The Reality Check Podcast

You don’t have to choose between the journey and the destination.Most self-improvement and inner peace approaches lean hard in one direction, acceptance without growth, or growth without self-love. But real, sustainable, purpose-aligned change needs both. Inspired by Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), this short talk offers a simple framework for holding acceptance and improvement at the same time. What if you were able to love yourself whilst fixing yourself?Read the how to love yourself whilst fixing yourself blog post.Quick Links:Want to work with me? Book a 1:1 session.You are invited to join The Art Of Self-Connection Community.Grab a copy of one of my books.Help keep my meditations, live sessions, and resources freely available. Donate here.

'I closed my eyes to the beauty of the sea, shielding the fragile part of my soul that still believed in an untainted moment. As I walked away I couldn't help but feel...'In this episode share a story of healing and self-acceptance through poetry. Using the symbolism of water, nature, and floating, I’ll guide you inward, into the parts that learned to brace, shut down, and survive. You will leave hopeful for your own process of returning back to the self.Poems shared:EndlessCan’t Quite ExpressI FloatDear Little Part Of MeBeauty Of The SeaQuick Links:Want to work with me? Book a 1:1 session.You are invited to join The Art Of Self-Connection Community.Grab a copy of one of my books.Help keep my meditations, live sessions, and resources freely available. Donate here.

I recently returned from a men’s work retreat through the Island of Men: a transformative program designed to help men connect and heal.I left with two main takeaways.1: There is a tremendous male loneliness and meaning epidemic. Men feel alone and unsure of what they are doing, why they are doing it, and feel like they have no one to talk it through with.2: There is vulnerability within positivity and success.I was asked about my purpose and realized that I was already living it (a journey over destination kind of thing), and I chose to do an improve comedy workshop over the deep introspective darkness exploration and healing that I would usually explore.Why? Because doing so felt more expansive (scary) than not. I realized I am more than fine to share my pain and shadow, but not my light.This was revolutionary. I now realise that I need to explore and express all aspects of myself.Reminder: You are invited to join the December Self-Care challenge in the Art of Self-Connection community. Lets stay sane this festive season!

Usually around this time of year I talk about the pain that this time of year can bring: extra commitments, financial burden, overwhelm, and forced socialization.This year I am looking to actually make something positive come from the festive season, so I am inviting you to join in with a self care challenge.For the month of December, pick one small act of self-care you can do every day to stay grounded and regulated. Something that feels nourishing, simple, and doable.eg:- Music- Reading- Take a bath- Meditation- Nature walk- Exercise- Cup of tea- JournalingOr choose something you’ll cut back on this month to ease the pressure.When you’ve chosen your practice, join The Art Of Self-Connection Community (it’s free) and share what you will be working on and why.Lets stay sane this festive season!

Language is flawed, and it keeps us from touching the divine.Every time we try to communicate, we start with a felt sense (thoughts, emotions, sensations) and we’re forced to translate that into code. Words. Sounds. Symbols. Then we hope the signal survives the noise. That nothing gets lost through misunderstanding, projection, or the limits of whatever medium we’re using.And on the other side, the listener has to decode it all back into their own thoughts, emotions, and sensations.Which means we never really say exactly what we mean. We only ever say what someone else is able to hear.All knowledge, scientific, religious, spiritual, personal, is filtered through this imperfect system. Our minds shape it, distort it, give it meaning it never had. Even the texts we call sacred are interpreted through an imperfect interpreter.So the only real move is to step back from the words and feel what’s underneath. The raw experience. The connection between things. The truth before we try to pin it down.Every theory is just a model. A map. Never the thing itself. And the human condition is the same across traditions: infinite desire, finite resources, suffering, loss, growth, and everything we do to navigate the in-between.The moment we set a theory in stone, it stops being alive. It becomes dogma. And the second we read it, we filter it through our own biases anyway.Which means the real truth isn’t in the language.It’s in the experience the language is pointing toward.Links Mentioned:Join The Art Of Self-Connection community!

There’s a barrier between us.A barrier built from platforms and algorithms, each one acting as a simulacrum that promises connection and depth, but really only offers shallow engagement.Even this podcast is limited.It’s me talking, you listening. One-way, with little space to truly respond or connect.And that’s not enough for me anymore.I want to be able to add more value, more often, and do it better. I want to facilitate deeper experiences, and help connect you not just to yourself, but to one another… and to me.That’s why I’ve built The Art of Self-Connection community. A space for real conversations and genuine connection, both inward and outward, with people walking the same path.Because connection needs presence and that’s exactly what we’re building together.It’s free to join, and you’ll get instant access to courses, discussions, and a growing circle of people doing this work together.See you inside. 🌿Links Mentioned:Join The Art Of Self-Connection community!

The four principles of how to live in harmony to: move slowly, breathe deeply, and focus broadly, with compassion for all.In this short talk, I introduce these principles as a gentle form of guidance towards inner peace. When combined and embodied we they help us to begin to connect, both to our true self and to the world and all in it.I am using these principles as a kind of internal mantra, something I say to myself on repeat as a way to both pay attention to my present state (In this moment am I moving slowly, breathing deeply, and focusing broadly, with compassion?)In this way I am constantly checking myself and helping learn how to live in harmony.Links Mentioned:Explore 1:1  counseling, coaching & Intuitive Guidance sessions

When faced with extreme and overwhelming situations we do whatever we can to survive. Typically this involves one of four responses: fight, flight, freeze, and fawn. If this approach to stress works, we survive. Good in the moment, but often that survival comes at a cost. Unless we are able to appropriately process the event, both mentally, spiritually, physically, and socially, we may begin to generalize our fight, flight, freeze, and fawn response into a way to approach all aspects of life.This is not ideal because these survival mechanisms are not always appropriate for what is arising in the moment. But because it worked in the past, because it kept us alive, we default into using them again and again and again, even when they are now clearly maladaptive and causing more harm than good.This is where the Intuitive Guidance process comes in, it offers you an opportunity to identify how you are responding, heal old wounds, and reconnect with your true self.Links Mentioned:Intuitive Guidance For Self Healing (5 part audio course)Intuitive Guidance For Deep Healing (46 minute guided meditation)Book a 1:1 Intuitive Guidance session

It’s all too easy to let fear stop us from acting when it matters most. Not just in the big, cinematic moments of bravery, but in the small, everyday chances for connection and emotional release. There is a saying that goes, ‘fear is temporary, regret is forever,’ and it rings painfully true.In this short talk, I share four moments from my past that I regret, offered in the hope that they inspire you to take the actions you need, so you don’t carry unnecessary regrets of your own.Links Mentioned:Explore 1:1 counseling & coaching with me

Truth is beyond words alone. At best, language is a flawed code, an attempt to translate physical sensations, mental states, and spiritual experiences into something shareable. Yet in doing so, it often distorts what it tries to reveal. Whether through science, religion, or spirituality, we keep circling the same human experience, but each system claims its version as the only truth. All that we can hope to do is infuse our words with an energetic transfer to convey the meaning beyond the code.Words can guide us, but they can also trap us, locking us into categories that make us miss what’s really there. And so the question remains, how can a mere human ever hope to understand the words of God?Links Mentioned:Intuitive Guidance For Self Healing (5 part audio course)Explore 1:1 Counseling & Coaching with me

Intuitive Guidance is the process I am using to help 100’s of people each week to release trauma from the body. It holds to the premise that the body keeps the score. Simply put, what we don't or can't process (trauma) manifests over time as illness, injury, psychological blocks, and stress. The good news is that by turning our attention to the body, connecting to it, and allowing it to express, it will begin to release trauma from the body.In this episode I break down the Intuitive Guidance process and share some of the profound insights and releases that you can expect during a session:‘I saw my fear as a blinding sun, too bright to face, too vast to fully comprehend. At first, I was a single planet orbiting it, caught in its pull, repeating the cycle. Then I took a breath, and the vision expanded. I was no longer just that planet, but an entire universe. Countless stars, countless worlds, countless inner stories, each with their own cycles and connections. I left knowing I must honor the fear within me, without getting lost in the belief that it is all I am.’Links Mentioned:What is Intuitive Guidance (blog)Intuitive Guidance For Self Healing (5 part audio course)Intuitive Guidance For Deep Healing (46 minute guided meditation)Check out my Insight Timer Profile (for live events)Book a 1:1 Intuitive Guidance session

The art of manifestation gets a bad wrap, tied in the minds of most to questionable woo-woo ideas that seem fanciful at best. But manifestation is real, and the methods it works on are simple and obvious once explained and embraced.Simply put, we manifest what we focus on because we are primed to find and act on them.In this episode I share two tracks, the first is a talk titled ‘how manifestation really works’ and the second is a guided meditation called ‘powerful manifestation visualization’. These tracks, and 100’s more are available in the Ultimate Audio Collection. This can be accessed, along with video courses, and exclusive content as part of the members area. Check it out!

There comes a time when we know we need to act, but nonetheless find ourselves blocked by fear, or inertia, or confusion, or some other unnamable emotion. It is then when we must take a leap of faith - despite the possibility that we may fail. In this episode I discuss how I have taken a leap of faith and offer guidance on how you can do the same. If you are struggling to do what you know you must, this one is for you!Click here to find out more about my 1:1 coaching & counselling sessions.

In today’s session I share with you a guided meditation that weaves together mindfulness, breathwork, healing visualization, and mantra, inviting you to soften, slow down, and reconnect to the self and the moment. You can follow each cue or simply sit and listen. This space is here for you. Let the words, breath, and stillness meet you as you are.*Don’t Play While Driving!This track is taken from The Ultimate Audio Collection, an ever-growing library of guided meditations, wisdom talks, and audio courses designed to help you unlock calm, clarity, and confidence. You’ll get access to this and much more inside the members area.You can check out more of my free meditations & talks here.Curious to go deeper?Click here to find out more about my 1:1 coaching & counseling sessions.

Why is it so hard for some people to stand up for themselves?In this episode I discuss three primary reasons why as well as some solutions that you could implement to overcome them.1: Low self-worth - if you don’t believe you deserve to be treated well/get what you need from life, then you will fail to act.2: Unclear goal or direction in life - if you don’t know where you are heading/what you value, you won’t know what to push for and what to avoid.3: Unable to hold space for their response - standing up for yourself will put people out, if you cannot sit with the negative feelings, moods, emotions, or responses that arise you will continue to give ground in every interaction until you discover that your life is not at all the way you want or need it to be.I offer guidance for each issue as well as way to practice meditation that combines the felt sense of self with positive visualization, inner work, and mindfulness that will help you stand up for yourself.Links mentioned:- Shadow Work Journal PDF (free)- How To Get Your Shit Together - Book (free)- Internal Family Systems Books- My websiteIf this episode has resonated with you, I would love your support.Click here to find out more about my 1:1 coaching & counselling sessions.

Who are you beyond the consequences of your past? Trauma and self identity are inextricably interconnected - you became what you needed to become to survive.These defense mechanisms saved you, but now you are left wondering who you are outside of them. Your interests, beliefs, desires, and goals are shaped by how you managed the past. Thus you may begin to wonder who you are.This lack of knowing can be crippling and it is the topic of this episode.Links mentioned:- Internal Family Systems Books- Dear Little Part Of Me - PoemIf this episode has resonated with you, I would love your support.Click here to find out more about my 1:1 coaching & counselling sessions.

Here is what to do when someone is being triggered and opening up about their trauma - or at least what works for me:1: Make Sure They Are Safe - out of danger to and from themself and to and from others/the environment.2: Make Sure You Are Safe - physically, emotionally and spiritually available, capable and able to helping the person without being overwhelmed or triggered, or at least only to an acceptable level.3: Ground Them In The Present Moment - this will help stop them from being triggered, get them to focus on what they can see, hear, touch, taste, and smell. Help them to slow down the breathing and heart rate and get them what they need: food, water, clothing, comfort items, medication, shelter etc.4: Practice Unconditional Positive Regard - Hold space for their truth, even if it doesn’t makes sense to you, or seems objectively ‘incorrect’, in that moment, it is their truth. Be a loving and accepting mirror. Their feelings are their feelings in that moment. And realise that if they’re triggered, they are quite literally biochemically structurally back in that past trauma.5: Listen & Offer- Hear them out and if appropriate and only if you are willing, offer what you can do to help.6: End With A Promise- have them promise that they will reach out to you (or someone specific) if they are at risk or if the triggers and flashbacks return.7: Follow Up- Tell them that you are going to follow up and do so. This shows you care and are extending the care into the future, reinforcing their promise.8: Self Care- Practice self care and ensure your own ongoing physical, psychological, and spiritual safety and wellbeing.- Blackness - Chapter from Under The Influence- Guard Your Mental State At All Costs - Blog- Create A Crisis Plan - It May Save Your Life- Poetry From A Dark Night Of The Soul - BookIf this episode has resonated with you, I would love your support.Click here to find out more about my 1:1 coaching & counselling sessions.

It’s time once again for my annual Fuck Christmas podcast.For some, the festive season is the opposite of fun - full of triggers and trauma and overwhelm and the forced obligation to spend time with the people and in places that caused you the most pain.It is a time when substance abuse, self harm and suicide significantly rise.It is a time we’re loneliness amplified and that all two familiar mask must be put back on in order to save face, and ultimately to save yourself.In this episode, I talk about the importance of saying no when you need to, and yes when you want to.I share a depth of the impact of my own trauma, and aspects that come with healing - particularly around Christmas. I share a story of attempting to explain my past and my pain - only to have it thrown back at myself as I was victim blamed, and thus no longer feeling safe around that person - which is brought up once again at this time of year.This is not an easy episode, and I want to give a massive trigger warning.But if you’ve read this far, and if you follow me, the episode will probably bring some solace or at least will help you to not feel so alone with the darkness this seems to get amplified by Santa’s sleigh.- Blackness - Chapter from Under The Influence- Guard Your Mental State At All Costs - Blog- Poetry From A Dark Night Of The Soul - BookIf this episode has resonated with you, I would love your support.Click here to find out more about my 1:1 coaching & counselling sessions.

Tendrils of the past manifest in the present and will continue to impact you into the future unless you take action.In this episode I discus the process of to identify and overcoming poverty mindset and other limiting beliefs.Sharing the story of moving out of home at 16, surviving of charity and government handouts, to thriving both personally and financially, whilst being able to ask for and offer products and services at rates that back then I could never have imagined possible.- Free Shadow Work Journal PDF- How To Get Your Sh!t Together- Coaching, Mentoring, & Intuitive Guidance- Immersion IntensiveIf this episode has resonated with you, I would love your support.Click here to find out more about my 1:1 coaching & counselling sessions.

Anger is a useful inner tool to keep us safe and living a life of purpose - only if it is embraced as an ally not a danger.Unfortunately, for some, our childhoods cause us to fear our own anger - rather than using to utilize it appropriately, we instead repress it and turn it inwards, with catastrophic consequences.If this episode has resonated with you, I would love your support.Click here to find out more about my 1:1 coaching & counselling sessions.