Sex, Love, and Addiction

Dr. Rob and Justin Bridges, author and expert on sexual sobriety and healing, continue their discussion about the rigorous process of healing – what it takes to fully commit, realistic time lines, and the importance of embracing imperfections while seeking perfection. Their conversation is filled with advice for ways to flood an addict’s life with sobriety so that you can finally drown out the disease.    TAKEAWAYS: [2:30] Radical change was essential for Justin’s recovery.  [6:12] Realistic timelines in lasting recovery.  [8:21] Accepting imperfections while seeking perfection.  [11:30] Inexpensive tactics that supported Justin along the way.  [16:10] Accessing your emotions when you stop acting out.  [18:48] What is a recovery program?  [23:00] Recovery after the loss of relationships.  [26:25] Flood your life with sobriety.  [30:22] Add more recovery to drown out the addiction.  [32:01] Seeking validation in healthy ways.  [35:00] Becoming a true gentle-man.    RESOURCES: Sex and Relationship Healing @RobWeissMSW Sex Addiction 101  Seeking Integrity Free Sexual Addiction Screening Assessment Partner Sexuality Survey   Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.    QUOTES:   “I started to focus my small wins into the belief that greater change might be possible.”  “You’ll have more access to your emotions when you aren’t acting out.”  “If I put myself in the middle of the recovery pack, I’m going to be safer.”  “Find a meeting you can live for. You’ll know when you get there.” 

Dr. Rob is joined by Justin Bridges, author and expert on sexual sobriety and healing. Together they explore the early experiences that led Justin to seek sobriety at age 17, the importance of support groups in recovery, and the healing journey that has led a sexually sober Justin to finally live the life that he has always wanted.    TAKEAWAYS: [2:04] Seeking sobriety at age 17.  [4:00] Justin’s rock bottom moment.  [7:11] “I’ll show up and listen, but I’m not giving up anything.”  [7:45] The power of support groups.  [8:51] The role models that encouraged Justin’s destructive behavior.  [11:00] Trying to bring his deceased mother back.  [14:02] Rigorous, brazen behavior of an addict.  [15:42] Justin’s life today, and how long it took him to get here.  [19:00] What does addict father behavior look like?  [22:45] Characteristics of a healthy relationship.  [27:01] Finding balance and respect in attraction.    RESOURCES: Sex and Relationship Healing @RobWeissMSW Sex Addiction 101  Seeking Integrity Free Sexual Addiction Screening Assessment Partner Sexuality Survey   Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.    QUOTES:   “I was proud of my behavior, but I see now that I was just an addict.”  “Now, I do not wish to be the arbiter of anyone’s sex conduct.”  “Eventually, I had to surrender to new levels of sobriety.”  “My healthy relationhip came from recovery, and it has evolved through recovery.” 

Dr. Rob and Jena Jake continue their conversation about finding healthy relationships that you can model, the role of grief in love and healing, and tactics to empower yourself today, no matter what your healthy or unhealthy relationships with a spouse, partner, child or parent might look like.    TAKEAWAYS: [1:24] Pushing back against powerful but unhealthy attachments.  [6:10] How could I not have know this was happening?  [8:08] Making improvements within yourself. [9:56] The role of grief in love and healing.  [12:32] When is it finally time to stop and say no?  [16:10] Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself.  [19:26] Tactics to empower yourself now. [22:05] Identifying the patterns that create your actions. [26:15] Jena’s final advice for empowerment.    RESOURCES: Sex and Relationship Healing @RobWeissMSW Sex Addiction 101  Seeking Integrity Free Sexual Addiction Screening Assessment Partner Sexuality Survey   Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.    QUOTES: “Change your familiar and your baseline for relationships.”  “You’re not trying to get someone, you’re trying to become someone.”  “It’s time to stop self-abandoning and start moving forward.”  “Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself.”  “Empowering yourself empowers other people.” 

Dr. Rob is joined by compatibility specialist Jena Jake. Together they discuss the power of feeling a pain so strong that you are finally ready to stop self-abandoning. They explore the importance of awareness and boundaries, what it looks like to build a life alone, and strategies for carefully choosing the self-talk and blaming that so many of us face in unhealthy relationships.    TAKEAWAYS: [2:03] Jena’s transition from marital therapy to executive coaching.  [3:35] What are we looking for when choosing a partner?  [6:07] Identifying patterns that feel like love.  [8:42] Jena’s ABA formula, including awareness and healthy boundaries.  [12:24] Your inner self needs you to stop giving yourself away.  [15:10] Facing your wake up moment.  [17:00] Yes, you can build a life alone. [17:53] Seen, safe, supported, sought after and satisfied.  [22:28] Rebuilding trust after betrayal.  [27:55] Be careful about self-talk and blame.  [29:50] Jena’s healing journey.    RESOURCES: Sex and Relationship Healing @RobWeissMSW Sex Addiction 101  Seeking Integrity Free Sexual Addiction Screening Assessment Partner Sexuality Survey   Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.    QUOTES: “What feels familiar isn’t always what’s aligned or what’s good for you.”  “Stop setting yourself on fire to keep everyone else warm.”  “You may not have gotten better, but you did deserve better.”  “I don’t have to trust you, but I do have to trust myself.” 

Dr. Rob, Beth Kelley, and Dr. Brett Kennedy continue their conversation about the many faces of loneliness. They consider the challenge and impact of technology on authentic relationships, explore Dr. Rob’s recent experience with ChatGPT, and reflect on the hard work that is creating human connection and combatting loneliness every single day.    TAKEAWAYS: [1:25] What about partners who are physically together but not connected?  [4:58] The role of ChatGPT and social media in loneliness.  [9:20] Seeking connecting is not simple work.  [12:30] How to regulate when you’re feeling overstimulated.  [14:32] Acceptance of what is over what you want there to be. [16:21] Loneliness in the face of technology.  [22:04] Interpersonal relationships have to be two-way.  [26:40] Loneliness and betrayal in marriage.  [29:06] Connecting with Both and Brett.    RESOURCES: Sex and Relationship Healing @RobWeissMSW Sex Addiction 101  Seeking Integrity Free Sexual Addiction Screening Assessment Partner Sexuality Survey   Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.    QUOTES: “What is the connection that I’m seeking to make when I’m reaching for my phone?”  “Combating loneliness is hard work. It’s the work of being human.”  “Acceptance is not always endorsement.”  “Until you’re actually interacting with other humans, technology use will put you at a disadvantage.”