Claim OwnershipTwo Dicks in a Bar
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© Jesse Walcutt, Ed, Mike, & Nate
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Two dicks in a bar talking with their friends and random people that join
199 Episodes
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The Dicks are excited to reshape America! Get ready to learn the new voting system… let’s make A-town Amazing Again!
With special guest Jay
What do a celebrity murder case, 100-day sobriety bets, ceramic car coatings, and the ethics of ghosting have in common? Absolutely nothing—and that’s exactly the point. Grab a seat (and maybe a weed soda) as the guys jump from true crime to dating apps, from disc golf fails to 90s music deep cuts, in a conversation that proves the best talks happen when there’s no plan at all. No topic is safe, and no segue is required.
Our mission is simple: use ridiculous, NSFW charity events to raise money for cat rescues. Our podcast is everything else. Co-hosts and brewery reps Dan and Mike are the masterminds behind the "Vibrator Roadshow," a traveling spectacle of battery-powered madness. Each week, they drag the microphone to a different bar to recap the races, plan the next event, and get spectacularly sidetracked with the locals. It's a mix of grassroots activism, South Florida nightlife, and the kind of meandering, hilarious bar talk that only happens after a few rounds. Tune in for the cause, stay for the chaos.
The conversation bounces like a pinball in a dive bar. One minute we're hearing a "totally true" story about partying with Johnny Depp until sunrise, the next we're analyzing the psychological torture of disc golf scoring apps. In between, the Dicks solve the 1970s porn distribution network, argue about the legality of nudity (free the nip!), and try to remember if there was ever a good reason to wear a drug rug in South Florida. It's a chaotic, cozy hang for the holidays.
Our fact-checker bailed, so we're just making things up now. We explore the real first Thanksgiving (it was Lincoln, dibs), why cake is a chemical lie and pie is a fruity fraud, and how to properly hit on your bartender using only a cherry and a hair flip. It's a holiday episode so chaotic, we're surprised the pilgrims didn't just turn the Mayflower around.
Strap in for a wild ride as the conversation bounces from the competitive world of DIY disc golf putting to the dark corners of political hypocrisy. The crew dissects Charlie Kirk quotes, South Park's latest takedowns, and the never-ending Epstein saga. But the real meat of the episode is a passionate, absurd argument about the words "moist" vs. "damp" and their application to... well, everything, especially cake and underwear. It's insightful, idiotic, and everything you didn't know you needed.
The conversation is as all over the place as a drunkard's stroll. This week, the Dicks dive into a family controversy: was a nephew's school suspension for an edgy doodle justified or total bullshit? The debate quickly spirals into a chaos-fueled session featuring experimental nicotine pouches found outside the bar, a plan for a disc golf trip to the Keys, and a heated rundown of everything from Kevin Smith's filmography to the latest Epstein brother revelations. Strap in for a lesson in low-stakes degeneracy.
Our quest to outsource our personalities to machines continues. We unleash an AI-written stand-up routine so brilliant and stupid it might get us cancelled (or at least mildly frowned upon). Then, we debate the only logical next step: volunteering for a sketchy, IV-pumped DMT study to see God, or at least a convincing alien. Strap in for a episode that jumps from shitting on nepo-babies and war criminals to figuring out if you can, in fact, cheat death with a good game of Battleship. The bar is open, and our filters are closed.
The dicks are back in your ears and they're tackling the hard-hitting science behind No Nut November. Is there any truth to the "superpowers" promised by online influencers, or is it all just a sticky situation of misinformation? We dive deep into the myths of masturbation, testosterone, and sperm motility. Plus: Jesse's medical saga continues, a bizarre tequila review gets the Al treatment, and we somehow end up discussing the proper way to start a fire and the geopolitical implications of road construction. Just another normal dinner with the dicks.
From the assault on democratic norms to the assault on your childhood, no topic is safe. This episode meanders from the future of self-driving cars and the ethics of AI to the vital, pressing issue of ruining the "67" meme for any kids who might be listening. Plus, a heartfelt tribute to Diane Keaton, a debate on the best road trip games, and the age-old question: are Lucky Charms magically delicious because of the pus in the milk? Just another normal week at the bar.
Navigating life's uncomfortable truths with a sense of humor is their specialty. In this episode, the guys debate the "tragedy plus time" formula for comedy, grapple with personal health scares and canceled colonoscopies, and try to find the logic in a world of unregulated capitalism and demonic politicians. It's a podcast about finding the laughs, even when the joke might be on us.
The government is shut down and the boys are unsupervised! This week, the Dicks dive into a legendary (and painful) story involving a stripper and a jalapeeno, ponder the logistics of interstellar travel for Kryptonians, and debate the finer points of homelessness, recession fears, and the 13th floor. All this, plus a check-in from a very special guest, Gabby. It's a wild one.
A tenant's text about a wobbly light fixture sparks a chaos-filled session covering the essential rules of being a landlord (always charge for laughs), the grim future of 55+ communities, and the proper use of AI (writing tool or intellectual surrender?). The guys debate whether Joe Rogan has more presidential composure than a man who can't pronounce "acetaminophen," and if arming everyone with flamboyant pistols actually makes anyone safer. It's a hilarious, unfiltered take on the tiny absurdities and massive frustrations of modern life.
The conversation takes a sharp turn from sex toys to censorship when we react to the news of Jimmy Kimmel's show being "paused." We dive headfirst into a heated debate about free speech, corporate cowardice, the weaponization of the FCC, and the terrifying parallels to the Joe McCarthy era. It's a raw, unfiltered, and pissed-off look at the state of American media.
On this episode of Two Dicks in a Bar, we're tackling the big questions. What are UAPs (UFOs) and why is the government really keeping them secret? We analyze the political landscape following a major news event and discuss the violent rhetoric plaguing the nation. Then, we shift gears to explore fascinating theories about advanced ancient civilizations that challenge everything we know about history. All this, plus tangents on disc golf failures, concert experiences, and the wild stories of Edgar Cayce. Tune in for a thought-provoking and hilarious deep dive.
No topics are off the table, hilarious, unscripted, and unhinged. The Dicks tackle the three essential male needs, the horrors of dating in your 50s, and the logistics of using the “lemonade pitcher” to avoid getting out of bed to pee. Grab a beer and belly up to the bar.
Join the Dicks, and their guest Angel, as the conversation spirals from the personal knowledge of a gruesome Florida man murderer to the torture of peeps in a microwave. Get ready to be schooled about country vs. the city living, the political correctness of the word “secretary”, and the superiority of Publix. Get ready for some hot chip horror stories, a flurry of dad jokes and heated debates Concerning UFOs vs UAPs… This episode has everything you’ve come to expect from Two Dicks in a Bar! Buckle up!,
The Dick’s deliver another round of unhinged conversation featuring 80s porn stars, political redistricting, and ethical dog killing. Be ready for raunchy humor, crude humor, and tales of salsa – throwing road rage.
The Dicks go full circle! Take a guess, does the circle concern; micro-perforations in Mike’s colon, butt chugging inebriates, or gluten free breadsticks? We"re happy to have Mike back, and have a weighty conversation on spicy chips. Welcome!
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