Born to Be a Badass

Alice Alexandrescu is an options facilitator who helps people identify and protect their  mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical boundaries. Currently, she is mentoring under Tony Blauer in his SPEAR System Elite Masterclass. She is an Army veteran, holds a Master of Fine Arts in Behavioral Aesthetics and is a qualified mental health associate skills trainer. In 2020, Alice was awarded third place in the National Veterans’ Art Festival for her piece entitled, “888 Paper Cranes”, which she gradually completed while hospitalized for PTSD. Saying, “during my treatment, crushing waves of emotions, thought, and sensation were delicately folded into each crane”. Alice’s work can be viewed in her Instagram where she just lays her studio and research methodology as a public living journal in video and photography.   In this episode, Alice and I discuss: Being In tune with your elements - Air, Water, Fire and Earth The Three D’s - Detect, Defuse, Defend  Non-violent communication - jackal mindset versus giraffe mindset   Key Takeaways: Everybody deserves to live out their dreams but usually conflict and harm gets in the way of that, either coming from other people or from the bully within. Defending yourself from attacks from both fronts will help you live your life the best that you could.  Have an understanding of what you want to protect and express that with passion. Create a clear system of boundaries. Practice stillness and quietness. Have compassion on your body, be mindful of what you’re eating and doing.  Remember D1, D2, and D3. Detect to avoid, be situationally aware to not be in a threatening place in the first place. Defuse to deescalate, when the first D doesn’t work, try to defuse the situation, or get to a place where you can be safe. Defend to protect yourself if the other options are unavailable.  Step out of violent communication where somebody wins and somebody loses.. Shift into being able to let both sides win together. Use language to heal each other.    “Language is the first technology - effective, clear, language to represent what’s going on in our internal world to coordinate, create, and manifest" —  Alice Alexandrescu   Connect with Alice Alexandrescu: Instagram: https://Instagram.com/alicejoanirene    CONNECT WITH CYNTHIA: If you'd like to chat with Cynthia, sign up for your Personal Safety Preparedness Consultation with her today! Remember to subscribe to "Born to Be A Badass" so that you don't miss a single episode, and join us in the "Born to Be A Badass Collective" group on Facebook. While you're at it, won't you take a moment to write a short review and rate our show? It would be greatly appreciated! If you work in the self-defense world, are a survivor, a healer or otherwise BADASS woman and you would like to be interviewed by Cynthia, reach out at cynthia@jolicoeur.com To learn more about previous guests, listen to past episodes, and get to know your host, go to Apple Podcasts or here. Connect with me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Linkedin  

Melissa Soalt is a women’s self-defense pioneer, a black belt hall of fame recipient, former trauma psychotherapist, and the creator of Fierce & Female Self Defense. She is a forerunner in full-force padded assailant scenario training, her approach is both practical and transformational. She has taught thousands of women how to safeguard their boundaries, protect themselves from danger and resist attack while reconnecting women with deep-seated, primal and emotional powers to live safer, bolder, and fuller lives and to reverse female fear. Melissa is an outspoken advocate for self-defense as physical feminism, she has been featured in national and international media and has also taught in Europe, India, Nepal, and Kenya. She provides customized online training and corporate consulting and is at work on a manifesto for women.   In this episode, Melissa and I discuss: Pre-assault indicators, the power of fear, and innate awareness. Staying focused and alert for street crimes  Signs that someone is going to physically attack you Seeing the whole person   Key Takeaways: Pre-assault indicators go beyond physical cues, manipulation and terror tactics are part of it. Fear is pervasive, it affects every decision you make in your life. We need to have an innate awareness, attuned fully to our intuition. The feeling of unease, or discomfort are important factors. . When you feel like a person is trying to distract you, do these things: watch their hands, have a neutral face, see as wide as possible, create a bit of distance, and observe scouting.  Watch out for signs of when someone’s about to attack you. They will often be anxious, build up adrenaline, and so will be shifting from foot to foot, going into a boxer’s stance. You may also notice their jaw clenching forward and an unmistakable tension.  You want to see the whole person if you want to remain safe and prepared from any sudden movements that they may do, watch their shoulders - they’ll go back before striking.    “Most of us don’t go around punching things, choking people, grabbing people from behind. But we need to learn what that looks like so that if we’re out in the street, or a shopping mall, and somebody has this intention, we’ll see it faster - if we have that kind of training." —  Cynthia Jolicoeur Rood   Connect with Melissa Soalt: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/fierceandfemale/  Website: http://www.fierceandfemale.com/  LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melissa-soalt-aka-dr-ruthless-a457456/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCTwPfQoC4d7TTj6KPoR1J5w     CONNECT WITH CYNTHIA: If you'd like to chat with Cynthia, sign up for your Personal Safety Preparedness Consultation with her today! Remember to subscribe to "Born to Be A Badass" so that you don't miss a single episode, and join us in the "Born to Be A Badass Collective" group on Facebook. While you're at it, won't you take a moment to write a short review and rate our show? It would be greatly appreciated! If you work in the self-defense world, are a survivor, a healer or otherwise BADASS woman and you would like to be interviewed by Cynthia, reach out at cynthia@jolicoeur.com To learn more about previous guests, listen to past episodes, and get to know your host, go to Apple Podcasts or here. Connect with me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Linkedin  

Raven Scott is a survivor of an abusing relationship with a narcissist, she’s gone from being a people pleaser to a kick-ass author, podcaster, and mentor and she’s a certified meditation teacher and a Destiny Coach. She teaches women how to shed negative patterns one step at a time, to find their power and potential through healing so that they can kick ass in their own life. Raven has a terrific podcast called “Unlock Your Destiny” and she recently published a book that’s a memoir combined with an empath’s healing guide, that book is called “Empath and The Narcissist: A Healing Guide For People Pleasers”.    In this episode, Raven and I discuss: Spotting a narcissist and examples of manipulation When psychological abuse turns physical Concept of Safety Nets and keeping safe from cyber-stalking Coping with PTSD through breath and EFT   Key Takeaways: Often, low self-esteem caused by experiences in one’s childhood can make them a perfect target for narcissists’ manipulation - it’s important to make peace with your past and focus on building back that self-worth in order to raise your defenses against people with no empathy.  Narcissist don’t have any empathy. You’ll know one is manipulating you if they’re showing no regard or your emotions and are always pinning the blame on you or something you did.  You often will not get any arguments with a narcissist early on because they will be love-bombing you to gain your trust but when you do argue, you’ll find yourself questioning your perception of right and wrong and by the end of the argument, you’ll find that the whole problem is you, and it’s all up to you to fix it and it’s not their problem. Psychological abuse often turns physical, pay attention to the signs and escape.  Recognize Safety Nets - there’s many ways you can do to be safe from an abuser and keep yourself safe. A few avenues you can take is through the law, by filing for a restraining order or changing your name, you can also contact family and close friends to help you through transition, and you can also turn off your phone’s GPS tracking.    "The biggest thing that narcissists want is attention… treat them like a stranger, don’t feel empathy for them and disengage from conversation… give yourself time for you." —  Raven Scott   Connect with Raven Scott: Website: https://www.unlockyourdestiny.net/  Podcast: https://www.unlockyourdestiny.net/podcast  Book: https://www.amazon.com/Empath-Narcissist-Healing-People-Pleasers-ebook/dp/B097CP63G5/       CONNECT WITH CYNTHIA: If you'd like to chat with Cynthia, sign up for your Personal Safety Preparedness Consultation with her today! Remember to subscribe to "Born to Be A Badass" so that you don't miss a single episode, and join us in the "Born to Be A Badass Collective" group on Facebook. While you're at it, won't you take a moment to write a short review and rate our show? It would be greatly appreciated! If you work in the self-defense world, are a survivor, a healer or otherwise BADASS woman and you would like to be interviewed by Cynthia, reach out at cynthia@jolicoeur.com To learn more about previous guests, listen to past episodes, and get to know your host, go to Apple Podcasts or here. Connect with me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Linkedin

M.E. Heald graduated 2006 with a double major in Criminal Justice and Psychology, and in 2010 with a masters in Criminal Justice specific to gangs and youth offenders. She has worked all over the place, including food service, sales, a few years as a promotional and advertising model, a year as a Miller Light Gal, she has also been an advocate at a sexual assault center and has spent the last 7 years as a corrections officer, the last 9 as a case manager. She trains new staff in self-defense, control tactics, crisis intervention, motivational interviewing, scenario-based trainings, conflict management, negotiations and more.    In this episode, M.E. Heald and I discuss: Practicing situational awareness  Understanding the criminal mind Crisis intervention and negotiations Safety tips to use when travelling   Key Takeaways: Be aware and listen to your gut - it will save you from a lot of trouble.  Understanding the criminal mind will help you keep yourself safe and be one step ahead of predators.  People are complicated, there are a lot of things that happen that make people who they are - choices they made and choices that were made upon them.  Give people a way out, if it’s an option, when intervening in a crisis and you might get to them more effectively.    "Know your surroundings, know your go-to places, let the people you trust know where you’re going, know who you’re with" —  M.E. Heald   Connect with M.E. Heald: Website: https://500rising.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mheald10/?hl=en   CONNECT WITH CYNTHIA: If you'd like to chat with Cynthia, sign up for your Personal Safety Preparedness Consultation with her today! Remember to subscribe to "Born to Be A Badass" so that you don't miss a single episode, and join us in the "Born to Be A Badass Collective" group on Facebook. While you're at it, won't you take a moment to write a short review and rate our show? It would be greatly appreciated! If you work in the self-defense world, are a survivor, a healer or otherwise BADASS woman and you would like to be interviewed by Cynthia, reach out at cynthia@jolicoeur.com To learn more about previous guests, listen to past episodes, and get to know your host, go to Apple Podcasts or here. Connect with me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Linkedin

About Meredith Gold: She is a scenario-based, full force, self defense instructor. She’s been teaching Adrenal Stress Scenario Training, also known as ASST to adults and teens since 1992 and started her empowerment-based assertive communication and self-defense program RAW Power: Real World Self-Defense in 2000. Meredith’s primary focus has always been teaching self-defense and verbal empowerment skills to previously untrained women and teens but her focus has expanded to other high risk targeted communities including LGBTQ and AAPI. She has also been instrumental in bringing awareness to this training method to the martial arts community. She and her husband/training partner Michael Belzer have offered training and instructor certifications to martial artists all around the world. A contributing for Black Belt Magazine for five years, Meredith was inducted into their hall of fame in 2003 when they named her their Woman of The Year.    In this episode, Meredith and I discuss: The difference of martial arts and full force self-defense training RAW Power - The three most important components of self-defense How people can deal with threats  Setting and communicating boundaries clearly    Key Takeaways: Fighting in martial arts and fighting in real life have different rules. You might need to learn practical fighting techniques that will help you defend against predators along with martial arts. RAW stands for Ready, Aware, Willing. These are the three most important components of self-defense.  Be aware when you’re outside - predators are always looking for someone who’s not paying attention.  Remember “elevator” - communicate clearly that you’re not comfortable and escalate with every ignored remark, then give a warning that there will be consequences if they don’t stop.    "The most important component in these situations is fighting spirit - it’s the deep belief that we have the right and ability to live a safe life." —  Meredith Gold   Check out Managing Violence Podcast by Joe Saunders - Episode with Meredith Gold and Michael Belzer: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/s1-ep-6-meredith-gold-mike-belzer-from-raw-power-self/id1441934641?i=1000426719954&l    Connect with Meredith Gold: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/rawpowersdtraining/  Website: http://rawpowerselfdefense.com/  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rawpowerselfdefense/    CONNECT WITH CYNTHIA: If you'd like to chat with Cynthia, sign up for your Personal Safety Preparedness Consultation with her today! Remember to subscribe to "Born to Be A Badass" so that you don't miss a single episode, and join us in the "Born to Be A Badass Collective" group on Facebook. While you're at it, won't you take a moment to write a short review and rate our show? It would be greatly appreciated! If you work in the self-defense world, are a survivor, a healer or otherwise BADASS woman and you would like to be interviewed by Cynthia, reach out at cynthia@jolicoeur.com To learn more about previous guests, listen to past episodes, and get to know your host, go to Apple Podcasts or here. Connect with me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Linkedin

Melissa Soalt is a women’s self-defense pioneer, a black belt hall of fame recipient, former trauma psychotherapist, and the creator of Fierce & Female Self Defense. She is a forerunner in full-force padded assailant scenario training, her approach is both practical and transformational. She has taught thousands of women how to safeguard their boundaries, protect themselves from danger and resist attack while reconnecting women with deep-seated, primal and emotional powers to live safer, bolder, and fuller lives and to reverse female fear. Melissa is an outspoken advocate for self-defense as physical feminism, she has been featured in national and international media and has also taught in Europe, India, Nepal, and Kenya. She provides customized online training and corporate consulting and is at work on a manifesto for women.   In this episode, Melissa and I discuss: When submission is necessary Tonic immobility or rape paralysis  Skills and strategies to counteract tonic immobility Self-defense options when being attacked by a rapist   Key Takeaways: Sometimes submission is the best choice against an attack if there is too much at stake.  Tonic immobility is something that happens to anyone, whether animals or humans, who are attacked by a predator. It serves as an automatic biological response - a cushion for the person who’s supposedly experiencing imminent death. This happens to rape victims too.  Use your intuition to dissuade and trick the predator, make some type of noise with the objects around you. Coil in to yourself and don’t telegraph your thoughts. Bring awareness into the situation but don’t let the assailant’s words get under your skin.  If you see a space to take action, take it. If their face is near your head, scream into their ear. Use your body’s natural weapon or get a weapon from around you. Go zero to a hundred on them. If you can get your legs and heels planted on their hipbone, you might be able to get up and run - control the hip to control the situation.   "Your goal is to facilitate escape. But often, to enable escape you have to disable or hurt something on the other person. That’s what enables our escape. —  Melissa Soalt   Connect with Melissa Soalt: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/fierceandfemale/  Website: http://www.fierceandfemale.com/  LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melissa-soalt-aka-dr-ruthless-a457456/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCTwPfQoC4d7TTj6KPoR1J5w     CONNECT WITH CYNTHIA: If you'd like to chat with Cynthia, sign up for your Personal Safety Preparedness Consultation with her today! Remember to subscribe to "Born to Be A Badass" so that you don't miss a single episode, and join us in the "Born to Be A Badass Collective" group on Facebook. While you're at it, won't you take a moment to write a short review and rate our show? It would be greatly appreciated! If you work in the self-defense world, are a survivor, a healer or otherwise BADASS woman and you would like to be interviewed by Cynthia, reach out at cynthia@jolicoeur.com To learn more about previous guests, listen to past episodes, and get to know your host, go to Apple Podcasts or here. Connect with me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Linkedin

Alice Alexandrescu is an options facilitator who helps people identify and protect their  mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical boundaries. Currently, she is mentoring under Tony Blauer in his SPEAR System Elite Masterclass. She is an army veteran, holds a master of fine arts in behavioral aesthetics and is a qualified mental health associate skills trainer. In 2020, Alice was awarded third place in the National Veterans’ Art Festival for her piece entitled, “888 Paper Cranes”, which she gradually completed while hospitalized for PTSD. Saying, “during my treatment, crushing waves of emotions, thought, and sensation were delicately folded into each crane”. Alice’s work can be viewed in her Instagram where she just lays her studio and research methodology as a public living journal in video and photography.    In this episode, Alice and I discuss: Standing up for injustice and learning the skills to back up that courage Recognizing cycles of abuse - listening to your intuition Non-clinical art therapy and other tools for healing   Key Takeaways: Learning self-defense doesn’t only have to be for yourself, you can use it to protect others and take action when you see injustice and abuse.  Just because the current abuse you take is lesser than the previous, doesn’t mean that it’s better - don’t fall into the trap of abusive cycles.  Survivors of abuse often speak of a “bad feeling” that they get before the abuse happened. Learn to listen to your gut and respond to it accordingly.  Creations of art often bring about healing through self-reflection and expression of pain. Similarly, self-defense can be considered a certain kind of art in itself.    “When I start making these choices to advocate for my needs, be self-aware, identify what I need and want, be brave to communicate that, and respond to the response..." —  Alice Alexandrescu   Connect with Alice Alexandrescu: Instagram: https://Instagram.com/alicejoanirene   CONNECT WITH CYNTHIA: If you'd like to chat with Cynthia, sign up for your Personal Safety Preparedness Consultation with her today! Remember to subscribe to "Born to Be A Badass" so that you don't miss a single episode, and join us in the "Born to Be A Badass Collective" group on Facebook. While you're at it, won't you take a moment to write a short review and rate our show? It would be greatly appreciated! If you work in the self-defense world, are a survivor, a healer or otherwise BADASS woman and you would like to be interviewed by Cynthia, reach out at cynthia@jolicoeur.com To learn more about previous guests, listen to past episodes, and get to know your host, go to Apple Podcasts or here. Connect with me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Linkedin

Randy is an education-based self-defense coach with over 15 years of experience who has taught thousands of people all over the world to better understand conflict management and violence prevention. In his quest to help people better understand conflict and violence, he has had the privilege to work with a truly diverse group of people including communities such as the first nations in Canada, Women’s Shelters as well as professional organizations like law enforcement and private corporations. He also has an absolutely amazing podcast channel called Randy King Live.    In this episode, Randy and I discuss: The most essential skills to defend against alcoholic assailants Avoiding or deescalating social violence  Mixture of skills that supplement self-defense skills The difference between social violence and predatory violence   Key Takeaways: It’s easier to choose non-violence if you’re already skilled in violence. If you don’t have any skills, you don’t really have any choice - but if you know self-defense, you have a “fight” to fall back to in situations that need it.  Train yourself to think beyond the situation and to not take things personally in social violence situations so that you can avoid further violence.  Train your communication skills, boundaries and physical skills. If you’re able to talk a person out of making a bad decision, you might not even need to fight - but it’s always good to have your fighting skill ready.  Social violence is for the ego of the group or the person while predatory violence is more about taking something away from you. One is about status and one is about resources.  Show the predator that they chose the wrong target.    "If your boundaries are strong and you look like you’re capable of stopping that person, they’re going to choose weaker prey… boundary-setting is the root of self-defense." —  Randy King   Connect with Randy King: YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/KPCMartialArts  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Conflictmanagementstrategies  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/randykinglive/  Website: https://www.randykinglive.com/  LinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/randy-king-6a2b9b27/    CONNECT WITH CYNTHIA: If you'd like to chat with Cynthia, sign up for your Personal Safety Preparedness Consultation with her today! Remember to subscribe to "Born to Be A Badass" so that you don't miss a single episode, and join us in the "Born to Be A Badass Collective" group on Facebook. While you're at it, won't you take a moment to write a short review and rate our show? It would be greatly appreciated! If you work in the self-defense world, are a survivor, a healer or otherwise BADASS woman and you would like to be interviewed by Cynthia, reach out at cynthia@jolicoeur.com To learn more about previous guests, listen to past episodes, and get to know your host, go to Apple Podcasts or here. Connect with me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Linkedin

Aisya Carroll is a certified life-coach, author, mentor, advocate for childhood trauma, a consultant and the CEO of Survivor Not By Chance LLC., whose mission is to help people cope with traumatic experiences by teaching them healthy coping mechanisms. Aisya has clients from across the globe with various backgrounds and experiences. She has mentored teenagers and young adults for over 15 years and is an advocate for children and adults affected by childhood trauma and domestic violence. Aisya volunteers to educate the community about racial injustice and systemic oppression in minority communities. She uses her own experiences with childhood trauma, domestic violence and poverty as a tool to help others heal. Aisya is the author of the book, “The Pressures of Becoming a Diamond”, an autobiographical novel about her challenging life experiences. She has a bachelor’s degree in business administration from The New Jersey Institute of Technology   In this episode, Aisya and I discuss: Taking back your voice  Becoming a diamond, embracing the pressure  Coping with trauma by releasing emotions Practicing meditation to cultivate a stronger coping ability    Key Takeaways: People will silence you and will invalidate your story, but you can take your voice back and never let it be taken away from you. Speak up and don’t let anyone stop you.  There is an inner healing and an inner peace that only you can give yourself.  Diamonds are beautiful, but they are made beautiful by a process of intense pressure.  Our culture teaches us that crying is weak, but it’s the opposite - being able to show emotions is strength.  Meditation can be done anywhere, anytime and in any way that works for you - but it gives many benefits for your mind.    “Diamonds are amazing jewels… very valuable, something that almost everyone wants. Yet people forget the process that diamonds go through to be as beautiful as they are… In my life, I had a lot of pressures that pushed me and forced me into becoming the diamond I am today." —  Aisya Carroll   Connect with Aisya Carroll: Twitter: https://twitter.com/NickiJSurvivor  Facebook: http://facebook.com/1169643786528187  Instagram: http://instagram.com/survivornotbychance  Website: https://survivornotbychance.com/  Email:  Survivornotbychance@gmail.com    CONNECT WITH CYNTHIA: If you'd like to chat with Cynthia, sign up for your Personal Safety Preparedness Consultation with her today! Remember to subscribe to "Born to Be A Badass" so that you don't miss a single episode, and join us in the "Born to Be A Badass Collective" group on Facebook. While you're at it, won't you take a moment to write a short review and rate our show? It would be greatly appreciated! If you work in the self-defense world, are a survivor, a healer or otherwise BADASS woman and you would like to be interviewed by Cynthia, reach out at cynthia@jolicoeur.com To learn more about previous guests, listen to past episodes, and get to know your host, go to Apple Podcasts or here. Connect with me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Linkedin

Kinko Hamilton has a mission to heal the world. While she was taking a break from her holistic healing practice due to pregnancy or the delivery of her second son, she started learning martial arts thinking that she’s learning self-defense. After several serious injuries, she started redefining what self-defense is and now she teaches Tony Blauer’s SPEAR System as an official affiliate trainer. Kinko has also studied DTS which is Dacascos Tactical System, kyusho jitsu which is pressure-point self defense, and trauma-informed self-defense. She created and hosted the Women’s Self-Defense Summit in 2020 and will continue to host it every year, gathering the world’s top self-defense experts to educate women to live inspired and empowered. She’s fluent in Japanese and plans to bring her work to her home country, Japan, in the near future. She’s also the host of a great podcast called, “Rise Up Against Violence”    In this episode, Kinko and I discuss: Teaching both compassion and self-respect to children Experiencing violence in school and at home  Changing your expectations  Practical martial arts    Key Takeaways: Teach our kids to fight back when someone hits them and stand up for themselves when they’re being victimized, but otherwise be kind and compassionate. Teach them to be a fighter with a good heart.  People in authority in school don’t often stand up for targeted children because of fear of dealing with the family of the child - but abuse will continue if nobody takes action.  Accept what’s happening - stop holding on to what should be or what should’ve been and see things for what they are.  Martial arts and self-defense are different from each other. Just because you know one, doesn’t mean you’ll be good at the other.    "Embrace reality. Embrace the fact rather than holding on to an idea. Face the facts and go from there." —  Kinko Hamilton   Connect with Kinko Hamilton: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hamiltonkinko/  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/KINKOHamiltonpage/  Podcast: https://goddesssway.com/riseupagainstviolence  Website: https://goddesssway.com/ Email:  alohakinko@gmail.com    CONNECT WITH CYNTHIA: If you'd like to chat with Cynthia, sign up for your Personal Safety Preparedness Consultation with her today! Remember to subscribe to "Born to Be A Badass" so that you don't miss a single episode, and join us in the "Born to Be A Badass Collective" group on Facebook. While you're at it, won't you take a moment to write a short review and rate our show? It would be greatly appreciated! If you work in the self-defense world, are a survivor, a healer or otherwise BADASS woman and you would like to be interviewed by Cynthia, reach out at cynthia@jolicoeur.com To learn more about previous guests, listen to past episodes, and get to know your host, go to Apple Podcasts or here. Connect with me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Linkedin

Parmila Armitage is the Chief Impact Officer and Co-Founder of Studyviolence.com, an online resource with free online courses on violence prevention and defense. She is a violence prevention and defense teacher, certified trauma-sensitive yoga teacher, and a trauma-sensitive educator. She has created a Train The Trainer Program which educates self-defense and martial arts teachers how to conduct their classes in a trauma-informed and sensitive ways to better reach and empower her students. She has been working with survivors of abuse, sexual assault, domestic violence, and substance abuse disorder since 2016.    In this episode, Pamela and I discuss: Experiencing abuse during childhood Predators and narcississts in the entertainment industry, red flags to watch out for and how to survive Caring for your mental health state, recognizing emotional abuse, and utilizing yoga and marial arts  The difference between trauma-informed and trauma-sensitive    Key Takeaways: Many targets of abuse tend to blame themselves for the crime done to them, but it’s important that somebody tells them it’s not their fault and the shame is not on the target but the perpetrator.  We must teach people that predatory behavior and inappropriate comments disguised as jokes or comments are not okay, and could become the start of exploitation - it could be a predator testing the waters to see what they could get away with.  Healing from trauma is possible through many paths, one of them being yoga. Preventing trauma can be done through learning self-defense.  Take a step above being trauma-informed into being trauma-sensitive, learn to recognize the symptoms of trauma in your students if you are an educator who values trauma.    "Trauma is the root core of all our societal issues… from mental health struggles, substance abuse disorders, domestic violence… it is the core to all of the pain in our society. Violence causes trauma and trauma causes violence." —  Pamela Armitage   Pamela’s Book Recommendations:  Dr. Gabor Maté: https://drgabormate.com/book/ |  Bessel van der Kolk: https://www.amazon.com/Bessel-van-der-Kolk/e/B00OTHN2FA%3F Daniel J. Siegel: https://www.amazon.com/Daniel-J.-Siegel/e/B00459LSPI%3F   Connect with Pamela Armitage: Twitter:  https://twitter.com/palmstrikepam  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pamela.sisson.73  Twitter: https://www.instagram.com/pamela.armitage.sv/  Email:  mailto:pamarmitage@hotmail.com  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@studyofviolence  LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/pamela-armitage-b05692104/       CONNECT WITH CYNTHIA: If you'd like to chat with Cynthia, sign up for your Personal Safety Preparedness Consultation with her today! Remember to subscribe to "Born to Be A Badass" so that you don't miss a single episode, and join us in the "Born to Be A Badass Collective" group on Facebook. While you're at it, won't you take a moment to write a short review and rate our show? It would be greatly appreciated! If you work in the self-defense world, are a survivor, a healer or otherwise BADASS woman and you would like to be interviewed by Cynthia, reach out at cynthia@jolicoeur.com To learn more about previous guests, listen to past episodes, and get to know your host, go to Apple Podcasts or here. Connect with me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Linkedin

Melissa Soalt is a truly badass pioneer in the world of women’s self defense, the creator of Fierce and Female Self Defense, and my partner in this special series of Fierce and Female Fridays.   In this episode, Melissa and I discuss: Reconciling Buddha Nature and Killer Instinct.  Acknowledging the violent potential as part of your personal identity.  Women Warriors and Deadly Dames - looking into the history of women and violence Violence as a last resort when diplomacy fails   Key Takeaways: In a perfect world, there wouldn't be a need for violence to defend oneself. Your violent potential is always within you on reserve, ready for access whenever needed.  First, violence is not always evil. And second, the potential for violence is a part of people, even good people.  Get acquainted with your identity as a woman warrior. There have been many in history, in many cultures and nations - you’ll find that you’re not alone. There have been many women warriors and deadly dames.  Fear is what oppressors and predators count upon.    "Women have always been warriors and deadly dames… When we discourage women from learning self-protection, we inadvertently encourage women to therefore submit to victimization." —  Melissa Soalt    Connect with Melissa Soalt: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/fierceandfemale/  Website: http://www.fierceandfemale.com/  LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melissa-soalt-aka-dr-ruthless-a457456/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCTwPfQoC4d7TTj6KPoR1J5w     CONNECT WITH CYNTHIA: If you'd like to chat with Cynthia, sign up for your Personal Safety Preparedness Consultation with her today! Remember to subscribe to "Born to Be A Badass" so that you don't miss a single episode, and join us in the "Born to Be A Badass Collective" group on Facebook. While you're at it, won't you take a moment to write a short review and rate our show? It would be greatly appreciated! If you work in the self-defense world, are a survivor, a healer or otherwise BADASS woman and you would like to be interviewed by Cynthia, reach out at cynthia@jolicoeur.com To learn more about previous guests, listen to past episodes, and get to know your host, go to Apple Podcasts or here. Connect with me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Linkedin

In this episode, I discuss: The many different meanings of “self-defense” and what it actually is False beliefs on attracting violence, and the feeling of being too weak to protect yourself. Learning how to navigate through fear and other limiting beliefs - the cycle of behavior The truth about violence and how not all of it is bad Relying on tools and weapons to protect yourself and other self-defense myths    Key Takeaways: Self-defense is the act of choosing safety when danger is imminent. You don’t have to wait to be struck, when you see imminent danger, you can pre-emptively make decisions that increases your chances to avoid violence or harrassment. Tap into the resources that you have, and be committed to not stop until they’re unable to hurt you. Give yourself a chance to learn everything you need: principles, mindset and techniques to not be defenseless.  Fear can never be eliminated. Fearlessness is not possible, but you can grow into someone who’s more able to handle fear, someone who’s able to navigate through fear.  Think about the image of a momma bear - they would do anything, including using physical force, to protect their loved ones.    "You are your best weapon. Your best tools are your brain and your mindset." —  Cynthia Jolicoeur Rood   CONNECT WITH CYNTHIA: If you'd like to chat with Cynthia, sign up for your Personal Safety Preparedness Consultation with her today! Remember to subscribe to "Born to Be A Badass" so that you don't miss a single episode, and join us in the "Born to Be A Badass Collective" group on Facebook. While you're at it, won't you take a moment to write a short review and rate our show? It would be greatly appreciated! If you work in the self-defense world, are a survivor, a healer or otherwise BADASS woman and you would like to be interviewed by Cynthia, reach out at cynthia@jolicoeur.com To learn more about previous guests, listen to past episodes, and get to know your host, go to Apple Podcasts or here. Connect with me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Linkedin

Charlotte is a Communications Consultant for Technology and Cybersecurity Companies that make today’s enterprises and governments safer. In her off hours, she is passionate about personal privacy and cybersecurity. She has degrees in Communications and Criminal Justice with a focus on cybercrime and cybersecurity.  She was born and raised in Silicon Valley, earned a Black Belt in Tae Kwon Do at age 10, and was a competitive amateur ballroom dancer for several years.  In this episode, Charlotte Jolicoeur and I discuss: Cybercrime and online harassment How to stay safe online  The best way to manage your passwords  The biggest threats to women in the online world    Key Takeaways: Anonymity in the internet is often seen as an opportunity by predators to commit crime Think about the information you’re sharing online. Even if you don’t think that there’s any reason that anyone would target you, it’s still important to keep safe and keep your personal posts private.  Change your passwords, make them complicated. Chances are that you’re reusing passwords. Once they crack that, they can get to your other accounts too.  Look at your social media profiles and update all your security settings. What you’re looking for is posts which show your location, workplace, schedule, frequent places, home address.  Google yourself. Google your information, your phone number, email and full name to see where your information has been posted. There’s so much about us that’s available out there that we don’t know about.    “Go through your friends group and connections, and make sure that you are connecting with people that you trust with your information. Limit your information to everybody else." —  Charlotte Jolicoeur   Check out this website to know if you’re email or contact number has been acquired online: https://haveibeenpwned.com/     Connect with Charlotte Jolicoeur: Twitter: https://twitter.com/cajolicoeur  Website: https://athenacomms.com/  LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/athenacomms/    CONNECT WITH CYNTHIA: If you'd like to chat with Cynthia, sign up for your Personal Safety Preparedness Consultation with her today! Remember to subscribe to "Born to Be A Badass" so that you don't miss a single episode, and join us in the "Born to Be A Badass Collective" group on Facebook. While you're at it, won't you take a moment to write a short review and rate our show? It would be greatly appreciated! If you work in the self-defense world, are a survivor, a healer or otherwise BADASS woman and you would like to be interviewed by Cynthia, reach out at cynthia@jolicoeur.com To learn more about previous guests, listen to past episodes, and get to know your host, go to Apple Podcasts or here. Connect with me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Linkedin

Mary Stevens is a third degree black belt and martial arts instructor with 18 years experience with Karate, weapons and Jujitsu. She holds a master’s degree from Oxford University and a post-graduate certificate in education. She runs her own Martial Arts School called the Athena School of Karate, has written a series of children’s books and works with an international charity called Fair Fight which empowers young girls in developing countries, using Karate as a tool to develop confidence and self-determination. Mary is passionate about martial arts as a tool for confidence building and is a strong advocate for personal security education.    In this episode, Mary and I discuss: Tips for women for finding and learning about their strengths and weaknesses Going through an abusive or manipulative relationship and how to get out Educating young men and women about avoiding and defending one’s self from abuse  How martial arts lessons translate to other parts of life    Key Takeaways: Attending martial arts classes is not only about self-defense, but self-empowerment. Finding your strength is not only in practical arts, but can also be found in reading good books.  When going through abuse, try to see the bigger picture. Taking action to distance yourself from your abuser might be a tough decision, but it’s the only one that’s good. To know if you’re getting gaslit, write everything down. It’s important that we teach the youth today, both young men and women, what it’s like to be in a healthy relationship in order that they may not fall into an abusive or manipulative relationship. Martial arts can cultivate confidence, discipline, and self-determination - while also of course, giving one more ability to protect themselves.    “A good martial artist is a good learner on all different environments" —  Mary Stevens   Connect with Mary Stevens: Twitter: https://twitter.com/maryffwarrior  Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/athenakarate/  Website: https://athenakarate.mymamembers.com/    CONNECT WITH CYNTHIA: If you'd like to chat with Cynthia, sign up for your Personal Safety Preparedness Consultation with her today! Remember to subscribe to "Born to Be A Badass" so that you don't miss a single episode, and join us in the "Born to Be A Badass Collective" group on Facebook. While you're at it, won't you take a moment to write a short review and rate our show? It would be greatly appreciated! If you work in the self-defense world, or are a survivor, healer or otherwise BADASS woman and you would like to be interviewed by Cynthia, reach out at cynthia@jolicoeur.com To learn more about previous guests, listen to past episodes, and get to know your host, go to Apple Podcasts or here. Connect with me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Linkedin

In this episode, we discuss: The most important technique for being safe, our first line of defense What happens in the absence of boundaries Setting firm boundaries  Defending yourself when somebody crosses your boundaries and knowing when your boundaries are violated   Key Takeaways: Set and defend firm boundaries, it will prevent attacks. Setting boundaries is our right. Our ability to set them is what makes us far less vulnerable to intrusion, manipulation, or attacks.  Predators and abusers see the absence of boundaries as a power vacuum - weak boundaries is what they look for. If somebody intrudes on your boundaries, it’s not your fault. But it’s your right and your responsibility to set boundaries. Acknowledge your intuition if something doesn’t feel right. Assert your feelings to someone who’s making you feel uncomfortable, and get ready to back up that assertion because it will be challenged.  Predators are looking for a way to control and get to someone’s mind; small acts of denial of their control can save your life. Assert your limits, speak firmly.  Setting boundaries is our first line of defense, if a predator crosses that, you have to take further actions to defend yourself. Yell, tell them to back away. If that doesn’t work, prepare to defend yourself physically.    "Setting limits around our mind, our authority, our sense of self, it’s what keeps us intact as having the ownership over our own lives and determining what’s around us." —  Cynthia Jolicoeur   CONNECT WITH CYNTHIA: If you'd like to chat with Cynthia, sign up for your Personal Safety Preparedness Consultation with her today! Remember to subscribe to "Born to Be A Badass" so that you don't miss a single episode, and join us in the "Born to Be A Badass Collective" group on Facebook. While you're at it, won't you take a moment to write a short review and rate our show? It would be greatly appreciated! If you work in the self-defense world, are a survivor, a healer or otherwise BADASS woman and you would like to be interviewed by Cynthia, reach out at cynthia@jolicoeur.com To learn more about previous guests, listen to past episodes, and get to know your host, go to Apple Podcasts or here. Connect with me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Linkedin

In this episode, I discuss: Common examples of and statistics on street harassment  How street harassment can affect targets What you can do about street harassment if you're a target A larger perspective on street harassment, more solutions for protecting yourself from predators and reasons behind predatory behavior   Key Takeaways: It's not productive to engage harassers. Your number one goal is being safe, not teaching an asshole a lesson.  Most harassers are generally harmless, but some are actually predators - listen to your intuition, pay attention to what your primal survival system is telling you. Be prepared to take action when you need to. When they move from verbal to physical, you absolutely have to act. You may ask a bystander to walk with you, draw attention to people around, or fight. Do whatever it takes to drive them away. There’s nothing wrong with you. You have the right to take space in this world, a right to go about your life unimpeded, and fend off unwanted unwelcome comments, gestures and touching. Walk confidently, listen to your intuition and don’t let predators take your joy away from you.    “Your body and your life are worth protecting. So be prepared to do whatever it takes to protect yourself." —  Cynthia Jolicoeur Rood   CONNECT WITH CYNTHIA: If you'd like to chat with Cynthia, sign up for your Personal Safety Preparedness Consultation with her today! Remember to subscribe to "Born to Be A Badass" so that you don't miss a single episode, and join us in the "Born to Be A Badass Collective" group on Facebook. While you're at it, won't you take a moment to write a short review and rate our show? It would be greatly appreciated! If you work in the self-defense world, are a survivor, a healer or otherwise BADASS woman and you would like to be interviewed by Cynthia, reach out at cynthia@jolicoeur.com To learn more about previous guests, listen to past episodes, and get to know your host, go to Apple Podcasts or here. Connect with me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Linkedin

Mytrae Meliana is a Women’s Empowerment and Spiritual Teacher, a Holistic Psychotherapist, Trauma Expert, speaker and author. She leads workshops and programs for women that empower them to heal from trauma, liberate themselves from patriarchy, and connect with the divine feminine so that they can live true, bold, inspired lives. Mytrae is also the founder of Temple of Sound Healing, which teaches Sound Healing to Health and Wellness Practitioners and Social Justice Community Leaders. An immigrant from India, Mytrae shares her story of healing, empowerment, and awakening in her memoir: “Brown Skin Girl: An Indian-American Woman's Magical Journey From Broken To Beautiful”.    In this episode, Mytrae and I discuss: Seeking a way out in an abusive relationship How children are affected by abuse - signs to watch out for and how they may cope Knowing your rights as a human being The clash between individuality and family, culture and religion   Key Takeaways: Acknowledge when you discover that you’re living a lie and letting your freedom be limited by other people - you have the capacity to break free and make it on your own, even if it doesn’t feel like it.  It’s important to explain sexual boundaries to your child; they might be getting abused but don’t have the language to express to you what they’re going through Own and proclaim your freedom, don’t follow the train tracks of control and expectation, and build your own life. Your culture might tell you that God is angry at you or that you are bad, but there’s never a moment that you’re not loved by the Divine.   "Taking the baby steps when I couldn’t chart out anything in my life was a way to crawl forward in my life… we’re scared and daunted of what we have to do but take that one step… that’s plenty. It’s a way to build that muscle and move… you’ll be stuck, unless you keep moving " —  Mytrae Meliana   Check out Mytrae’s book, “Brown Skin Girl”, here: https://mytraemeliana.com/brown-skin-girl/     Connect with Mytrae Meliana: Twitter: https://twitter.com/mytraemeliana Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mytraemeliana/  Website: https://mytraemeliana.com/  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mytraemeliana/    CONNECT WITH CYNTHIA: If you'd like to chat with Cynthia, sign up for your Personal Safety Preparedness Consultation with her today! Remember to subscribe to "Born to Be A Badass" so that you don't miss a single episode, and join us in the "Born to Be A Badass Collective" group on Facebook. While you're at it, won't you take a moment to write a short review and rate our show? It would be greatly appreciated! If you work in the self-defense world, are a survivor, a healer or otherwise BADASS woman and you would like to be interviewed by Cynthia, reach out at cynthia@jolicoeur.com To learn more about previous guests, listen to past episodes, and get to know your host, go to Apple Podcasts or here. Connect with me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Linkedin

Cindy Villanueva is a memoirist and an inspirational writer with a passion for helping women achieve lives of strength and joy. She’s the author of a terrific book called “Don’t Fight Mad: A Black Belt’s Quest To Recapture Joy” and she is the co-author of “Finding Our Wings: Seven Entrepreneurs on Reclaiming Hope and Power”. Cindy is a seventh degree black-belt master instructor and the owner of Ernie Reyes’ World Martial Arts. Her love of teaching led her to be an adjunct professor at Concordia University of Texas where she teaches undergraduate marketing and graduate marketing management and leadership. She speaks regularly on leadership and women in business. Cindy has four children and two grand-children and she splits her time between Austin, Texas and New Smyrna Beach, Florida.    In this episode, Cindy and I discuss: Difference between progression in girls and boys when learning self-defense  How to set healthy boundaries and how to communicate effectively Navigating through fear and dealing with it healthily  Warning signs of an unhealthy or a potentially dangerous relationship   Key Takeaways: Don’t be afraid to change. Be the person who you’re designed to be, that person can change and that’s okay. To learn self-defense quicker, be comfortable with getting hurt and be ready to hurt. Sometimes violence is appropriate. Not all kinds of violence are evil.  Think about the upside of embracing that fear vs capitulating to that fear. If you choose the latter, you would be less than who you are designed to be and who you’re capable of being.  Don’t instantly dismiss yourself when you feel something is wrong. Trust your intuition and make an informed decision.    "As soon as you hear or start saying the word ‘should’, run the other direction… there shouldn’t be a should, everyone is different. Figure out who you are… and what brings you joy." —  Cindy Villanueva   Connect with Cindy Villanueva: Twitter: https://twitter.com/KnockoutMrktg  Website: http://www.cindyvillanueva.com/ | http://www.komarketingstrategies.com/  LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cindyvillanueva/detail/contact-info/    CONNECT WITH CYNTHIA: If you'd like to chat with Cynthia, sign up for your Personal Safety Preparedness Consultation with her today! Remember to subscribe to "Born to Be A Badass" so that you don't miss a single episode, and join us in the "Born to Be A Badass Collective" group on Facebook. While you're at it, won't you take a moment to write a short review and rate our show? It would be greatly appreciated! If you work in the self-defense world, are a survivor, a healer or otherwise BADASS woman and you would like to be interviewed by Cynthia, reach out at cynthia@jolicoeur.com To learn more about previous guests, listen to past episodes, and get to know your host, go to Apple Podcasts or here. Connect with me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Linkedin

Melissa Soalt is a women’s self-defense pioneer, a Black Belt Hall of Fame recipient, former trauma psychotherapist, and the creator of Fierce & Female Self Defense. She is a forerunner in full-force padded assailant scenario training, her approach is both practical and transformational. She has taught thousands of women how to safeguard their boundaries, protect themselves from danger and resist attack while reconnecting women with deep-seated, primal and emotional powers to live safer, bolder, and fuller lives and to reverse female fear. Melissa is an outspoken advocate for self-defense as physical feminism, she has been featured in national and international media and has also taught in Europe, India, Nepal, and Kenya. She provides customized online training and corporate consulting and is at work on a manifesto for women.    In this episode, Melissa and I discuss: The journey from innocence to awakening into aggression and survival Fighting back against violent attempts from people who won’t take no for an answer Our power and potential as part of our original, primordial nature.  The reversal of horrific oppressive culture    Key Takeaways: Don’t silence yourself nor let yourself be silenced.  Your body is an instrument of power. Your body, as a tool, can be dangerous to oppressors.  We have to be able to make room in our hearts for the capacity for aggressive force, that’s the first step to fighting back. You can still be caring and loving, but at the same time be fierce and indomitable.  The reversal for the oppressor’s perceived right to take is our right to take control, to embrace power and defend ourselves.    "Speak up and take action if something doesn’t feel right. Free yourself from fears that inhibit you…" —  Melissa Soalt    Connect with Melissa Soalt: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/fierceandfemale/  Website: http://www.dr-ruthless.com/  LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melissa-soalt-aka-dr-ruthless-a457456/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCTwPfQoC4d7TTj6KPoR1J5w     CONNECT WITH CYNTHIA: If you'd like to chat with Cynthia, sign up for your Personal Safety Preparedness Consultation with her today! Remember to subscribe to "Born to Be A Badass" so that you don't miss a single episode, and join us in the "Born to Be A Badass Collective" group on Facebook. While you're at it, won't you take a moment to write a short review and rate our show? It would be greatly appreciated! If you work in the self-defense world, are a survivor, a healer or otherwise BADASS woman and you would like to be interviewed by Cynthia, reach out at cynthia@jolicoeur.com To learn more about previous guests, listen to past episodes, and get to know your host, go to Apple Podcasts or here. Connect with me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Linkedin