The 3D Parent Podcast

DESCRIPTION:As a young parent, I was on a quest for answers, constantly seeking solutions to my child's behaviors. I believed that parenting was about applying techniques and strategies to mold my child's behavior. However, a pivotal moment came when I stumbled upon a quote by Dr. Gordon Neufeld: "Parenting is not about what you do with your child. It's about who you are to your child." This quote sparked a profound shift in my perspective. I realized that effective parenting goes beyond mere actions; it's about embodying a powerful  nurturing presence for our children. This realization led me to explore different parenting styles and to uncover the ideal dynamics in parent-child relationships. In today's episode, we'll delve into the four main types of parenting styles, examining their strengths and limitations, and lay the groundwork for our exploration of what I have coined the Nurturing Alpha role as parent. We will explore:  Characteristics of the Nurturing Alpha Role: Identifying the key traits that define this parenting approach. Skills of a Nurturing Alpha Parent: Discovering the essential skills needed to embody the Nurturing Alpha role. How to Become a Nurturing Alpha: Practical steps and insights to help you cultivate this empowering presence as a parent. Join me on this transformative journey towards becoming a Nurturing Alpha parent. Tune in to episode 104 of The 3D Parent Podcast and discover how you can embody the Nurturing Alpha role to cultivate deeper connections with your children and foster their emotional well-being.Do you have a highly sensitive child? Take the quiz to find out! https://www.the3dparent.com/quizREADY TO TAKE YOUR PARENTING TO THE NEXT LEVEL?: For 3D Parent Coaching Services: If you're looking for personalized guidance and support, consider exploring my parent coaching services. Let's work together to tailor the 3D Parent Approach to your unique parenting journey. CLICK HERE to book a complimentary parent coach consultation call. Interested in Receiving 2 Free Parent Coaching Sessions? Become a Parent Coaching Guest on the podcast and receive 2 free parent coaching sessions, one to be recorded on my podcast and one private follow-up session to check in and see how implementing the coaching strategies is going for you and your family. CLICK HERE to contact me about this opportunity and let's tackle your parenting concerns together. Your experience can inspire and support other parents facing similar struggles. CONNECT WITH ME: The 3D Parent on Instagram The 3D Parent on Facebook JOIN: The 3D Parent Lounge Private Facebook Group SHOWNOTES: Let's rewind a bit to my own journey as a parent. Like many of you, I found myself lost in a sea of conflicting advice, wondering if there was a magic formula to navigate the challenges of raising children. I voraciously consumed parenting books, hoping to uncover the secrets to managing my child's behavior, but soon realized, I was missing the mark. It wasn't about mastering the latest discipline technique or implementing rigid routines. Instead, it was about embodying a fundamental shift in perspective, one that Dr. Gordon Neufeld beautifully encapsulates: "Parenting is not about what you do with your child. It's about who you are to your child." This quote struck a chord with me, prompting a profound shift in my approach to parenting. Rather than fixating on external strategies, I began to explore the essence of my role as a parent. Who did I need to be for my child in order to effectively lead, guide, influence, and teach her? How could I cultivate a relationship built on trust, understanding, and genuine connection?This realization marked a turning point in my journey. It propelled me to delve deeper into the realm of parenting styles, seeking not just a label but a true understanding of what it means to nurture and guide a child. And that's when I stumbled upon the familiar territory of authoritarian, authoritative, permissive, and neglectful parenting styles. Let's break them down, shall we? Authoritarian parents are all about strict rules and discipline, with little room for negotiation. It's all about obedience and punishment. Authoritative parents, on the other hand, blend rules with warmth and fairness. They prioritize open communication and positive relationships while enforcing boundaries. Permissive parents take a more hands-off approach, allowing their children considerable freedom with minimal rules and boundaries.   Neglectful or uninvolved parents, sadly, provide little guidance or attention to their children's needs, resulting in a lack of nurturing and support. Among these, authoritarian parenting often takes the spotlight for its perceived effectiveness. But here's where it gets confusing – authoritarian or authoritative? Many of us, myself included, struggle to keep those terms straight. And even when we understand the style, it's not always clear how to embody it in our daily interactions with our kids. And that's where my concept of Nurturing Alpha comes in—a term I coined to encapsulate the essence of effective parenting. Think of it as a refined approach to authoritative parenting, with an emphasis on connection and leadership. A nurturing alpha embodies the qualities of a compassionate leader within the family—a blend of strength and warmth, discipline and nurturing. So, what does it mean to be a Nurturing Alpha? It's about leading with understanding, respect, and empathy—not through fear or strict rules, but through connection and compassion. It's about creating a home environment where children feel valued, secure, and understood—a place where boundaries and limits are set with love and empathy, fostering emotional growth and resilience. Characteristics of the Nurturing Alpha Role:Let's dive deeper into the essence of the Nurturing Alpha role as a parent—or even as a teacher, coach, babysitter, or nanny. This isn't just about parenting; it's about embodying a compassionate leadership style that nurtures growth and connection.Compassionate Leadership with Compassion: Someone who exudes warmth and kindness, yet commands respect and authority—that's the nurturing alpha in a nutshell. It's about striking that delicate balance between empathy and leadership, creating a safe and supportive environment for our children to thrive in. Emotional Regulation: this doesn't mean being calm and collected all the time. Emotional regulation is about mastering our own emotions so we can respond thoughtfully and appropriately to our children's needs. Whether it's a gentle reminder to stay away from a hot stove or a comforting embrace during a meltdown, a nurturing alpha knows how to navigate the emotional landscape with finesse. Attunement to Needs: Nurturing Alphas are masters of tuning in to their children's needs, both emotional and physical. They're not just reacting to behavior—they're digging deeper, understanding the root causes, and responding with sensitivity and insight. Support through Emotional Challenges: Nurturing Alphas are the rock-solid foundation that children can rely on when the going gets tough. They offer stability, strength, and unwavering support, guiding their children through life's ups and downs with love and compassion. Whether it's a scraped knee or a broken heart, they're there to lend a listening ear and a comforting hug.   Skills of a Nurturing Alpha ParentNurturing Alphas are the real MVPs of parenting, blending the best of authoritative techniques with a deep focus on building strong connections with their kids. They're like the mama bears guiding their cubs through the wilderness or the papa ducks keeping their ducklings in line on the pond. —firm yet gentle, protective yet nurturing. That's the essence of a Nurturing Alpha. Now, let's break down the key skills of Nurturing Alpha parents: Personal Skills:Confidence in Authority: Nurturing Alphas exude confidence in their role as guides rather than controllers. They stand tall, maintain eye contact, and lead by example. Well-Tempered Personality: Emotional stability is key for nurturing alphas. They keep their cool even in the face of meltdowns, preventing conflicts from escalating and maintaining harmony within the family. Attunement to Needs: These parents have a knack for tuning in to their children's needs, both emotional and physical. They're like emotional detectives, decoding behaviors and addressing deeper issues effectively. Technical Skills:Leading with Connection and Playfulness: Nurturing Alphas prioritize building strong bonds through positive interactions rather than fear or coercion. They lead with connection, using playfulness to engage with their children and strengthen their relationship. Setting Firm Boundaries with Care: While nurturing alphas set firm boundaries and limits, they also express care.Respectful boundaries are enforced to help children learn self-discipline and responsibility. Anticipating Attachment Needs: These parents proactively seek out and fulfill their children's attachment needs, trumping the need for security and affection rather than waiting for their child to come to them.Becoming a Nurturing Alpha: Becoming a Nurturing Alpha isn't about perfection—it's about progress. And trust me, you've already got what it takes to shine as a Nurturing Alpha. So, let's roll up our sleeves and talk about how we can become the Nurturing Alphas our kids need us to be.  Build  Self-Awareness and Emotional Regulation: Recognize and tame those triggers. It's all about responding thoughtfully to parenting challenges without losing your cool. Seek support from coaches or therapists to help you understand and manage your emotional hot buttons. Practicing Empathy and Active Listening: Remember, our kids are still learning the ropes of this whole emotions thing. Practice empathy and active listening to truly understand what's driving their behaviors. Be curious, not judgmental, and dive below the surface to uncover

In this week's episode of The 3D Parent Podcast, we welcome Meghan Leahy, noted parenting columnist for The Washington Post and author of the book, Parenting Outside the Lines. Meghan's columns resonate with readers through their insightful, practical advice on parenting. This episode offers a glimpse into her motivations for pursuing a career as a parent coach and columnist, along with key moments that shaped her approach to parental guidance. We will discuss the significant challenges that today’s parents encounter, particularly in fostering deeper connections with their children and managing expectations for acknowledgment and appreciation. Join us for a thoughtful conversation with Meghan Leahy, as we explore effective strategies for navigating the complexities of parenthood. Do you have a highly sensitive child? Click the link below to take the quiz to find out! https://www.the3dparent.com/quizREADY TO TAKE YOUR PARENTING TO THE NEXT LEVEL?: For 3D Parent Coaching Services: If you're looking for personalized guidance and support, consider exploring my parent coaching services. Let's work together to tailor the 3D Parent Approach to your unique parenting journey. CLICK HERE to book a complimentary parent coach consultation call. Interested in Receiving 2 Free Parent Coaching Sessions? Become a Parent Coaching Guest on the podcast and receive 2 free parent coaching sessions, one to be recorded on my podcast and one private follow-up session to check in and see how implementing the coaching strategies is going for you and your family. CLICK HERE to contact me about this opportunity and let's tackle your parenting concerns together. Your experience can inspire and support other parents facing similar struggles. CONNECT WITH ME: The 3D Parent on Instagram The 3D Parent on Facebook JOIN: The 3D Parent Lounge Private Facebook Group                                                                                                                                                                                        Connect with Meghan: Website: Meghan Leahy Parent Coach Facebook: Meghan Leahy Parent Coach Book: Meghan Leahy - Parenting Outside the Lines Podcast: Meghan’s Substack | Meghan Leahy | Substack   SHOWNOTES: Today, we're stepping "outside the lines” with special guest, Meghan Leahy, a multifaceted individual juggling the roles of parent, writer, coach, and lover of reality TV. Meghan brings a wealth of experience to the table as a parent to three children, two dogs, and a devoted partner of 23 years. With a diverse background encompassing numerous degrees, certifications, and trainings, Meghan humbly acknowledges that the more she learns, the less she feels she knows. She wears many hats, including that of a parent coach, author of the insightful book "Parenting Outside the Lines," and a parenting columnist at The Washington Post. She's also deeply rooted in Zen Buddhism and is often found soaking up the sun on a beach. Meghan Leahy’s  journey into the world of parenting coaching and writing is a tale of transformation, fueled by a deep understanding of the struggles many families face. As she candidly shares, she wasn't the model child; in fact, she was the kid who challenged every behavioral norm in the book. For her parents, navigating her adolescence was akin to a high-wire act without a safety net. It's this firsthand experience of being the impossible kid to parent that fuels Meghan's passion for supporting parents today. She understands the frustration, the exhaustion, and the overwhelming love that accompanies raising a challenging child. And it's this empathy that forms the foundation of her coaching philosophy. But Meghan's journey wasn't a straight path from rebellious teenager to parenting expert. She stumbled into teaching after college, only to realize that her penchant for honesty and authenticity didn't always align with the rigid structures of academia. Yet, it was during her time as a teacher that she discovered her gift for connecting with young people on a deeper level. Her journey took a decisive turn when students began confiding in her about sensitive topics like relationships and sexuality. Meghan realized that she needed more than just a teaching degree to support these kids effectively. So, she pursued further education, earning a counseling degree from Johns Hopkins University. Armed with a newfound understanding of family dynamics and human behavior, Meghan embarked on a journey of self-discovery. She attended parenting classes, volunteered in her community, and eventually became a certified parenting coach. And it's this openness to the organic flow of life that defines Meghan's approach to parenting and coaching. She doesn't believe in one-size-fits-all solutions or cookie-cutter advice. Instead, she encourages parents to trust their intuition, embrace the messiness of parenthood, and stay open to the unexpected twists and turns along the way. In her column for the Washington Post and her book, "Parenting Outside the Lines," Meghan brings this same spirit of authenticity and openness to her writing. She tackles tough questions with compassion and offers insights that challenge conventional wisdom. Her responses are refreshingly unpredictable, reflecting her belief that there's no single right answer when it comes to parenting. Meghan's Take on the Biggest Obstacles Modern Parents Encounter in Building Meaningful Connections with their Children: In today's fast-paced world, parenting has become a high-stakes balancing act, with challenges that seem to multiply by the day. From juggling work demands to managing screen time battles, modern parents are facing obstacles that previous generations could hardly imagine. But what are the biggest obstacles that parents face today, and how do they impact our ability to forge meaningful connections with our children? According to Meghan, one of the biggest obstacles facing parents today is the lack of support systems. In our society, we're bombarded with messages about what it means to be a good parent, yet we're provided with scant resources and support once the baby arrives. From inadequate childcare options to a lack of community networks, parents are often left feeling isolated and overwhelmed. But perhaps the biggest hurdle of all, in Meghan's opinion, is the pressure to conform to a singular, idealized version of parenting, often perpetuated by folks writing, talking, and sharing on social media. In a country as diverse as ours, with myriad cultures, religions, and belief systems, there's no one-size-fits-all approach to raising children. Yet, we're bombarded with conflicting advice and judgments, leaving us feeling like we're constantly falling short. Adding fuel to the fire are the systemic problems that plague our society, from unworkable work-life balances to racism to the ever-present pull of technology. As Meghan observes, we live in a world where our kids are simultaneously expected to excel academically while being bombarded with screens from dawn till dusk. It's a recipe for confusion and frustration, with parents caught in the crossfire. But amidst these challenges, Meghan urges parents to resist the pressure to conform to unrealistic standards and instead focus on what truly matters: nurturing meaningful connections with their children.  In the ever-evolving landscape of parenting, one of the most profound lessons we can learn is the power of losing our balance. It may sound counterintuitive, but as Meghan Lahey eloquently puts it, feeling unsure is not a sign of weakness; it's a sign that you're actively engaged in the act of parenting. Take, for instance, Meghan’s analogy of a tree pose in yoga—a moment of precarious balance where the only certainty is that you will inevitably fall. But what if falling out of the pose was not seen as a failure, but rather an opportunity for growth? This is the essence of parenting outside the lines: embracing uncertainty, navigating challenges with grace, and finding wisdom in moments of vulnerability. In her book, Meghan explores the idea that parenting is not about having all the answers or achieving perfect outcomes. Rather, it's about cultivating a mindset of curiosity, resilience, and compassion. It's about recognizing that parenting is messy, unpredictable, and profoundly human. And in those moments when we feel most uncertain, we have an opportunity to tap into our intuition and wisdom, rather than seeking external validation or quick fixes. This perspective challenges the prevailing notion that every misstep or moment of uncertainty is a failure. Instead, Meghan encourages parents to approach parenting with a sense of openness and humility, recognizing that there is no one "right" way to raise a child. It's about embracing the journey, with all its twists and turns, and trusting in our ability to navigate the challenges as they arise. Part of this journey involves redefining our definitions of “emergencies” in parenting. In a world where every missed homework assignment or skipped practice feels like a crisis, Meghan reminds us to prioritize what truly matters. Drawing on Ross Green's model of problem-solving, she encourages parents to discern between genuine emergencies and everyday challenges that can be addressed with patience, compassion, and collaboration. And perhaps most importantly, Meghan emphasizes the importance of resilience and self-compassion in the parenting journey. She acknowledges that we will inevitably make mistakes, but it's how we respond to those mistakes that matters most. How do we let go of a desire for gratitude and validation from our children? In our conversation, we touched upon the subtle yet significant desire we parents can have for appreciation and gratitude from our children. As parents, we pour our hearts and souls into nurturing our children, from preparing meals to chauffeuring them around town. Yet, when our efforts seem unnoticed or u

Description: Does your child drag their feet when it's time to hit the books or complete chores? Or do you ever find yourself scratching your head, wondering how to get them out of bed in the morning or to convince them to maintain basic hygiene habits? Whatever the case, motivation isn't always easy, even for adults. We all have moments when we struggle to find the drive to tackle certain tasks. So how can we make sense of this challenge when it arises in our children? That's precisely what we're going to uncover today!  In this episode, we'll explore the various factors that can contribute to a child's lack of motivation. From neurodivergent conditions like ADHD and autism to social challenges, learning disabilities, and even mental health issues like anxiety and depression.But more importantly, we'll discuss: The pitfalls of lecturing, shaming, minimizing the child's struggles, and engaging in power struggles. Understanding the concept of neuroplasticity and how positive thoughts and beliefs can wire the brain for positivity. The importance of deep connections between parents and children and how we can use this connection to foster a sense of purpose, and empower children to find their own solutions. Introducing the concept of a Motivation Menu as a tool to enhance motivation, energy, and focus by incorporating activities that stimulate the release of dopamine. Let's dive in and discover how we can help our children unlock their potential and embrace a more motivated approach to life. Tune in to learn how you can make a positive difference in your child's journey toward greater motivation and fulfillment. READY TO TAKE YOUR PARENTING TO THE NEXT LEVEL? For 3D Parent Coaching Services: If you're looking for personalized guidance and support, consider exploring my parent coaching services. Let's work together to tailor the 3D Parent Approach to your unique parenting journey. CLICK HERE to book a complimentary parent coach consultation call. Interested in Receiving 2 Free Parent Coaching Sessions? Become a Parent Coaching Guest on the podcast and receive 2 free parent coaching sessions, one to be recorded on my podcast and one private follow-up session to check in and see how implementing the coaching strategies is going for you and your family. CLICK HERE to contact me about this opportunity and let's tackle your parenting concerns together. Your experience can inspire and support other parents facing similar struggles. CONNECT WITH ME: The 3D Parent on Instagram The 3D Parent on Facebook JOIN: The 3D Parent Lounge Private Facebook Group Episode Resources:  ***CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD YOUR MOTIVATION MENU COPY*** Article: https://drsandygluckman.com/why-your-child-is-unmotivated-and-what-to-do-about-it/ Jessica McCabe Video:  “How to Give Your Brain the Stimulation it Needs”. Article: https://www.parentingforbrain.com/how-to-get-kids-to-do-chores/ Article: https://www.edutopia.org/article/reframing-rewire-student-brains/#:~:text=Neuroplasticity%20is%20how%20our%20nervous,well%2Dbeing%20in%20all%20moments. Article: https://www.edutopia.org/article/reframing-rewire-student-brains/# SHOWNOTES: In this episode of the 3D Parent podcast, we're going to delve into this common challenge, exploring the various reasons why children may struggle with motivation and, most importantly, what we can do to support them.Before we jump into solutions, let's remember that struggling with motivation is a common issue, and it doesn't mean that your child is destined for a lifetime of apathy. By understanding the root causes and implementing some practical tips, we can help ignite that spark of motivation within them. So, why might your child be lacking motivation? Well, there are several factors to consider. Firstly, it could be something inherent to their individual makeup. Conditions like ADHD, autism, anxiety, or depression can all play a significant role in how motivated a child feels. These conditions can affect their ability to focus, regulate emotions, or perceive tasks as overwhelming. Now, let's roll up our sleeves and get down to business. When it comes to understanding why children struggle with motivation, it's essential to adopt a multidimensional perspective. Here at the 3D Parent podcast, we like to break it down into three key questions, starting with our own children.1. Is it my child?The first question we need to ask ourselves is, "Is it my child?" Sometimes, what we perceive as a lack of motivation in our children may actually be rooted in underlying issues such as ADHD, anxiety, depression, or learning disabilities. These challenges can significantly impact a child's ability to stay focused and engaged, making it essential for us to observe and assess any potential barriers hindering their motivation. Additionally, factors like self-esteem, frustration tolerance, and boredom threshold can also influence a child's motivation levels. Children who struggle with low self-esteem may doubt their abilities and feel discouraged from even attempting tasks, while those with a low frustration tolerance may give up easily when faced with challenges. Similarly, children with a low boredom threshold may resist activities that don't immediately captivate their interest. 2. Is it me? The next question we need to consider is, "Is it me?" Sometimes, our own expectations as parents can inadvertently contribute to our children's perceived lack of motivation. We may place undue pressure on them to excel academically or perform exceptionally in extracurricular activities, without considering their individual interests and priorities. It's essential to align our expectations with our children's goals and aspirations, fostering a supportive environment where they feel empowered to pursue their passions on their terms. Furthermore, our own ability to manage frustration and stress can also impact our children's motivation levels. If we find ourselves focusing on our children's apparent lack of motivation as a way to avoid addressing our own sources of stress or frustration, it's essential to engage in some introspection and work on managing our own expectations. By modeling resilience and flexibility, we can create a positive atmosphere where our children feel encouraged to explore their interests and take ownership of their goals. 3. Is it us?  Lastly, we need to ask ourselves, "Is it us?" Sometimes, our children's resistance to certain tasks may stem from a desire for autonomy and independence. They may feel stifled by our attempts to control or micromanage their actions, leading to a sense of rebellion rather than genuine motivation. Now, let's talk solutions. So, let's say you've done your homework and identified that, yes, your child is struggling with motivation. What's next? Well, first things first, let's talk about what NOT to do. Avoid lecturing or shaming your child for their lack of motivation. This only serves to shut them down further and damage your relationship with them. Instead, validate their feelings and offer support and understanding. Avoid fighting over tasks or minimizing their struggle. Recognize that we all have different strengths and weaknesses, and it's okay for your child to find certain things challenging. Avoid rescuing your child from their struggles or over-accommodating. Let them experience the natural consequences of their actions (or lack thereof), as this can be a powerful motivator for change. And finally,Avoid relying too heavily on external rewards or punishments to motivate your child. While these tactics may work in the short term, they can hinder the development of intrinsic motivation in the long run. Now that we've covered what to avoid, let's talk about what you CAN do to support your child. Seek Professional Help: If you suspect that your child's lack of motivation may be due to underlying issues such as ADHD, learning disabilities, or mental health struggles, don't hesitate to seek professional help. Early intervention and support can make all the difference in helping your child overcome these challenges. If your child's motivation struggles are impacting their performance at school, don't hesitate to reach out to teachers, school counselors, or resource support specialists.  Address Self-Esteem: Focus on helping your child build self-esteem and a positive mindset. Encourage them to set achievable goals and work towards them. Celebrate their successes, no matter how small, and remind them of their strengths and abilities. Introduce Neuroplasticity: This fascinating area of neuroscience teaches us that our brains are capable of change and growth throughout our lives. Teach your child to the concept of neuroplasticity to help them understand how their thoughts shape their reality. Utilize Positive Reinforcements Sparingly: Extrinsic motivators like sticker charts and rewards can be effective in the short term but may not foster long-term intrinsic motivation. Use them strategically for specific tasks or goals but focus on building internal motivation over time. Building Intrinsic Motivation Through Relationships: Deepening your connection with your child can be a powerful motivator in itself. By nurturing a strong bond, you can instill a sense of responsibility and altruism that drives your child to take action out of love and care. Embracing Body Doubling: Body doubling, or doing tasks together with your child, can make daunting tasks feel more manageable. Whether it's tackling chores or homework, being present and supportive can help motivate your child to get things done. Empowering Your Child: Finally, empower your child to find their solutions by creating a "motivation menu." Encourage them to identify activities or tasks they enjoy and use them as rewards or incentives for completing less desirable tasks. By giving them a sense of autonomy and control, you can tap into their natural motivation and drive.   So, what exactly is a motivation menu? Before we dig into t

DESCRIPTION:Welcome back to another episode of our podcast, And I'm thrilled to have Sarah Moore back with us, an expert in conscious parenting, founder of Dandelion Seeds Positive Parenting, and author of "Peaceful Discipline: Story Teaching, Brain Science & Better Behavior." If you're tuning in again, you might remember Sarah from a fantastic chat we had a while back about fostering healthy sleep habits for our kids. That was Episode 72, in case you're feeling nostalgic and want to give it another listen. Now, I'm super excited to bring Sarah back on board for another riveting discussion, this time diving into the gifts of highly sensitive children. Points we will discuss:• Why people tend to have a negative view of high sensitivity• The positive aspects of sensitivity• Some of the mistakes parents make when they have a sensitive child• How parents can nurture the gifts that come with high sensitivity If you're intrigued by our discussion and want to learn more about supporting highly sensitive children, be sure to tune in to the full episode with Sarah Moore. And don't forget to check out her book, "Peaceful Discipline: Story Teaching, Brain Science & Better Behavior," for valuable insights and strategies. Do you have a highly sensitive child? Take the quiz to find out! https://www.the3dparent.com/quizREADY TO TAKE YOUR PARENTING TO THE NEXT LEVEL?: For 3D Parent Coaching Services: If you're looking for personalized guidance and support, consider exploring my parent coaching services. Let's work together to tailor the 3D Parent Approach to your unique parenting journey. CLICK HERE to book a complimentary parent coach consultation call. Interested in Receiving 2 Free Parent Coaching Sessions? Become a Parent Coaching Guest on the podcast and receive 2 free parent coaching sessions, one to be recorded on my podcast and one private follow-up session to check in and see how implementing the coaching strategies is going for you and your family. CLICK HERE to contact me about this opportunity and let's tackle your parenting concerns together. Your experience can inspire and support other parents facing similar struggles. CONNECT WITH ME: The 3D Parent on Instagram The 3D Parent on Facebook JOIN: The 3D Parent Lounge Private Facebook Group Episode Resources: Sarah’s Book: Peaceful Discipline: Story Teaching, Brain Science & Better Behavior Get exclusive discounts to Sarah’s  programs: Dandelion Seeds Positive Parenting - Dandelion Seeds Positive Parenting Connect with Sarah: IG: https://www.instagram.com/dandelionseedspositiveliving/ FB: https://www.facebook.com/DandelionSeedsPositiveParenting YT: Dandelion Seeds Positive Parenting TikTok: DandelionSeedsPositiveParentin's Creator Profile Pinterest: Dandelion Seeds Positive Parenting Threads: Sarah R. Moore 🌟 Author & Conscious Parenting Trainer...SHOWNOTES: Remember when Sarah and I delved into sustainable sleep habits for kids in episode 72? Well, this time around, Sarah and I are back to tackle another essential parenting topic: highly sensitive children and their incredible gifts. Now, as I relaunched the podcast, I knew I wanted Sarah back to explore another parenting topic. When I asked her what she was passionate about discussing, she suggested diving into the world of highly sensitive children and their parents. And guess what? I was all in!  Like many of us, Sarah's upbringing was shaped by a highly sensitive parent—her single mom. Growing up in that environment, Sarah not only inherited her mother's sensitivity but also witnessed firsthand the challenges and strengths it brought. Why do people tend to have a negative view of high sensitivity?In my recent conversation with Sarah, she shed some light on why people tend to have a negative view of high sensitivity. Sara’s perspective is that part of the problem lies in the misconception that all sensitivity is the same. She continued by sharing that there are two distinct types: highly sensitive and hypersensitive. And understanding the difference is key to shifting the narrative around high sensitivity. Sarah mentioned that highly sensitive children possess a temperament trait that they're born with. It's not something they can change any more than they can change their eye color or their natural inclination to be introverted or extroverted. This sensitivity is measurable on brain scans and is simply part of who they are. On the other hand, hypersensitivity is an adaptive behavior, often stemming from a lack of emotional support and validation during childhood. These are the children who believe they have to exhibit big, dramatic behaviors just to get noticed. They may have learned that they aren’t safe or valued unless they express themselves  in extreme ways. And here's where the misconception arises—people tend to lump all sensitive behaviors into one category, assuming that every sensitive child is hypersensitive. But that couldn't be further from the truth. Highly sensitive children may indeed have big feelings, but it's not the same as consistently exhibiting negative behaviors as a result of learned hypersensitivity. So, why does this distinction matter? Well, it shapes how we approach and support these children. Highly sensitive children thrive in environments that validate and nurture their sensitivity, whereas hypersensitive children may require additional support to unlearn negative behaviors and build healthier coping mechanisms. Are there positive aspects of sensitivity? If so, what are they? I kicked off this part of the discussion by acknowledging the common tendency to view high sensitivity through a lens of struggle and difficulty, particularly from a parenting standpoint. When parents seek guidance, it's often because they're grappling with how to navigate their child's unique temperament within a world that may not readily accommodate it. But, as I emphasized, it's essential to shift the narrative away from labeling traits as inherently positive or negative. Instead, explore the multifaceted gifts that high sensitivity brings to the table. Sarah emphasized that just as we don't categorize emotions as strictly positive or negative, the same principle applies to high sensitivity. Instead, she suggests looking at the unique strengths and gifts that come with it. Among these gifts are: Empathy: Highly sensitive children often display an exceptional capacity for empathy, extending beyond their years. They deeply understand and care about the feelings and needs of others, demonstrating compassion from a young age. Creativity: Many highly sensitive children are naturally inclined towards creativity, excelling in artistic pursuits such as music, dance, and visual arts. Compassion: Tied closely to empathy, these children show a heightened sensitivity to the suffering of others, both humans and animals, and are driven to alleviate it. Intuition: Highly sensitive children possess a strong intuition, often making wise decisions based on gut feelings. This intuition can extend beyond conventional understanding, leading to insights that seem almost supernatural. Detail-oriented: They are keen observers, noticing subtleties and nuances that others might overlook. This attention to detail fosters a deeper understanding of the world around them. Deep thinkers: Highly sensitive children tend to ponder complex issues from a young age, grappling with moral questions and societal injustices. Their introspective nature often leads to profound insights and convictions. Leadership with empathy: Empathetic leadership, a rare but invaluable trait, is often found in highly sensitive individuals. These leaders prioritize compassion and understanding, fostering inclusive and supportive environments. Sarah adds another layer to the discussion by highlighting the importance of nurturing highly sensitive children's ability to trust themselves. When empowered to trust their intuition and inner wisdom, these children develop a strong sense of self-confidence and authenticity. They become adept at navigating life's challenges with grace and resilience, unafraid to stand up for what they believe in. However, Sarah also offers a word of caution to parents and caregivers.  While the capacity for deep empathy and connection is indeed a gift, it can also leave highly sensitive individuals vulnerable to exploitation or burnout if boundaries are not established. Teaching children discernment is crucial, ensuring they invest their emotional energy in relationships that are mutually supportive and healthy. Understanding and celebrating the gifts of highly sensitive children is essential for their healthy development. By recognizing their unique strengths and nurturing their self-trust, caregivers can empower these children to thrive in a world that may not always understand them. Through empathy, creativity, intuition, and compassionate leadership, highly sensitive individuals have the potential to make profound contributions to society while cultivating rich, fulfilling relationships along the way. Understanding the unique needs and common parenting mistakes with highly sensitive children:  Highly sensitive children experience emotions in a big way. Think of it like turning up the volume on your feelings. The highs are higher—the joy, the connection, the happiness—they're all dialed up a notch. But, on the flip side, the lows can feel more intense too. Anger, grief, frustration—they're all part of the package. Now, as parents, it's crucial that we create a safe space for our children to express these emotions. Rather than dismissing or minimizing their feelings, we need to validate them. This is their reality, and by accepting and acknowledging their emotions, we help them feel heard and understood. One of the key traits of highly sensitive children is their incredible capacity for empathy. Even at a young age, they're attuned to the emotions of others, often picking up on subtle cues that others might miss. I remember Sara

DESCRIPTION: Hello, wonderful listeners, and welcome to a special milestone episode, the 100th edition of the 3D Parent Podcast! First and foremost, I want to extend my heartfelt gratitude to each and every one of you. Your support, your feedback, and your dedication to listening to this podcast have been the driving force behind its success. It's your enthusiasm that fuels my passion for sharing valuable insights and guidance on parenting through each episode. In today's fast-paced world, it's easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of daily life. But amidst the chaos, it's essential to recognize and address our children's innate need for connection. They crave our time, our attention, and most importantly, our presence. And that's where the 100 Minute Connection Challenge comes in. Now, for this momentous episode, I wanted to switch things up a bit and stay true to the theme of 100. So, I've devised an exciting challenge for you – the 100 Minute Connection Challenge. This challenge is designed to inspire you to deepen the bonds with your children over the course of a week. Because let's face it, one of the most vital aspects of parenting is nurturing a strong, secure, and heartfelt connection with our kids. Throughout this episode, I'll be sharing all the details of this challenge, including how it works and what you can expect. But wait, there's more! I've also created a downloadable PDF bingo board, with a link to download found in the show notes. This bingo board serves two purposes: to inject an element of fun into the challenge and to hold yourself accountable for completing the 100 minutes of connection activities with your child in the coming week. READY TO TAKE YOUR PARENTING TO THE NEXT LEVEL?: For 3D Parent Coaching Services: If you're looking for personalized guidance and support, consider exploring my parent coaching services. Let's work together to tailor the 3D Parent Approach to your unique parenting journey. CLICK HERE to book a complimentary parent coach consultation call. Interested in Receiving 2 Free Parent Coaching Sessions? Become a Parent Coaching Guest on the podcast and receive 2 free parent coaching sessions, one to be recorded on my podcast and one private follow-up session to check in and see how implementing the coaching strategies is going for you and your family. CLICK HERE to contact me about this opportunity and let's tackle your parenting concerns together. Your experience can inspire and support other parents facing similar struggles. CONNECT WITH ME: The 3D Parent on Instagram The 3D Parent on Facebook JOIN: The 3D Parent Lounge Private Facebook Group Episode Resources: CLICK HERE to Download The 100 Minute Connection Challenge Bingo Board PDF  Book: “Hold On to Your Kids” by Gordon Neufeld, Ph. D. and Gabor Maté, M.D. Blog: www.71toes.com CLICK HERE: Episode 87 of The 3D Parent Podcast: Parenting with Deep Connection SHOWNOTES: Hello and welcome to Episode 100 of the 3D Parent Podcast! Can you believe it? We've hit the big 100! I'm genuinely thrilled to have reached this milestone, and I'm deeply grateful for your continued support and engagement. So, to mark this special occasion, I wanted to do something meaningful, something that reflects the essence of what this podcast is all about: nurturing strong connections between parents and their children. I've been pondering what to do for this significant episode, and I wanted to keep it aligned with our theme of 100. Hence, I present to you the 100 Minute Connection Challenge – a week-long challenge dedicated to strengthening the bond between you and your child. Why this challenge? By dedicating just 100 minutes of your week to intentionally connect with your child, their behavior will become more manageable, meltdowns will become less frequent, and the overall atmosphere at home will become more harmonious. Sounds pretty amazing, right?Connection is at the core of what I talk about on the 3D Parent Podcast. It's one of the 4 key components of my 3D Parent Model – Deep Connection. And for good reason! Human beings, especially children, thrive on meaningful connections, particularly with their primary caregivers. When that bond is strong, children flourish and grow. But when it's lacking or superficial, it's noticeable in the relationship dynamic. That's why I'm challenging you to give this 100 Minute Connection Challenge a go. Trust me, I've seen firsthand the incredible impact it can have. In my one-on-one parent coaching sessions, I often start with focusing on connection because many behavioral issues stem from relational issues. When parents prioritize connecting with their children, those challenges often start to fade away. Now, let's talk about why this challenge is impactful, especially in today's world. Our children are craving connection more than ever. In our busy lives filled with work, school, activities, and endless distractions, it's easy to overlook the importance of quality time spent with our kids. Sure, you might be spending time together with your children, but how much of that time is truly focused on genuine connection? Often, our interactions with our children revolve around tasks and obligations. We're busy ticking off to-do lists rather than simply enjoying each other's company. That's where the 100 Minute Connection Challenge comes in. It's a reminder to slow down and prioritize moments of genuine connection. And don't let the seemingly small timeframe fool you. 100 minutes spread out over a week may not sound like much, but when it's dedicated solely to bonding with your child, it can make a world of difference. But before we dive into the specifics of the challenge, let's take a moment to understand the signs of connection hunger in our children. Dr. Gordon Neufeld's work on attachment stages sheds light on this topic, highlighting six key stages: proximity, sameness, belonging/loyalty, significance, love, and being known. When children are craving connection, they may exhibit behaviors such as separation anxiety, clinginess, insecurity, or a constant need for attention. These are all signs that they're working to fulfill their attachment needs, seeking reassurance and closeness from their primary caregivers. As parents, it's crucial for us to recognize these signs and respond with empathy and understanding. Instead of viewing them as attention-seeking behaviors, we should see them as signals of unmet needs, a call for connection and reassurance in a world that often feels overwhelming. So, what can we do to address this connection hunger and create a more secure attachment with our children? It starts with restoring a sense of rest – a state where our children feel safe, supported, and free from the burden of seeking our attention through problematic behaviors. When our children are in this state of rest, we'll see them thriving, exploring, and embracing their true selves. That's the essence of childhood – to be free to grow and discover without the burden of seeking connection. And as parents, it's our responsibility to nurture a foundation of trust and unconditional love with our children. Strategy for Providing Rest in Relationship “Trumping the Needs” This is one of my absolute favorite strategies for fostering deeper connections with our children. This concept, derived from the work of Dr. Gordon Neufeld, is a game-changer for parents who notice their children exhibiting what we call "working behaviors." You know, those signs that they're seeking connection and attention from us.Trumping the needs is all about shifting away from the typical parent-child dynamic. Instead of waiting for our children to come to us with their needs and demands, we take the proactive approach. We seek them out. We initiate the connection. We pursue our kids with intention and enthusiasm. Now, if you're interested in delving deeper into this topic, I highly recommend checking out episode number 87 of the 3D Parent Podcast. In that episode, I explore the six stages of attachment in detail and offer insights on how to identify and address them. But for now, let's focus on trumping the needs. Let’s say, your child hasn't asked for a hug, but you sense they could use one. So, you go ahead and give them a big, warm hug before they even realize they need it. That's trumping the needs in action. By being proactive in our approach to connection, we can fill our children's connection cups before they even know they're empty. But it doesn't stop there. Another aspect of trumping the needs is going above and beyond what's requested. Let's say your child asks for a bedtime story. Instead of simply reading a book, you make it an interactive adventure, complete with sound effects and character voices. You exceed their expectations and make the experience even more special. Or perhaps your child randomly tells you they love you. Instead of just saying "I love you too," you respond with "I love you to infinity and beyond," borrowing a line from Buzz Lightyear in Toy Story. It's these little moments of going the extra mile that can truly strengthen the bond between parent and child.Now, on to the 100 Minute challenge:Let's talk about diving into this 100-minute challenge I've prepared for you. The goal? To amp up your efforts in connecting with your children over the span of a week. Think of it as a little gift to yourself and your kids – a chance to strengthen those bonds and create some magical moments together. Now, I know what you might be thinking: "But I have more than one child! How do I make this work without leaving anyone out?" Well, here's the trick: while I encourage you to spread the love across all your kids, I also suggest focusing extra attention on one child, especially if you're feeling a bit disconnected from them lately. Think about it like this: choose the child you're currently struggling with the most in terms of your relationship. That child who seems to bring out the most friction or oppositio

DESCRIPTION: Hey there, wonderful parents, and welcome back to the 3D Parent Podcast! Joining me today is Natasha, a supermom raising two incredible girls, ages seven and eleven. Natasha kicks off our session by sharing her concerns about her tween daughters' growing fascination with trends, brands, and materialistic values. She's noticing shifts in her behavior, from sweetness to occasional sassiness, and she's feeling the strain on their once-close relationship. Natasha also wonders about finding the delicate balance between offering support and letting her daughters navigate their own paths as they grow up. These are common challenges many parents face as their children transition from childhood to adolescence. Here are the burning topics what we'll cover: Trend-Oriented Culture: We'll explore how to navigate the materialistic trends that seem to dominate tween culture and discuss ways to instill deeper values beyond brand names. Managing Sass and Sensitivity: Natasha's facing the challenge of balancing her daughter's sweet, sensitive side with those moments of unexpected rudeness. We'll share some practical tips for maintaining a strong, respectful relationship during this “rollercoaster” phase. How Much to Intervene vs. Empower Independent Problem Solving: We'll delve into the delicate art of knowing when to step in and when to step back, offering insights on providing support without smothering independence as our tweens navigate the ups and downs of life. The emotional rollercoaster of tweenhood can sometimes lead to unexpected behavior, leaving us parents wondering how to handle those off-cuff rude moments without losing the precious bond we share with our child. Throughout this episode, we'll explore how to strike a delicate balance between setting boundaries and maintaining a strong, supportive relationship with our tweens. READY TO TAKE YOUR PARENTING TO THE NEXT LEVEL? For 3D Parent Coaching Services: If you're looking for personalized guidance and support, consider exploring my parent coaching services. CLICK HERE to book a complimentary parent coach consultation call. Interested in Receiving 2 Free Parent Coaching Sessions? Become a Parent Coaching Guest on the podcast and receive 2 free parent coaching sessions, one to be recorded on my podcast and one private follow-up session. CLICK HERE to contact me about this opportunity and let's tackle your parenting concerns together.CONNECT WITH ME: Follow: The 3D Parent on Instagram Follow: The 3D Parent on Facebook Join: The 3D Parent Lounge Private Facebook Group Email: Contact Me SHOWNOTES: Let me introduce you to our guest, Natasha. Natasha is a super mom, raising two incredible girls—one almost seven and the other newly 11. As a fellow mom and friend, Natasha and I often find ourselves deep in conversation about the joys and struggles of parenting tweens. And today, we're inviting you to join in on the conversation as we tackle some of the challenges Natasha is facing. Let's address Natasha's concerns, one by one. First up, the trend-oriented nature of today's youth. It's no secret that tweens are heavily influenced by trends, from fashion to technology to social media. But how do we navigate this trend-centric culture without losing sight of what truly matters? Next, we'll tackle the rollercoaster of emotions that come with tweenhood. Natasha's concern about her oldest daughter's sudden mood swings is one that many parents can relate to. We'll discuss ways to navigate these hormonal changes with empathy and understanding, maintaining a strong parent-child bond even in the face of off-cuff rude moments. And finally, the age-old question: when to step back and when to step in? As our tweens grow older, it can be challenging to find the balance between independence and support. We'll explore strategies for knowing when to give our tweens space to navigate challenges on their own and when to offer a helping hand, whether it's in navigating friendships, schoolwork, or other areas of their lives. Before we dive into the nitty-gritty of tween development, let's take a moment to reflect on a simple yet powerful approach to addressing parenting challenges. When faced with any issue, whether it's with our kids or within ourselves, it's helpful to ask three fundamental questions: Is it my child? Is it me? Is it us? As we explore the questions Natasha raised, it becomes clear that the challenges she's facing are multifaceted and deeply rooted in her daughter's developmental stage. So, let's roll up our sleeves and dig deeper into understanding the complexities of tweenhood together. At the heart of Natasha's concerns lies the developmental stage her daughter is currently navigating: early adolescence. At the age of 11, tweens, like Natasha's daughter, are embarking on a journey of self-discovery marked by significant changes in brain development. During this phase, the brain undergoes what can be described as "renovations." Neural pathways are pruned and restructured, particularly in the prefrontal cortex—the region responsible for impulse control, risk assessment, and emotional regulation. However, this remodeling process doesn't reach completion until the mid-20s, leaving tweens and teens with a brain that's still a work in progress. One key takeaway from this is understanding the challenges tweens face in regulating their emotions. Unlike adults, tweens struggle to hold multiple feelings in mind simultaneously. Instead, they often react impulsively to strong emotional impulses, much like their preschool selves. This limitation in emotional regulation is not a sign of defiance or disrespect but rather a reflection of their brain's developmental stage. Parenting modern tweens is challenging, but  let's take a moment to reflect on the pivotal role you play in your tween's life. As we guide our tweens through the ups and downs of adolescence, it's essential to embody a “S.P.A.A.,” that’s an acronym I created to represent a parent who is a Supportive, Pleasant, Approachable Adult—a S.P.A.A. So, what exactly does it take to be a S.P.A.A.? Let's break it down: Don't Take Moodiness Personally: Tweens and teens are notorious for their mood swings, but remember, it's not about you. As a S.P.A.A., refrain from taking their moodiness personally and instead approach them with empathy and understanding. Avoid Making Them Feel Responsible: Your child's feelings, reactions, and mistakes are their own. As a S.P.A.A., resist the urge to burden them with your emotions or make them feel responsible for your reactions. Respect Their Space: Understand that your tween may not always want to talk, and that's okay. Be present, but don't pressure them to open up. Make yourself available when they're ready to share, without bombarding them with questions. Be Curious, Not Judgmental: When your child makes decisions or declarations that may not align with your preferences, approach it with curiosity rather than judgment. Show genuine interest in their perspective and respect their autonomy. Offer Support Without Being Overbearing: As a S.P.A.A., refrain from constantly offering suggestions or trying to fix every problem. Instead, be a supportive presence and offer guidance only when explicitly asked or consented to. Embrace Imperfection: Mistakes and failures are part of the learning process. Encourage your tween to view setbacks as opportunities for growth, rather than expecting perfection. Encourage Their Ideas: Avoid dismissing your tween's ideas as unrealistic or idealistic. Instead, validate their creativity and encourage them to explore their interests and passions. Avoid Threats and Punishments: Developmentally normal behaviors such as moodiness or mistakes should not be met with threats or punishments. As a S.P.A.A., focus on constructive communication and problem-solving. Be a Listener: Finally, prioritize listening over lecturing. Your tween doesn't need a world-class lecturer—they need a supportive and attentive listener who validates their feelings and experiences. Navigating a Trend-Oriented Culture with your Tween:When your tween expresses a desire for the latest trend or brand, it's essential to engage them in a conversation rather than passing judgment. Ask probing questions to understand their motivations better. Why do they want that specific item? What draws them to that brand? By fostering open dialogue, you can gain insight into your tween's mindset without imposing your opinions. While it's natural to have concerns about materialism and consumerism, it's essential to approach the situation with empathy. Remember, we live in a society inundated with marketing messages and peer influences. Instead of criticizing your tween's choices, use these moments as opportunities for meaningful conversations. Moreover, when it comes to purchasing high-ticket items like Sephora products or designer clothing, consider the occasion and your budget. If it aligns with your financial means and your tween's desires, there's no harm in indulging them occasionally. After all, birthdays and holidays are times for celebration and joy. However, in between these special occasions, consider implementing an allowance system. By giving your tween a sense of financial responsibility, they'll learn the value of money and understand the cost of their desired items.  It's easy to view our tweens' fascination with trends and brands through an adult lens, but remember, they're not approaching these things in the same way we do. It's all part of their journey of self-discovery—a process of exploring who they are and expressing themselves in their own unique way. So, let's ditch the judgment and approach their interests with curiosity and understanding. Responding to Sass/Rudeness while Maintaining a Close Connection: It's essential to understand that all behavior is communication. When our tweens display sass or rudeness, it's often a sign that they're struggling with their emotions or feeli

DESCRIPTION: Hello there, parents! If your child displays strong emotional attachments to their possessions, even those that seem useless or like plain old junk to you, then you might be dealing with more than just a messy room!Today's discussion is for those of you who might have noticed a certain clutter-loving tendency in your kids. You know the type – toys scattered like confetti, collections multiplying in every nook and cranny, and objects seemingly without a home. Now, for many, this might just signal a lack of organization or still-developing executive function skills. But for some, it might be a hint at something more serious – hoarding behaviors.💬 Join us for a chat as we: 1.Distinguish between hoarding and typical disorganization or messiness 2. Identify the signs and symptoms of hoarding in children3. Highlight the positive aspects of collecting in child development4. Discuss typical treatment approaches for serious hoarding behaviors in children5. Empower parents with strategies to reverse hoarding tendencies before they reach a level requiring therapeutic intervention I hope you find these insights helpful and actionable. As always, remember to prioritize your child's well-being and seek support when needed.  READY TO TAKE YOUR PARENTING TO THE NEXT LEVEL? For 3D Parent Coaching Services:  If you're looking for personalized guidance and support, consider exploring my parent coaching services. CLICK HERE to book a complimentary parent coach consultation call. Interested in Receiving 2 Free Parent Coaching Sessions? Become a Parent Coaching Guest on the podcast and receive 2 free parent coaching sessions, one to be recorded on my podcast and one private follow-up session. CLICK HERE to contact me about this opportunity and let's tackle your parenting concerns together.CONNECT WITH ME: Follow: The 3D Parent on Instagram Follow: The 3D Parent on Facebook Join: The 3D Parent Lounge Private Facebook Group  Email: Contact Me        SHOWNOTES: Today's episode is for all of you who might be dealing with little clutterbugs at home – you know, the ones with messes everywhere, collections multiplying like rabbits, and items that seem to have taken a permanent vacation from their designated spots. Now, for some of you, this might just be a case of your kid not being the tidiest or most organized soul, and that's totally okay. But for others, it could be a sign of something deeper – hoarding behaviors. When you think of hoarding, maybe you've seen those intense episodes of "Hoarders" on TV, where you're simultaneously fascinated, alarmed, and intrigued by the psychological complexity behind it all. Well, today, we're bringing that conversation closer to home by shedding light on early signs of hoarding behaviors in kids.If your child seems to have an unusually strong emotional attachment to their stuff, even the things that seem like junk to you, then it might be time to pay attention. While we're diving into some strategies today, it's super important to understand that this podcast isn't a substitute for professional assessment. If your child's distress levels are off the charts when it comes to their possessions, it may be time to loop in a psychologist, a doctor, or someone who is an expert on psychological conditions in kids.Signs and Symptoms of Hoarding in ChildrenI. First, you need to identify if your child has any physical indicators of hoarding behavior It's a crucial distinction, and here's how you can make it. Dr. Jerry Bubrick, of the Child Mind Institute, uses these four insightful questions to help assess for physical indicators of hoarding behaviors:1. Can you see the floor in your child’s room? 2. Can your child get clean clothes out of their closet, or is it so packed with stuff that they can’t get in there? 3. Can your child sleep in their bed, or is their bed temporary storage for everything? 4. Can your child do homework/projects at their desk, or is their desk covered with all kinds of stuff? These questions might seem simple, but they're powerful indicators of potential hoarding behaviors. Take some time to observe your child's space and ask yourself these questions. It's a great starting point for understanding what's going on and how you can best support your little one. II. Second, you need to assess for your child’s emotional attachment to possessions:Now, we've covered some practical questions to assess the physical clutter in your child's space. We also need to evaluate their emotional attachment to their possessions. For some kids, it's not about the object itself, but the memories associated with it. That napkin from a birthday party? It might seem like trash to you, but to your child, it's a cherished memento of a happy day spent with friends. Getting rid of it feels like saying goodbye to a piece of that memory which might be too difficult for some children. Kids with hoarding tendencies often struggle to let go of useless items, fearing that they'll be lonely or abandoned if tucked away out of sight. It's like each object has its own feelings, and the mere thought of parting with them feels like a loss or even a betrayal. They also tend to react quite differently. They might get visibly upset, throw tantrums, or even show signs of aggression when faced with decluttering. III. Third, look for patterns of accumulationKeep an eye out for those patterns of accumulation. Are they gathering things without much thought or purpose?Sure, collecting coins might seem reasonable—they can be saved up and used as money later on. But what about sticks, acorns, bottle caps, or even rocks? If your child  is accumulating these kinds of things in abundance, This could be a sign that they're struggling to differentiate between what's valuable and what's just clutter. Next, let's talk about the concept of "here for now." You might notice that your child is fond of stashing these collected items in various spots around the house. There's no real organization to it; it's more about having them around for the moment. They're not actively building a collection or organizing these items in any meaningful way. It's more of a 'see it, keep it here for now' mentality. IV. Fourth and finally, assess for psychological attachment to possessions Now, the fourth thing we want to look into is the psychological attachment to possessions. This goes beyond simply liking their stuff—it's about a deep emotional connection they form with objects. It's like they believe these items have feelings too.  For kids struggling with hoarding tendencies, letting go of an object can feel like a major loss. It's almost as if they're mourning the departure of a beloved friend. This attachment isn't just about the thing itself; it's about the memories and emotions tied to it. Take, for example, that crumpled napkin from their birthday party at the arcade. Sure, it's just a napkin with a smudge of pizza grease now, but to your child, it's a treasure trove of memories. They associate it with the laughter, the fun, and the joy of that special day. So, tossing it away feels like saying goodbye to those cherished moments. Now, these psychological attachments might not be obvious at first glance, but they play a significant role in your child's hoarding habits. Understanding this deeper layer is crucial in addressing the issue effectively. Treatment ApproachesWhen hoarding tendencies start to interfere significantly with your child's life or are accompanied by other issues, it might be time to consider therapy as a helpful intervention.I.) (ERP) therapy:One powerful approach to therapy for kids with hoarding tendencies is called Exposure with Response Prevention (ERP) This approach can be very effective, especially for kids who have hoarding tendencies in addition to OCD or anxiety disorders. Here's how it works: in ERP therapy, your child brings in the items they've been holding onto, whether it's something they've saved for ages or freshly collected treasures. Together with the therapist, they'll assess how much they feel the need to keep each item on a scale from zero to ten. Starting with the items your child feels least attached to, the therapist gradually guides them towards letting go. Sometimes, it's as simple as leaving the item with the therapist for a week to see how it feels to be separated from it. The goal isn't to toss things away immediately but to help your child gradually become more comfortable with the idea of discarding possessions. Reward systems can also come into play to reinforce progress. Celebrating each step forward helps motivate your child to continue making strides in letting go of unnecessary items. II.) Encouraging critical thinking about possessionCritical thinking is another key component of this therapy. Your child will learn to distinguish between needs and wants, a concept that can be a bit blurry for kids with hoarding tendencies. By asking questions like "Do you need this or want this," and, "Do you have space for this item," they begin to develop a clearer understanding of their possessions. III.) Importance of non-judgmental therapeutic environment Perhaps the most crucial aspect of ERP therapy is the ability for the therapist to create a safe space where judgment has no place. Therapists won't dismiss your child's attachment to seemingly trivial items or shame them for their hoarding habits. Moreover, therapists also address any feelings of shame your child might be carrying. By unpacking these emotions, they help your child work through these feelings rather than letting them fester internally.  Role of Parents in Intervening in Hoarding Behaviors with Children It's essential to understand the pivotal role parents play in reversing hoarding tendencies in children. By actively engaging and supporting their child, parents may be able to prevent mild hoarding tendencies from reaching a level that requires therapeutic interventions. Step 1) Identify the Issue For me, the realization that my

DESCRIPTION:Do anxiety, fears and phobias just fade away with time? Hey there, fantastic parents and caregivers! 🌟 In this episode, we'll be chatting with an expert who's not just talking the talk but walking the walk in the world of fears, phobias, and anxiety, Cai Graham. An International Speaker, Best Selling Author, and Family Anxiety Support Specialist, is on a mission to empower teens and young adults to live happier, more confident lives using her background as Master Practitioner in Coaching and NLP & Timeline Therapy. “With a deep understanding of the unique struggles faced by teens and young adults, I offer expertise in various areas related to adolescent anxiety. From understanding and managing anxiety to building resilience and promoting self-care, I am equipped to address a range of topics that resonate with both teens and those who support them.”- Cai GrahamJoin us for a chat as we: 💬 Go through Cai’s personal journey that led her to become a trusted expert in supporting teens, young adults, and their parents.💬 Drawing from her expertise and experiences, she'll share practical strategies for parents to support their kids dealing with fears and phobias, giving them the tools to handle emotions and build resilience. 💬 Plus, she spills the beans on communication tips to connect with anxious kids and create a supportive home environment. Listen now to this empowering episode and equip yourself with the knowledge and tools to support your teens and young adults as they conquer their fears and phobias. Take the first step towards building a mentally healthier future for your children!CONNECT WITH THE 3D PARENT: Instagram Facebook The 3D Parent Lounge Facebook CommunityCONNECT WITH  CAI GRAHAM: Podcast: The Parent and Teen Toolbox The Parent Toolbox Podcast - Cai Graham Website : Home - Cai Graham Email : cai@caigraham.com Anxiety Workbook : Fearless & Free : A Step-by-Step Blueprint to Help Teens & Young Adults Conquer Anxiety Facebook : www.facebook.com/thecaigraham Instagram : www.instagtam.com/caigraham SHOWNOTES: Hello, wonderful listeners! I'm thrilled to have you join us for episode 97 of the 3D Parent Podcast. Today, I am joined by a special guest, Cai Graham, an international speaker, a best-selling author, and a podcaster herself. Talk about a powerhouse! Cai is a family anxiety support specialist with a laser focus on supporting teens, young adults, and their parents. Her mission? To build a mentally healthier and happier generation of young people. With a background as a master practitioner in coaching, NLP, and timeline therapy, plus her hands-on experience with Childline, the UK's leading child counseling charity, Cai's got the perfect combo of skills. Her focus is on empowering her clients with the tools they need to take charge of their thoughts and emotions. Cai knows the unique struggles faced by teens, and she's here to share her expertise. From understanding and managing anxiety to building resilience and promoting self-care, she's equipped to tackle it all. I sat down with Cai on this episode to ask her about her take on Fears and Phobias in kids and how parents  help them navigate the tough moments when they crop up and how to help children build a toolbox of coping strategies.What are fears and phobias?  First off, I asked Cai: What's the deal with fears and phobias? Where do they come from? Are they just cousins of anxiety, or is there more to the story?   So, according to Cai, fears and phobias are indeed related to anxiety, but they're not the same. Fears, she explained, are our natural response to a perceived threat. Our unconscious mind, in its wisdom, is constantly on high alert, a leftover survival instinct from the days of dodging saber-toothed tigers. Now, that was a legit threat, and our unconscious mind kept us safe from it. But here's the twist – for many folks dealing with anxiety, that alert system doesn't shut down. It's like our unconscious mind is stuck in a perpetual “danger mode.” So, even in a safe space, like a classroom, it's still on the lookout, “getting its knickers in a twist,” to quote Cai,  over potential threats that don't actually exist.   Now, phobias, on the other hand, is anxiety taken to the extreme. They're irrational and totally disproportionate to the actual threat. Cai brought up a great example with spiders. Some people, she explained, absolutely lose it when faced with a big eight-legged friend. That irrational fear kicks in, and it's disproportionate to the actual threat posed by the spider. It's like the mind's yelling, 'Perceived threat! Perceived threat!' but in this case, it's cranked up to eleven. Now, we touched on the bees briefly in our conversation, and Cai made a crucial point. If you're allergic to bees, being on a bit more heightened alert is warranted. It's not irrational in that case. But when the fear of bees reaches the level of sobbing, breaking down, and seriously interfering with your daily life – that's when it crosses into the territory of a phobia. So, there's this fascinating overlap between fears and phobias, but according to Cai, it all boils down to intensity and duration. How do they develop?  Cai highlighted that fears and phobias can trace their roots to various factors. Take her own experience, for instance. She revealed a deep-seated phobia of swimming in deep water. And guess what triggered it? The movie, “Jaws.” Yep, that intense fear of being a shark's lunch began after watching that iconic movie. But it's not just about shark-infested waters. Cai delved into other triggers, like the dark. She shared that environmental factors like scary movies, or even a dog barking in the dark, can shape these fears during childhood. And let's not forget the genetic card. Some of us are more predisposed to anxieties and phobias. It's not just about learning behaviors from mom or dad; it's in our DNA.  "As parents, we need to acknowledge that. It can be a phase, we can grow out of it, but if it shows signs of continuing, I think we need to take it seriously." What are some effective strategies or techniques parents can use to support their kids who struggle with fears and/or phobias DARE Technique (CBT): Cai introduced us to CBT's powerful DARE technique – Diffuse, Allow, Run Towards, and Engage. It's about acknowledging the fear, understanding it, and rationalizing with it. However, she highlighted that cognitive reasoning might hit a roadblock during an anxiety-inducing moment. NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) and Visualization: NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming): Cai is a big proponent of the magic of NLP. Instead of engaging with the cognitive bit, she emphasizes visualization. Using a phobia model, she guides kids to picture a fear-inducing scenario, turn it black and white, and run it backward at varying speeds in their heads. It's like rewiring the brain's movies and pictures. Reframing: Cai suggests reframing fears positively and changing the narrative. For example, is your child terrified of bees? If yes, then learn about their importance in pollination and their intelligence. Show them a new perspective, making it less about fear and more about appreciation. Exposure and Desensitization: Cai highlighted the effectiveness of exposure, like those specialists on TV showcasing someone overcoming their fear of spiders. It's about reframing the brain to recognize that these perceived threats aren't as menacing as our minds make them out to be. Breathwork – Box Breathing – Adding Color: When the panic sets in, Cai's go-to move is box breathing. Breathe in for four, hold for four, exhale for four, and pause for four. This simple yet powerful technique communicates with the primal part of the brain, slowing down the adrenaline rush and releasing feel-good hormones. She also added a new element, color, if basic box breathing is not enough to cut through the fear. Here’s how: have your child identify the color of their fear as they are feeling it, let’s day pea green. Then have them identify the color if the anxious feelings were gone, like pink. Then have them do the box breathing exercise while visualizing breathing in the pink color and out the pea green color.    How can parents create a supportive and understanding environment for their anxious kids at home? First things first, validation is key. Cai stressed the importance of acknowledging and respecting your child's feelings without overdramatizing them. It's a delicate balance – provide reassurance without inadvertently signaling, "Even Mum thinks there's something wrong."  Then there's the art of open communication. Cai advocates for a lot of listening – no eye rolls when your kid starts their anxiety narrative. It's more like, "Okay, honey, let's talk. What do you need right now?" Simple, but so effective. Cai introduces this cool concept called gradual exposure. Cai used the example of school anxiety. Instead of a strict "you're going every day" approach, she proposed a more gentle journey. Find the better days, discover the fun parts, and strike deals that work. Also, we teach our kids by example. If you freak out about spiders, guess who's watching and learning to do the same? Cai advises parents to model good coping strategies, showing that fears can be managed. Celebrate victories, even the tiny ones. Did your kid make it to school without a meltdown? That's a win worth cheering for. It's all about acknowledging the small steps and not pushing too hard when they're out of their comfort zone. “Home should be their sanctuary,” says Cai. So she advises creating a calm environment where they feel safe. But here's the secret sauce: teach them coping skills. Cai suggests playful ideas like visualization around their phobias. Is it’s fear of snakes, Imagine putting a sombrero on it. If it’s fear of dogs, picture a clown nose on a dog – turning fears into something less scary. Wasn't that conversation with Cai just enlightening? I'm feeling equipped with some fa

DESCRIPTION: So much of parenting is finding what works for you and your family, even if it means coloring outside the lines every now and then. Welcome to episode number 96 of The 3D Parent Podcast! Today, we're tackling a topic that might raise a few eyebrows: "Inconsistent Parenting.” We've all been told that consistency is the holy grail of effective discipline, right? But let's take a step back and really think about what consistency means in the context of parenting. We're not talking about your everyday routines like bedtime or mealtime (though those are important too!). No, we're diving deeper into those unpredictable moments where you've gotta think on your feet and make decisions that are best for your strong-willed child. Here are the main topics we’ll cover in this episode: Necessary Consistency: Your Role: Being the “Nurturing Alpha”  Special Discipline Considerations when Parenting Strong-willed Kids 3 Strategies Which Leverage Inconsistency as an Effective Parenting Approach  Thank you for tuning in to today's episode of "The 3D Parent Podcast." If you found this content insightful, be sure to share it with fellow parents and caregivers. And don't forget to subscribe for more engaging and educational episodes on parenting!READY TO TAKE YOUR PARENTING TO THE NEXT LEVEL?: For 3D Parent Coaching Services:  If you're looking for personalized guidance and support, consider exploring my parent coaching services. CLICK HERE to book a complimentary parent coach consultation call. Interested in Receiving 2 Free Parent Coaching Sessions? Become a Parent Coaching Guest on the podcast and receive 2 free parent coaching sessions, one to be recorded on my podcast and one private follow-up session. CLICK HERE to contact me about this opportunity and let's tackle your parenting concerns together.  CONNECT WITH ME: Follow: The 3D Parent on Instagram Follow: The 3D Parent on Facebook Join: The 3D Parent Lounge Private Facebook Group  Email: Contact Me SHOWNOTES: In today's episode, we're flipping the script and taking a closer look at the concept of inconsistency in parenting. But don’t worry! We're not talking about throwing routines out the window. Those everyday rituals like bedtime, mealtime, and screen time– they're important for keeping the peace and giving our kids a sense of security. What we're talking about here are those moments when you find yourself making decisions based on your child's current needs.While traditional parenting wisdom often emphasizes consistency as the holy grail of effective discipline, those of us with spirited  children know that it's not always that simple. Strong-willed children are characterized by their independence, determination, brightness, and spirited nature. They have a knack for pushing boundaries, questioning authority, and asserting their own opinions from a young age. While these traits can be challenging to navigate as parents, they also come with a host of positive attributes, such as resilience, creativity, and a strong sense of self. It's important to recognize that these children aren't being defiant or difficult on purpose – they're simply wired to march to the beat of their own drum. What Requires Consistency?At the heart of effective parenting lies embodying the role of a "nurturing alpha" – a 3D Parent concept that emphasizes the importance of both relational attunement and sturdy leadership. For parents of strong-willed children, fostering a secure attachment becomes even more crucial as it provides an essential foundation for navigating the complexities of their spirited nature. Research has consistently shown that children who feel securely attached to their caregivers exhibit fewer oppositional behaviors. This alone underscores the importance of investing time and effort into nurturing the relationship with our strong-willed children. By providing a safe haven for our children to express themselves, we can significantly decrease instances of defiance and opposition. In addition to nurturing the attachment with our children, it's equally important to embrace the alpha aspect of the nurturing alpha role. This means consistently showing up as the strong leader of our children – guiding, teaching, and leading our children rather than coercing or attempting to control them.  One aspect of consistency that often gets overlooked is our ability to attune to the current needs of our child and making adjustments as needed. While some may view this as inconsistency, it's actually a vital part of responsive parenting. As Dr. Laura Markham aptly puts it, “Effective parenting is not about blindly following rules or routines but being responsive to the unique needs of each child.” This means being willing to reassess and pivot our parenting decisions based on new information or changing circumstances.Common Parenting Tactics that Commonly Backfire With Strong-willed Children: Offering Choices- For strong-willed children, offering choices can feel like an invitation to a power struggle. Instead of feeling empowered, these children see it as an attempt to control and coerce.  3-2-1 countdowns- The idea is simple: you give your child a countdown from three to one, and if they haven't complied with your request by the time you reach one, there are consequences. Why do these techniques backfire more often than not with our strong-willed kids? These kids see through the facade of authority and aren't afraid to challenge it. They want to feel respected and heard, not manipulated into compliance with empty threats and countdowns.  Asking kids to make decisions- “What do you want to do today?" "What do you  want to eat for breakfast?"  “ What do you want to do after school?” Those seemingly innocent questions can actually backfire big time with our strong-willed children. Why? Because these children have an innate sense of independence and a knack for seeing through manipulative parenting, so they naturally resist it. Additionally, when we ask them to make decisions, it can actually promote more of that strong-willed alpha energy we're trying to tone down. Now, I'm not saying we should never ask our kids for their input or opinions. After all, fostering open communication and encouraging autonomy are important aspects of parenting.  Challenges of Blind Consistency Insisting on consistency in discipline solely for the sake of consistency can be particularly problematic for parents of strong-willed children. As already stated, these children thrive on independence and may push back against rules and regulations that feel arbitrary or stifling. Dr. Dan Siegel, a renowned psychiatrist, cautions against rigidity in parenting, stating, "Rigidity in parenting can undermine the parent-child relationship and impede the child's emotional development." Even worse, persisting with discipline strategies that are clearly ineffective can increase tension and conflict within the parent-child relationship. Dr. Ross Greene, a clinical psychologist and author, emphasizes the importance of abandoning strategies that fail to align with a child's needs, stating, "The goal of discipline is not blind obedience but teaching problem-solving skills and fostering a healthy parent-child relationship." Three Inconsistent Approaches in Parenting  In addition to fostering secure attachment and flexibility, parents of strong-willed children can benefit from introducing elements of unpredictability to their parenting, such as novelty, playfulness, and disorientation to engage these children's spirited natures and foster a deeper connection. Here’s more on how to use these approaches: 1. Novelty: Novelty can be an effective strategy for parenting because it invigorates the parent-child relationship, stimulates curiosity, and turns on a child’s instincts to orient to their parents. Moreover, incorporating novelty into parenting fosters a sense of spontaneity and joy, creating lasting memories and strengthening the bond between parent and child.  The Element of Surprise: Introduce a sense of excitement by hinting at something fun and new once teeth are brushed and pajamas are on, even if you haven't figured out what that exciting thing is yet. Mix it Up: From impromptu dance parties to shadow dancing with flashlights, embrace spontaneity and create lasting memories with your child. Try something new every few days to capitalize on this effective tool. 2. Playfulness:One of the best ways to "connect before direct," this approach emphasizes building a connection with your child before giving directions or making a transition. It could be as simple as turning a mundane task like putting on shoes into a silly game where you pretend to instruct your child to put their shoes on their ears instead of their feet. By infusing humor and play into everyday tasks, you not only make them more enjoyable for your child but also strengthen your bond in the process. Turn Mundane Tasks into Opportunities for Imaginative Play or Games: Some examples might be pretending to be mother and baby bears climbing the stairs or challenging your child with a game of "I Spy" while cleaning up. Humor as a Response to Opposition: Respond to your child's "no's" with humor and playfulness, turning moments of resistance into playful interactions that foster connection. 3. Disorientation: Sometimes, throwing our kids off their game can be just the thing we need to break through their stubborn streak. By introducing elements of disorientation into our parenting approach, we can disrupt entrenched patterns of oppositional behavior and prompt our children to recalibrate their attention towards us. Change of Environment: Take your child to a new park, unfamiliar locations, or get out of town to disrupt entrenched patterns of alpha behaviors. Getting kids out of their typical environments primes them to orient towards you. Occasionally, Delay Your Responses and/or Decisions: Respond to questions or requests with non-committal or delayed a

DESCRIPTION: Welcome back to the continuation of our parent coaching session with Caitlin! If you missed part one, don't worry, you can catch up on episode number 94 where we delved into the challenges Caitlin is facing with her children. In part one, we peeled back the layers to uncover what's driving the tension in Caitlin's household. We discussed how her oldest child's frustration and jealousy were manifesting in conflicts with his siblings, diving deep into the dynamics at play within the family unit. Today, in part two, we're rolling up our sleeves and diving into solutions. From fostering individual connections with each child to effectively intervening in sibling squabbles, we'll tackle actionable steps to bring more harmony to Caitlin's family and yours.So, whether you're facing similar challenges or simply looking to enhance your parenting toolkit, I'm thrilled to have you here. So, without further ado, let's jump into part two of our parent coaching session!READY TO TAKE YOUR PARENTING TO THE NEXT LEVEL? For 3D Parent Coaching Services:  If you're looking for personalized guidance and support, consider exploring my parent coaching services. Let's work together to tailor the 3D Parent Approach to your unique parenting journey. CLICK HERE to book a complimentary parent coach consultation call. Interested in Receiving 2 Free Parent Coaching Sessions? Become a Parent Coaching Guest on the podcast and receive 2 free parent coaching sessions, one to be recorded on my podcast and one private follow-up session to check in and see how implementing the coaching strategies is going for you and your family.  CLICK HERE to contact me about this opportunity and let's tackle your parenting concerns together. Your experience can inspire and support other parents facing similar struggles. CONNECT WITH ME: The 3D Parent on Instagram The 3D Parent on Facebook **JOIN: The 3D Parent Lounge Private Facebook Group*SHOW NOTES: (For Full Show Notes, Links, and Episode Resources, Visit Episode Website)Hey there, wonderful listeners! Thanks a ton for tuning in to Episode 94. I hope you've been enjoying the episode so far. Today's discussion dives deep into the world of sibling dynamics, exploring conflict resolution strategies and the art of repairing relationships. I recently had a fascinating conversation with Caitlin, where we unpacked various scenarios and effective approaches to fostering healthy sibling relationships. So, let's jump right in!Caitlin opened up about the sense of panic she feels when her kids are at odds with each other. It's a common experience for many parents. The urge to jump in and resolve the conflict immediately is strong, but often, our instincts lead us astray. Instead, I introduced Caitlin to  what I call the "3 Do's of Incident Management," a simple yet effective approach to handling sibling conflicts: Do No Harm: The first step is for us, as parents, to ground ourselves and avoid reacting impulsively. This means taking a moment to breathe and remind ourselves not to escalate the situation. I  suggest  having a phrase like "do no harm" as a quick mantra to center ourselves in these moments. Do Take Charge (of Circumstances): Rather than trying to control our kids' behaviors, which can often feel like herding cats, I advised Caitlin to focus on managing the circumstances surrounding the conflict. This might involve separating the children involved or removing the source of contention. By taking charge of the situation, we create space for everyone to cool down. Do Circle Back Later: Once the immediate tension has subsided, it's essential to revisit the conflict with our kids. This is where the real work happens. We validate their feelings, encourage empathy, and work together to find solutions. By circling back later, we create an opportunity for repair and growth within the sibling relationship. Guiding Children Through Repair: Now, let's talk about how we guide our kids through the process of making amends after a fight. During the conversation with Caitlin, I  emphasized the importance of first validating their feelings and encouraging empathy: Validate Feelings: It's crucial to acknowledge and validate the emotions of each child involved without judgment or blame. Do so in private with just one child at a time. Create a safe space for honest communication by letting them know that their feelings are valid and understood. Encourage Empathy: Next, we help our child see things from the other child’s  perspective. This is best done after the frustration has subsided and the child seems to be feeling a sense of remorse. This fosters empathy and understanding, allowing them to recognize the impact of their actions on their sibling. Facilitate Apology and Repair: Finally, we guide them in expressing remorse and finding ways to make amends. Follow your child’s lead and the way they are feeling moved towards making things right. This might involve offering apologies, sharing toys or treats, or simply listening to each other's feelings. The goal is to promote mutual respect and strengthen the bond between siblings.  Ideas to Help Improve Sibling Rivalry Stemming from Jealousy  Caitlin expressed feeling spread too thin and feeling like filling her children’s “connection cups” was difficult. She also shared that she didn’t really enjoy playing with her kids and even questioned if inserting herself into their imaginary play was in their best interest. I shared with her a few solutions to help her kids feel pursued by her and “trumping” her children’s needs.  Solution: “Special Time” I suggested that Caitlin (and her husband)  create an intentional time for 1:1 connection with each of her children for the primary purpose of strengthening and securing the parent/child attachments. Here is some additional guidance on “Special Time”: 10-15 min. high quality, 1:1 time, per day. Give it a unique name if “special time” doesn’t work for you or your child. Make this time scheduled and guaranteed (not something that can be taken away due to undesirable behavior, etc.). This needs to be distraction-free time for play and connection. This is not time that is tied to another agenda item, like part of the bedtime routine, part of taking a child to daycare or school drop-off, etc. although it could immediately precede an agenda item like this. No need to plan a big activity. Keep it simple and just focus on connecting with your child.  Avoid viewing media on screens during “special time.” It's ok to let your child know the timeframe and a timer can be used to keep things on schedule (unless this seems to cause too much stress). ****Do not use it as a time to remind, nag, ask about homework, or talk about behavior problems or incidents. This is all about connection and fun. (If you're interested in seeing some sample activities you can try during “special time,” be sure to check out the link to a special time calendars to help you plan meaningful activities with your children.) Solution: Infuse Connection into Everyday Activities Another strategy I shared with Caitlin was to think of connecting with her kids as something she can embed into all of her interactions with the kids. It doesn’t have to feel like just another item on her to do list. Simple things can make a big difference. Here are some examples: Invite into your presence: ask kids to hang out in an area where you are doing chores or even better, invite kids to help out doing chores together.  Seek Before Being Sought: Another idea, seek before being sought-this means, rather than waiting for kids to feel a sense of disconnect which leads them to come find you or act out in a frustrating manner, find out where they are and engage with them first.  This keeps the connection cup full.  Greet with a Sense of Delight: Finally, think about how you respond when you first see your child after school or when they come into your presence at home. This is a perfect time to light up and give your child a clear sense of significance. To get a twinkle in your eye and say something like, “I was just thinking about you.” It is a small yet profound shift that helps a child feel deeply attached.   I hope the strategies discussed in this episode have provided valuable insights for you, Caitlin, and for all our listeners. Remember, as parents, it's our responsibility to nurture a strong connection with our children, not our children’s role to work for it or hold on to it. Understanding that the need for connection is fundamental, even surpassing basic necessities, and helps us prioritize meaningful interactions with our kids. While parenting may not always be easy, implementing simple strategies like scheduling one-on-one time can make a significant difference. By setting aside dedicated moments for quality interactions, we reassure our children of our unwavering support and love. Thank you for tuning in, and until next time!Episode Resources: CLICK HERE to Download "Special Time" Sample Calendars and Blank Planning Calendars

DESCRIPTION: “ My oldest craves more of my time and attention and takes out his frustration on his siblings, especially his younger brother. He is very dismissive and even insulting to his brother.”- Caitlin, Mom of 3 boys In this special episode of The 3D Parent Podcast, I’m going to help out Caitlin, a devoted mom of three, whose eldest son feels a bit left out lately. He's craving more attention and sometimes ends up picking fights with his little brother.  Feeling stretched thin and overwhelmed, Caitlin wonders how to fill each child's emotional bucket without stirring up more competition. How can she offer one-on-one time without igniting jealousy? And in the chaos of sibling squabbles, how can she intervene effectively? As a fellow parent of multiple children, I know the feeling of being pulled in all directions and I'm here to lend a hand. Using my 3D Parent approach, we'll start by gaining clarity on the situation: Is it Caitlin, her children, or their dynamic as a family unit that needs attention? Let's dive in and make sense of what is going on in this family so we can move towards finding some practical solutions to ease the tension and restore harmony in Caitlin's household. READY TO TAKE YOUR PARENTING TO THE NEXT LEVEL?: For 3D Parent Coaching Services:  If you're looking for personalized guidance and support, consider exploring my parent coaching services. Let's work together to tailor the 3D Parent Approach to your unique parenting journey. CLICK HERE to book a complimentary parent coach consultation call. Interested in Receiving 2 Free Parent Coaching Sessions? Become a Parent Coaching Guest on the Podcast: Are you ready to share your parenting challenges and triumphs? Become a parent coaching guest and receive 2 free parent coaching sessions, one to be recorded on my podcast and one private follow up session to check in and see how implementing the coaching strategies is going for you and your family.  CLICK HERE to contact me about this opportunity and let's tackle your parenting concerns together. Your experience can inspire and support other parents facing similar struggles. CONNECT WITH ME: The 3D Parent on Instagram The 3D Parent on Facebook **JOIN: The 3D Parent Lounge Private Facebook Group* FULL EPISODE #94 SHOW NOTES: Today's episode is a special one where we're giving you a behind-the-scenes look at a coaching session. I'm excited for you to see how we tackle real parenting challenges head-on. I'm thrilled to welcome my special guest Caitlin, a devoted mother of three from Redmond, Washington, who recently shared her heartfelt struggles with sibling rivalry in a candid discussion on a parenting podcast. In a touching submission, Caitlin opened up about the challenges she faces as her oldest son seeks more attention and lashes out at his siblings. The scenario Caitlin described is a familiar one for many parents—her oldest child's longing for attention manifests in behavior that is dismissive and even hurtful towards his younger siblings. Despite her efforts, Caitlin finds it difficult to sympathize with her oldest son's actions, leading to a cycle of tension and conflict within the family. Recognizing the need for support, Caitlin and her son have both embarked on separate therapy journeys to address these issues head-on. However, Caitlin finds herself facing her own past experiences with sibling rivalry, which only adds more layers of complexity to the situation and leaves her feeling overwhelmed with guilt. As Caitlin navigates the delicate balance of meeting each child's needs while maintaining harmony in the household, she seeks guidance on effective strategies for fostering positive sibling relationships. Her questions reflect the common dilemmas faced by parents in similar situations:  How can she ensure each child feels valued without inadvertently favoring one over the others?  How can she carve out quality time for individual bonding without exacerbating jealousy or competition among her children?  My 3D Parent Coaching approach began with helping Caitlin find her sense of direction as she pondered my 3 “Scan the Situation” questions: "Is it me? Is it my child or children? Is it us?" These questions allowed for a deeper exploration of her parenting challenges. With refreshing honesty, Caitlin admitted feeling stretched thin and overwhelmed by the demands of motherhood. She candidly admitted, "I think I'm definitely a piece of the puzzle," acknowledging her feelings of being stretched thin and grappling with guilt over not spending enough time with her children. One of Caitlin's primary concerns revolved around imaginative play, an area where she admittedly struggles. "I don't really know how to “pretend play," she admitted, highlighting the discomfort she feels when engaging in activities like building Lego sets or embarking on fantasy adventures with her children. I reassured Caitlin that she's not alone in this struggle, emphasizing that each parent has their own strengths and challenges. As Caitlin delved deeper into her concerns, she uncovered her belief in the value of independent play for children. However, she realized that her desire to foster creativity sometimes clashed with her instinct to intervene.  The conversation also touched upon Caitlin's past wounds related to sibling rivalry and her instinctive "mama bear" response to conflicts among her children. Amidst the challenges, Caitlin expressed her deep longing for harmonious family moments. "I just want everyone to get along," Caitlin admitted, reflecting on her desire for unity within her family.  Next, we dove into the second question, “ Is it my child/children?” Caitlin opened up about her eldest son's struggles with separation anxiety and intense emotions, shedding light on his behavior shaped by his drive towards seeking contact and closeness since infancy. Despite his articulate nature, he tends to bottle up his feelings, masking his inner turmoil. This emotional intensity often translates into verbal outbursts directed at his younger siblings. As we discussed the final facet of our exploration– the, "Is it us," question – I introduced Caitlin to the concept of the “Karpman Triangle”, a psychological framework for understanding a common dysfunctional family system. Caitlin recognized the roles she, her children, and her husband often fell into: the rescuer, the victim, and the victimizer. "It's like we're stuck in this cycle," Caitlin lamented, acknowledging the detrimental impact it had on their relationships. Breaking free from this cycle required intentional effort and awareness, which I assured Caitlin was possible. We also addressed Caitlin's perception of a scarcity mindset, particularly with her attention and affection. Her "mama bear" reactions stemmed from fears and insecurities, influencing her responses to conflicts among her children. By confronting these fears and adopting an abundant mindset, Caitlin could create a nurturing environment for her family. Handling sibling conflicts was another concern for Caitlin, who often felt panicked and unsure of how to intervene effectively. To help her manage these situations, I introduced the concept of "incident management" and outlined three essential steps: do no harm, take charge, and circle back later.Part 1 of our coaching session concluded with a message of empowerment, as I  reassured Caitlin that she possessed the tools to overcome her challenges. "You and your husband are the answer," I affirmed, emphasizing the importance of self-reflection and proactive problem-solving in parenting. Now, I know after hearing this parent coaching session and all of the nuanced details of what is likely causing all the conflict for Caitlin and her family, you might be ready to hear some proposed solutions. I’ve got them, but you will just need to be a little patient and tune in next week for Episode 95, Part 2 of this recorded parent coaching session where we will discuss ways to alleviate the struggles Caitlin and her family are currently facing. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR LISTENING …

DESCRIPTION: In today's episode, we'll explore how you can support your child through moments of heightened anxiety and help them build resilience for the future. Anxiety is a natural part of life, it isn't something to be feared or avoided. It's a natural and necessary human emotion that helps us navigate the world safely. However with anxiety disorders on the rise among children and adolescents, it's more important than ever for parents to understand how to support their children through this challenging emotion and provide a sense of safety. Today, I'll be giving you practical tools to help you do just that.Here's what you'll learn in this episode: The significance of building a securely attached  relationship with your child, which serves as your most parenting powerful tool in guiding them through difficult emotions, like anxiety. Understanding co-regulation and how it empowers you to help your child manage overwhelming emotions by utilizing your own regulated emotional state. A proactive strategy called "Name It to Tame It," which involves personifying your child's anxiety to help them separate it from their core identity and regain control over this powerful emotion. Six practical steps to effectively co-regulate with your anxious child, including selecting suitable stress and anxiety regulation tools, reassessing their anxiety level, and repeating the co-regulation process as needed. Now, if you're looking for more insights into anxiety and parenting, be sure to check out episode 50 of "The 3D Parent" podcast, where I cover a range of tips and perspectives on parenting an anxious child. It's a great companion to today's episode and can provide you with even more valuable information.Thank you for tuning in to today's episode of The 3D Parent Podcast. If you found this content helpful, be sure to share it with fellow parents and caregivers. And don't forget to subscribe for our weekly episodes  and more insightful episodes on parenting! SHOWNOTES:Hey there, fellow parents! Today's episode is going to be a bit different than our usual discussions because we're diving deep into a topic that's close to many of our hearts: anxiety in children. If you've ever found yourself wondering, "What do I do when my child is experiencing anxiety," then stick around because I've got some specific strategies to share with you.Now, before we get into the nitty-gritty, I want to give a shoutout to a previous episode where we covered the broader topic of parenting an anxious child. If you haven't listened to Episode 50 yet, titled "Parenting an Anxious Child," I highly recommend giving it a listen. It's a great companion to today's episode and covers some essential do's and don'ts, along with practical tips and perspectives for navigating anxiety in your child.It's important to recognize that anxiety itself is not inherently negative. In fact, it's a fundamental human emotion that serves a valuable purpose. However, when a child experiences overwhelming or frequent anxiety, it can be cause for concern. With children and adolescents facing anxiety at unprecedented rates, it's more important than ever for parents to understand how to support their children through these challenges. Anxiety can be a tough nut to crack because it's not always driven by rational thoughts and it certainly doesn't come with an easy fix. But as parents, our role is to provide a sense of safety and support so our kids can weather the storm of anxious feelings and emerge stronger and more resilient on the other side. Before we delve into the strategies, I want to emphasize the importance of seeking professional help if you feel your child's anxiety is worsening or significantly impacting their daily life. While this podcast episode offers valuable insights, it's not a substitute for the expertise of healthcare professionals. Throughout this episode, I'll be sharing practical strategies to help you support your child through their anxiety journey. From creating a safe space for open communication to teaching coping skills, each strategy is designed to empower both you and your child. Anxiety can manifest in various ways, affecting not only the child but also their family dynamics. If you observe changes in your child's behavior, such as reluctance to participate in activities they once enjoyed or difficulty coping with daily tasks, it's essential to address these concerns promptly. Untreated anxiety can escalate over time and may lead to other mental health issues or behavioral disorders. Therefore, early intervention is key. Start by consulting your child's pediatrician, who can provide valuable insights and recommendations for further evaluation or treatment. In the show notes, you'll find a link to an article titled "When to Seek Additional Support for Your Child's Anxiety," which offers detailed guidance on assessing your child's needs and approaching the topic with them in an age-appropriate manner. Even if your child receives outside help, your role as a parent remains crucial. Therapy sessions typically occur for a limited time each week, leaving ample opportunity for you to provide ongoing support and guidance at home. Your deep connection with your child serves as the foundation for effective parenting, especially when addressing difficult emotions like anxiety. Now, let's take a step back and consider the bigger picture. Before addressing specific strategies, it's essential to nurture a deeply connected relationship with your child. As I discussed in Episode 87, "Parenting with Deep Connection," your relationship with your child is your most powerful tool. Building a secure, deeply connected bond lays the foundation for providing effective support, especially during challenging times like anxiety. A secure attachment with at least one significant caregiver is essential for a child's emotional well-being and development. This connection enables you to come alongside your child, understanding their emotions and providing the support they need. By nurturing this deep connection, you create a safe space for your child to express their feelings and navigate difficult emotions like anxiety. So, what exactly is co-regulation? Simply put, it's the ability for a parent or caregiver to use their own regulated emotional state to help a child regulate their difficult or overwhelming emotions, like anxiety.  Now, let's talk about why co-regulation is so important, especially for children who may not yet have developed the skills to regulate their emotions independently. This could be due to their age, temperament, or the nature of their current circumstances. For example, younger children or those with highly sensitive temperaments may need to rely on their parents for a longer period of time to help them manage feelings of anxiety. The beauty of co-regulation is that it enables a parent to not only help to regulate their child, but also to model coping skills that children can carry with them into adulthood. By modeling healthy ways of managing emotions, parents are laying the foundation for their children to become emotionally resilient individuals who can eventually face life's challenges independently and with confidence. Understanding a proactive tool called "Name it to Tame it"Now, let's dive into some strategies, starting with a proactive tool called, "Name it to Tame it.” This strategy involves helping your child name and personify their anxiety. By giving your child’s anxiety a name like, “Spike” or “Sheila,” you're helping them separate their anxiety from their core identity. This can empower them to feel a sense of control over their emotions, reducing feelings of overwhelm. Naming their anxiety allows children to acknowledge it as a part of themselves, but not all of who they are. This strategy draws from therapeutic approaches that focus on understanding and managing different parts of oneself. To implement this strategy, have a conversation with your child about anxiety or their worries and its physical manifestations, such as feeling panicked or experiencing an upset stomach. Help them understand that these feelings are normal and can be managed. Then, encourage them to come up with a name for their anxiety. Make it a fun and creative activity to help them feel more comfortable with the concept. Remember to reinforce the importance of using this name when discussing their anxiety in the future. Now, I’ll walk you through the Six Steps to Co-regulate with your Anxious Child: Step 1: Center Yourself Imagine it's the day of your child's first karate class, something they've been eagerly anticipating. But when the moment arrives, they're overwhelmed with anxiety and refuse to go. As a parent, your first instinct might be to feel anxious too. Step one reminds us to center ourselves before attempting to co-regulate with our child. For example, Take a few deep breaths and place your hand over your heart. Say to yourself something like, "I am safe. This is not an emergency. This is just a moment and will pass." Before you can effectively support your child, it's essential to regulate your own emotions. Children often pick up on their parents' anxiety which up-regulates and increases their anxiety, so taking a moment to center yourself is crucial. Step 2: Acknowledge Your Child's Anxiety by Name Remember when you helped your child name their anxiety? Now's the time to acknowledge it.  Say something like  "Hey, buddy, I see Spike's here today. That's okay. We'll work through this together." By referring to your child's anxiety by its chosen name, you help them recognize that it's a separate part of them, not their entire identity. Next, ask your child where they feel Spike in their body. Are they feeling Spike's presence as butterflies in their stomach, tightness in their chest, or tension in their throat? By pinpointing the physical sensations associated with Spike's visit, your child becomes more aware of how their body responds to anxiety. Th

DESCRIPTION: Ever find yourself caught in the tug-of-war between absolute love for your child and the occasional, “I'm finding it impossible to deal with my child right now," moment? If so, you're not alone! Join me on Episode #92: “"I Love My Child, But Sometimes I Can't Stand Him," where we're diving headfirst into the candid realities of parenting a more challenging child.  Join me as we unpack: Understanding the "why" behind your child's behavior Move past resentment and embrace acceptance, creating a foundation for a more positive parent-child dynamic. Practical tips to let go of comparisons and celebrate your child's unique personality and strengths. "Discipline with Dignity" techniques that promote cooperation and mutual respect This episode is for you if: You feel like you're constantly on edge with your child. You struggle with shame, guilt, and self-doubt about your parenting skills. You wish you could connect with your challenging child on a deeper level. You're looking for practical tools to manage your child’s frustrating behaviors. Remember, you're a loving, resilient, and capable parent doing your best. With the appropriate support, self-compassion, and a growth mindset, you can overcome any challenge and cultivate the loving, connected relationship with your child that you aspire to. Tune into Episode #92 for a fresh perspective and practical support.  SHOWNOTES: Ever find yourself grappling with conflicting emotions towards your child? It's an experience that many parents share but might hesitate to openly discuss.  Challenging children often exhibit attitudes that can be tough to handle. When a child's demeanor is sweet, calm, and affectionate, it's easy to embrace them, but what about those moments when their attitudes provoke unexpected emotions? How do you open yourself up to connect with a child who may seem a bit more challenging to understand? I get it. I've been there too. In fact, I used to be wracked with guilt every time I had those fleeting thoughts of frustration or impatience. But here's the thing – those thoughts don't make you a bad parent. They make you human. And as a parent coach, I've heard it time after time from other parents wrestling with similar feelings. Various factors that contribute to a complex child's behavior Vulnerability to Love--A Prickly Defense Mechanism: Sometimes, challenging children present rough, prickly exteriors because they find love and connection too vulnerable. It's uncomfortable for them to be lovable and endearing, often due to a highly sensitive temperament or past hurts. Understanding this vulnerability is crucial in fostering a compassionate approach. Subconscious Self-Fulfilling Prophecy: Believing They Are Unlovable: In some cases, challenging children come to believe that they are unlovable. This belief becomes almost like a self-fulfilling prophecy, influencing their behavior and interactions with others which are often annoying, off-putting, or even mean spirited. As a parent, it's essential to consider your role in this dynamic – do your actions unintentionally contribute to their negative self-perception? Building Inner Narratives--Seeds in Formative Years and the Impact of Words and Actions: For a young child, the formative years are crucial in shaping their self-worth and self-esteem. The comments and feedback they receive, both at home and in their broader environment, contribute to the narrative they internalize. Consider the phrases you use when frustrated: "I don't want to be around you when you act like this" or "Why are you always so negative?" The impact of these words goes beyond the moment, shaping your child's sense-of-self. Reflecting on the language used by caregivers, teachers, peers, and siblings is equally important. Parental Grief--Facing your Sadness and Disappointment: If you are struggling to connect with your complex child and feel yourself wishing your child was different than they are, you probably experience a lot of resentment and shame. I want to help you make a shift away from these difficult feelings. The first step is acknowledging and normalizing your own parental grief. You might have envisioned your child and your experience as a parent being very different than it currently is. This disappointment is difficult to face and likely fills you with equal parts of resentment and guilt. The first and most crucial step is to forgive yourself for the feelings of disconnection with your child and acknowledge that it's okay to experience this grief in parenting a complex child. Let's recognize the importance of allowing ourselves to feel the sadness associated with the challenges we didn't anticipate. How to move past Resentment and Towards Acceptance Acknowledging the Unforeseen Reality--Letting Go of Disappointment: As parents, none of us envisioned this reality when we dreamt of having children. The image we had in mind might have been different from the challenging child we are parenting. It's essential to find and feel the sadness around what is, letting go of the disappointment of not getting the child we imagined. Acknowledge the grief and adjust your vision to the reality of your unique and complex child. The Importance of Privacy--Processing Grief Away from Your Child: Acceptance also means learning to adjust to the reality of your child's temperament and challenges. Grieve the adjustments you need to make, whether it's opting out of certain activities or events because they might be too overwhelming for your child. Feeling sadness about what you're missing is valid, but it's crucial to keep this grief work away from your child. Avoid exposing your child to the emotions associated with these adjustments. Seek a trusted adult – your spouse, partner, friend, parenting coach, or therapist – to process these feelings with. This private space allows you to navigate the complexities of parenting a challenging child without burdening them with your emotional journey. Letting Go of Comparisons--A Key to Overcoming Resentment: Comparing your child to others, whether in your household or observed in your social circles, often leads to resentment. Dr. Brené Brown defines resentment as a feeling related to perceived unfairness or injustice, often stemming from hidden envy. Remember, as a parent, you cannot control who your child is. Let go of comparisons that only serve to amplify resentment and hinder your ability to connect with and accept your child. Understanding the Impact of Envy--Overcoming Resentment: Envy is a powerful emotion that fuels resentment. When we envy the perceived ease of other parents' experiences, it deepens our frustration and resentment towards our own parenting journey. Acknowledge that your child is unique, and comparisons only serve to magnify a sense of unfairness. Embrace the reality that your child is an individual with their own set of challenges and gifts, and your journey is incomparable to others. How to Grow Your Acceptance Instead of Your Resentment Embrace Your Child's Uniqueness: First and foremost, recognize that your child's challenges are not a reflection of you. Let go of the fantasies you held about who your child should be and grow alongside them. Invest time in getting to know your child deeply. The more you focus on understanding them, the more you'll uncover their wonderful and unique gifts. Cultivate Curiosity and Let Go of Unrealistic Expectations: Become genuinely curious about your child. Release unfair expectations that might have clouded your perception. Your child possesses numerous positive attributes; seek them out, elevate them, and express your observations to your child. This fosters a sense of gratitude for the incredible individual they are. Practice a Gratitude Parenting Routine: Commit to a daily gratitude practice in parenting. Reflect on the lovable aspects of your child, even if you find it challenging initially. Create a space for positivity by acknowledging and appreciating their unique qualities. Consider implementing a gratitude journal or daily reflection to reinforce this practice. Celebrate Victories and Reflect on Progress: In the midst of challenges, it's crucial to celebrate victories—no matter how small. Take moments to reflect on your journey, comparing your current situation to past challenges. While the road may still be tough, acknowledging progress reinforces your resilience and strengthens your ability to face future obstacles. Understanding Your Child's Struggles: A Shift in Perspective: To truly connect with your child, it's essential to shift your perspective on their actions and behaviors. Remember, their outward expressions reflect internal struggles. Recognize that your child, when frustrated or explosive, is not intentionally making your life difficult. This paradigm shift allows you to approach parenting with more compassion, patience, and empathy. Developing the Ability to Mix Feelings: Acknowledging mixed feelings is a vital aspect of emotional maturity. As a parent, you may sometimes lose the ability to mix your emotions, leading to reacting out of frustration. A gut check can help you assess your feelings towards your child. If you find yourself avoiding time with them, it's an opportunity to refocus your efforts and connect more deeply. Practical Steps to Stay Grounded as a Parent  Reflect and Refocus: Assess your feelings towards spending time with your child. If you're hesitant or repelled at the idea of spending time with your child, consciously take note, realign with your parenting intentions, and make an extra effort to connect. Delight in Your Child's Presence: Visibly show delight in your child's presence, even if you're working through initial defenses. Authentic feelings will follow as you actively engage and appreciate your child's company. Discipline with Dignity: Another thing that you can do to grow your compassion, your patience, your empathy, and be able to accept this charge you've been give

Parenting is a beautiful yet challenging journey, especially when faced with the complexities of raising unique and dynamic children. In this heartwarming episode, we dive into the world of emotional regulation through mindfulness with the incredible Aparna Venkatraman, the passionate founder of Beauty in Parenting. Aparna's mission with Beauty in Parenting is clear—to support families worldwide in fostering heart-centered connections. Drawing from her 20 years of experience, she guides parents through the intricacies of emotional regulation, offering insights that touch the soul. Parents, this is an episode you don't want to miss! Some points we will discuss include: Mindfulness practices for emotional regulation in parents and children. Deep breathing techniques. Meditation techniques Family connection activities We all get swept away sometimes. We lose our breath, our patience, our way. We yell, we cry, we wonder if we'll ever find our sanity again. But guess what? We're not alone. And within each of us, there's a wellspring of resilience, a reservoir of strength waiting to be tapped. On this episode, Aparna shows us the power of mindfulness–that quiet revolution that starts with a single inhale, a deliberate exhale. Did you enjoy today's episode? If yes, share it with your fellow parents with "extra" kids! The more the merrier, right? CONNECT WITH THE 3D PARENT: Instagram Facebook The 3D Parent Lounge Facebook Community CONNECT WITH APARNA: Website: Beauty In Parenting - Coaching for Parents of Babies, Toddlers & Teens Instagram: @‌beautyinparenting Facebook: Beauty In Parenting Free Self-Care & Priorities Chart (1-page pdf): Beauty In Parenting LLC SHOWNOTES: In this episode, I’m excited to welcome a special guest, Aparna Venkataraman. Having 20 years of experience connecting with 1000s of families in schools, children’s hospitals and non-profit organizations since her teens, Aparna Venkataraman is the founder of Beauty In Parenting and is a worldwide parent coach, meditation-breathwork teacher, motivational speaker and wellness advocate for doTerra essential oils. With her approachable nature, strong intuition and problem-solving skills, she guides parents of babies, toddlers and teens, couples and extended family to empower themselves and build healthy relationships with one another through effective communication, creating boundaries, self-care, confidence-building and lighthearted mindfulness techniques. (03:28) Aparna's Story: I sit down with Aparna to hear more about her story and what led her to this work. Aparna shares her intricate journey, starting from being a premature baby to grappling with childhood anxiety and depression due to emotional distance. Her studies in psychology and child development paved the way for impactful work with diverse groups, all while harboring a deep desire to support families. A pivotal year marked by loss, floods, and leaving a toxic relationship spurred Aparna to create "Beauty in Parenting," aiming to support families globally in finding heart-centered connections. I can't help but resonate with Aparna's story, and I bet many of you can too. It's a beautiful blend of personal struggles and professional growth, highlighting the importance of emotional well-being in parenting. (08:00) Exploring Aparna's Focus on Moms: I asked Aparna what led her to specifically support moms. Aparna opens up about her personal journey, sharing a glimpse into her challenging relationship with her own mother during her upbringing. This connection, or rather, disconnection, played a pivotal role in shaping Aparna's perspective. As she delves into her experiences as a toddler teacher, she shares that she began to notice a pattern — the profound impact of parent-child relationships on a child's behavior, development, and stress levels. The decision to focus on moms stemmed from a profound realization–the multifaceted role moms play in their children's development. She dives into the complexities, acknowledging the tendency for moms to prioritize others, often neglecting their own needs. The struggle to express these needs becomes a common thread among many moms. (10:58) Aparna's Involvement on working with Dads: Now, you might be wondering if Aparna exclusively works with moms. Well, the answer is no. I had the same question, and Aparna clarified that while her primary focus is on supporting moms, she does work with dads too. In our conversation, Aparna expressed her openness to supporting fathers who seek guidance on various aspects of parenting. She recognizes the importance of dads in the family dynamic and is willing to lend a helping hand. This inclusivity extends beyond individual coaching sessions. Aparna emphasizes the significance of family systems, acknowledging that a holistic approach involves considering the dynamics between all family members. In her coaching practice, she not only addresses individual needs but also explores how the entire family can thrive collectively. As we navigate through this discussion, it's evident that Aparna's approach is rooted in empathy and understanding. Her personal journey, combined with her professional experiences, has shaped a coaching model that goes beyond surface-level solutions. Aparna believes in the transformative power of identifying moms' needs, core values, and priorities, ultimately enhancing communication within the family. (10:24) What is mindfulness Let's start with the basics - what exactly is mindfulness? According to Aparna, it's all about heart-centered awareness and being present in the moment. For her, it started in her college days, during a tough semester. The calm it brought her was like a breath of fresh air. Here's what she had to say, "I really loved that feeling of calm that came over me, that feeling of presence. And also being in community too.” Mindfulness, as Aparna describes, is the ticket to being in the moment. It's about connecting with your family, knowing where you're at in life, and waving goodbye to those worries. Aparna's got a nifty trick up her sleeve - a daily reminder on her phone to take five or ten deep breaths. Simple, yet game-changing. "And the more I'm tuned into that, the less worries come, the less I feel, you know, dread for my day, or stress for my da,” says Aparna. Now, let's get practical. Aparna drops a strategy bomb on us. She suggests taking those five or ten deep breaths daily. It's not just a suggestion; it's a life hack. Aparna emphasizes, "It's a practice of really having your mind and your body become aware of the times when you need to feel that sense of calm before you become burnt out.” Here's where I chime in. I can vouch for Aparna's tip. It's deceptively simple but incredibly effective. I shared with her my struggles with consistency, and she agreed, "But when I do things like a very simple and quick mindfulness practice, like just five or 10 deep breaths, man, does it really change the way that I feel in my body?" And there it is, the clarity we all crave. Aparna acknowledges that it's about follow-through and consistency. But, as she points out, it's about meeting parents where they're at and not adding to their stress. She's all about integrating practical, shorter, and more effective techniques into daily life. (13:03) So Aparna specializes in both meditation and deep breathing. Curious about how Aparna found her way into this practice, I asked her. She shared, "I created meditation for myself about seven, eight years ago during this time of transition." It's a personal journey that became a powerful tool for understanding triggers and finding peace amidst life's chaos. Meditation, as Aparna explains, is not about becoming the perfect, peaceful person you might envision on a serene yoga mat. It's about sitting or lying with your thoughts and emotions, observing them, and learning to let them go. Aparna emphasizes the beauty of sitting with and understanding the waves of life that wash over you. In Aparna's words, "It doesn't have to be with a yoga mat or a meditation cushion, or you have to have an environment that looks really pretty and nice. It's more for you as well too." Remember that, folks—it's about your journey, not Instagram-worthy setups. Now, let's talk about deep breathing and breathwork. Aparna spills the beans on how this practice is a fantastic tool for tackling stuck emotions, health issues, or grief. Aparna breaks it down brilliantly. Meditation is that still, quiet space where you connect with yourself, while breathwork is more active and intentional, a conscious effort to release what's bubbling up inside you. It's like a dance between stillness and activation. I couldn't help but share my own experience with Aparna. Meditation can be a challenge, especially for someone with a busy brain like mine. But Aparna, being the guiding light she is, reassured me: "That just means I need more practice and to give myself grace for it being challenging." For those with ADHD or focus issues, Aparna highlights the effectiveness of breathwork. It's a tool, a proactive and active one at that, providing an alternative for those finding stillness in meditation a tad challenging. She notes that while meditation might take time to develop, breathwork can be an easier entry point for many. (16:46) So, I had this heart-to-heart with Aparna, and she laid out the goldmine of benefits that a mindfulness practice can bring into your life. It's not just about personal calm; it's about creating a ripple effect that touches your entire environment. I asked Aparna to spill the beans on what people can gain by committing to a mindfulness practice. Brace yourselves, because what she shared is nothing short of transformational. According to Aparna, personally, it brought more calm into her mind and body. The stress levels took a nosedive, and she found herself reacting less to family and setbacks. But it goes beyond personal peace – mindfulness helps you observe, accept, and

Ready to reclaim your mornings from the clutches of chaos? Yes, you read that right. I'm back to talk about morning mayhem again! Episode #6 of Season 1 of the podcast was all about this topic, and here I am again, 84 episodes later, still battling the same beast. But hey, that's the beauty of parenting, right? It's a constant journey of growth and learning, and sometimes we have to revisit the same challenges over and over again. Why I Chose This Topic (Again!) There are a few reasons why I felt compelled to bring up morning mayhem once more. I'm still in it myself: Let's be honest, mornings can be tough for everyone. But for parents of highly sensitive children or kids with ADHD, anxiety, or other challenges, they can be chronically chaotic. Something is in the water: Maybe it's just coincidence, but I've been hearing from a lot of clients lately who are also struggling with mornings. So, I thought it would be helpful to share my own experiences and the strategies I'm using to try to tame the morning beast once again. A chance to demonstrate the 3D Parent approach applied to a common challenge: I created the 3D Parent approach as a framework for helping parents navigate the challenges of raising complex children. And what better way to showcase it than by applying it to a real-life problem I'm facing myself? Dive deep into Episode #90 where I tackle the common challenge of difficult mornings head-on armed with The 3D Parent Approach! You'll discover practical strategies, insightful tips, and a healthy dose of empathy to help you transform your mornings from battlegrounds to blissful beginnings. READY TO TAKE YOUR PARENTING TO THE NEXT LEVEL?: **For Coaching Services** If you're looking for personalized guidance and support, consider exploring my parent coaching services. Let's work together to tailor the 3D Parent Approach to your unique parenting journey. CLICK HERE to book a complimentary parent coach consultation call. **Become a Podcast Guest** Are you ready to share your parenting challenges and triumphs? Become a guest and receive a free parent coaching session on my podcast, CLICK HERE and let's tackle your parenting concerns together. Your experience can inspire and support other parents facing similar struggles.

Are you drowning in the sea of guilt about past parenting choices, or minimizing their impact by saying "I turned out fine"? Stop! Both extremes do your child a disservice. This episode of The 3D Parent Podcast dives deep into the the three phases of Discipline with Dignity: Proactive Discipline, Active Discipline, and Retroactive Discipline. Together, we'll learn how to build a secure connection with your child, navigate challenges together, and set healthy boundaries without resorting to drama.  Here's what you'll discover on this jam-packed episode: Why minimizing past hurts doesn't help: Unhealed wounds can impact your child unconsciously, affecting their emotional development and future relationships. The ultimate goal of 3D parenting: Foster authentic maturity, healthy emotional development, and a secure, deeply connected relationship with your child. The power of proactive discipline: Get ahead of conflicts by building trust and connection with your child. Learn the "Connect before Direct" strategy and watch those power struggles fade away. Setting structures and rules: Establish clear expectations around common areas of conflict, avoiding future frustration. Talking through challenges: Prepare your child for situations that might be tricky, reducing anxieties and promoting positive choices. Active discipline for tough moments: When your child needs a firm limit, learn the Adaptive Cycle framework and use your authority to help them adapt to frustration with resilience. Incident management without parental escalation: No more yelling or threats! Discover "The 3 Do's of Incident Management": 1)Do no harm, 2)Do take charge, and 3) Do circle back later when emotions are calm. Retroactive discipline: Repair and reflection: Learn the "Circle Back Conversation" to address past problems, build remorse, and encourage responsibility. Congratulations, parents! You've completed The 3D Parent Bootcamp. I hope you're feeling inspired and empowered to apply The 3D Parent model in your parenting journey. Remember, you have everything within you to provide what your child needs to grow, mature, and flourish. READY TO BLOOM IN YOUR PARENTING JOURNEY? Subscribe to The 3D Parent Podcast and unlock the magic of The 3D Parent Approach. Remember, you are the gardener, your child is the seed, and together you can blossom into a thriving parent-child relationship. READY TO TAKE YOUR PARENTING TO THE NEXT LEVEL?:  For Coaching Services: If you're looking for personalized guidance and support, consider exploring my parent coaching services. Let's work together to tailor the 3D Parent Approach to your unique parenting journey. CLICK HERE to book a complimentary parent coach consultation call. Become a Podcast Guest: Are you ready to share your parenting challenges and triumphs? Become a guest and receive a free parent coaching session on my podcast, CLICK HERE and let's tackle your parenting concerns together. Your experience can inspire and support other parents facing similar struggles. CONNECT WITH ME: The 3D Parent on Instagram The 3D Parent on Facebook **The 3D Parent Lounge Free Facebook Community** EPISODE RESOURCES: Traffic Circle Graphic Pam Leo’s book, Connection Parenting The Neufeld Institute

Tired of yelling, time-outs, and power struggles? You're not alone. Traditional discipline methods often leave both parents and children feeling frustrated, hurt, and disconnected. But what if there was a better way? A way to guide your children towards good behavior while preserving their dignity and nurturing your relationship?  This episode of The 3D Parent Podcast introduces Discipline with Dignity, a revolutionary approach that redefines discipline as leadership, teaching, and guidance with respect. We'll dive deep into common discipline methods and expose their hidden pitfalls, from the fear-based tactics of yelling and spanking to the emotional manipulation of shaming and guilting. But this isn't just about what not to do. We'll also equip you with the two essential tools for effectiveDiscipline with Dignity: your deeply connected relationship with your child and your clear leadership as the "nurturing alpha." Here's what you'll learn: Why traditional discipline methods often backfire and can damage your relationship with your child. The true meaning of discipline: to lead, guide, create order, and impart knowledge with respect. The two essential tools for Discipline with Dignity: a strong connection and clear leadership. Real-world strategies to address common behavioral challenges without resorting to outdated tactics. How to embrace your role as the "nurturing alpha" and guide your children with confidence. Discipline with Dignity is more than a parenting technique; it's a shift in mindset. It's about treating your child with the respect they deserve while still providing the guidance they need to thrive. Ready to ditch the drama and build a stronger, more fulfilling relationship with your child?Subscribe to The 3D Parent Podcast now and discover the power of Discipline with Dignity! Bonus: Don't miss Part 2 of this episode, where we'll delve deeper into specific strategies for meeting your child's needs and building a healthy parent-child dynamic! READY TO TAKE YOUR PARENTING TO THE NEXT LEVEL?:  For Coaching Services: If you're looking for personalized guidance and support, consider exploring my parent coaching services. Let's work together to tailor the 3D Parent Approach to your unique parenting journey. CLICK HERE to book a complimentary parent coach consultation call. Become a Podcast Guest: Are you ready to share your parenting challenges and triumphs? Become a guest and receive a free parent coaching session on my podcast, CLICK HERE and let's tackle your parenting concerns together. Your experience can inspire and support other parents facing similar struggles. CONNECT WITH ME: The 3D Parent on Instagram The 3D Parent on Facebook **The 3D Parent Lounge Free Facebook Community**

Are your kids acting out, withdrawing, or just not quite themselves? It might be a sign they're starving for connection. Beyond food and water – a deep, secure bond with you is the greatest need your child has, and it's more crucial for their well-being than you might think. In this episode, I'll dive into the second "D" of The 3D Parent Model: Deep Connection. You'll discover: Why attachment is the secret weapon of emotional health: Maslow had it wrong, folks! This isn't just about basic needs; a secure connection with you paves the way for stronger self-esteem, resilience, and even academic success. The 6 stages of attachment: From seeking physical contact as a baby to wanting to share their deepest secrets as a teen--this framework helps you understand your child's evolving needs. Is your child's connection cup running empty? Learn to recognize the signs of insecure attachment, from clinginess to withdrawal, and discover what you can do to turn things around. Actionable steps to deepen your connection: No more vague advice! I'll give you practical tips for every age, from simple rituals and "special time" to navigating the tricky world of teenage communication.  This isn't just another parenting podcast. It's a blueprint for building a foundation of love and security that will last a lifetime. So ditch the screens, put down the to-do list, and tune in to the episode that could change everything for your family. More than just parenting tips, this episode is a call to action. It's time to prioritize connection and break the cycle of relational connection starvation that so many children experience. By investing in this crucial bond, you're not just building a stronger relationship, you're contributing to the conditions which will result in a thriving, resilient adult. Don't wait! Subscribe to The 3D Parent Podcast now and: Uncover the secrets of secure attachment and its impact on your child's emotional health. Learn practical strategies to deepen your connection at every stage of your child's development. Become the nurturing parent your child needs and unlock their full potential. READY TO TAKE YOUR PARENTING TO THE NEXT LEVEL?:  For Coaching Services: If you're looking for personalized guidance and support, consider exploring my parent coaching services. Let's work together to tailor the 3D Parent Approach to your unique parenting journey. CLICK HERE to book a complimentary parent coach consultation call. Become a Podcast Guest: Are you ready to share your parenting challenges and triumphs? Become a guest and receive a free parent coaching session on my podcast, CLICK HERE and let's tackle your parenting concerns together. Your experience can inspire and support other parents facing similar struggles. CONNECT WITH ME: The 3D Parent on Instagram The 3D Parent on Facebook **The 3D Parent Lounge Free Facebook Community**

In this eye-opening episode, I guide you through the art of asking the RIGHT questions in parenting. In the fast-paced world of parenting, it's easy to get lost. The concept of "Parenting with Direction" emphasizes the significance of cultivating curiosity about oneself, one's child, and the parent-child relationship. This curiosity acts as a compass, guiding parents through the intricate journey of understanding their child and their parenting challenges. The importance of asking the right questions cannot be overstated. Many parents instinctively ask, "What should I do when my kid does _____?" when faced with challenging behaviors. Redirecting this focus towards decoding behaviors and understanding the root cause sets the stage for a more effective parenting strategy. In this episode, I will guide you through decoding behaviors. Decoding behaviors is not about controlling them but understanding their origins. By asking critical questions – Is it me? Is it my child? Is it us? – parents begin to unravel the complexities of their child's behavior. This process is foundational to becoming the true expert on their unique child. Points we discuss include:● Introduction to 3D Parent Approach: Parenting with Direction● Asking the Right Questions● Emotional Maturity and Development● Assessing for Behavioral Challenges● Parenting with Directional Focus READY TO TAKE YOUR PARENTING TO THE NEXT LEVEL?:  For Coaching Services: If you're looking for personalized guidance and support, consider exploring my parent coaching services. Let's work together to tailor the 3D Parent Approach to your unique parenting journey. CLICK HERE to book a complimentary parent coach consultation call. Become a Podcast Guest: Are you ready to share your parenting challenges and triumphs? Become a guest and receive a free parent coaching session on my podcast, CLICK HERE and let's tackle your parenting concerns together. Your experience can inspire and support other parents facing similar struggles.  CONNECT WITH ME: The 3D Parent on Instagram The 3D Parent on Facebook **The 3D Parent Lounge Free Facebook Community**

Get ready to unearth the secrets of becoming Nurturing Alpha parent on our latest episode! This episode of The 3D Parent Podcast introduces the concept of parenting like a gardener inspired by developmentalism rather than outdated behaviorism, AKA sculptor parenting. Forget rewards and punishments, coercion and control. Instead, foster a fertile environment where your child can naturally blossom into their most authentic self. We'll explore: The Gardener vs. Sculptor: Why shaping behaviors often backfires, and how focusing on fostering growth leads to genuine maturity. Decoding Behavior: Understand the "why" behind your child's actions, instead of getting stuck in the "what." Building Secure Attachments: Discover the power of connection and empathy in shaping positive parent-child relationships. Overcoming Common Barriers: Learn to manage your own emotional regulation, set healthy boundaries, and build confidence as a parent. Stop trying to control and start nurturing. Become the guide, the supporter, the safe haven that allows your child to unfold their unique potential. Ready to ditch the drama and cultivate a thriving relationship with your child? Subscribe to The 3D Parent Podcast now and discover the transformative power of the Nurturing Alpha approach. Bonus: In the next episode, we'll dive deep into the first "D" of 3D Parenting: Direction. Learn how to guide your child with clarity and empathy, without resorting to manipulation or control. READY TO TAKE YOUR PARENTING TO THE NEXT LEVEL?:  For Coaching Services: If you're looking for personalized guidance and support, consider exploring my parent coaching services. Let's work together to tailor the 3D Parent Approach to your unique parenting journey. CLICK HERE to book a complimentary parent coach consultation call. Become a Podcast Guest: Are you ready to share your parenting challenges and triumphs? Become a guest and receive a free parent coaching session on my podcast, CLICK HERE and let's tackle your parenting concerns together. Your experience can inspire and support other parents facing similar struggles. CONNECT WITH ME: The 3D Parent on Instagram The 3D Parent on Facebook **The 3D Parent Lounge Free Facebook Community** EPISODE RESOURCES:Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Dr. Lindsay Gibson Atlas of the Heart by Brene Brown Hold Onto Your Kids by Dr. Gordon Neufeld and Gabor Mate