No More Vacations

When was the last time you carved out a moment to think about the experiences, values and expectations you would like to see in a partner? Mo & I thought the only way to begin our 11th episode, season finale, would be by turning the tables, on us. We use this episode to unpack and share some of those ideals in our M & N kind of way. We hope you enjoy our season finale and we look forward to chatting with you during Season 2 😉

Title is loaded, right? Yeah, same for us. In this episode, we discuss an article from Madam Noire titled “Black Women Can No Longer Afford to Save Broken Black Men.” It goes deeeeeep. We agree with some of it, but also recognize some of the perspectives are not so black and white. We knew the title may ring as "black man bashing" but, quite opposite we’re sharing our truths. One being, many black women are just tired. There are lots of issues specific to the black man & black woman dynamic we need to talk about!  The point is not to denigrate black men (never is, we love you) but instead to express a painful emotional load many black women carry by being so loyal to black men and the 'black family' w/o reciprocity. And then! In the spirit of talking about deep loaded issues, we also took a dip in the cheating pool, even grabbed an open relationship floaty 😜This one is super sensitive, multilayered and probably needs a part 2 and even 3, but for now, join us as we unpack.

Who taught you how to have sex? If you’re like the average person, porn is the answer. Fact: most people are not fully informed about sex, pleasure, what to do or what not to do before they actually engage in it. The problem is that “porno is not real; women do not look like that in real life; sex almost never goes the way it’s depicted in porn; the average person does not have a ten inch penis. All of this is wrong” according to Stanley Fritz. On this week’s episode we welcomed our first guest and editor in chief of the popular men’s blog Let’s Not Be Trash. We’re talking about sex and it gets raw! As usual, we unpacked - not just porn itself but how the history of porn has pushed racial stereotypes, misguided expectations of men AND women and most importantly how porn as a teacher is fucking up the game, no pun intended.

Inspired by this article from Madam Noire, Men Who Attract “Crazy” Women: It’s All Your Fault, on this week's episode, we're discussing the the article's claim that there are certain tell tale signs of a woman that's "crazy".  Is that true or false? Are we responsible by way of our choices for the type of people that we attract? Are the metrics that we use to measure other people a mirror reflection of who we are? Also, some men love calling women "crazy" but, are we really? Or have we been subjected to foolishness and are no longer with the shits. There's so many layers to unpack - Lets 👏 talk 👏about 👏 it 👏! 

Have you ever met someone and didn’t look at them ‘like that’ at first but later on formed an attraction? Here’s another one: have you ever dated someone where there weren’t any ‘sparks’ at the very beginning but over time you fell in love? In this week’s episode, we exchange perspectives on those initial set of feelings that you get when you just meet someone and we explore the possibility of having a romantic partner ‘grow on you.’ Sparks in the air and butterflies in your belly sound cool but, are they realistic? Sustainable? Maybe a slow and steady burn is better than a rapid fire OR maybe not! Join us as we unpack.

The 5 stages of dating can be defined as 1. Attraction 2. Uncertainty 3. Exclusivity 4. Intimacy and 5. Engagement. In this episode, we discuss feelings of uncertainty and possible confusion while still ending up with intimacy... How did we sidestep the entire 3rd stage; a conversation about exclusivity? Join us as we begin to peel back the layers of understanding how so many of us end up in the twilight zone of “Unnatural Progression”

Should we be exercising restraint with what we engage with? When should we start drawing the lines? A like, a comment, or a DM? Is your spouse “allowed” to like dick pics or half naked women... should they just look and keep scrolling? Should we suddenly freeze our preferences or close our eyes to the things we 'like' just because we're in a relationship? Are there too many rules or not enough? Overwhelmed yet? Yeah, us too. The impact of social media is undeniable. Instagram users 'like' 4.2 BILLION posts a day. The content that we consume has a direct impact on our moods, choices, perspective, preferences, etc, etc, etc. No matter which side you choose, it is evident that there are feelings behind this social past time. Join us as we unpack how to navigate the instasphere when you're in a relationship. 

What are the 3 top qualities you look for in a friend? Is it compassion, truth, honesty and/or respect?! In this episode we unpack, redefine and sign contracts... Are you my friend?

Bag secured, now what? Ready to 👀 something, now what? “Now what” the overlooked chasm between our current state & aspirations to live our best lives... but what does “living our best lives” entail besides a well manicured IG photo accompanied by the infamous caption? Thinking about it on a larger scale, we are working, saving, spending and sexing but somehow conversations about strategies, best practices, mistakes and lessons learned are nonexistent... Episode 3, a conversation about the birds, bees & money trees.

This week's episode was inspired a Harper's Bazar article written by Melanie Hamlett. Here's a small excerpt from the piece.. "In our culture, men have always found ways to be near each other, but it’s never been centered around feelings,” he explains. “Men are taught the remedy to heartbreak is to get drunk with your buddies, objectify women, and go out and get laid; to basically distance yourself from your feelings and channel them into an aggressive outlet. We use sports as an excuse to bump up against each other, so desperate we are for human touch and intimacy. But this kind of closeness is based in camaraderie and aggression, not vulnerability and trust. The former is very surface level and not nearly as satisfying as the latter."  Read more here: https://www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/features/a27259689/toxic-masculinity-male-friendships-emotional-labor-men-rely-on-women/

Ex is supposed to mean EXpired, right? Well, what do you do when the commitment is over BUT the relationship lingers....or maybe you all are “just friends” now. There’s this question that will remain: can & should we maintain platonic relationships with people we’ve been intimate with?  This is a conversation about what to do when you have a case of the Ex!