Claim OwnershipFortune Kit
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Description
Alex Nichols and Charles Austin cover the least important stories in music.
307 Episodes
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![294 - Microgoats [Patreon Preview]](https://s3.castbox.fm/67/7a/4b/dbed88686c82ef8251b143dacb18c22c2d_scaled_300.jpg "294 - Microgoats [Patreon Preview]")
We need microscopic goats to make the ultimate milk for Ringo Starr. All mainstream country should be about Minecraft since it's fundamentally about mining and farming and stuff. And kids should be able to buy vapes if they have good grades. Full episode on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/294-microgoats-152406160
Soulja Boy should become a real estate agent. Sony's Tokyo HQ should get better toilet paper. We should follow Freddie Gibbs on tour in order to take a karate lesson before each show.
Subscribe to Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/fortunekit
Ending song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tBcgWQDKJhI
Join the Discord: https://discord.com/invite/HabqgJf
Pitbull invents a new world record to break and Jelly Roll's wife writes a book about doing pills with ex-boyfriends who were too lazy to focus on their rap careers. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit
Listen to Charles' new show Trouble in River City: https://www.patreon.com/cw/TroubleInRiverCity
Lil Wayne counterprogrammed the Super Bowl Halftime Show with a performance in Clash Royale with better production values than Turning Point USA. It would have been nice to see Mike Love do "Kokomo" at TP USA but it's sadly too globalist and woke.
Subscribe to Fortune Kit on Patreon: www.patreon.com/fortunekit
Ending song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tBcgWQDKJhI
Join the Discord: discord.gg/HabqgJf
Listen to Charles' new show Trouble in River City: www.patreon.com/TroubleInRiverCity
Noted sicko the Dalai Lama takes home his first Grammy and Bob Dylan and Paul McCartney are announced for Turning Point USA's Super Bowl halftime show (source: Facebook). Full episode on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/290-diddy-lama-150112918
Charles and Alex talk RXKNephew, Neil Young, Nathen Mazri, and the Pitchfork paywall.
Subscribe to Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit
Join the Discord: discord.gg/HabqgJf
Listen to Charles' new show Trouble in River City: https://www.patreon.com/TroubleInRiverCity
Soulja Boy was the first rapper to complain about pronouns for non-ideological reasons. And it's crazy the devil hangs out at the crossroads when the cross is Jesus' main thing. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit
Soulja Boy wears ill-fitting shoes to the club, more artists bail on the Trump Memorial Center, and Morrissey finally releases his amazing songs that the industry doesn't want us to hear. Fortune Kit on Patreon: www.patreon.com/fortunekit
Charles and Alex visit Eric Alper's website to read the article "Step by Step Guide to Buying the Ideal Legal Highs." Plus, Elon should do a new Voyager gold disk with Brony dubstep and "America, Fuck Yeah" on it and Anne Geddes should be Trump's photographer. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit
Obama should have drank the water in Bikini Bottom to prove it's not irradiated. And Alex reveals he is now playing a Paul Stanley signature series guitar. Full episode on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/285-semi-hollow-147255525
The power of AI has made Soulja Boy 100x more efficient. In the span of a week he started a clothing brand, dropped a song, joined a new streaming platform, and started a new crypto scam. Plus, Billy McFarland actually put on a music fest. Fortune Kit on Patreon: www.patreon.com/fortunekit
Ending song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Txr__rDjZ-Q
Charles and Alex play Soulja Boy's new Rap Fighter flash game. Plus, Drake's "Nokia" was inspired by Cocomelon and Crazy Frog. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit
Ending song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Txr__rDjZ-Q
Imagine the debates they have in heaven: Socrates, Charlie Kirk, the Devil. It brings us no pleasure to report that the evil Blue Wiggle and his no-good nephew are at it again, promoting drug use to impressionable children. Full episode on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/282-alexs-shroom-145155433
The Island Boys need to get their shit together and go to law school. Plus, we listen to Olivia Nuzzi's song "Jailbait" where she saw Britney Spears' schoolgirl shtick and said, "this could be less subtle." Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit
Ending song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KzKsQchRmTg
Paul McCartney's "Got Back" Tour is named for his big fat ass. We also go on a journey to the year 2010, when Vladimir Putin sang Blueberry Hill and Drake got peed on (but it wasn't his fault). Fortune Kit on Patreon: www.patreon.com/fortunekit
Ending song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KzKsQchRmTg
If Democrats decide that rapping was key to Zohran's success, Lin Manuel Miranda will become the highest-paid consultant in Washington. And is Chubby Checker's music too old even for people who go to casinos?
Ending song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KzKsQchRmTg
Soulja Boy is back on his bullshit with a new game console, "headphone's," and $48 body wash. We also explore an artist adjacent to both Soulja Boy and Crazy Frog: 2000s ringtone sensation Gummibär. Full episode on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/posts/278-2025-flip-143067447
Is Palestine Radiohead's Yoko Ono? Plus, Bored Ape Yacht Club is making a comeback… as a Metaverse! …In 2025. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit
How much is Snoop Dogg like Krusty the Clown? Sombr likes to call his teenage fans' toxic exes onstage, but what teenager would actually pick up the phone? And much like David Sirota, D'Angelo was puffing on Yoda. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit
Dee Snider's son has a cool Kickstarter for A.I. generated 432 Hz healing music that sounds like Imagine Dragons. Timbaland is doing some A.I. junk too. Fortune Kit on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fortunekit
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this may be the funniest thing I've ever heard.