Zencare Podcast

“Our practice doesn't ask us how to end wars, it asks us where the wars begin. In this body. In this flash of rage. In this certainty that I am right and you are wrong.”Amid news of global conflicts and war, Chodo Sensei offers a profound reflection on the second Buddhist precept: do not steal. But what does stealing mean when the world is organized around taking; lives, safety, homes, childhood, trust, and ultimately, humanity itself?Drawing on Suzuki Roshi's teaching about entering the Buddha Hall with clean feet and the classic Zen story of the samurai and the master, Chodo explores how war begins long before bombs fall. It begins when we steal each other's humanity through language that turns people into targets, grief into statistics, and suffering into abstraction. It begins in the mind that divides the world into “us and them.”With students sheltering from bombs in multiple countries, this isn't abstract philosophy, it's an urgent question: How do we sit with the sorrow of the world without collapsing into it? How do we notice our own anger without weaponizing it? How do we refuse to let suffering become something “out there” that we're not part of?

“When you encounter obstacles, do not see them as hindrances separate from practice.”In this talk from the beginning of the year (and in preparation for the Year of the Fire Horse), Koshin Sensei reflects on what it really means to make effort. Not as self-improvement, but as a vow to be fully here.Drawing on Dōgen’s teachings on continuous practice, he offers simple, direct questions we can live inside: How are you using your time? How are you caring for your body, (the personal and the collective)? Do your investments of time, finances, energy, etc. support what you say you value? And can you meet obstacles not as interruptions, but as the very field of practice?This talk is both grounding and bracing: a reminder that practice and realization are not separate, that there’s no “arrival,” and the most honest measure of our practice might be how the people around us experience it.With humor and warmth, Koshin invites us to return, again and again, to uprightness in this moment, and to a life shaped less by habit energy and more by vow.

“Many people can study lots of things, but are you living that way?”On the 12th day of our Commit to Sit, during a winter blizzard, Koshin Sensei explores a profound question: What's the difference between talking about spiritual practice and actually living it?Drawing on teachings from Suzuki Roshi and the 13th-century Zen master Dogen, Koshin examines how we often get caught in our thoughts; arguing with teachers in our minds, feeding our sense of entitlement, constantly debating whether we're “doing it right.” But what would it be like to simply be ourselves, our ordinary selves, without all that noise?At the heart of this talk is the concept of “transmission” from teacher to student, not as something claimed or awarded, but as something shown through how we live. Koshin asks us to consider: Do we practice only when it's convenient? Do we use spirituality as an identity or a lifestyle brand rather than a lived commitment? And perhaps most importantly: How do we practice when we're alone, when no one is watching?Koshin also reflects on his own struggles with “why not me?” and shares Dogen's wisdom about safeguarding genuine practice in a world that makes it easy to dilute or neglect.

“Each in breath is bringing life into the body, and each out breath is a death. We never know if there'll be another inhale.”On the third day of our recent Winter Sesshin (silent retreat), Chodo Sensei offers a profound teaching on the practice of bowing and the art of surrendering the constructed self. Through the story of Gray Wolf and Zen Master Raven, he explores why true bowing leaves no self left to be humiliated; it is awakening expressing itself.Chodo Sensei shares his own journey with body dysmorphia, addiction recovery, and the physical limitations that now prevent him from doing full prostrations. With characteristic honesty and humor, he reminds us that sesshin is “not a spa weekend”, it's rigorous practice that asks us to surrender to the forms, the discomfort, and our resistance itself.Drawing on Naomi Shihab Nye's poem “Kindness,” he invites us to consider: What stories are we holding onto? Can we surrender to this practice as it is, releasing our expectations of “huge awakenings” and bright lights, and instead bow to reality as it unfolds, moment by moment, breath by breath?

“The best way to observe precepts is just to be you yourself and then the precepts are always with you.”What does it mean to “be yourself” in Zen, not as self-improvement, but as a direct, embodied intimacy with life as it is?We were honored to recently host Jiryu Rutschman-Byler, co-abbot of the San Francisco Zen Center, at our zendo in New York for this moving dharma talk on the newly released collection of Shunryu Suzuki Roshi’s teachings, Becoming Yourself, that Jiryu and the late Sojun Mel Weitsman were co-editors on.Beginning with the simple form of upright posture, he offers vivid images; zazen as a chrysalis in which we can “melt,” thoughts like a bagel wrapper that’s useful until we keep holding it, and practice as “sharing the feeling” of right here, right now.In the latter half of the talk, Jiryu also explores Suzuki Roshi’s radical view of precepts: not moralism or rule-following, but the natural expression of a life that remembers its place in the cosmos and a self that includes everything, past, present, and future.We hope you enjoy this dharma talk and that you'll join us for our upcoming Commit to Sit, in which Becoming Yourself will be our guiding text!MUSICHeart Sutra by Kanho Yakushiji – Buddhist priest and musician of the Rinzai sect and Imaji temple in Imabari, Japan. In 2003, he formed “KISSAQUO”, a songwriting duo based in Kyoto.‍NYZC PUBLICATIONSUntangled here: https://bit.ly/untangled-bookWholehearted: Slow Down, Help Out, Wake Up here: https://amzn.to/2JTKF1tAwake At The Bedside here: https://amzn.to/3aijXdL‍‍CONNECT WITH US—Instagram—Facebook—Donate

“Settling down is a protest against a society that values speed.”We share this opening talk from our last Commit to Sit in honor of our upcoming 90-day program starting this January.In it, Koshin sensei invites us into studying Shakyamuni Buddha's final teaching on becoming a great person, explored through Dogen Zenji's commentary and Uchiyama Roshi's wisdom.Through powerful stories of the Buddha stopping Angulimala mid-chase, Ryokan wishing he could give away the moonlight, a student rubbing fire sticks until they see flame, Koshin explores the eight qualities of an awakened life: having few desires, knowing one has enough, appreciating serenity, making diligent effort, and more.Koshin shares what it means to live with both hands, to let everything drop, and to become the good adult who can nourish deep roots so that when the winds come, there's no reason to fear.MUSICHeart Sutra by Kanho Yakushiji – Buddhist priest and musician of the Rinzai sect and Imaji temple in Imabari, Japan. In 2003, he formed “KISSAQUO”, a songwriting duo based in Kyoto.‍NYZC PUBLICATIONSUntangled here: https://bit.ly/untangled-bookWholehearted: Slow Down, Help Out, Wake Up here: https://amzn.to/2JTKF1tAwake At The Bedside here: https://amzn.to/3aijXdL‍‍CONNECT WITH US—Instagram—Facebook—Donate

“They will not ask me why I wasn't Moses. They will ask, ‘why weren't you Zosia? Why weren't you more yourself?’”On the 82nd day of our recent Commit to Sit, Koshin Paley Ellison delivered this dharma talk on the Buddha's final teaching about useless and frivolous discussion.Drawing from Dogen's commentaries and the Buddha's last instructions, Koshin asks how much of our day we spend entertaining confusion versus actually practicing presence.Through humor and honesty, this talk illuminates how our tight grip on wanting things to be different than they are creates suffering and loneliness. Koshin shares the story of Rabbi Zosia and Suzuki Roshi's teaching on “becoming yourself,” clarifying that this doesn't mean reinforcing our opinions, but becoming more ourselves with everyone. A call to soften wherever we're holding too tight, discriminate what's truly wise, and practice the beautiful way together.MUSICHeart Sutra by Kanho Yakushiji – Buddhist priest and musician of the Rinzai sect and Imaji temple in Imabari, Japan. In 2003, he formed “KISSAQUO”, a songwriting duo based in Kyoto.‍NYZC PUBLICATIONSUntangled here: https://bit.ly/untangled-bookWholehearted: Slow Down, Help Out, Wake Up here: https://amzn.to/2JTKF1tAwake At The Bedside here: https://amzn.to/3aijXdL‍‍CONNECT WITH US—Instagram—Facebook—Donate

“The truth had never been expounded before because the time to do so had not yet come. Now is the time to drop the story about what should have happened.”What if your practice wasn’t about self-improvement, but about opening the door of Buddha wisdom for all beings?Drawing on Chapter Two of the Lotus Sutra, Koshin Sensei speaks about skillful means, our wildly different capacities, and the confusion we create when we cling to comfort or try to please everyone.He introduces the fierce energy of Fudō Myō-o, the immovable one who protects the Dharma in the midst of fire, and asks how we might welcome all our aspects, whether rage, tenderness, confusion, and clarity, into the assembly of our lives.With humor and tenderness, he points us toward a life guided by vow rather than habit.MUSICHeart Sutra by Kanho Yakushiji – Buddhist priest and musician of the Rinzai sect and Imaji temple in Imabari, Japan. In 2003, he formed “KISSAQUO”, a songwriting duo based in Kyoto.‍NYZC PUBLICATIONSUntangled here: https://bit.ly/untangled-bookWholehearted: Slow Down, Help Out, Wake Up here: https://amzn.to/2JTKF1tAwake At The Bedside here: https://amzn.to/3aijXdL‍‍CONNECT WITH US—Instagram—Facebook—Donate

“There is no enemy except our delusion, and even that, when bound to the path, becomes a place of support.”In this talk, Koshin Sensei reflects on the ancient figure of Fudo Myo-o, the “Immovable Wisdom King”, and the role of the abbot as one who stands on the stone mountain in the midst of fire.Drawing on the Lotus Sutra’s parable of the burning house, he invites us to bind everything to the path: our fears, our demons, our need to control the future, even our suffering storylines.Rather than making enemies of our difficulties, we learn to let them become protectors and Dharma gates, burning away what no longer serves and revealing an unwavering vow at the heart of our lives.MUSICHeart Sutra by Kanho Yakushiji – Buddhist priest and musician of the Rinzai sect and Imaji temple in Imabari, Japan. In 2003, he formed “KISSAQUO”, a songwriting duo based in Kyoto.‍NYZC PUBLICATIONSUntangled here: https://bit.ly/untangled-bookWholehearted: Slow Down, Help Out, Wake Up here: https://amzn.to/2JTKF1tAwake At The Bedside here: https://amzn.to/3aijXdL‍‍CONNECT WITH US—Instagram—Facebook—Donate

“A good teacher will take the mask off your face.”In this recent drama talk, Koshin Sensei reflects on the first two chapters of the Lotus Sutra. There is a crowd gathering to hear the Buddha teach, millions of beings of all kinds. One of the Buddha's disciples is repeatedly imploring the Buddha to speak and the Buddha finally agrees. Just as he is about to address the crowd, five thousand monks stand up, bow, and leave. Koshin reflects on why these monks left and what we can learn from mutinous groups among and within us. How are we practicing with the dissenters? Are we really listening, carefully pondering or are we convinced we already know? The practice humbles our arrogance and sangha is often a 'messy middle' where everything is not so clear but all are welcome. Together we can learn and practice and start again. ‍MUSICHeart Sutra by Kanho Yakushiji – Buddhist priest and musician of the Rinzai sect and Imaji temple in Imabari, Japan. In 2003, he formed “KISSAQUO”, a songwriting duo based in Kyoto.‍NYZC PUBLICATIONSUntangled here: https://bit.ly/untangled-bookWholehearted: Slow Down, Help Out, Wake Up here: https://amzn.to/2JTKF1tAwake At The Bedside here: https://amzn.to/3aijXdL‍‍CONNECT WITH US—Instagram—Facebook—Donate

“The wisdom of the Buddhas is infinitely profound and immeasurable... and that door is difficult to understand and difficult to enter when we believe our stories.”In this recent dharma talk, Koshin Sensei reflects on becoming an “assistant gardener” whose job is to sit zazen with the plants, learning to practice not just for ourselves, but with all beings.Drawing from the opening chapters of the Lotus Sutra, Koshin explores what it means to sit in the middle of life without excluding anything or anybody, even in the face of terminal illness, fear, and uncertainty.Through tender stories, including a friend facing death with curiosity and wonder, this talk illuminates how the wisdom of the Buddhas is “infinitely profound and immeasurable,” not something to understand intellectually but to embody.Koshin offers practical guidance on working with fear, releasing our stories, and practicing “soft belly” awareness rather than overthinking.‍MUSICHeart Sutra by Kanho Yakushiji – Buddhist priest and musician of the Rinzai sect and Imaji temple in Imabari, Japan. In 2003, he formed “KISSAQUO”, a songwriting duo based in Kyoto.‍NYZC PUBLICATIONSUntangled here: https://bit.ly/untangled-bookWholehearted: Slow Down, Help Out, Wake Up here: https://amzn.to/2JTKF1tAwake At The Bedside here: https://amzn.to/3aijXdL‍‍CONNECT WITH US—Instagram—Facebook—Donate

“When I forget who I am, I return to the Buddha. When I’m lost in confusion, I return to the Dharma. When I feel alone, I return to the Sangha.”In this tender and luminous talk, Chodo Sensei reflects on the Three Refuges of Buddhism—Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha—through the lens of impermanence, community, and compassion. With stories of accompanying his dear friend Rande in her final days, and reflections on awakening amid global unrest, Chodo reminds us that refuge is not found in escape, but in presence.To take refuge, he says, is to return, again and again, to what is real:the Buddha within each of us, the Dharma revealed in every moment, and the Sangha that holds us when life unravels.This talk invites us to wake up to grief, to change, to each other, and to remember that the path of practice is nothing less than the ongoing act of returning home.‍MUSICHeart Sutra by Kanho Yakushiji – Buddhist priest and musician of the Rinzai sect and Imaji temple in Imabari, Japan. In 2003, he formed “KISSAQUO”, a songwriting duo based in Kyoto.‍NYZC PUBLICATIONSUntangled here: https://bit.ly/untangled-bookWholehearted: Slow Down, Help Out, Wake Up here: https://amzn.to/2JTKF1tAwake At The Bedside here: https://amzn.to/3aijXdL‍‍CONNECT WITH US—Instagram—Facebook—Donate

“I love birthdays because they remind us: I was born, and I’m going to die. This is my one shot.”In this talk from his birthday this past Sunday, Koshin Sensei reflects on the gift of being alive and the simplicity of a nourishing life.Drawing on the teachings of Bodhidharma (who, legend has it, share's Koshin Sensei's birthday), he explores the four all-inclusive practices: suffering injustice, adapting to conditions, seeking nothing, and practicing the Dharma.Through humor, tenderness, and vivid stories—childhood friends reuniting in the zendo, watching the sunrise, creating our own suffering by dragging favorite stories out of the cupboard—Koshin reminds us that awakening begins in the ordinariness of our lives.What happens when we stop laying on the horn of our feelings and trust our actual experience rather than our preferences?Discover why feeling unimportant is liberating, and how to give your time and attention without needing recognition for it.

“The true way is not something bestowed by others... it is found in the depths of your own heart-mind.”On the 68th day of our recent Commit to Sit, Koshin Sensei reflects on teachings from Shakyamuni Buddha, Dogen Zenji, and Uchiyama Roshi, reminding us that practice never ends—not even for the great teachers.Through stories both profound and playful (including an unexpected giant Labubu doll appearing in the zendo), he challenges us to see failure not as weakness but as the essence of practice.How can we stop outsourcing our meaning to external forces, and to notice how often we grasp, like zombies, for validation instead of simply living?This talk invites us back to the simplicity of wholehearted practice, to embrace life as it is, and to rediscover freedom in letting go of the endless search for more.

“The discipline of zazen is the refusal to be manipulated by your own mind.”In this talk, Koshin Sensei reflects on the liberating power of discipline, the courage to make effort, and the serenity that comes not from outer conditions but from the clarity of mind itself. Drawing on the teachings of Shakyamuni Buddha, Dōgen Zenji, and Uchiyama Roshi, he explores how daily reverence for concentration allows the Dharma (wisdom) to flourish in our lives. From the story of Dōgen meeting the tenzo (head cook at a monastery) who walked 20 miles for mushrooms to the simple mirror-like nature of zazen, this talk invites us to return again and again to the freshness of the present moment.

"A boat without a rudder drifts with the current, sometimes slowly, sometimes quickly, but always away from the true shore."In this recent dharma talk, Koshin Sensei invites us to reflect deeply on what it means to “not lose sight of true dharma.” Drawing from Shakyamuni Buddha’s final teachings and Dogen Zenji’s commentary, Koshin reminds us that vigilance and effort are not punishments but the armor and encampment that protect us from distraction, defensiveness, and the pull of the senses. With humor and tenderness, he shows us how forgetting is simply the natural drift of an unmoored mind, and how remembering, again and again, brings us back to clarity, presence, and freedom.

“The challenge is not sustaining the silence (on retreat), but bringing the silence with you when you leave.”In this dharma talk from the final day of our recent summer silent retreat, Chodo sensei explores what it means to practice without seeking reward.Through the powerful story of 13th-century nun Mugai Nyodai, whose awakening came when the bottom fell out of her water bucket, and a poem by Marie Howe about a dog transfixed by moonlight, this talk explores mushotoku: the art of gaining nothing.Throughout the talk, Chodo weaves together intimate stories of caregiving, the challenges of spiritual ego, and the paradox of diligent effort (“shojin”) that aims to attain nothing. From cleaning a dying friend to a hospital chaplain learning to practice without robes, discover how true shojin means showing up fully present—not to become something, but to be with what is without clinging.

“Sangha (community) is not a retreat from suffering but a mirror to it.”In this lively and direct dharma talk, Koshin Sensei invites us to explore what it truly means to cultivate serenity and quietude; not as an escape from life’s messiness, but as a way of meeting it fully. Drawing on a Jataka (lives of the historical Buddha) tale of a hollow tree, teachings from our Zen ancestors, Dogen Zenji and Uchiyama Roshi, and reflections on the challenges and beauty of Sangha life, Koshin reminds us that impermanence is the very nature of awakening. True quietude, he says, is “settling down in the deepest meaning of your own life,” even when the winds are strong and the mud is thick. Rather than clinging to what appears sturdy or avoiding discomfort, we are invited to stay, to be changed by continuous practice (like robes slowly moistened by the mist) and to discover serenity right in the heart of our lives, together.

In this dharma talk, Koshin Sensei shares a day of stark contrasts: one meeting filled with praise — “You’re awesome, the best teacher” — followed by another with harsh criticism — “You’re the worst, no good, unhelpful.”How do we meet the swings between feeling wonderful and feeling terrible? How do we strive to “be on the right side of history” in a world that is both brutal and beautiful?Koshin invites us into Uchiyama Roshi’s teaching of Having Few Desires, exploring what it means to rest with dissatisfaction rather than trying to fix or erase it. As we are taught:“Gloom, anger, or offense can never be resolved by continually being gloomy, angry, or offended.Only by letting go of gloom, anger, or offense can those feelings subside.”We cannot simply swing to the opposite of what we’re feeling, Koshin says. Instead, we return to the practice of zazen (seated meditation); to seeing precisely and wholeheartedly.

“Zen is not interested in making us feel good. It is about being real. Sometimes this feels good. Sometimes this feels awful.”In this dharma talk, Koshin Sensei celebrates the graduates of our Contemplative Medicine Fellowship, reflects on the teachings of Dogen guiding our current ango period (Commit to Sit), and invites us to ask: What are the roots of goodness?It’s a question that feels both timely and timeless. Koshin reminds us that goodness means taking responsibility for who we are and how we live. We atone for our missteps, honor our resets, and stay in relationship — even when it’s uncomfortable.With gentle clarity, he encourages us to notice our cravings, our attachments to comfort, and the way they can obstruct connection — with ourselves and with others. May we meet this moment as we are. That is everything.