Lost Spaces: Memories from Gay Bars, Lesbian Clubs, and LGBTQ+ Parties

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This episodes first came out in 2024, and here's what I had to say about it: I love hearing people's stories of places that are close to their hearts - places where they spent tonnes of time, met lots of wonderful people, and figured out things about themselves.But, you know what else I love?When people want to talk about places that they HATED!And hate is maybe too strong a word for this week's guest's experience, but I still enjoyed hearing about how the sticky floors and the dark, dank bar were just not up their alley.And who's alley were we not up?Well, it's Layne the Auctionista, who joined me to talk about Seven, the aforementioned dark bar that was found in London, Ontario, Canada.

This episode first appeared in 2024, and here's what I had to say... There's one question that gets asked in this week's episode that’s really stuck with me and that I continued to ponder even after we'd said our goodbyes and turned our microphones off...And that question is: how do you know when you have become the person that you’re supposed to be?By that I mean - at what point do you say 'yes this is the person I was supposed to be' rather than continue to strive and figure that out? Or, do you just kind of like make do with who you presently are and accept that that might change one day?And it's one of those annoying questions where there probably isn't an answer, so it's not worth expending any energy trying to figure it out, but if you have any suggestions do let me know!But for now, let’s focus on our guest for this week’s episode, Amethysta Herrick, writer and host of the Gender Identity Weekly podcast.Amethysta came out as a trans woman in 2022, but if you've ever come out then you know that it takes a lot of mental computation and processing to get to that point and it's usually something that you know about a long time before you're willing to share it with the wider world.But luckily for us we have queer spaces where it's safe to explore these things.And, one of the places that helped Amethysta explore and understand her identity was the Athens, Georgia bar Boneshakers, where, way back in the 90s, she got to try out an alternate identity - she named herself Selina after Catwoman's civilian name - and just got to flirt, hang out, and exist as herself.

This episode was first shared in 2024, and here's what I had to say: I know there's always the risk with this show of completely romanticising queer spaces as these glistening oasis' of tolerance and acceptance.But, that's really not the case - despite how wonderful and freeing they can be, they can also be a bit shitty and exclusionary. And I was reminded of that this week when I sat down to talk to talk to Andrew Gurza, who is a disability awareness consultant and activist, as well as being the host of the Disability After Dark podcast. We caught up to discuss The Edge, which was a gay bar in Ottawa, Canada, and held so much promise for Andrew but pretty much failed to deliver. But, that's not to say that this is a totally depressing episode. That Andrew is one horny guy, and he seems to have mastered the art of turning every conversation into one about blow jobs, so penises and giggling come up a lot, as well as the despair we both feel about mainstream gay male culture! So, in other words - something for everyone (?)!

I first shared this episode in 2024, and here's what I had to say: So, if you were to ask me to overly generalise and boil down the types of experiences that guests on this show have had when first accessing a queer space I'd say they neatly fit in to two categories:1) there are those who feel instantly at home and like they've arrived. 2) there are those who feel like an outsider, or a 'tourist' in the space. Sometimes that feeling of being an outsider goes away after a few visits when they get the chance to ease in to the space and better understand the culture. But sometimes they remain a tourist... which isn't necessarily a bad thing. Which brings us to this week's guest - author, screenwriter, and producer Abdi Nazemian - who never stopped feeling like a tourist, but still credits his lost space, Disco 2000 at The Limelight in New York City, with inspiring him to be passionate and brave and fun. We talk about the club kid scene in this episode, which was happening in NYC in the early 90s. I don't think you need to know much about the history of the scene to follow the conversation, but you might enjoy this article for some background