The Save The Marriage Podcast

My car is in for service. It’s just regular maintenance today (fingers crossed).  But there were other cars there for repairs. Which had me thinking…. What does service mean for a relationship?  How about repair for a marriage? The more I thought about it, the more the metaphor fit.  If I do regular maintenance on my car, it by no means guarantees that it won’t break down.  But it does increase the chances of avoiding a roadside breakdown. Let’s be fair:  even the best-maintained vehicles can still break down, still need a repair.  But let’s also be clear that if you have maintained your relationship, it is far less likely to need a repair, and far less likely that it will be costly (I can attest to this after the demise of my first car). Well-maintained marriages are far less likely to hit a crisis — a breakdown.  And if they do hit a crisis, they are better equipped to deal with the crisis and the outcome. In this week’s Save The Marriage Podcast, I cover the process of marriage maintenance (5 steps) and what to do when it is repair time.  Listen below. RELATED RESOURCES Importance of Connection 3 Steps to Saving Your Marriage Dangers of Therapy Grab the Save The Marriage System

Is your marriage infected by the "zombie virus?"  Do you find your relationship to be the "walking dead?"  Are emotions lost and connections missing?  Do you and your spouse respond to each other with "zombie grunts?" The infection can be stopped.  You can fight the infection and heal the relationship. Don't allow the big 4 symptoms of a zombie infection to overtake your relationship's immune system.  Fight back and restore your relationship to the living and the healthy. Okay, to be fair, this is a “tip o’ the hat” to Halloween… but still an important subject! Listen below. RELATED RESOURCES: Pause Button Marriages Dangers of Disconnection "Can This Marriage Be Saved?” The Save The Marriage System

There are some questions that can help a marriage.  There are many thoughts that can improve your relationship. But there is one question that will suck the life right out of a marriage.  And it is a question you don't even need to ask another person, in order to do the damage. In fact, another person won't make a difference for this question.  It is a question lurking within you. Oh, and did I mention that another question, similar to this question -- but very different in direction -- can help restore a relationship? Change the question, change the frame.  Get stuck on the question, get stuck in a downward spiral.  It's up to you. . . once you know the question. Which one are you asking? (Need some help with your marriage?  Grab my Save The Marriage System RIGHT HERE.)

Do you find yourself and/or your spouse anchored to a problem by anxiety or anger?  Guess what? Anger and Anxiety -- they come from the same space!  One is the inner, the other is the outer expression of fear/hurt/threat. And wow, can it ever anchor both of you to the problems -- keeping you from moving to solution. Why does the Anxiety-Anger become an anchor? How do you cut the line and get back on-track to healing your marriage? Listen to today's podcast to learn more on releasing the Anxiety-Anger Anchor. RELATED RESOURCE: Anger and Resentment Why You Need A Plan The Save The Marriage System

Sometimes, people tell me that as they are trying to save their marriage, they actually feel like they are trying to earn back the love of a spouse.  They want to know if that is what it really is -- earning back the love (and even trust). The short answer is NO, that is not the goal. A slightly longer answer is that if you are working to earn back love, you are also working on building a unsustainable and not-very-healthy relationship. That is my topic for this week's Save The Marriage Podcast:  why you are NOT trying to earn back your spouse's love, why that approach is problematic, AND what to do instead. Your marriage can be saved.  But not by trying to earn back your spouse's love. Can the love return to your marriage?  Absolutely. But that doesn't mean it is the goal of the process. (Love isn't earned.  It is given.) RESOURCES Connection and Marriage Building A WE Forgiveness and Marriage Save The Marriage System