The Dildorks

Asexuality is a highly misunderstood identity, so this week we’re discussing what it means to be ace – and why Kate is newly identifying that way!What is Asexuality? | Access to Information | Neurodivergence | Why Use the Label? | (Not) Being Into Bodies | Coming Out to Allo People | Aromanticism | Hard Feelings | Are Ace People Queer? | Choice vs. “Born This Way” | Ace by Angela Chen Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

This week, we give more advice on play parties, including how to become a DM, how to approach a stranger for play, and how to take care of yourself emotionally during an event. Flirting & Professionalism | Becoming a DM | When to Get a DM | Rookie Mistakes | Taking Notes | How to Approach People | Mood Management | Approaching Tops | Handling Overwhelm Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

Party time! This week, we discuss etiquette and preparation for attending a play party, whether it’s sex-focused, kink-focused, or both. Sex as a Hobby | Beginners | Verbal vs. Non-Verbal Communication | Spontaneity | Vulnerability | Compartmentalization | Expectations vs. Reality | Preparing | Setting Intentions | Spectating | What to Wear | Sex vs. Kink | Archetypes Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

We always love learning about interesting fetishes, and this week we’ve got a bunch of juicy ones to discuss, from bomb-shaped women to pig-shaped men. Explodey Babes | Bi Confusion | Pig Transformation | Sperm Bank Muff Dive | Tongue Fetish | Ties & Ties | Theme Nights | Quitting Smoking Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

Watching movies and TV shows with a partner can be surprisingly bonding and eye-opening! This week we discuss the ways our relationships have benefited from enjoying media with partners. Talking During Movies | Inside Jokes | Disconnection vs. Intimacy | Conversation-Starters | Complexity & Nuance | Choosing Movies | The Birdcage | Content Notes vs. No Spoilers | Art vs. Escapism | The Room | Same Time, Next Year | Eyes Wide Shut | With Love and a Major Organ Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

This week we dig deeper into the subject of sexual selfishness, answering questions like: Can it be selfish to give pleasure? How can you satisfy a stone person? And is there really a top shortage? Casual vs. Long-Term | Getting Tired & ‘Hard Mode’ | Owning Your Desires | Communication & Compliments | Willing vs. Into | Stone Reciprocity | Xan West on Stone Identity | Allow vs. Tolerate/Endure | Selfish Altruism | Top Shortage | Kate’s Moan Audios | Indirect Clit Stim Techniques Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

What does it mean to be selfish in bed, and is it always necessarily a bad thing? This week we discuss our relationships to “selfishness” and receiving pleasure. Bottoming vs. Being Selfish | Negative Connotations | Straights vs. Queers | Wide Range of Pleasures | “You Do Me, Then I Do You” | Switching | /r/RandomActsOfMuffDive | Bottoming Skills | Guilt & Shame | Pleasure Doms | Gendered Tropes | Tops’ Pleasure | Masking vs. Vulnerability Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

Talking about sex is hard, which is why so many sex educators try to “meet people where they’re at,” a concept we unpack this week to help you have better conversations about sex. Zero Tolerance vs. Harm Reduction | Don’t Be Elitist! | Avoiding Shame Triggers | Self-Disclosure | Jokey Approach | Questions & Assumptions | Assessing Knowledge Level | Self-Criticism Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

This week, we celebrated International Kissing Day by answering listener questions about kissing! “We Should Make Out” | Hormone Changes | Kissing Men | Consent-Asks | Feeling Overwhelmed | Toys & Practice | Sexual Stimulation Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

This week, while Kate’s moving from Toronto to New York, Billy chats with his partner Dee Darkholme about THEIR recent move, and what it’s been like adjusting to living together with Dee’s other partner. Living with 2 Partners | Opposite vs. Similar | Communication & Criticism | Sex Issues | Having People Over | Decoration Decisions | Complementary Strengths | Alone Time | Nice Things Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

How do you get over a friend who doesn’t like you back? This week, we wade deeper into the topic of unrequited feelings within a friendship. Crush Eras | “The Friendzone” | Straight vs. Queer Scripts | Gendered Narratives | Processing Unrequited Feelings | Re-Channelling Obsessions | Grieving Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

What happens when you catch feelings for your friend? This week, we discuss the tricky art of keeping a friendship afloat while attraction rocks the boat. When Feelings Dissipate | Developing Feelings | When to Say Something | Changing the Label | Flirting vs. Being Direct | Flirting is Hot | Soft No vs. Hard No | When to Let It Go | Gender Imbalances | Should You Tell Them? Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

Friendships with benefits are an important part of our sexual landscape, so this week we discuss how to navigate casual ongoing sexual partnerships with kindness and grace. FWBs vs. Fuckbuddies | Demisexuality | Romantic Attraction | Safety & Trust | Familiarity & Practice | Sex is Fun | Intimacy & Connection | Finding a FWB | Asking a Friend | Labeling | “What Are You Looking For?” | “We Should Make Out” | Relationship Escalator | Managing Expectations Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

Sexual pleasure can be wonderful self-care, even during some low-libido times. This week we discuss our favorite methods of sexual self-care. Happy Pride Month! | Not Jerking Off | Perfunctory Masturbation | Reducing Friction | Opportunities to Feel Sexy | Sexual Health | Setting & Enforcing Boundaries | Self-Knowledge | Focusing on Pleasure | Curiosity & Creativity | “Just Do It”? Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

This week Kate chats with her wife mb about how HRT (hormone replacement therapy) can affect transfeminine people’s skin sensitivity, orgasm intensity, desire levels, and more!Your Mileage May Vary | Softer Skin | Girl Smell | Erectile Changes | Responsive vs. Spontaneous Desire | Maintaining Erectile Function | Context & a “Why” | Hormonal Cycle | Sensitivity | /r/GrowYourClit | Orgasms | Cum | Domming & Topping | Subbing & Bottoming | Aftercare | Penile Health Maintenance | Dancing | Trans Healthcare Access Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

Happy Masturbation Month to those who celebrate! This week we’re answering listener questions on jerkin’ it.Want to Want It | Solo Pain Play | Masochism vs. Self-Harm | Fantasies Making a Comeback | Achievable Fantasies | Pets in the Room Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

Living with your polycule: bad idea, or best idea? This week we discuss the emotional and practical realities of Billy’s recent decision to move in with his partner and metamour! Kitchen Table Polyamory | Combining Households | Chore Distribution | Building New Routines | Bedroom Privacy | Gross Little Gremlin | Largest Room | Fears | Chosen Family | Poly Stigma | Complementary Skillsets Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

This week, Kate chats with friend of the show Addison Finch about the ritual and reverence of bootblacking, and what we can learn about our current political moment from studying the history of kink. CLAGS Lecture Series | Leather History | Can Straight People Be “Leather”? | Kink Awakening | History & Context | Kink Reading Group | Activism & Organizing | Bootblacking & Leather Care | Boot Worship Scenes | Longevity of Leather Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

As is tradition, this week we celebrate 4/20 by getting intoxicated and answering silly hypothetical questions about sex. Last Prisoner Project | Movie Quotes | Cooking Implements | Tantus Plunge | BJ Dildo | Condiments | Exes & Past Selves | Gifting Kinks | Inanimate Objects | Fireworks Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

Whether you prefer to plan dates or have them planned for you, a date’s location or activity can play a big role in how well it goes – so this week we discuss how to successfully plan early dates with a new person. Whose Responsibility? | Providing Input | Dietary Restrictions | Go-To Locations | Civil Liberties | Pour Boy | Activity vs. Conversation | Movies & Museums | Too Loud | Poor Planning & Incompatibility | Free/Cheap Date Ideas | “Sexy” Dates | Kate’s Upcoming Musical Improv Shows Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.