a Grand Reflection

Included (in order of being spoiled): Barbie (movie)Oppenheimer (movie)2001: A Space Odyssey (movie)Doctor Strangelove (movie)XX - Rian Hughes (book)Loki (show)Loki (comics)Suprised by Hope - NT  Wright (book)-breathe in and out - okay, ready. I'm Mira. Welcome to a grand reflectionIntro: Quick disclaimer, : This episode set is going over many recent and not-so-recent movies and TV shows. I don't want to spoil anything for you.But let's take a second to sit with what it means to spoil something. When we say something's spoiled, we mean it's gone bad. I think fears of a piece of media being spoiled are warranted if it's got a one-and done twist, or part of a longstanding series. The entertainment equivalent of milk gone too long in the fridge. Sour and unenjoyable. But there's a whole different set of things that need to be spoiled in order to fully enjoy. That's the beauty of fermentation. In fact, I think this sort of spoiling is what gives us come of the best things to consume. Cheese, wine, Kimchi, yoghurt, pickles, Mead... the list goes on. An intentional spoiling can enhance the end experience and maybe even get us a little altered in a good way. So, Included in these next few podcasts are: The Barbie movie, Oppenheimer, the works of Stanley Kubrick, The Creator, The Matrix franchise, Into and Across the Spiderverse, Asteroid City, and the Loki TV show. Probably more. (Quick List at top of show notes)With that said: I urge you to step into this whole things unafraid of contamination, and instead revel in the fact that you're about to partake in a well-aged treat. There's too much cross-contamination and jumping around to hope to keep this thing quote-unquote "pure".  There's no getting through this one without getting a little messy. Okay, still in? cool. Purity be damned, spoilers ahead, lets dive in!-breathe in and out - Okay, ready. I'm Mira. Welcome to a grand reflection. ["Let's do things differently this time. Like, so differenty" - Across the Spiderverse] OH! Yeah, okay. good idea spider-gwen.  Intro music?[MUUUUSSSSSIIIICCCCC!!!!} Okay, ready. I'm Mira. Welcome to a grand reflection.But real talk: what else could be different? Well, for one, I think I was too married to the idea that this all needs to be natural and unscripted. There's a phrase from the movie Asteroid City: [You can't wake up if you don't fall asleep" -Asteroid City]It's a messy phrase to untangle, and I think it can be taken multiple ways (and, we will definitely get into some of those ways later on), but one way I take it is that sometimes the need for the real and unscripted is actually less effective than allowing it to unfold a little more like a story. So, We're trying the story route. And, I'm going to use some movies this season to really help me to step into it. ["this is a bad idea' - Loki s1e1 ]It all feels pretty meta, right? Using a season about stories to let the story of this podcast better unfold? Oh, but we'll get to the meta stuff later. For now, just know that this is all scripted. ['None of this is real?" "What is real? How do you define real?" -the Matrix] It's real in the sense that it's coming from me still. I'm reading off of something I wrote ahead of time. And, that's actually a wonderful thing for many reasons that I can't quite get into yet. Consider that another foreshadow.But for now, let me bring you up to speed on some changes I've been going through. Last we talked was spring, and that was the trans Easter episode. ['If I am to deny my transness..." - Transfroming Easter episode]I don't know about you, but for me, that episode was revelatory. Like, the kind of thing that bring revolutions. oh! but, shoot.  That's yet another thing for later. Let me loop back another time, and tell you where I've been all summer.Catch up:So, in that Easter episode, I outed myself. Emerged from the grave so to speak (or at least the closet). And, as fearful as I was about having it all out in the open, it had tremendous benefits. First, it gave me some peace of mind, and melded together two parts of myself that felt in opposition. ["A beautiful merging of form and function" - Loki, s2e5] Figuring out a way to have my faith and my internal identity not only co-exist, but actually inform and enrich each other has been incredibly useful on the never-ending journey to wholeness. Another benefit was that I got a few surprises as far as support goes. People I didn't know were listening in, but messaged me afterward with very kind and affirming words. One of the most important surprises regarding that was my mom. She had been behind on episodes, and I assumed she would listen to them chronologically. I told her it was important in order to see where my thoughts have been going, and that catching up would also mean understanding me better. I expected to ease her into it as she listened along.But she terrified me with a message saying she skipped ahead listened to my most recent episode a couple of days after I released it.  I should have made a spoiler alert for her, am I right? Anyway, she sent me a long message saying how much she loved me and expressed how bad she felt that she just didn't know. She expressed the need to come up to see me in person and hear about this part of myself that she's eager to meet more of. I think subconsciously I was both postponing this conversation and waiting for it to happen.  I was afraid of losing that beautiful lifeline of family because I've relied on that connection a lot in the past for well-being. And, my mom's side of the family is all really close. If I didn't have her support, I would likely lose the support of most of whom I call family as well. So it was all a huge subconscious burden lifted. But, she visited and saw how happy I've been, and has been affirming ever since. I actually had scheduled an appointment with my doctor a couple of months before doing the Easter episode. However, because of how overloaded my doctor's schedule tends to be (just like all of healthcare in America), the appointment had to be scheduled months in advance. Initially, I had scheduled it as an exploratory appointment. Basically, I just wanted to hear what sort of possibilities were out there for me, and hadn't decided at the time if I even wanted to do any sort of transition.  But something about knowing I had the support of loved ones sealed the deal for me when it came to deciding to take hormones. By the time I got to the appointment, which was just after I released the episode, I had already made up my mind and told my doctor that I was interested. It turned out pretty straightforward. Oregon is really supportive when it comes to gender care, and I'm extremely grateful for that. All I had to do after telling my doctor was do a quick blood test to make sure nothing weird was going on behind the scenes, as well as to create a baseline for where my hormones were so we could know if the dosing was good. Once that cleared, I was written a prescription and was good to go pick up the estrogen from my local pharmacy.I know that seems intense. reckless even. And without much hesitancy on the doctor's end. But I just want to take a moment to reflect on how these hormones actually react in the body. The changes take years, just like any puberty. It's more about giving the body new instructions as it rebuilds itself than it is drastically mutating the body. It takes months before there are any so called "Irreversable damages", which is a phrase often used by those opposed to the process. But those supposed mutilations of the body are no different than changes that happen during a natural puberty. And, those teenage changes happen whether someone wants them to or not.I really don't think the changes are irreversible though, whether it's a first or second puberty. But, it is a big pain to deal with and adjust for. I'll give them that. but it means there's no neutral ground here. But regret rates are insanely low compared to other things we let kids do with their bodies like join the military or bring a pregnancy to term. I would give anything to have had the chance to go on hormones as a teen, and it does feel like I'm now in the process of undoing a lot of those changes brought on by testosterone so long ago. My point is that the chance of risk was low and the chance of benefit was high. Starting a dose of hormones is as simple as taking a pill once a day for a while and seeing how it makes you feel. the changes don't come quick and there's lots of room to opt out the moment it feels weird. ['Or you take the red pill, and see ho deep this rabbit hole goes.']I took my first dose at my favorite tree in the whole world, which is located at the Japanese Zen Gardens in Portland. I needed it to feel sacred and holy somehow. you know what, that should totally be a bonus story episode. So, look out for that. anyway, it's been about 6 months now, with about 5 months on my current dose. (they usually start you really low just to make sure nothing weird happens).So, yeah. It's been an interesting summer. The changes are slow and steady, but I'm looking very "in between' these days. And it shows no signs of stopping. But even if it did stop and I suddenly plateaued, that would be fine too. I'm still in a better place than I was. It's been absolutely wonderful, but also a lot to process.  As far as my internal world goes, it's pretty straightforward. I feel better on estrogen. It's hard to explain because it's such a subjective and personal thing, but it's like I'm finally running on the right fuel. My senses feel softer and more acute, and my relationship to my emotions feels more attentive and balanced. My muscles have changed, and it feels more natural to move through the world.Before, it was like if someone close to you died, and you inherited their house. so like, you live in it, right? But out of a misplaced sense of honor for the dead, you don't move anything around or remodel. you keep it as pristine as possi

[And now we enter the realm of the uncanny. This is both me, and not at all me. Definitively my voice, but stripped of all it's animate power. A doppelganger for your ears. An imposter gone the way of ones and zeros instead of real lived experience. Strangely, because I'm giving a prompt from my own words, some of me is retained here in this audio. It's both me and not me. There's hints of the real me behind the fake me. Which makes this all very complicated, right? What a strange new world we're about to enter into. But then again... this sort of filtering isn't new. After all, don't we go through constant filtering already because of technology? a screening process, if you will. Our screens make us all see one another as if through a dim mirror. Copies of copies of copies shared memetically and degraded like a recording of a recording. Our online profiles are both us, and entirely not us. Real and alive, but also constructed and lifeless. A paradox that makes it hard to find reality among the masks. Among the blinders. Among the screens. So, how do we create opportunities for life to seep through despite the challenges? I think it starts with what these giant algorithmic computing machines don't have, and can't have in their bodyless state. Emotions, senses, poetry. We must reconnect ourselves to the romantic and the resonant. We are not machines.] We are not machines. So it's time we stopped playing at being them. It's time we wake up to ourselves beyond our achievements and our objectification of the world, and truly explore what it is to live a life of meaning. Because these programs can crunch numbers all they want, but they don't grasp significance. They don't have subjective experiences or a want to connect to other beings and change their personal sense of self through the interactions of others. Yes, A.I. is becoming more human. And one day it may actually come alive. But let's not convince ourselves that time is now. This isn't life, and us continually confusing it with a real living thing just shows how much is at stake for us. True, the A.I. might become more like us. And that does pose an existential risk. But even so, we are much more at risk of ourselves becoming just like the A.I. Artificial and lifeless. Monotone and binary. And the only antidote is to breathe... and settle into our bodies. Remove the screens, the filters, the blinders that prevent us from seeing the real physical world in all its beautiful subjectivity. To be human isn't to have all the answers or to fit all the frameworks. To achieve or to find certainty. It's simply to experience. Which is hopeful news, because it means that the antidote to these scary times is something that we can take part in no matter our circumstance. Every moment is a choice to either dive deeper into the vulnerability and uncertainty of being human, or to give up that humanness for the sake of the safety of abstraction within a dead sea of sameness. So just... breathe. And know that you are you. And know, deeply know, that you're alive.

We take a good look at the intersections of the crucifixion narrative and the trans experience. (don’t let that stop you! it’s messy but encouraging)

Just a look back at the last year before moving forward, as well as some notes on the inherit difficulties of trying to eff the ineffable.

A bonus session of storytelling to cap off season two :)

Reflecting on the past nine months of episodes, and attempting to find some semblance of closure without ending the infinite game.

Finishing up my personal story, and talking about covid implications. Bonus appearance by my dead grandmother!

Continuing the contamination of my story and really getting into deconstructing faith, finding new tribes, and finding new gender identities.

A necessary diversion that's not actually off track.

We're gonna round up all that we've gone over already, and see what happens when I use it to recontextualize my history.

Getting deep into the last tail ends of information and exploration. Contianed within are weird Christmas traditions, drugs, mushrooms, modes of contamination, spirits. and modern states of thanksgiving.

A continuation of the exploration of the intersections of cycles and seasons, old gods, witches, drugs, and now the pitfalls of capitalism! (part 3 coming soon)

Part 1A look at a lot of the weird overlaps of Halloween and Thanksgiving.

What is creativity? Who has it? How do we harness it? Why should we create in the first place? Hopefully, I'll be able to answer all this and more by the end of this thing. Listen and find out.Sources:The Act of Creation - Arthur KoestlerBig Magic - Elizabeth GilbertThe Artisan Soul - Erwin McManusArt & Fear - David Bayles, Ted OrlandArcs and Circles - Marc Peter Keane (out 11/16/21)Culture Care - Makoto FujimuraAdditional explorations:Megan Marie Meyer's Art: https://www.meganmariemyers.com/ Elizabeth Gilbert Ted Talk: https://www.ted.com/talks/elizabeth_gilbert_your_elusive_creative_genius The Master and His Emissary - Iain McGilchristThe Art of Loving - Erich FrommLiam Kyle Cahill's Music: https://liamkylecahill.com/Sweet Maria's Home Coffee Roasting: www.sweetmarias.comAny questions, or any want to collaborate and suggest topics? Email me: Aaron@aGrandReflection.com Cover Art: Jane Muir

This is an idea starter conversation with my good friend Liam. An early bright star to begin lighting up the creativity constellation A lot of good conversation is had here on creativity that should get the juices flowing for all of us so that we’re ready for the full constellation episode on the same topic (coming very soon!)

What’s going on with Gamestop Stock? (little rough, but i’ll polish it a bit and re-upload soon.)

Continuing off from the truth episode, We're diving deep into what it means to love as an enchanted self.SOURCES(These are all links to bookshop, and online bookstore who sends the profits to local booksellers. You can change it to any local bookstore you like. )The Art of Loving - Erich Frommfor more on love as an action rather than a feelingThe Master and His Emissary: The Divided Brain and the Making of the Western World - Iain McGhilchristfor a review of the left and right brainHow [Not] To Be Secular - James KA Smithfor more about how we've become disenchantedFinite and Infinite Games - James P Carsefor more on viewing life as playValarie Kaur - See No Strangerfor more on how loving at all has to include loving everyone.Love does - Bob Gofffor more on the whimsical action of loveEverybody Always - Bob Gofffor when the whimsical action gets hardBorn for love - Bruce D Perry, Maia Szalavitzfor a good argument for empathyThe Mastery of Lovefor a mystics view on loveDaring Greatly - Brene Brownfor the art of being vulnerableEverything is Spiritual - Rob Bellfor some encouraging unbuffered whimsyThe Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love - Bell Hooksfor a look at how patriarchal values create barriers to loveBecoming Wise - Krista Tippettfor a look at interbeing and communityCapitalism and Desirefor a look at how our money system creates dissatisfactionThe More Beautiful World Our Hearts Know is Possible - Charles Eisensteinfor a look at how connection and love can work practically to change the world

Join in as I try to get to the bottom of why we like superheroes so damn much, and if there’s anything worthy in all these movies and shows about them. I get into the difference between soul and spirit, myth making, gender, and all sorts of other interesting things.

(0:00) IntroHello, welcome to a Grand Reflection. A podcast where we attempt to dive deep into new ideas in order to understand more about the world and more about ourselves. Today’s episode in on truth. I know, this is such a huge topic to go over, and I doubt we'll reach the end of it in just one episode. But I do hope that this will at least create a starting point that we can go off of later. That being said, It's still going to be a lot to go over, so I've created timestamps in the notes that you can click on to jump to different parts of the podcast if you need to. As well as that, at the bottom of the show notes I'll add any outside sources that I've mentioned, as well as some additional resources you can explore if you'd like to.(1:34) Finding Truth, and Not Still Not Finding ItSo, let's get started.Ok. Truth.What is truth and how do we find it? Well, we start by suggesting an answer to a question, or by making a statement that we think is correct. Then we continue on by gathering information and taking a look at the data. And finally, we try to be as objective as possible, and use reason in order to come to a conclusion about that data. And, maybe if we're being super diligent about it, we might even get some peer review to confirm our findings. This is the core of the scientific method. Hypothesis, Data collection, Conclusion. Very cut and dry. And, it's not just limited to science. We use this for philosophy too. Form a hypothesis, test it with reason, and form a conclusion, and then you have a new theory. But it even applies to religion. Form a theological question, search the sacred text (or commentary of other scholars), and then form a theological conclusion based on reason.So it seems that no matter what realm we're seeking truth in, we go through the same process. And it's a pretty cut and dry process, that looks to be extremely straightforward. So then, why is truth so hard to find? Why won't people seem to want to listen to reason? And why, in an age of readily available information do we have a harder time than ever discovering the truth? We obviously need a new way forward. And if this method alone was enough, then I don't think we'd still be arguing so much about everything after all this time. But how can we do it differently? What other way is there?(4:15) Some Quick Learning About LearningThat’s a hard question to answer, but I think I've discovered some really interesting things that might help us understand it all a little bit better. Now, there's going to be a lot here to wrap our heads around, and I totally get that this might start to feel like a firehose. So, before we get started, let's look quickly at some key concepts from a book about learning. I hope that it'll ease the burden a bit by giving us a little bit different of a way of gaining knowledge that we can work off of.The book is called Make It Stick by Peter C. Brown. In the book, he talks about how the human brain actually has a very low capacity for memorization. That we can get things to stay in the brain for a short while, such as long enough to take a test, but that "cramming" method of study that we're used to doesn't actually show great long term results. This is why even though we studied super hard to remember all those dates and names in history class, all but a select few of them are completely lost to us now that we're out of school.Brown argues instead that practice should be spaced out, interleaved with other learning, and varied in order to produce better mastery, longer retention, and more versatility. People who learn to extract the key ideas from new material and organize them into a mental model and connect that model to prior knowledge show an advantage in learning complex mastery. So, in light of that, I'm going to start us out by introducing some concepts and models first, and then after that we can circle back and reintroduce them together and connect them to each other, and hopefully, through it all get a bigger picture regarding the nature of truth. During this process, you might see some connections between the concepts right away. And that's good. In fact, I urge you to guess as we go along how I'm going to connect them all at the end of it. Because another part of Brown's theory of learning is that it's helpful to guess answers. Brown says that "Trying to solve a problem before being taught the solution leads to better learning, even when errors are made in the attempt."So, with that in mind, let's get started.Concepts overviewHere's a quick look that the concepts want to go over. And, again, I'll have them tagged in the notes so that you can jump to whichever one you like whenever you like.Okay, so, here they are:We're going to go over The Case Against Reality - Where things aren't as concrete as they seem.Then there's The Default Mode Network and the task-positive network - Where survival and creativity get at odds with each other.After that is The Left Brain vs The Right Brain - Where we see that it's a little more nuanced than we were were taught growing up, but that there are differences.And then we'll go to Integral Theory - Where we see how individual and societal consciousness progresses through timeAnd after that, we're going to take a look at The Secular World vs The Enchanted World - Where we see how we lost a sense of wonder out of a need to feel safeAnd then finally, we're going to talk briefly about The Wisdom Ladder - Where we see how wisdom is gained, and what steps are needed.(7:33) The Case Against RealityThe Case Against Reality is a book by Donald Hoffman where he puts forth the Interface Theory of perception. He argues that our senses don't actually give us an accurate view of reality, but that they instead work like an advanced computer interface that gives us useful information. And just like if your computer started showing a ton of zeros and ones on the screen you'd be overwhelmed and unable to make sense of the data, he argues that we would have the same problem if we had an unfiltered view of reality. That our senses are more like icons on a desktop than they are pictures of a microchip. and he goes into great detail with this talking about how our senses deceive us, and how even our sense of time or sense of cause and effect are mere icons rather than aspects of reality. He says that it's quicker to click on a shortcut than it is to manually build a program every time you want one. And, speed is needed when it comes to survival. And we evolved to survive. And so, we evolved a fast, but inaccurate view of the world around us. Useful, but not based on truth. What this means is, all of our measurements and observations are a rough shorthand rather than accurate indicators of what's out there.Okay, Shifting gears.(10:34) The Default Mode Network vs The Flow State.The Default Mode Networks is what your brain does when it's doing nothing. Because, as it turns out, your brain is never actually doing nothing. This is the network that's firing up when you're not in the present moment and just sort of mulling over things. As best as we can tell, this is also the activation pattern of the brain that gives us a sense of self. And it gives us a sense of self in two ways: The self in relation to others, and self in relation to time. And this is why when your mind is wandering that it's so easy to get stuck either in the past or future, or stuck on interactions with others. And it has a very specific reason for doing this. Our default is survival, and so our background processes are working to see if there's any threat around. And, it's good to have a strong sense of self in the process so that you have a good sense of what needs to be protected. This network is implicated in a variety of disorders including anxiety and depression. And it's shut down very clearly when we do something like meditate. Which is probably where that sense of peace and oneness comes from. We're shutting off the network of self-obsession and the network of overactive stress response. Conversely, it gets overstimulated when wheres excess of information but not a set goal or task. Such as watching TV or scrolling social media.And there's something else that shows up exactly when the Default Mode Network isn't active. It's called the Task Positive Network. You might be more familiar with the more casual term for it, which is the "Flow" state. A flow state occurs when we have a task in front of us and are completely in the moment. It's what gets activated when we are totally focused and in the zone, and the sense of time and the sense of self fall away. In this state, creativity is maximized, and new solutions are found. It's not so interested in surviving, but more so in thriving. Creating an excess from a sense of safety and abundance. And it looks like these two networks are at odds with each other. When one increases the other always decreases. You're either in Default Mode, or Task Positive Mode.(15:33) The Left Brain vs The Right BrainOk. Since we're on the topic of brains, I want to take a look at the difference between the left brain and the right brain. I'm sure you're familiar with the classic model of this. The left brain is logic and mathematics, and the right brain is creativity and imagination. This is a pretty well-worn theory, but it deserves a more nuanced update. In the book The Master and His Emissary, Iain McGhilcrist gives a very well researched and nuanced view of the hemispheres. In it, he states that it's not so much split by what tasks, as both hemispheres are involved in most things. It's more about their approach to those tasks. There's structured,narrow, laser like focus on the left. And then there's the broad, fuzzy, bigger picture kind of thinking on the right. Solidifying the established happens on the left, the new and novel takes place on the right. The left takes a bottom-up approach, starting with the detailed. But the right takes a top-down approach, starting with the vagu