine why personality shifts over time, why growth does not always happen in the same direction, and how to decide whether to reconnect, recalibrate, or let go. Topics [0:00] Understanding Relationship Changes [7:07] Relationship Changes Over Time [13:28] Self-Expansion Theory and Michelangelo Phenomenon [22:08] Growth vs. Escape: What’s Really Driving the Change? [29:49] How to Navigate Relationship Changes [34:00] Updating the Story of “Us” [43:01] The Importance of Compassion [46:00] Regret, Loss, and What to Do Next ©2026 Behavioral Grooves Links The All-or-Nothing Marriage: How the Best Marriages Work by Eli Finkel Join us on Substack! Join the Behavioral Grooves community Subscribe to Behavioral Grooves on YouTube Support Behavioral Grooves Music Links Gotye - Somebody That I Used to Know Flora Cash - You’re Somebody Else

What if your mood, focus, and energy aren’t random—but driven by internal clocks you rarely think about? This week, circadian rhythm expert Daniel Forger explains why jet lag hits so hard, why sleep timing may matter more than sleep duration, and what your wearable data actually means. If you’ve ever questioned your “sleep score” or wondered whether you’re a morning person by design, this conversation will change how you understand your body’s timing system. Topics [0:00] Psychologist Off the Clock! [1:55] Intro and Speed Round with Daniel Forger [5:44] Why Crossing Time Zones Messes You Up [10:07] What Are Biological Rhythms? [13:03] Is Your Apple Watch Accurate? [22:44] How Your Biological Rhythms Impact Mood and Performance [27:17] Could Humans Adapt to a 25-Hour Day? [36:31] Circadian Rhythms and Happiness [44:39] The Three Most Important Lessons About Biological Timing [49:32] Bach, Pipe Organs, and Mathematical Patterns [53:41] Grooving Session: The Intersection of Biology and Happiness ©2026 Behavioral Grooves Links About Daniel Biological Rhythms by Daniel Forger Join us on Substack! Join the Behavioral Grooves community Subscribe to Behavioral Grooves on YouTube Support Behavioral Grooves Musical Links Best of Bach

In this special Grooving session, we unpack what happens when shared facts collapse and preferred beliefs take their place. Sparked by Kurt's firsthand experience during unrest in Minneapolis, this conversation explores why people reject lived experience, how identity defense and motivated reasoning shut down dialogue, and when it’s rational to stop trying to persuade altogether. Drawing on behavioral science, persuasion research, and real-world encounters, we examine how to choose your battles, why stories succeed where arguments fail, and what it actually takes to find common ground in a belief-first world.

Dating in 2026 feels broken.  The apps promise infinite choice, rom-coms on our screens promise “the one”, and yet frustration, ghosting, and mismatched expectations seem to be more normal than anything actually working out. This week, Tim Ash, author of Primal Dating, joins us as we explore why dating in the modern world feels so unstable and why many of today’s relationship struggles aren’t personal failures, but predictable outcomes of our ancient instincts clashing with modern environments and expectations. Topics [0:00] Introduction and Speed Round with Tim Ash [7:52] Behavioral tendencies and evolutionary psychology [18:09] The role of life stages in dating [26:17] The impact of cultural norms on dating [30:51] The economic of dating [35:48] The role of tech in dating [48:33] The importance of empathy in dating [56:58] Music talk with Tim and Tim [1:00:45] Grooving Session: Modern dating for primordial (?) minds ©2026 Behavioral Grooves Links About Tim Primal Dating by Tim Ash and Dr. Limor Gottlieb Join us on Substack! Join the Behavioral Grooves community Subscribe to Behavioral Grooves on YouTube Support Behavioral Grooves Music Links Steely Dan - FM Chet Baker - Almost Blue

Love is in the air this Valentine's Day...or is that science? Today, we're throwing it back to 2021, when we had the privilege of chatting with Logan Ury, Director of Relationship Science at Hinge, about the challenges people face in modern dating. From getting ready for a first date to maintaining a relationship long term, Logan gives us valuable insights and advice on how to overcome common hurdles and make the most out of each stage or the dating life.  So, the question of the day is - are you a maximizer, satisficer, or romanticizer? Tune in to find out.  Links About Logan How Not to Die Alone by Logan Ury Music Links Hamilton - Satisfied Chance the Rapper - Coloring Book

You think you know what you want in a partner, but behavioral science says attraction doesn’t work that way. Relationship scientist Paul Eastwick breaks down why dating apps and checklists fail, how attraction actually forms, and why real compatibility grows through interaction, timing, and shared history. Topics [0:00] Introduction and Speed Round with Paul Eastwick [8:21] Why dating checklists and apps fail us [14:45] The myth of universal attractiveness [21:03] How attraction develops over time [27:29] Is “love at first sight” a lie? [38:13] The ‘best’ way to meet people [47:04] The Stroop effect [54:50] Attraction, identity, and history [1:01:11] Desert island music picks [1:03:55] Grooving session: trust, attraction, and relationships beyond dating ©2026 Behavioral Grooves Links Paul Eastwick Love Factually Bonded by Evolution by Paul Eastwick Join us on Substack! Join the Behavioral Grooves community Subscribe to Behavioral Grooves on YouTube Support Behavioral Grooves Music Links Pink Floyd - Hey You Nobuo Uematsu - One Winged Angel

Why do certain phrases stay with us for life? In this episode, were joined by James Geary, author of The World in a Phrase, to explore how aphorisms shape judgment, decision-making, and meaning. From fortune cookies to philosophy, they unpack why short sayings act as cognitive heuristics, how they guide thinking without giving answers, and why the aphorisms that serve us best often change over time, just as we do. Topics [0:00] Introduction and Speed Round with James Geary [7:30] The Laws of Aphorisms [13:45] Finding Wisdom in Unexpected Places [21:07] Aphorisms as Cognitive Heuristics [29:51] The Role of Aphorisms in Decision-Making [35:00] How Aphorisms Can Match Life Stages [42:30] How We Can Apply Aphorisms to Daily Life [48:06] What Do Aphorisms Mean for Me? [59:00] Grooving Session: The World in a Phrase ©2026 Behavioral Grooves Links About James The World in a Phrase Join us on Substack! Join the Behavioral Grooves community Subscribe to Behavioral Grooves on YouTube Support Behavioral Grooves Musical Links Leonard Cohen - Anthem Paul Simon - Everything Put Together Falls Apart  

This Grooving Session feels personal for us. We’re combining our own experiences with behavioral science to explore why civil discourse seems so fragile right now. Over the weekend, tensions rose as ICE activity increased in Minneapolis, and Kurt’s neighborhood was deeply affected. When political tension is high, factors such as fear, proximity to events, and social identity can worsen polarization. It’s easy to forget that we have more in common than we think. We’re here to support you, and we hope this episode gives you practical ways to engage. By slowing down, avoiding online dogpiles, and starting with the question, “What do we agree on?” We can start rebuilding a sense of shared reality. Links Migrant Solidarity Mutual Aid Just Neighbors Music Links Bruce Springsteen - Streets of Minneapolis

Why do smart people keep making predictably bad decisions? Behavioral economist Alex Imas joins us to unpack The Winner’s Curse, loss aversion, and the persistent biases that shape markets, policy, and everyday choices. We explore why classic economic models fall short and what behavioral economics reveals about how humans really decide. Topics [0:00] Introduction and speed round with Alex Imas [11:55] The Winner’s Curse and its implications [21:13] Behavioral economics and standard economic matters [28:01] Loss aversion and decision-making [35:04] Behavioral economics in policy and law [41:00] Tom Sawyer economics [47:30] Social media, attention, and exploitation of bias [56:38] The importance of cooperation and social systems [58:40] New music in 2026 [1:07:53] Grooving session: framing, preferences, and happiness ©2026 Behavioral Grooves Links The Winner’s Curse by Richard Thaler and Alex Imas About Alex Join us on Substack! Join the Behavioral Grooves community Subscribe to Behavioral Grooves on YouTube Support Behavioral Grooves Musical Links Fontaines DC - I Love You ALEXSUCKS - The Gutter

January often feels like a letdown instead of a fresh start. In this episode, we explain the behavioral science behind the January slump, why motivation drops after the holidays, and how reflection, recovery, and smaller milestones can help individuals and teams regain energy and momentum. Topics [0:00] Are you feeling that January Slump? [3:34] Reflecting and recharging [4:56] What leaders can do [8:00] Milestones for motivation [11:42] Final thoughts and next steps ©2026 Behavioral Grooves Links Join us on Substack! Join the Behavioral Grooves community Subscribe to Behavioral Grooves on YouTube Support Behavioral Grooves

Boredom feels unpleasant, but that may be the point. Psychologist Dr. Erin Westgate joins us to explain why boredom is a signal rather than a flaw, how meaning and attention shape it, and what it can teach us about work, burnout, and living a psychologically rich life. Topics [0:00] Intro and Speed Round with Erin Westgate [8:05] Do we think for pleasure? [13:11] Why men would rather shock themselves than be bored [15:50] The MAC model [25:23] Is boredom useful? [29:07] Enjoyable vs. interesting experiences [31:51] Can a boring life still be a good life? [39:58] Boredom and burnout at work  [49:39] Is boredom good or bad? [52:38] Designing better environments for bored people [58:31] Desert island music [1:02:17] Grooving Session: Boredom and meaning in life ©2026 Behavioral Grooves Links About Erin A Psychologically Rich Life: Beyond Happiness and Meaning Join us on Substack! Join the Behavioral Grooves community Subscribe to Behavioral Grooves on YouTube Support Behavioral Grooves Musical Links Patty Scialfa - Rumble Doll Beethoven - Symphony No.7 in A major op.92 - II, Allegretto

It’s Throwback Thursday at Behavioral Grooves, and we’re revisiting one of our favorite conversations with bestselling author Jonah Berger on the surprising power of words. Tiny shifts in language can shape behavior, influence relationships, and even change how others see us. Jonah reveals the “magic words” that captivate, motivate, and persuade, and shares practical tips for turning actions into identities, priming behavior with language, and making every word count. Topics [3:27] Welcome and speed round questions. [5:09] Why asking for advice makes us actually seem smarter. [7:17] Using abstract vs. concrete language. [12:42] How Jonah researched the use of language. [16:49] How can our language affect our relationships. [19:31] Turning actions into identities. [22:47] Priming behavior with language. [25:00] Do the lyrics of songs help explain their success? [28:27] Grooving Session with Tim and Kurt on why words matter. Links About Jonah Magic Words: What to Say to Get Your Way by Jonah Berger Join us on Substack! Join the Behavioral Grooves community Subscribe to Behavioral Grooves on YouTube Support Behavioral Grooves Music Links Suzanne Vega, DNA - Tom's Diner  RUN DMC - Walk This Way (ft. Aerosmith)

What if the key to better work isn’t doing more, but moving more, resting better, and thinking differently? Dr. Natalie Nixon joins us to unpack her Move, Think, Rest framework and explain why creativity thrives when we step away from hustle culture. From walking meetings and daydreaming to embracing ambiguity and redesigning how we work, this episode offers a powerful reframe for anyone feeling burned out or stuck. Topics [0:00] Introduction and speed round with Natalie Nixon [10:20] Burnout, hustle culture, and redesigning how we work [16:12 Productivity myths from the Industrial Revolution [20:34] Movement hygiene and the benefits of walking [26:39] The Move, Think, Rest model [30:27] How to embrace ambiguity instead of fighting it [38:27] The importance of scaling rest [44:38] How Natalie finds her groove [48:25] Grooving Session: Reframing productivity and creativity  ©2026 Behavioral Grooves Links MTR Challenge Natalie Nixon Move. Think. Rest. By Natalie Nixon, PhD Join us on Substack! Join the Behavioral Grooves community Subscribe to Behavioral Grooves on YouTube Support Behavioral Grooves Music Links Check out Natalie Nixon's Playlist for: Move Think Rest    

In this annual “best of the best” episode, we revisit the behavioral science books that most influenced our thinking this year. Rather than ranking titles, we explore what made each book impactful; from happiness and psychological richness to leadership, teams, and behavioral economics, and why these ideas continue to challenge how we think, work, and live. Topics [0:00] Can we really rank “best” books? [2:08] Book Giveaway - How to join [3:34] Psychological richness and happiness [5:50] Redefining wealth beyond money [7:21] The illusion of self-derived beliefs [8:25] Getting out of your own way [11:11] The power of mattering at work [13:21] Rethinking happiness [15:01] Behavioral science in the real world [16:45] Behavioral economics [19:52] Behavioral science in marketing and advertising [20:19] Closing thoughts and community invite  ©2026 Behavioral Grooves Links Life in Three Dimensions – Shigehiro Oishi The Soul of Wealth – Daniel Crosby The Knowledge Illusion – Steven Sloman Detach – Bob Rosen The Collective Edge – Colin Fisher The Power of Mattering – Zach Mercurio What We Value – Emily Falk Beyond Happy – Mark Fabian The Doors You Can Open – Rosalind Chow The Housefly Effect – Eva van den Broek & Tim den Heijer The Winner’s Curse – Richard Thaler & Alex Imas Meditations for Mortals – Oliver Burkeman Hacking the Human Mind – Richard Shotton Join us on Substack! Join the Behavioral Grooves community Subscribe to Behavioral Grooves on YouTube Support Behavioral Grooves Music Links Groovy Listening 2025 Playlist

Happy New Year, Groovers! This week, we're taking some time-off and sharing an oldie but a goodie - our conversation with Ayelet Fishbach.  The start of a new year often brings fresh motivation...and then we burnout. But why? In this recast, we are joined by Dr. Ayelet Fishbach to explore why willpower-driven resolutions fail and how behavioral science offers a smarter way to set goals that last. Through an examination of her research, we unpack meta-motivation, the problem with "the middle" and how you can design your goals better so that they carry momentum through January and beyond.  ©2025 Behavioral Grooves Topics [0:00] Motivation and Willpower - a New Perspective with Ayelet Fishbach [3:19] The Marshmallow Test and Its Misinterpretation [7:52] Meta Motivation and Its Implications [14:28] The Role of Intrinsic and Extrinsic Motivation [18:17] Problems Around Goal Achievement [32:41] The Important of Aspirational Goals [42:58] Strategies for Overcoming the Problem of "the Middle" [48:33] Key Takeaways ©2025 Behavioral Grooves Links About Ayelet Get It Done: Surprising Lessons from the Science of Motivation Music Links Best of NPR Tiny Desk

Why do holiday rituals matter so much to our happiness and sense of connection? In this pre-Christmas special, we unwrap (ho ho ho…) the behavioral science behind gatherings and traditions—from Thanksgiving dinners to baking cookies and watching favorite holiday movies. Learn how rituals differ from habits, why they help reduce anxiety, and how small, intentional moments can strengthen belonging, refresh traditions that feel stale, and make the holiday season feel more meaningful and enjoyable. Topics [0:00] Understanding the Importance of Gatherings and Rituals [5:19] The Role of Multiple Groups in Identity [8:06] Defining Rituals [14:13] Maintaining the Meaning of Rituals [19:00] Practical Ways to Add Intention to the Holidays [22:15[ A Question for Your Next Gathering ©2025 Behavioral Grooves Links Join us on Substack! Join the Behavioral Grooves community Subscribe to Behavioral Grooves on YouTube Support Behavioral Grooves Musical Links Nat King Cole - The Christmas Song Tim Minchin - White Wine in the Sun  

Individual emotional intelligence matters — but teams thrive when EI is built together, not carried by a few well-developed individuals. In this episode, Vanessa Druskat explains why high-performing groups rely on shared norms that create psychological safety, trust, and collaboration. We talk through her research-backed framework for turning work groups into emotionally intelligent teams, how leaders can shape better environments, and why optimism is a surprisingly powerful tool for motivation and change. Topics [0:00] Intro and Speed Round with Vanessa Druskat [7:08] What is Team Emotional Intelligence? [13:02] Leader Behavior vs Team Norms [18:24] The Discovery of “the Nine Norms” [26:34] Engaging Stakeholders Beyond the Team [33:19] Belonging Needs and Conformity [42:01] Optimism As a Leadership Tool [47:21] Coaching for Hope vs Problems [50:42] Desert Island Music [54:14] Grooving Session: A+ Teams vs A+ Individuals ©2025 Behavioral Grooves Links About Vanessa The Emotionally Intelligent Team Join us on Substack! Join the Behavioral Grooves community Subscribe to Behavioral Grooves on YouTube Support Behavioral Grooves Musical Links Van Morrison - Days Like This John Prine - In Spite of Ourselves  

Executive coach and author Muriel Wilkins joins us to unpack the invisible beliefs that quietly shape how we lead. We explore why curiosity is the starting point for self-awareness, the common internal blockers she sees in leaders, and why leadership growth is less about changing who you are and more about expanding your mindset. Muriel breaks down how hidden scripts formed early in life can limit our impact later on, and how shifting our beliefs can help us move from stress and suffering to clarity, range, and ease at work. Topics [0:00] Introduction and speed round with Muriel Wilkins [9:33] Are limiting beliefs protective? [15:40] Where limiting beliefs come from [20:00] Why we’re not taught self-reflection [27:04] The problem with glorifying stress [33:44] Changing vs expanding your mindset [39:23] Redefining success [44:47] How Muriel Wilkins finds her groove [54:50] Grooving Session: Curiosity, self-awareness, and expanding your mindset ©2025 Behavioral Grooves Links About Muriel Leadership Unblocked by Muriel Wilkins Café Bustelo Join us on Substack! Join the Behavioral Grooves community Subscribe to Behavioral Grooves on YouTube Support Behavioral Grooves Musical Links Vivaldi - Four Seasons

In this special episode inspired by questions from our Facebook Community, we explore why big change feels intimidating even though most transformation happens quietly in our daily lives. Kurt and Tim dig into the micro-shifts we overlook, the powerful role expectations play in shaping our confidence and identity, and why surrounding yourself with people who expand your sense of possibility truly matters. They also revisit classic and modern goal-setting research — from Kurt Lewin’s “levels of aspiration” to today’s best evidence — to show how balancing past performance with future dreams helps you find the motivating sweet spot that keeps you moving forward. A Note From Our Team: This show exists because of the community around it — the questions you ask, the curiosity you bring, and the support you’ve given us. If you’d like to help us keep producing independent, ad-free behavioral science content, we’d be grateful for your support on Substack. Your contribution sets the expectation that this work matters — and helps us keep delivering it. Support us here. Topics [0:00] Change and Its Implications [4:00] The Impact of Incremental Change on Personal Growth [8:41] The Pygmalion Effect [16:14] Goal Setting: Past Performance vs Future Dreams [25:39] Incremental Goals vs. Aspirational Goals [29:11] Our Facebook Community: Coffee or Tea? ©2025 Behavioral Grooves Links Join us on Substack! Join the Behavioral Grooves community Subscribe to Behavioral Grooves on YouTube Support Behavioral Grooves

Is violence caused by “bad people,” too many guns, or something deeper? In this episode, University of Chicago researcher Jens Ludwig reveals why most violent acts stem not from evil intent but from ordinary people in unforgiving situations. We explore how behavior, context, metacognition, and split-second decision-making shape violent outcomes — and why small, scalable interventions like pocket parks, foot traffic, and reflective thinking can dramatically reduce harm. If you care about safer communities, more innovative policymaking, or just want to understand human behavior better, our conversation with Jens will forever reshape how you view violence. Topics [0:00] Intro and Speed Round with Jens Ludwig [10:18] Bad People vs Bad Situations [15:55] The 10-Minute Window [22:50] Dog Attacks and Tunnel Vision [31:15] Eyes on the Street and Environment Shaping Behavior [38:50] How Pocket Parks Reduce Crime [47:27] In-Group/Out-Group Psychology and Neighborhood Conflict [52:20] Metacognition, Education, and Preventing Violence [1:00:57] Poker, Tilt, and Decision-Making Under Stress [1:06:51] Desert Island Music Picks [1:11:21] Grooving Session: Interventions and a Solution to Violent Crime ©2025 Behavioral Grooves Links About Jens Unforgiving Places: The Unexpected Origins of American Gun Violence Join us on Substack! Join the Behavioral Grooves community Subscribe to Behavioral Grooves on YouTube Support Behavioral Grooves Musical Links Chappell Roan - Red Wine Supernova AC/DC - Hell’s Bells