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Author: Dan Savage

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Dan Savage, America's only advice columnist, answers your sex and relationship questions and yaps about politics. To record a question for Dan to be answered in a later podcast, record your question and send it to Q@Savage.Love, or call 206-302-2064. For a much longer version of the show, with no ads, visit savage.love and get yourself a subscription.

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After Action Report #22

After Action Report #22

2026-03-2717:061

Somewhere, deep in the woods in Holland, in cabins patrolled by volunteers, there's a very, very kinky gathering. Meet Tom, who indulged his new friend's girlfriend and helped to abduct her, throw her in a van and speed her off to an adventure in consensual non-consent. This is varsity level stuff and not for the faint of heart. Hear all about it. Tell us your story! Q@Savage.Love
A woman in a new relationship isn't sure this one's going to work out. He's a great guy, but the sex is lacking because his penis is too small for her. Is there a way to learn to enjoy the sex eventually? Here's a question for you: "How long til anal?" After seeing Heated Rivalry, a married man and his wife are exploring anal sex. They are taking their sweet time, but he wonders how long they should expect it to take before it becomes comfortable for them both. (Who's doing whom? He never says!)  On the Magnum, Dan speaks with Natalie Davis. She is the author "Saying Yes: My Adventures in Polyamory" and the editor of the online publication "Polyamory Today." They talk about her journey from PUD to enthusiastic advocate for open relationships. Last week, a woman wondered how many *other* women could experience 60-70 orgasms, like she does. This week, we close with a man who "worries" that he's having SO MUCH SEX that he's coming too much. Should he call 911? People. Really? Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at ⁠Squarespace.com/Savage⁠ and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. This episode is brought to you by VB Health, Doctor-formulated supplements that work . To learn more about Load Boost, Drive Boost and Soaking Wet and to get 10% off, visit ⁠VB.Health⁠ when you use the code Savage. This episode is brought to you by Carafem, an abortion and reproductive healthcare provider that offers both in person care in Atlanta, Chicago, Washington DC and telehealth options for abortion pills by mail in 21 states. Carafem’s team of licensed medical professionals provide personalized abortion care options focused on your needs, preferences, and values. Visit ⁠Carafem.org⁠ to learn more. Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, a-poly-gist (get it?) author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From bisexuality to butt sex, sexting to S&M and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage is a cultural force for sex positivity, when we most need it.
Have you ever wanted to be a fly on the wall during a MFM threeway? Listen in as the F tells the tale. How did she set it up? What was it like when they first met and shook hands? Who did who and where? Which one had a food sensitivity? You’ll have to listen to find out. Do you have a ribald, salacious story of sexual experimentation? Or maybe you found yourself in an awkward, unpleasant UNsexy situation. Tell us anyway! Write it up and send it in to Q@Savage.Love. This episode is brought to you by VB Health, Doctor-formulated supplements that work . To learn more about Load Boost, Drive Boost and Soaking Wet and to get 10% off, visit VB.Health when you use the code Savage.
A kinky, submissive woman's last relationship went down in flames when her dom insisted on a power exchange, all-the-damn-time lifestyle. She is raising kids and caring for her sick father. She doesn't have time for this kind of commitment. How can she set reasonable boundaries in the future? A married man despairs that he'll never kiss his wife again. Smooching is central to his experience of sexual pleasure, and the wife is repulsed by it. Sounds grim. Speaking of kissing, on the Magnum, it's a "What You Got?" with Dr. Matilda Brindle. The evolutionary biologist recently published a paper looking at whether early primates or even Neanderthals kissed. They also talk about kink in the animal kingdom, which leads to the story of one very freaky monkey. Do not miss this. Pay attention. And, a woman humble-braggingly wonders if OTHER women come 60-70 times per session she like does. 72,73, 74... Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Right now, Helix is offering 27% off site wide. Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now.  This episode  is brought to you by Feeld- the dating app that so many Lovecast listeners are already using. Try Feeld’s new feature “Reflections” now by visiting feeld.co/reflections or by downloading Feeld on the App Store or Google Play. This episode is sponsored by Sundays for Dogs- Dog food using the same ingredients and care you’d use to cook for yourself and your family. Go to sundaysfordogs.com/SAVAGE50 and get 50% off your first order. Or, you can use code SAVAGE50 at checkout. Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From polyamory, to multiple orgasms, trans rights to asexuality and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has been cultural force for sex positivity since Neanderthals were kissing up on peeps.
After Action Report #20

After Action Report #20

2026-03-1316:131

Meet Trina, who indulged her dom's desire. Did she love it? Did she hate it? Listen and learn. Did YOU try something new to you, and want us know about it? Write it up and send it in to Q@Savage.Love. This episode  is brought to you by Feeld- the dating app that so many Lovecast listeners are already using. Try Feeld’s new feature “Reflections” now by visiting feeld.co/reflections or by downloading Feeld on the App Store or Google Play.
Savage Love Episode 1009

Savage Love Episode 1009

2026-03-1054:352

Naturally, on this sex and relationship podcast, many of you are thinking about the Epstein files. One caller used to be a dom/daddy for younger women who sought him out and enjoyed themselves. Still he feels guilty. And another caller is having their libido crash when they read the news. Meanwhile a straight man has discovered a bizarre and rare disorder: he goes limp when he has to put a condom on. Somebody make a documentary about this guy! On the Magnum, a trans woman is grappling with the anger she feels at cis and non-binary people. Dan brings on trans, queer comedian and writer Hayden Johnson, to offer advice and to commiserate. They talk about how being a trans woman forces you to confront misogyny, the jarring difference in how people treat you when you present as a man vs. a woman, and how fun it is to mess with people's heads onstage as a trans comic. And, a 34 year-old woman is leaving her abusive husband. She knows it's the right thing to do, but worries she won't get another shot at marriage and family. She asks for a pep talk from Dan Savage, and from YOU. Leave her an inspiring comment! Q@savage.love 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. This episode is brought to you by Mill, odorless, effortless, fully automated food recycler. Try Mill risk-free for 90 days and get $75 off at Mill.com/Savage and use code Savage at checkout. This episode is brought to you by VB Health, Doctor-formulated supplements that work . To learn more about Load Boost, Drive Boost and Soaking Wet and to get 10% off, visit VB.Health when you use the code Savage. Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From polyamory, to BDSM, gay rights to sexual health and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has been cultural force for sex positivity since the 1800s.
After Action Report #19

After Action Report #19

2026-03-0621:411

Vanilla. Straight. Cis. Monogamous. How could this story possibly be sexy?A monogamous couple tried a dual massage in a foreign country. Mirrors on the ceiling. Pillows on the bed. Jacuzzi. Steam room. At first they wondered if they were allowed to have sex. They were. Hear the tale! If you have a story you think everyone should hear, write it up and send it in to Q@Savage.Love. This episode is brought to you by VB Health, Doctor-formulated supplements that work . To learn more about Load Boost, Drive Boost and Soaking Wet and to get 10% off, visit VB.Health when you use the code Savage.
When does subbing morph into self-harm? The relationship between a man and his much younger trans woman lover involves intense physical abuse. The girl has a wretched history, and engages in self harm. Although she gives consent, there's also a language barrier that makes everything they do seem out of control and destructive. A bisexual woman took the plunge and came out to her conservative Catholic mother. Although her mother didn't completely melt down, she has a ways to go before she reaches acceptance. What will it take to move her mother into the light? Our guest this week is Intimacy Coordinator Yehuda Duenyas. He and Dan talk about what an Intimacy Coordinator does, and whether they should be required on a movie set. How a director's prompt can sometimes be as vague as "They Have Sex" and it's up to the IC to flesh out how that should look to the audience. How portraying scenes of abuse can be wrenching for sensitive male actors. And of course, Dan has Yehuda answer a couple of sex questions too. A little of this conversation is on the Micro and the whole thing is on the Magnum. Finally, is it possible for a man to both come and pee at the same time...in his girlfriend's mouth? Sadly, this is not a theoretical question. Ask Dan ANY kind of question. Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Right now, Helix is offering 27% off site wide. Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now.  This episode is brought to you by Blueland. Going eco has never been easier. Revolutionary, refillable cleaning essentials eliminating single-use plastic. Right now,  get 15% off your first order by going to Blueland.com/Savage This episode is brought to you by VB Health, Doctor-formulated supplements that work . To learn more about Load Boost, Drive Boost and Soaking Wet and to get 10% off, visit VB.Health when you use the code Savage. Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, media darling and creator of the It Gets Better Project. A tireless advocate for ethical conduct within relationships, queer rights, and sexual freedom with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage is a cultural force for sex positivity, when we most need it.
They designed, engineered and built their own fuck box. Dan's question: "So did you upholster it?" Hear all about it, how it fit into the sex party and whether they enjoyed it or not. Do YOU have a perverted tale to tell? Write it up and send it in to Q@Savage.Love.
Savage Love Episode 1007

Savage Love Episode 1007

2026-02-2453:382

A 60 year old woman wonders where she can score some poppers. A lesbian would like to score a queer dominatrix to work her over. On the Magnum, Dan chats with Rich Juzwiak of Slate's love and sex advice column, "How to Do It." They talk about how to make anal sex pleasurable when your partner is very, very, (some might even say "too") well endowed. How too many sex partners can be dangerous. And they discuss age gap relationships: are we are in an age of peak daddy? And, a woman's boyfriend complains that his wiener slips out during sex because she is "too wet." Q@savage.love 206-302-2064 This episode is sponsored by Sundays for Dogs- Dog food using the same ingredients and care you’d use to cook for yourself and your family. Go to sundaysfordogs.com/SAVAGE50 and get 50% off your first order. Or, you can use code SAVAGE50 at checkout. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. This episode is brought to you by VB Health, Doctor-formulated supplements that work . To learn more about Load Boost, Drive Boost and Soaking Wet and to get 10% off, visit VB.Health when you use the code Savage. Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From polyamory, to BDSM, gay rights to sexual health and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has been cultural force for sex positivity since the 1800s.
A woman wanted to try out her dollification kink. So, she and her butch girlfriend went to a lesbian sex party. You may be wondering what do they do to dolls at lesbian sex parties. Listen, and find out. Did you have a wild night recently? Write us at Q@Savage.Love. This episode is brought to you by VB Health, Doctor-formulated supplements that work . To learn more about Load Boost, Drive Boost and Soaking Wet and to get 10% off, visit VB.Health when you use the code Savage.
Savage Love Episode 1006

Savage Love Episode 1006

2026-02-1751:282

A concerned listener asks "Where's the lube?"-specifically about movie scenes showing gay sex. A woman in a red state makes it clear in her dating profiles that she is a leftie. She attracts men who claim to be moderate, but are really stealth MAGA creeps. Why do they do this? Why?! Our Magnum guest is the effervescent internationally renowned human sexuality professor, author, and speaker Dr. Nicole McNichols. In her very popular Diversity of Sexuality class, she gets tied up and whipped as part of a lecture on communication and consent. So. She and Dan talk about the difference between bad sex and traumatic sex. They also dig into the data on why young people are having less sex these days. And, hear the sad tale of a man who was dumped by both his wife AND his goddess. Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Mill, odorless, effortless, fully automated food recycler. Try Mill risk-free for 90 days and get $75 off at Mill.com/Savage and use code Savage at checkout. This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Right now, Helix is offering 27% off site wide. Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now.  This episode is brought to you by VB Health, Doctor-formulated supplements that work . To learn more about Load Boost, Drive Boost and Soaking Wet and to get 10% off, visit VB.Health when you use the code Savage. Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, beard-hater and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From bondage to bisexuality, cuckolding to crossdressing and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage is a cultural force for sex positivity, when we most need it.
Right after her ketamine infusion, she ran home as fast as should could. And then her boyfriend got busy... Have YOU ever seen the face of a lynx in the sky? Didn't think so. Have a sordid, sexy, weird, funny or freaky tale to tell? We are listening... Write it up and send it in to Q@Savage.Love This episode is brought to you by VB Health, Doctor-formulated supplements that work . To learn more about Load Boost, Drive Boost and Soaking Wet and to get 10% off, visit ⁠VB.Health⁠ when you use the code Savage.
You poor, poor people. For Valentine's Day this year, we're going dark and airing some of your most unpleasant break-up stories. Like the woman who learned her husband was cheating on her when she saw the tattoo he got of the other woman's initials on his leg. That sort of thing. You'll hear a few of these stories on the Micro and more on the Magnum. Meanwhile, a married man sneezes uncontrollably after he comes. Why?! Make it stop! A woman begs every man, everywhere to shave his beard. Our Magnum guest is the delightful Adam Zmith- author of Deep Sniff: A History of Poppers Queer Futures. He has recommendations for popper brands and...flavors. Anybody up for some pumpkin spice poppers? And, how soon is too soon to ask your boyfriend to get a vasectomy? Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. Beducated brings pleasure-based sex education right to your bedroom. Kick off your best sex life with Beducated’s awesome, five-minute quiz at https://beducate.me/pd2607-savage.
Some might consider Daniel a very lucky man. He brought one of his 4 girlfriends to a sex party where the men wore tuxedos and the women wore...nothing at all. Oh, and it was a Christmas party. Hear all about it. If you did something totally bonkers and want to tell the wide world about it, write it up and send it in to Q@Savage.Love with the subject line: After Action Report This episode is brought to you by VB Health, Doctor-formulated supplements that work . To learn more about Load Boost, Drive Boost and Soaking Wet and to get 10% off, visit VB.Health when you use the code Savage.
Sex & Politics #42

Sex & Politics #42

2026-02-0525:522

Dan interviews, argues and politely spars with gay evangelical Christian Matthew Vines, author of "God and the Gay Christian." Vines, who is married to his husband since 2022, was a potent advocate for gay marriage. Now he and Dan have a debate about the role of monogamy in gay life and society in general. They both take the gloves off, and somehow remain friends at the end of this long conversation. We are releasing about 20 minutes of it on the Micro version, and the whole thing is on the Magnum, available by subscription at Savage.Love. Check out Matthews book God and the Gay Christian, and his talk on monogamy at The Reformation Project's 2025 Reconcile & Reform Conference.
Yip! Yap! Bite! A woman's little, nasty, needy dogs are anything but "comfort animals" and her girlfriend isn't having it. She refuses to move in with the caller while those tiny beasts are around. Are they fundamentally incompatible? A British woman learned that her husband had sexual experiences with other boys at his British boarding school. She never knew this and finds it shocking. Dan brings on the sexiest survivor of boarding schools that we know- porn star John Thomas. Let John's amazing voice take you on a journey examining situational homosexuality at British boarding schools. And on the Magnum, a man with blood cancer has an enlarged spleen. He's worried that anal sex might cause him harm. Dan brings on anal surgeon Dr. Evan Goldstein to talk about risks, and how sex toys can rearrange your guts...safely. And a woman who is learning about gay intimacy for the first time through "Heated Rivalry" wonders if homo sex goes as fast as it does on the tee-vee. Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Right now, Helix is offering 27% off site wide. Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now.  This episode is brought to you by Blueland. Going eco has never been easier. Revolutionary, refillable cleaning essentials eliminating single-use plastic. Right now,  get 15% off your first order by going to Blueland.com/Savage This episode is brought to you by VB Health, Doctor-formulated supplements that work . To learn more about Load Boost, Drive Boost and Soaking Wet and to get 10% off, visit VB.Health when you use the code Savage. Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From polyamory, to BDSM, gay rights to sexual health and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has been cultural force for sex positivity since the 1800s.
After Action Report #14

After Action Report #14

2026-01-3018:531

A swinging couple found a service that would fulfill their fantasy: a gang bang composed of men she chose. You may never think of gang bangs the same way again. Did you do something amazing? Tell us! Tell us! Q@Savage.Love This episode is brought to you by Feeld, a dating app where the open-minded can meet the like-minded. Download Feeld on the App Store or Google Play.
Savage Love Episode 1003

Savage Love Episode 1003

2026-01-2750:401

Have we reached peak poly drama? A queer woman has been open with her male live-in partner, having lots of great sex with him and others. The problem? His cat won't pay any attention to her. She doesn't feel jealous of the humans in their lives, but this cat! A widowed 81 year-old woman has taken up with her 56 year-old gardener. But he went and confessed to his priest who told him to cut it out. Should she try to convince him to keep loving her up? On the Magnum, enter Eric Williams, comedian and host of That’s A Gay Ass Podcast. Dan torments his very homosexual guest by asking him to answer a question about cunnilingus. Also discussed: What made them gay? And here's a PSA: Please leave the actors of Heated Rivalry alone. And, ethical dilemma ahoy! A divorced woman with kids is enjoying her Cumspringa- hooking up with lots of men and having a great time. She makes up personae for herself, withholding her real name, her job, or that she has kids. Her friend thinks this is immoral and that she should come clean about who she is to her lovers. What do you think? What do you think Dan will say? What Dan says...may shock you. Q@Savage.Love. 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. This episode is brought to you by Mill, odorless, effortless, fully automated food recycler. Try Mill risk-free for 90 days and get $75 off at Mill.com/Savage and use code Savage at checkout. This episode is brought to you by VB Health, Doctor-formulated supplements that work . To learn more about Load Boost, Drive Boost and Soaking Wet and to get 10% off, visit VB.Health when you use the code Savage. Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From bondage to bisexuality, cuckolding to crossdressing and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage is a cultural force for sex positivity, when we most need it.
After Action Report #13

After Action Report #13

2026-01-2315:181

Louis, a self proclaimed cuddle-slut, found exactly what he wanted at the Liquid Love event. Hear ALL about it. If you have a SENSUAL tale to tell, scribble it down and send it in to Q@Savage.Love with the subject line: After Action Report. This episode is brought to you by VB Health, Doctor-formulated supplements that work . To learn more about Load Boost, Drive Boost and Soaking Wet and to get 10% off, visit VB.Health when you use the code Savage.
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Comments (51)

Amanda W

I LOVE Esther Perel! Thank you for having her on!

Jan 11th
Reply

SW

That guy who killed the dog.. wow what a douchebag. He's so passive in his language. It doesn't seem like he feels much remorse, just annoying she no longer wants an open relationship with him.

Oct 22nd
Reply

Peter

The intro is a hoot! It left me with belly laughs..

Aug 9th
Reply (1)

ID20008530

He thinks he’s so righteous, yet he’s a nasty snarky person. I would never want to be in his company.

Jun 11th
Reply

ID20008530

I love how he blames the Reagan’s for letting aids patients die. How about taking responsibility for YOUR choices?

Jun 11th
Reply

Margie Mikliechuk

aaáv

Apr 15th
Reply

Margie Mikliechuk

aaáv

Apr 15th
Reply

Kevin Moldenhauer

Karen alert ⚠️

Feb 13th
Reply

Scoutk Bartholomew

Wow, I really hope the girl heard his response. Always leave a number so he can get back. So emotional. So little was said but it was enough. I hope she found help.

Feb 20th
Reply

Rat Man

I dont think comments on this app actually reach dan or the people associated with the lovecast but i gotta say this: That call from the person who just ended a 5 year relationship hit for me. Im 20 and recently got out of my first "real relationship" and I always put more effort in than she did. Esspecially at the end of things. Dan, your response to that call felt like you were talking directly to me. I've heard you say that "closure is a gift you give yourself" so many times but it really sunk in this time. I also appreciate how you framed your response. You gave the other half of the couple the benefit of the doubt. I always find that when i talk about this with my friends they want to demonize my ex. While my ex did some shitty things i still respect her a lot. I dont want to normalize demonizing an ex as part of my healing process. Anyways. Thank you for this response. Even if it wasnt my question you gave me an answer.

Feb 17th
Reply

beav909

omg you people are sick. Trump spoke of consensual groping among adults. Biden and many other leftist thought leaders are serial abusers who grab women non-consensually.... that's sexual assault. There's a big difference. If any of you radical leftists were honest, you'd scold the creep Biden for actually doing what Trump is wrongfully assumed to have done. It's very difficult listening to you morons.

Jan 5th
Reply (2)

Brian Smith

I'd love to hear your take on the gay community and people who have a disability I am a wheelchair user and gay and have had very very mixed opinions about growing up a gay male black man with a physical disability.

Nov 9th
Reply

Addie Chicola

me q red e

Nov 6th
Reply

Shiea Lieberman

I came to this show because I wanted to go away from politics a little bit and here we go again, it was nice meeting you 😡😡😡😡

Nov 5th
Reply

Kai Edwards

Lose Kelly - I love the political rants

Oct 26th
Reply

Simon Dane

Yeah sorry Kelly ... bye!

Oct 20th
Reply

Mahshid Dodel

🤗🤗🤗

Oct 3rd
Reply

CHYNA HOPKINS

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Aug 11th
Reply

Derbassspieler

I loved that the tech savvy at risk youth sped up the outro 😂

Aug 7th
Reply (1)

Kevin Wages

great show!

Jul 9th
Reply