Claim OwnershipStop Drinking and Start Living
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Do you feel like you’re outgrowing alcohol—longing for a deeper connection to life, but stuck in the tug-of-war between numbing, overwhelm, and self-doubt?
Welcome to Stop Drinking and Start Living—a podcast dedicated to helping women create a life they love, beyond alcohol.
I’m Mary Wagstaff. After a 20-year relationship with daily drinking, I finally flipped the switch that made alcohol completely irrelevant in my life. Now, as an expert holistic alcohol coach, I guide women to do the same through my proven 5 Shifts process.
Each week, I share tools, stories, and fresh perspectives to help you expand your desires and reclaim the pleasure, purpose, and power of being a woman.
Sobriety isn’t the end—it’s the beginning of your awakening.
Want to drink less without deprivation? 60 Seconds To Calm Is How you do it. Grab the free guid here. https://marywagstaffcoach.com/urgetracking
⚠️ Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational and inspirational purposes only. It is not a substitute for medical treatment, therapy, or professional healthcare advice. I am not a doctor. If you are at risk of harming yourself or your health, please call your doctor, 911, or a local emergency line right away. In the U.S., you can also dial or text 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.
Background Music Savannah Sultana Graciously Provided by The Exceptional Talent of Scott Nice : https://www.scottnice.com
326 Episodes
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What happens when your sobriety collides with a loved one’s addiction? In this episode, I talk with addiction specialist Amber Hollingsworth about how to support someone struggling without enabling, the truth about boundaries, and how to protect your own wellbeing in the process. What happens when I’m navigating my own sobriety while someone I love is still caught in addiction’s grip? In this episode, I sit down with addiction specialist Amber Hollingsworth, founder of Put the Shovel Down, to...
Calm isn’t just a mood—it’s the baseline your body must return to if you want to break free from the cycle of drinking. When you’re stuck in overwhelm—overthinking, overworking, and over-giving—your nervous system never resets. That constant stress is exactly what makes pouring a glass of wine at the end of the day feel so tempting. Here’s the truth most sobriety methods miss: alcohol was never the problem. It was just your body’s quick fix for a frazzled nervous system. The deeper issue is s...
Ever wonder why quitting alcohol feels like a full-on identity shift? It’s because sobriety isn’t just about abstaining—it’s about reclaiming the parts of you that got buried under performance, people-pleasing, and perfectionism. In this episode, we explore why alcohol is often just a placeholder for authenticity, and how perimenopause marks a powerful rite of passage—not a crisis, but a coronation. You’ll walk away with: A deeper understanding of why your nervous system craves authenticity o...
What if nothing’s actually “wrong”—you’re just seeing it from an outdated perspective? In this episode, you'll learn how to interrupt spirals of stress, resentment, or drinking urges without needing to fix anyone else or wait for the perfect conditions. We’ll explore: The mindset shift that instantly diffuses urges to numbWhy “it’s just a thought” can be the most liberating realizationHow to take radical responsibility without bypassing your emotionsThe Sacred Pause process that rewires your ...
Freedom from alcohol isn't found in white-knuckling or temporary breaks — it emerges when you stay engaged with the process of transformation. In this episode, I share a powerful moment from a recent family reunion where, for the first time, everyone had shifted their relationship with alcohol. What came from that wasn't awkwardness — it was deeper connection, true presence, and genuine joy without needing a single drop. This is what happens when we stop performing and start participating in ...
Ever wonder why “just have one” never actually works? In this no-fluff episode, we unpack the deeper truth behind that tiny phrase—and why your body already knows alcohol doesn’t feel good anymore. If you're tired of the start-stop cycle and craving a way of living that actually supports your goals, your energy, and your feminine power… this one’s for you. Sobriety isn't just about saying no to alcohol—it’s about saying yes to yourself. To living fully expressed, in your truth, and from a pla...
Ever wonder who you’d be without the wine? In this personal and powerful episode, I reflect on how creating a sacred space for women—where we gather weekly over iced tea and flowers—revealed the essence of my own transformation. What started as a dream of women’s retreats manifested in a flower farm. And what I thought would be found through achievement, I discovered through simplicity, presence, and letting go of alcohol. Midlife sobriety is more than just quitting drinking—it's a rite of pa...
Have you ever caught yourself pouring a glass of wine just because you were “bored”? Let’s talk about what’s really going on underneath that go-to excuse — and why it matters so much to your feminine wellbeing. In this episode, we get real about how our culture conditions women to fear stillness and how alcohol has become a sneaky permission slip to rest. But what if you could grant yourself that permission — no wine required? ✨ This one’s for the woman who’s ready to reclaim her energy, her ...
Women are wired to handle a lot. It’s our superpower—but it can also be our kryptonite. The mental load we carry—anticipating needs, managing tasks, and caring for everyone around us—can easily become overwhelming, especially during perimenopause and beyond. Takeaways: The mental load is both a gift and a curse for high-achieving womenOverwhelm often peaks during perimenopause, turning our superpower into burnoutSetting clear boundaries and dividing tasks creates clarity and peaceLetting go o...
Are you wondering why alcohol doesn't work for you the way it used to? Your body might be signaling a profound transformation – perimenopause. As a holistic alcohol coach working with women for over five years, I’ve discovered that this transitional phase requires a sacred pause from alcohol to truly understand what’s happening within. Perimenopause literally means "the time before the pausing of the month/moon" – it’s a threshold experience inviting you into an unbothered, unapologetic era o...
✨ Are you avoiding life just to avoid alcohol? In this episode, I share why that strategy will never work—and how to start optimizing the energy you’re already spending so your efforts don’t go to waste. We talk about how to: Stop avoiding people and places just because alcohol might be presentUse discernment to practice your sacred yes and noShift from controlling circumstances to mastering your mindsetBuild belief brick by brick until alcohol becomes irrelevant🔗 And if you’re ready to creat...
Hey beautiful listener 💋 This week’s challenge? Throw a better party. Not for your friends—for your life. We’re not talking balloons and cake (unless you want that)—we’re talking energy. Mood. Vibe. Frequency. Whether you’re waking up hungover or just heavy with life, this episode is a big warm hug and a nudge to try one thingthat shifts you back into alignment with the woman you want to be. Take yourself on a coffee walk. Smile at strangers. Put on some music and dance in your kitchen. Serio...
You don’t have to quit drinking to start changing your relationship with alcohol. In this episode, I share why the process might already be working in your favor—even if it doesn’t look like it yet. I talk about what’s been helping me lately: from gut health and hormone shifts to the supplement that’s actually making a difference. Plus, the one mindset shift that changes everything: asking yourself what you’re really reaching for before the drink. Takeaways: Why mindset is only half the story...
Your craving for alcohol isn’t about the drink — it’s about what you think the drink will give you. Connection. Joy. Freedom. Over time, your brain has fused alcohol with emotional relief, narrowing your perspective. You believe drinking is the only way to get what you want — but it's actually blocking you from it. The key is knowing the difference between desire and attachment. Desire is the emotional state you long for. Attachment is insisting alcohol is the only way to get there. That grip...
If you’ve ever thought, “Is this as good as it gets?” or “I don’t want to keep doing this,” this episode is for you. I invite you to consider a radical new idea: What if your rock bottom doesn’t have to be dramatic, destructive, or public? What if it’s just a quiet whisper—telling you that you’re meant for more? This episode explores the hidden beliefs and subconscious fears that keep us stuck in drinking patterns, even when our lives look “fine” from the outside. We unpack why alcohol feels ...
One of the most surprising and empowering truths in the alcohol-free journey: The best time to change your relationship with alcohol is when you’re already feeling good. If that sounds counterintuitive, you’re not alone. Most of us only commit to change when we’ve hit a low—after a fight, a blackout, a painful moment of regret. But what if that’s why it hasn’t stuck? Inside this episode: Why feeling good can be the most powerful time to quit drinkingHow your brain tricks you into thinking it’...
I’m sharing about what it actually takes to make a lasting shift in your relationship with alcohol—and why “feeling good” can often be the very thing that triggers a return to old habits. We explore: Why you break your promises to yourself (and how to rebuild trust)What really needs to change to create a new self-conceptHow intention, not willpower, changes everythingWhat clients say made this time different—and how it can be different for you tooThe truth about emotional alignment and identi...
It’s been six years since I took my last sip of alcohol—and not only do I not miss it, I truly don’t want it. In this soul-deep episode, I’m reflecting on what made lasting change possible for me (spoiler: it wasn’t willpower) and sharing the feminine path that helped me create a life so rich and connected, alcohol couldn’t compete. Whether you’re just starting or somewhere in the middle, I want to show you how to stop drinking in a way that actually feels nourishing, powerful, and aligned wi...
There is no greater honor than reconnecting with a client years after we’ve worked together and seeing her thriving—more empowered, more present, and more alive than ever before. In this episode, I sit down with Bonnie, a mother of four, a generational cycle-breaker, and a woman who has redefined what’s possible when you choose yourself. Two years after going through my holistic alcohol coaching container, she’s not only still sober—she’s living her truth out loud. When Bonnie found me, she w...
Let’s talk about something so many high-achieving women struggle with: relaxation resistance. That underlying belief that if you relax, everything will fall apart. That if you slow down, you're lazy. That your worth is tied to your productivity. This week, we’re unraveling the deep-seated patterns that keep you stuck in fight-or-flight mode, constantly "doing" instead of simply "being." Because the truth is: 💡 You don’t fall apart when things get hard. You rise. 💡 The real challenge is learni...
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