Claim OwnershipPartnered with a Survivor: David Mandel and Ruth Reymundo Mandel
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© 2026 Partnered with a Survivor: David Mandel and Ruth Reymundo Mandel
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Partnered with a Survivor is a professional-focused podcast created and produced by Ruth Reymundo and hosted by the Safe & Together Institute. What began as intimate conversations between Ruth and David Mandel—founder of the Institute and creator of the Safe & Together Model—about violence, relationships, abuse, and the systems that respond to them has grown into a global conversation about systems and culture change.
Hosted by Ruth and co-hosted by David, the podcast features in-depth, professionally grounded discussions about how institutions respond to domestic abuse, gender-based violence, and child maltreatment. Many episodes also feature global leaders working across fields such as child safety, men and masculinity, perpetrator accountability, fatherhood, and partnering with survivors.
Together, these conversations examine how systems often fail adult and child survivors, how societal narratives about masculinity and violence shape professional practice, and how intersectional realities—including cultural and religious beliefs, racialised identities, LGBTQ+ experiences, immigration status, disability, and other structural vulnerabilities—shape responses to abuse and violence.
The podcast offers an insider lens into how professionals navigate systems not only as practitioners, but also as parents and partners. Through candid dialogue and critical reflection, Ruth and David challenge the assumptions and structures that limit meaningful accountability, safety, and healing. The goal is collective movement across systems, cultures, and families toward greater safety, nurturance, and sustained change.
Disclaimer: Episodes contain sensitive topics and occasional mature language that may be difficult for some listeners. The views and opinions expressed by podcast guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of the Safe & Together Institute or its staff.
126 Episodes
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Artificial intelligence is already in social work and child protection, and its use is deepening. The question is: How safe, effective, and equitable is it? In this episode, David and Ruth talk with Dr. LaSharia Turner and Dr. Helen Fischle from Alabama A&M University about what ethical, human-centered, AI-driven tech should look like in social work education and frontline practice. As agencies face workforce shortages, austerity, high caseloads, and increasing complexity, technolog...
What if medicine is trained to see bruises and fractures—but misses the injuries that leave no visible mark? In this episode of Partnered with a Survivor, David and Ruth speak with Dr. Norell Rosado, child abuse pediatrician at the University of Wisconsin School of Medicine and Public Health, about the limits of how child maltreatment is identified in medical settings. While bruises and broken bones often drive diagnosis, neglect remains the most common form of maltreatment—and many serious h...
We start with a snow-bright morning and end with a sharper lens. We sit down with advocate and system analyst Valerie Frost to explore how systems built to protect families can become tools of coercive control—and how to change that trajectory with better listening, precise language, and survivor-centered practice. Valerie traces the everyday realities of child welfare, family court, schools, and law enforcement, showing where checklists fail, how jargon shuts doors, and why knowledge inequit...
What happens when David turns the tables on Ruth and interviews her—seven years into their shared body of work? In this special anniversary episode, David marks seven years since Ruth joined the Safe & Together Institute by stepping into the interviewer role. This is a founder-level conversation about vision, values, the hard work of scaling, and how systems actually change when lived experience is treated as critical professional expertise—not an add-on. Ruth traces her journey from work...
We are starting our 7th season and asking the question: "What if love wasn’t the soft side of this work, but the method that makes healing possible?" We chat again with Nneka MacGregor—co-founder and executive director of WomenatthecentrE, survivor, advocate, and visionary—to explore how love, joy, gratitude, and community connection can transform responses to gender-based violence. Instead of centering punishment that rarely repairs harm or teaches nurturing protective behavior, we examine ...
Mist, wind, the volcanic island of São Miguel, and a hard look at the words and jargon that decide families’ futures. We begin in the Azores, Ruth’s ancestral home, where arguments for European westward expansion took shape after Bartolomé de Las Casas reported the finding of two “dead Amerindian" bodies—and where mainland-imposed poverty, illiteracy, and family separation set conditions that still shape domestic violence today. From that grounding, we pull apart a label that quietly dr...
Rain on the windows, a century-old clock in the kitchen, and a plate of bacon by the coffee set: David’s 60th birthday set the scene for a raw, open conversation about vocation, love, and the future of domestic violence–informed systems. We pause to reflect on 40 years of David’s practice and what it means to be truly witnessed. Then we get specific about how to build safer families by changing how professionals see, measure, and respond to harm. We dig into a strengths-first approach that s...
What happens when men are finally invited to speak from the heart? We sit down with Kenneth Braswell, founder of Fathers Incorporated and author of Too Seasoned To Care, to explore fear as a learned behavior, anger as a secondary emotion, and why safety and healing must stand side by side. From Crown Heights to Sheepshead Bay, we trace how Brooklyn’s beauty and danger taught vigilance, how redlining and racial tension shaped daily life, and how those lessons echo through fatherhood, relations...
The house looks perfect from the street—until you step inside and feel the air shift. We sit with survivor, campaigner, and author David Challen to trace the shape of coercive control through a child’s eyes: a mother’s world shrinking, a father’s rules governing every room, and a son trying to earn love by molding himself to a script that never fit. This is not a tidy true-crime arc. It’s the long echo of control on identity, mental health, and the stories boys are told about how to be men. ...
The conversation opens with end-of-the-year reflections and personal milestones—international book releases, masterclasses, collaborations, and community work—and quickly moves to a timely, thorny question: Can we talk honestly about male violence without “shaming” men? We take a stand for courage, honesty, and clarity using global data, real cases, and practical frameworks to show how accountability, truth about behaviors and their impact, and compassion can live side by side. Our goal isn’t...
A stadium’s worth of men—every year. That’s the scale of new intimate partner violence use suggested by Ten To Men, Australia’s landmark longitudinal study of male health. We sit down with Karlee O’Donnell, a researcher with the Australian Institute of Family Studies, to unpack what the data really says about how depression, suicidality, paternal warmth, and social support shape men’s risk—and what actually works to prevent harm. Across a decade of surveys, one in three men self-report...
A woman calls for help after being strangled in her own home. He shows a scratch; she leaves in handcuffs. From that moment, the system that promised safety starts to mirror the control she’s trying to escape. That’s the hard truth we face with researcher and practitioner Lisa Young Larance, whose new book, Broken, gathers the long-view stories of 33 women navigating coercive control, wrongful arrest, child protection, court, and probation. We unpack how the victim-perpetrator binary distort...
A clear map beats chaos when lives are at stake. We sit down with Dr. Kate Fitz-Gibbon to draw a sharper line between “losing control” in life and being coercively controlled by a partner, and we keep children at the center where they belong. Through careful research and straight talk, we unpack why men’s and women’s experiences of intimate partner abuse often look different in impact, fear, and loss of liberty—and how that difference should guide courts, police, and service providers in mapp...
Blame doesn’t make families safer—clarity does. We sit down with Scottish survivors and practitioners from Equally Safe Falkirk to explore how a survivor-centered, perpetrator-focused, child safety–driven approach changes practice, confidence, and outcomes. You’ll hear how validation replaces tick-box culture, how naming protective parenting restores mothers’ confidence, and how raising standards for fathers reframes accountability as a set of concrete parenting choices. Nicolla and Emma wal...
The weaponisation of immigration status has become a powerful tool in the arsenal of domestic abusers. For migrant survivors, the choice between enduring abuse or risking deportation represents an impossible dilemma that traps them in dangerous situations. Meena Kumari, a domestic abuse practitioner with 21 years of experience in the UK, shares how the situation for migrant survivors has deteriorated rather than improved over her career. Where once migrants needed to wait two years before ap...
Religious teachings wield profound influence over family dynamics and human behaviors, sometimes enabling abuse under the guise of spiritual teachings and guidance. This raw and revealing conversation confronts the troubling legacy of religious parenting methodologies that promote violence, rights removal, and coercive control rather than nurturing safe, consensual connection. Ruth shares her personal experience growing up under the influence of James Dobson's parenting teachings, exposing h...
When a perpetrator targets a family pet, they're sending a clear message about what they're capable of—and revealing a dangerous pattern that threatens everyone in the home. This eye-opening conversation with Maya Badham, founder of the Centre for Animal Inclusive Safeguarding, explores the deeply troubling intersection of animal abuse and coercive control. The weaponization of animals extends far beyond physical violence. Perpetrators systematically use pets as tools for economic abuse, sta...
When churches call clergy sexual abuse “moral failings” or “affairs,” they obscure the truth: Predatory pastors groom adult congregants using tactics that mirror coercive control and intimate partner violence. Counselor and researcher Jaime Simpson joins us to dismantle myths about consent in faith settings, drawing from her study Broken, Shattered & Spiritually Battered: Groom Pastors Who Prey on Adult Congregation Members. Focusing on evangelical and Pentecostal communities in Australia...
Surviving trauma isn't evidence of brokenness—it’s proof of extraordinary strength. Yet traditional therapy approaches often miss this crucial reality, focusing instead on deficits and pathology while forcing survivors to relive painful experiences without first creating safety. In this powerful conversation, therapist and trauma survivor Oli Doyle joins David and Ruth to challenge conventional therapeutic wisdom that keeps trauma survivors stuck in cycles of shame and self-blame. Together, ...
What does it take to transform domestic violence practice in an organization? In this illuminating conversation with Safe & Together Institute’s Systems Change Champion Kyra Feetham from the Centre for Women & Co. in Queensland, Australia, we explore the power of language, values alignment, and relationship-building in creating sustainable change. Kyra shares her journey of embedding the Safe & Together Model at the Centre for Women & Co., where a remarkable shift occurred th...
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