The Hook Up

Like we heard in last week’s ep, miscarriages are so common, yet so many people feel alone in their experience. So in this ep, you’ll hear from author Jess Kirkness again - sharing the emotional impact her pregnancy loss had on her, as well as from Miscarriage Australia’s Dr Jade Bilardi and clinical psychologist Clare Bellhouse on how to heal and best support your loved ones.SHOW NOTES:Jess Kirkness Article - https://www.abc.net.au/news/2026-02-21/miscarriage-loss-grief/106308830Miscarriage Australia - https://miscarriageaustralia.com.au/Red Nose Grief and Loss Support Line (1300 308 307): 24/7 support for anyone impacted by miscarriage, stillbirth, or baby death.Pink Elephants Pregnancy Loss Helpline (1300 726 306): Support via PANDA, available Mon-Fri 9am-7:30pm, Sat 9am-4pm AEST.13YARN (13 92 76): 24/7 culturally safe crisis support for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people.Beyond Blue (1300 22 4636): 24/7 support for anxiety and depression.DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

They say don’t judge a book by its cover - but does that mean you should always “give them a chance” if you’re not immediately attracted to someone? In this episode we’re debating whether attraction needs to be instant or can grow over time, are we stringing people along if we wait for it to develop, and have dating apps have killed slowburn romance.SHOW NOTES:Romantic attraction and evolution: New study pinpoints key traits in mate selection:https://www.psypost.org/romantic-attraction-and-evolution-new-study-pinpoints-key-traits-in-mate-selection/The Preferred Traits of Mates in a Cross-National Study of Heterosexual and Homosexual Men and Women:https://www.researchgate.net/publication/6427708_The_Preferred_Traits_of_Mates_in_a_Cross-National_Study_of_Heterosexual_and_Homosexual_Men_and_Women_An_Examination_of_Biological_and_Cultural_InfluencesOUR EP: Unpacking Adolescence, The Manosphere and The 80/20 Rulehttps://www.abc.net.au/triplej/programs/the-hook-up/unpacking-adolescence-the-manosphere-and-the-80-20-rule/105118516DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

Miscarriages and pregnancy loss are so much more common than we might think. But no one really talks about them?! In this ep you’ll hear from Jess Kirkness, a writer who shares her miscarriage story, plus you’ll also hear from gynaecologist Dr Charlotte Elder on why they happen and what to expect. SHOW NOTES:Jess Kirkness Article - https://www.abc.net.au/news/2026-02-21/miscarriage-loss-grief/106308830Red Nose Grief and Loss Support Line (1300 308 307): 24/7 support for anyone impacted by miscarriage, stillbirth, or baby death.Pink Elephants Pregnancy Loss Helpline (1300 726 306): Support via PANDA, available Mon-Fri 9am-7:30pm, Sat 9am-4pm AEST.13YARN (13 92 76): 24/7 culturally safe crisis support for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people.Beyond Blue (1300 22 4636): 24/7 support for anxiety and depression.DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

Everyone knows about the “3 date rule”, but is it always worth the wait? We find out why you’re holding off sex or diving right in, if there’s a magic number of dates before getting intimate and whether having sex too soon can stop a relationship in it’s tracks.SHOW NOTES:YouGov Survey on how long you should wait before having sex:https://today.yougov.com/society/articles/37341-relationships-dating-marriage-sex-milestones-poll?utm_source=chatgpt.comStudies on first-date sex impacting relationships:https://www.datingadvice.com/studies/fdshlthttps://www.mamamia.com.au/sex-on-first-date/Differing relationship outcomes when sex happens before, on, or after first dateshttps://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23121225/DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

When we asked what kind of porn you're into, so many of you told us you love piss play. We chat to sexologist and psychologist Laura Lee on this seemingly common kink/fetish, why it's so hot for some and how to do it well.SHOW NOTES:Laura Lee Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/lauraleesexology/?hl=enDM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

We’ve all been audiences to celebrity splits where dirty laundry gets aired out through podcast tell-all’s, tiktok sprays and album drops - but what about when it happens closer to home? We explore the aftermath of a break up and hear your stories of when you’ve gone public, from openly grieving to spilling secrets, to when you’ve been put on blast by an ex and had the truth twisted. DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

What does the kinda porn you’re into mean? Is it just a fantasy or is it deeper than that?And how do you deal with feelings of shame and guilt if what you like to get off to, doesn’t align with who you are in your everyday life. In this ep, Dee chats to sexologist Lauren French about what your porn taste says about you. SHOW NOTES:Lifeline: 13 11 141800 RESPECT: 1800 737 732 MensLine Australia: 1300 78 99 78 Qlife (Queer support services): 1800 184 527Pornaddiction.com: PornAddiction.com Sex Addiction Australia: https://www.sexaddictionaustralia.com.au/RELATED EPISODES:What Kind Of Porn Are You Into?: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWABwwal8II&list=PLFqO_oqoHHMzFwCWPXOj6CDpOdG3eS8cE&index=1DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

Sometimes what turns you on can throw you for a loop. Maybe you’re straight but love gay porn? Or maybe you consider yourself a staunch feminist, but you get off watching gangbangs or reading CNC smut books? In this episode we find out all the different types of porn you’re loving, and whether your taste in porn aligns with your sexuality, gender and politics.*Content warning* - In this ep we discuss genres of porn that might be confronting to some. We'll be asking follow up questions in our next ep with an expert.DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

Heated Rivalry is one of the hottest, most popular shows right now. So what is it about Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov that's got so many gay men AND women obsessed? We unpack the Canadian 8 episode HBO series with comedian, and host of The Mitch Churi Show, Mitch Churi - and hear why this series has become a cultural turning point for queer love stories.SHOW NOTES:The Mitch Churi Chat Show: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClC22mpuIS85Tj_-U-ENqpgDM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

It sounds great on paper - a friend who you have no-strings-attached, drama free sex with. But is it really possible, and is it worth trying? We hear your experiences with FWB relationships - from when they’ve worked to when they’ve crashed and burned - and your rules to make a successful friends with benefits.DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

Is your partner a massive scroller? Always on their phone for work? Obsessed with watching videos? Being on your phone too much in a relationship can massively impact your connection and intimacy. It’s something professor Dr Michelle Drouin has been studying for years. In this ep, she chats to Dee about her research and how you can chill out on the phone use in your relos. SHOW NOTES:Dee and Pip vodcast episode: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dU_nIC10ptgDr Michelle Drouin - professor of psychology at Purdue University Fort Wayne and research scientist at Parkview Health: https://www.drmichelledrouin.com/Book: Out Of Touch - How To Survive An Intimacy Famine DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

Nearly 70% of you reckon that phones are causing problems in your relationships. From etiquette and icks in early dating, to feeling distant and causing tension with your long term partners - we explore how they’re impacting our love lives, whether they can create intimacy and your rules to curb your “smartphone addiction” (if that’s even a real thing).SHOW NOTES:Phone Addiction: https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/ng-interactive/2024/jan/03/what-is-phone-addiction-definition-science-debateDM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

We're back!!! Dee and Pip yap about their summers. Guess who was sick and who partied non stop. They also debrief Heated Rivalry and let you know what's coming up this year with The Hook Up.DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

ICYMI: Whether it’s for friendship, therapy or sexual and romantic relationships, AI companions are becoming way more normalised. So what does this mean for the way we relate and date people irl? We investigate the rise of AI relationships and hear how you’re using it in your own love lives.CW: discussion of mental health and suicideSHOW NOTES:Mental health and AI companionshttps://www.abc.net.au/news/2025-01-07/ai-chatbot-husbando-waifu-relationships-romance-psychology/104701556Reddit - My Husband Wants To Open Our Marriage To His AI Girlfriend https://www.reddit.com/r/AmIOverreacting/comments/1ltm60b/aio_my_35f_husband_36m_wants_to_open_our_marriage/Can ChatBots Substitute Real Human Romance?https://theconversation.com/computer-love-ai-powered-chatbots-are-changing-how-we-understand-romantic-and-sexual-well-being-234054NY Times podcast - She Fell In Love With ChatGPT https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0tXmc_cYW9Y14 Year Old Boy Takes His Life After AI Chatbot Encourages Himhttps://www.theguardian.com/technology/2024/oct/23/character-ai-chatbot-sewell-setzer-deathAI Companion inciting Sexual violence, abuse, terror attackshttps://theconversation.com/an-ai-companion-chatbot-is-inciting-self-harm-sexual-violence-and-terror-attacks-252625DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

ICYMI: If you’re not feeling great mentally, or you want to work through some things, or you’ve just gone through a big life event - you might be thinking about getting some professional help. Starting therapy can feel super overwhelming if you’ve never done it before, so in this ep we chat to clinical psychologist Dr Jarrod White about everything you need to know about going to therapy for the first time. SHOW NOTES:Dr Jarrod White - Beyond Therapy Room  The Body Keeps The Score - Bessel Van Der Kolk The Courage To Be Disliked - Ichiro Kishimi, Fumitake Koga Lost Connections - Johann HariDM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

Keen to have a threesome for the first time but duno how to go about it?Dee chats to sexologist Laura Lee about all the different ways you can have a threeway. SHOW NOTES:How Are You Having Threesomes? VOD: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7El-yUPxPMw&t=3sDM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

So you wanna get back with your ex. It’s a pretty universal experience and you told us heaps of reasons why you tried to rekindle the relationship - whether it’s emotional dependency, needing closure or the whole “it’ll be different this time!”. We hear your stories from when it’s worked, when it hasn’t, and if there’s a formula to getting it right. SHOW NOTES:Should You Get Back With Your Ex or Move On?: https://www.abc.net.au/triplej/programs/the-hook-up/getting-back-together-with-ex-break-up-move-on-liz-neal/105749268DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

Have you ever dated someone who's family was too involved, or a bit too close? Whether it’s your own or your partners - we hear how families with no boundaries, cultural/religious differences, and mummy’s boys/daddy’s girls have messed with your love life.SHOW NOTES:An Expert’s Advice For Dealing With Toxic Families: https://www.abc.net.au/triplej/programs/the-hook-up/families-no-boundaries-toxic-relationships-dr-lillian-nejad/105154746DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

We’re coming to the end of a massive year covering all things love, sex, dating and relationships here on The Hook Up. From the male loneliness epidemic and the rise of AI relationships, to the rise of ENM, performative males, fake doms and boyfriends being embarrassing - we recap all the trends in news and pop culture that got you talking, plus hear your fav eps from 2025!SHOW NOTES:Hack story on AI Relationship study on relationshipshttps://www.abc.net.au/triplej/programs/hack/ai-chatbots-accelerating-loneliness-epidemic/105931188Is Being A Pick Me Or Performative Male Problematic?https://www.abc.net.au/triplej/programs/the-hook-up/is-being-a-pick-me-or-performative-male-problematic-/105889546How To Actually Have A Good Threesomehttps://www.abc.net.au/triplej/programs/the-hook-up/how-to-have-a-threesome-tips-sexologist-find-unicorn-third-sex/105315188Do I Have A Sex/Porn Addiction?https://www.abc.net.au/triplej/programs/the-hook-up/sex-porn-addiction-sex-addict-heide-mcconkey-compulsive-sexual-/105895896How Often Should I Be Having Sex?https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQ35yOTAfyo&list=PLFqO_oqoHHMzFwCWPXOj6CDpOdG3eS8cE&index=9How To Deal With Mismatched Libidohttps://www.abc.net.au/triplej/programs/the-hook-up/mismatched-libidos-different-low-sex-drives-laura-lee-sexologist/105812842Is Everyone ENM Now?https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g9L7gf5TR5QHow To Do Non-Monogamy Ethicallyhttps://www.abc.net.au/triplej/programs/the-hook-up/open-up-relationship-ethical-non-monogamy-chris-cheers-polyamory/105506070Why Are There So Many Fake Doms?https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ngg8KHqrSgoPeriod Farts, Cum Headaches & The Science Of Kinks w/ Dr Evahttps://www.abc.net.au/triplej/programs/the-hook-up/science-week-sex-questions-fertility-periods-orgasms-libido-kink/105616942Science Of Squirting And How To Do Ithttps://www.abc.net.au/triplej/programs/the-hook-up/science-squirting-orgasm-ejaculation-how-to-squirt/105643192DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

If your friend is dating someone that sucks, or is downright toxic - what’s the best way to let them know? In this ep, you’ll hear from psychologist Liz Neal about how to tell someone you love that you don’t like their partner and what to do if your friend pushes you away.  SHOW NOTES:1800 Respect: 1800 737 732 Liz Neal Website: https://www.elizabethneal.com.au/DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.