Baby Steps

Over the next nine episodes, join our host Marie McCoy-Thompson as she explores what it’s like to pursue parenthood, and what to do when things don’t go as planned. Season 1 of Baby Steps launches on February 13, with new episodes every Thursday after that.

Why do you want to have kids? What kind of life do you want? What are your values? These questions may not have easy answers, but they’re an important part of trimester zero. This is the period before the start of any fertility journey (pregnancy, adoption, gestational carriers, IVF, or egg freezing). Trimester zero covers how to prepare for starting a family—financially, physically, and emotionally. Leslie Schrock, author of Bumpin, shares her experience. CW: miscarriage, pregnancy loss.    Show notes Leslie Schrock is an author and entrepreneur with a health and tech background.   Bumpin is the book Leslie wrote about her pregnancy experience, and the first chapter covers trimester zero in depth.  Shame Proof Parenting is a parenting coach Leslie referenced.

Oocyte cryopreservation, or egg freezing, is a viable option for people with ovaries who want to extend their fertility or begin IVF. While it’s becoming more commonplace, the experience is not as simple as it’s sometimes made out to be: hormonal self-injections, frequent appointments, and going under anesthesia are all part of the process. So what’s really involved, and what can you do to make the procedure as smooth as possible? Sophie shares her tips on today’s episode.

For two partners who both have ovaries, there are a number of different options for having a child. One is RIVF, or reciprocal IVF, a method that allows both partners to participate biologically in a pregnancy. It means that an egg from one partner is fertilized in a lab and then transferred to the other partner who carries the pregnancy to term. Madison and her wife Krystal went through RIVF to have their daughter, and on today’s episode, Madison walks through each step of the experience.

For a long time, Trystan had been led to believe that he could never have biological children. He is transgender, and doctors had told him that when he transitioned, he would not be able to get pregnant. But fast forward a few years, and Trystan and his partner, Biff, have three children—two they adopted, and one biological son. Today, Trystan shares the story of how he built his family and talks about what his pregnancy was like.    Show notes Trystan Reese is the Director of Family Formation at Family Equality, the nation's leading nonprofit dedicated to supporting LGBTQ+ families and those who wish to form them.   Trystan’s blog chronicles his family-forming journey and other aspects of his and Biff’s life together.

This podcast is about the pursuit of parenthood, but pursuing something does not mean a promise of any particular result. When it comes to fertility, there are no guarantees. That’s something Lauren knows all too well. She has PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome), one of the symptoms of which is that ovaries fail to regularly release eggs. Her struggle with infertility has changed her perspective on the world and the way she thinks about motherhood. Today, she’s sharing her story.  Show notes Lauren chronicles her infertility journey on her Instagram @mamas.waiting.season.

Omair and his wife had known that they’d want to adopt a child from the time they were in high school. The adoption of their son, therefore, was essentially 17 years in the making. But how long did the adoption process actually take from start to finish? What was it like when a social worker visited their home to see if they’d be “fit to parent”? And how much did everything cost? Omair answers all of these questions and more as he talks through the story of how he and his wife adopted their son.

Having a child via gestational carrier, a process commonly referred to as surrogacy, can be complex for one pregnancy. But George and his husband were hoping to have two babies at the same time—“twiblings.” Between finding an egg donor, a reputable clinic, two gestational carriers, and managing everything there is to do when preparing for two new additions to a family, George and his husband had a lot on their hands. Here’s how they did it.

Everyone’s fertility journey is different. Dionne’s began when she was diagnosed with breast cancer. Her doctor told her that cancer treatment would drastically impact her fertility, so if she thought she might want biological children in the future, she’d need to undergo oocyte cryopreservation (egg freezing) immediately. In preparing for chemotherapy and the brutal battle with cancer, Dionne also now had to consider her fertility. In this episode, she shares how she managed it all.   Show notes Dionne’s YouTube channel chronicles her fertility preservation journey during cancer treatment.  Dionne’s oocyte cryopreservation process happened in tandem with the first steps of her battle with breast cancer.

If you wondered why we said “gestational carrier” rather than “surrogate” on this podcast, this episode is for you. While this show typically features personal stories from people who have gone through their own fertility journeys, today we have an interview with Carrot’s Riley Steinmetz and Dr. Sheryl Vanderpoel. Carrot has a global perspective on the language of fertility, and why finding the right words to talk about fertility care is so important.    Show notes Carrot’s fertility language guide is a robust resource for learning how to communicate about fertility in an inclusive and accurate way. The International Glossary on Infertility and Fertility Care is an additional resource Dr. Vanderpoel recommends for learning about fertility language. 

Welcome to season 2 of Baby Steps. Where we work has the power to make the pursuit of parenthood smoother, more challenging, or in some cases, possible at all. This season, we talk to HR leaders, fertility advocates, and individuals who have pursued parenthood about the myriad ways the workplace shapes employees' family-forming experiences — and how to create a better environment for everyone.

Every country handles rules and regulations around fertility care a little differently — or, in many cases, very differently. Cultural nuances play a powerful role, too. These differences create a challenge for companies looking to provide fertility benefits that meet the needs of all of their employees.  We talked with Julie Fernandez of Momentive, the creators of SurveyMonkey, about how her company chose fertility benefits for their global employees. We also touched on benefits communications strategies for employees outside the U.S., a personal story from a Momentive employee, and how Momentive uses fertility benefits to win over job candidates globally. Show notes: Find more tips on finding fertility benefits for a global workforce from Carrot’s Global Solutions team. Read more about Momentive’s experience with Carrot in our case study.

If an employee approached you about how their fertility journey might impact their work schedule, how would you respond? Even for those with years of experience in HR, it can be challenging to know exactly what to say about something so personal. In this episode of Baby Steps, we talk with a clinical psychologist and a fertility at work coach about how compassion, curiosity, and flexibility can make these conversations as supportive as possible. Show notes: If you're interested in developing a better understanding of what employees might be going through when pursuing parenthood, download Fertility in the Workplace: A guide to being a supportive manager. Learn more about the impact infertility can have on mental health.

If you’ve had a conversation about fertility or fertility benefits in the past, chances are it was primarily focused on female infertility or IVF. And while that is a critical piece of the puzzle, it’s just one piece. In this episode, Rahab Hammad, Senior Benefits Manager at Snap, talks about how her understanding of fertility benefits changed during her research process — and how much more support her company could offer than she first realized. You’ll also hear from a couple who went on two gestational carrier (GC) journeys, which were so complicated that they ultimately created their own agency to support others pursuing it.  Resources: Employer guide to LGBTQ+-inclusive fertility benefits 5 signs a fertility benefit isn’t actually inclusive  My Surrogacy Journey

There’s a story behind every resignation. In this episode of our podcast, we talk to someone who left her job, not because of her boss or her workload, but because her benefits didn’t support her goal of becoming a single-intending parent — even after she advocated for coverage. Show notes: Carrot's 2021 Fertility at Work survey Aden's Plan A podcast

While infertility and fertility care are common, not everyone has direct experience with them. This can make it harder for decision makers to understand why something like fertility benefits can be so impactful. That’s one reason this week’s guests founded Fertility Matters at Work: to educate employers on the emotional, physical, and logistical realities of fertility journeys — and what support employees need. On Baby Steps, co-founders Becky and Natalie share their personal experiences balancing work and fertility treatments and discuss the work they do to raise awareness of these journeys in the workplace.  Learn more: Fertility Matters at Work  How to create a supportive environment for aspiring parents

Lawyers who specialize in donor-assisted reproduction and adoption dread getting one call in particular from intended parents: Their baby is due in a few days and they’re ready to finish up their paperwork. The problem? They should have gotten in touch with a lawyer at the beginning of the process. In this episode, we talk with two experts on the legal side of donor-assisted reproduction and adoption. We discuss why a call to a lawyer should come much earlier in these family-forming journeys — and how HR leaders can ensure their employees have the resources they need.  Show notes: Why legal resources are a crucial part of fertility benefits PairTree: Connecting adoptive parents with birth moms  International Fertility Law Group Little Fires Everywhere, by Celeste Ng

If you’re an HR leader, maybe you’re already sold on the value of fertility benefits. But what about the rest of the stakeholders at your company? In this episode, we talk with Leah Sutton, SVP, Global HR at Elastic, about how she makes the case for fertility benefits to her leadership team, including the financial side. We also talk with a fertility physician about the impact culturally competent care can have on outcomes, especially for members of the BIPOC community.    Show notes:  How to talk to your CFO about fertility benefits How fertility benefits can actually lower healthcare costs

Getting a cancer diagnosis is one of the scariest experiences someone can go through. When our guests Amanda and Tracy were diagnosed with cancer in their early 30s, they were told their recommended treatments would lead to infertility. Then they learned that neither of their insurance plans would cover fertility preservation. This week on Baby Steps, hear their stories and how their nonprofit The Chick Mission advocates for fertility coverage and provides grants to cover fertility preservation after a cancer diagnosis.   Show notes:  The Chick Mission How to plan for the future with fertility preservation

Fertility care can be expensive, but fertility benefits can actually help employers lower healthcare costs. We discuss that seeming paradox with Mary Lasky, Director of Benefits at Accolade, which provides care delivery, navigation, and advocacy services. Later in the episode, we talk with a fertility doctor about the difference between common fertility treatments and how fertility care has evolved to improve outcomes and ultimately reduce costs, too. More resources: How fertility benefits actually help lower costs