The Parenting 3.0 Show - Raising Emotionally Healthy Kids

This week, Jai and Deb continue to explore the work of Carl Rogers, diving even deeper into the topic of helping relationships, which Rogers defines as relationships that "other people can use for their own personal growth." In this episode we discuss the second five out of ten characteristics that Rogers identifies as essential to supporting personal growth in others. These five characteristics are: 6) Understanding 7) Acceptance 8) Safety 9) Non-evaluation 10) Confirmation Join us as we discover together how to form powerful helping relationships! Links we mentioned (or should have) in this episode: On Becoming a Person, Carl Rogers (Book)    STAY CONNECTED WITH DEB & JAI: Like the Parenting 3.0 Podcast Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/parenting3podcast/ And find them on their websites: https://LifeWorks.life and https://DebBlum.com The Parenting 3.0 Show is a weekly long-form discussion aimed at helping to make parenting more effective and enjoyable for parents and more beneficial for kids.

This week, Jai and Deb continue to explore the work of Carl Rogers, diving even deeper into the topic of helping relationships, which Rogers defines as relationships that "other people can use for their own personal growth." In this episode we discuss the first five out of ten characteristics that Rogers identifies as essential to supporting personal growth in another person. The first five characteristics are: 1) Dependability 2) Congruence 3) Positive Regard 4) Healthy Separateness for Oneself 5) Healthy Separateness for the Other Join us as we discover together how to form powerful helping relationships! Links we mentioned (or should have) in this episode: On Becoming a Person, Carl Rogers (Book)    STAY CONNECTED WITH DEB & JAI: Like the Parenting 3.0 Podcast Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/parenting3podcast/ And find them on their websites: https://LifeWorks.life and https://DebBlum.com The Parenting 3.0 Show is a weekly long-form discussion aimed at helping to make parenting more effective and enjoyable for parents and more beneficial for kids.

This week, Jai and Deb discuss how to support the process of Self-Actualization in our kids. Using the groundbreaking work of psychologist Carl Rogers as a framework, we explore topics such as authenticity, unconditional love and the power of understanding. We also explore how to form what Rogers calls helping relationships, which he defines as those relationships that "another person can use for his or her own personal growth." Rogers' three key insights into helping relationships are as follows: 1) The more that we can be genuine in a relationship, the more helpful it will be. 2) The more acceptance and liking we feel toward the other person, the more we will be creating a relationship that the other person can use for their own personal growth. 3) The more that we strive to understand the other person, the more we hold a sensitive empathy toward that person's feelings and communications, the more helpful and significant it will be. When these three conditions are present, individuals naturally move in the direction of wholeness, maturity and self-actualization. Links we mentioned (or should have) in this episode: On Becoming a Person, Carl Rogers (Book) Authenticity vs. Attachment, Dr. Gabor Mate (YouTube Video)   STAY CONNECTED WITH DEB & JAI: Like the Parenting 3.0 Podcast Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/parenting3podcast/ And find them on their websites: https://LifeWorks.life and https://DebBlum.com The Parenting 3.0 Show is a weekly long-form discussion aimed at helping to make parenting more effective and enjoyable for parents and more beneficial for kids.

This week, Deb and Jai try something new where they respond to a question from a listener. The topic is separation anxiety and they use attachment theory as the basis for their answer. This was recorded using Zoom video conferencing and will be posted on YouTube too!  We'd love to know what you think about this format, and if you have a question for us - please reach out. You can email us at deb@inspire4life.com or jai@lifeworks.life.  Links we mentioned (or should have) in this episode: Do Parents Matter Six Stages of Attachment Episode   STAY CONNECTED WITH DEB & JAI:   Like the Parenting 3.0 Podcast Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/parenting3podcast/ And find them on their websites: https://LifeWorks.life and https://DebBlum.com   The Parenting 3.0 Show is a weekly long-form discussion aimed at helping to make parenting more effective and enjoyable for parents and more beneficial for kids.    

This week, Jai and Deb finish mapping out the Motivation Continuum that we started discussing in Part 3 of this series, focusing on the four types of extrinsic motivation. Downloading the PDF of this continuum may be helpful. Join us as we explore the hidden costs of using rewards and punishments and what it looks like to move beyond that to more integrated forms of extrinsic motivation.  Links we mentioned (or should have) in this episode: The Motivation Continuum NY Times Article: Which is Better, Rewards or Punishments? Neither STAY CONNECTED WITH DEB & JAI: Like the Parenting 3.0 Podcast Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/parenting3podcast/ And find them on their websites: https://LifeWorks.life and https://DebBlum.com The Parenting 3.0 Show is a weekly long-form discussion aimed at helping to make parenting more effective and enjoyable for parents and more beneficial for kids.

This week, Jai and Deb look at laziness through the lens of Self-determination Theory, revealing that it is often actually a form of amotivation - an inability to motivate - not a willful choice to remain inactive. Amotivation falls on the far end of the powerful Motivation Continuum offered by SDT, which we begin to explain.  Links we mentioned (or should have) in this episode: The Motivation Continuum  Edward Deci - On Self-Determination Theory Jessica Lahey - Teaching the Gift of Failure Article - Laziness Does Not Exist   STAY CONNECTED WITH DEB & JAI: Like the Parenting 3.0 Podcast Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/parenting3podcast/ And find them on their websites: https://LifeWorks.life and https://DebBlum.com The Parenting 3.0 Show is a weekly long-form discussion aimed at helping to make parenting more effective and enjoyable for parents and more beneficial for kids.

In this episode, Jai and Deb explore motivation, starting with the search for a "silver bullet" strategy for motivating oneself to go to the gym. During this episode, we also explore the relationship between autonomy and self-actualization, and how both concepts are intimately related to motivation in general.    STAY CONNECTED WITH DEB & JAI:   Like the Parenting 3.0 Podcast Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/parenting3podcast/ And find them on their websites: https://LifeWorks.life and https://DebBlum.com   The Parenting 3.0 Show is a weekly long-form discussion aimed at helping to make parenting more effective and enjoyable for parents and more beneficial for kids.

This week, Jai and Deb explore three fundamental human psychological needs that, when met, lead to greater vitality, motivation and well-being and, when unmet, contribute to anxiety, depression and lowered of self-esteem. These needs, as articulated by Self-Determination Theory, are: relatedness, autonomy and competence. Join us as we discuss how to increase our own well-being and the well-being of our children. Links we mentioned (or should have) in this episode: https://selfdeterminationtheory.org/ STAY CONNECTED WITH DEB & JAI: Like the Parenting 3.0 Podcast Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/parenting3podcast/ And find them on their websites: https://LifeWorks.life and https://DebBlum.com The Parenting 3.0 Show is a weekly long-form discussion aimed at helping to make parenting more effective and enjoyable for parents and more beneficial for kids.

Jai and Deb talk about how to better understand so-called "bad" behavior so we can more skillfully deal with the triggers that inevitably accompany the challenge of parenting. Among the many topics that they explore, Jai and Deb show how inquiring into the stories we tell ourselves about the ways our children behave can help us be both more effective and more peaceful. In addition, they discuss the importance of understanding and working with our own nervous systems as well as how, by reimagining our role as parents, we can bring new levels of insight and sensitivity to our relationships with our children.  Links we mentioned (or should have) in this episode: Byron Katie’s Inquiry Work: The Work and her Judge Your Neighbor Worksheet   STAY CONNECTED WITH DEB & JAI: Like the Parenting 3.0 Podcast Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/parenting3podcast/ And find them on their websites: https://LifeWorks.life and https://DebBlum.com   The Parenting 3.0 Show is a weekly long-form discussion aimed at helping to make parenting more effective and enjoyable for parents and more beneficial for kids.

This week, Jai and Deb conclude their exploration of Attachment Theory, focusing this time on the Loving Alpha.  What's the Loving Alpha? Well, it's not authoritarian or dominant style parenting and it's also not permissive. Think of it as something that is aligned with who we are and how we're meant to parent our children. Tune in to better understand what the alpha is and what it's not. We also get into why adolescents seem so rebellious and how the Alpha can best relate to the more "demanding" child in order to prevent more problems in the future.   At the end we discuss that we don’t need to be perfect - yes, we want to hit the mark as much as we can, but when we miss the mark, we can regulate ourselves and repair the rupture.  Links we mentioned (or should have) in this episode: The Surprising Science of Alpha Males STAY CONNECTED WITH DEB & JAI: Like the Parenting 3.0 Podcast Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/parenting3podcast/ And find them on their websites: https://LifeWorks.life and https://DebBlum.com The Parenting 3.0 Show is a weekly long-form discussion aimed at helping to make parenting more effective and enjoyable for parents and more beneficial for kids.

This week, Jai and Deb continue their exploration of Attachment Theory, shining a light on the six ways that attachment bonds develop over time: (1)    Physical Closeness (connection via the senses) (2)    Sameness (mirroring, monkey-see-monkey-do) (3)    Belonging / Loyalty (group identity) (4)    Significance (cherished for who they are, as is) (5)    Love (emotional expression) (6)    Being Known (psychological closeness) Jai shares what happened to him before stage four that caused him to get a little stuck and, as an adult, how he moved through that. Jai and Deb also talk about how we might show our kids that they are significant to us. STAY CONNECTED WITH DEB & JAI: Like the Parenting 3.0 Podcast Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/parenting3podcast/ And find them on their websites: https://LifeWorks.life and https://DebBlum.com   The Parenting 3.0 Show is a weekly long-form discussion aimed at helping to make parenting more effective and enjoyable for parents and more beneficial for kids.  

This week, Jai and Deb continue their exploration of Attachment Theory, beginning with a deep dive into the now famous set of experiments known as the Strange Situation in which early attachment researchers observed what happens when mothers and their babies are introduced to strangers. This research is where the idea that people have either secure or insecure attachment styles originated.  In the second half of the show, Jai and Deb go beyond the Strange Situation to discuss a more current, and more nuanced, version of Attachment Theory, based on the pioneering work of Dr. Gordon Neufeld, which they have both found to be transformative to their parenting and their work with others.  Links we mentioned (or should have) in this episode: The Strange Situation (YouTube Video) Making Sense of Kids with Gordon Neufeld (YouTube Video) Unconditional Love - This American Life Podcast STAY CONNECTED WITH DEB & JAI: Like the Parenting 3.0 Podcast Facebook Page And find them on their websites: LifeWorks Learning Center and DebBlum.com The Parenting 3.0 Show is a weekly long-form discussion aimed at helping to make parenting more effective and enjoyable for parents and more beneficial for kids.

This week, Jai and Deb begin to explore Attachment Theory. In this first installment, they discuss the importance of shifting from seeing parenting as a role to fulfill to seeing it as a dynamic relationship to inhabit. They also talk about the important distinction between Attachment Theory, which a developmental explanation of relationship and bonding, and Attachment Parenting, which is a set of specific parenting strategies. For more on this distinction, see this great article. Music: Creative Minds and A Day to Remember courtesy of Bensound.com   The Parenting 3.0 Show is a weekly long-form discussion aimed at helping to make parenting more effective and enjoyable for parents and more beneficial for kids.

In this week’s episode, Jai and Deb answer the question: What is Parenting 3.0? We start by describing Parenting 1.0 and when and how we evolved into Parenting 2.0. Along the way, we describe both the benefits and pitfalls of each stage and then discuss how Parenting 3.0 incorporates the best of both previous stages, while adding in several new important elements.  Below are brief descriptions of each parenting stage: Parenting 1.0: For most of human history, people have parented the way their parents and grandparents did, with culture providing the cues. We didn’t have to ask questions - we just learned from our elders and culture around us. Parents didn’t think about being “good” parents, they just parented based on tradition and instinct. The quality of our parenting was largely an accident of the family we grew up in and the culture we inherited. Parenting 2.0: Along the way, for various cultural reasons, parents started turning to experts to learn to parent instead of following the lead of their parents and grandparents. This was the beginning of intentional and self-conscious parenting. In some cases, this evolution allowed for real advances, but over time, an endless stream of conflicting advice has led to confusion as we’ve lost touch with our natural parenting instincts. Parenting 2.0 spans the past 100 years and includes a wide range of “expert” advice. Parenting 3.0 is about reclaiming our natural parenting instincts and integrating them with a deep understanding of child development. It brings together the wisdom of the past with the best scientific and psychological research of the present. Parenting 3.0 isn’t another fad or a quick fix. It’s a set of principles that allows us to respond dynamically and confidently to our kids and to life from an informed and empowered place. Parenting 3.0 recognizes that parenting while misaligned with human nature is a losing battle. Music: Creative Minds and Beyond the Line courtesy of Bensound.com   The Parenting 3.0 Show is a weekly long-form discussion aimed at helping to make parenting more effective and enjoyable for parents and more beneficial for kids.

In this first mini-episode, Jai and Deb introduce themselves and share what motivated them to create The Parenting 3.0 Show.  The Parenting 3.0 Show is a weekly long-form discussion aimed at helping to make parenting more effective and enjoyable for parents and more beneficial for kids. Music: A New Beginning courtesy of Bensound.com