Clemenz With a ”Z” Podcast

Every generation inherits something from the one before it, wisdom that helped people survive and wounds that shaped how they saw the world. In this episode, I reflect on a quote from philosopher John Dewey: “If we teach today’s students as we taught yesterday’s, we rob them of tomorrow.” What begins as a thought about education opens into a deeper conversation about parenting, faith, and personal healing. How do we honor the past without letting it dictate the future? And how do we make sure our wounds don’t quietly become the worldview we pass on to others? This episode explores the tension between learning from yesterday and leaving space for tomorrow. If something in this conversation resonated with you, I’d love to hear from you. You can email me at clemenzwithaz@gmail.com, or send me a DM over on Instagram at @clemenzwithazpodcast. If you want to support the podcast financially, you can head over to ClemenzWithAZ.com, there’s a merch store there with shirts, stickers, all kinds of stuff. You can also donate directly through the GoFundMe, the link’s in the show notes. Every bit goes a long way in helping me keep these conversations going. And if you’re looking for something a little more regular, check out my Substack: Devotions for the Disillusioned & Deconstructing. That’s where I share short reflections, devotionals, and some extra behind-the-scenes thoughts that don’t always make it onto the podcast. And of course, the best way you can support the show is by subscribing, rating, and leaving a review wherever you listen to podcasts. Share it with a friend, post it on your socials, drop it in a group chat, it all helps more than you know. This podcast keeps going because of listeners like you showing up, engaging, and passing it on. So thank you for being here, for listening, and for being part of this messy middle with me. Until next time, take care of yourselves, and each other.

In this episode on Clemenz With a "Z", I reflect on the doctrine of original sin and the story we tell children about who they are at their core. Beginning with a quote from the book "Original Sin Is a Lie" and moving through Genesis, Romans 7, and even a scene from Harry Potter, I am wrestling with the difference between capacity and essence between being capable of harm and being defined by it.  Reflecting on my own childhood and the experience of watching my kid instinctively show generosity, I am ask whether starting with shame shapes a different nervous system than starting with dignity. This isn’t an attempt to burn anything down, but an invitation to widen the space and reconsider the foundation we build on. If something in this conversation resonated with you, I’d love to hear from you. You can email me at clemenzwithaz@gmail.com, or send me a DM over on Instagram at @clemenzwithazpodcast. If you want to support the podcast financially, you can head over to ClemenzWithAZ.com, there’s a merch store there with shirts, stickers, all kinds of stuff. You can also donate directly through the GoFundMe, the link’s in the show notes. Every bit goes a long way in helping me keep these conversations going. And if you’re looking for something a little more regular, check out my Substack: Devotions for the Disillusioned & Deconstructing. That’s where I share short reflections, devotionals, and some extra behind-the-scenes thoughts that don’t always make it onto the podcast. And of course, the best way you can support the show is by subscribing, rating, and leaving a review wherever you listen to podcasts. Share it with a friend, post it on your socials, drop it in a group chat, it all helps more than you know. This podcast keeps going because of listeners like you showing up, engaging, and passing it on. So thank you for being here, for listening, and for being part of this messy middle with me. Until next time, take care of yourselves, and each other.

In this episode, Higher Ways?, I wrestle with a question that’s been quietly sitting with me for a long time: What if some of what we call “deep theology” is simply human logic dressed up as divine wisdom? From heaven and hell to reward and punishment, from obedience to atonement, I explore the framework many of us inherited and ask whether love really needs a threat to function. Drawing from my own experience in a high-control church environment and revisiting the teachings of Jesus with fresh eyes, this isn’t an attempt to tear faith down, it’s a thoughtful dismantling meant to clear space. Space for a version of faith less rooted in fear and more grounded in restoration, honesty, and love that doesn’t keep score. If something in this conversation resonated with you, I’d love to hear from you. You can email me at clemenzwithaz@gmail.com, or send me a DM over on Instagram at @clemenzwithazpodcast. If you want to support the podcast financially, you can head over to ClemenzWithAZ.com, there’s a merch store there with shirts, stickers, all kinds of stuff. You can also donate directly through the GoFundMe, the link’s in the show notes. Every bit goes a long way in helping me keep these conversations going. And if you’re looking for something a little more regular, check out my Substack: Devotions for the Disillusioned & Deconstructing. That’s where I share short reflections, devotionals, and some extra behind-the-scenes thoughts that don’t always make it onto the podcast. And of course, the best way you can support the show is by subscribing, rating, and leaving a review wherever you listen to podcasts. Share it with a friend, post it on your socials, drop it in a group chat, it all helps more than you know. This podcast keeps going because of listeners like you showing up, engaging, and passing it on. So thank you for being here, for listening, and for being part of this messy middle with me. Until next time, take care of yourselves, and each other.

In this episode of Clemenz With a “Z,” I reflect on what happens on the other side of healing. We talk a lot about wounds and unraveling, about leaving and deconstructing, about anger and survival. But what about integration? What about the quiet phase where you’re no longer bleeding yet you’re not who you used to be either? Through the metaphor of physical scars and the unseen marks we carry in our minds and nervous systems, this episode explores the idea that healing doesn’t erase the mark, it transforms it. If you’ve ever wondered why certain words still make your chest tighten, or why tenderness lingers even after growth, this conversation is for you. Scars don’t shout. They hum. And that hum might just be wisdom. If anything in this episode resonated with you and you would like to reach out to me you can drop me a line at clemenzwithaz@gmail.com or drop a DM at the clemenz with a "Z" instagram page.   You can head over to https://gofund.me/7ebb0524 every bit helps. And if you’re looking for more reflection, honesty, and spiritual wrestling, check out my Substack: Devotions for the Deconstructing & Disillusioned, it’s a space for people who still have soul, but no longer fit in the boxes they were handed. Thanks for being here.

On this episode of Clemenz With a “Z,” I’m stepping outside my usual conversations about church and control and into something that’s been quietly sitting with me for years: the way we define success for our kids. Every June, neighborhoods fill with yard signs celebrating college commitments, and I can’t help but ask, where are the yard signs for future carpenters? In this episode, I reflect on my own high school experience with “two tracks,” the subtle tone that labeled one path as less than, what I saw later as a teacher, and why all of this ultimately comes down to purpose. Drawing on Viktor Frankl and even a surprising moment from Home Improvement, this conversation isn’t anti-college, it’s about dignity, meaning, and making room for every kind of intelligence. Because not every boy wants to build… but every boy deserves a world that believes he could. If anything in this episode resonated with you and you would like to reach out to me you can drop me a line at clemenzwithaz@gmail.com or drop a DM at the clemenz with a "Z" instagram page.   You can head over to https://gofund.me/7ebb0524 every bit helps. And if you’re looking for more reflection, honesty, and spiritual wrestling, check out my Substack: Devotions for the Deconstructing & Disillusioned, it’s a space for people who still have soul, but no longer fit in the boxes they were handed. Thanks for being here.

In this episode of We Were In a Cult?, I sit down with Stef, a fellow “Kingdom kid” who grew up inside the ICOC to explore what it was like to be born into a system where church wasn’t just something you attended, but the entire framework for how you understood God, authority, obedience, and belonging. This conversation isn’t about sensationalism or tearing people down. It’s about memory. It’s about untangling fear from faith. It’s about what happens when reverence and anxiety get braided together in childhood and what it takes, as adults, to slowly learn how to trust our own voices again. Whether you were part of the ICOC, the ICC, another high-control church environment, or you’re simply curious about what that world felt like from the inside, this episode is an honest window into that experience. If you are a member, were a member, or know someone who was a member of the ICOC or ICC and would like to share your story about life in and out of the church, I’d love to hear from you. Together, we can continue exploring the question, “We were in a cult?” and perhaps find some healing along the way. You can reach me via email at clemenzwithaz@gmail.com, or send me a DM on Instagram at the Clemenz With a Z podcast page. If you want to support the podcast financially, you can head over to ClemenzWithAZ.com, there’s a merch store there with shirts, stickers, all kinds of stuff. You can also donate directly through the GoFundMe, the link’s in the show notes. Every bit goes a long way in helping me keep these conversations going. And if you’re looking for something a little more regular, check out my Substack: Devotions for the Disillusioned & Deconstructing. That’s where I share short reflections, devotionals, and some extra behind-the-scenes thoughts that don’t always make it onto the podcast. And of course, the best way you can support the show is by subscribing, rating, and leaving a review wherever you listen to podcasts. Share it with a friend, post it on your socials, drop it in a group chat, it all helps more than you know. This podcast keeps going because of listeners like you showing up, engaging, and passing it on. So thank you for being here, for listening, and for being part of this messy middle with me. Until next time, take care of yourselves, and each other.

What does it mean to grow up inside something that calls itself the Kingdom of God? In this episode, I reflect on what it was like to be a “Kingdom kid” born into the International Churches of Christ, shaped by its language, boundaries, fears, and promises from my earliest memories. This isn’t a takedown. It’s an honest look at safety, identity, fear of being “out,” and the long process of learning to trust myself again after realizing the place that formed me wasn’t what I thought it was. If you grew up in a high-control church environment or if you’ve ever had to untangle your identity from the system that raised you, this conversation is for you. We weren’t crazy. We were kids. If something in this conversation resonated with you especially if you were part of the ICOC, or you were what we called a “Kingdom kid” I’d really love to hear from you. Tell me where you’re at. Tell me how you’re healing. Tell me what this journey has looked like for you. You can email me at clemenzwithaz@gmail.com, or send me a DM over on Instagram at @clemenzwithazpodcast. And if you’d ever want to share your story more publicly maybe as part of the "We Were in a Cult?" series here on the podcast let’s talk. These stories matter. And I think there’s a lot of us still untangling what this all meant. If you want to support the podcast financially, you can head over to ClemenzWithAZ.com, there’s a merch store there with shirts, stickers, all kinds of stuff. You can also donate directly through the GoFundMe, the link’s in the show notes. Every bit goes a long way in helping me keep these conversations going. And if you’re looking for something a little more regular, check out my Substack: Devotions for the Disillusioned & Deconstructing. That’s where I share short reflections, devotionals, and some extra behind-the-scenes thoughts that don’t always make it onto the podcast. And of course, the best way you can support the show is by subscribing, rating, and leaving a review wherever you listen to podcasts. Share it with a friend, post it on your socials, drop it in a group chat, it all helps more than you know. This podcast keeps going because of listeners like you showing up, engaging, and passing it on. So thank you for being here, for listening, and for being part of this messy middle with me. We weren’t crazy. We were kids. Until next time—take care of yourselves, and each other.

In this episode, I wrestle with a claim I’ve been seeing more and more in Christian spaces: that “gentle parenting” is not the same as “godly parenting” and that starting from empathy or believing kids are inherently good is somehow dangerous or unbiblical. Instead of turning this into another parenting culture war, I slow the conversation down. I explore what gentle parenting actually is, what people mean when they talk about godly or gospel-centered parenting, and why these two ideas keep getting pitted against each other. Drawing from my own experience as a parent, a former teacher, and someone shaped by fear-based faith, I push back on the either/or mindset and make the case for a more honest, relational approach to raising kids, one rooted in love, empathy, consistency, boundaries, and the humility to admit we’re all still learning as we go. If anything in this episode resonated with you and you would like to reach out to me you can drop me a line at clemenzwithaz@gmail.com or drop a DM at the clemenz with a "Z" instagram page.   You can head over to https://gofund.me/7ebb0524 every bit helps. And if you’re looking for more reflection, honesty, and spiritual wrestling, check out my Substack: Devotions for the Deconstructing & Disillusioned, it’s a space for people who still have soul, but no longer fit in the boxes they were handed. Thanks for being here.

What's up y'all! In this episode, I explore the growing tendency within evangelical church culture to confuse critique with persecution and why that confusion can be so damaging. This conversation grew out of a recent church experience, a sermon that reframed fear as rebellion, and my own attempt to engage in private, thoughtful dialogue that never quite materialized. Drawing from personal experience, theology, and lived impact, I reflect on what happens when churches prioritize defensiveness over listening, certainty over curiosity, and ego over humility. This isn’t an attack on the church, but an honest examination of how faith communities can lose their capacity for dialogue, and why reclaiming that capacity matters for real healing, growth, and care. If you would like to reach out to me you can drop me a line at clemenzwithaz@gmail.com or drop a DM at the clemenz with a "Z" instagram page.   You can head over to https://gofund.me/7ebb0524 every bit helps. And if you’re looking for more reflection, honesty, and spiritual wrestling, check out my Substack: Devotions for the Deconstructing & Disillusioned, it’s a space for people who still have soul, but no longer fit in the boxes they were handed. Thanks for being here.

In this episode of Clemenz With a “Z,” I’m not talking about co-sleeping or parenting techniques as much as I’m talking about access:  who gets it, when, and what we teach our kids about belonging long before they have words for it. Sparked by two very confident but completely opposite Christian takes on kids sleeping in the bed, this episode moves past certainty and into something more human: fear at 2 a.m., Hot Wheels offered as currency for closeness, the exhaustion of real parenting, and the quiet ways children learn whether love is conditional or not. Hot Wheels at 2 A.M. is a reflection on presence before principle, discernment over formulas, and what it means to raise kids and build families without outsourcing our humanity. If you would like to reach out to me you can drop me a line at clemenzwithaz@gmail.com or drop a DM at the clemenz with a "Z" instagram page.   You can head over to https://gofund.me/7ebb0524 every bit helps. And if you’re looking for more reflection, honesty, and spiritual wrestling, check out my Substack: Devotions for the Deconstructing & Disillusioned, it’s a space for people who still have soul, but no longer fit in the boxes they were handed. Thanks for being here.

Lately, I’ve been struck by how many of our religious conversations seem to turn into debates that leave us more divided, more entrenched, and more certain, but not more understanding. In this episode, I explore the idea that the problem might not be our disagreements, but the questions we’ve been trained to ask in the first place. Looking at the way Jesus consistently redirected the conversations people wanted to have, this episode reflects on how faith has become more about camps and certainty than curiosity and connection and what might change if we learned to ask better questions instead. If you would like to reach out to me you can drop me a line at clemenzwithaz@gmail.com or drop a DM at the clemenz with a "Z" instagram page.   You can head over to https://gofund.me/7ebb0524 every bit helps. And if you’re looking for more reflection, honesty, and spiritual wrestling, check out my Substack: Devotions for the Deconstructing & Disillusioned, it’s a space for people who still have soul, but no longer fit in the boxes they were handed. Thanks for being here.

We live in a world of constant noise and increasingly, our churches mirror it. In this episode, I reflect on what happens when worship never pauses, when silence feels unwelcome, and when space is something we’re quick to fill. This isn’t a critique of music or emotion, but an exploration of why silence matters, in church and in everyday life. Drawing on personal experience and a poem that helped name what I was feeling, Let It Breathe is an invitation to notice how much noise we carry, and to consider what might heal, clarify, and return to us if we made a little more room for space. If you would like to reach out to me you can drop me a line at clemenzwithaz@gmail.com or drop a DM at the clemenz with a "Z" instagram page.   You can head over to https://gofund.me/7ebb0524 every bit helps. And if you’re looking for more reflection, honesty, and spiritual wrestling, check out my Substack: Devotions for the Deconstructing & Disillusioned, it’s a space for people who still have soul, but no longer fit in the boxes they were handed. Thanks for being here.

I'm Back! After an intentional pause, this episode is a return, a re-orientation, and an honest reflection on why this podcast exists and where it’s going. What began years ago as conversations about masculinity and fatherhood has grown alongside me into something deeper, a space to unlearn, feel, rethink what we were told, and become whole. This episode is about remembering the “why,” honoring the evolution, and inviting you into the next chapter of Clemenz With a "Z" wherever you find yourself in your own becoming. If you would like to reach out to me you can drop me a line at clemenzwithaz@gmail.com or drop a DM at the clemenz with a "Z" instagram page.   You can head over to https://gofund.me/7ebb0524 every bit helps. And if you’re looking for more reflection, honesty, and spiritual wrestling, check out my Substack: Devotions for the Deconstructing & Disillusioned, it’s a space for people who still have soul, but no longer fit in the boxes they were handed. Thanks for being here.

Sometimes the hardest seasons are the ones that make us. In this episode, I share a story I’ve never told publicly, the moment everything I’d worked for almost came undone during my student teaching. What started as a field trip turned into one of the most difficult and defining chapters of my life. Through betrayal, uncertainty, and months of fighting to graduate, I discovered something I didn’t know I had: the ability to stand up, to keep going, and to find strength in the middle of conflict. Drawing from A Million Miles in a Thousand Years and the timeless Hero’s Journey, this episode explores how our greatest struggles often become the very things that shape us, and how, as the comedian Katt Williams once said, that’s what every hero of every story has in common. If you would like to reach out to me you can drop me a line at clemenzwithaz@gmail.com or drop a DM at the clemenz with a "Z" instagram page.   You can head over to https://gofund.me/7ebb0524 every bit helps. And if you’re looking for more reflection, honesty, and spiritual wrestling, check out my Substack: Devotions for the Deconstructing & Disillusioned, it’s a space for people who still have soul, but no longer fit in the boxes they were handed. Thanks for being here.

We love verses like Jeremiah 29:11.  You know, the ones that promise a future and a hope. They’re comforting, clean, easy to print on a mug or a graduation card. But what happens when life doesn’t match the verse? When the “plan” falls apart and the promises feel hollow? In this episode, Coffee Mug Theology, I talk about how we’ve turned ancient words of exile and endurance into quick-fix slogans, and what gets lost in translation when we do. This one’s about loss, anger, meaning, and what it really means to find faith when the plan stops working. If you would like to reach out to me you can drop me a line at clemenzwithaz@gmail.com or drop a DM at the clemenz with a "Z" instagram page.   You can head over to https://gofund.me/7ebb0524 every bit helps. And if you’re looking for more reflection, honesty, and spiritual wrestling, check out my Substack: Devotions for the Deconstructing & Disillusioned, it’s a space for people who still have soul, but no longer fit in the boxes they were handed. Thanks for being here.

We grow up on stories that tell us life is about slaying the dragon and winning the prize. Disney fairytales, men’s groups, even church slogans repeat the same script: the battle is always “out there.” But Joseph Campbell flipped the story, reminding us that the real dragon is within, and the way forward isn’t conquest, it’s following your bliss. In this episode, I wrestle with what that actually means for men, fathers, and anyone trying to move beyond sea-level living. We’ll talk about shallow scripts, quiet desperation, and the deeper kind of dragon-slaying that leads not to prizes, but to presence, aliveness, and depth. If you would like to reach out to me you can drop me a line at clemenzwithaz@gmail.com or drop a DM at the clemenz with a "Z" instagram page.   You can head over to https://gofund.me/7ebb0524 every bit helps. And if you’re looking for more reflection, honesty, and spiritual wrestling, check out my Substack: Devotions for the Deconstructing & Disillusioned, it’s a space for people who still have soul, but no longer fit in the boxes they were handed. Thanks for being here.

In this episode, I step into the shadows with Marvel’s Thunderbolts, a story of misfits, scars, and the power of presence. From Sentry’s battle with the Void to Yelena’s moment of recognition, the film raises a question we all wrestle with: what do we do with the darkness inside of us? Some days we try to bury it, some days we stare right into it, and some days we need someone else to remind us we don’t have to face it alone. Along the way, I reflect on Robin Williams, both the roles he played and the quiet, compassionate ways he showed up for others in real life and on Jesus, who never rushed people out of their pain but entered it with them. Together, they remind us that empathy doesn’t mean fixing or rushing the darkness away. It means staying. It means naming the shadow without shame. And sometimes, it means discovering that our misfit-ness, our scars, and even our Voids might be the very places where healing begins. If you would like to reach out to me you can drop me a line at clemenzwithaz@gmail.com or drop a DM at the clemenz with a "Z" instagram page.   You can head over to https://gofund.me/7ebb0524 every bit helps. And if you’re looking for more reflection, honesty, and spiritual wrestling, check out my Substack: Devotionals for the Deconstructing & Disillusioned, it’s a space for people who still have soul, but no longer fit in the boxes they were handed. Thanks for being here.

What do you do when the world feels too heavy? When you're tired, discouraged, or just numb from the noise? If you're me… you watch America’s Got Talent Golden Buzzer moments on YouTube. And you cry. Every time. In this episode, I’m sharing a surprising ritual that’s become one of the most healing parts of my life. We’ll talk about how a talent show, yes, a talent show has become a space for emotional release, joy, defiant hope, and sacred connection. We’ll explore the deeper psychological and spiritual reasons why these moments hit so hard, why they make so many of us weep, and what they reveal about our deepest longings: to be seen, to be celebrated, and to belong. This episode is a love letter to awe. A confetti-covered sermon. And a reminder that joy is not weakness, it’s resistance. If you’ve ever cried during a viral audition clip, this one’s for you. If you would like to reach out to me you can drop me a line at clemenzwithaz@gmail.com or drop a DM at the clemenz with a "Z" instagram page.   You can head over to https://gofund.me/7ebb0524 every bit helps. And if you’re looking for more reflection, honesty, and spiritual wrestling, check out my Substack: Devotionals for the Deconstructing & Disillusioned, it’s a space for people who still have soul, but no longer fit in the boxes they were handed. Thanks for being here.

Sometimes a song finds you when you need it most. I had never heard Wrabel’s “The Village” until I stumbled across a dance group performing to it on Britain’s Got Talent. What started as a quick break from writing turned into something deeper, a mirror for the world we’re living in right now. The song, originally written for the trans community, echoed wider truths as I watched dancers of all different backgrounds embody it on stage. And it left me with a haunting thought I can’t shake: there’s something wrong with the village. In this episode, I sit with that lyric, wrestle with what it means for us today, and ask where we go from here. If this episode meant something to you, I’d love it if you’d take a second to like, subscribe, and leave a review, it really helps more people find the show. If you would like to reach out to me you can drop me a line at clemenzwithaz@gmail.com or drop a DM at the clemenz with a "Z" instagram page.   You can head over to https://gofund.me/7ebb0524 every bit helps. And if you’re looking for more reflection, honesty, and spiritual wrestling, check out my Substack: Devotionals for the Deconstructing & Disillusioned, it’s a space for people who still have soul, but no longer fit in the boxes they were handed. Thanks for being here.

This episode started as a response to something I heard on a Christian podcast about God’s discipline. The words weren’t new, I’ve heard the same script my whole life, but they brought back memories of how deeply this theology shaped me. Growing up, I learned to see every disappointment and setback as punishment, every “no” as God disciplining me. What really grabbed me, though, was how seamlessly the hosts moved from talking about God’s discipline to how they plan to spank their child, as if one naturally flowed into the other. That hit me hard, because I know the damage that both of those messages can cause. In this episode, I share why spanking doesn’t produce wisdom but only breeds domestication, what scripture actually means when it talks about “the rod,” and why a God of love can’t be confused with a God of fear. At the heart of it all is this question: what kind of legacy do we want to leave? One rooted in control, or one rooted in trust and love? If this episode meant something to you, I’d love it if you’d take a second to like, subscribe, and leave a review, it really helps more people find the show. If you would like to reach out to me you can drop me a line at clemenzwithaz@gmail.com or drop a DM at the clemenz with a "Z" instagram page.   You can head over to https://gofund.me/7ebb0524 every bit helps. And if you’re looking for more reflection, honesty, and spiritual wrestling, check out my Substack: Devotionals for the Deconstructing & Disillusioned, it’s a space for people who still have soul, but no longer fit in the boxes they were handed. Thanks for being here.