Horror Movie Talk

Synopsis When 2 20 something wanna be content creators find an opportunity to get views, Ben and Tina travel to a remote location to film their experience in an underwater home. After extreme flooding, the building sank into a local lake, making it the perfect spot for inexperienced divers to explore for YouTube. As things start to go south while deep in the house, the couple learns that this is no ordinary house, but a deep house. A Deep house with deep secrets. Review of The Deep House The Deep House is a novel idea with poor execution. Almost the entirety of the film is done underwater, which must have been incredibly hard to accomplish. I heard that most of the movie was filmed in a large swimming pool, which gives it a unique vibe. Unfortunately, it seems that the filmmakers were wholly incapable of capitalizing on this. There is almost no plot, and the plot that is there is so minimal that the characters hardly have time to explain it to you. There’s a house underwater, some evil happened there, and evil will continue to happen. Why? Cause it’s a spooky haunted house horror movie. That’s what is supposed to happen. It feels shallow, pun absolutely intended, and I couldn’t wait for it to be over. Side note, lighting the set underwater must have been a nightmare, but as much as I want to give the crew their flowers, they did not do good enough. I couldn’t see what was going on in so many scenes, and that is probably because a flashlight underwater does not show up well on screen, but they should have done something because what the actual hell. The movie is so dark. I hope they do better in Deep House 2: Deeper House. Score: 2/10

Synopsis Bella is a 17 year old girl who just moved to the small town of forks to live with her father. As she begins to make new friends at her highschool she runs into a very handsome and very mysterious Edward Cullins. He is tall, pale, and very moody. The perfect speciman. As Bella begins to fall for Edward she learns about his dark and sparkly secret. He is a 120 year old vampire. The insane age gap aside, the two begin dating, but soon a traveling group of vampires come to the town to tear the love-bats apart. Review of Twilight Twilight is an objectively bad movie. Luckily I think it falls into the category of “so bad its good”. The dialogue is awkward, the acting is so bad it hurts. Its specifically geared towards teenage girls who fantasize about unhealthy relationships with undead monsters, making it an uncomfortable watch for a 27 year old man. But I do think those things are what makes it charming. I was watching this with my wife and we were laughing and talking throughout the whole movie, making it a pretty enjoyable movie experience. It isnt a good movie, but it can be a good time. Score: 3/10

Synopsis A small town lawyer Kevin Lomax is on a winning streak when he is recruited by a big New York City law firm. With significant wealth, and a beautiful place in the city on the horizon Kevin leaves with wife Mary Ann to pursue his dreams. It seems like he could really have it all, but beneath the glamour of his new life, Kevin discovers that winning comes at a price. His ambition grows into an obsession, and the more he indulges in his newfound wealth and power the further he drifts from the man he used to be. As Marry Ann’s mental health begins to deteriorate Kevin struggles to hang on to his humanity as he is tested by his biggest competitor yet, the devil himself.  Review of The Devil’s Advocate The film definitely speaks to the times especially horror and suspense in cinema. Thematically it’s a reflection of our inner most struggles in humanity in a dark yet fun way. The acting teeters between spot on and over the top depending on the scene. But undoubtedly brings a star studded cast. Al Pacino is at his most Pacino bringing life and energy to every scene he is in. Keanu does his best but at times can come off a little cheesy losing points for me. Charlize puts her all into the role and you can really tell. I love the relationship Kevin and his wife have. It’s beautiful, loving, passionate and then the depiction of its deterioration packs a punch  While the supernatural elements are eloquently sprinkled throughout the film it does not rely too heavily on it, it’s more implied and told in intentional small parts.  The film does run long at a 2 hour and 20 minute run time. I feel like quite a bit could have been taken out and a different ending could have made the film better but overall it’s very enjoyable with great performances and a universal message that as a human is easy to connect with. Score 8/10 

Synopsis A medical courier named Bryan accepts one last job to deliver to Raccoon City hospital. on his way he is beset by many misadventures involving zombies and monsters.  Review of Resident Evil (2026) Zach Cregger was fingered to direct this after the wild success of Barbarian and Weapons. Here he enters the hollywood machine of rehashing tired IP, and in this instance comes out not just unscathed but triumphant. Resident Evil doesn’t have the complexity of his previous movies, but maintains his excellent timing and humor. He basically takes the junky character from weapons and gives him a job inside a video game and we watch the wacky high jinx. Bryan is a couple steps above simpleton and largely has single words as dialogue for the movie, but Austin Abrams gives a great performance as the everyman. I laughed out loud several times in the movie at the reactions of Brian as well as some of the absurd situations throughout. It also has some great jump scares that aren’t endlessly telegraphed like in most jump scares vehicles. The monsters and body horror are all well done and disturbing. It also is extremely well paced and comes in at a nearly extinct runtime of an hour and 30 minutes. Overall it’s a really fun movie and despite the nitpicks of Resident Evil fans it is objectively the best live action film in the franchise.  Score 9/10

Synopsis Based on the Richard Bachman/Stephen King novel of the same name, Thinner tells the story of an overweight lawyer who is cursed by a Gypsy to lose weight at an alarming rate.  Review It’s a simple premise that makes you wonder, huh what are they going to do with that! The answer is nothing. This is a big ol nothing burger of a movie. I remember seeing it when I was younger but I always assumed it was a made for tv movie, and now I understand why I thought that. The production quality and acting was so bad that it induced incredulity. The movie focuses so much on moving the plot forward that it fails to include a story with characters with clear motivations. It is so focused on getting to the next stage of thinness that it never takes a moment to really communicate what the characters think or feel about the situation. It ends up feeling as hollow as the protagonist’s former pants. Score 2/10