Real Men

Trevor launched Man Up to Cancer on Jan. 1, 2020, to help men connect and avoid isolation during their cancer journeys. A husband and father of two teenage daughters, Trevor has been living with stage IV colorectal cancer since March of 2018. He is a writer, speaker, and community builder with a background in newspaper journalism and public relations. Trevor is incredibly grateful for the support of the cancer wolfpack! Howl!!

While standing in the kitchen of his Fargo home around the age of 12, Bryan had a thought pop into his mind that caused him to question who he is at the core. Little did he know at the time, that it was an early sign of his struggle with anxiety and OCD. A little over a year ago after experiencing panic attacks on live television, Bryan decided to shift his role as a news anchor at KARE 11 in order to make his mental health a priority. Today he remains a producer at the NBC station and is also the co-founder of the Refresh Network where he holds open and honest conversations about mental health.  We discuss our suspicion that many caregivers “push through” very treatable mental health disorders but they become unable to when faced with the stress of caring for a loved one with cancer. We also discuss how he copes with uncertainty (a theme in every caregiver’s life) as a major challenge with his OCD is excessive ruminating.  He unpacks for us each tool in his mental health toolkit and shares his fundamental strategy of coping which is to allow his thoughts, emotions and sensations in the body to be part of the ride - rather than trying to push them away.

Described by his caregiver as a “mystic”, Sean’s been stripped down to nothing. He’s lost his job, he’s infertile, and he often can’t take care of anyone or even play with his daughter. In our conversation he asks himself, “if he is nothing to this world, is he worth the dignity and the resources it has to offer?” His answer will inspire you! Diagnosed at the age of 32 with a rare condition called Fanconi Anemia, cancer is a “no end in sight” reality for him, his daughter Maya, and his spouse/primary caregiver Allison. He’s had cancer of the gums, throat, tongue, bladder, and over 150 occurrences of skin cancer. He’s experienced over 10 years of treatment and literally thousands of appointments including a bone marrow transplant, having his tongue rebuilt from a flap of his arm and the removal of his bladder and prostate. His wife Allison, inspired by her experiences with Sean, created a blog and online community for caregivers called The Negative Space. As a result of her work she’s become a sought after thought leader and speaker on caregiving. You can follow the their day to day ups and downs on FB and IG at @negspacelife. You can learn more about the caregiving coordination tool that Sean shares in the episode at https://www.ianacare.com/.

​Nominated for our podcast by his wife Natalie, Nick is just a guy in love with his girls. A Twin’s season ticket holder since 2001, he's also a firm believer that the only things you can control in life are your actions and your attitude. That belief proved very valuable in 2018, when, with their daughter less than a year old, he became a partner in his sales firm and soon after Natalie was diagnosed with breast cancer. Now even with Natalie in remission, cancer is never far from their minds. As an inheritor of the BRCA1 gene mutation the Meysembourg’s are living their lives on high alert.

Kelly is an oncology psychotherapist with a fellowship in grief counseling, a keynote speaker, and an accomplished author who’s been in the clinical field of palliative care and hospice for 25 years. She’s witnessed hundreds of deaths, including her own mother’s when she was 11 years old. Her mom had collapsed from a massive heart attack as they shopped for groceries, she helplessly watched as CPR was administered. They spent 3 months in the ICU before her mom ultimately died in the hospital as a result. She was even teased at school because her mom died! These experiences built her resiliency muscles, informed her caregiver perspective, and taught her that end of life care must be done well. Recently she’s shifted the focus of her work to sharing the lessons she’s learned from the real experts, her patients. She believes the dying have the most to teach us about how to live. And she enjoys sharing those lessons through her book, “A Comforted Heart”, “Conversations with Kelly” events and podcasts, and training other therapists to specialize in oncology where many more experts are needed.