Dad's Guide to Twins

The transition from two naps to one is honestly one of the trickier phases of twin parenting. I remember when my girls hit this stage around 16 months, and suddenly our predictable rhythm fell apart for a few weeks. One twin was ready, the other wasn’t, and we found ourselves managing different schedules while also trying to keep everyone from melting down by 4 p.m. Here’s what I learned from our experience and what actually works when your twins are making this shift. Quick Takeaways Most twins transition between 15-18 months, but they don’t always do it at the same time The transition period usually lasts 2-6 weeks of some days needing two naps, other days just one Aim for a midday nap around 12:30-1:00 p.m. once they’re fully transitioned Early bedtimes (sometimes 30-60 minutes earlier) can save you on rough one-nap days Your twins will eventually sync up, even if they’re on different schedules temporarily How You Know They’re Ready For One Nap Your twins might be ready to drop that morning nap when they start fighting it consistently, taking forever to fall asleep, or when one nap becomes ridiculously short (like 20 minutes). With my girls, one would lie in her crib talking to herself for 45 minutes while her sister crashed immediately. Here’s the thing though. Your twins won’t necessarily be ready at the same time. One of my daughters was clearly done with two naps a solid three weeks before her sister. This is completely normal, even though it feels frustrating when you’re trying to manage two different schedules. Research shows that even identical twins can hit developmental milestones at different times (and sleep transitions definitely count as milestones). If one twin is ready and the other isn’t, resist the urge to force them onto the same schedule right away. A twin who drops a nap too early becomes overtired, which paradoxically makes everything worse. They fight sleep harder, wake up more at night, and turn into tiny cranky humans by dinner. I learned this the hard way. What the Nap Transition Actually Looks Like The switch from two naps to one rarely happens cleanly. Most kids (twins included) go through this weird in-between phase where some days they need two naps and other days they can handle just one. This phase lasted about a month with my girls, and I honestly thought it would never end. You’ll know you’re in the transition when your twins are cranky, clumsy, rubbing their eyes constantly, or getting weirdly hyperactive in the late afternoon. These are classic overtired signs. When you see them, move bedtime earlier that night. Sometimes we’d do bedtime at 6:30 p.m. instead of our usual 7:30 p.m., and it made a huge difference. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, toddlers this age still need 11-14 hours of total sleep in a 24-hour period. If they’re only napping once, that single nap needs to be solid (usually 1.5 to 3 hours), and nighttime sleep becomes even more important. Creating a Schedule That Actually Works Once both twins are fully on one nap, you’re aiming for that nap to fall right in the middle of the day. We landed on 12:30 p.m. as our sweet spot, but anywhere between noon and 1 p.m. works for most families. Here’s what our typical day looked like: Wake up: 6:30-7:00 a.m. Nap: 12:30-2:30 or 3:00 p.m. Bedtime: 7:00-7:30 p.m. Your twins can probably handle about 5-6 hours of awake time before they need sleep at this age. So if they wake at 7 a.m., they’re ready for a nap by 12:30 p.m., then can stay up until 7:30 p.m. for bed. Adjust based on what you’re seeing from your own kids. The length of that single nap varies a lot between twins. One of my girls would sleep for three hours straight, while her sister topped out at two hours. As long as they’re getting enough total sleep and seem happy, you’re golden. When They’re on Different Schedules If your twins stay on different schedules for a while, you’re going to need some creative solutions. When one of my daughters still needed that morning nap and the other didn’t, we’d put the sleepy twin down in our bedroom while her sister had independent play time in the living room (with my wife or I nearby, supervising). Here’s what worked for us: Morning nap twin slept in a different room temporarily Non-napping twin got special “quiet time” with books or puzzles Afternoon nap stayed synchronized for both in their shared room We maintained this split schedule for about three weeks Yes, this is more work for you. There’s no getting around that. But it respects where each twin is developmentally, and honestly, they did sync up eventually. Most twins align their schedules once they’re both fully established on one nap. During this phase, the afternoon nap when both twins were sleeping can become a much needed lifeline. That is your time to recharge, get things done, or just sit quietly with a cup of coffee. Surviving the Late Afternoon Danger Zone The hours between 4 p.m. and bedtime can get rough during this transition. Your twins are tired but not quite ready for bed, and everyone’s patience is wearing thin. What helped us get through: Moving dinner earlier (sometimes as early as 5:30 p.m.) Going outside for a walk or backyard play Giving a small snack to stabilize blood sugar Starting the bedtime routine earlier than usual Doing a warm bath to help them relax If one of your twins falls asleep in the car at 5 p.m. on the way home from somewhere, wake them gently when you arrive. I know this feels wrong (who wants to wake a sleeping baby?), but a 20-minute car nap at that time will push bedtime back significantly and mess up nighttime sleep. Your evening will go much smoother if you keep them awake until proper bedtime. Managing Naps When You’re Out Life doesn’t stop just because your twins are transitioning naps. You’ll have appointments, errands, and older kids’ activities to manage. On days when you need to be out during nap time, try to preserve at least part of the nap, even if it happens in the stroller or car. I’m not going to tell you that car naps are ideal, because they’re not. But they’re better than completely skipping the nap and dealing with two meltdowns by 3 p.m. If you know you’ll be out, consider shifting the nap slightly earlier or later to capture some sleep time at home first. We also got strategic about scheduling. Doctor appointments went in the morning. Grocery runs happened right after the twins woke up from their nap. Playdates with other families? Those happened during the late morning when everyone was awake but not yet losing it. What Worked in Our House My wife and I developed a few strategies that genuinely helped during those transition weeks. We built in “bridge activities” for late morning when the girls were getting tired but weren’t quite ready for their midday nap. Our go-to quiet activities: Reading books on the couch (all of us piled together) Doing simple puzzles on the floor Playing with playdough at the kitchen table Looking at pictures from past family trips These activities were calm enough that they didn’t wind the girls up, but engaging enough that they made it to nap time without someone falling asleep on the living room floor at 11 a.m. For room-sharing twins (like ours), the single nap usually works smoothly because they’re already used to sleeping in each other’s presence. But if one twin consistently wakes the other, you might need to temporarily separate them until they’re both sleeping more soundly through the nap. The Research on Twin Sleep Development Turns out, the timing of this nap transition isn’t random. Studies show that most children drop to one nap between 15-18 months as their circadian rhythms mature and they can handle longer wake periods. What this meant for us was that even though my daughters were three weeks apart in dropping that morning nap, they both settled into a solid one-nap routine by the time they were 17 months old. The transition period felt long while we were in it, but it was actually pretty typical. The key is that total sleep matters more than when that sleep happens. According to sleep researchers, as long as your twins are getting their 11-14 hours combined between nighttime and that one nap, their brains and bodies are getting what they need to develop properly. Taking Care of Yourself This transition is exhausting for you too. You’re managing two toddlers who might be out of sorts, possibly on different schedules, and dealing with the unpredictability of not knowing if today is a one-nap day or a two-nap day. Give yourself permission to simplify everything else. When my girls were going through this, we had more screen time than usual, ate simpler meals (hello, pasta with butter three nights a week), and I said no to pretty much every optional commitment. Your twins are working hard to adjust to a new sleep pattern, and you’re working hard to help them through it. We also learned to take advantage of any overlapping sleep time, even if it was just 45 minutes to have some down time for ourselves. What Comes After Once your twins successfully transition to one nap (and they will, I promise), you’ll settle into a new rhythm that often works really well for the whole family. That single midday nap provides a predictable chunk of time in the middle of the day when you can recharge, get things done, or spend time with other kids if you have them. Most children stay on this one-nap schedule until somewhere between ages three and five. With my girls, we had nearly two years of this routine before they dropped naps entirely (which is a whole different transition I wasn’t ready for). The beautiful part is that once you’re past those transitional weeks, life gets more predictable again. You can plan your days around one nap instead of two, which actually opens up more possibilities for morning outings and activities. You’ll Get Through This I won’t lie and say the two-to-one nap transition is easy, especially with twins. Those few weeks

Let’s be honest: even if you think you have an excellent memory, the combination of sleep deprivation and caring for two babies will quickly prove you wrong. Those early weeks with twins at home create a perfect storm of exhaustion that makes even the simplest details slip away. Here’s the reality: you’re responsible for keeping two little humans alive and thriving, but your brain feels like it’s running on fumes. That’s where logging becomes your lifeline. Why You Need to Track Everything In those first weeks, you’ll find yourself asking: Which baby ate last, and when? Who had the messy diaper an hour ago? How long have they been napping? When is the next feeding due? Did we give them their medication today? Without a system to track these details, you’ll spend precious energy trying to remember information your tired brain simply can’t hold onto reliably. The Simple Solution: Write It All Down The rule is beautifully straightforward: Just fed a baby? Write it down. Just changed a diaper? Write it down. Put them down for a nap? Write it down. Gave medication? Write it down. Choose Your Logging Method The best logging system is the one you’ll actually use consistently. Here are several options to consider: Traditional Pen and Paper Always available, no battery required Easy to leave by the changing station or nursing area Both parents can quickly jot down information Can use a twin tracking log like these Mobile Apps Baby Tracker, Glow Baby, and similar apps designed for new parents Often include helpful features like growth tracking and feeding timers Can send notifications for upcoming feedings or medication times Digital Spreadsheets Excel or Google Sheets allow for easy data analysis later Can be shared between parents for real-time updates Great for parents who love organizing data Shared Documents Google Docs or similar platforms let both parents access and update from anywhere Perfect for when one parent is at work and wants to check in on the day’s progress Father of twins Chris Wejr shared that his “mirror was covered with times as we’re trying to figure who fed at what time and how long and all those sort of things” during the chaotic first few months with his twin girls. A visible, low-tech system for tracking feeding times and durations might be all you need. Personalize Your Log for Maximum Value Eric Langenderfer, a father of identical twin boys, mentioned that while in the hospital, they were required to chart everything, which he found inconvenient on paper. When they brought the babies home, he created a small online database where he and his wife could log feedings and other activities from their phones, including timestamps. Make your logging system work for your family by including: Essential Daily Tracking Feeding times and amounts Diaper changes (wet/dirty) Sleep periods Medication schedules Special Moments First smiles, coos, or other milestones Unique twin interactions (like holding hands) Funny or memorable moments from each day Health and Development Notes Questions for the pediatrician Concerns or observations about either baby Growth measurements and appointment reminders Parent Check-ins Simple mood tracker for both parents Notes about what’s working well or causing stress Reminders to support each other Turn Your Log into a Powerful Tool Your log isn’t just a record, it’s a valuable analytical resource. After a few weeks of consistent tracking, look for patterns: Fussy periods: Does one baby get cranky at the same time each day? Sleep patterns: Are there natural rhythms you can build routines around? Feeding issues: Could certain times or amounts be causing problems? Growth trends: Are both babies developing at healthy rates? These insights can help you anticipate needs, adjust schedules, and even identify potential health concerns early. Avoid Common Logging Pitfalls Don’t aim for perfection: Missing an entry here and there won’t ruin anything. Focus on consistency over completeness. Don’t let it create stress: The log should make your life easier, not become another source of anxiety. If you’re spending more time logging than caring for your babies, scale back. Know when to ease up: As your twins develop predictable routines (usually around 8-12 weeks), you can gradually reduce the detail of your logging. Your Communication Lifeline Perhaps most importantly, your log serves as a crucial communication tool between caregivers. Instead of trying to remember and relay every detail when your partner comes home, they can quickly scan the log to understand the day’s events. This eliminates the constant “Did you feed them?” questions and helps everyone stay informed without lengthy explanations. The Bottom Line Those first weeks with twins can feel overwhelming, but a simple logging system will help you: Keep your sanity by eliminating the mental burden of remembering everything Keep your babies safe by ensuring consistent care and catching potential issues early Keep your partnership strong by improving communication and reducing stress Remember: this intense logging phase is temporary. Once routines establish and you’re getting more sleep, you’ll naturally need less detailed tracking. But during those crucial early weeks, your log will be the anchor that keeps everything organized and everyone healthy. Trust the system, write it down, and give yourself the gift of one less thing to worry about during this beautiful but challenging time. The post Why you need a daily log for your twins appeared first on Dad's Guide to Twins.

With twins in the house a big point of contention will be sharing. You might think that the easy way for you as the parent would be to get two of everything. However, this surely won’t work all the time and definitely doesn’t build character. And as we all know, your job as a dad, of course, is to “build character.” Right? Twin dad Kris Lloyd noticed that even when he bought “two of everything” for his non-identical twin girls, they wouldn’t necessarily use them at the same time, and “they always want the same exact” item the other twin is currently using. He found that the second item often “hardly got used much”. This was often the case in our home where one girl always wanted what the other had even if there were two identical items. So you have to solve the root problem to get a peaceful and happy home: teach your twins how to share from a very early age. Turn Timer Be careful when trying to force sharing. Instead of forcing one twin to hand over a toy to the other, focus on the concept of taking turns between twins. One trick that worked for us was the turn timer. We used a portable kitchen timer as the “turn timer”. When our girls would fight over something we’d pull out the timer, declare that it was so-and-so’s turn now and that it would be the other’s turn when the timer went ding. We’d set the timer for a minute or two based on how long we thought our child’s attention span was. After starting the timer, we’d ask the kid with the coveted item: “What happens when the timer dings?” and make sure they understand the turn-taking process. Yes, your twins get plenty of opportunities to share between themselves and other siblings. However, they still need some help and structure to get them in the good habits you are hoping to help them develop. It does baffle me that the kids will often listen to a small kitchen timer instead of just being obedient when my wife or I ask them to do something. Oh, well. There is nothing wrong with some extra tools in the parenting toolbox. Distract If taking turns isn’t going as smoothly as you’d like, then try the old distraction technique. Say, “Hey, look at that!” or pull out another toy or delicious food item to distract the sad, I-didn’t-get-what-I-want twin. Wait a Minute Especially when your twins are young, their attention span is extremely short. This means two things: First, set the turn timer for a very short time. Second, don’t be surprised if the item they were fighting over is discarded and your twins have moved on to something else rather quickly. The good news about sharing is that typically, your twins will be sharing better and earlier when compared to other singletons their same age. Here are those tips rewritten specifically for helping twins learn to share: Model the Behavior Your twins learn by watching adults and each other. Make a point of visibly and verbally sharing things with your twins and between family members. For example, say, “I’m going to share some of my popcorn with both of you,” or “I’m sharing my book with Mommy so we can read together.” Father of twins Tim Robinson emphasizes teaching good manners and communication from a young age. He insists on phrases like “Milk please” or “Excuse me, Mommy/Daddy”. He observes that this approach helps them interact, sometimes resulting in one twin saying, “Excuse me, brother, can I have that toy please?” which he finds “the cutest thing I’ve ever seen”. Use Positive Reinforcement Praise your twins when you see them sharing with each other, even if it’s a small act. Use descriptive praise, such as, “I love how you shared your blocks with your sister. It made her so happy to build that tower together with you!” You should verbally praise your kids when they share. That will encourage this good behavior. Encourage Empathy Help your twins understand each other’s feelings. Once they are old enough to express their feelings, you can ask, “How do you think your sister (or insert the twin’s name) feels when they don’t get a turn?” or “Look how happy your brother is now that they get to play with the toy car too.” Respect Their Individual Possessions Give each twin a choice about what they are willing to share. Before playtime, let them each put away any special toys they don’t want to share with their twin. This teaches them that their individual possessions are respected and may make them more willing to share other items. Help your twins understand that some items belong specifically to each of them, while others are family toys meant for sharing. Use labels, special boxes, or designated spaces to make these boundaries clear. Play Cooperative Games Engage your twins in games that require teamwork and turn-taking, such as building a tower with blocks together, doing a puzzle as a team, or playing simple board games. This helps them practice working together as twins in a fun, low-pressure environment. Read Books About Sharing Use story time as an opportunity to teach your twins about sharing and kindness together. Many children’s books feature siblings or characters who learn the importance of sharing, which can be especially relatable for twins navigating their unique relationship. Create “Twin Time” and “Individual Time” Set aside specific periods where twins must share and play together, but also ensure each twin gets individual time with toys and activities. This balance helps them appreciate both togetherness and personal space. Teach “Twin Negotiation” Skills Since twins will be navigating shared resources their whole lives, teach them phrases like “Can we take turns?” or “How about we play together?” rather than just taking toys from each other. Be Mindful of Comparison Avoid saying things like “Why can’t you share like your sister does?” Instead, focus on each child’s individual growth in sharing skills. Twins Advantage: Learning to Share Early Your twins have shared even the very basics of life since they were in-utero and waiting to be born. There they shared nourishment from mother as well as very tight living quarters. After birth, your twins will share feeding times, cribs, clothes, and toys. Out of necessity and circumstances, your twins have been sharing from the very beginning. This is a great advantage to them, and to you as the twin parent, as it will accustom your twins to both the need to share and their ability to do so. Technically, you can probably buy duplicates of many things and avoid sharing. But that won’t work for everything. The biggest thing that your twins will share is your time. You can’t buy any more of this precious resource. You will have to split your attention between your twin little ones on many occasions. There are some things in life that your twins will always have to share, and this is one of those things. We’ve seen our girls have a great propensity to share and help each other even from a very young age. Take advantage of the sharing situation your twins will have and help reinforce and nurture this sharing characteristic in your twins. The sharing habit will benefit them (and you) throughout their lives. Pictures by Nate Davis and surlygirl The post How to Teach Your Twins to Share appeared first on Dad's Guide to Twins.

One of the challenges with twins is that they get sick. Sickness doesn’t always strike both twins simultaneously. Your twins will catch a cold, get the flu, have a stomach bug, or come down with any number of other contagious illnesses. This brings up the question: how do you keep one twin healthy when the other is sick? Is it Worth it? Every time one of our twins get sick, we have to ask ourselves: does it matter if the other kids get sick too? Is this one of those colds or stomach bugs that they’ll get eventually anyway? Does this “build their immunity”? These are very subjective questions and the answers really depend on your parenting style. Generally speaking in our house, if the child doesn’t have a fever, we aren’t too concerned if the other kids catch it. That said, when in doubt, always give your pediatrician a call. Many parents of twins find it’s often a losing battle to prevent the healthy twin from getting sick. Rather than focusing solely on prevention, it may be more helpful to also prepare for the inevitable, such as by stocking up on sick-day essentials for both children. Father of twins Aaron Ameen shared his experience that since all three of his young children attend daycare, they experience a “revolving door of sickness”. He observed that illness completely overthrows any established routines and systems, making it a particularly tough time for parents, especially if the parents also fall sick. When the children are sick, they don’t sleep as well, requiring one or both parents to take time off work, which creates practical challenges for working parents. Separate Them Keeping your twins from spreading their germs is an almost impossible task. When your twins are infants, you can’t teach them good health habits and they can’t take care of themselves. Toddlers and older kids don’t always practice good hygiene, will forget to cover their coughs and sneezes, and tend to do a poor job washing their hands. If you want to improve your odds of preventing the spread of the illness, you could isolate your sick twin in his or her room. Avoid sharing clothes, toys, towels, kitchen supplies, etc. that the sick twin uses. Twin dad Tim Brien shared that when one of his kindergarten-aged twins gets sick, the other also has a “really, really hard time,” and they usually keep both children home from school. He also mentioned that when both of his two-and-a-half-year-old twins were sick, they amazingly tried to take care of each other. Think Sanitation Keeping your whole family healthy starts before anyone gets sick. Teach your twins good practices like how to effectively wash their hands. We like to have our kids sing “Happy Birthday” twice while scrubbing their hands so they know they washed long enough. Teach your twins to cough or sneeze into a tissue or into their elbow or sleeve. They should never sneeze or cough into their hands. You should not stress excessively about sanitizing the entire house. It’s okay to let everyone get sick and recover, rather than making yourself crazy trying to prevent it. Balance what is right for your family and situation. Lower Your Expectations During a sick period, it’s okay to let routines and schedules slide. The focus should be on getting everyone through the illness, not on maintaining a perfect schedule. This includes being more relaxed about screen time or a lack of routine. Keep Yourself Healthy You are the primary caregiver, and if you get sick, it makes caring for your twins (especially if one or both is sick) much more difficult. While caring for your sick twin(s) make sure that you do everything you can to stay healthy. Eat well, get your rest, and wash your hands. If you get sick on top of having to care for sick kids, things will get really tough. The best sick times in our family are when my wife and I take turns being sick. This way there is always a parent available to carry the load while the other recovers. Father of twins Chris Titus described an instance where his wife was sick, and he took over the entire nighttime shift to care for their twin infants so she could get a full night’s rest and recover. This highlights the importance of proactive teamwork between you and your partner, especially when one parent is ill. Sometimes instead of an illness, one twin gets injured and the other twin is totally fine. Instead of worrying about cross contamination, you’ll need to shift attention to care and recovery. Here’s an example of when one of our twin daughters needed stitches. Picture by Kourtlyn Lott The post How to Keep One Twin Healthy When the Other is Sick appeared first on Dad's Guide to Twins.

We’ve got identical girls and often rely on their mannerisms and personalities to tell them apart. If you rely on this too, or hope to, be careful: twins switch personality traits at will. For example, one of our infant girls would be shy one week while the other was a social butterfly. Just when you thought that was the pattern, they switched and the social standout would cry hysterically with strangers. Go figure. We’ve seen switching of twin personalities and traits from an early age in all these cases: who is a good eater who is a wiggle worm who wakes up first who takes good naps who drinks her bottle in one sitting who smiles at strangers who makes what sounds (when our girls weren’t talking yet) who steals toys from the other So if you want to keep your twins straight, particularly if they are identical, combine multiple data points in identifying each. Combine personality traits and even subtle visual clues to properly identify who is who. It is fascinating to watch the switcheroo happen. Just keep your eyes open and enjoy the journey. Twin dad Todd Courtney observed that his identical twin boys would “flip back and forth” in terms of being empowered or following, with “role reversals that happened throughout their childhood” Jonathan Snowden, father of twin girls, noted that his daughters, Elizabeth and Lucy, do not “stick to, like, one characteristic or act a certain way” but “interchange with each other”. He explained that one day Elizabeth might be the loud and active one, and the next day Lucy would take on that role, as “they just interchange with each other with their personalities.” Andy Slinger, a father of identical twin boys, observed that his twins’ personalities would switch over time. He noted that as his boys grew up, they “jumped between different personality types”, with one sometimes being the leader and then the other taking on that role. What Does the Science Say About Twin Personalities? Personality is about 50% heritable. Extensive twin studies have consistently found that roughly half of the variance in personality traits is attributable to genetics. This is based on comparing identical twins (who share 100% of their genes) to fraternal twins (who share about 50% of their genes). Identical twins are consistently more similar in personality, even when raised apart, which provides strong evidence for the role of genetics. The remaining half of personality variance is attributed to “non-shared environment.” This refers to unique experiences that one twin has that their twin does not. These are not shared family events, but individual experiences like different friendships, teachers, illnesses, or even a different reaction to the same shared family environment. This is the key factor that causes even identical twins to have distinct personalities. The post Twins Personalities Switch appeared first on Dad's Guide to Twins.

Having two newborns simultaneously can feel overwhelming, but establishing a predictable schedule is your secret weapon for maintaining sanity and helping your twin babies thrive. Think of your twins as having a completely blank calendar when they arrive and it’s up to you to fill it with the structure they need for healthy development. Creating and sticking to a consistent schedule for sleep, feeding, and play will not only benefit your twins’ development but also give you and your partner precious opportunities to rest, recharge, and tackle household tasks. The effort you invest in establishing these routines now will pay huge dividends as your twins grow. We tried to keep our twin girls on the same schedule as much as possible. We found that helped create a more predictable routine in our home. Here are some things to consider when managing your newborn twins’ schedule: Choosing the Right Twin Newborn Schedule for Your Family Consider Your Support System The type of schedule that works best for your twins depends largely on your family’s unique situation: If you have helpers (partner, family, or hired help): Synchronized schedule works best: have both twins eat, sleep, and play at the same times This allows adults to rest together during sleep periods Enables tag-team parenting during awake times Makes household management more efficient If you’re flying solo during certain hours and synchronized doesn’t work: Staggered schedule might be your lifesaver, offset twins’ schedules by 1-2 hours Prevents the chaos of two hungry, crying babies simultaneously Allows you to give individual attention to each baby Gives you brief breaks between feeding and care sessions Tim Murray, father of identical twin girls who were six weeks old when he shared his story on the Dad’s Guide to Twins Podcast, explained their feeding strategy. During the day when both parents were present, they found it easiest to feed the twins at the same time, with one parent taking each baby. At night, they intentionally staggered their feedings to manage the workload and prevent both babies from being “apoplectic”. He also mentioned trying to keep their daughter at home on a three-hour feeding schedule (12, 3, 6, and 9) similar to the twin that was still in the NICU. Example Twin Newborn Daily Schedule It’s important to understand that your newborn twins’ schedule is not a strict, by-the-clock routine. In the first few weeks and months of life, your twins’ day is primarily dictated by their basic needs: eating, sleeping, and a little bit of “awake time” for interaction and diaper changes. Their sleep-wake cycle isn’t fully developed yet, so they won’t distinguish between day and night right away. The following is not a strict schedule, but a general example of a 24-hour pattern you can expect with newborns, based on the principle of “eat, activity, sleep.” This is a helpful framework to follow, but be prepared for flexibility and to respond to your twins’ cues. Morning: 7:00 AM: Wake up and feed. 7:30 AM – 8:30 AM: “Play” time (or, more accurately, quiet awake time). This can include a diaper change, a little tummy time, cuddling, or simply talking to your baby. 8:30 AM: Sleep. Midday: 10:30 AM: Wake up and feed. 11:00 AM – 12:00 PM: Awake time, including a diaper change and gentle interaction. 12:00 PM: Sleep. Afternoon: 2:00 PM: Wake up and feed. 2:30 PM – 3:30 PM: Awake time, diaper change, and more interaction. 3:30 PM: Sleep. Evening (Cluster Feeding & Winding Down): 5:30 PM: Wake up and feed. 6:00 PM – 7:00 PM: Awake time. This might be a good time for a warm bath, baby massage, or quiet cuddle time to prepare for the night. 7:00 PM: Sleep. 9:00 PM: Wake up and feed (often a “cluster feed” where they feed more frequently). 9:30 PM – 10:00 PM: Diaper change and a final check-in. 10:00 PM: Bedtime. Overnight: 1:00 AM: Wake up and feed. 1:30 AM: Diaper change, if needed. Keep lights low and interaction minimal to teach the difference between day and night. 1:45 AM: Back to sleep. 4:00 AM: Wake up and feed. 4:30 AM: Diaper change, minimal interaction. 4:45 AM: Back to sleep. The Art of Consistency and Flexibility Staying Consistent Once you’ve chosen your approach, commitment is key. This means: If both twins are on synchronized feeding schedules but only one wakes up hungry, you’ll need to gently wake the other twin for feeding Following through even when you’re tired (and you will be tired) Trusting the process: your twins will eventually adapt to your lead When to Be Flexible Remember, you’re working with tiny humans, not robots. Be prepared to adjust when: Your twins show signs they’re ready for longer stretches between feedings Growth spurts temporarily disrupt established patterns Sleep needs change as they develop (this will happen frequently in the first year) One twin consistently struggles with the current schedule Kyle Mongold, father of two sets of twins, provided a detailed schedule for his four-week-old boy/girl twins. He stated, “The babies are eating every three hours. I think we’re on the midnight, 3:00, 6:00, 9:00 feeding schedule.” He described getting up at 6:00 AM to feed, then showering, and spending time with his older boys before work. He would return home at noon to feed a baby, then again at 6:00 PM. The older boys would go to bed around 7:00-7:30 PM, and he would feed the babies again at 9:00 PM and midnight. What to Expect: The Reality Check The First Year Timeline Weeks 0-12: Expect chaos with frequent feedings every 2-3 hours around the clock Months 3-6: Gradual establishment of more predictable patterns Months 6-12: Longer sleep stretches and more structured daytime routines Twin-Specific Challenges Double the night wakings: Even with good schedules, expect interrupted sleep Feeding logistics: Whether bottle or breastfeeding, feeding two babies requires planning Individual differences: Your twins may have different temperaments and needs despite being born together Chris Titus, father of boy/girl twins, mentioned that his eleven weeks old twins’ sleep was not as consistent as he would have liked, but was improving. He noted they were entering a phase beyond just “sleep, eat, go to the bathroom”. For daytime feedings, he and his wife fed them at the same time, with one parent taking each twin. At night, they would stagger their feedings to avoid having both babies crying simultaneously. Tips for Newborn Schedule Success Getting Started Start early: Begin establishing routines in the first few weeks Track patterns: Use apps or simple logs to identify natural rhythms Communicate with your partner: Make sure you’re both following the same plan Be patient: It takes 4-6 weeks for routines to really take hold Making It Work Prepare supplies in advance: Have bottles, diapers, and burp cloths staged and ready Create a calm environment: Dim lights for nighttime feedings, bright lights for daytime Stay flexible during growth spurts: Temporary disruptions are normal and expected Newborn Twins Schedules and You Yes, having newborn twins is hectic! It is probably more intense than anything you’ve experienced before. The first year will test your limits, but remember that establishing good schedules early is an investment in your family’s future happiness and well-being. You don’t need to be perfect, and you don’t need to follow anyone else’s exact formula. Pay attention to your twins’ cues, trust your instincts, and adjust as needed. With some planning, consistency, and a healthy dose of patience, you’ll develop a rhythm that works for your unique family. Remember: every twin dad has felt overwhelmed at the beginning. You’re not alone in this, and it does get easier as you and your babies find your groove together. Picture by Len Currie The post Newborn Twins Schedule: Setting Up Your Babies for Success appeared first on Dad's Guide to Twins.

Taking care of one child is already going to require a lot of sacrifice on your end, but having twins is automatically going to double your efforts and your financial needs. You can save a lot of money if you know where to shop and what you can get for free (or at least with a discount). There are actually a lot of stores out there that offer discounts and a lot of free stuff for twins if you follow their shopping promos and keep an eye on store offers. While many programs aren’t specifically for twins, every little bit helps. See which of the following could help find free stuff for twins: Brands & Programs Offering Samples or Rewards These programs let you try products for free: Enfamil Free Products There is also the option to become a member of Family Beginners in Enfamil. Enfamil offers free baby products if you sign up for them right after your babies are born (you can inquire about it from your doctor) or you could give them a call to sign up for their membership network. This not only guarantees free stuff for twins but also lets you receive coupons that you can later use for discounted shopping. Beech Nut Product Coupons for Twins Call Beech Nut to get a special packet of discounts and some free samples for your twins. Call 1-800-233-2468 to make your request. Gerber Baby Food Discounts As a parent of twins, Gerber will give you coupons for discounts on their different lines of food products. Call 1-800-443-7237 to request a packet for parents of twins. Pampers Club Earn points from purchases which are redeemable for diaper samples, gifts, toys, coupons. Similac Provides formula samples and a free Shutterfly baby book among other perks. Retailers With Free Baby Registry Boxes Many major retailers offer welcome kits or boxes full of baby essentials when you create a registry. While most require minimum spending or shipping, they can still offer great value (especially with twins). Retailers tend to only let you get one welcome box even if you’re having twins. So you get get more volume by trying multiple of these offers: Amazon Baby Registry Welcome Box Get a free welcome box (swaddle, bottles, diapers, wipes, coupons) by creating a registry, adding 10 items, and having at least $10 purchased. Available to Amazon Prime members. Target Baby Registry Welcome Kit Register with Target and add 10+ items, then spend $10+ (you or someone from your registry) to unlock a welcome kit full of samples, bottles, diapers, lotions, and coupons. It’s valued at over $100. Walmart Baby Registry Welcome Box Create a baby registry and request the free Baby Box. Ensure your registry has been active for seven days. Add a minimum of 20 items to your registry. Have over $25 of purchases from your registry, either by you or others. Contains sample products like Pampers, wipes, pacifiers, etc. Availability may vary. Babylist Hello Baby Box Requires adding 3 Babylist store items and 3 from other stores to your registry. Then spend (or a gift giver spends) $30, plus a shipping fee (around $9). Includes a great mix of items like bottles, diapers, swaddles. Macy’s Baby Registry Gift Box Register with Macy’s and purchase $50+ of items; pay a small shipping fee ($6.50). Box includes baby clothes, diapers, pacifiers, and more. Nonprofits & Local Support Resources Facebook Buy Nothing Groups/Nextdoor: Seek out local groups where neighbors give away baby items like toys and clothing. These community-based groups are excellent for finding free, secondhand baby gear from people in your area. Hospitals and Pediatricians: Many provide free samples of diapers, formula, and skincare products upon request. You’ll be at the doctor a lot during the pregnancy and with newborns so don’t forget to ask for samples! Many local organizations and mutual aid networks offer diapers, formula, and gear for low-income families. If you need help beyond retailer samples and registries, look for your local food pantries, United Way or the National Diaper Network. You may receive formula, diapers, or other essentials through WIC or hospital programs. Where to Start For variety and convenience: Start with Amazon, Target, or Babylist registry boxes. Looking for formula or breastfeeding supplies: Try Enfamil, Similac, or Gerber. Want diapers: Use rewards programs like Pampers. Want more tips on saving money with twins? I talk more about this in Chapter Eight of my book, the Dad’s Guide to Raising Twins: How to Thrive as a Father of Twins. Picture by Manda. The post Free Stuff for Twins (Plus Discounts for Twins) appeared first on Dad's Guide to Twins.

Once you find out that you are expecting twins, your mind races with tons of concerns and questions. Whether you’ve had children already or not, a twin pregnancy brings new unknowns that frankly can be overwhelming. It’s time to talk with your doctor. Talking to Your Doctor You’ll want to find a good doctor that you can trust and with whom you can have a comfortable relationship. You need to feel comfortable asking any questions and asking follow-ups if you still have concerns. But what should you ask when you go to the doctor? Example Questions to Ask Your Doctor Twin Pregnancy What can I expect during my pregnancy with twins? How will this pregnancy be different from a singleton pregnancy? When should we expect to feel movement with our twins? What are the risks associated with a twin pregnancy, and how can I manage them? Are my doctor visits based on my actual due date or my realistic due date (measurements of both me and the babies)? Mom’s Health During Pregnancy How often will I need to see a doctor for prenatal care, and what tests will be performed? How much weight I am I expected to gain? Exactly what does that mean in terms of how much more I should be eating? How can I make sure I’m getting enough nutrients and calories to support two babies? How much water should I drink each day? Can I exercise? What kinds are approved for moms of “high risk” pregnancies? What are the chances I’ll have to go on bed rest? What is cervical length screening and when will you check mine? Twins’ Health in Womb What are the possible complications with twins and when should I worry? Are my twins identical or fraternal, and how does this affect my care plan? Do my twins share a placenta (monochorionic) or have separate placentas (dichorionic)? How will you monitor for twin-to-twin transfusion syndrome (TTTS) if my twins share a placenta? How often will you measure each baby’s growth individually? What happens if one twin is significantly smaller than the other? How will you monitor for cord entanglement or compression? Medication & Medical History: Are any of my current medications unsafe for twin pregnancy? How does my medical history (previous pregnancies, chronic conditions, family history) specifically impact twin pregnancy risks? What over-the-counter medications should I avoid? Genetic/Screening Questions: Should we consider additional genetic testing given that we’re having twins? How accurate are standard screening tests (like cell-free DNA testing) for twin pregnancies? If one twin has a genetic condition, what are our options? Work/Lifestyle Planning: At what point in pregnancy should I plan to stop working or reduce hours? What accommodations might I need at work during pregnancy? When should we consider modifying daily activities or household responsibilities? Specialized Care: Will I need to see a maternal-fetal medicine specialist (perinatologist), and if so, when? Should I work with a nutritionist or dietitian during my pregnancy? What additional specialists might I need during this pregnancy? Emergency Preparedness: What’s your protocol if I go into labor when you’re not available? Which emergency room should I go to if I have concerns outside office hours? Should I have a backup birth plan if complications arise? Delivery Planning: Will my delivery be based on my actual due date or realistic twin pregnancy due date? What is your policy on delivery timing for twins (at what week do you typically recommend delivery)? If I’m planning a vaginal delivery, what happens if the first baby is born vaginally but the second needs a C-section? What type of anesthesia options are available during twin delivery? How many medical staff will be present during delivery, and what are their roles? What is your experience delivering twins vaginally? What are the chances that I will need a cesarean delivery, and what are the risks and benefits of this procedure? How can I prepare for the birth of my twins, and what can I expect during labor and delivery? What is your experience delivering twins via C-section? At how many weeks will you schedule a c-section? Do you have rights to deliver at my hospital? Does my hospital have at least a Level II NICU? How flexible can my birth plan be given the unpredictability of twin delivery? What decisions might need to be made quickly during delivery that I should think about now? What happens if one or both babies are breech? Practical Considerations: What are the signs of pre-term labor I should be looking for? What do I do if I experience them? What symptoms warrant an immediate call or trip to the hospital? Should I take any additional supplements beyond standard prenatal vitamins? Are there any specific warning signs unique to twin pregnancies I should know about? What are your policies about travel during twin pregnancy? How will you coordinate care if I need to be hospitalized before delivery? What should I pack differently in my hospital bag for a twin delivery? Postpartum: How long should I expect to stay in the hospital after delivery, assuming no complications? What are the common complications that can arise after the birth of twins, and how can they be treated? What support resources do you recommend for new parents of twins? How will breastfeeding twins be different, and what support is available? What should I expect for my recovery compared to a singleton birth? What does pediatric care look like immediately after birth for twins? How soon after birth will I be able to hold both babies? When will the babies’ first pediatrician appointment be scheduled? What are the signs of postpartum depression/anxiety, especially with twins? NICU Considerations: What’s the likelihood my babies will need NICU care, and for how long? Can you arrange a NICU tour before delivery? What should I know about NICU policies for parents (visiting, feeding, etc.)? Partner/Family Support: What role should my partner play during appointments and delivery? How can my partner best support me during this high-risk pregnancy? What should family members know about helping during pregnancy and after birth? Long-term Health: Will having twins affect my future pregnancies? What health risks should I monitor for myself long-term after a twin pregnancy? Insurance/Financial: What additional costs should we expect with twin pregnancy care? Does insurance cover all the extra monitoring and potential NICU stays? Make Your List of Questions Take some time to review the list of questions above and note those that are important to you. Also brainstorm with your spouse or partner the additional questions that you have. Write them down and take the list with you to your next doctor’s visit. This way you won’t forget in the moment what you wanted to ask. Once you make your list, double check it to make sure you’ve got what you need. I talk more health care concerns of the twin pregnancy in Chapter Two of my book, the Dad’s Guide to Twins: How to Survive the Twin Pregnancy and Prepare for Your Twins. What other questions do you think expectant parents of twins should ask the doctor during the twin pregnancy? Leave a comment and let us know. The post Questions to Ask Your Doctor When Expecting Twins appeared first on Dad's Guide to Twins.

Episode 327 of the Dad’s Guide to Twins Podcast Show Notes Today we continue our father of twins interview series with Stephen Dause, father of twin girls. Listen as we explore his twin parenting journey, including: Finding out they’d have twins just after 24 year old adopted son moved out Concerns and anxiety about sleep and wife’s health Going to the hospital twice during pregnancy Choosing a MFM specialist over traditional OB TAPS and TTTS monitoring At 34 weeks, gestational hypertension sent Mom to hospital C-section delivery Emergency hysterectomy to stop bleeding after birth Dad’s emotions dealing with traumatic birth experience Power outage when they got home from hospital Taking time off work to take care of babies and his wife Child care plans – finding a daycare Daily schedule for 4.5 month olds and more… Connect with Stephen via his twin dad posts on Reddit here. Podcast Transcript This is transcript auto-generated so please forgive any mistakes. Joe Rawlinson (Host): Yes, your twin pregnancy and delivery may have some crazy surprises. Today on the podcast we’re talking with a twin dad who shares his experience of how their delivery did not quite go according to plan. Now there was a huge surprise after their twin girls were born in the operating room, how they overcame that challenge and more today on the podcast. Welcome to the dad’s guide to twins podcast, the podcast that’ll help you survive and thrive as a father of twins. Now, here’s your host, the author of the book, the dad’s guide to twins, Joe Rawlinson. Hey everybody. Welcome to the podcast. This is Joe Rawlinson. I’m glad that you’re with me today. As always, you can find me on the web at dadsguidetowins.com where you’ll find all previous podcast episodes and tons of resources to help you along your twin parenting journey. Today’s episode is brought to you by my second book for dads of twins. It is called Dad’s Guide to Raising Twins, How to Thrive as a Father of Twins. This book will guide you through those first several years with your twins to help you overcome the common challenges that you’ll be facing. You can get a copy of this book for yourself at RaisingTwinsBook.com. Today we are continuing our Father of Twins interview series with the Father of Twin Girls who are happy and healthy now, but there were some hiccups and some surprises that were a little bit scary in the pregnancy and during delivery that we’re going to talk about today on the episode. Today I’d like to welcome to the show Father of Twins, Stephen Dause. Welcome to the show, Stephen. Stephen Dause (Guest): Thank you. Current Age and Twin Interactions Joe Rawlinson: Stephen, how old are your twins right now? And what’s something exciting about this age? Stephen Dause: They are four and a half months. Something exciting about this age that just happened, started happening maybe a couple weeks ago was I noticed they started talking and babbling and cooing to each other just with, and sometimes when they’re both lying down, they’ll look at each other and start talking, especially if we hold them to each other’s face and they just smile and laugh. It’s really something special because that’s something that parents of multiples get to experience, I guess, that singletons don’t exactly in the same way. So it’s pretty neat. Joe Rawlinson: Yeah, that’s one of the joys we have as dads of twins. We can watch that happen between our twins. Let’s rewind a little bit back in time to when you found out that you’d be having twins? What was your family situation like at that time? Family Situation When Finding Out About Twins Stephen Dause: Well, so when we found out, we had recently helped our 24-year-old adopted son move out. He was 16 when we adopted him eight years ago, and we slowly helped him mature and become independent, and we had just sort of become empty-nesters, so to speak. And then we found out we were pregnant, and started the process of welcoming, or so we thought, at least one biological kid into the family. Joe Rawlinson: Yeah, that’s quite a transition there between an adult and having babies right on the heels of that. What was the experience like from your perspective with the twin pregnancy? How did that progress? Twin Pregnancy Experience Stephen Dause: It was pretty challenging. My first reaction was just anxiety over not being able to get enough sleep, especially because I have some health conditions that already make that difficult for me. And then it quickly turned into anxiety over making sure my wife was healthy and that the twins were healthy and growing properly. She was quite nauseous, especially early on, but throughout the pregnancy, we had to take her to the hospital twice and I guess around week 14 or 15. Thankfully, all she needed was fluids, but she just couldn’t keep anything down, so they were able to give her an IV. As we move further along, we started ultrasounds to monitor for TTTS, twin to twin transfusion syndrome as well as TAPS. A lot of monitoring things got very hard for her very quickly. I started taking over various things that she couldn’t do anymore or was very difficult for her to do. She also has a kidney disease which made her pregnancy high risk to start in addition to the high risk of the twin pregnancy itself. So we had a lot to watch out for, but thankfully her kidneys performed just fine throughout the pregnancy. But it was definitely, we were on pins and needles kind of throughout, just waiting for something to break bad. Joe Rawlinson: Yeah. So for listeners, TAPS is twin anemia polycythemia sequence, which is a mouthful. That’s just why they use the acronym for that. So how did TAPS and TTTS, twin to twin transfusion syndrome even come up on your radar during the pregnancy? Medical Care and Monitoring Stephen Dause: We planned to continue seeing our normal obstetrician, but I did decide to consult with an MFM at around 18 weeks, Maternal Fetal Medicine Specialist, and they thought it was fine to continue seeing our OB, but they did definitely recommend, they monitor for TTTS, which our OB knew about, but our OB didn’t know about TAPS. They were happy to try to monitor for it, but the ultrasound technicians actually weren’t really qualified to do it at the normal OB place. So we ended up transferring care eventually entirely to the MFM. And yeah, we at one time or another, they saw some potentially suspicious readings, then they would take a reading the next week and it would be fine. So neither of those actually became… The girls didn’t get diagnosed with either of those, but we were definitely watching for it closely. Joe Rawlinson: So were you with the MFM all the way up to delivery? Stephen Dause: Yes. Joe Rawlinson: Even when it came to delivery, that same doctor was there? Stephen Dause: It wasn’t one particular doctor. There was actually about seven of them at the hospital where we were and we would see, sometimes it would be the same doctor, but we didn’t really know who we were going to see. As it happened, our favorite one of them was on rotation at the hospital, which is separate from the clinic the week that we ended up delivering so that was great. We have a great relationship with her. But I guess that was the primary downside actually of seeing the MFM clinic is that it was a lot of different doctors. It could be a little bit of challenging because you never know who’s actually going to be there when the babies are ready to be born. Joe Rawlinson: I guess if you were able to meet with all of them in one form or another, then at least you were familiar with them at the time. Well, so despite the extra monitoring and some of the extra stress week to week, it seemed like the pregnancy did go pretty smoothly leading up to delivery. Stephen Dause: Yes. The only thing was around 34 weeks, she developed pre-gestational hypertension, which then led to delivery at 35 weeks. Delivery Decision Joe Rawlinson: Tell us a little bit about that. How did that? That just came up on a weekly visit test and then what? Stephen Dause: Yeah. It was a little funny. The last ultrasound we did, they said, “Well, it took them a long time to find the girls’ middle cerebral arteries.” Two of the MFM specialists were in there, both operating the ultrasound machine. And then they said, “Okay, your girls look fine, but your blood pressure is really high. We want you to go to the hospital right now.” And that was Friday, and my wife ended up staying there until delivery on Tuesday. Her symptoms were not too bad. She developed a headache, some lightheadedness, but it was slowly getting worse. They basically told us, “We want to stop this before it gets any worse, and you go off a cliff and really start to feel bad and develop actual preeclampsia or even worse, eclampsia, and it’s not going to help that much for the babies to last another day or two, and you’re not going to make it to another week. We’re going to deliver you ASAP, basically.” Joe Rawlinson: How did you take that news? Stephen Dause: We were at 34 weeks when she went to the hospital, so we were prepared as well as we could be. And we talked to the doctors Friday, and then there were some doctors that visited us over the weekend. So it was a slow transition to realizing, “Oh, okay, this could happen soon. Oh, this is really likely. Okay, that’s going to happen.” And at that point, since we were already in the hospital, we knew she wasn’t going to leave before the babies were delivered and we trusted them enough to say, “Okay, it’s time to deliver. Let’s go.” The Delivery Experience Joe Rawlinson: So when it came time for the delivery, tell us about that experience. Was it going into it? Was it what you were hoping for or planning for, or did you have some surprises? Stephen Dause: Up until delivery was pretty normal. They, of course, got my wife prepped and took her back there and eventually called me back to watch the delivery itself. And I sat back there and couldn’t

Hey Dads, it’s completely normal to need support during the twin pregnancy. Yes, support for you. During a twin pregnancy, the physical and emotional spotlight is naturally on your partner, but your role, your mental health, and your emotional well-being matter deeply. Here are some ideas on how to maintain your mental and emotional footing during this intense time: Acknowledge Your Experience Your feelings are valid, including excitement, anxiety, and being overwhelmed. These are all normal responses to impending parenthood, especially with twins. You’re going through a major life transition too. Your identity and responsibilities are changing significantly. Doubt doesn’t mean you’re unfit to be a twin dad. It means you care. Good dads worry; great dads learn to manage that worry instead of letting it run the show. Find Support Systems Connect with other twin dads who have been through what you are experiencing. Look for local twin parent groups or online forums specifically for fathers of multiples. Maintain friendships by scheduling regular time with friends who can provide perspective and emotional support. Consider therapy if you feel you need an extra hand. A few sessions with a therapist can provide valuable coping strategies for this unique stress you’re experiencing. Communicate Openly Share your feelings with your partner. Try saying “I’m excited about the twins but also feeling [fill in the blank with your emotions like being nervous or overwhelmed]” Be specific about your needs when talking with your partner. For example, “I could use some time to process” is better than bottling up emotions. Remember your partner isn’t a mind reader. They may not realize what you’re experiencing unless you share. Open, frank, and honest communication with your partner will help the twin parenting journey go a lot smoother. Practice Self-Care Maintain your physical health. During the twin pregnancy, you actually have more time than you will once the twins are born. Keep up with regular exercise, adequate sleep, and proper nutrition. These will directly impact your mental wellbeing. It’s easy to lose yourself in pregnancy prep. Try to keep at least one regular activity that grounds you. Continue hobbies while you can. Keep participating in activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Keep in mind that some of these might need a pause once the twins arrive. Set boundaries since it’s okay to decline additional responsibilities when feeling overwhelmed. Prepare Practically Educate yourself about twin development and care as that can reduce anxiety. Research is helpful but obsessively reading about premature birth risks, twin complications, or sleep deprivation stories can send your anxiety into overdrive. Stick to trusted sources, and give yourself permission to unplug. Get involved in twin preparations. Setting up the nursery or researching gear gives you purpose and something within your control. Creating a registry, budgeting, reading parenting books will help. But leave space for flexibility, mistakes, and unknowns. Twins bring chaos. You’ll adapt. You don’t have to be 100% “ready”. Learn practical baby care skills. This will give you confidence in your abilities and will reduce anxiety about the future. Remember You’re a Team You’re not just a supporting character. You’re an equal parent preparing for a life-changing experience. Taking care of your mental health now sets the foundation for being the father your twins will need to be. Listen to twin dad Steven Driver’s experience of overcoming a traumatic birth experience of his twins. The post Maintaining Dad’s Mental Health During a Twin Pregnancy appeared first on Dad's Guide to Twins.

When I found out we were having twins, one of my first thoughts after the initial shock wore off was: “Where are we going to put all their stuff?” Our modest three-bedroom home suddenly felt tiny. But after some creative planning and real-world experience, I discovered you don’t need two of everything or a mansion to raise happy, healthy twins. Here’s how to prepare your home without drowning in baby gear. Strategic Thinking Before Buying Place to Sleep Will you have the twins in your room or in their own room? When you bring them home from the hospital, you need a place for them to sleep. Where will that be in your house? Think through your plans for those first few nights at home – perhaps they will be in your room. Then think about long-term sleeping arrangements – likely in their own room. Place to Eat Think about where you’ll feed your infant twins. Will it be in a rocking chair? In the nursery, or the family room? You’ll need a comfortable place where you can sit and feed the twins. Make sure this will let you feed both at the same time. Place to Change Diapers Twin babies go through lots of diapers. Newborn twins can go through 20 diapers a day. You’ll need a place to change them. This could be a dedicated changing table or just on the floor. Yes, you could even use your bed – but remember that they might have an accident or leakage. Do you want that mess on your bed? Place for Baby Stuff You need a place to store your baby clothes, diapers, and supplies. A simple changing table or dedicated furniture will work. Baby Proofing You don’t have to baby proof your house before your twins come home. Baby proofing requires that you prevent trouble that could be within a baby’s reach. As newborns, your twins can’t reach anything and aren’t mobile. If you are short on time, you can wait to baby proof your home until later. The Twin Registry Audit Before you register for or purchase anything, ask these three questions: Do we absolutely need two of these? Will this item be outgrown within months? Does this serve multiple purposes or just one? I saved hundreds of dollars and valuable square footage by realizing we didn’t need two baby bathtubs, two high chairs, or two play mats. One large play mat worked perfectly for both babies. The Grow-With-Them Mindset Invest in items that adapt as your twins grow: Convertible cribs that transform into toddler beds Strollers with modular configurations for different ages Space-Maximizing Solutions By Room The Nursery Vertical Storage is Your Best Friend Wall space is often underutilized. Consider: Floor-to-ceiling shelving units Over-door organizers for small items Wall-mounted baskets for diapers and supplies For example, IKEA Kallax shelves and fabric bins color-coded by category—green for clothes, blue for blankets, yellow for toys. This system makes it easy to find what you need quickly. Just remember your baby-proofing for when the twins become mobile. Smarter Furniture Choices Choose cribs with built-in storage drawers underneath Use a dresser with a changing pad on top instead of a separate changing table Consider mini-cribs if space is extremely tight When you set up your twin nursery, see if you can position the cribs in an L-shape in the corner, which opens up floor space for playing while keeping the cribs accessible from three sides. The Living Room Create Zones Instead of Taking Over Rather than letting twin baby gear dominate your living space: Designate one corner for baby activities with a small toy basket Use furniture with hidden storage (ottomans, coffee tables with drawers) Invest in gear that folds away when not in use Multi-Purpose Solutions A pack-and-play can serve as a playpen or napping spot Ottoman storage can hold toys and serve as seating Sofa cushions can become safe play barriers during tummy time The Kitchen Streamlined Feeding Station Wall-mounted bottle organizers keep counters clear Hanging fruit baskets can store formula, baby food, and snacks Magnetic strips on the fridge can hold feeding schedules and notes Create a dedicated “twin feeding zone” in one corner of your kitchen with everything needed for bottle prep, which can save countless steps during those early sleep-deprived months. Clever High Chair Solutions Space-saving high chairs that clip to the table Chairs that fold flat when not in use Booster seats that attach to regular dining chairs We opted for booster seats rather than standalone units with large footprints. The Bathroom Bathing Without the Bulk Sink inserts for newborn bathing save space over baby tubs Shower caddies repurposed for baby bath supplies Tension rods with hanging mesh bags for toy storage Smart Organization Behind-the-door towel racks with towels for each baby Adhesive hooks for washcloths Magnetic containers on the side of a metal cabinet for small items Clever Twin-Specific Hacks The Rolling Command Center I’ve even heard of making a rolling cart with three tiers: Top tier: Diaper changing supplies Middle tier: Extra clothes, burp cloths Bottom tier: Toys and books This cart can be moved from room to room, ensuring supplies were always at hand without cluttering every space. The Shared Closet System For the twins’ clothes: Double hang rods to maximize vertical space Drawer dividers to separate each baby’s items The Gear Rotation Method Not all baby equipment needs to be out at once: Store off-season items in under-bed containers Rotate toys weekly to keep floor space clear Borrow or rent items needed for short developmental periods We borrowed a hospital grade breast pump until formula bottle feeding became our primary method, saving both money and storage space. Final Thoughts for the Space-Conscious Twin Dad Remember that babies need much less than marketing would have you believe. Your twins won’t care if their nursery isn’t Instagram perfect. They just need you, safety, comfort, and love. The key is creating systems that work for your family’s specific needs and home layout. Stay flexible and don’t be afraid to rearrange as you discover what works best. The post How to Prep Your Home for Twins Without Cluttering Everything appeared first on Dad's Guide to Twins.

Fathers expecting twins often have specific concerns that tend to be exaggerated or misguided. You just don’t know what you’re getting yourself into and that leads to some irrational fears. I know, I’ve been there. Here are some of the most common fears that you don’t need to stress out about: “I’ll never be able to tell them apart” – This fear is usually overblown. Even identical twins have subtle differences that parents quickly learn to recognize. Plus, many parents use temporary identification methods like different colored clothing or nail polish until they become familiar with each child’s unique features. “We’ll need two of absolutely everything” – While you’ll need some duplicates, twins can share many items. They can use the same changing table, bath, play area, and many toys. Even for sleeping, twins often share a crib initially before transitioning to separate ones. “Bonding with two babies simultaneously will be impossible” – Fathers often worry they won’t be able to form strong individual bonds with each twin. In reality, relationships develop naturally over time through everyday interactions, and most fathers find they connect differently but equally with each child. “Our finances will be completely devastated” – While twins do increase expenses, careful planning and accepting hand-me-downs can significantly reduce costs. Many twin-specific expenses are temporary, and the long-term financial impact is often less severe than initially feared. “There won’t be any time for my relationship with my partner” – Though the early months are challenging, many twin parents develop efficient teamwork that eventually allows for couple time. The shared experience often strengthens relationships rather than destroying them. “I’ll never sleep again” – Sleep deprivation is real with twins, but it’s temporary. Most twins establish sleep patterns by 4-6 months, and tag-team approaches with partners can ensure everyone gets some rest. “I won’t be able to handle the crying times two” – Fathers often imagine constant dual meltdowns, but in reality, twins don’t always cry simultaneously, and parents quickly develop coping strategies for when they do. “I’ll never be able to give them enough individual attention” – While one-on-one time requires intentionality with twins, many fathers find special moments with each child through everyday routines like feeding, bathing, or bedtime. “I’m worried about how to handle both babies at the same time” – You won’t break them if you’re mindful of what you’re doing. Practice with holding one twin before you try to hold both simultaneously. Raising twins can be challenging but it is totally worth it. If you’re worried about some of these issues, hang in there. You can do this! The post Common Overblown Fears of Expectant Twin Fathers appeared first on Dad's Guide to Twins.

As a father of twins who’s done countless grocery runs, I’m going to share what actually works when you need to brave the supermarket alone with your infant twins. This isn’t theoretical advice—these are battle-tested strategies that have saved my sanity during that challenging first year (and beyond) with twins. The Easy Button Are you overwhelmed by the stress of hauling the twins to the store? Hit the easy button and get your groceries delivered or do a curbside pickup run. Many large grocery chains offer curbside pickup or you can use your favorite delivery app to get stuff delivered directly to your doorstep. There is no shame in letting others do the work for you. Just keep in mind that you will pay slightly higher prices for groceries purchased with these more convenient methods. That said, if you’re ready to get out of the house and do a grocery store adventure with the twins, you can do this. Let’s go: Before You Leave the House 1. Time Your Trip Strategically Shop during your twins’ most content period—typically after a feeding and nap. This reduces several of the problems that can happen when you’re out. Try shopping during early mornings (7-9 AM) as they tend to be less crowded with shorter checkout lines. Always avoid the dinner rush (4-6 PM) at all costs as the grocery store is a zoo and crazy busy. 2. Pack Your Twin Diaper Bag Properly A trip to the grocery store still needs the basics you’d take whenever you leave the house with the twins: Two complete changes of clothes Double the diapers you think you’ll need Pre-measured formula or expressed milk if bottle feeding Pacifiers with clips (your twins will drop them otherwise) Extra burp cloths for inevitable spit-ups A small toy for each child to distract during meltdowns 3. Have a Solid Plan You can’t just expect to leisurely stroll down the aisles and look at all the options. You need to be prepared. Create a detailed shopping list organized by store layout so you know the route you’ll be taking. Use a grocery app that remembers your regular items and can show you where they are located. Keep the trip focused—this isn’t the time for browsing. Get in and get out! Transportation and Setup Options Once you’re at the store, you’ll need to figure out how to transport your twins AND the groceries. Here are some options: Option 1: The Twin Stroller + Basket Method Use a double stroller with large storage underneath Bring a collapsible grocery basket or reusable bags Fill the basket as you shop, storing it under or hanging from the stroller Best for smaller shopping trips (15-20 items) Option 2: The Car Seat in Cart Configuration Keep twins in their infant car seats Place one car seat in the main cart basket (secure it) Then for the second child pick what works best: Place the second car seat in the cart’s child seat area if possible Use a cart designed for two car seats (available at some stores) Bring a second cart if the store allows it Always make sure your car seats are secure and won’t fall off the cart. Option 3: The Babywearing + Cart Combo Wear one twin in a front carrier Keep the other in a car seat placed in the cart Alternate which twin you wear each trip Best for maximum shopping capacity while managing twins solo as you have more cart space During the Shopping Experience 1. The Entry Strategy Park close to cart return areas, not necessarily the entrance since you’ll know you have to return the cart. Set up your transport system at the car before taking babies out of the car. Have your shopping list immediately accessible on paper or your phone. 2. Managing the Shopping Process Shop efficiently—this isn’t the time for comparison shopping. Use one hand for pushing/steering the cart and keep the other free for grabbing items off shelves. Place heavy items under the cart, not with the babies. 3. Dealing with Twin Meltdowns When one starts crying, keep moving—motion helps. Sing or talk to them constantly, even if you feel ridiculous. If both melt down simultaneously, find a quiet corner to address needs before continuing. Ignore the judgmental glances from others. Focus on taking care of your kids. 4. Checkout Success Tactics Choose self-checkout for small trips and a quicker exit. For staffed lanes, look for cashiers who make eye contact and smile at babies. You have an ally here. Have payment ready so you can quickly finish up the transaction. After Checkout 1. Getting to the Car Ask for help to your vehicle if available (many stores offer this). Let the grocery store employee help load up your vehicle while you tend to the babies. If you’re still solo, put the babies back in the car first and secure them. Turn on the air conditioning. Then load up the groceries. Return the cart to a return area close to your car, never leaving babies unattended. 2. The Home Arrival System Once you’re home, take the babies inside first, placing them in safe spots (swings, bouncers, etc.). Bring groceries in next, focusing on refrigerated items Unpack essentials immediately, leave the rest until babies are settled. Final Dad-to-Dad Advice Remember that each successful trip builds your confidence. What seems impossible now will become routine within months. Start with smaller trips and work your way up. The greatest victory isn’t perfectly executing your shopping trip—it’s having the courage to try it alone. Other shoppers are generally understanding when they see a dad with twins. Don’t hesitate to accept help when offered, and remember that a few difficult moments in the grocery store don’t define your parenting. You’ve got this, Dad! The post Successfully Grocery Shopping Alone with Infant Twins appeared first on Dad's Guide to Twins.

As a father of twins, you’ve probably heard it all: “Shouldn’t they be walking by now?” or “My son was talking in full sentences at this age!” These well-meaning comments from friends and family comparing your twins to singleton milestones can be frustrating and sometimes even worrying. Let me share some perspective and practical advice on how to handle these situations with confidence. Our twin girls had two notable developmental milestones that caused many people to comment. First, our girls never crawled in the traditional sense – on their hands and knees. One of them figured out how to scoot across the floor while sitting by extending her legs out and then pulling herself forward. We called this the “bum scoot” and once one girl started, her sister mimicked that behavior and they never looked back. They went straight from their “bum scoot” to standing and walking. Second, our girls had some speech issues until they were early elementary school age. My wife and I could understand our girls. The girls could understand each other. However, other people, including close family and friends struggled to understand what our girls were saying. This feedback ultimately led us to take our girls to speech therapy where they quickly improved their speech skills and have been good communicators ever since. Understanding Twin Development is Different Twins often follow their own developmental timeline, and for good reason. Multiple factors influence their development patterns: Prematurity: Twins are more likely to be born early, which means their developmental timeline should be adjusted for their corrected age. Shared Resources: During pregnancy, twins share nutrients and space, which can impact early development. Social Dynamic: Having a constant peer creates a unique environment where twins may prioritize different skills than singletons. Individual Personalities: Just like any siblings, each twin has their own strengths, interests, and pace of development. Practical Ways to Handle Comparisons Educate with Confidence When Uncle Bob mentions how his grandson was walking at 10 months, try responding with: “Twin development is actually fascinating – they often focus on different skills first. Lucas is becoming quite the climber while Emma is working on her vocabulary. Their pediatrician is happy with their progress on their twin-adjusted timeline.” Keep some facts handy about twin development to share when these conversations arise. Knowledge is empowering and helps redirect well-intentioned but misguided concerns. Focus on Individual Strengths Instead of getting defensive, highlight what each of your twins is excelling at: “While they might not be walking yet, have you noticed how Ben can stack blocks with amazing precision? And Sarah’s ability to communicate what she wants without words is impressive!” Create a Support Network of Twin Parents Connect with other twin parents who understand your reality. When my twins were missing some of the typical singleton milestones, it was the parents in my twins group who reassured me this was normal and temporary. Track Progress Your Own Way Rather than comparing to standard milestone charts, keep a journal of each twin’s individual journey. Note when they master new skills relative to their own previous abilities. This perspective shift can be remarkably freeing. When to Genuinely Consider Concerns While managing unwanted comparisons is important, sometimes concerns raised by others deserve attention: If both twins are significantly behind in multiple developmental areas If one twin is progressing much more slowly than the other in several domains If either twin loses skills they previously had In these cases, consult with your pediatrician. Early intervention, when needed, can make a significant difference. Celebrating the Twin Advantage Your twins are developing unique skills that singletons often don’t acquire as early: Advanced social negotiation: Twins learn to share, take turns, and resolve conflicts from day one. Empathy: Many twins show remarkable awareness of their co-twin’s emotions early on. Independence alongside interdependence: Twins often develop a healthy balance of self-reliance and cooperation. The Bottom Line Your twins aren’t behind—they’re just taking their own path. When well-meaning comparisons come your way, take a deep breath, share a bit of twin wisdom if you’re up for it, and remember that you have front-row seats to an amazing, unique developmental journey. Trust your instincts, celebrate each triumph on your twins’ timeline, and remember—those singleton milestones were never meant for the twin experience anyway. The post How to deal with family and friends that compare your twins to singletons appeared first on Dad's Guide to Twins.

As a father of twins who has weathered countless “double emergencies,” I’m here to tell you that yes, you will survive those moments when both babies need you desperately at the exact same time. Whether it’s one spitting up while the other has a diaper explosion, or both wailing for different urgent reasons, these situations are inevitable with twins. Here’s my battle-tested approach to handling these high-stress moments. First, Take a Deep Breath It sounds simple, but it’s crucial. When both twins are in crisis mode, your stress level skyrockets. Take a 3-second deep breath. This micro-pause helps you think more clearly and approach the situation with a calmer mindset. Remember: neither baby will suffer permanent damage if you take a moment to collect yourself. Assess and Prioritize Quickly assess which situation is more urgent: Is either baby in danger? (Choking, breathing issues, bleeding) Which situation will worsen more quickly if not addressed? Which baby is more distressed? For example, in the spit-up vs. diaper blowout scenario, the spit-up usually needs immediate attention if it’s affecting breathing, while the diaper situation, though messy, can wait an extra minute. Create a Safe Spot for the “Wait” Baby Keep designated safe spots in key areas of your home where you can place one baby while tending to the other: A secured swing A crib or playpen A bouncer seat with harness A safely positioned car seat (on the floor, never elevated) On a blanket on the floor Even if they’re crying, knowing they’re safe allows you to focus on the more urgent need. The Contain and Return Method Let’s imagine that you’ve got one twin spitting up and the other with a diaper blowout. Here’s what you could do: 1. Place the blowout baby on a waterproof changing pad in a safe area 2. Quickly wipe any spit-up from the first baby’s mouth/nose and position them to prevent choking 3. Return to the blowout baby to start the cleanup and change that diaper 4. Go back and forth as needed, dealing with the most critical aspects of each situation first Preparation Is Your Best Defense Having strategic supplies positioned throughout your home will save you countless times: Keep fully stocked changing stations in multiple rooms Place burp cloths and wipes in every room where you spend time with the twins Use waterproof mats under babies whenever possible Keep a “quick-change” bag with diapers, wipes, and a change of clothes in your main living area Use What You Have In true emergencies, get creative: A clean kitchen towel can temporarily contain a blowout Paper towels can handle spit-up if burp cloths aren’t within reach A towel on the floor can become an impromptu changing station It is OK to improvise. Just keep your babies’ safety your number one priority. Call for Backup When Possible If someone else is home or nearby: Use a specific, direct request: “I need you to take the baby in the blue onesie right now” Assign the simpler task to your helper if they’re less experienced (like asking a young child to bring you a diaper for their baby brother) Don’t waste time explaining everything—just get the immediate help The Aftermath Once both situations are under control: Give yourself credit for handling it Clean yourself up if needed Take a moment to reset before moving on Don’t forget this moment as it should give you confidence handling future craziness Remember This Truth Every twin dad has been through these double emergencies. What feels impossible now will become just another Tuesday in a few months. Your ability to handle these situations will improve dramatically with experience. The fact that you’re reading this article means you care deeply about being there for both of your babies. That commitment is what matters most—not whether you handled a particular situation perfectly. Trust me when I say: you’ve got this. And when you don’t feel like you’ve got this, just do the next right thing for whichever baby needs it most urgently, then move to the next. Before you know it, you’ll be the one giving advice to new twin dads. The post How to handle competing twin needs when they’re both urgent appeared first on Dad's Guide to Twins.

The urge to compare twins is one of the most natural yet challenging aspects of parenting multiples. Each of your twins is a unique individual so let’s discuss some practical ideas to avoid comparisons and celebrate each child’s unique journey. Understanding Our Comparison Instinct Parents of twins often feel guilty about comparing their children, but it’s important to recognize that this tendency is both natural and common. Our brains are wired to notice patterns and differences, and having two children of the same age makes comparisons almost inevitable. The key isn’t to eliminate comparative thoughts entirely (that’s unrealistic) but to manage them constructively. Why We Need to Minimize Comparisons Frequent comparisons can have lasting impacts on your twins’ development: They can create unnecessary anxiety about meeting milestones They might foster unhealthy competition between the twins Children may develop fixed mindsets about their abilities Twins might feel pressure to conform to or rebel against perceived roles Self-esteem can be affected when one twin consistently develops skills later than the other Practical Strategies for Avoiding Comparisons Instead of comparing developments, try these mental shifts to reframe your thinking: Replace “better/worse” thoughts with “different” observations Focus on each child’s progress relative to their own past not their twin’s progress Celebrate unique interests and abilities rather than shared twin milestones Remember that development isn’t a race, it’s a personal journey Words shape thoughts and behavior. Practice these communication habits to change your language patterns: Use individual names instead of “the twins” and encourage others to do likewise Describe specific actions one child does rather than making comparisons Share unique stories about each child Avoid phrases like “the athletic one” or “the creative one” Create separate records for each child to document your twins’ individual journeys: Keep individual baby books or journals for each twin Take solo photos, not just twin pictures Write personal letters or notes about each child’s unique moments Record specific memories and milestones about one twin without reference to their sibling Managing External Comparisons Others will inevitably compare your twins. Here’s how to handle it: Educate family members about the importance of treating each child individually Provide teachers with information about your approach to twin parenting Respond to comparative comments with positive statements about each child’s unique traits Model the behavior you want others to follow Practical Daily Techniques Create Individual Time Schedule one-on-one activities with each child Alternate who gets to do things first Create special traditions with each twin Find opportunities for separate experiences Celebrate Differences Support different interests and activities Allow different clothing choices Respect different friendship groups Encourage unique hobbies Acknowledge achievements independently Avoid rushing one child to “catch up” Celebrate progress rather than timing Take time each day to: Note one unique quality about each child Reflect on individual interactions you had with each child Plan individual activities with each twin When Additional Support Is Helpful Sometimes, parents need additional support to manage comparison concerns. Here’s where you can get some help: Consider consulting a child psychologist familiar with twin dynamics Join twin parent support groups to discuss strategies (here’s a big list of twin parenting clubs) Seek guidance from experienced twin educators Work with healthcare providers who understand twin development Breaking free from the habit of comparing twins is a journey that requires patience, mindfulness, and practice. Remember that occasional comparisons don’t make you a bad parent—they make you human. The goal is not perfection but progress in seeing and celebrating each child’s unique path. As your twins grow, you’ll find that their differences become as beautiful as their similarities. By consciously working to minimize comparisons, you help create an environment where each child can develop confidently and independently, secure in their own identity while maintaining their special twin bond. The post Avoiding Twin Comparisons (how twin parents can encourage individuality) appeared first on Dad's Guide to Twins.

What do you do when one of your twins wants all the attention and gets upset when anyone is showing affection to their twin? We found this particularly troublesome with toddler twins. For toddler twins, you’ll need to adapt your strategies to match their developmental stage. Toddlers are still learning to regulate their emotions, communicate effectively, and understand social dynamics like sharing attention. Here’s how you could help your young twins: Acknowledge and Name Emotions Simplify language to match their understanding. Observe their behavior (e.g., whining, hitting, clinging) as these are primary ways toddlers express emotions. At this age, toddlers might not have the words to express their feelings fully, so helping them label their emotions can be helpful. For example, you can say, “I see you’re feeling sad because [brother/sister] is getting a hug. You want a hug too, don’t you?” Name the emotion for them, such as “mad” or “sad,” so they start to learn how to recognize their feelings. Offer hugs, gentle pats, and soothing words like “I know you’re feeling frustrated” or “It’s okay to feel sad.” You can then model how to express these feelings with words instead of actions like crying or pushing. Model Sharing and Taking Turns At this stage, your toddler twins are just learning how to share and take turns. So, model the behavior you want to see by taking turns giving affection. For example, give one twin a hug, then give the other twin a hug right after. This helps them understand that attention can be shared. You can even count or narrate the process to make it clear, like, “First it’s your turn for a cuddle, and then it’s [brother’s/sister’s] turn!” Toddlers respond well to simple routines and clear cues (thus the success of a bedtime routine). Reassure and Redirect When a toddler gets upset because their sibling is receiving attention, you may need to reassure them and immediately redirect their attention to something else. For example, you could say, “I’ll give you a hug after we play with this toy together.” Distraction works well with toddlers, so redirecting them to an engaging activity can help break the cycle of jealousy or frustration. For example, “Let’s look at this picture!” Praise Positive Behavior Immediately Praise the toddlers immediately when they exhibit positive behavior, like waiting their turn for affection or showing interest in their twin’s happiness. Keep the praise simple: “Wow, you’re being so patient! Great job waiting your turn!” Toddlers thrive on immediate feedback, so acknowledging even small moments of patience can encourage them to repeat those behaviors. Separate Time with Each Twin With toddlers, you’ll want to create more opportunities for one-on-one time for each child. Toddlers are still very dependent on individual attention to feel secure. Even brief moments of individualized attention can make a big difference. Short, separate sessions with each child can help them feel loved without feeling like they’re in competition. For example, one could have a quiet story time while the other plays, then switch. Even short periods of dedicated attention, like reading a book or playing peek-a-boo with each child individually, can make a big difference. Encourage independent play by providing age-appropriate toys and activities that allow them to explore their own interests. Simplify Boundaries and Expectations Use clear, simple rules for behavior, such as, “We don’t grab. We ask for a turn” or “We share the love” when you see one twin getting upset. Toddlers understand short, simple rules more easily than complex explanations. Be consistent in how you respond—always gently remind the upset twin that they will get affection too, but that everyone needs to take turns. If they persist with unwanted behavior (like pushing), calmly but firmly guide them to use their words or gestures instead. Use Physical Affection for Both at the Same Time Since toddlers love physical affection, you can often combine affection for both twins at once. For instance, give both of them a hug or sit them on your lap together. This can reduce feelings of competition and help them understand that both can receive love simultaneously. Parallel play is also helpful at this age, where you engage in activities side by side (like coloring or playing with blocks) and show affection intermittently as they play. Focus on Positive Interaction Between Them Encourage your toddlers to interact positively with each other. When one twin shows affection toward the other, like giving a hug or sharing a toy, immediately reinforce that behavior with praise: “Wow, that was so nice of you to share!” Model positive interactions by engaging them in joint activities where they can both experience the joy of cooperation, like building a tower together or playing peekaboo. Praise them for working as a team. Set a Routine for Affection Toddlers feel more secure when they have routines, so try to incorporate regular moments of affection throughout the day. For example, make it a habit to have a morning cuddle or nighttime ritual with both twins. This gives them a sense of predictability, reducing anxiety about “competition” for attention. You might say, “We always have a cuddle before nap time, and we share lots of love!” Routine creates structure that helps toddlers feel confident. Stay Calm and Patient Stay calm and composed, even if one twin gets upset or acts out. Toddlers are learning how to regulate their emotions, and they take cues from you. If you remain patient, it models how to manage emotions in a calm way. If they’re still struggling with sharing attention, it may just take more time. Consistent gentle guidance is key at this stage. Avoid Overstimulation Sometimes toddlers can get upset when there’s too much going on at once. Ensure that both twins feel like they have space and time to process affection. Take breaks and give them moments of quiet time if they seem overwhelmed. By being consistent with your twins, you’re laying the groundwork for healthier sibling interactions and emotional regulation. The focus at this age is to provide lots of reassurance, gentle redirection, and consistent boundaries, while also giving them the individual attention they need to feel secure. The post How do you deal with one twin wanting all the attention? appeared first on Dad's Guide to Twins.

Episode 318 of the Dad’s Guide to Twins Podcast Show Notes Today we continue our father of twins interview series with Aaron Ameen, father of identical boys. Listen as we explore his twin parenting journey, including: Moving across the country during the twin pregnancy Helping others tell the twins apart Juggling a full time job and running your own business while raising twins Toddler’s reactions to having twin babies in the house Finding daycare for twins and a toddler Handling careers after birth of twins The twin delivery experience Taking paternity leave Creating boundaries when working at home Daily routine for one-year-old twins and more… Connect with Aaron on his website aaronameen.com or email him aaron@aaronameen.com. Podcast Transcript This is transcript auto-generated so please forgive any mistakes. Joe: Tell us a little bit about your family right now. How old are your twins and what’s the family dynamic right now? Aaron: We have three young children – three-year-old daughters who just turned three about two weeks ago at the time of this recording, and then our twin boys. They’re identical boys who will turn one in about three weeks. So three right under the age three – pretty busy household here. Joe: That’s crazy. I mean, I always tell people if you can make it through that first year with twins, you can do anything – especially if you have a toddler in the mix. That’s extra crazy. So what is something kind of exciting about this age with your boys? Aaron: So far, we’ve really enjoyed and been very lucky that the kids all get along. At first, we were worried about our daughter maybe getting jealous or there being some competing dynamics, but there’s been a really warm environment among our kids. The boys love their sister. There’s nothing she can do wrong in their eyes. She loves to kind of rough house with them and we’re always worried that she’s going to hurt them, but everything that she does to them, they just end up laughing and smiling. They’re really interactive. They love to babble and talk to each other and now they’re starting to kind of babble towards us. Not sure if they’re quite saying anything or if they know what they’re saying yet, but the developmental pace at which they’re developing at this kind of 11 month to 12 month mark is pretty incredible. Not two months ago, they weren’t even crawling and now they’re pretty close to walking. Joe: Do they kind of hit their milestones about the same time, or is one kind of ahead of the other? Aaron: There’s been some variation. With crawling, one of them made it about probably three weeks ahead of the other one. But now for the most part throughout this first year, they’ve hit milestones around the same time – teeth coming in, and they really are identical. We can tell them apart, but there’s still times that we mix them up a bit. Certainly any family members that don’t see them often or friends, they can’t tell them apart at all. Even at the daycare, it’s a game we play every morning where the teacher guesses which one is which, and they’re still working on getting it right. Joe: Do you have some kind of system that you have in place to help other people tell them apart? Aaron: We try and point out some of the distinguishing features to us. One of them has more curly hair, the shape of their face is a little bit different, they have a different smile, but we don’t label them or anything. One thing we don’t do though – I know a lot of people dress their twins in identical clothes – we do at a minimum put them in different outfits so that you only have to figure out which one is who one time per day because then you’ll be able to tell by the outfit. Joe: I was so afraid of mixing up our girls because we have identical girls. Like you, they look really close, very similar. I was afraid to dress them the same. Eventually, like you’ve discovered, you notice the subtle physical differences or their mannerisms and such. But other people, they still mix them up. So I’m like, okay, we’ll make it easier for everybody else. We’ll dress them in different colors and stuff like that to help out. Aaron: If they have to come back and keep asking you all the time, then it’s harder for everyone. So might as well make it easy. Joe: So your daughter is interacting with them – has she always been positive towards them or did you see any jealousy early on with your daughter? Aaron: We’ve been really astonished. She has not really shown any aggression or anything like that towards them. There’ve been a couple moments where I think she, when she saw each of us holding one – like when mom had one and I had one, and then she was on the ground – we’ve seen a couple glances over of her feeling a little left out. She’ll go and play with their toys. When we used pacifiers, she would go put the pacifier in her mouth. A couple of those things indicated that she felt a little bit left out, but it was more of a statement than her crying or hitting them. For the most part, that dynamic – we’re really lucky that it’s turned into her wanting to help. From very early on, she wanted to help change their diapers and bring them bottles. We tried to just find ways to engage with her so that she felt like she was part of the team, which she is. That was one thing we had read and heard from a number of different sources – if you can make them feel like they’re being helpful and include them, then it really goes a long way to prevent that jealousy from creeping in. She loves playing with them. She always asks about them. At daycare, she’s always bragging about them, like “Have you seen my brothers?” It probably won’t always be smooth like that, but we’ll take what we got. Joe: You mentioned daycare for your kiddos. Are they all in the same place? Aaron: We ended up relocating when we found out we were going to have twins. We were in Washington state before that, which is where I grew up. When we found out we were pregnant, we thought it was going to be another singleton. We had in our plan that we were going to have two kids. In our financial roadmap, that was how things played out and we were just stretching on the edge of affordability in Washington. Then we found out it was going to be twins and not only twins, but it was this kind of high-risk pregnancy. We were in a smaller city in central Washington and we didn’t have access to the type of specialists that we needed to see. We actually ended up spending a bunch of time in Houston, which is where we live now and where my dad lives. When we got down here, we started comparing the cost of daycare and availability of childcare in that small city in Washington versus what it is here. Basically, it was going to cost upwards of about $7,000 a month if we wanted to have three kids in daycare in Washington, and it’s only about $3,000 a month here. Availability was another big factor – the waitlists were over a year long in Washington. Here in Houston, there’s availability. There’s daycares every – within five miles of where I’m sitting right now, there’s 10 daycare centers and most of them had availability. To answer your actual question though, when we moved here, my wife was still pregnant and our daughter was just under two years old. We started her in one daycare that only accepted 18 months and older. When the twins were born, we had them home for the first eight or nine months. Then we had to put them in a separate daycare right down the road from where our daughter is because hers didn’t accept until 18 months. Now our daily routine is we drop her off and then it’s probably half a mile away, we drop the boys off on the way home. Same thing on pickup – we go to those two and they’re basically right next to each other. Joe: Moving across the country while pregnant with twins – that’s not something I recommend everybody do, but you survived. You made it work. Obviously it was in the best interests of your family to make that move. I’m in Texas too, so I give you a thumbs up for that move. Were there any complications with the pregnancy that overshadowed this whole transition for your family? Aaron: We are very fortunate that there were no major complications throughout. Most of the major complications were logistical, to be honest. We had to drive two and a half hours every other week. Between 10 and 14 weeks is the highest risk of this twin-to-twin transfusion that can happen. We had MoDi twins – they shared one placenta but had two amniotic sacs. They monitored to make sure that one’s not stealing nutrients from the other, which can cause serious complications and require intervention. The frequency of appointments was high, our stress was high, it was a new situation for us. It was pretty disruptive. She was still working, we still had our daughter who was one, and I was still working full time. We also have a real estate portfolio across a few different states, so we at times were traveling and dealing with stuff with that. We just had a really busy schedule and a lot of commitments where it became difficult and stressful to manage, constantly driving into the city and all that. We never had any major medical complications, but we started weighing all these different factors of what we wanted our life to look like and how the pregnancy was progressing. It led us to make that really pretty gargantuan decision. We had it in our plan that we were gonna live in Washington for the next 20 years and enjoy raising our family there. I have family that lives in Washington, so it was a really difficult decision to leave one part of my family and go near another. Most of the complication was emotional and logistical, more than physical. I want to take a second to pay homage to the resources that you provided. I really did find the course that you put together and consumed a lot of the stuff that you put out. I think it’s important to have someone speaking to what the father’s experience and perspective is in this journey. There are c

I just saw a list of new innovative baby products. Let’s talk about whether those products would be a good match for your twins. The Juvenile Products Manufacturers Association (JPMA), an organization representing companies that make products for babies, toddlers, and children, has released their 2024 Innovation Awards list. Let me highlight some notable winners. The Parents Pick award went to the HALO Easy Transition Sleep Sack. This product is perfect for swaddling babies while keeping their arms free and legs in a spacious pouch. It allows babies to roll over safely, move, and self-soothe without being completely restricted. For twin parents, you’ll need one for each baby. The Editor’s Pick was awarded to the Graco Read With Me 4-in-1 Convertible Bookshelf Crib with Drawer. This innovative crib features bookshelves on the short side and can transform into different configurations as your child grows: from crib to daybed to toddler bed. However, twin parents should note that each baby needs their own sleep surface, and the bookshelf feature might be impractical if cribs need to be placed side by side. The Tried and True award went to the Safety 1st Grow and Go All-in-One Convertible Car Seat. This car seat adapts from 5 to 100 pounds and can be used in both rear-facing and forward-facing positions. It features easy adjustment of the headrest and harness without rethreading or reinstallation. In the Play/Entertainment category, the Skip Hop Discoverosity 3-in-1 Sensory Table won top honors. This 24-piece set includes tools like wooden tongs, rollers, animal scoops, and rakes for digging, sorting, and sculpting. While it works well for floor play with twins, the table configuration only comes with one seat. The Safety category winner was the Munchkin Mini Thermometer, featuring no-touch infrared technology. It displays color-coded readings: green for normal temperature, red for elevated, and blue for too cold. Its compact size makes it perfect for diaper bags or nightstands. The On the Go category recognized the Tula Printed Mesh Explore Carrier. This adjustable carrier allows babies to face toward or away from the parent. While it’s designed for one child, parents of twins might consider buying two for tandem wearing, similar to Baby Bjorn carriers. The Boppy Travel Bassinet won in the Nursery category. It’s lightweight and compact, making it ideal for travel. Twin parents would need two units for safe sleep arrangements while visiting family or on vacation. The Diono Connect 3RXT 2-in-1 High-Back Booster won the Child Restraint Systems category. At less than 17 inches wide, these seats are notable for fitting three across in most car back seats – a crucial feature for growing families. In the Technology category, the Cybex e-Gazelle S Stroller stands out with its 20+ configurations and ability to carry two children up to 50 pounds each. It features stadium seating and an electric assist for uphill climbs. Finally, the Environmentally Friendly category winner was the Dekor Eko Diaper Pail. This hands-free system helps contain odors and uses post-consumer recycled materials for both the unit and refills, making it an eco-conscious choice for managing twin diaper disposal. The post 2024 JPMA Innovation Awards Winners (Are They Twin Friendly?) appeared first on Dad's Guide to Twins.

If your twins look alike, can they share a passport? The simple answer is no, twins can not share a passport. Each person needs their own passport document. We’ll dive into more details below but remember to follow the laws of your country in regards to passports. For our family here in the United States, we first got passport cards for our children (including our twins) because we knew we had a road trip to Canada on the calendar and didn’t have other international plans on the horizon. Plus passport cards were cheaper and since we had to renew more often with younger children we went with that option. Fast forward to getting passport books for our children, everyone in the household got a passport. Sure, our identical twin girls look the same to most people. However, you can’t walk up to border control, show one passport and then hand it off the other twins. The only possible way I see sharing a passport working would be if one of your twins was traveling without her twin. Then there would be no way to tell one twin from the other. Unless fingerprints are involved. Even identical twins don’t have identical fingerprints. Sharing passports seems more like something you’d see in a movie than is actually practical in real life. Bottom line: don’t share passports. It can only lead to trouble. Here’s why… Legal Necessity Passports are legal documents that verify an individual’s identity. Even though your twins may look identical, they are distinct individuals in the eyes of the law. Each twin has their own unique identity, complete with a separate birth certificate and social security number. Consequently, each twin requires their own passport. Security Concerns Using the same passport for twins could pose significant security risks. It could lead to confusion at border control, cause delays in travel, and potentially result in legal issues. Immigration officials are trained to match passport photos with the individuals presenting them, and having two people using one passport would raise immediate red flags. Application Process The process for obtaining passports for twins is essentially the same as for any individual child. You’ll need to submit separate applications for each twin, along with their individual birth certificates, proof of citizenship, and passport photos. Be prepared to pay separate fees for each application. In some countries, there may be slight variations in the process for twins. For instance, in the United States, if you’re applying for passports for twins under 16, both parents or guardians must be present at the passport acceptance facility, unless one parent has sole custody or provides a notarized consent form. Cost Considerations The cost of obtaining passports for twins is simply double the cost of a single passport. However, keep in mind that expedited processing, if needed, will also double in cost. It’s wise to budget accordingly and apply well in advance to avoid rush fees. Planning Ahead Apply for passports well before your planned travel date. Standard processing times can take several weeks, and unexpected delays can occur. It’s better to have the passports in hand months before your trip rather than anxiously waiting as your travel date approaches. Organizing Documents Keep essential documents like birth certificates and proof of citizenship readily available. Make copies of all important documents and store them separately from the originals. This can be a lifesaver if documents are lost or stolen during travel. Labeling and Identification Clearly label all of your twins’ belongings, including passports, to avoid mix-ups. Consider using different colored passport holders or luggage tags to easily distinguish between your twins’ items. Your Twins’ Passports While twins cannot share a passport, the process of obtaining individual passports for them is straightforward. The key is to plan ahead, stay organized, and be prepared for the unique challenges of traveling with twins. Remember, each twin’s passport is not just a travel document, but a symbol of their individual identity. By understanding and following passport regulations, you’re setting the stage for smooth, enjoyable international adventures with your twins. For more information on passport regulations and travel tips for twins, consult your country’s passport agency (here’s the U.S. passport information) or visit reputable travel websites specializing in family travel. Happy and safe travels with your twins! The post Can Twins Share a Passport? appeared first on Dad's Guide to Twins.