Reboot Your Relationship with Joe Whitcomb

Raging Against the Dying of the Light - Escaping Dante's 9th Hell...and it isn't what you think, but it is what we feel... Shame is the Name of the Game Reboot Your Relationship with Joe Whitcomb 310-560-0726 or click here to book a FREE 30 Minute Consultation: https://calendly.com/rebootyourrelationship We feel shame when we think of poorly of ourselves. It is our sense of our own incompetence, helplessness or powerlessness. Shame is the emotion that encourages us to do our best. When we are ashamed we may feel vulnerable and even helpless. Shame reflects a decrease in stature while pride is the emotion reflecting an increase in stature. Contact Joe Whitcomb, Licensed Trauma-Informed Relationship Psychotherapy Method  310-560-0726 joe@rebuildingconnection.com

Part 2: Adult Survivors of Aversive Childhood Experiences and Trauma

Part one of adult survivors of Aversive Childhood Experiences and Trauma.

Fight, Flight and Freeze Part One - Stages of Trauma Recovery within and between couples with using trauma-informed relationship psychotherapy method with Joe Whitcomb

Reboot Your Relationship with Joe Whitcomb 310-560-0726 or click here to schedule a FREE 30 Minute Consultation: https://calendly.com/rebootyourrelationship   This podcast is best for couples, relationships, PTSD and those who "rage against the dying of the light." My area of expertise consists in helping with difficulties in relationships & social relationships. Such difficulties include finding and sustaining healthy partnerships. Such difficulties include finding and sustaining healthy intimacy, healing from a painful break-up or divorce, recovering from major loss, and growing up in aversive childhood experiences, trauma and difficult circumstances. I am particularly suited to helping those who have cultivated their intellects and creativity but would now like to develop a greater awareness of their emotional world. (Neuroscience of Relationships, Emotionally Focused Therapy, Gottman Method, CBT, DBT and EMDR). Joe's approach is far from being the silent, blank therapist. His approach provides the richest and most depth and exploration of how we love, work, and play.  He works less as a teacher and therapist but more of an awakener and revealing what is already inside all of us that has been repressed or suppressed, process consultant and co-journeyman on all our heroes journey. I am also a 12 year military veteran and treat PTSD and transition. My bias is the relationships need 3 major elements to thrive and not just survive. 1.  Shared Context  2. Shared Language and Tools 3. A Community and Tribe Joe's core belief is that we are all born into relationship for relationship, love, connection, belonging.  We learned relationships in the context of relationship.  We have all experienced aversive childhood experiences and trauma where we have  been hurt, wounded and betrayed in relationship by mental, psychological, emotional and sexual abuse, addictions, abandonment, violations of human connection and loss of sense of safety, security and protection.  So, relationship is the crucible to heal our past trauma we re-enact and sometimes feel we can never get beyond the X-Factor.  Relationship is the context we have been wounded in so it is only in the context of relationship that we can be healed, therefore, it is vehicle on the path and practice of love to resolve and repair. Joe has developed brief 12-24 session relationship programs and intensives for couples to breakthrough the upper limit barriers that block them from experiences the love and intimacy both crave. My couples sessions range from 90-120 minutes and offer several couples weekend intensives for those wanting to go through a deep dive and Reboot Your Relationship.   Joe Whitcomb is a US Military Veteran and Rescuer,  Relationship Coach/Trainer/Speaker, an attachment-based, emotionally focused therapist, and developer of the Trauma-Informed Relationship Psychotherapy Method which focuses on trauma (PTSD and Aversive Childhood Experiences ACE's) and the impact on relationships, mind, body, emotions, health in couple relations, families, blending step-families, military, veterans, first responders, and adult survivors of childhood abuse/trauma. What Does it Mean to be Trauma Informed? Noticing and embracing that trauma is the expectation, not the exception – all beings experience trauma, just different levels - it doesn't matter if you were or are drowning at 1 feet, 7 feet or 21 feet, you were drowning.
 Awareness of how trauma effects the brain, body, spirit, sense of safety and security in the world
 Asking “What happened to you?” versus “What’s wrong with you?”
 Minimize re-victimization and facilitate recovery for all clients in the most culturally sensitive  way we can, taking into account culture, race, gender, sexuality, spirituality, and other factors
 Behaviors are understo

Taking Your Relationship from Ordinary to Extraordinary (1-5) Reboot Your Relationship with Joe Whitcomb Click or Copy this link to book a FREE 30 minute consultation to Reboot Your Relationship  - https://calendly.com/rebootyourrelationship

Reboot Your Relationship with Joe Whitcomb - Click here to schedule a FREE 30-minute consultation - https://calendly.com/rebootyourrelationship Reboot Your Relationship:  Joe Whitcomb Licensed Trauma-Informed Relationship Psychotherapist Author of Reboot Your Relationship available on Amazon Here’s What To Expect When You Work With Me What I Believe • Couples are seeking connection. We want to feel that connection with each other, that aliveness, that excitement, that sense of well being. It is an emotional, physical and spiritual connection. It is what we feel when we first come together with someone and “fall in love." Conflict is the motivating force for healing and growth in relationships. The conflicts are your greatest teachers. By design they are the very irritant that forms the pearl of your growth within and between. In any conflict, there are multiple dimensions occurring simultaneously. No one dimension can explain the entire conflict, so that is where I come in to help you interpret and have a deeper meaning and understanding. I believe the conflict couples experience after the “honeymoon period” of their relationship is actually necessary. Conflict points out where we don’t get our needs met. Unmet needs create a breakdown in connection, destroying passion and intimacy. Many couples don’t navigate this “power struggle” phase successfully and eventually break up or settle for a less than satisfying relationship. “To heal the war in the the world we have to heal the war between the sexes. To heal the war between the sexes we have the heal the war within ourselves. "Raging against the dying of the light!" Volatile couples are often passionate couples. "We love each other and have a good relationship, why we do end up in the same hurtful arguments?" The passion in your relationship is energizing but can also turn into fights accompanied by extreme anger. Often this results in one person withdrawing and both left feeling hurt and misunderstood. I help couples turn volatility into versatility. Volatility is explosive energy; versatility means having choices and tools to use at the right moment while keeping healthy passion alive. My couples are people who have strong relationships but need help breaking patterns that continue having them slip into a vicious cycle and vortex. Some couples come committed to having their relationship thrive, others come with the intention of working out a divorce that is collaborative and respectful and includes a co-parenting plan that works for the whole family. I also work with couples to create and implement a healthy post-divorce family life. When couples disagree, most repeat the following disruptive pattern: blame, criticize, defend, express contempt, distance, and emotionally or physically withdraw. Distress is not about how many fights you have or even if you resolve the fights. Distress is about how you fight, and whether you can retain some sort of emotional connection after the fight. While traditional types of marital counseling tend to be open-ended and seek to solve immediate problems, such as continual arguing, by focusing primarily on behavior change and communication skills, my approach hones in on increasing a couple's appreciation for how each partner feels in order to build trust and a secure base they can each rely on. In this approach, couples learn to recognize the negative (vicious) cycle and pattern 'complain-defend-complain-defe nd-complain-defend' they are stuck in, where one person criticizes and the other responds defensively or withdraws. Couples learn to identify the needs and fears that keep them in that cycle. They learn to identify and express their underlying emotions. Partners learn to empathize with each other and become more supportive of each other. Partners come together through the emotional needs they are each expressing, and can begin to comfort each other's needs.  

Reboot Your Relationship with Joe Whitcomb 310-560-0726 or click here to schedule a FREE 30 Minute Consultation: https://calendly.com/rebootyourrelationship Reboot Your Relationship with Joe Whitcomb 310-560-0726 This podcast is best for couples, relationships, PTSD and those who "rage against the dying of the light." My area of expertise consists in helping with difficulties in relationships & social relationships. Such difficulties include finding and sustaining healthy partnerships. Such difficulties include finding and sustaining healthy intimacy, healing from a painful break-up or divorce, recovering from major loss, and growing up in aversive childhood experiences, trauma and difficult circumstances. I am particularly suited to helping those who have cultivated their intellects and creativity but would now like to develop a greater awareness of their emotional world. (Neuroscience of Relationships, Emotionally Focused Therapy, Gottman Method, CBT, DBT and EMDR). Joe's approach is far from being the silent, blank therapist. His approach provides the richest and most depth and exploration of how we love, work, and play.  He works less as a teacher and therapist but more of an awakener and revealing what is already inside all of us that has been repressed or suppressed, process consultant and co-journeyman on all our heroes journey. I am also a 12 year military veteran and treat PTSD and transition. My bias is the relationships need 3 major elements to thrive and not just survive. 1.  Shared Context 2. Shared Language and Tools 3. A Community and Tribe Joe's core belief is that we are all born into relationship for relationship, love, connection, belonging.  We learned relationships in the context of relationship.  We have all experienced aversive childhood experiences and trauma where we have  been hurt, wounded and betrayed in relationship by mental, psychological, emotional and sexual abuse, addictions, abandonment, violations of human connection and loss of sense of safety, security and protection.  So, relationship is the crucible to heal our past trauma we re-enact and sometimes feel we can never get beyond the X-Factor.  Relationship is the context we have been wounded in so it is only in the context of relationship that we can be healed, therefore, it is vehicle on the path and practice of love to resolve and repair. Joe has developed brief 12-24 session relationship programs and intensives for couples to breakthrough the upper limit barriers that block them from experiences the love and intimacy both crave. Joe Whitcomb is a US Military Veteran and Rescuer,  Relationship Coach/Trainer/Speaker, an attachment-based, emotionally focused therapist, and developer of the Trauma-Informed Relationship Psychotherapy Method which focuses on trauma (PTSD and Aversive Childhood Experiences ACE's) and the impact on relationships, mind, body, emotions, health in couple relations, families, blending step-families, military, veterans, first responders, and adult survivors of childhood abuse/trauma. What Does it Mean to be Trauma Informed? Noticing and embracing that trauma is the expectation, not the exception – all beings experience trauma, just different levels - it doesn't matter if you were or are drowning at 1 feet, 7 feet or 21 feet, you were drowning. Awareness of how trauma effects the brain, body, spirit, sense of safety and security in the world Asking “What happened to you?” versus “What’s wrong with you?” Minimize re-victimization and facilitate recovery for all clients in the most culturally sensitive  way we can, taking into account culture, race, gender, sexuality, spirituality, and other factors Behaviors are understood not merely as complaints but as attempts to cope and survive This Thing We Do…So Other’s May Live and Love Well and Thrive!

This podcast is best for couples, relationships, PTSD and those who "rage against the dying of the light." My area of expertise consists in helping with difficulties in relationships & social relationships. Such difficulties include finding and sustaining healthy partnerships. Such difficulties include finding and sustaining healthy intimacy, healing from a painful break-up or divorce, recovering from major loss, and growing up in aversive childhood experiences, trauma and difficult circumstances. I am particularly suited to helping those who have cultivated their intellects and creativity but would now like to develop a greater awareness of their emotional world. (Neuroscience of Relationships, Emotionally Focused Therapy, Gottman Method, CBT, DBT and EMDR). Joe's approach, I'm far from being the silent, blank therapist. I think my approach provides the richest and most depth and exploration of how we love, work, and play. I consider myself more of a process consultant and co-journeyman. I am also a 12 year military veteran and treat PTSD and transition. I have developed brief 12-24 session relationship programs and intensives for couples to breakthrough the upper limit barriers that block them from experiences the love and intimacy both crave. My couples sessions range from 90-120 minutes and offer several couples weekend intensives for those wanting to go through a deep dive and Reboot Your Relationship. Joe Whitcomb is a US Military Veteran and Rescuer,  Relationship Coach/Trainer/Speaker, an attachment-based, emotionally focused therapist, and developer of the Trauma-Informed Relationship Psychotherapy Method which focuses on trauma (PTSD and Aversive Childhood Experiences ACE's) and the impact on relationships, mind, body, emotions, health in couple relations, families, blending step-families, military, veterans, first responders, and adult survivors of childhood abuse/trauma. What Does it Mean to be Trauma Informed? Noticing and embracing that trauma is the expectation, not the exception – all beings experience trauma, just different levels - it doesn't matter if you were or are drowning at 1 feet, 7 feet or 21 feet, you were drowning. Awareness of how trauma effects the brain, body, spirit, sense of safety and security in the world Asking “What happened to you?” versus “What’s wrong with you?” Minimize re-victimization and facilitate recovery for all clients in the most culturally sensitive  way we can, taking into account culture, race, gender, sexuality, spirituality, and other factors Behaviors are understood not merely as complaints but as attempts to cope and survive This Thing We Do…So Other’s May Live and Love Well and Thrive

Reboot Your Relationship with Joe Whitcomb 310-560-0726 or click here to schedule a FREE 30 Minute Consultation: https://calendly.com/rebootyourrelationship This podcast is best for couples, relationships, PTSD and those who "rage against the dying of the light." My area of expertise consists in helping with difficulties in relationships & social relationships. Such difficulties include finding and sustaining healthy partnerships. Such difficulties include finding and sustaining healthy intimacy, healing from a painful break-up or divorce, recovering from major loss, and growing up in aversive childhood experiences, trauma and difficult circumstances. I am particularly suited to helping those who have cultivated their intellects and creativity but would now like to develop a greater awareness of their emotional world. (Neuroscience of Relationships, Emotionally Focused Therapy, Gottman Method, CBT, DBT and EMDR). Joe's approach is far from being the silent, blank therapist. HIs approach provides the richest and most depth and exploration of how we love, work, and play.  Joe considers myself more of a process consultant and co-journeyman. He is also a 12 year military veteran, first responder and treat PTSD and transition with men and women in the military. Joe has developed brief 12-24 session relationship programs and intensives for couples to breakthrough the upper limit barriers that block most couples from experiences the love and intimacy both crave. My couples sessions range from 90-120 minutes and offer several couples weekend intensives for those wanting to go through a deep dive and Reboot Your Relationship. Joe Whitcomb is a US Military Veteran, Rescuer,  Relationship Coach/Trainer/Speaker, an attachment-based, emotionally focused therapist, and developer of the Trauma-Informed Relationship Psychotherapy Method which focuses on trauma (PTSD and Aversive Childhood Experiences ACE's) and the impact on relationships, mind, body, emotions, health in couple relations, families, blending step-families, military, veterans, first responders, and adult survivors of childhood abuse/trauma. What Does it Mean to be Trauma Informed? Noticing and embracing that trauma is the expectation, not the exception – all beings experience trauma, just different levels - it doesn't matter if you were or are drowning at 1 feet, 7 feet or 21 feet, you were drowning. Awareness of how trauma effects the brain, body, spirit, sense of safety and security in the world Asking “What happened to you?” versus “What’s wrong with you?” Minimize re-victimization and facilitate recovery for all clients in the most culturally sensitive  way we can, taking into account culture, race, gender, sexuality, spirituality, and other factors Behaviors are understood not merely as complaints but as attempts to cope and survive This Thing We Do…So Other’s May Live and Love Well and Thrive

Reboot Your Relationship with Joe Whitcomb 310-560-0726 or click here to schedule a FREE 30 Minute Consultation: https://calendly.com/rebootyourrelationship This podcast is best for couples, relationships, PTSD and those who "rage against the dying of the light." My area of expertise consists in helping with difficulties in relationships & social relationships. Such difficulties include finding and sustaining healthy partnerships. Such difficulties include finding and sustaining healthy intimacy, healing from a painful break-up or divorce, recovering from major loss, and growing up in aversive childhood experiences, trauma and difficult circumstances. I am particularly suited to helping those who have cultivated their intellects and creativity but would now like to develop a greater awareness of their emotional world. (Neuroscience of Relationships, Emotionally Focused Therapy, Gottman Method, CBT, DBT and EMDR). Joe's approach, I'm far from being the silent, blank therapist. I think my approach provides the richest and most depth and exploration of how we love, work, and play. I consider myself more of a process consultant and co-journeyman. I am also a 12 year military veteran and treat PTSD and transition. I have developed brief 12-24 session relationship programs and intensives for couples to breakthrough the upper limit barriers that block them from experiences the love and intimacy both crave. My couples sessions range from 90-120 minutes and offer several couples weekend intensives for those wanting to go through a deep dive and Reboot Your Relationship. Joe Whitcomb is a US Military Veteran and Rescuer,  Relationship Coach/Trainer/Speaker, an attachment-based, emotionally focused therapist, and developer of the Trauma-Informed Relationship Psychotherapy Method which focuses on trauma (PTSD and Aversive Childhood Experiences ACE's) and the impact on relationships, mind, body, emotions, health in couple relations, families, blending step-families, military, veterans, first responders, and adult survivors of childhood abuse/trauma. What Does it Mean to be Trauma Informed? Noticing and embracing that trauma is the expectation, not the exception – all beings experience trauma, just different levels - it doesn't matter if you were or are drowning at 1 feet, 7 feet or 21 feet, you were drowning. Awareness of how trauma effects the brain, body, spirit, sense of safety and security in the world Asking “What happened to you?” versus “What’s wrong with you?” Minimize re-victimization and facilitate recovery for all clients in the most culturally sensitive  way we can, taking into account culture, race, gender, sexuality, spirituality, and other factors Behaviors are understood not merely as complaints but as attempts to cope and survive This Thing We Do…So Other’s May Live and Love Well and Thrive

Reboot Your Relationship with Joe Whitcomb 310-560-0726 or click here to schedule a FREE 30 Minute Consultation: https://calendly.com/rebootyourrelationship Breaking out of the Drama Triangle of Rescuer/Hero, Persecutor/Villain and Victim in relationships. This podcast is best for couples, relationships, PTSD and those who "rage against the dying of the light." My area of expertise consists in helping with difficulties in relationships & social relationships. Such difficulties include finding and sustaining healthy partnerships. Such difficulties include finding and sustaining healthy intimacy, healing from a painful break-up or divorce, school-related problems, recovering from major loss, and growing up in difficult circumstances. I am particularly suited to helping those who have cultivated their intellects and creativity but would now like to develop a greater awareness of their emotional world. (Neuroscience of Relationships, Emotionally Focused Therapy, Gottman Method, CBT, DBT and EMDR). Joe's approach, I'm far from being the silent, blank therapist. I think my approach provides the richest and most depth and exploration of how we love, work, and play. I consider myself more of a process consultant and co-journeyman. I am also a 12 year military veteran and treat PTSD and transition. I have developed brief 12-24 session relationship programs and intensives for couples to breakthrough the upper limit barriers that block them from experiences the love and intimacy both crave. My couples sessions range from 90-120 minutes and offer several couples weekend intensives for those wanting to go through a deep dive and Reboot Your Relationship. Joe Whitcomb is a US Military Veteran and Rescuer,  Relationship Coach/Trainer/Speaker, an attachment-based, emotionally focused therapist, and developer of the Trauma-Informed Relationship Psychotherapy method which focuses on trauma (PTSD and Aversive Childhood Experiences ACE's) and the impact on relationships, mind, body, emotions, health in couple relations, families, blending step-families, military, veterans, first responders, and adult survivors of childhood abuse/trauma.   

Part 2 - Test for Echo - Triggers are Echoes from Your Past

Test for Echo - Triggers are Echoes from our Past

Part 2:  Fight, Flight or Freeze and co-regulation within and between couples

Fear Virus versus Coronavirus - Emotional Contagion

Infidelity and Betrayal of Trust is Trauma (PTSR - Post-Traumatic Stress Reordering) Joe Whitcomb - Reboot Your Relationship 310-560-0726 joe@rebuildingconnection.com 

Part 1 of 2:  How to Heal trauma in relationship through safety, connection and intimacy

Hit the Circuit Breaker on Mutual Injury - Taking Charge of Your Triggers with Time Out

Connecting to One of 6 Our Core Human Needs - Admiration and Significance