Fruitbowl: An Oral History of Queer Sex

We all know the script: You meet someone. You date. You eventually say “I love you.” Pretty soon, you’re on the relationship escalator: moving in together, getting married and living the life that everyone dreams of. For generations, this script also assumed monogamy. But this episode is not about those kinds of relationships. This episode features stories about how we discover our own preferences when it comes to sexual exclusivity and the different ways queer people define relationships. James (S1E2) - Monogamous at first but never again; Dan (S3E16) - Giving up the relationship escalator; Mike (S3E19) - Sex doesn’t have to be relationship-defining; Aditya (S2E2) - “I’m most against something the day before I do it.”; Anders (S2E6) - A sick cat and solo polyamory; Nayland (S2E4) - Finding a polycule after age 40; Paul (S3E5) - “You want to stay together, right?” “Of course I do.”; Nathan S. (S3E13) - Transactional intimacy & Vulnerability; Lilian (S4E5) - Group intimacy; Mike (S3E19) - “I’ll try anything twice.”; Dan (S3E16) - Empathic Metamorph; Ari (S4E3) - Discovering kink and polyamory after 3 long-term monogamous relationships; Justin (S4E1) - Sex is too big to share with just one person; Mike (S3E19) - the origin of a throuple. This episode was edited and hosted by Dave Quantic, Fruitbowl’s creator and producer. Ryan Weadon did the music editing and final mix. Thanks Ryan! Support independent queer media by donating to Fruitbowl and help us in our mission to record, archive and share personal stories about queer coming of age. Learn more at www.fruitbowlpodcast.com/donate. Promoting a podcast about queer sex is an uphill battle when it comes to social media. Tell your friends about Fruitbowl, rate us on your podcast platform or write a review on Apple Podcast. Every little bit helps. https://linktr.ee/fruitbowlpod. Are you a young queer person in crisis or maybe you just need someone to talk to? Learn more about The Trevor Project HERE (https://www.thetrevorproject.org/get-help/). Fruitbowl’s fruit artwork for Season 5 was created by Nathan Richards.IG: @Paperwombat.

Kink is, by nature, taboo. That’s part of its appeal. Paradoxically, kinksters are often better at articulating what they want from sex because their sexual interests fall outside the boundaries of the most common sexual encounters.  Kinksters are known for blazing trails when it comes to innovative ways to talk about sex and give consent. Consent is built into the process of negotiating together what will and what won’t go down.  For example, in this episode, Ari describes asking potential partners to fill out a google doc questionnaire before they hookup in an effort to know what it is they want and as an introduction to Ari’s preferences and philosophies about sex. Other people describe the green light, yellow light, red light system that allows the bottom to communicate their comfort level. If any of the activities in either of these kink episodes interest you, I encourage you to read up or take classes on best-practices for safety protocol. Educate yourself and make sure you are clear with your partners about boundaries and safety so that every hookup can be mutually enjoyable. And have fun out there! Debra (S4E8) - Ann Rice inspires a lifetime of exploring kink; Zachery (S4E16) - Boring college sex leads to kink; Dan (S3E16) - Turning a sexual insecurities into a kink assets; Mike (S3E19) - kink explorations in Hong Kong; Josh (S3E1) - Discovering top identity after a break up; Zachery (S4E16) - A remote cabin and hockey bags of toys; Ari (S4E3) - Impact play and aftercare; Alex (S3E10) - “I am a bear, here for your pleasure”; Debra (S4E8) - Kink is playful, fun and funny; Mike (S3E19) - Doms are the screenwriters, Subs are the directors; Ari (S4E3) - Toys help kinksters with disabilities; Debra (S4E8) - Mean mommy and kink as improv; Kenny (S4E6) - Saying “Yes” to kink and armpits; Ari (S4E3) - The kink questionnaire; Zachery (S4E16) - An intro to using your hands. This episode was edited and hosted by Dave Quantic, Fruitbowl’s creator and producer. Ryan Weadon did the music editing and final mix. Thanks Ryan!  Support independent queer media by donating to Fruitbowl and help us in our mission to record, archive and share personal stories about queer coming of age. Learn more at www.fruitbowlpodcast.com/donate.  Promoting a podcast about queer sex is an uphill battle when it comes to social media. Tell your friends about Fruitbowl, rate us on your podcast platform or write a review on Apple Podcast. Every little bit helps. https://linktr.ee/fruitbowlpod.  Are you a young queer person in crisis or maybe you just need someone to talk to? Learn more about The Trevor Project HERE (https://www.thetrevorproject.org/get-help/). Fruitbowl’s fruit artwork for Season 5 was created by Nathan Richards.IG: @Paperwombat.

It’s tempting for queer people to want to conceal our kinks in an effort to be more acceptable to straight society. Acting like vanilla heteros is just one way to live in peace during this era of government-sanctioned hostility towards queer people. But bible thumping conservatives don’t really differentiate between kinky and non-kinky queer people. So we may as well let our freak flags fly. In this first episode of a two part series on kink, we’ll hear a variety of stories about kink discovery, kink education, kink acceptance and first-person descriptions of amazing communities and relationships that grew from a shared interest of kink. Below is a list of contributors for this episode along with a brief description of their segment and a link to their full length episodes. Saira (S3E21) - The go-to, kinky sex-pert; Anders (S2E6) - discovering kink classes and communities; Adam (S2E3) - pixxing down my throat; Nayland (S2E4) - “I’m too old to sleep with boring people”; Saira (S3E21) - Impact play at theater camp; Paul (S3E5) - The origin story of Rain City Jacks; Anders (S2E6) - Public play, bathhouses and house parties; Carlos (S1E2) - playing dress up with “straight” guys; Drew (S4E4) - Embracing men’s imperfect bodies; Ryan C. (S3E14) - Describing Gainers; Drew (S4E4) - Big Body at the Eagle; Anders (S2E6) - the importance of aftercare; Saira (S3E21) - breath play and safety; Tyler (S1E6) - old-timey white boxer briefs; Drew (S4E4) - embracing a new body; Saira (S3E21) - the challenges of being an experienced BDSM top. This episode was edited and hosted by Dave Quantic, Fruitbowl’s creator and producer. Ryan Weadon did the music editing and final mix. Thanks Ryan! Support independent queer media by donating to Fruitbowl and help us in our mission to record, archive and share personal stories about queer coming of age. Learn more at www.fruitbowlpodcast.com/donate. Promoting a podcast about queer sex is an uphill battle when it comes to social media. Tell your friends about Fruitbowl, rate us on your podcast platform or write a review on Apple Podcast. Every little bit helps. https://linktr.ee/fruitbowlpod. Are you a young queer person in crisis or maybe you just need someone to talk to? Learn more about The Trevor Project HERE (https://www.thetrevorproject.org/get-help/). Fruitbowl’s fruit artwork for Season 5 was created by Nathan Richards.IG: @Paperwombat.

Religion has a terrible track record when it comes to queer members and issues: condemnation, rejection and often, in the case of the Catholic church, exploitation and excommunication. While not all religions are anti-LGBT, most everyone I interviewed for Fruitbowl had negative experiences with their faith, especially in their coming of age years when we didn’t have the agency to decide for ourselves if religion was something we actually wanted to participate in. Instead, it was thrust upon us and, as a result, many queer people became disenfranchised and suspicious of faith based institutions and the many self-righteous followers who feel empowered to judge us. Editor’s Note: not all the interviewees identify themselves for every anecdote that is shared in this episode, so here is a comprehensive list of all the featured interviewees along with some description of each of their sections: Andre (S3E17) - “I can’t lie to God!”; Alan (S3E2) - Growing up in the Cult of Mormon. Gabe (S1E8) - Freezing time in church; Puddin (S4E9) - Gay is the ultimate sin; Josh (S3E1) - Machismo, Christianity and self-punishment; Nathan S. (S3E13) - Christianity in the Egyptian-American community in New Jersey; Ari (S4E3) - The perfect Christian family…not.; John C. (S4E17) - Hot for preacher; Puddin (S4E9) - A letter to myself & my Vaseline jar; Nathan S. (S3E13) - Self love and Mr. Smiley; Dave (S4E15) - Cruising after choir practice; Elliott (S3E11) - Falling in love at church; Alan (S3E2) - Mormon missionary and The Dragon; Puddin (S4E9) - The Campus Crusade Leader and his Accountability Partner; Alan (S3E2) - Breaking the BYU “Honor” code; Puddin (S4E9) - Exodus and the “ex-gay” community; Alan (S3E2) - Saved by my theater family; Puddin (S4E9) - Saved by Doubting David; John C. (S4E17) - Massaging the megachurch preacher; Puddin (S4E9) - Dad’s funeral; Jason (S1E1) - Overnight with the wrestler from church. This episode was edited and hosted by Dave Quantic, Fruitbowl’s creator and producer. Ryan Weadon did the music editing and final mix. Thanks Ryan!  Support independent queer media by donating to Fruitbowl and help us in our mission to record, archive and share personal stories about queer coming of age. Learn more at www.fruitbowlpodcast.com/donate.  Promoting a podcast about queer sex is an uphill battle when it comes to social media. Tell your friends about Fruitbowl, rate us on your podcast platform or write a review on Apple Podcast. Every little bit helps. https://linktr.ee/fruitbowlpod.  Fruitbowl’s fruit artwork for Season 5 was created by Nathan Richards.IG: @Paperwombat.

To be trans in America right now is to live day to day knowing that your very existence is considered a provocation, a threat. But for the next hour and 13 minutes, I invite you to leave all the chaos and vitriol of our current political climate behind and listen to these trans and non-binary interviewees share some of my favorite Fruitbowl stories about identity, community, sex and intimacy. Not just trans stories. Human stories. Just listen and I can guarantee you’ll find something you identify with. You’ll notice that many of the interviewees describe very specific physical details about their gender transitions and how sex changed for them after their bodies healed. Most of these stories came up in the part of the interview where I encouraged the interviewees to go off script and talk about any topic of their choice. The fact that they trusted me enough to talk about intensely personal subjects so that I could share it with my listeners is profoundly meaningful to me. I knew a long time ago that I would eventually want to collect these stories in just one episode and now, finally, here it is. Here’s a list of the different interviewees with links to their full-length interviews.  Sam (S1E1) - The Move™; Anders (S2E6) - Notes on a transition and kink; Elliott (S3E11) - Getting to know slutty Elliott and other reflections on hooking up with cis dudes;  RC (S2E8) - “I did that for the D?!”; Adé (S2E11) - Sex is great but Love is greater; Andre (S3E17) - Notes on cruising bathhouses while trans; Lilian (S4E5) - Transition revisions and sex; Ari (S4E3) - Becoming The Beast. This episode was edited and hosted by Dave Quantic, Fruitbowl’s creator and producer. Ryan Weadon did the music editing and final mix. Thanks Ryan!  Support independent queer media by donating to Fruitbowl and help us in our mission to record, archive and share personal stories about queer coming of age. Learn more at www.fruitbowlpodcast.com/donate.  Promoting a podcast about queer sex is an uphill battle when it comes to social media. Tell your friends about Fruitbowl, rate us on your podcast platform or write a review on Apple Podcast. Every little bit helps. https://linktr.ee/fruitbowlpod.  Fruitbowl’s fruit artwork for Season 5 was created by Nathan Richards.IG: @Paperwombat.

Love is complicated and for queer people, it's even more so.  Queer love rarely resembles traditional romantic stories. And while our representation is getting better, the lack of realistic queer adult love stories can make sorting through those complicated emotions and feelings a struggle. Many of this episode’s stories describe a certain kind of gratitude for the experience of first love, oftentimes the interviewees describe becoming close friends after their relationships ended. If a romantic bond eventually dissolves, we still see a reflection of ourselves in that other person; a recognition of all the struggle, bravery and honesty that it took to get to a place where we can admit that this is who I am and this is how I express love.  Ari (S4E3) - First love on the lunch shift; Steven M. (S4E14)  - Falling for the troublemaker & “Are you a rice queen?”; Adam T. (S3E20) - Practicing piano & learning how to love; Josh (S3E1) - An older, wiser first love; Breona (S4E18) - obsessed with love; Joshua G. (S2E7) - Learning about love and what not to do; Alan (S3E2) - Mormon love in the Inland Empire; Justin (S4E1) - Punk Love at the urinal; Adam (S2E3) - Sex is easy, Love is difficult; Mike (S3E19) - Love & Polyamory. This episode was edited, hosted and mixed by Ryan Weadon.  Fruitbowl is produced and created by Dave Quantic Support independent queer media by donating to Fruitbowl and help us in our mission to record, archive and share personal stories about queer coming of age. Learn more at www.fruitbowlpodcast.com/donate.  Promoting a podcast about queer sex is an uphill battle when it comes to social media. Tell your friends about Fruitbowl, rate us on your podcast platform or write a review on Apple Podcast. Every little bit helps. https://linktr.ee/fruitbowlpod.  Fruitbowl’s fruit artwork for Season 5 was created by Nathan Richards.IG: @Paperwombat.

College is often the first opportunity to separate ourselves, both geographically and psychologically, from oppressive families or communities. It's a chance to examine stifled urges and investigate sidelined feelings in an environment that includes others seeking similar experiences. When you combine this newfound sense of self with a bit of confidence and some good old fashioned young adult hormones, it's no wonder so many of us find ourselves falling in love for the first time at college. List of contributors and links to their full length episodes: Shavit (S3E8) - the hike from hell in Nepal;  Jerusha (S2E1) - Freshmen Orientations;  Dave (S4E15) - Love at first puke; Paul (S3E5) - Frustrations with JB; Karilla (S3E15) - Falling for the F Boy; Drew (S4E4) - Exes dating Exes; Lilian (S4E5) - Gender and Polyamory explorations; Donovan (S3E18) - The Best Friend, the Sailor and the blindfold; Aditya (S2E2) - Professor Bear. This episode was edited, hosted and mixed by Ryan Weadon.  Fruitbowl is produced and created by Dave Quantic Support independent queer media by donating to Fruitbowl and help us in our mission to record, archive and share personal stories about queer coming of age. Learn more at www.fruitbowlpodcast.com/donate.  Promoting a podcast about queer sex is an uphill battle when it comes to social media. Tell your friends about Fruitbowl, rate us on your podcast platform or write a review on Apple Podcast. Every little bit helps. https://linktr.ee/fruitbowlpod.  Fruitbowl’s fruit artwork for Season 5 was created by Nathan Richards. IG: @Paperwombat.

This episode is the first of a three part series about first love. Specifically, the messy, inconvenient, heartbreaking chaos that first love often inspires for people in high school as well as all the sweetness, optimism and exciting feelings of discovery both about ourselves and that special someone. Mix in the big feelings of emerging sexuality and you can understand why so many of these interviewees remember this time in their lives like it was yesterday. List of contributors and links to their full length episodes: Alan (S3E2) - First Love in the tenor section; Zachery (S4E16) - Never got to see that D; Ji (S2E5) - A moment of blooming on the beach; Patrick (S3E12) - Love in the hot tub; Deaunte (S3E3) - Finding love on the party line, souf end style; Erik (S3E9) - Best friend shut down; Kenny (S4E6) -  This episode was edited and hosted by Dave Quantic, the creator of Fruitbowl.  Ryan Weadon edited the music and final mix. Thanks Ryan! Support independent queer media by donating to Fruitbowl and help us in our mission to record, archive and share personal stories about queer coming of age. Learn more at www.fruitbowlpodcast.com/donate.  Promoting a podcast about queer sex is an uphill battle when it comes to social media. Tell your friends about Fruitbowl, rate us on your podcast platform or write a review on Apple Podcast. Every little bit helps. https://linktr.ee/fruitbowlpod.  Fruitbowl’s fruit artwork for Season 5 was created by Nathan Richards. IG: @Paperwombat.

You graduated high school. You packed up all your things and you’re moving into a dorm room or your first apartment. Finally, you have the chance to define life on your own terms. For many queer people, leaving our family and getting our own place is the chance to finally seek out the experiences we’ve always wanted but weren’t allowed to have when every move, every decision we made was scrutinized by the family that we grew up with.  In this final volume of our “Firsts” series we hear from Fruitbowl contributors about a variety of firsts: first “intimacies,” first boyfriends, first gay bars, first kisses; coming out, going in again, coming out a second time; all the things we wanted to do for so long and finally got the chance.  List of contributors and links to their full length episodes: 1.Tai (S3E7) - “Well, I wanted this and it’s stupid intense.” 2. Adam (S2E3) - Visiting The Cock. 3. Karilla (S3E15) - First time with a guy. First time with a girl. 4. Aditya (S2E2) - Coming out, going in and coming out again. 5. Ari (S4E3) - First time with college girlfriend. 6. Carlos (S1E2) - First boyfriend Kevin/Kathy. 7. Breona (S4E18) - Pregnant with Baby Jesus? 8. Josh (S3E1) - The Hot Barista. 9. James (S1E2) - Twizzler Nibs. 10. Andre (S3E17) - Sober Vegan Pride Party for 2. This episode was edited and hosted by Dave Quantic, the creator of Fruitbowl.  Danny Tayara edited the music and final mix. Thanks Danny! Fruitbowl will be on hiatus this August but will return with fresh episodes in September. Have a great rest of your summer everyone! Thanks to the sponsor of this episode, Shadetree Place Coaching and Jared H. Saks. Learn more at http://www.shadetreeplace.com/. Support independent queer media by donating to Fruitbowl and help us in our mission to record, archive and share personal stories about queer coming of age. Learn more at www.fruitbowlpodcast.com/donate.  Promoting a podcast about queer sex is an uphill battle when it comes to social media. Tell your friends about Fruitbowl, rate us on your podcast platform or write a review on Apple Podcast. Every little bit helps. https://linktr.ee/fruitbowlpod . Fruitbowl’s fruit artwork for Season 5 was created by Nathan Richards. IG: @Paperwombat.

These days, thanks to technology, it’s easier than ever to hook up; but no app can provide the rush you feel when you lock eyes with someone in person and you know, without any verbal communication, that there is a mutual interest. In this episode, our interviewees share first-time stories of cruising as well as other anecdotes about the art of cruising and what we’ve lost now that it has become less common. List of contributors and links to their full episodes: Justin (S4E1): The basics of cruising; Nathan (S3E4): Flipping a B in Glendale; Patrick (S3E12): The benefits of in-person hookups; Nayland (S2E4): Cruising at the Adonis; Stephen (S2E10): Cruising at the David; Jerry (S1E4): The Piers; Stephen (S2E10): The Piers, The Trucks, The Rambles; Nathan S. (S3E13): Grand Central Hotel, second floor bathroom; Adé (S2E11): Denver’s Tabor Center Food Court. Tom (S1E3): Anchorage’s Diamond Mall; John C. (S4E17): The mall bathroom; Dave (S4E15): Wichita’s Mall Bathrooms, Public Parks and first person description of an assault (listener discretion advised.); Dan (S3E16): A successful first flirtation; Jason (S1E1) - White Rock Lake bathroom. This episode was edited and hosted by Dave Quantic, the creator of Fruitbowl.  Ryan Weadon edited the music and final mix. Thanks Ryan! Thanks to the sponsor of this episode, Shadetree Place Coaching and Jared H. Saks. Learn more at http://www.shadetreeplace.com/. Support independent queer media by donating to Fruitbowl and help us in our mission to record, archive and share personal stories about queer coming of age. Learn more at www.fruitbowlpodcast.com/donate.  Promoting a podcast about queer sex is an uphill battle when it comes to social media. Tell your friends about Fruitbowl, rate us on your podcast platform or write a review on Apple Podcast. Every little bit helps. https://linktr.ee/fruitbowlpod . Fruitbowl’s fruit artwork for Season 5 was created by Nathan Richards. IG: @Paperwombat.

Let’s end Pride 2024 with a bang! For this episode, Dave is taking a break from his series on First Times and he’s selected a few of his favorite moments when interviewees shared profound thoughts about queerness, community, identity and, of course, there are a lot of things to say about sex. So put your rubbers on because tea will be spilled, mics will be dropped and truth bombs will be detonated. Here’s links to each contributor’s individual episode: Jason (S1E1): Don’t waste your time on the chase. Sam (S1E1): I could be a gay man. Jerusha (S2E1): Not trying to sell myself. Adam (S2E3): The bottom is in control. Ji (S2E5): You’re enough. Joshua G. (S2E7): Have more sex. Drew (S4E4): Big bellies at LA’s Eagle. Isabella (S2E9): Your body is your own. George (S1E7): Ask for what you want. Adé (S2E11): I believe in love. Josh (S3E1): Give yourself permission. Karilla (S3E15): Self love includes body acceptance. Erik (S3E9): Find your tribe. Mike (S3E19): Your race does not determine your preferences. Saira (S3E21): It’s okay to need people. Debra (S4E8): Wear clean underwear and other advice. This episode was edited and hosted by Dave Quantic, the creator of Fruitbowl.  Ryan Weadon edited the music and final mix. Thanks Ryan! Support independent queer media by donating to Fruitbowl and help us in our mission to record, archive and share personal stories about queer coming of age. Learn more at www.fruitbowlpodcast.com/donate.  Promoting a podcast about queer sex is an uphill battle when it comes to social media. Tell your friends about Fruitbowl, rate us on your podcast platform or write a review on Apple Podcast. Every little bit helps. https://linktr.ee/fruitbowlpod . Fruitbowl’s fruit artwork for Season 5 was created by Nathan Richards. IG: @Paperwombat.

There’s a tendency to devalue first times that come as a result of the internet. There’s no meet-cutes; no love at first sight. The getting-to-know-you window happens on your device. Most of them are one-offs we will never see ever again. But, like it or not, this is the way most of us find first time partners now though there are signs that dating apps are losing users and people are starting to rely more on in-person opportunities. The most compelling part of first time internet hookups is when we finally act on the desire that burns deep inside of us and we decide to finally follow through. Expectation collides with reality. We might meet sex partners who have the potential to excite us and fulfill all of our fantasies or they could be spectacular flame outs that send us into shame spirals. Most hookups land somewhere between these two extremes. We just never really know which it will be. Either way, they’re proof of the boundless optimism and fierce bravery of queer people. Section 1: 1975 Newspaper Personal Ad - Mike B. (S4E10) Section 2: Campus Intranet Bisexual Bear Chef - Stephen (S2E10) Section 3: Chat Rooms. Hairy Gay Florida Hookup - Alex (S3E10): Fixing a Daddy’s Sound Card - Tom (S1E3); Ann Arbor Pizza Date - Nathan (S3E4); Cemetery Hookup - Shavit (S3E8); India Chats with Portland, Maine - Aditya (S2E2); Richie Makes a Housecall - Mike (S3E19); A Man in a Van - Patrick (S3E12). Section 4: Anime Predator - Isabella (S2E9). Listener discretion advised. Section 5: Online Personals. This is a Hand - Tai (S3E7); Cis Straight Dude Caesar Salad - Lee (S1E4); Best Western on Denny - Ryan (S1E11); A Study in Two Daddies - Gabe (S1E8). This episode was edited and hosted by Dave Quantic, the creator of Fruitbowl.  Ryan Weadon edited the music and final mix. Thanks Ryan! Enter code “FRUITY” when you buy tickets online for half off Northwest Film Forum’s screenings of I SAW THE TV GLOW and BORN IN FLAMES this month. And remember to reserve your free ticket for the secret pride screening Thursday June 27 at 7pm.  https://nwfilmforum.org/series/pride-month-2024/ Support independent queer media by donating to Fruitbowl and help us in our mission to record, archive and share personal stories about queer coming of age. Learn more at www.fruitbowlpodcast.com/donate.  Tell your friends about Fruitbowl, rate us on your podcast platform or write a review on Apple Podcast. Every little bit helps. https://linktr.ee/fruitbowlpod  Fruitbowl’s fruit artwork for Season 5 was created by Nathan Richards. IG: @Paperwombat.

As I was building this second high school hookup episode, I realized that many of the stories have striking similarities. People who grew up thousands of miles apart, often in different decades, had similar coming of age experiences. So I decided to create an entire episode featuring story pairs that are like fun-house reflections of each other; further proof that, even though queer adolescence is often full of deep insecurity and loneliness, there is likely someone out there who is going through the same thing you are. Here’s a list of excerpts featured in this episode along with a link to their full length episode. Section 1: Camping Adventures. Jon (S1E12) & Adam T. (S3E20) Section 2: Exploring communities outside of high school. Dan (S3E16) & Salvador (S3E6) Section 3: Playful flirtations evolve into something more. Anders (S2E6) & Saira (S3E21) Section 4: Bad boys who feel good. Kenny (S4E6) & Andrew (S4E11) Section 5: Falling for step-siblings & discouraging hookups. Steven M. (S4E14) & Donovan (S3E18) Section 6: Transitioning from high school to college. Justin (S4E1) & Paul (S3E5) This episode was edited and hosted by Dave Quantic, the creator of Fruitbowl. Bayley Boecker edited the music and final mix. Thanks Bayley! Tickets and screening times for Fruitbowl & Northwest Film Forum’s pride month film series Time (Dis)Oriented: Radical Queer Pasts, Presents, and Futures are at https://nwfilmforum.org/series/pride-month-2024/ Support independent queer media by donating to Fruitbowl and help us in our mission to record, archive and share personal stories about queer coming of age. Learn more at www.fruitbowlpodcast.com/donate. Tell your friends about Fruitbowl, rate us on your podcast platform or write a review on Apple Podcast. Every little bit helps. https://linktr.ee/fruitbowlpod Fruitbowl’s fruit artwork for Season 5 was created by Nathan Richards. IG: @Paperwombat.

For queer people, our sexuality is not something that just switches on one day. It reveals itself over time - usually during adolescence - and the experience is often internal and private. Our first explorations into physical intimacy with other people often serve as a kind of test to see if we like it and help us start to define the role that sex will play in our lives as adults. High school is “go time” for these explorations and life quickly becomes a steaming stew of hormones, insecurities and hurt feelings. These first experimentations with friends or acquaintances and people that we know happen to many of us, yet we rarely share these stories with each other as adults. In this first of four episodes dedicated to first times, Dave collects stories from thirteen different interviewees whose first time was with people they already knew.  Next up will be another high school episode followed by one about internet hookups and a fourth “first time” episode that collects stories about old-school “cruising.”  So prepare yourself because things are going to get … awkward. Here’s a list of excerpts featured in this episode along with a link to their full length episode. Section 1: AFAB First Times. Ji (S2E5) First PIV; Isabella (S2E9) German Boyfriend, Sleepovers With Open Door; Lizzie (S4E13) First Time Boring Boyfriend, First Time Gym Girl.  Section 2: Cis Guys High School Flame Outs. Jason (S1E1) Friends with Benefits; Drew (S4E4) Horniness Wins; Zachery (S4E16) Owning It; Puddin (S4E9) Just the One Time. Section 3: First times with different bodies. RC (S2E8) Best Friend’s Girlfriend Fix Up, Home Alone Bunk Bed; Elliott (S3E11) Exploring both Male and Female bodies.  Section 4: Alan (S3E2) The Secret Fort. Listener discretion advised. Section 5: Sex in the Wild. Jerusha (S2E1) The Handicap Stall; Anders (S2E6) Home-Coming in the Pool; Pete (S1E13) Steamy Car Threeway in the Parking Lot. This episode was edited and hosted by Dave Quantic, the creator of Fruitbowl.  Ryan Weadon did the music editing and final mix. Thanks Ryan! Fruitbowl is produced independently without corporate media infrastructure or full time staff. Every interview is recorded in-person, on location in each interviewee’s home and production expenses including travel, accommodations, equipment rental are paid for out of pocket by Dave Quantic, FRUITBOWL’s creator.  The only consistent financial support comes from Fruitbowl’s Patreon community. A minimum $5 monthly donation allows patrons early access to episodes, behind the scenes updates and Salad Tosser tier patrons ($10/mo.) receive access to exclusive video content that is not available to the general public. Learn more about how to become a patron at: https://www.fruitbowlpodcast.com/donate Larger donations and underwriting/sponsorship fees are 100% tax deductible through a partnership with Northwest Film Forum’s fiscal sponsorship program.  FRUITBOWL RECEIVES NO DIRECT FUNDING FROM NWFF, only the use of their non-profit status to receive tax deductible donations. For more information check out: https://www.fruitbowlpodcast.com/donate Tell your friends about Fruitbowl, rate us on your podcast platform or write a review on Apple Podcast. Every little bit helps. https://linktr.ee/fruitbowlpod  Fruitbowl’s fruit artwork for Season 5 was created by Nathan Richards of IG: @Paperwombat.

Listen on Apple Podcasts  Listen on Spotify. Who was your first crush? That first intense infatuation with someone special? A famous actor? A singer? An Athlete? Or was it someone you knew like another student at your school, a hot neighbor or a teacher who gave you extra attention? Whoever it was, first crushes are often the first indication that we have queer tendencies. This can be validating but also a little scary. In case you’re a size queen and want an extra long version of this episode, our Patreon subscribers will get exclusive access to the UNCUT version of this episode that is 30 minutes longer and includes every single response to Dave’s questions about crushes. Learn more at Fruitbowlpodcast.com/donate. Dave did not include each person’s personal introductions in this episode, but here is a list with links to their full length episodes in case you want to learn more.   So sit back and enjoy this Crush Parade! Cold Open; Anders (S2E6) Robin Hood & Maid Marion; Jerry (S1E4) Dukes of Hazard; Lee (S1E4) Fat Camp Love. Section 1: Fictional Characters; Justin (S4E1) Superhero Nipples and Bulges; Isabella (S2E9) Tommy the Green Power Ranger; Mike (S3E19) Tommy & Chris O’Donnell. Section 2: Famous People; Carlos (S1E2) Peter Lupus; Aditya (S2E2) Tom Selleck; Breona (S4E18) Jonathan Taylor Thomas; RC (S2E8) Buffy; Karilla (S3E15) Sarah Michelle Gellar; Dan (S3E16) - Mary Stewart Masterson; Sam (S1E1) Leo and Johnny; Ari (S4E3) Mariah. Section 3: Personal Crushes; Alan (S3E2) The Boy With the Earring; Ji (S2E5) Playing Hercules; Karilla (S3E15) Hot for Teacher; Debra (S4E8) Flute Girl; Dave (S4E15) Son of a Preacher Man; Saira (S3E21) Surprise Pansexuality; Nathan S. (S3E13) Quarterback Fantasies; Donovan (S3E18) The Dork. Section 4: Coworkers, Acquaintances; Debra (S4E8) Beth’s Abortion; Tyler (S1E6) McDonald’s Manager. This episode was edited by Dave Quantic, the creator of Fruitbowl.  Hosted by Ryan Weadon who also did the music editing and final mix. Thanks Ryan! Fruitbowl is produced independently without corporate media infrastructure or full time staff. Every interview is recorded in-person, on location in each interviewee’s home and production expenses including travel, accommodations, equipment rental are paid for out of pocket by Dave Quantic, FRUITBOWL’s creator.  The only consistent financial support comes from Fruitbowl’s Patreon community. A minimum $5 monthly donation allows patrons early access to episodes, behind the scenes updates and Salad Tosser tier patrons ($10/mo.) receive access to exclusive video content that is not available to the general public. Learn more about how to become a patron at: https://www.fruitbowlpodcast.com/donate Larger donations and underwriting/sponsorship fees are 100% tax deductible through a partnership with Northwest Film Forum’s fiscal sponsorship program.  FRUITBOWL RECEIVES NO DIRECT FUNDING FROM NWFF, only the use of their non-profit status to receive tax deductible donations. For more information check out: https://www.fruitbowlpodcast.com/donate Tell your friends about Fruitbowl, rate us on your podcast platform or write a review on Apple Podcast. Every little bit helps. And, of course you can also follow us, for now, on Instagram and Tik Tok at fruitbowlpodcast. Fruitbowl’s fruit artwork for Season 5 was created by Nathan Richards of Paperwombat. The artwork for this episode was created by Alegra Figeroid.

Help support independent queer media. Get exclusive access to an UNCUT version of this episode with more than 30 extra minutes of stories by joining Fruitbowl’s Patreon community. Learn more at fruitbowlpodcast.com/donate Listen on Apple Podcasts  Listen on Spotify. Note: the descriptions of this episode were altered to avoid censorship by the major podcast platforms. America’s puritanical roots are never more exposed than they are when the subject of "self-love" is discussed or, more often, avoided by schools and parents. Some religions explicitly discourage it. But when it comes to our coming of age years, coming is often top of mind and a favored topic in the backs of school buses, online chats and locker rooms.   "Self-love" is an intensely personal experience that can often reveal our sexual preferences producing euphoria as well as deep personal shame.  This episode features stories about "self-love" and the stew of emotions it often conjures up as well as some awkward social situations. Here's a list of the interviewees whose stories are featured along with links to their original, full interviews. Cold Open: Sam (S1E1) School yard talk.  Section 1: "Self-love" as experienced by AFAB interviewees (Assigned Female at Birth). Anders (S2E6), Elliott (S3E11), Isabella (S2E9), Ji (S2E5). Check out my short film, MORE THAN A FEELING. https://vimeo.com/790585520 Section 2: Furry Innovations. Dan (S3E16) Homemade female anatomy; Karilla (S3E15) CD Rack Love. Section 3: Stuffed Animal Lovin’. Andrew (S4E11) My Little Buddy; RC (S2E8) Teddy Bear. Section 4: Swimming Pool Jets. Breona (S4E18) Like a little starfish. Section 5: With a Little Help From Friends. Mike B. (S4E10) Friendly Circle. Section 6: Puddin’s Cousin. Puddin (S4E9).Section 7: "Self-love" and self-discovery. Adam (S2E3) Bullying, self-acceptance and self-love; Adam T. (S3E20) sometimes the journey is better than the destination. This episode was edited by Dave Quantic, the creator of Fruitbowl.  Music editing and final mix by Ryan Weadon. Fruitbowl is produced independently without corporate media infrastructure or full time staff. Every interview is recorded in-person, on location in each interviewee’s home and production expenses including travel, accommodations, equipment rental are paid for out of pocket by Dave Quantic, FRUITBOWL’s creator.  The only consistent financial support comes from Fruitbowl’s Patreon community. A minimum $5 monthly donation allows patrons early access to episodes, behind the scenes updates and Salad Tosser tier patrons ($10/mo.) receive access to exclusive video content that is not available to the general public. Learn more about how to become a patron at: https://www.fruitbowlpodcast.com/donate Larger donations and underwriting/sponsorship fees are 100% tax deductible through a partnership with Northwest Film Forum’s fiscal sponsorship program.  FRUITBOWL RECEIVES NO DIRECT FUNDING FROM NWFF, only the use of their non-profit status to receive tax deductible donations. For more information check out: https://www.fruitbowlpodcast.com/donate Tell your friends about Fruitbowl, rate us on your podcast platform or write a review on Apple Podcast. Every little bit helps. And, of course you can also follow us, for now, on Instagram and Tik Tok at fruitbowlpodcast. Fruitbowl’s fruit artwork for Season 5 was created by Nathan Richards of Paperwombat. The artwork for this episode was created by Alegra Figeroid.

Patreon members get exclusive access to an UNCUT version of this episode with 20 extra minutes of stories. Learn more at fruitbowlpodcast.com/donate Listen on Apple Podcasts  Listen on Spotify. Many of us grew up in families and communities that never once acknowledged the existence of queer people: no exposure to queer authors, filmmakers, artists. Pornography is often the first media we see that acknowledges queer sexuality. In this episode, you will hear stories of pornography found under rocks, in dumpsters, behind medicine cabinets. Grainy, distorted porn that emerged from scrambled cable channels. Porn that validated feelings that may have been impossible to articulate. Porn that provided a starting point to begin deciding what turns us on and what doesn’t. Here’s a list of the excerpts featured in this episode with links to the original, full length episodes: Section 1: The Porn Is Coming From Inside The House. Jason (S1E1) Dad’s Secret Porn Stash; Lee (S1E4) Medicine Cabinet Secrets; Section 2: Finding Porn. Alex (S3E10) Under A Rock; Adam T. (S3E20) Toni Braxton Did That?; Section 3: Erotic “Literature.” Kenny (S4E6) Michael & Michelle; Lilian (S4E5) Sexy Sci-Fi; Salvador (S3E6) Lingonberries; Section 4: Porn Theaters. Nayland (S2E4) Times Square Memories; Section 5: VHS Home Porn. James (S1E2) Daisy Chain Pool Party; Joshua (S2E7) Breaking & Entering; RC (S2E8) Amazon Girls of Go Go; Isabella (S2E9) High School Porn Vendor; Mikey (S1E10) Catholic School 8th Grade Grad Porn Party; Jerry (S1E4) Scrambled Grainy Porn Viewing; Jaelynn (S1E5) Emanuelle; Salvador (S3E6) Vegas Viewing. Section 6: The Internet Revolution. Sam (S1E1) Family Computer = No Privacy; Ryan (S1E11) Sex Can Be Anything; Aditya (S2E2) School Computer Porn; Breona (S4E18) Blame Little Brother; Gabe (S1E8) Three Strikes; Nathan S. (S3E13) Beware of White House Porn; Mike (S3E19) Finding Sister’s View History. This episode was edited & mixed by Dave Quantic, the creator of Fruitbowl.  Fruitbowl is produced independently without corporate media infrastructure or full time staff. Every interview is recorded in-person, on location in each interviewee’s home and production expenses including travel, accommodations, equipment rental are paid for out of pocket by Dave Quantic, FRUITBOWL’s creator.  The only consistent financial support comes from Fruitbowl’s Patreon community. A minimum $5 monthly donation allows patrons early access to episodes, behind the scenes updates and Salad Tosser tier patrons ($10/mo.) receive access to exclusive video content that is not available to the general public. Learn more about how to become a patron at: https://www.fruitbowlpodcast.com/donate Larger donations and underwriting/sponsorship fees are 100% tax deductible through a partnership with Northwest Film Forum’s fiscal sponsorship program.  FRUITBOWL RECEIVES NO DIRECT FUNDING FROM NWFF, only the use of their non-profit status to receive tax deductible donations. For more information check out: https://www.fruitbowlpodcast.com/donate Tell your friends about Fruitbowl, rate us on your podcast platform or write a review on Apple Podcast. Every little bit helps. And, of course you can also follow us, for now, on Instagram and Tik Tok at fruitbowlpodcast. Fruitbowl’s fruit artwork for Season 5 was created by Nathan Richards of Paperwombat.

Listen on Apple Podcasts  Listen on Spotify. Now we’re getting down to the nitty gritty. For this first episode we’re going back to the beginning of our coming of age when we had no clue what sex was or what it even meant. Maybe we heard about it from our parents, our friends or maybe we even went to a library. Many of us got the wrong information or maybe it just didn’t make sense but whatever we learned we definitely wanted to know more. Here’s a list of contributors for this episode along with links to their individual episodes. Section 1: Parental Explanations. Joshua G. (S2E7) Disgusted by sex; Puddin (S4E9) Fish sex; Andre (S3E17) Ponytail between legs; Salvador (S3E6) A logical parental explanation; Nathan (S3E14) Cool Mom. Section 2: The Failure of Family pt.1. Elliott (S3E11) Sibling abuse; Section 3: Book Learning. Ji (S2E5) Orange County education; Lee (S1E4) OMG, gametes; Lilian (S4E5) Parents leave book behind; The Cartoon Hippie Sex Book. Breona (S4E18), Sam (S1E1), Patrick (S3E12). Section 4: Our Parents Porn. Paul (S3E5) Bowling Alley Cruising; Nayland (S2E4) Sex adjacent household; Andrew (S4E11) Mom’s Erotic Art textbook; Section 5: School Yard Talk. Ji (S2E5) Moaning Sounds; Patrick (S3E12) Pennies and Vaginas; Jaelynn (S1E5) Barbershop talk; Pete (S1E13) What’s a BJ?; Karilla (S3E15) Debunking myths; Lilian (S4E5) Drawings in the dirt; Josh (S3E1) Prudish about sex; Section 5: The Failure of Family pt.2. Deaunte (S3E3) Babysitter violation. Section 6: School Mis-Education. Lizzie (S4E13) Seattle Catholic School; Anders (S2E6) Periods are still a thing?; Nathan S. (S3E13) Permission Slips; Isabella (S2E9) Dental dams; Saira (S3E21) A strange, cruel sex ed teacher; Andre (S3E17) Imaginary Boyfriend Lowell; Drew (S4E4) Priest Sex Talk. Section 7: Pop Culture Sex Ed. Drew (S4E4) Look Who’s Talking Sex; Mikey (S1E10) Golden Girls Sex Ed; Lee (S1E4) Prison Sex on Oz; Ji (S2E5) Sex with Sue Johanson; Titanic Sex: Jerusha (S2E1), Zachery (S4E16), Nathan S. (S3E13). This episode was edited and mixed by Dave Quantic, the creator of Fruitbowl.  Ryan Weadon was the music editor. Fruitbowl is produced independently without corporate media infrastructure or full time staff. Every interview is recorded in-person, on location in each interviewee’s home and production expenses including travel, accommodations, equipment rental are paid for out of pocket by Dave Quantic, FRUITBOWL’s creator.  The only consistent financial support comes from Fruitbowl’s Patreon community. A minimum $5 monthly donation allows patrons early access to episodes, behind the scenes updates and Salad Tosser tier patrons ($10/mo.) receive access to exclusive video content that is not available to the general public. Learn more about how to become a patron at: https://www.fruitbowlpodcast.com/donate Larger donations and underwriting/sponsorship fees are 100% tax deductible through a partnership with Northwest Film Forum’s fiscal sponsorship program.  FRUITBOWL RECEIVES NO DIRECT FUNDING FROM NWFF, only the use of their non-profit status to receive tax deductible donations. For more information check out: https://www.fruitbowlpodcast.com/donate Tell your friends about Fruitbowl, rate us on your podcast platform or write a review on Apple Podcast. Every little bit helps. And, of course you can also follow us, for now, on Instagram and Tik Tok at fruitbowlpodcast. Fruitbowl’s fruit artwork for Season 5 was created by Nathan Richards of Paperwombat.

Femininity and queerness go hand in hand; that’s the conventional wisdom, anyway. So it follows that our mom’s should be supportive, non-judgmental, embracing of our idiosyncrasies and accepting of children who don’t conform to conventional expectations of gender. But it doesn’t always work out that way. In this episode, Dave introduces a collection of stories about moms who teach us, disappoint us and, occasionally, surprise us. Here’s a list of contributors for this episode in the order in which they are presented along with links to their full length episodes in the Fruitbowl archive: Jerry (S1E4) “Hairy chest Pilgrim”; Andrew (S4E11) “Do you want to go to the mall?”; Saira (S3E11) “What do you think a blowjob is?”; Karilla (S3E3) “Just read a book or something.”; DeAunte (S3E3) “Shout out to my Aunties.”; Justin (S4E1) “A family of matriarchs.”; Andre (S3E17) “Kid, you’re a pussy.”; Steven (S4E14) “Hippie Mom.”; Ari (S4E3) “Crying in the desert.” ; Paul (S3E5) “Telling mom everything.”; Nathan (S3E4) “Queer Aunt, Uncle & A Cool Mom.”; Jerusha (S2E1) “A Grandmother who fought AIDS.”; Kenny (S4E6) “Kicked out by mom.”; Breona (S4E18) “A sweet and fierce mom.” This episode was edited by Dave Quantic, the creator of Fruitbowl.  Ryan Weadon was the music editor and final mixer. Fruitbowl is produced independently without corporate media infrastructure or full time staff. Every interview is recorded in-person, on location in each interviewee’s home and production expenses including travel, accommodations, equipment rental are paid for out of pocket by Dave Quantic, FRUITBOWL’s creator.  The only consistent financial support comes from Fruitbowl’s Patreon community. A minimum $5 monthly donation allows patrons early access to episodes, behind the scenes updates and Salad Tosser tier patrons ($10/mo.) receive access to exclusive video content that is not available to the general public. Learn more about how to become a patron at: https://www.fruitbowlpodcast.com/donate Larger donations and underwriting/sponsorship fees are 100% tax deductible through a partnership with Northwest Film Forum’s fiscal sponsorship program.  FRUITBOWL RECEIVES NO DIRECT FUNDING FROM NWFF, only the use of their non-profit status to receive tax deductible donations. For more information check out: https://www.fruitbowlpodcast.com/donate Tell your friends about Fruitbowl, rate us on your podcast platform or write a review on Apple Podcast. Every little bit helps. And, of course you can also follow us, for now, on Instagram and Tik Tok at fruitbowlpodcast. Fruitbowl’s fruit artwork for Season 5 was created by Nathan Richards of Paperwombat.

There are as many cliches about fatherhood as there are about queer people. Dads are little league coaches, the leaders of prayers, the final word in family debates, trusted voices of wisdom who guide their children through adolescence and prepare them for adulthood. Join Dave as he introduces a chorus of queers who describe their complex relationships with their fathers and what their patriarchs did (or didn’t do) when they found themselves in charge of kids who drew outside the lines of the typical heteronormative behavior. Here’s a list of contributors for this episode in the order in which they are presented along with links to their full length episodes in the Fruitbowl archive: Tyler - S1E6; Deaunte - S3E3; Shavit - S3E8; Tai - S3E7; Jason - S1E1; Adam T. - S3E20; Paul - S3E5; Adé - S2E11; Carlos - S1E2; Stephen - S2E10; Alan - S3E2; Nathan S. - S3E13; Zachery - S4E16. This episode was edited and mixed by Dave Quantic, the creator of Fruitbowl. Fruitbowl is produced independently without corporate media infrastructure or full time staff. Every interview is recorded in-person, on location in each interviewee’s home and production expenses including travel, accommodations, equipment rental are paid for out of pocket by Dave Quantic, FRUITBOWL’s creator. The only consistent financial support comes from Fruitbowl’s Patreon community. A minimum $5 monthly donation allows patrons early access to episodes, behind the scenes updates and Salad Tosser tier patrons ($10/mo.) receive access to exclusive video content that is not available to the general public. Learn more about how to become a patron at: https://www.fruitbowlpodcast.com/donate Larger donations and underwriting/sponsorship fees are 100% tax deductible through a partnership with Northwest Film Forum’s fiscal sponsorship program. FRUITBOWL RECEIVES NO DIRECT FUNDING FROM NWFF, only the use of their non-profit status to receive tax deductible donations. For more information check out: https://www.fruitbowlpodcast.com/donate Tell your friends about Fruitbowl, rate us on your podcast platform or write a review on Apple Podcast. Every little bit helps. And, of course you can also follow us, for now, on Instagram and Tik Tok at fruitbowlpodcast. Fruitbowl’s fruit artwork for Season 5 was created by Nathan Richards of Paperwombat.