15 going 50

Juliah Roberts makes an obscene statement for conservatives to understand. ‘I don’t kiss on the mouth’. When Juliah said it the first time, I took it as that. She just doesn’t kiss on the mouth, but looking at pretty woman from a different perspective, kissing on the mouth is way deeper in this movie than it should be and perhaps in a liberal world, it might be an idiom of expression – I don’t kiss on the mouth – I do not go above and beyond my boundaries. Edward, played by Richard Gere, also doesn’t kiss on the mouth. Not at work, and not in committing to relationships. He is closed off emotionally to things that may make a servant out of him if he were to be emotional about them. One thing they both displayed for me is a sense of clarity - for the prostitute to know where her boundaries were with her clients, and a firm decision-making instinct in a business man who know when to overcome the urge to step aside from your business principles.

When leaders call for protests, how likely are you to step out of your house, or ask for leave from work to join the demonstrations? What worries you about the demonstrations? Is it the possibility of the peaceful demonstrations turning violent, is it the risk of the possibility of police using live bullets on demonstrators, or is it the risk of getting mugged by goons who take advantage of the protests? In this episode we will have last minute reflections on THE CRISIS COMMUNICATION CHAPTER project that I was a part of. Remember the Crisis Communication Chapter conversation we had last year about a group of multistakeholder individuals who came together to create awareness in Kibera about COVID-19, well, they had a re-run. For this phase, they focused on Communication and conflict management and they targeted the recently held elections in Kenya. Historically, Kenya has had cases of post-election tension and violence especially in informal settlements and in Opposition territory. It was therefore prudent for the chapter to take the conversation to the ground, with the advantage of already having worked with the community on COVID-19 and established networks and relationships. The second phase focused on conflicts during election, and how, months down the recently held general elections, people in informal settlements including Kibera and Kisumu were responding to the news that it was not the opposition leader who took the seat, but rather the former vice president. There was an anticipation of protests but the calm that descended the nation was worth understanding. The term last minute reflections is linked to events that occurred towards the end of the project that shed light on misinformation and disinformation in informal settlements and raised insights and learning moments within the team. Recently, former opposition leader, and former prime minister called for demonstrations. Coincidentally during the same time, there were on going demonstrations in Africa in South Africa, Nigeria, Senegal, Tunisia and Kenya. The thing about the demonstrations in Kenya was that they were centered in Nairobi, in informal settlements, including Kibera and Mathare, and in Kisumu – our key geographical areas of engagement. Listen in to Felix Kokonya and Pauline Okenga as they share insights and reflections on the project

It took me 25 years, to break my virginity in experiencing period shame and period stigma. Before that, I had no clue what it meant, for a woman to stand up from her sit and have everyone stare, or whisper about her stained clothes. I was using a different brand of sanitary towels and unfortunately, well, belonging to the heavy flow category, the towels could not accommodate me for a few hours. And on this particular day, I can remember, the first person to call it out, not to give me a heads up but to call it out, was a woman who semi-shouted ‘Shit amejimess’. (you like want to cover your bum) Lord, I wanted to die. But my case is an extreme example because of course I had access to extra towels, I just couldn’t change until I got to a place convenient enough for me to change, but the damage was already done. I was the girl, that day, who stained her clothes with period blood. Out there though, this is the story of so many girls, who unfortunately cannot do shit about their situation. A few day ago, the senate house was allegedly disgraced because a woman stained her clothes while having her period. Kenyan Senator Gloria Orwoba showed up in the senate chambers with her white trouser soiled with what looked like period blood. Honestly it was shocking for me that the first person to call her out, and in no kind words call her a disgrace, was a woman. Who called it faking, and that our culture as women require some privacy. She also pointed out that Sen. Gloria was sending a bad image to girls who look up to them as women. Now if this was stage managed to get the conversation going, it has definitely served it’s purpose, but what was interesting to me, was when the chair asked ‘what is this, that is out of order about senator Gloria’s dressing?’ If we understand the concept of symbolism, then perhaps we would applaud her for going out of her was to create awareness on a topic that hush hush even amongst women yet it is something that happens around us and will not stop happening just because we do not want to talk about it. What Sen. Gloria was advocating at least for me; for is that periods are normal, and they affect most girls and women, but unless we do something about the cost and accessibility of the commodity, most girls will continue to be affected by period poverty. They will miss school, and other important activities, because all hell shall break lose if they were to step out without the right insulation and soil their clothes. And additionally, since women reps and women senators are not coming out boldly to advocate for free sanitary towels or tampons, she had to do something about it, and in the process exposed just how bad period stigma is out here. This was my take home. Because we have had women representatives, women senators, and we even have National Government Affirmative Action Fund, under the Min of Public service, youth ang gender affairs but there is close to zero to show for sustainable measures put in place or advocated for to end period poverty and period stigma. While Sen Gloria was dressed as per the standing order, she was called out, not in a way intended to help her, but more to castigate her. Hers was just an example that period stigma and shame is something that women still go through.

A symbol of a new dawn In this episode, we discuss a new season and dawn on Scenes and Coffee. Titled; sincerely your Sunday school teacher, we explore how we, as humans, are often observers in a string of actions occurring co-currently. We also explore how some actions would be in our control, and others are beyond our control and we learn to co-exist. Similarly, as observers across Africa, we get to witness various issues, challenges, perspectives and such across Africa. Some of which we can control and others outside our control. We will therefore be exploring different challenges across Africa, and how they are being handled. In our niche pursuing CSO spaces in Africa, we use this introductory episode to create awareness on what to expect in the show going forward, and how this will be.

With the rate of unemployment in Africa, as well as the flooded job markets, a lot of yuoth opt to pursue interests outside their area of study. One market that has seen a lot of success in Africa is the writing space. Be it online writing or academic writing. As long as you have access to a laptop and reliable internet, you can work from the comfort of your home and make a living. The catch it; there are no rules that govern freelancing, especially when dealing with direct clients. The power play in place will make people constantly short change you, and they expect you to suck it up and serve them again. In this particular episode, we ask; is tit for tat a fair game? As a freelancer, share your experience with us on the state of mind of the tasks involved, and the affairs you have encountered, and how you handled them Recorded and edited by - Bacavali Music

Is a person doing to much for your liking? It is sometimes problematic to always have a comment for everything. It can have a lot of consequences such as destroying friendships, breaking groups, resignations, etc. Sometimes we should use the time assigned to us to build ourselves because their is power to shutting your mouth. 

Who cares who wins the elections, better yet, why fight someone for their freedom of choice!2007 was a horrific year, I would not wish violence on anyone. In conclusion, vote, whoever wins, let them win, then go and continue with your hustle, because fighting will not change the results, and it will only mess your future.

The name Sakaja has a lot of Nairobi women regretting why they did not pick up that voters card. Those who have voters cards are ready to risk it all. Sell their future for a pair of dimples, just like Esau sold his birthright for a plate of lentils. Kamande.  The political season brings out the thirst traps in us where sometimes we vote for folk not because they are worth a vote but because they camouflage under particular ideologies, or parties or preferences that we like. As a result, sometimes we vote not because someone is practical but because they respond to a certain thirst trap that excites us. Especially in the micro positions such as MCA's, MNA's, women reps etc. We are more focused on the presidency, and the party, than the individual who we most likely will relate with at the ground.Macro fanatics, define micro selections, and increases probabilities of bad political choices.... listen in to hear more of my opinion on thirst traps. 

Perhaps a rebirth is necessary? At 25, I made my first decision to unshackle myself from the false financial freedom that comes with employment. Truth be told, I was losing more than I was gaining. Being in the wrong space but hanging in there because it paid the bills. For this episode, I am just affirming afresh that yes, I resignedI said it, I resigned. I did not quit, I picked my freedom. The journey so far has been hectic, it has been a roller coaster, but it was worth itAll the same, my rebirth was not complete until, until he signed it off. So here is how it went down.... Listen in for more. Cheers. Credits to Bacavali Music.Music from Bacavali Music.Images on the episode cover from Vagar Frame.

Everything but a husband part 2: Imagine waking up to realizing the price of cooking oil just went up by double what it used to be five years ago. Unlike most, my first cause of concern was how families living below a day are surviving. But hey, this is what happens when leaders stay out of touch with the ground We cannot simply blame harsh economic times on the Russia/Ukraine war alone, no. Our politicians and their bad governance, constant looting, back dealings and a do not care attitude have led to some of the issues we face as a country on a daily. So here is my take on how politicians fail big time as political husbands  

In this episode, we bounce ideas with Elijah Bakari and Eunice Njagi, on what they think about the term "Everything but a husband", and they share their ideas from different perspectives, that form a basis for subsequent conversations.  Special appreciation to Goethe-institut, the GIZ, Jenga CCI and ADMI for their facilitation for the production of this episode. Follow us on social media Instagram @scenes_and_coffeeTiktok @scenes_and_coffeeTwitter @scenes&coffee_pod

What is the key difference between access to information and access to the internet?Access to the internet does not guarantee access to the information, in fact, the opposite may be true; ungoverned access to the internet can easily lead to misinformation and disinformation. This episode introduces the Crisis Communication Chapter Kenya team - a multistakeholder team that agreed to work together in spite of different opinions for the better of the communtiy. 

I last posted on my podcast on 23rd October 2021. A point at which I was self- backlash, self sabotage, self doubt etc.... I was beating myself up. I got into a podcasting incubator program, and it took me a really long time to accept where this was going - and that is all the way upAt the start of my incubator program, I was battling this immense rush at 25, where I was constantly wondering where my life was heading to. I felt shy to share myself with the world because I felt under achieved. When I did share myself with the world, I left out what I wanted to say and only spoke of what people wanted to hear. Here I am, six months later, sharing with the world a little bit of what I have created. Enjoy this 30 second bonus episode / trailer. 

I love my sister. My sister is the queen of understanding the teenage assignment. Thankfully her moment of rebellion is now a moment of enlightenment during my birthday count down. Sometime we prematurely jump into situations because an *extender* is pushing is into that situation. However what anout being the extender of our lives? --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/rioba1/message

Three things, dependence, interdependence and independence. There is a fine line between the three but somehow, when we find ourselves in relationships we often grey the line between the three because of over dependence. I took a memory lane down why my last relationship ended before it began. Honestly, it was because all I was bringing to the table was peanut butter. at that point I needed to re-evaluate who I was, who I wanted to be, what I wanted and how I could achieve it. Nothing worth mentioning included maintaining the status quo.. So what did I change? --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/rioba1/message

On adulting manual part 1, we discussed what goes wrong in adulting. Adulting at times fails to play out how we expect especially in our career. A lot of people battle with the compare and contrast syndrome where their peers are concerned and at times this makes them lose focus of how they can tailor their own path to success For part two on I need a freaking manual for adulting, we discuss 'How' adulting can go right. I sent out a survey on how a people maneuvered and tried to create a simple manual for adulting for people who are trying find a bit of clarity as they define their paths in life. Here were the top five suggestions of what an adulting manual should include. 1- Forge your own Path 2- Build you own skills that come in handy when it is time to change direction 3- If you define trusting the process as waiting for shit to fall on your plate, when you are sited, then there is no such thing as trusting the process. 4- Remember where you come from but know when its time to quit 5- What are those distractions that take most of your time? --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/rioba1/message

Navigating the social structure and career path we hope for can be a hectic affair... This is me, at 24, without a stable job, without my dream car, without my dream house, and of course, with a funny digit bank account especially with my idealistic dreams of owning an empire by 25. Well at least the social zone is not so bad. Is it a bit aweful that I feel glad knowing I am not the only one? Anyway, I recently had a discussion with a lady I look up to and she told me, what helped her out was the fact that by the time she was joining campus she had it figured out. I took it upon me to ask one question; there are two types of people, one raised on generic principles, and another raised on specifics. Generic principles rarely get you anywhere because you never stand out, you are merely conforming to what is morally and ethically acceptable in the society. A user manual is a useful document that helps us identify and know the functionality of a specific item, but here is the catch, there is no one user manual that fits all appliances,. Every appliance is custom made to accommodate its own item and show you how best it functions. This is me letting you know why a user manual in adulting is important and how you can tailor your own user manual. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/rioba1/message

Ever heard of a statement; Sometimes we kick ourselves off the stage too soon before the world hears us showcase what we've got? Or by any chance do you relate to the statement? Well, a friend of mine Bill and I had an interesting conversation about this girl he liked, but... oh well... but. Self invalidation at times causes us to reject ourselves, even when other people really believe in us. So we took a second to discuss self invalidation, how it affects us and how we can overcome it. Bill is a Film and TV Production student, podcaster, videographer sometimes a photographer (And not a Lawyer as I had earlier assumed). In his free time, he loves Eating, Listening to Music, Studying Films, Taking Pictures and Travelling.  Follow him on Twitter @muthundok and of course his portfolio Instagram page @shotsbymuthundo --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/rioba1/message

Music has a way of re-inventing our emotions, experiences and feelings. Nviiri the Storyteller ft Bien unleashed an emotionally provocative piece titled 'Niko Sawa' (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xHN_G3jdbdA) that had some of reminiscing on the good, the bad and the ugly in relationships. I experienced a deep sense of connection with the song because I felt it speaks to how we feel privately, and how we want to/need to respond to emotional turmoils. I had a conversation with Kelvin Opere on what the song reminded him of, and what he thought we need to pick from the song. Keytake away from his sentiments - 'Hii kitu si Injili, si lazima iende mbele' - Losely translated; It isnt a must to force feleings and relationships. Opere joins the category of small but dangerous people. He is a soft-spoken Lawyer whose maturity in reasoning meets his equally amazing mastery of delivery. While this was a short conversation, it proves there is a lot to pick from his brains. Follow him oon social media Instagram- https://www.instagram.com/kelvin.opere/ Twitter- https://twitter.com/kelvinopere1 Music - Bacavali Music - https://www.instagram.com/bacavali_music/ --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/rioba1/message

Point break. I do not know how physics would define it, but this is definitely the point at which you determine your elasticity once you reach the point you can no longer stretch. They say the back and forth patterns must be avoided at all costs unless necessary. But reality hits after campus will have you taking three steps forward and four steps back. On the last conversation with Phidelis, she let me into her hustles after campus. Before you listen in on this episode, it is crucial to understand that your papers should not define you and what you can do. At times you will be forced to pick an alternative path as life straightens itself out but at no point should you give up. Well, on life and education, we do agree adulting can be a scam.  But the power of choice of path to take is in your hands. Will you wallow in self pity or will you give yourself a chance to explore how elastic you are? --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/rioba1/message