Grieve That Sh!t

"You were never meant to grieve quietly. Your emotions didn't show up to hurt you. They showed up to help you process what just happened." In this episode of Grieve That Shit, Sharon Brubaker, Certified Grief Specialist and founder of The Grief School, sits down with Nikki to talk about a kind of loss that cuts straight to the core. The loss of a mother who was also a best friend. After losing her nephew Austin, Sharon learned that grief isn't one-dimensional. There are layers. And one of the most overlooked layers is the grief that comes from losing the person who knew you, guided you, and helped you make sense of life. In this conversation, Nikki shares the story of her mom Cheryl. Not just who she was, but how deeply intertwined she was in every part of her life. From daily texts and phone calls to faith, caregiving, unanswered prayers, and the shock of having no time to prepare. This episode explores what happens when grief collides with faith, when anger at God feels unavoidable, and when the foundation you were raised on both supports you and breaks your heart at the same time. We talk about the reality of caregiving, the trauma of watching someone you love decline, and the quiet ways people stay connected after loss. Keeping a phone on. Sending messages that will never be answered. Letting grandchildren leave voicemails. Choosing connection instead of rules. This is an honest, raw conversation about layered grief, unfinished moments, and learning how to live in a world where your anchor is gone. You're not doing grief wrong. You're responding to something that mattered deeply. Let's grieve that shit together. What You'll Hear in This Episode • Why losing a mother who was also a best friend creates a second layer of grief • How caregiving changes the grief experience before death even happens • What it's like to have no time to process before everything changes • How faith can both comfort and anger you after loss • Why staying connected in your own way is not wrong • The difference between healing and erasing the relationship Reflection Questions Take your time with these. There's no rush. Who was your person to you beyond the title they held in your life? What part of your grief do you feel most people don't understand? Where has faith supported you, and where has it felt complicated or painful? What unfinished moments or conversations still live in your body? What connection are you holding onto that brings you comfort, even if others wouldn't understand it? If you stopped judging your grief, what would you allow yourself to feel? Gentle Homework Write this sentence at the top of a page: "What hurts the most about losing them is…" Let yourself finish it without fixing, explaining, or softening the answer. That honesty is part of your healing. Resources + Next Steps 🎥 Watch Sharon's grief teachings and video overviews 🎧 Explore deep-dive podcast episodes like this one 📘 Access study guides, journal prompts, and grief education 🧠 Continue your work inside The Grief School 👉 Everything lives at clickhereforhope.com You don't have to rush this. You don't have to be okay. You just have to be honest.      

"She was more than her ending. And healing didn't mean letting her go. It meant letting the pain stop running the show." In Part 2 of this deeply personal episode of Grieve That Shit, Sharon Brubaker, grief specialist and founder of The Grief School, continues the raw conversation with Nikki about grieving a mother who was also her best friend. This episode moves beyond the loss and into what happens after the world keeps spinning and you're still stuck. Nikki shares what it was really like to resist grief work, to believe that suffering was the only way to honor her mom, and to carry guilt she didn't even realize she was holding. Together, Sharon and Nikki unpack one of the most painful grief lies of all: "If I heal, it means I didn't love them enough." You'll hear how healing finally began when Nikki stopped protecting the pain and allowed herself to tell the truth about what she lost, what she carried, and what she deserved next. This episode is about releasing unhealthy grief, honoring the full life of your person, and learning how to live again without betraying the love that came before. What You'll Hear in This Episode Why many grievers believe suffering equals loyalty How guilt hides inside grief and keeps you stuck What it means to be "more than their ending" Why healing doesn't erase love, memories, or connection How letting the pain soften creates space to celebrate your person again Questions to Sit With After Listening You don't have to answer these perfectly. Just honestly. Where have I believed that my pain is protecting my person? What part of my grief feels unhealthy, even if I don't want to admit it yet? Am I afraid that healing means leaving them behind? If my person could speak to me right now, what would they want for my life? What would it look like to grieve and live at the same time? Gentle Homework Write this sentence at the top of a page: "They were more than their ending." Now finish it without rushing. Let memories come. Let truth come. Let the love show up. You're not erasing them. You're letting their whole life matter again.

"Your brain didn't break when your person died. It's just doing what it knows—trying to protect you from pain. But grief doesn't live in your brain. It lives in your heart." In this episode of Grieve That Shit, Sharon Brubaker, Certified Grief Specialist and founder of The Grief School, dives deep into one of the biggest truths about grief: you can't think your way out of it. After losing her nephew Austin, Sharon discovered firsthand that grief isn't logical—it's emotional. Your brain tries to reason, fix, and explain the unexplainable, while your heart just breaks wide open. That war between the head and the heart? It's exactly why you feel like you're spinning. This episode unpacks the difference between intellect, emotion, and sensation—and shows why healing can only happen when you stop trying to "figure it out" and start feeling it. Sharon shares the same lessons that inspired her book This Is Grief and walks you through how to finally calm your mind so you can listen to your heart. Because the truth is: your heart already knows what your brain keeps trying to solve. What You'll Learn in This Episode Why grief is emotional—not intellectual—and how that changes everything The silent war between your brain and your heart after loss Why logic and reason can't fix what's broken in your soul How thoughts like "Why didn't I go?" or "I should have done more" keep you stuck in pain What it really means to "drop into your heart" and let it speak Homework for You If you've been spinning in your thoughts, here's your assignment: Grab a sheet of paper and write down one question that won't stop looping in your mind—like "Why me?" or "Why didn't I answer the phone?" Now write your honest answer. Don't edit. Don't analyze. Just let your heart respond. Then underneath that answer, finish this sentence: "What I really feel is…" That's where your healing begins—not in your thoughts, but in your truth. Resources + Next Steps 🎥 Get the 4-Part Video Series "This Is Grief" — Walk through Sharon's full teaching on what grief is, where it lives, and how to heal. 📖 Read the Book "This Is Grief" — The definition Sharon needed when Austin died. 🧠 Join The Grief School's Study Hall — Weekly live support where you can share, learn, and heal together. 👉 Download or watch it all at clickhereforhope.com

In Part Two of this Grieve That Shit conversation, Sharon Brubaker and Dr. Elijah Frazier move past introductions and into the heart of what grievers struggle with most: choice, accountability, faith, emotions, and permission to heal. This episode challenges one of the most damaging beliefs grievers carry—that grief is something they must endure forever. Sharon and Dr. Frazier speak directly to the idea that pain is inevitable after loss, but staying trapped in suffering is not the only option. They talk honestly about how grief can steal joy, peace, and energy when we are not aware of the choices we are making. Dr. Frazier introduces a powerful metaphor: your joy is on the auction block every day, and too often, people unknowingly give it away to pain, guilt, fear, or other people's expectations. The conversation also dives into faith, anger at God, and the pressure grievers feel to perform spirituality instead of telling the truth. Sharon and Dr. Frazier make it clear that real healing does not require pretending, suppressing emotions, or being "good" in your grief. It requires honesty, boundaries, and the willingness to do the work. This episode speaks directly to the griever who feels stuck, judged, or afraid to move forward. It offers permission to feel fully, question deeply, and still choose healing.   🧠 Key Points Discussed: Why grievers often believe they have no choices and how that belief keeps them stuck The difference between pain and suffering in grief How joy and peace are quietly given away without awareness Why accountability is not punishment but empowerment The role of faith as a bridge, not a crutch Why being angry at God does not block healing The difference between feelings and emotions and why both matter Why natural emotions like anger, anxiety, sadness, and depression are not wrong How spiritual platitudes can invalidate grief and cause harm Why healing requires action, not waiting The importance of boundaries when you are grieving Why emotions need time and space to do their job   📓 Journal Questions for Reflection: Where do I feel like grief has taken away my choices? What pain am I experiencing, and where might I be adding suffering on top of it? In what moments do I notice my joy being "sold off" to other people or situations? What emotions am I afraid to feel fully? How have faith, beliefs, or expectations shaped the way I grieve? Where do I feel pressure to perform healing instead of living it honestly? What would it look like to give my emotions permission to do their work?   🩶 Conclusion: Grief is not a script. It is not a performance. And it is not something you have to endure forever to prove your love. You are allowed to feel anger. You are allowed to question faith. You are allowed to heal. This episode reminds grievers that emotions are not the enemy. Suppressing them is. Healing does not come from pretending everything is okay. It comes from honesty, accountability, and choosing yourself again and again. This is Grieve That Shit. And this is where healing continues.

In this episode of Grieve That Shit, Sharon Brubaker introduces a defining moment for The Grief School and the podcast. For the first time, she welcomes Dr. Elijah Frazier and shares the news that The Grief School is now powered by The Frazier Group. This is not an announcement episode filled with buzzwords or credentials. It's a conversation about people, pain, and what real care actually looks like when someone is at their breaking point. Sharon and Dr. Frazier talk openly about why grief cannot be handled by systems, scripts, or one-size-fits-all solutions. They explore the difference between easy work and necessary work, and why healing requires intentional relationships, honesty, and empowerment rather than dependency. Dr. Frazier shares his philosophy of care, his commitment to meeting people where they are, and why building a multidisciplinary team matters when someone's life has been shaken by loss. Together, they explain how grief, mental health, physical health, faith, and life circumstances are deeply connected and why separating them often leaves people stuck. This episode sets the foundation for what's coming next. It introduces a partnership built on trust, integrity, and the belief that grief deserves to be held by people, not processed through a system. This is part one of a two-part conversation. Part two goes deeper into grief, choice, and what it means to move forward without abandoning your pain. 🧠 Key Points Discussed: Why The Grief School is now powered by The Frazier Group and what that truly means The difference between easy conversations and necessary conversations in healing Why grief cannot be treated with cookie-cutter scripts or checklists The importance of honoring each person's story instead of forcing outcomes Why empowerment matters more than dependency in long-term healing How unresolved grief often overlaps with weight, health, relationships, and identity Why a collaborative, multidisciplinary approach serves grievers better The role of intentionality in healing and decision-making What it means to do heart-centered work instead of system-centered care 📓 Journal Questions for Reflection: Where have I felt rushed, minimized, or misunderstood in my grief? What kind of support have I been needing but not receiving? How does it feel to consider care that honors my full story, not just my symptoms? Where in my life do I need empowerment instead of being rescued? What would it mean to feel truly seen in my grief? 🩶 Conclusion: Grief does not need to be fixed. It does not need to be rushed. And it should never be handled by a system that forgets the human in front of it. This episode marks the beginning of a deeper, more intentional way of supporting grievers. A way that honors pain, respects complexity, and believes healing happens through real connection. Your story is not finished. And you deserve care that treats it that way. This is Grieve That Shit. And this is where healing begins.

"Grief is not a mental illness. It's not weakness. It's not a checklist to finish or a line you're supposed to move through. It's love—with nowhere left to go." In this episode of Grieve That Shit, Sharon Brubaker, Certified Grief Specialist and founder of The Grief School, gets brutally honest about everything grief isn't. For too long, society has treated grief like a disorder to diagnose, a problem to medicate, or a series of stages to climb. But grief isn't logical, linear, or tidy—it's wild, unpredictable, and deeply human. Sharon unpacks why labeling grief as depression or PTSD misses the truth entirely, and how our culture's obsession with "fixing" pain keeps us from actually healing it. You'll hear the truth about what happens when you zig and zag through your pain, why falling apart is part of the process, and why crying, rage, and exhaustion aren't weakness—they're proof that you loved deeply. Because grief isn't something you escape. It's something you integrate. It's the story of love that still lives in you, even when the person you loved is gone. What You'll Learn in This Episode Why grief is not a mental illness—and what it actually is The truth about the "five stages" and why they never applied to grievers Why grief isn't linear, logical, or something to "get over" How emotional chaos (crying, anger, numbness) is a normal part of healing The many ways we try to numb grief—through work, food, alcohol, or pretending Why facing your grief head-on is the only way through Homework for You This week, write this sentence at the top of a page: "Grief is not…" Then finish it five times, in your own words. "Grief is not something I can control." "Grief is not weakness." "Grief is not my enemy." Keep writing until the truth feels real in your body. You're not broken—you're human. Resources + Next Steps 🎥 Get the Video Series "This Is Grief" — A powerful companion to Sharon's book that walks you through every truth she teaches in this episode, with reflective journaling prompts after each lesson. 📘 Read the Book "This Is Grief" — The definition Sharon wished existed when her nephew Austin died. 🧠 Join Study Hall at The Grief School — Weekly live sessions where you can ask questions, share stories, and find tools for healing. 👉 Access everything at clickhereforhope.com

"When your person died, a part of you died too. Not your whole self—but the version of you that only existed in connection with them. That's the part grief takes. That's what forever changed really means." In this episode of Grieve That Shit, Sharon Brubaker, Certified Grief Specialist and founder of The Grief School, opens her heart about what it truly means to be forever changed—but not broken. After losing her nephew Austin and later her best friend Sharon, her life split into two: before and after. But in this episode, she invites you into the middle—the space between who you were and who you're becoming. It's the unseen, disorienting place where identity, routine, and meaning fall apart. This is the part of grief no one talks about. The part where you're not who you were, but not yet who you'll be. Sharon calls it "the tween." And it's here, in the unknown, that real healing begins. You'll hear what it means to let go of the pieces that no longer match your truth, how to live with the absence that screams louder than words, and why being "forever changed" is not the same as being broken. Because the truth is—grief rewires your story. But you still get to decide how that story ends. What You'll Learn in This Episode The three phases of grief: before, between, and after Why your identity shifts after loss—and how to honor the version of you that's gone How to navigate the "tween," the unknown space between devastation and rebuilding The truth about being "forever changed, not broken" Why time doesn't fix grief—but processing the pain does Homework for You Find a quiet place this week and journal through these prompts: 1️⃣ What part of me died when they died? 2️⃣ What part of me is still here, waiting to be known again? 3️⃣ What truth am I ready to stop fighting? You don't have to have perfect answers. You just have to begin writing them. Because healing starts the moment you stop trying to go back—and start facing the after. Resources + Next Steps 🎥 Get the Forever Changed Video Series — A 3-part self-guided video course with slides, reflection prompts, and deep-dive lessons to help you process your pain. 📘 Download the eBook "This Is Grief" — Learn the foundations of grief and what it really means to be forever changed. 🧠 Join The Grief School Study Hall — Live weekly support sessions where you can bring your questions, your tears, and your truth. 👉 Access everything at clickhereforhope.com

Episode Summary: This episode cracks open one of the most frightening and misunderstood parts of grief: when a memory hits your body like a shock. You're sitting still, lost in a moment with your person, and suddenly your stomach drops, your breath tightens, your heart races, and you remember all over again that they died. It feels like you're grieving in two places at once. Sharon Brubaker takes you inside the neurobiology behind that jolt. She breaks down how the hippocampus pulls old memories like scenes from a movie, why the amygdala tags those memories as danger, and how your brain fires survival signals long before you can think. This isn't denial and it isn't weakness. It is your nervous system trying to protect you from emotional injury, and it moves faster than the rest of you can keep up. Through real-life examples and clear teaching, Sharon explains why certain memories hit harder, why they cycle over and over, and why it feels like the loss is happening in real time even years later. Most importantly, she shows you what it takes to calm the system that's been stuck on high alert and how real healing begins when you learn to process the pain—rather than waiting for it to fade on its own. Key Points Discussed: • Why your brain drops you into old memories without warning • How the hippocampus and amygdala replay emotional pain as if it's happening now • Why the body reacts before the mind understands • What reconciliation shock is and why it feels like losing your person twice • How unresolved emotion keeps your nervous system stuck in survival mode • Why memory jolts soften once grief pain is processed • What Processing the Pain of Grief teaches your brain to finally settle Journal Questions: • What memory pulls your body into a sudden drop • What part of that memory still feels emotionally unresolved • How does your body respond before your mind catches up • What does the second wave feel like when the truth hits • What would change in your life if your brain learned to soften these jolts Conclusion: These memory shocks don't mean you're going backwards. They don't mean you're in denial. They are the biology of grief doing what it was never taught to do differently. When you learn how to process the pain, the brain finally stops hitting the danger button every time you touch the past. Your system settles. The memories soften. The grief stops feeling like an ambush. This is the work. This is the shift. This is where healing begins. Contact Us: Ready to calm your grief brain and learn how to process the pain, not just survive it Join Sharon Brubaker inside Processing the Pain of Grief, her live classroom where you learn what your brain is doing, how grief works in the body, and how to move the pain out instead of holding it in. Learn more and get support inside The Grief School community. Website: thegriefschool.com Contact: info@thegriefschool.com TikTok, YouTube, Instagram: @thegriefschool

Episode Summary: In this episode of Grieve That Shit, Sharon Brubaker talks about something most grievers never see coming: why normal sounds suddenly feel like an attack. The kids laughing, the microwave door slamming, a choir starting at church, a car alarm in the parking lot. Things you used to handle just fine now hit your body like lightning. Sharon walks you through what is really happening inside your grieving brain. She breaks down the amygdala, the nervous system, the HPA axis, and why grief flips all of them into survival mode. This is not you "being dramatic." This is biology. Your brain is trying to protect your broken heart and it does not know the difference between emotional danger and physical danger. Through real stories from her clients, Sharon shows how jumpiness, noise sensitivity, snapping at people, and shutting down in crowds are not personality flaws. They are signs that your grief system is stuck on high alert and has not been taught how to turn off. Then she shows you the path out: learning how to calm your brain by processing the pain of grief instead of running from it. Key Points Discussed: Why everyday noise can feel like an attack when you are grieving How the amygdala scans for emotional pain and treats it like danger What happens to your thinking center when grief hits and why you feel numb How the sympathetic nervous system keeps your body in survival mode Why your senses feel sharper, your reactions bigger, and your patience thinner The four grief responses Sharon sees most often: resisting, reacting, avoiding, and pretending How stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline keep your system on high alert Why this noise sensitivity is not permanent when you learn to process the pain How Processing the Pain of Grief helps calm your brain and soften your grief Journal Questions for Reflection: What sounds or situations make your body jump or tense up now that you are grieving Where do you notice your thinking has slowed down or feels foggy When was the last time you snapped or shut down and later realized you were not really mad at that person or thing What background noise or repeated behavior from others feels harder to tolerate since your loss What would it look like to give your brain and body a place to calm down instead of just pushing through Conclusion: Noise sensitivity in grief is not you "losing it." It is your grief biology doing its best to protect you with the only tools it knows. Your brain is on high alert. Your body is tired. Your system is trying to outrun the pain. But this does not have to be your forever. When you learn how to process the pain of grief, your nervous system can settle. Your thoughts get clearer. Your reactions soften. The world gets a little quieter again. You will still miss your person, but the grief does not have to feel like an attack every time a memory or a sound shows up. Contact Us: Ready to calm your grief brain and learn how to process the pain, not just survive it Join Sharon Brubaker inside Processing the Pain of Grief, her live classroom where you learn what your brain is doing, how grief works in the body, and how to move the pain out instead of holding it in. Learn more and get support inside The Grief School community. Website: thegriefschool.com Contact: info@thegriefschool.com TikTok, YouTube, Instagram: @thegriefschool

🎙️ Episode Summary: In this powerful episode of Grieve That Sh!t, Sharon Brubaker opens the door on one of the most misunderstood experiences in grief: the silent battle happening inside your body. After the loss of her nephew Austin, Sharon discovered that grief isn't just sadness. It's a full body takeover. It's your mind racing, your stomach twisting, your heart pounding, and your nervous system trying to protect you in ways that end up keeping you stuck. Through honest storytelling and deep reflection, Sharon explains why so many grievers stay busy, stay strong, and stay silent while their bodies carry the weight of what their hearts are terrified to feel. She shares the truth about resisting pain, pretending to be okay, and the invisible cost of swallowing your emotions day after day. If you've ever felt like your body reacts before your mind can catch up, or if you've wondered why your grief hits you out of nowhere, this episode will help you finally understand what's happening inside you. 🧠 Key Points Discussed: 1) Why resistance in grief feels safer but creates emotional paralysis 2) How the nervous system goes on high alert after loss and why that leads to exhaustion 3) What happens to your body when you stay busy instead of feeling your pain 4) Why pretending to be strong teaches everyone around you to avoid the truth 5) How swallowed emotions return louder, heavier, and more confusing 6) What it means when old memories surface years after the loss 7) How hiding your grief disconnects you from the people you love 8) Why you can't heal what you refuse to feel 9) How to begin turning toward your grief instead of away from it 📓 Journal Questions for Reflection: 1) Where am I resisting my pain instead of feeling it 2) What emotions have I been swallowing 3) Where have I been pretending to be okay 4) What memories or moments keep resurfacing and what might they be asking me to notice 5) What support would help me feel safe enough to stop being strong and start being honest 🩶 Conclusion: Your silence doesn't heal you. Your resistance doesn't protect you. Your pretending doesn't bring peace. Grief lives in your body until you turn toward it with honesty. Healing begins the moment you stop swallowing your truth and start letting yourself feel what's real. When you soften, even a little, your grief begins to move. When you let yourself name the pain, it finally has somewhere to go. You deserve relief. You deserve support. You deserve to let your body exhale. 📬 Contact Us: Ready to go deeper and get the support you've been needing Join Sharon Brubaker inside The Grief School community 📝 The Courage Club every Thursday at 10 AM CST Live inside The Grief School Facebook Group 🎤 Surviving the Holidays Masterclass now open thegriefschool.life/holidays2025 📧 Contact: info@thegriefschool.com 📲 TikTok, YouTube, Instagram: @thegriefschool

🎙️ Episode Summary: In this deeply personal episode of Grieve That Sh!t, grief specialist Sharon Brubaker opens her heart about the painful truths she learned after the death of her son, Austin. She shares the moments she wishes she had faced differently—the pretending, the resisting, and the avoiding—and how each of those choices kept her trapped in silence. Through raw honesty and reflection, Sharon reveals what she's learned about strength, vulnerability, and what real healing actually requires. If you've ever felt like you had to be strong for everyone else… or that your tears made you weak… this episode will meet you right where you are. You'll hear the truth about why hiding your pain doesn't protect you—it just delays the healing. 🧠 Key Points Discussed: What "being strong" really cost Sharon after her son's death The difference between surviving grief and processing it How pretending you're okay teaches everyone around you to do the same The danger of waiting for time to heal what needs to be faced What happens when grief becomes silence inside a family How to begin sharing your pain safely—with honesty, not performance Why feeling your grief doesn't make you weak, it makes you real 📓 Journal Questions for Reflection: Where in my life am I pretending to be strong? What would it look like to show up honestly in my grief? Who might be learning from the way I'm handling my pain? What's one thing I wish I had said—or still want to say—to my person? What kind of support would feel safe for me right now? 🩶 Conclusion: Grief doesn't need you to be strong. It needs you to be honest. You don't have to hide your pain, smile through it, or wait for time to fix it. Healing begins the moment you stop resisting what hurts and start letting yourself feel it. Because pretending keeps you stuck— but honesty opens the door to peace. 📬 Contact Us: Want to go deeper or get live support as you heal? Join Sharon Brubaker inside The Grief School community: 📝 Grief Study Hall – every Wednesday @ 7PM CST 📍 Live in The Grief School Facebook Group (link in comments) 🎤 Surviving the Holidays Masterclass – Now Open for Registration Learn how to move through this season with care, peace, and a plan for your heart. 👉 thegriefschool.life/holidays2025 📧 Contact: info@thegriefschool.com 📲 TikTok, YouTube, and Instagram: @thegriefschool

In this deeply moving and unforgettable episode of Grieve That Sh!t, grief specialist Sharon Brubaker shares a story that stopped her in her tracks, a moment that changed two families' lives forever. What began as an ordinary drive with her husband turned into a tragedy they witnessed unfold before their eyes. Through this raw, emotional experience, Sharon explores how quickly life can change, how grief shatters the illusion of time, and what it truly means to live with awareness, compassion, and love before it's too late. This episode isn't just about loss it's about the fragility of life, the depth of empathy, and the sacred invitation to love harder, forgive faster, and be present now.   🧠 Key Points Discussed: How grief can enter your life in one split second Why no one is immune to loss—grief is the great equalizer The illusion of "time" and how we waste it on silence, anger, or pride The difference between empathy and agreement—and why both matter How witnessing tragedy reminds us that everyone is carrying invisible pain Why judgment has no place in grief What it means to truly "love in the now" and not wait for later How unspoken words become the loudest echoes after loss   📓 Journal Questions for Reflection: What moment in your life divided your world into "before" and "after"? What are the words you wish you had said—and who still needs to hear them? Who do you need to forgive or apologize to today? What would loving harder and living slower look like for you right now? How can you honor both sides of a painful story—with empathy instead of blame?   🩶 Conclusion: Life changes in an instant. One minute you're laughing at a gas station—and the next, everything is different. Grief doesn't wait for your permission. It breaks in, rewrites your story, and asks you to start living with your eyes open. You cannot control what happens, but you can choose how you show up when it does. So before you go to bed tonight—say what needs to be said. Tell your people you love them. Forgive where you can. Because the ache in your heart is proof that it still works.   📬 Contact Us: If your heart feels heavy after this episode, that's okay. That means it's working. Come sit with us and learn to process your grief with guidance and community.   📝 Processing the Pain of Grief – Join the self-guided program and begin healing today 💻 clickhereforhope.com 🎄 Holiday Grief Care Plan Masterclass – November 8 at 7PM CST If the holidays feel impossible, this class will help you breathe again. You can join one session for $19, or get the full bundle for $47 to receive all October freebies, recordings, and access to November and December's live sessions. 📧 Contact: hello@thegriefschool.com 📲 TikTok, YouTube, Instagram: @thegriefschool

"Avoiding the pain won't make it go away—it only teaches it to hide." In this episode of Grieve That Shit, grief specialist Sharon Brubaker breaks down one of the sneakiest traps that keeps grievers stuck: avoidance. When life shatters, the natural instinct is to run from the pain, to stay busy, and to pretend you're doing fine. But as Sharon reminds us, ignoring grief doesn't erase it—it buries it. This episode dives deep into what happens when we try to outsmart our pain. Sharon explains why our brains convince us to avoid reminders of our person, how distraction becomes a survival skill that turns into a lifestyle, and how avoidance slowly shrinks our world until even joy feels out of reach. She shares real, compassionate tools to help you stop running from grief and begin facing it—one small, brave step at a time. What You'll Learn in This Episode Why grief convinces you that avoiding pain will make it fade The difference between healthy, temporary breaks and lifelong avoidance How avoidance shows up in daily life—from over-cleaning to staying "too busy" Why the longer you avoid your grief, the smaller your world becomes Simple, gentle steps to start meeting your grief instead of running from it Homework for You Take five quiet minutes this week to notice when you avoid your feelings. Ask yourself: 1. What emotion am I trying not to feel right now? 2. Where do I feel it in my body? 3. Then set a time limit for your avoidance. 4. Give yourself permission to take a break, but also promise yourself to come back—to cry, to write, to feel. That's how you begin to heal. Resources + Next Steps Check what's happening in the Grief School: clickhereforhope.com Join Grief Study Hall – live support with Sharon every Tuesday at 1 PM CST Sign up for the Surviving Christmas Masterclass on November 8th to create your holiday grief plan Follow Sharon on TikTok and YouTube at @thegriefschool

"Grief isn't just sadness—it's a full-body takeover. It's the storm that hits when love has nowhere left to land." In this episode of Grieve That Shit, Sharon Brubaker takes you back to the foundation of it all: understanding what grief actually is. For too long, we've been fed clichés about "moving on" or "staying strong," while no one ever taught us how to live through the ache. Sharon unpacks the real definition of grief—the kind you feel in your bones. She shares what she wishes she'd known when her nephew Austin died, and why understanding the truth about grief changes everything. This isn't theory—it's lived experience, raw and unfiltered. You'll learn why grief isn't just emotional, but physical. Why it feels unnatural even though it's the most natural thing in the world. And why no two people grieve the same, even when they're mourning the same person. By the end of this episode, you'll stop asking "what's wrong with me?" and start realizing: nothing is wrong with you. Your grief is proof that you loved deeply. What You'll Learn in This Episode Why grief is normal and natural—and what that really means The truth about conflicted feelings and why you can miss someone and still feel relief they're gone How grief becomes physical, showing up in your body as much as in your heart Why your grief will never look like anyone else's How naming your grief gives you power to begin healing Homework for You Print this out and do it this week: Write down three moments when grief hits you the hardest. Is it when you wake up? When you reach for the phone to call them? When silence gets too loud? Then, for each moment, write one sentence starting with: "This is grief." "This is grief when I reach for the phone." "This is grief when I cook their favorite meal." "This is grief when I laugh and feel guilty right after." Naming it helps you see it for what it is—love looking for a place to land. Resources + Next Steps 📘 Download your free eBook: clickhereforhope.com 🎥 Get the video series "This Is Grief" – self-guided lessons that walk you through Sharon's full teaching on the definition of grief. 🧠 Join Grief Study Hall – live support with Sharon every Tuesday at 1 PM CST.

"Loneliness in grief isn't just about missing your person—it's about missing the version of yourself you were when they were alive. Naming that loneliness is how you stop drowning in it."  In this episode of Grieve That Shit, Sharon Brubaker takes on one of the hardest truths of grief: loneliness. Even in a crowded room, grief makes you feel like you're on another planet. People may surround you, but no one else can feel the exact pain you're carrying.  Sharon unpacks why grief is so isolating—why people avoid your pain, why you feel like you don't belong anywhere, and why loneliness feeds the heaviness of loss. Most importantly, she shows you how to name it, face it, and take small steps to soften it so it doesn't drown you.  What You'll Learn in This Episode  Why grief makes you feel lonely, even when you're not alone  How silence and avoidance from others deepen the isolation  The difference between missing your person and missing the version of yourself when they were alive  Why naming loneliness out loud is a powerful first step  Small ways to create connection when everything feels hollow  Homework for You  Print this out and do it this week:  Write down the moments when loneliness hits you the hardest.  Is it in the morning?  At night?  During family gatherings?  For each moment, write one small action you could try—not to erase the loneliness, but to soften it.  Call one safe person.  Light a candle and say their name.  Sit with someone who will let you cry without fixing it.    Resources + Next Steps  Download your free eBook: https://clickhereforhope.com/  Join Grief Study Hall – live support with Sharon every Tuesday at 1 PM CST. Sign up at Grief Study Hall 

"We should've been given hip-high boots and a damn instruction manual. Instead, we're dropped into grief with nothing but clichés. But here's the truth—you can face the pile, grieve it, and climb out."  In this episode of Grieve That Shit, Sharon Brubaker gets brutally honest about what grief really feels like: like stepping straight into a hip-high pile of shit with no warning, no boots, and no map out.  Nobody prepared us for the sleepless nights, the chest-crushing pain, or the brain fog that makes you feel like you're losing your mind. Nobody told us grief would come with silence from friends, family drama, and the pressure to "be strong." Instead, we're left to stumble through the mess with nothing but bad advice and our broken hearts.  This episode is your manual for facing that pile, wading through it, and finding a way out—without pretending it's not there.  What You'll Learn in This Episode  Why grief feels like drowning in a pile of shit no one warned us about  The ways society avoids preparing us for loss  How grief takes over your body and makes simple things feel impossible  The extra weight of silence, guilt, and bad advice  The first steps to facing grief instead of resisting it  Homework for You  Print this out and do it this week:  Write down your personal version of "the pile."  Is it the silence from friends?  The guilt that won't let go?  The exhaustion that never ends?  The family drama that made it worse?  Circle the one part of the pile that feels heaviest right now. That's where you start. Naming it is the first step to grieving it.  Resources + Next Steps  Download your free eBook: https://clickhereforhope.com/  Join Grief Study Hall – live support with Sharon every Tuesday at 1 PM CST. Sign up at Grief Study Hall.

"The shit is not just the loss itself—it's the lies, the silence, the guilt, and the pressure that come with it. You didn't create it, but you can name it. And once you name it, you can grieve it."  In this episode of Grieve That Shit, Sharon Brubaker breaks down what "the shit" actually means. Grief isn't just the pain of missing your person—it's all the lies, the silence, the pressure, and the guilt that come piled on top of the loss.  From the bad advice ("time heals") to the avoidance (people ducking you at the grocery store), Sharon calls it out. This is the part nobody warns you about, the weight that makes grief feel heavier than it already is. And until you name it, you can't begin to move through it.  What You'll Learn in This Episode  The real meaning behind "grieve that shit"  Why clichés and cultural rules about grief keep you stuck  How silence and avoidance from others add to the pain  The difference between grieving your person and grieving the shit around the loss  Why naming the shit is the first step toward healing  Homework for You  Print this out and work through it:  1. Write your personal list of "the shit" you've been carrying.  o   What lies have you been told?  o   What guilt do you wrestle with?  o   What moments still knock the wind out of you?  2. Say it out loud: "This is my pile of shit." Don't soften it. Don't excuse it. Just name it.  Resources + Next Steps  Download your free eBook: https://clickhereforhope.com/  Join Grief Study Hall – live support with Sharon every Tuesday at 1 PM CST. Sign up at Grief Study Hall    

"Grief is not polite. It's not delicate. It doesn't wait until you're ready. It crashes in and takes over your whole life. So let's stop pretending—and let's grieve that shit." On the very first episode of Grieve That Shit, Sharon Brubaker rips the mask off grief and tells the truth: grief is messy, painful, and nothing like the world says it should be.  Sharon shares the moment her life split in two with the death of her nephew Austin and why she chose to call this podcast Grieve That Shit. You'll learn why clichés like "time heals" do more harm than good, why grief is a full-body experience, and why facing the pain head-on is the only way through.  This episode sets the tone for everything that's coming: raw honesty, calling out the lies, and creating a space where you can finally stop pretending and start healing. What You'll Learn in This Episode  Why Sharon chose the name Grieve That Shit  How grief takes over your entire body—not just your emotions  The truth about "being strong" and why it blocks healing  Why laughter and tears often show upside by side in grief  The first step toward actually healing    Homework for You  Print this out and do it this week:  Grab a notebook and write your version of the shit.  What lies have you been told about grief?  What feelings are you pushing down?  What moments knock the wind out of you?  Don't edit it. Don't make it pretty. Just get it on the page. Naming your pile of shit is the first step to grieving it.  Resources + Next Steps  Download your free eBook:   Download your free eBook: clickhereforhope.com  Join Grief Study Hall – live support with Sharon every Tuesday at 1 PM CST.   Sign up Grief Study Hall 

Episode Summary: Welcome to Healing Starts With the Heart, the podcast where grief meets resilience. In this episode, grief specialist Sharon Brubaker gets raw and real about the unspoken chaos of grief—what it feels like in your body, why your mind can't stop replaying the moment it all changed, and how society leaves us completely unprepared to deal with it. From the hospital diagnosis to the late-night phone call that split life into "before and after," Sharon lays out what really happens when grief hits—and why it's not weakness, madness, or something you just "get over." It's a full-body, full-heart experience that demands to be felt. If you've ever wondered "What the hell is happening to me?" this episode is your answer: you're not broken—you're grieving. 🧠 Key Points Discussed: The moment everything changes: the call, the diagnosis, the hospital, the knock at the door. Why grief is a full-body experience—chest tightness, heavy head, shallow breath, restless nervous system, twisted stomach, sleepless nights. The battle between your logical mind (searching for answers) and your heart (knowing the truth). How grief shows up in everyday life—seeing their favorite cereal in the store, picking up the phone to call them, lying awake at night unable to breathe. The danger of performing instead of grieving—wearing a smile, staying busy, saying "I'm fine," while silently falling apart. Why society has left us unprepared: no one showed us how to grieve, only how to hide. Grief isn't just sadness—it's anger, numbness, confusion, shutdown, and longing all at once. Pain is not the problem; pretending is. Surviving grief is not about fixing or outrunning it—it's about one breath, one moment, one day at a time. Tools Sharon shares in That Grief Sht* ebook + video series: Why grief feels like it does in the body What it means to "be strong" vs. fall apart Allowing emotions (anger, numbness, tears) instead of suppressing them Answering the question: Am I crazy or am I normal? 📓 Journal Questions for Reflection: What was the moment my life split into "before" and "after"? How does grief show up in my body right now? Where am I performing instead of allowing myself to feel? What everyday moments trigger my grief—and what do they teach me about my love? How have I silenced my emotions to comfort others? What might it look like to take grief one moment, one breath, at a time? 🩶 Conclusion: Grief is not weakness. It's not madness. It's love with nowhere to go. You were never taught how to grieve—only how to perform, suppress, and "be strong." But pretending suffocates the heart. Healing starts when you stop performing and let yourself feel. So if you're exhausted from holding it all together, if your nervous system is on fire and your heart is begging to be heard—this episode is your reminder: you are not broken. You are grieving. And grieving is natural. One moment, one breath, one day at a time—you will survive this. 📬 Contact Us: ✨ Upcoming Events: 📝 Grief Study Hall – Wednesdays @ 7PM CST 📍 Live in The Grief School Facebook Group 🎤 Grieve That Sht* – Next Live Lecture: Monday, August 4th @ 7PM CST 💻 clickhereforhope.com (Sign up to attend or receive the replay) 📩 Email: info@thegriefschool.com 📱 TikTok, Instagram, YouTube: @thegriefschool

Episode Summary: Welcome to Healing Starts With the Heart, where grief gets real and healing gets honest. In this episode, grief specialist Sharon Brubaker pulls back the curtain on the 9 biggest lies we've been told about grief—and how they've shaped generations of silent suffering. From pretending you're okay to being told "just stay busy," this episode is a deep and raw dive into the ways our society teaches us to perform instead of process our pain. If you've ever felt like you're grieving "wrong," this is your invitation to unlearn the myths and finally make space for the truth: you are not broken—just unheard. 🧠 Key Points Discussed: Why most of us were never taught to grieve—and inherited myths from people who were also grieving The 9 biggest lies we've been told about grief, including: If it's not death or divorce, it's not grief Stay busy and it will help Don't feel bad Grieve alone If you're not crying, it's not grief Just replace the loss Be strong for others Time will heal Moving forward means forgetting How these lies lead to emotional isolation, pretending, resentment, and long-term unresolved grief Why crying isn't weakness—and "being strong" often just means shutting down What it means to truly acknowledge grief, and how that creates space for healing 📓 Journal Questions for Reflection: Which of these grief lies have I believed or been told? Where in my life am I pretending to be "okay"? What emotions have I been taught to suppress in grief? What version of myself have I lost that I haven't grieved? How has staying busy or being strong delayed my healing? 🩶 Conclusion: You weren't given the tools to grieve—because no one ever gave them to the people who raised you either. You were handed myths instead of truth, silence instead of support. But it's not too late to start over. It's not too late to unlearn. Grief isn't a mindset problem. It's not something you fix with strength or smiles. Grief is a wound that deserves your attention, your honesty, and your community. So if you're tired of pretending, if the lies about how to grieve are weighing you down—this episode is your permission slip to finally grieve out loud. 📬 Contact Us: ✨ Upcoming Events: 📝 Grief Study Hall – Wednesdays @ 7PM CST 📍Live in The Grief School Facebook Group 🎤 Grieve That Sht – Next Live Lecture: Monday, August 4th @ 7PM CST 💻 clickhereforhope.com (Sign up to attend or receive the replay) 📩 Email: info@thegriefschool.com 📱 TikTok, Instagram, YouTube: @thegriefschool