Better Sex

Host Jessa Zimmerman talks with Feldenkrais teacher Beverly Atkins about the Feldenkrais Method, a gentle movement practice designed to reorganize the nervous system and improve movement efficiency by slowing down, pausing, and paying attention rather than “correcting” the body. Beverly shares how she discovered Feldenkrais after debilitating back pain and experienced rapid pain relief plus unexpected benefits like better sleep and a calmer, more curious way of relating. They discuss how autopilot movement patterns, chronic tension (especially in the pelvis), and a goal-driven “efforting” mindset can interfere with regulation, comfort, and intimacy, and why the pelvic clock lesson can be powerful when approached gradually. Beverly introduces her app, Pauseture, built to make shorter, quiet, daily lessons accessible, shares early tester results, and offers a 30-day free trial code: SEX30.00:00 Welcome to Better Sex00:44 Meet Beverly Atkins02:06 Feldenkrais Explained02:43 Back Pain Breakthrough09:00 Autopilot and Neuroplasticity12:13 Goals Versus Presence15:22 Building the Pauseture App16:58 Test Results and Pain Relief19:53 Mid Episode Resources20:35 Desire and Intimacy Links23:39 Pelvic Clock and Progression26:29 Why the Pelvis Matters30:05 Sexual Benefits and Men32:31 How to Try Pauseture34:14 What to Do Next36:16 Closing and CreditsJessa's desire discrepancy podcasts can be found at https://www.desirediscrepancy.comBio: Beverly Atkins is a Guild Certified Feldenkrais Practitioner® and founder of Pauseture, a mobile app of guided Feldenkrais Awareness Through Movement® lessons. In her private practice, she found that frozen, guarded pelvises, often from trauma or years of over-tightening through fitness culture, were connected to far more than pain, and that gently restoring movement could restore a sense of power and connection to the body.Get Pauseture with a 30-day free trial using code SEX30 (instead of the standard 7 days):iPhone: apps.apple.com/redeem?ctx=offercodes&id=6483941228&code=SEX30, this link takes you straight to the App Store with the code already applied. You can also download the app first and enter SEX30 manually under "Redeem Code."Android: download the app at play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.otrofy.pauseture, then go to Payments, select "Redeem Code," and enter SEX30.Intimacy with Ease is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit jessazimmerman.substack.com/subscribe

Host Jessa Zimmerman discusses a common dynamic where the higher desire partner feels angry and resistant when a lower desire partner finally becomes willing to address a long-neglected sexual disconnect, sometimes reacting with “how dare you now?” Jessa frames years of dismissal, deflection, or backsliding as a significant trust breach that can cause deep loneliness, despair, and feelings of abandonment, and notes that some people may decide it’s too little too late and choose to leave. If the relationship continues, she emphasizes that the injury must be addressed before focusing on improving sex: the lower desire partner needs to truly hear and empathize with the pain, take ownership for prioritizing comfort at the other’s expense, and demonstrate consistent change over time rather than short-term effort followed by relapse.00:00 Show Intro00:45 Soapbox Setup01:16 Too Little Too Late02:05 Trust Breach Explained02:57 Stay Or Leave03:32 Tend The Injury03:54 Empathy And Ownership05:06 Demonstrate Change05:44 Moving Forward Together06:14 Outro And CreditsIntimacy with Ease is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit jessazimmerman.substack.com/subscribe

Host Jessa Zimmerman interviews Colorado practitioner Dori Lewis, a certified sex therapist and psychedelic-assisted therapist using ketamine and psilocybin, about why altered-states work can complement sex therapy. Dori shares her personal motivations and explains how many clients—especially female-identified people with low desire, pain, or difficulty accessing pleasure—struggle with shame, external performance narratives, and feeling undeserving of eroticism. She describes how ketamine and psilocybin can create an “inside-out” embodied shift, temporarily quiet shame, and offer experiential insight that can be hard to reach through talk therapy alone, while emphasizing that outcomes vary and that integration is essential. They discuss surrender, the importance of set (mindset) and setting (environment) for both sex and psychedelic sessions, and how reflection and communication after experiences help carry learning forward. Dori shares resources for training and client services at Elemental Psychedelics and Reflective Healing Center in Fort Collins.00:00 Welcome to Better Sex00:47 Meet Dori Lewis01:46 Her Origin Story04:09 Merging Two Worlds05:17 Low Desire Breakthroughs09:42 Inside Out Shift12:00 Integration Matters14:10 Mid Show Announcement14:44 Surrender and Pleasure18:43 Set and Setting25:15 Sex Aftercare Talks26:44 Psychedelic Integration Work29:17 Where to Find Dori31:21 Closing and CreditsInterested in working with Jessa on some altered states work? Visit https://www.heartweaveforcoulpes.comBio:Dori Lewis is a licensed psychotherapist, clinical supervisor, AASECT-certified sex therapist, and co-founder of Elemental Psychedelics. She is also the owner of Reflective Healing Center in Fort Collins, Colorado, a psychotherapy group practice and licensed healing center specializing in psychedelic-assisted therapy, including ketamine and psilocybin, as well as integration therapy and transpersonal psychotherapy. She is a licensed Natural Medicine Clinical Facilitator in Colorado and serves as a clinical consultant in mushroom medicine work.With over a decade of clinical experience, Dori integrates transpersonal psychology, depth-oriented therapy, and psychedelic-assisted modalities within a relational framework that centers the therapeutic alliance. She has facilitated hundreds of psilocybin and ketamine sessions and numerous group ceremonies, bringing both clinical rigor and experiential depth to her work.Her approach is further informed by mentorship within the Zapotec mushroom tradition in Oaxaca, Mexico, alongside her own training and personal practice. As an educator, she has served as faculty with the Psychedelic Research and Training Institute and developed Elemental’s ketamine-assisted therapy and psilocybin facilitator trainings. She is also the first author of the forthcoming book The Psychedelic Mushroom Integration Workbook: Nurturing Growth, Healing, and Transformation with Psilocybin.www.elementalpsychedelics.comwww.reflectivehealing.comIntimacy with Ease is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit jessazimmerman.substack.com/subscribe

Host Jessa Zimmerman discusses how couples can still have pleasure and connection when a man doesn’t have an erection, noting that many encounters unnecessarily stop or shift entirely to pleasuring the partner. She shares a coaching-call example in which a man without his ED meds avoided receiving any touch to prevent “trying” and potential negative interpretations, and she challenges this goal-oriented mindset. Jessa explains that erection and orgasm are different processes—blood flow versus nerve function—and that pleasure, receiving touch, and even orgasm can still be possible without an erection. She encourages couples to let go of letting the penis dictate the encounter, focus on shared play in the moment, and decouple enjoyment from penile firmness, with the main limitation being penetrative sex.00:00 Show Intro00:45 Soapbox Setup01:14 Coaching Call Story02:27 When ED Stops Sex03:25 Pleasure Without Erection04:03 Ditch Goal Oriented Sex05:07 Redefining What’s Possible05:53 Final Takeaway06:22 Podcast OutroWant to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz –https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course – https://www.intimacywithease.com/iwecourseThe Book –https://www.sexwithoutstress.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclassIntimacy with Ease is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit jessazimmerman.substack.com/subscribe

Sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman talks with Katie Runyon, co-founder of Faithful Fling, about using playful novelty and role play to break out of “roommate syndrome,” increase vulnerability, and strengthen emotional and sexual connection. Katie shares how a small comment from her husband during the early-kids years prompted her to get curious, take a risk, and create a fantasy scenario that helped her reconnect with her erotic self as “a mom and a sexy woman.” They discuss how stressors like parenting, work, finances, caregiving, and illness can dull intimacy, why making space for play matters, and how Faithful Fling provides detailed, consent-based role-play “flings” with prompts, character and location ideas, separate partner logins to reduce unmet expectations, optional name changes, and “fringe dates” for couples who want the structure without acting as different people.00:00 Show Intro00:45 Meet Katie Runyon01:49 Roommate Syndrome Story05:56 Why Novelty Works08:25 Stress and Permission12:03 Mid Episode Break12:30 What Is Faithful Fling15:52 Test Drive Example20:14 Authenticity Concerns23:34 How Often and Props25:58 Listener Feedback Stories29:21 Where to Find Them29:45 Podcast OutroYou can find Jessa's quizzes at https://www.desirediscrepancy.comBio:Katie Runyan is the co-creator of Faithful Fling and is widely known as “The Role-Play Expert.” She helps couples keep monogamy HOT and playful through imaginative, flirty role-play dates designed to spark connection and desire. With a degree in psychology and over 25 years of marriage to her high school sweetheart, Katie blends expertise and creativity to help others thrive in committed relationships. She’s passionate about encouraging couples to embrace novelty, fantasy, and playfulness as a way to strengthen their bond and keep date night exciting. Katie is on a mission to help couples break free from routine and make playful connection a regular part of their love story.Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz –https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course – https://www.intimacywithease.com/iwecourseThe Book –https://www.sexwithoutstress.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclassIntimacy with Ease is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit jessazimmerman.substack.com/subscribe