Claim OwnershipUntoxicated Podcast
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Sheri and Matt Salis just wanted a regular life–regular marriage, regular careers, a regular house, and happy kids. Instead, they lived a life of lies and terror as they struggled with Matt’s alcoholism and emotional abuse. Unfortunately, their experience is quite regular. Sheri and Matt talk to other experts, to roundtable panels, and to each other. No subjects are off limits: The trauma of active addiction, the pain of recovery, the impact of emotional abuse, the “should I stay or should I go” question, breaking the cycles for the kids, and both emotional and physical intimacy. Matt Salis is a behavioral health writer and researcher with over a decade of experience studying addiction and emotional abuse, and a master’s degree in sexual health. He is a leading expert on the impact of addiction and emotional abuse on intimacy in committed partnerships. Sheri Salis is the hero of their story, and the star of the Untoxicated Podcast. You’ve got this, and we’ve got you.
381 Episodes
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Our latest essay from the Evolution Series from our Untoxicated blog: “The Family Scar”
Before they served us our farewell dinner, our neighbors of twenty years, while enjoying the evening sun of newly saved daylight on their back deck, asked our youngest two boys what their fondest memories were of the house we are leaving behind.
I froze in a mini-panic. “The time Drunk Dad got so mad that he punched a framed picture spreading glass all over our bedroom.” “Listening to Mom and Dad whisper-fight well into the morning through the heating ducts.” Those were the traumatic memories that flooded my brain as I waited for our sons to speak…
If you are ready to work on getting comfortable with your scar, as the drinker or the partner of a drinker, please take our brief survey at UntoxicatedSurvey.org so we can share resources, including a free ebook.
Sheri and Matt explain the relief that the partners of drinkers experience in different scenarios as relationship status and possibly drinking status change. Recovery isn’t about rekindled romance or a revived fairytale. For the partners, the ultimate goal is relief from chaos and trauma. And most drinkers don’t understand how important that nervous system relief truly is.
Please go to UntoxicatedSurvey.org to better understand the impact of alcohol and/or emotional abuse on you and your family. Whether you are the drinker or the partner, whether you feel a lack of emotional safety or don’t really know what that means, we can help you feel supported. Take the survey. You’ve got this, and we’ve got you.
Our latest essay from the Evolution Series from our Untoxicated blog: Consequences of Confrontation
Confrontation has long been hard for me, and I have worked tirelessly to avoid it. My conflict avoidance is also probably one of the reasons that my marriage has survived. While I acknowledge that past, I am moving into a new version of the future…
If you are ready to pursue your own personal answers about having enough, and about the impact of alcohol on your life, either as the drinker or the partner, please take our survey so we can engage you where you are in your own discovery process.
UntoxicatedSurvey.org
This is one of the most extreme cases of an incredibly normal experience. What started for Jen as social drinking with a new boyfriend eventually built to emotional abuse, financial abuse, physical abuse, and narcissistic behavior years into marriage. Jen had to pull herself and her kids from danger, and start over personally and professionally. This is a relatable story on overdrive.
Please go to UntoxicatedSurvey.org to better understand the impact of alcohol and/or emotional abuse on you and your family. Whether you are the drinker or the partner, whether you feel a lack of emotional safety or don’t really know what that means, we can help you feel supported. Take the survey. You’ve got this, and we’ve got you.
Our latest essay from our Untoxicated blog: Enough
Is having enough about getting more or needing less?
I was at a casual lunch meeting with six people and two eight-slice pizzas. I ate one slice of pepperoni and one slice of margherita. I was still hungry, and the pizza was really delicious, but you could not have force-fed me a third slice…
If you are ready to pursue your own personal answers about having enough, and about the impact of alcohol on your life, either as the drinker or the partner, please take our survey so we can engage you where you are in your own discovery process.
UntoxicatedSurvey.org
In this quarterly session with licensed clinical social worker and mental health therapist, Lara Hammock, Sheri and Matt ask Lara listener questions about trauma and triggers, reconnection after detachment, the recovery timeline, and moderation after alcoholism. Lara also gives feedback on relationship confrontation and Matt’s insecurities. The episode ends with a vulnerable conversation about mental health while navigating the Epstein scandal and tragedy.
Please check out Lara’s new YouTube channel @theIllustratingTherapist. To ask Lara a question for next quarter’s episode, email matt@SoberAndUnashamed.com with “Ask Lara” as the subject.
Please go to UntoxicatedSurvey.org to better understand the impact of alcohol and/or emotional abuse on you and your family. Whether you are the drinker or the partner, whether you feel a lack of emotional safety or don’t really know what that means, we can help you feel supported. Take the survey. You’ve got this, and we’ve got you.
New from Sober and Unashamed: “Shameful Awakening”
We hope you will engage. Please read and leave a comment about where you are in your process on our Sober and Unashamed website and blog here.
Trigger warning: Epstein and power addiction (to skip graphic discussion, please go to 17:45).
Do you recognize this cycle: Conflict, huffiness, a period of no contact, maybe a half-assed apology, an attitude of “water under the bridge” / never speak of this again, and lingering resentments that haunts? If so, this episode is for you, whether you are from the Midwest or not.
Please go to UntoxicatedSurvey.org to better understand the impact of alcohol and/or emotional abuse on you and your family. Whether you are the drinker or the partner, whether you feel a lack of emotional safety or don’t really know what that means, we can help you feel supported. Take the survey. You’ve got this, and we’ve got you.
New from Sober and Unashamed: “Catastrophism”
We have published hundreds of essays on alcoholism, recovery, sex and intimacy, underlying issues, growth and progress. Maybe you love to read, but just don’t seem to find the time. We hope you’ll listen to this audio version of our latest written offering titled: “Catastrophism”
Take the survey about alcoholism and emotional safety.
To read this and much more, check out our Sober and Unashamed blog.
Dan Purcell is an intimacy coach and the host of the Get Your Marriage On! podcast. Sheri and Matt ask Dan about taboo subjects around sexuality, safety, enthusiastic consent, desire discrepancy, reactive arousal, stress, and shame. For all of Dan’s resources, go to GetYourMarriageOn.com.
Please go to UntoxicatedSurvey.org to better understand the impact of alcohol and/or emotional abuse on you and your family. Whether you are the drinker or the partner, whether you feel a lack of emotional safety or don’t really know what that means, we can help you feel supported. Take the survey. You’ve got this, and we’ve got you.
New from Sober and Unashamed: “Soft Pillows”
We have published hundreds of essays on alcoholism, recovery, sex and intimacy, underlying issues, growth and progress. Maybe you love to read, but just don’t seem to find the time. We hope you’ll listen to this audio version of our latest written offering titled: “Soft Pillows”
Take the survey about alcoholism and emotional safety.
To read this and much more, check out our Sober and Unashamed blog.
Sheri talks about breaking free from an instinctual and conditioned compulsion to prioritize Matt’s needs over hers. Her transformation has not only had a positive personal effect, but it has made her more effective at home, at work, and in the community.
Please go to UntoxicatedSurvey.org to better understand the impact of alcohol and/or emotional abuse on you and your family. Whether you are the drinker or the partner, whether you feel a lack of emotional safety or don’t really know what that means, we can help you feel supported. Take the survey. You’ve got this, and we’ve got you.
New from Sober and Unashamed: “Cold Hands”
We have published hundreds of essays on alcoholism, recovery, sex and intimacy, underlying issues, growth and progress. Maybe you love to read, but just don’t seem to find the time. We hope you’ll listen to this audio version of our latest written offering titled: “Cold Hands”
To read this and much more, check out our Sober and Unashamed blog.
Sara Kaufman-Bradstreet got sober, along with her husband, six years ago, and she talks with Sheri and Matt about triggers, parenting, the alcoholic label, stuffing emotions, sex and intimacy, going public, and self-confidence. Please check out Sara @NoMoreWastedDays on Instagram, TikTok, and facebook, and listen to the No More Wasted Days podcast.
Please go to UntoxicatedSurvey.org to better understand the impact of alcohol and/or emotional abuse on you and your family. Whether you are the drinker or the partner, whether you feel a lack of emotional safety or don’t really know what that means, we can help you feel supported. Take the survey. You’ve got this, and we’ve got you.
New from Sober and Unashamed: “And I Thought Alcohol Addiction Was Dangerous”
We have published hundreds of essays on alcoholism, recovery, sex and intimacy, underlying issues, growth and progress. Maybe you love to read, but just don’t seem to find the time. We hope you’ll listen to this audio version of our latest written offering titled: “And I Thought Alcohol Addiction Was Dangerous”
To read this and much more, check out our Sober and Unashamed blog.
In her 25 years as a couples therapist, Amy Lombardi, LPC, has worked with thousands of people, and can think of zero clients for whom alcohol has enhanced their life or relationship. In fact, alcohol is quite often a stated or underlying reason for partnership dysfunction. Amy talks with Sheri and Matt about imposter syndrome, resentment processing, trauma, defensiveness, blame shifting, detachment, healthy connection, self-confidence, and narcissism. Amy gives an enthusiastic endorsement of the need for Emotional Masculinity. Please follow her @AmyOnRelationships on Instagram and TikTok.
Please go to UntoxicatedSurvey.org to better understand the impact of alcohol and/or emotional abuse on you and your family. Whether you are the drinker or the partner, whether you feel a lack of emotional safety or don’t really know what that means, we can help you feel supported. Take the survey. You’ve got this, and we’ve got you.
Kelly, Melanie, and Tess make a return visit to the podcast, this time to share their hard-earned wisdom about their pitfalls and successes in navigating the world of dating after alcoholic marriages. Insights and laughter are plentiful. If you are consider reentry into the dating scene, this is 90 minutes that will save you months of frustration.
For a free trial month in Echoes of Recovery or SHOUT Sobriety, please start the enrollment process in January. If you have been impacted by your partner’s drinking or emotional abuse, go to EchoesOfRecovery.org. If you are leaving alcohol behind or trying to create an environment of emotional safety, go to SHOUTSobriety.org.
New from Sober and Unashamed: “Million-Dollar Endorsement”
We have published hundreds of essays on alcoholism, recovery, sex and intimacy, underlying issues, growth and progress. Maybe you love to read, but just don’t seem to find the time. We hope you’ll listen to this audio version of our latest written offering titled: “Million-Dollar Endorsement”
To read this and much more, check out our Sober and Unashamed blog.
Emotional abuse doesn’t leave visible bruises. Emotional abuse is always one weak apology away from being brushed under the rug. But trust and physical intimacy are impossible without emotional safety, and anything that disrupts emotional safety is abuse. Sheri and Matt talk through 10 forms of emotional abuse, from the obvious to the subtle.
For a free trial month in Echoes of Recovery or SHOUT Sobriety, please start the enrollment process in January. If you have been impacted by your partner’s drinking or emotional abuse, go to EchoesOfRecovery.org. If you are leaving alcohol behind or trying to create an environment of emotional safety, go to SHOUTSobriety.org.
New from Sober and Unashamed: “The Cruelty of Addiction”
We have published hundreds of essays on alcoholism, recovery, sex and intimacy, underlying issues, growth and progress. Maybe you love to read, but just don’t seem to find the time. We hope you’ll listen to this audio version of our latest written offering titled: “The Cruelty of Addiction”
To read this and much more, check out our Sober and Unashamed Blog.
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