Stark Conversations

This is Tina. She is a fun-spirited feminist that knows how to inspire and uplift. She is here is to change the conversation about victim-blaming and shaming, especially when women do it to each other!  Tina is a Podcaster, Interviewer, NLP Practioner, and a Women Empowerment Coach. She got her Psychology degree in 2005. In 2018, she started several coaching training courses, and in September 2020, she became a certified Coach. Her motto is: I guide women from where they are now to wherever they want to go! As a podcast host of her very own podcast show, The Women’s Table, she wants to inspire, uplift, support, and empower women worldwide. Tina was born in Surinam and moved to the Netherlands when she was 10 years old. She is married, and in 2019 she moved from the Amsterdam area to a small town village in Friesland, up in the North of The Netherlands.

Meet Anastacia Olympia D Short, a drag queen and self-proclaimed goddess who desires to live her truth. Anastacia (aka Anya For Short) has autism and struggles with anxiety. She is bisexual, secretly dresses in drag, and still lives at home with very conservative parents. Anya wants desperately to live an authentic life, but is still facing fierce opposition from her parents. She shares her story so others who are still struggling to know they aren't alone and hoping one day she will be unapologetic about who she is.

Trigger warning: Sexual and gender based violence Today, I am discussing a recent paper published by Dr. Treena Orchard that explores the subjectivity of safety on one college campus. According to Dr. Orchard's research: 20 to 43% of women and 3 to 29% of men attending American universities have been sexually victimized. In some Canadian provinces, as many as 63% of female students have experienced sexual harassment. Our conversation centers on: How to listen with a feminist ear The subjectivity of safety How safety is set up for the privilege How this study is a reflection of how our society views and handles the ideas of safety How blurring the lines of acceptable behavior leads to violence Why do we need to listen to women when they raise concerns over catcalling and being followed by men What Generation Z is doing to create a safer future for themselves Energetic Indie Rock by LesFM | https://lesfm.net/rock-background-music/ Music promoted by https://www.chosic.com/free-music/all/

Today, on Stark Conversations, I discuss the devaluing of girls and women in the legal system with Jennifer Toon, the Project Director for Lioness Justice Impacted Women’s Alliance. A nonprofit led by formerly incarcerated women who envision a society where all women are spiritually, emotionally, mentally and physically free from violence and harm in the criminal legal system.  Our conversation focuses on: The unique issues girls and women face when they enter and exit the legal system. How investments in intervention prevent acts of survival that many commit that end in incarceration. Menstruation, White Uniforms and shaming in prisons Child Birth in Prisons There is a need for more resources for many women and girls in the legal system compared to men. The extreme lack of temperature control and ready access to water in the prison system. If 95-97% of incarcerated people are released, why are we denying them the resources to heal and recover while incarcerated? Jennifer reminds us that prison is a consequence, not a form of torture designed to dehumanize inmates. The saving grace of sisterhood with incarcerated women.

Hello Friends, In Part 2 of Sexual Harassment, I take you with me as I reclaim my walks on the beach. This episode is a series of recordings I took when I decided it was time for me to go back to where the harassment occurred. I attempted to be candid and genuine in my thoughts and emotions. This is an exercise in understanding the pain and hurt that sexual harassment causes. Even the simplest acts of harassment can leave deep wounds. This is not an opportunity to judge or dismiss. Instead, it is an opportunity to witness, hold space, and understand the need to believe, empathize, and advocate for others. Thanks for listening. Energetic Indie Rock by LesFM | https://lesfm.net/rock-background-music/ Music promoted by https://www.chosic.com/free-music/all/

Hello Friends, Trigger warning: this episode is about sexual harassment.  This episode is a two-parter and a bit different than the others. This is just me talking about an incident of sexual harassment that occurred not too long ago that has left me with many thoughts, revelations, and emotions. Although I am still working through some issues, I wanted to discuss it now.  In this episode, I share what happened, how I felt, how traumatic feelings have affected my brain and body, and how I am attempting to recover and reclaim. This episode is a rough edit. I left it raw because this is what it feels like to be harassed, and our society has trained those who identify as women to swallow it, play it off, or ignore it. There isn't that much empathy for the victim. People must understand how sexual harassment hurts. It is one of the many reasons we need feminism. Thanks for listening. Energetic Indie Rock by LesFM | https://lesfm.net/rock-background-music/ Music promoted by https://www.chosic.com/free-music/all/

Hello Friends, Today I am re-releasing three conversations that I had two years ago with my daughter, Izzy. We recorded these conversations as a mini-podcast and released them on the Instagram account for my business Grace & Grit. However, I thought they were timely for this podcast. While attempting to raise a strong, confident daughter, I wanted to know three things from Z: What was something I got wrong? What did she need from me that I failed to give her? What did I get right? What was the thing that I instilled in her that was most helpful? In general, what do parents of girls need to keep in mind when raising strong confident daughters? I think these conversations are important as we raise the next generation of feminists. When we can cross generational lines we become stronger advocates for one another. These talks keep us wise and grounded as we further the reach of feminism. Parents of littles, there will come a time when you look at your kids and think, who is this inspiring adult? How did I get so lucky? This convo is an example of how Z impresses me. I love the way she calls me to the carpet. These are important moments in the relationships of parent and child. As you listen, these conversations were released individually, please keep in mind these separate convos have been edited together for Stark Conversations. Energetic Indie Rock by LesFM | https://lesfm.net/rock-background-music/ Music promoted by https://www.chosic.com/free-music/all/

Hello friends and welcome back to another Stark Conversation. Today I am learning about a nonprofit in Morocco called Project Soar. It was founded by Maryam Montague. Maryam, a fierce feminist, shares with me how and why she started Project Soar. In doing so, she dives into the ways feminism has helped the girls in her community and highlights some of the issues they face. Specifically, Maryam speaks about: How loopholes in Moroccan law still allow for child marriage- an issue that is still relevant in the United States. How vital period care is for the girls in her community. How the girls in Project Soar are learning to advocate for themselves. The impact feminism is making on mothers and daughters in her area. Although Project Soar started in Morocco, its impact has been so powerful that it now serves girls in Uganda and Syria. This conversation is the perfect illustration of how feminism is a path of empowerment for girls and women all over the world!  Energetic Indie Rock by LesFM | https://lesfm.net/rock-background-music/ Music promoted by https://www.chosic.com/free-music/all/

Hello Friends,  Welcome back! This episode is Part 2 of my conversation with Dr. Martha Rampton. Today we are talking about waves 3 and 4 of Feminism. In particular, we discuss how the 3rd wave deconstructed the words slut and whore while reclaiming feminine sexuality and beauty which significantly contrasts with the 2nd wave.  We ponder the beginning of the 4th wave. Did it start because of politics, or was it already brewing and the political heat of 2016 galvanized the movement? We also discuss how 4th wave feminists have a "come as you are" and "you do you" mindset. Dr. Rampton turns the tables on me. She asks about my involvement with feminism. We discuss how I found it and where I land in the movement. We even dive into my struggles with beauty culture. YIKES! Stay tuned, friends. This episode is a historical and philosophical conversation all rolled into one!

If you are a history buff, then the next two episodes of Stark Conversations are for you. We are getting a lesson about the 4 waves of feminism with Dr. Martha Rampton! This episode is a two-parter because you simply can’t fit the history of feminism into an hour. In fact, we could barely fit it into two hours. So I am sitting down with Dr. Martha Rampton from Pacific University, who wrote a fabulous article on the waves of feminism in the U.S. Dr. Rampton clearly explains the history of feminism in the U.S., highlighting the critical events, the friction between the women, and the outcomes.  In part one, we talk about the Cult of Domesticity, suffrage, what happened to the women after the 19th amendment passed, and where did they go? Then we move into the second wave. We discuss the circumstances that started it. Who were the woman that made up the backbone of the movement, the rebellion of beauty culture, the shortcomings of the middle-class white women in the second wave, and the splintered but effective progress made by the second wave. Stick with me; this is a weighty discussion because, friends, history repeats itself, so we better pay attention to this Stark Conversation.

Oh Friends,  This episode is a good one. It conjures up women dancing around bonfires, chanting, mixing positions, invoking curses and being gagged, bound, and hung.  The Salem Witch Trials.  I wanted to include this topic on Stark Conversations because this is the apex of women being accused of nothing more than being women.  Because there was no chanting, no curses cast, no brooms ridden. Instead, what we find are just people. Every day community members using their voices when wronged, dressing for themselves instead of society, breaking stereotypes, and challenging religious oppression. All topics that feminism embodies. All topics women are judged for in 2023. The lessons we glean from the trials still resonate today. What are we actually doing when we judge others? Deem them as “weak souls,” decide they need Christianity and force testimony and religious doctrine on them? What damage are we inflicting when we make graceless assumptions instead of loving inquiries? Although the Salem Witch Trials happened over 400 years ago, it feels as though humanity has only taken 10 steps forward. We are still judging women, dictating what they should and should not wear, demanding they yield to their husbands, telling them they are the “lesser” and “weaker” partner, and still telling them they are too much, too loud, and overreacting.  Listen to my conversation with the energetic Dr. Wendy Lucas, Salem Witch Trial Extraordinaire, as she talks with me about this time in history. She answers all my questions and then some. We laugh in utter disbelief and empathize with those who were gaslit into believing they could be the devilish witch their neighbors accuse them of being. But most of all, we discuss the wisdom we can take from this confusing and painful time and use it to give humanity advocacy, equity, and healing. Specifically, Dr. Lucas explains:  What circumstances led to accusations of witchcraft.  Why women were viewed as a necessary evil. If the afflicted girls were really having convulsions. The reasons why people, specifically women, were accused of witchcraft. Why gender roles and societal expectations are so crucial to Puritans. Moral Stewardship and how quickly it can get out of hand. The idea of a feminine soul How the trials ended. What amends were made to the accused? What lessons can we learn from this time in history? Friends, I promise this is a good one. As always, if you enjoy it, please leave a review!  Energetic Indie Rock by LesFM | https://lesfm.net/rock-background-music/ Music promoted by https://www.chosic.com/free-music/all/ Creative Commons CC BY 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Meet Marcie Marie. A joyful, wise spirit whose honest stories and insights about her time in a Texas prison have taken TikTok by storm. Marci is blunt, authentic, and determined to use her story as a way to advocate for prison reform. Follow her @marcimarie114.

Jules Weldon and Stace Pierce are the Co-Presidents of O.M.E. Gear, an innovative outdoor gear company. They have won multiple awards and competitions, but their story lies beyond the company—it's one filled with entrepreneur angst, hardships, mistakes, misogyny, and triumph. These two inspirational souls are determined to use their success to benefit others. This is Jules and Stace, A Salty Perseverance.

Jules Weldon and Stace Pierce are the Co-Presidents of O.M.E. Gear, an innovative outdoor gear company. They have won multiple awards and competitions, but their story lies beyond the company—it's one filled with entrepreneur angst, hardships, mistakes, misogyny, and triumph. These two inspirational souls are determined to use their success to benefit others. This is Jules and Stace, A Salty Perseverance.

Trigger Warning- this episode deals with depression and suicide. If you are struggling and need help, please call the suicide hotline at 800-273-8255. Esmé Spock is a married mother of one. She is an animal rescue advocate who loves makeup, painting and horror films. She is a vegan but confesses to horrible cooking skills. I have known Esmé for over a decade but had no idea the story she was living. Esmé confesses to wearing a mask for years as she went through the motions of living, especially when she was volunteering at her son's school. As a mother, her story of mental health resonates deeply. May is Mental Health Month and hosts Mother's Day, which I feel is no coincidence. Esmé's story underscores the space where mental health and mothering intertwine as she continues to peel off the layers of her mask.

Celina is the type of woman who fights for the rights of others. She openly accepts that everyone comes with a story, baggage, and the desire to be heard. Celina is a criminal defense attorney who believes that everyone deserves someone in their corner. She shares with me her story of how she came to be the woman who proudly stands up and represents those that society has deemed criminal. This is Celina.

Welcome back to Part 2 of For Me. Heather continues her conversation with Charli Roanhaus about how she has been deconstructing society's idea of beauty. Charli shares her definition of beauty and heads up- we talk briefly about shapewear and high heels! Both can be touchy subjects for women. But in the end, Charli shares a beautiful message about the spirit of women.

I asked, and you answered. After Texas passed its Heartbeat Law, I asked people to share their stories about abortion. I felt as though no one had given space to the very people this law seemed to affect. I wanted to expose the arguments people give for denying a person autonomy over their body by using your stories to surround and crush those fragile arguments. Your stories are valid, raw, and unapologetic. Thank you for being courageous and sharing them with me.

Meet Tristan, an energetic spirit who is on a quest to help women step into their own ideas of beauty. From an early age, Tristan believed that the definition of beautiful was thin, blonde, and boobs that would attract the boys, but there was a catch. She was not blonde; she didn't consider herself thin, and a medical condition left her with misshapen breasts. As a result, Tristan felt like a prisoner in her body. It would be years before she was confident enough to define beauty for herself. However, once she did, she would set into motion a plan that would help hundreds of women redefine beauty for themselves. Listen as Tristan explains how beauty is freedom from our own expectations. *Music- Dance Around the Campfire by Julias H

"I wanted to be the best little Christian girl." This line makes many of us who grew up in the south wince. When you meet someone in the south, one of the first questions asked is, "Where do you go to church." Christianity is a lifestyle with heavy expectations. For many women, finding their space in a Christian world is stifling. We live in a world that uses the Son of Man to dictate what women can and can not do.  Enter Karina. Karina is a woman who is striving to be her most authentic spiritual self. After graduating from a Southern Baptist School of Theology, she realized her Southern Baptist upbringing left her with more questions than answers. The pressure to be "the best little Christian girl" was taking a toll on her body. Her beliefs stretched beyond the Bible and into a place deep within her that was Divine. And then there was Mary Magdalene, a mysterious woman in the Bible who people ignore or downplay her importance to Jesus. Still, Mary seems to call out to Karina, and Karina is answering the call.