The Playbook

Is there a man still living rent-free in your head, even though he moved out months or years ago?When my marriage ended at 34, I had three kids under four and a head full of him. I replayed every conversation. I kept tabs on his life like somebody was paying me to. Then one day it hit me, and it's a little embarrassing to admit. I was giving that man more of my attention after the divorce than he ever gave me during it. This episode is how I finally served him his eviction notice, and how you can serve yours.In this episode:• Why your brain plays his highlight reel at 2 AM• The four kinds of exes who squat in your head. Which one is yours?• The hospital director who started every workday with her ex's Instagram• Co-parenting with him? Evict him from your head anyway• Date like a CEO• The "false reward" of staying alone• How clearing out my ex made room for my husband, the "boring guy" my therapist told me to give a chance• Your play this week, starting tonight before bedFree private podcast, The 5-Day Reset: https://reset.amandacarroll.orgFree live training, The Game Plan: https://gameplan.amandacarroll.orgApply for The Playbook coaching program: https://playbook.amandacarroll.org/If this episode helped you, follow the show, leave a review, and send it to the friend who still brings him up at every girls' night.

What if the man you’re supposed to marry is the one who’d sit by your hospital bed and say, “Nobody’s ever loved me as much as you do”?My friend Katie, from the 106.5 The End morning show in Sacramento, went into the hospital thinking it was something minor. By 4 PM, she was in emergency surgery. So I put on my pajamas, drove over in my Bronco, and crawled into bed with her, and we recorded this episode right there.In this episode:What emergency surgery revealed about Katie and her fiancé, DamianWhy your 18-year marriage wasn’t a failureThere’s no advantage to staying with the wrong personThe garage-door test for knowing if he’s your person“You’re not too much. They’re not enough.”Why you should use dating apps to make friends, not hunt for a husbandThe play: put your red flags on your dating profileA cheese-fueled RV disaster neither of us is overFree Dating Profile Cheat Sheet: profile.amandacarroll.orgFree live training, The Game Plan: gameplan.amandacarroll.orgSend us your red flags: Instagram @therealamandacarroll or [email protected] Katie: https://www.instagram.com/katiewakeupcallIf this episode helped you, subscribe, leave a comment, and share it with a friend who needs to hear it.

So many women are single today because they stayed with the wrong one too long, or they're with the wrong one right now because no one ever told them when they're allowed to leave. In this episode, Amanda Carroll teaches the CEO Firing Framework: slow to hire, fast to fire, never rehire. You'll learn the 30-day provisional hire, the three questions for your Day-30 review, the firing offenses that end it on the spot, how to run an exit interview, and why the scarcity-of-good-men myth keeps smart women rehiring the wrong man.In this episode:Why smart women stay too long (and why it's not your fault)The 30-day provisional hire, and why exclusivity comes firstThe Day-30 review: commitment, healthy partner, calmer or anxiousThe firing offenses list, plus the difference between coachable and fireableThe exit interview scriptWhy there is no shortage of good menLinks:Free Commitment Decoder, what his first five dates tell you about month nine: decoder.amandacarroll.orgNational Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 or thehotline.orgSubscribe, follow, and leave a review so more women can find the show.

What if the thing you finally figured out about him at Month Six was already there on Date Three?One of the biggest reasons women waste time on the wrong men isn’t because they can’t see what’s happening. It’s because the packaging looks so good that they override the evidence.He has a great career, so you assume he’s responsible. He says he values communication, so you assume he knows how to communicate. He wants marriage, so you assume he’s ready for one. You have incredible chemistry, so you assume you’re compatible.But where’s the evidence?In this episode of The Playbook, I’m teaching you The Look Beyond the Packaging Play—how to stop dating the story you’re building around a man and start paying attention to what his behavior is actually telling you.We’re talking about why you should stop dating adjectives and start dating verbs, the one question I want at the top of your dating list, why caring without action eventually becomes labor, how to spot patterns without turning every imperfection into a red flag, and why some of the best potential partners may not have the most impressive “packaging” on a dating app.I’ll also tell you the tiny thing my husband did for our engagement anniversary that perfectly demonstrates what I mean when I say: Does he turn caring into action?Because the goal isn’t to rush love. The goal is to stop wasting time where love isn’t going.Dating Reset Training CampIf you’re tired of spending months trying to figure out whether a man is right for you, come spend three days with me inside Dating Reset Training Camp, September 15–17.We’re going to practice how to evaluate the men you’re dating, recognize the evidence that actually matters, know what deserves another date, and build your own dating strategy so you can stop wasting time on the wrong men and get better at recognizing the right one.3 days LIVE with me. $47.Join Dating Reset Training Camp: https://trainingcamp.amandacarroll.org/Because meeting the right man is only half the job. You also have to recognize him.

Dolly Parton never had to become less Dolly to be loved.When I heard the news of Dolly’s passing, I found myself reading about her nearly 60-year marriage to Carl Dean. And one thing hit me hard:Dolly became richer, more famous, more powerful, more ambitious, more flamboyant and more DOLLY.And the man she chose never seemed to require her to shrink so he could feel significant.So imagine if 20-year-old Dolly had followed some of the dating advice successful women still hear today:You’re too intimidating.You need to soften.Let him lead.Be more feminine.Imagine telling Dolly Parton to be more feminine.In this episode of The Playbook, I’m breaking down what Dolly and Carl’s love story can teach YOU about one of the most important decisions you’ll ever make: who you choose to build your life with.Because sometimes the wrong relationship doesn’t destroy your life.It quietly puts a ceiling on the life you could have built.You’ll learn:• Why choosing the right partner is about more than chemistry• How to recognize a man who is secure enough for your success• The difference between healthy compromise and slowly shrinking yourself• Why you should pay attention to how a man responds when you WIN• The two questions to ask before choosing a life partner• How to run The Dolly Play in your own dating life this weekAnd most importantly, I want you to stop asking:“Am I too much for him?”And start asking:“Who do I get to become beside this man?”You have no idea yet how big your life could become.Choose someone who gives you room to find out.Choose well.Choose like Dolly.FREE TRAINING: THE GAME PLANYou’ve spent enough time learning how to get a man to choose you. It’s time to learn how to choose HIM.Join me for The Game Plan, my free live dating training, Monday at 12pm PT / 3pm ET.I’ll teach you how to stop wasting years on the wrong men and start dating with an actual strategy for identifying the man worth choosing.Register free:https://amanda-pedone.lpcontent.net/FovJCAgsknCome live or register to get the replay.IN THIS EPISODE00:00 Dolly never had to become less Dolly02:00 Before Dolly was DOLLY05:00 Imagine if Dolly followed today’s dating advice09:00 Why Carl Dean’s security mattered12:00 The real story behind “Jolene”15:00 Sometimes the wrong relationship quietly limits your life19:00 Compromise vs. diminishment22:00 The Dolly Play23:00 Step 1: Stop asking if you’re too much24:00 Step 2: Show him something big25:00 Step 3: Watch him when you win26:00 Step 4: Test independence27:00 Step 5: Run the Future You Test29:00 The Dolly Rule31:00 Choose well. Choose like Dolly.THE DOLLY PLAYNever choose a man who requires your diminishment as the price of his love.Instead ask:Who do I get to become beside this man?And:What parts of myself would I eventually have to give up to keep this relationship peaceful?Then watch his behavior.Don’t shrink to test compatibility.Expand and watch what happens.CONNECT WITH AMANDAListen to The Playbook for intentional dating strategies designed to help you stop dating to be chosen and start dating to choose well.Subscribe so you don’t miss next week’s Play.For more dating strategy, relationship advice, and daily reminders to stop dating to be chosen and start dating to choose well, follow Amanda on TikTok and Instagram: @therealamandacarroll