Stinker Madness - The Bad Movie Podcast

Thrill as J-Lo complains in a chair in front of green screen for 45 minutes. That butt, tho.... "Atlas," starring Jennifer Lopez, aims to be a thrilling sci-fi adventure but ultimately lands in the realm of forgettable mediocrity. The plot, which revolves around a dystopian future and a battle for humanity's survival, is riddled with flaws and holes that make suspension of disbelief a constant struggle. The storyline feels hastily stitched together, with plot twists that are more confusing than surprising. Lopez's portrayal of Atlas, the protagonist, is another sticking point. The character is meant to be a strong, determined leader, but instead comes across as overly whiny and frustratingly indecisive. This makes it difficult to root for her, as her constant complaints overshadow any moments of genuine heroism or strength. The dialogue in "Atlas" doesn't help matters. It often feels stilted and unnatural, almost as if it was generated by an AI—mechanical and devoid of real human touch. Characters spout lines that are meant to be profound or witty, but end up sounding awkward and forced. In the end, "Atlas" isn't terrible enough to be a guilty pleasure, nor is it good enough to leave a lasting impression. It's the kind of movie that slips through the cracks of memory, neither bad enough to laugh at nor good enough to recommend. If you're looking for a mindless sci-fi flick to pass the time, "Atlas" might just do the trick—but don't expect it to be anything more than a fleeting diversion.

Less people get sat on by robots in war, I guess. So Robot Jox is a conglomeration of many other staples in 1989. You've got a post-apocalyptic setting thanks to the Cold War. You've got a sports related global event ala Rollerball, Deathrace 2000, Running Man, et. al. And you've got robots fighting ala Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots. Ok, maybe the last one was a stretch but you get the picture. Lastly, you've got a critical factor. George Lucas.  Yes, Lucas made all the money when he kept the licensing rights to the Star Wars franchise and then became the richest man in the galaxy when the toy line was released. Well, Charles Band hoped for no less. With the meteoric rise of The Transformers and subsequent collapse when the killed Optimus Prime within the first 10 seconds of the movie, Charlie say an opportunity to sell giant robots IF the movie Robot Jox was successful.  Narrator: It was not. Oh well. But it does add a very interesting connection to another film that wanted to make all the toys - Megaforce. But that's not where the connections stop. There's much thumb gesturing, a general friendship/enemyship between the sides, the general tone and aesthetic, each have Tex characters, a lead that's just a big cheesedick (ok that's a lot of movies), a useless and vague system of resolving conflicts between nations and a female love interest/agitator to the lead that bear strong resemblances to each other. So as to the film. Well.... its a very interesting world for a PA movie. With most being just roving hordes of bandits running through the desert in junker cars attacking scantily clad women until a lone warrior comes to town. This world is actually more like something out of a sci-fi book with subtle geo-political themes and technological ideas that....well... sadly, go completely unfulfilled and unexplored. The creepiness of the butt hole lead are far more developed and way overindulged.  How about some positives?  Well the effects are some of the best I've seen from a Charlie Band film. The stop-motion animation brings these colossal robots to life with a fluidity and realism that still holds up today, making the combat sequences believable and genuine. The miniatures themselves are well designed and the fight sequences are gonna give your robot fighting fan all that's wanted for a non-cgi film. "Robot Jox" is a delightfully goofy, visually impressive film that sparkles but doesn't ever shine. The stunning miniature work and stop-motion animation make it a must-watch for fans of practical effects, and while the protagonist and plot leave much to be desired, they somehow add to the film's quirky appeal. If you're looking for a fun, nostalgic trip with a healthy dose of 80s sci-fi flair, "Robot Jox" is the perfect pick. But for us....we're gonna stay on Team Megaforce.

The Highlander theatrical cannon comes to a close...by making all the same mistakes as the first two movies and we can't thank them enough for it. Highlander: Final Dimensions is a rollercoaster of absurdity that somehow manages to entertain despite its sheer ridiculousness. From the mind-boggling plot that's as convoluted as a tangled ball of yarn to the laughably bad acting that makes you wonder if the cast drew straws to see who would overact the most, this movie truly embraces its own brand of campiness. Let's talk about those special effects. Cheesy doesn't even begin to cover it. It's like someone raided the bargain bin at a 90s CGI outlet store and said, 'Yep, this'll do.' But you know what? It adds to the charm. You can't help but chuckle at the sight of the so-called 'epic battles' that look like they were choreographed by toddlers with foam swords. And then there's Mario Van Peebles. Bless his heart, he goes all-in with a portrayal that can only be described as unhinged. It's like he read the script and decided to throw any semblance of sanity out the window. But hey, at least he's committed, right? But here's the thing about Highlander: Final Dimensions—it knows exactly what it is. It's not trying to be highbrow cinema or win Oscars. It's embracing the insanity of the Highlander trilogy with open arms and inviting you along for the ride. And what a wild ride it is. So, if you're in the mood for some mindless fun, grab your popcorn, suspend your disbelief, and dive headfirst into the glorious mess that is Highlander: Final Dimensions. Because sometimes, you just need a movie that's as bonkers as this trilogy to remind you that cinema doesn't always have to make sense to be entertaining.

Its that time of year where we celebrate another year of reviewing and loving bad movies. Each year we count down our individual favorite movies we saw in the last 12 months. If you want to find out exactly which bad movies you should watch right now, this is the episode you'll want to listen to. Can we finally all agree on a #1? Plus we also countdown our favorite 3 movies released in 2023.

Are you enough of a tough guy verbally to handle how much of a tough guy everyone is in this movie when even the ladies are tough guys? No chance. "The Rage" is a rollercoaster of a movie, and not necessarily in a good way. Strap in for some truly crazy stunts that will have you gripping the edge of your seat... or maybe just scratching your head in confusion. Lorenzo Lamas, Gary Busey, and Roy Scheider lead the charge in this adrenaline-fueled thriller, but even their combined star power can't salvage the wreckage of a script that seems to have been cobbled together in a hurry. The dialogue is so melodramatic it borders on unintentional comedy, and not even Busey's trademark wild-eyed intensity can save it. Sure, there are moments where the action ramps up to heart-pounding levels, with stunts that defy logic and gravity alike. But every time you start to feel the adrenaline kick in, you're rudely yanked back to reality by yet another cringe-worthy set of dialogue. In the end, "The Rage" is like a souped-up sports car with a faulty engine – it may look flashy on the outside, but once you get behind the wheel, you realize it's headed straight for a cliff.

Hot coeds go to a bowling alley and unlock a poop monster and find death and love in the process. "Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama" is a delightful romp through the absurd and the outrageous, delivering a unique blend of horror, comedy, and pure camp that is sure to entertain audiences of all tastes. Released in 1987, this cult classic is a testament to the creativity and ingenuity of low-budget filmmaking. First and foremost, the film's title alone sets the tone for the wild ride viewers are about to embark upon. It promises a mix of sorority shenanigans, grody antics, and the unlikeliest of settings—a bowling alley. And boy, does it deliver! From the moment the opening credits roll, audiences are thrust into a world where anything goes and no joke is too outrageous. What truly sets "Sorority Babes" apart is its commitment to embracing its B-movie roots with open arms. The practical effects may be cheesy by today's standards, but they're executed with such infectious enthusiasm that it's impossible not to be charmed. From the mischievous imp in a bowling trophy to the gloriously over-the-top finale, every scene is infused with a sense of fun and a knowing wink to the audience. In the end, "Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama" is a love letter to the spirit of budget filmmaking and the power of embracing the unconventional. It may not be high art, but it's an absolute blast from start to finish—a must-see for fans of cult cinema and anyone looking for a good time at the movies. So grab your popcorn, gather your friends, and prepare to be bowl-o-ramaed!

Its bad. I mean, so, so, so very bad. Like "worst movie of all time discussion" bad. "Rollerball" (2002) is a cinematic catastrophe of epic proportions. This abomination of a film is a perfect storm of incompetence, delivering an experience so profoundly dreadful that it defies all reason and logic. From its mind-numbingly idiotic plot to its nauseatingly abysmal editing, every aspect of this cinematic disaster screams of ineptitude. Let's start with the plot—or rather, the lack thereof. Attempting to discern any semblance of coherence or intelligence from the narrative of "Rollerball" is an exercise in futility. It's as if the writers threw darts at a board covered in clichés and assembled whatever they hit. The result is a plot so insanely stupid that it effectively nullifies its own existence. Characters flail about in a sea of nonsensical motivations and contrived conflicts, leaving audiences scratching their heads in bewilderment and frustration. But the plot is only the tip of the iceberg of incompetence. The editing in "Rollerball" is a masterclass in how not to edit a film. Action sequences, purportedly the film's main draw, are rendered incomprehensible by choppy cuts and frenetic camerawork. Every punch, kick, and jump is shrouded in a haze of confusion, leaving viewers squinting at the screen in vain attempts to discern what is happening. It's a dizzying, disorienting mess that serves only to induce headaches and nausea. And then there's the infamous night vision sequence—a nauseating descent into visual hell that defies description. This sequence, purportedly intended to add tension and excitement, instead serves as a testament to the filmmakers' complete disregard for their audience's well-being. The frenzied camera movements combined with the sickly green tint of the night vision filter result in a sensory assault of epic proportions, leaving viewers reaching for the nearest barf bag. As if the technical incompetence wasn't enough, "Rollerball" also boasts a cast whose performances range from forgettable to cringe-worthy. Chris Klein, Rebecca Romijn, and LL Cool J stumble through their lines with all the grace and charisma of cardboard cutouts, their accents veering wildly between inconsistent and outright laughable. It's a parade of mediocrity that only serves to compound the film's myriad failures. In conclusion, "Rollerball" is unequivocally the worst movie we've ever reviewed. Yes, its a more poorly made and executed that "Mortal Kombat: Annihilation". Its plot is a nonsensical mess, its editing is a nauseating nightmare, and its performances are uniformly terrible. And yet, despite all of its flaws, it remains a must-watch for aficionados of cinematic train wrecks. So gather your friends, stock up on barf bags, and prepare to witness the cinematic equivalent of a dumpster fire. You'll regret every minute of it, but you won't be able to look away.

 Dalton hasn't calmed down much in 35 years but he's gotten a lot more polite when he's punching your nose into your face. "Roadhouse" (2024) starring Jake Gyllenhaal offers a lukewarm viewing experience that leaves much to be desired. While the action direction from Doug Liman is undeniably thrilling, it's unfortunately overshadowed by a frustratingly lackluster script that feels like a missed opportunity at every turn. Gyllenhaal steps into the iconic role with commendable effort, bringing his own spin to the character, but ultimately, the script fails to fully utilize his talents. The plot feels disjointed and often veers into the realm of the absurd, leaving audiences scratching their heads rather than fully immersed in the action. One can't help but compare this rendition to the beloved original, which continues to draw annual viewings from dedicated movie lovers. While the 2024 version has its moments of excitement, it lacks the timeless appeal and depth of its predecessor. Overall, "Roadhouse" (2024) is not an unenjoyable experience, but it's certainly a one-and-done affair. Viewers may find themselves entertained in the moment, but it's unlikely to leave a lasting impression or inspire repeated viewings.

Rosie O'Donnell does the thing Robert Downey Jr. said never to do and earns all of the internet's hatred...but is it deserved? "Riding the Bus with My Sister" is a film that falls squarely in the realm of made-for-TV movies, a genre often associated with mediocrity. Yet, within this sea of forgettable productions, this 2005 offering manages to stand out—not necessarily as a shining gem, but certainly as a passable diversion. On the surface, it's easy to dismiss "Riding the Bus with My Sister" as just another Hallmark Channel movie, known for their often formulaic and saccharine narratives. And while this film does share some of those traits, it also manages to offer moments of genuine warmth and sincerity that elevate it slightly above the typical Hallmark fare. One of the most notable aspects of the film is Rosie O'Donnell's portrayal of a neuro-divergent character—a choice that has garnered both criticism and praise. It's undeniable that in today's landscape, casting decisions like this would be scrutinized for lacking authenticity and representation. However, it's important to recognize that the fault lies not with O'Donnell herself, but with the industry norms of the time. The story itself follows familiar beats: estranged siblings reconnecting, personal growth through shared experiences, and the power of acceptance and understanding. While these themes are handled competently, they lack the depth and nuance that could elevate the film to something truly memorable. In the end, "Riding the Bus with My Sister" is a middling affair, neither deserving of the vitriol it sometimes receives nor the effusive praise from certain quarters. It's a movie that fulfills its modest ambitions without ever truly transcending them. And while it may not be a masterpiece, it serves as a reminder of the limitations and missed opportunities that often characterize made-for-TV productions.

A cavalcade of terrible decisions that 3 Oscar winners and an Emmy winner decided was good for them, gave us a movie that's good for us but no one else. "Tiptoes" is a cinematic trainwreck that defies all expectations of quality filmmaking. From its cringe-inducing dialogue to its baffling plot twists, this movie is a prime example of how NOT to make a film. Despite boasting not one, not two, but THREE Oscar-winning actors in its cast, "Tiptoes" is a catastrophic failure that leaves audiences scratching their heads in disbelief. The film clumsily attempts to tackle serious themes, masquerading as Oscar bait with its contrived drama and heavy-handed messages. However, instead of delivering poignant moments, it delivers unintentional hilarity. You'll find yourself laughing at scenes that were clearly meant to evoke tears. But the real kicker? Gary Oldman, a supremely talented actor, is somehow stuffed into a couch for a significant portion of the movie, both literally and metaphorically. Yes, you read that right. In a desperate attempt at authenticity, the filmmakers thought it would be a good idea to confine one of Hollywood's finest actors to the confines of furniture. It's as absurd as it sounds. Just cast a little person in the role, dammit!!! "Tiptoes" is a disaster from start to finish, a cautionary tale in the annals of cinema history. Save yourself the agony and steer clear of this cinematic dumpster fire. Even the presence of Oscar winners can't salvage this mess. Unless you're like us, and then its a must watch.

The nachos I ate during viewing were far more explosive. Blown Away (1994) has all the ingredients for a high-octane thriller, with an explosive premise centered around a former IRA terrorist, played by Jeff Bridges, who becomes a bomb disposal expert. However, the end result is an underwhelming movie that leaves audiences feeling like they've just sat through a 2-hour snooze fest. The film is full of promise, but it fails to deliver on its potential. One of the most glaring issues with Blown Away is its lack of pacing. Despite the promise of the plot, the film drags on for what feels like an eternity. The pacing is so sluggish that it becomes a struggle to stay engaged with the story. Additionally, the movie is filled with far too many scenes that seem to exist solely for the purpose of having "bomb" in the them. These scenes are repetitive and add little to the overall plot, making them feel like filler. Another major problem with Blown Away is its failure to establish any real stakes. The film never truly feels suspenseful or thrilling, as there is no sense of danger or urgency. The lack of stakes makes it difficult for audiences to become invested in the story or care about the characters. Its just a guy clipping the red wire frequently. Action wire cutters! Furthermore, the film is riddled with annoying characters and unnecessary exposition that detract from the overall experience. Tommy Lee Jones's character is especially grating, and his incessant need to crack jokes and spout off one-liners quickly becomes tiresome. In conclusion, Blown Away has an interesting premise and a talented cast, but it ultimately fails to deliver on its potential. The lack of pacing, stakes, and annoying characters make it a tedious and unenjoyable watch.

Notorious for being one of the biggest flops of all time, can it be as bad as history has made it out to be?  The 1987 film "Ishtar" and let me just say, is...confusing. The movie seems to have garnered a reputation for being a colossal flop, and while I can understand why some might hold that opinion, I believe there's more to it than meets the eye. Let's start with the positives. It's clear that Warren Beatty and Dustin Hoffman, two respected actors, had a chemistry that worked on screen. Their comedic timing, though often misfired, had moments of genuine amusement. Moreover, I can't help but appreciate the audacity of the film's premise: two struggling musicians get caught up in a web of international intrigue while trying to make it big in North Africa. It's the sort of outlandish setup that could have resulted in a cult classic if executed differently. Think Romancing the Stone but executed like Condorman. Yet, execution is where the film struggles most. The jokes, while sometimes clever, often fall flat. The film's pacing is erratic, and at times, it feels like it's meandering without a clear sense of direction. It's as if the film doesn't quite know what it wants to be: a political satire, a buddy comedy, or a musical journey. Speaking of musical journey, let's talk about the songs. They're bad. Really bad. And that's not a criticism, it's intentional. It's evident that the film's creators wanted to parody the cheesy pop songs of the '80s, and in that regard, they succeeded. Beatty and Hoffman deliver these intentionally bad songs in an intentionally bad manner, and while I respect the commitment, it doesn't necessarily make for an enjoyable viewing experience. Ultimately, "Ishtar" is a film with good intentions and a willingness to take risks. It tries to do something different and bold, and for that, I can't completely write it off. However, it's clear that it doesn't fully succeed in its ambitions. It's not as bad as its reputation suggests, but it's also not very good. Whether that's enough to warrant a watch, well, that's for you to decide.

I fell in love with these murderous undead bastards and there's nothing wrong with our love!!! Lisa Frankenstein is a delightful film that takes classic Gothic horror elements and sprinkles them with an unparalleled whimsy. The movie hits all the right notes with precision and panache, creating a memorable viewing experience that leaves a lasting impression. This praise-worthy offering deserves applause for several reasons. First and foremost, the cast deserves immense credit for bringing their A-game to the table. Each actor fully embodies their respective characters, breathing life into the quirky, offbeat personalities we've come to love. Their chemistry on-screen is palpable, making their interactions feel genuine and heartfelt. From the leading roles to the supporting cast, every performance is delivered with impeccable timing and nuance. The art direction in Lisa Frankenstein is a feast for the eyes, blending the familiar with the fantastical. The sets are rich in detail, transporting viewers to a world that's equal parts eerie and enchanting. The vivid color palette and imaginative designs create a visual spectacle that's truly mesmerizing. Zelda Williams' directorial debut is nothing short of impressive. Her vision for the film is evident in every frame, showcasing her talent and passion for storytelling. She strikes the perfect balance between comedy and romance, ensuring that both elements are given their due. Her direction adds depth to the characters and amplifies the film's emotional resonance. The cinematography in Lisa Frankenstein is breathtaking, capturing the film's whimsical charm and gothic aesthetic with finesse. The camera work is dynamic and inventive, enhancing the narrative and immersing viewers in the story. Every shot is carefully composed, creating a visual masterpiece that's as captivating as it is stunning. The script is another standout element of the film, filled with witty dialogue and clever humor. The writing is sharp and engaging, keeping audiences entertained from start to finish. The story unfolds with a perfect blend of suspense, humor, and heart, making for an unforgettable cinematic experience. Last but not least, the score is a standout component of Lisa Frankenstein, enhancing the film's atmosphere and adding depth to its emotional beats. The music is evocative and memorable, perfectly complementing the action on-screen. It's a testament to the talent of the composers, who have crafted a score that's both timeless and unforgettable. In summary, Lisa Frankenstein is a cinematic gem that deserves all the praise it (erroneously) hasn't received. It's a rare find in today's film landscape, hitting all the right notes with charm and grace. From its stellar cast to its captivating art direction, this movie is a must-see for any fan of fun, quirky and horror comedies with a twist. It's clear that the cast and crew poured their hearts and souls into this project, and their dedication shines through in every frame. If you haven't already, do yourself a favor and give Lisa Frankenstein a watch – you won't be disappointed.

Thirsty vamps get Ubered around town on a poorly thought out territory takeover only to find true love in....Benny? "Night Teeth," the latest Netflix Original Movie, is a cocktail of clichés served with a side of disappointment. While the premise promises a thrilling ride through the underworld of vampires, the execution falls flat, leaving viewers with a lukewarm taste in their mouths. One of the most glaring issues with "Night Teeth" is its lack of originality. From the very beginning, it feels like we've seen this story a thousand times before, just with different actors and slightly altered plot points. The predictable narrative unfolds at a snail's pace, failing to offer any surprises or twists to keep the audience engaged. Adding insult to injury, the characters in "Night Teeth" are as forgettable as they come. There's not a single likable soul among them, which makes it difficult to invest in their fates or care about their struggles. The vampires, in particular, are portrayed as nothing more than smug, one-dimensional jerks who lack any depth or nuance. As for the lead character, he's little more than a buffoon stumbling his way through the plot. His constant blunders and foolish decisions make it impossible to root for him, and it's frustrating to watch him fall victim to what can only be described as 'the idiot plot'—where the story only progresses because the characters behave irrationally. In the end, "Night Teeth" feels like a missed opportunity to breathe new life into the vampire genre. Instead, it's a lackluster affair that fails to deliver on its promises of excitement and intrigue. Unless you're a die-hard fan of uninspired storytelling and cardboard characters, you're better off sinking your teeth into something else on Netflix's menu.

When a stuntman as prolific as John Stewart directs an action movie, you better believe you're gonna have a good time. If you're a fan of over-the-top action, jaw-dropping stunts, and a movie that never takes itself too seriously, look no further than "Action USA"! This adrenaline-fueled extravaganza is a rollercoaster of mayhem, delivering a cinematic experience that's equal parts thrilling and downright hilarious. From start to finish, "Action USA" boasts an impressive array of mind-blowing stunts that seem to defy the laws of physics. The film takes "go big or go home" to a whole new level, with each scene trying to outdo the last in a glorious display of cinematic excess. The stunt work is so over-the-top that you'll find yourself questioning if gravity even exists in this world, and that's what makes it so darn entertaining. What sets "Action USA" apart is its refusal to take itself too seriously. In a genre often marked by brooding heroes and intense drama, this film gleefully embraces its own silliness and revels in the joy of absurdity. The characters, while not aiming for Oscar-worthy performances, perfectly fit the tone of the movie, providing just enough depth to keep us invested while allowing the action to take center stage. One of the film's greatest strengths is its commitment to fun. The plot may be secondary to the jaw-dropping spectacle, but that's precisely the point. "Action USA" is a celebration of cinematic escapism, inviting the audience to buckle up and enjoy the ride without getting bogged down by unnecessary complexities. In a world filled with gritty reboots and serious action dramas, "Action USA" is a breath of fresh air. It's a time machine to the golden age of action movies, where the primary goal was to entertain and leave the audience with their hearts pounding and smiles plastered across their faces. So, grab your popcorn, suspend your disbelief, and get ready for a wild, stunt-packed journey that's as hilarious as it is heart-pounding. "Action USA" is a triumph of unabashed fun that proves sometimes, bigger really is better!

Revenge is best served at the end of a katana sword that your wife bought for you at the mall. Time to make some floured eggs. Suit up, ninja enthusiasts, because "New York Ninja" is a wild ride that takes us back to the glory days of 80s action cinema. This 2021 hidden gem, rescued from obscurity, brings us a delightful mix of a ridiculous plot, unintentionally funny fight scenes, an incredibly awesome music score, and an insane villain known as "The Plutonium Killer." Let's start with the plot – it's so over-the-top and absurd that you can't help but be entertained. From a vigilante ninja patrolling the mean streets of New York City to thwarting a nefarious plot involving plutonium man, the movie embraces every ninja cliché with open arms. The narrative is a rollercoaster of unexpected twists and turns, making it a nostalgic joy for fans of the genre. Now, let's talk about the unintentionally funny fight scenes. The choreography might not be as polished as modern martial arts films, but that's part of the charm. The exaggerated kicks, flips, and cheesy one-liners deliver a hefty dose of nostalgia, evoking memories of the martial arts classics we all secretly adore. It's as if the filmmakers decided to embrace the quirks of the 80s ninja genre, resulting in scenes that will leave you simultaneously cringing and laughing. The real star of "New York Ninja" is undoubtedly its incredible music score from Voyag3r. It's a synth-heavy, pulse-pounding masterpiece that perfectly complements the on-screen action. The music not only captures the essence of 80s cinema but elevates the overall viewing experience. Every ninja kick and punch is accentuated by a catchy beat, making you want to jump off your couch and join the action. And let's not forget about "The Plutonium Killer." Played with maniacal glee by the villain (and voiced by John Berryman), this character embodies everything we love about over-the-top antagonists from the 80s. From the flamboyant acting to the crazy makeup, The Plutonium Killer is a true highlight, leaving an indelible mark on the film's absurdity. "New York Ninja" is a delightful throwback that embraces its roots and unapologetically revels in the absurdity of 80s ninja cinema. It's a perfect blend of nostalgia and unintentional humor, with a killer soundtrack to boot. If you're in the mood for a film that doesn't take itself too seriously and transports you back to the golden era of ninja flicks, "New York Ninja" is a must-watch. Grab your popcorn, buckle your ninja headband, and prepare for a hilarious trip down memory lane.

A horror movie that thrills its audience with...uh....hmmm...sewing? Oh and a demon is summoned out of loneliness and a desire to have tea parties with dollies. This is so unbelievably bad. "Annabelle" (2014) is a cinematic catastrophe that makes you question the very fabric of horror filmmaking. From a plot that can only be summarized as "a cult summons a demon who likes to play with dolls," to characters so insipid and carelessly written that you'll find yourself wishing for their swift demise, this movie is a masterclass in how not to make a horror film. The narrative is so painfully dull that it makes you wonder if the filmmakers were even trying. The premise of a demonic entity toying with dolls could have been intriguing, but "Annabelle" manages to suck every ounce of excitement out of it. The scares are predictable, the tension is nonexistent, and the entire plot feels like a lazy rehash of every demon haunting movie ever made. Let's talk about Mia, the main character who single-handedly takes the crown for the most inexplicably stupid and careless protagonist in horror history. As she faces supernatural threats, Mia's decisions become increasingly irrational, leaving audiences more frustrated than frightened. You'll find yourself yelling at the screen, not in terror, but in disbelief at the sheer idiocy and carelessness of her actions. To add insult to injury, the film employs a narrative device that informs us the events we just suffered through never actually took place. It's a lazy attempt at following contractual obligations with the basis for it's "true story" that only serves to render the entire viewing experience utterly pointless. It's as if the filmmakers themselves realized the mess they had created and decided to hit the reset button, leaving audiences with a profound sense of wasted time. Comparing "Annabelle" to other cinematic disasters like "Monster-A-Go-Go" might actually be an insult to the latter. While both films share the common denominator of  having a plot only to reveal it was all a sham and deserving of zero stars, at least "Monster-A-Go-Go" doesn't pretend to be a good movie. In conclusion, "Annabelle" is a horror film that fails on every conceivable level – from its moronic idiot plot to its infuriatingly dimwitted characters. Save yourself the agony and opt for a more thrilling cinematic experience, even if it means watching paint dry or staring at a blank screen.

Whether they are spacemen or from 1999 or from before the dinosaurs, The Immortals make some really stupid decisions and are pretty bad for Earth. How bout there can only be none? If you're a fan of mind-bending and utterly nonsensical movies, then "Highlander 2" is your ticket to an alternate reality where coherence takes a vacation and weirdness reigns supreme. The film kicks off with a bang, introducing us to the flying porcupine brothers. Yes, you read that right. These airborne creatures are an essential part of the movie's charm, leaving audiences scratching their heads and wondering if the scriptwriter had a secret petting zoo of mythical creatures hidden away or a crack addiction. Either is the only reason why you would include these two boneheads who look ridiculous and act even worse in your Highlander movie. One of the standout moments has to be the love scene against a dingy city wall. Forget romantic sunsets or candlelit dinners; "Highlander 2" throws you into the lovely ambiance of a dirty wall in a crowded street somewhere between bizarre and uncomfortable. It's the kind of love scene that makes you question the director's choices but also keeps you glued to the screen out of sheer curiosity. Michael Ironside's character is a whole other level of ludicrous. His over-the-top performance adds a delightful layer of absurdity to the film. You can't help but chuckle at the sheer audacity of his character's antics. Ironside seems to have embraced the chaos, turning his role into a masterclass of overacting that deserves its own spotlight. And then there's Sean Connery's character, who apparently missed the memo on the rules of mortality. The film doesn't bother explaining how he's miraculously alive again, leaving us to ponder whether there's a magical head-putter-back-on machine somewhere in the Highlander universe or if Connor MacLeod's affection for Ramirez is enough to resurrect the dead. "Highlander 2" is a head-scratching, eye-rolling, and laugh-out-loud experience that defies logic at every turn. It's a cinematic rollercoaster that leaves you questioning the boundaries of storytelling and wondering if the scriptwriters were playing a game of "how many absurd elements can we fit into one movie?" If you're in the mood for a movie that embraces the chaos, revels in the nonsensical, and features flying porcupine brothers, "Highlander 2" is your golden ticket to a world where anything goes, and explanations are for the weak. Strap in, and prepare for a ride you won't soon forget – whether you like it or not. We loved it.

The Paul Bros. bench-press their way into our hearts and into a crime caper where they have to put their backs together and look over their shoulders with expressions that say, "You did it?" and "No, I thought you did it?" In the vast landscape of '90s comedies, "Double Trouble" emerges as a hidden gem that not only stands the test of time but also showcases the surprisingly impeccable comedic timing of the Paul brothers, turning what could have been just another buddy comedy into a riotous joyride. First and foremost, what sets "Double Trouble" apart is the unforeseen comedic synergy between its stars, the dynamic duo of the Paul brothers. David and Peter Paul's on-screen chemistry is nothing short of infectious, with their banter and physical comedy elevating the film to unexpected heights. The brothers' ability to bounce off each other's energy showcases a natural comedic instinct that few could have predicted, making their performances a delightful revelation. What truly sets this film apart, however, is its self-awareness. "Double Trouble" doesn't take itself too seriously, and it's this very self-awareness that adds an extra layer of humor. The Paul brothers seem to revel in poking fun at themselves, embracing their public personas with a wink and a nod. This self-deprecating humor not only endears them to the audience but also creates a unique and refreshing atmosphere that keeps viewers engaged from start to finish. The film's plot, while not groundbreaking, serves as a perfect canvas for the Paul brothers to showcase their comedic prowess. The narrative provides ample opportunities for spontaneous, laugh-out-loud moments, and the brothers seize each one with gusto. The well-crafted humor is not only in the dialogue but also in the physical comedy and absurd situations that the characters find themselves in, making "Double Trouble" a rollercoaster of hilarity. Beyond the laughs, the film's pacing deserves commendation. The comedic timing is spot-on, with jokes landing at just the right moments, creating a rhythm that keeps the audience on the edge of their seats, eager for the next punchline. The pacing, coupled with the Paul brothers' infectious energy, makes for a film that is not just funny but downright entertaining. In the end, "Double Trouble" is a testament to the unexpected comedic talents of the Paul brothers and the film's commitment to being a rollicking good time. It's a rare gem that combines self-awareness, impeccable comedic timing, and genuine fun, making it a must-watch for anyone looking to escape into a world of laughter and camaraderie.

Bruce Willis says goodbye in the only way he knows how - by blasting fools with a shotgun. Merry Christmas - you're dead! If you're a fan of detective movies, you will want a thrilling plot with well-thought-out mysteries and a satisfying resolution. Unfortunately, "Detective Knight Redemption" failed on all fronts. But, honestly, you should care about any of that. Read on. The plot of the movie is nothing short of stupid and poorly laid out. It felt as if the filmmakers prioritized flashy action sequences and brooding characters over a coherent and engaging storyline. The narrative seemed to be in a hurry to move on to the big Bruce Willis shooting scene, sacrificing any semblance of a compelling detective mystery. What disappointed me the most was how the movie glossed over Detective Knight's crime-solving process. Instead of immersing the audience in the intricacies of the investigation, the film seemed more interested in showcasing Willis in his signature shoot-'em-up style. It's almost as if the filmmakers assumed that the audience wouldn't care about the detective aspect of the movie, neglecting a fundamental element that defines the genre. While I can't deny that Bruce Willis doing Bruce Willis stuff has its appeal, it shouldn't come at the expense of a well-crafted detective plot. "Detective Knight Redemption" seems to cater more to fans of generic direct-to-video crime movies who might not mind the lack of depth in the storyline. If you're looking for substance, intricate mysteries, and a satisfying detective experience, this movie is definitely not the one for you. While it's not a good or really enjoyable movie, it is a special swan-song to one of Hollywood's biggest stars. Yes it's a DTV movie that is generic but knowing what we know about Bruce's health and capabilities at the time of filming is something special. Bruce's dedication to doing something he loved for as long as he could and a group of people around him to help him achieve that goal is inspiring. The film might not be interesting but the production of it is - and that would be a movie I would like to watch.