A Yogi's Dark Night

Hello! Wow, that took me a long while to return to this platform! The thing is I have been recording but they haven't made their appearance... yet! I have plans to upload past recordings soon, but in the meantime, let's talk about the now: - back in Malaysia, explaining the pros and cons of being back - from food, to weather, to my country's COVID environment -  working through 3 breakups within the 8 months of travelling - both personally & professionally. Which actually has been a blessing because... - it has taught me to not give a shit anymore. I no longer want to dim the light just because the person is insecure or threatened by me. That is not going to be my reality anymore! It's a new dawn,  It's a new day, It's a new life for me, And I am feeling good! Follow me: https://www.tiktok.com/@ibansesat https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUky1_WmJUHVkRR8ilXz76g

The chapter of 2021 is finally coming to a close. With the good moments being great and the not-so-good moments being dark & heavy, I am truly grateful for the blessings and love I have received over the year. Like so many, 2021 was a challenge to say the least. It is incredible to look back and see where I came from. Absolutely incredible. Do I know where I am going and what 2022 is looking like in my eyes? No, but as always I am hopeful. Of course, the year is going to be exciting and challenging, filled with tears and laughter, fun and learnings. While I may not know much past that, I know for certain that I cannot and will not live the way I did before. I talk a lot about why I deleted my social media platforms and why I am continuing to streamline my presence online. I was watching an astrologer on YouTube mention that we as a collective are leaving an old planet behind and are learning to adapt to a new planet. The transition between old into new planet has been like being born again, teething, crawling and stumbling... all before we can finally walk and fly the way we are meant to now. So where are we in the journey towards the new planet/chapter? I can't answer for anyone but myself---- I am teething. Growing pains, it hurts. Yet while I am stumbling, I am slowly gaining the strength to stand and see the horizons ahead. I am working hard in being present more. Not an easy feat but I am hopeful. Anyways, all this is to tell all of you here that even though I may not be active online as much, I am well and happy, and looking forward to 2022. May we all be showered with love throughout the year to come, and may we continue to live with faith and grace in our spirits. LoveLove, Liz (YouTube: LoveLoveLiz)

First off, Hello to my listeners! I apologize for going MIA on this podcast. Thank you for reaching out to me, checking up on me and staying tuned.  Secondly, Hello to anyone new to my channel, if I sent this to you, it means you mean so much to me, touched a special part of my soul .. and this is my gift to you.  I have moved from the US to Mexico to the US and now in Canada. There's a lot to unpack, for sure! But as usual, I return to my podcast with an overall update, starting with what is in my mind and heart at present moment.  Sending my love always! LoveLove, Liz

I can't believe that it's taken me this long to return to my most honest platform. I apologize for disappearing. Here's an podcast on my updated life so far.  - now off anti-depressants - on ADHD meds  - still "there" for others - I am still last ... but I have to say this little Iban Sesat is glad to be back. LoveLove, Liz

This post is dated 14th June 2021, a month since my last post and 2 months since the last published post. I do have other recordings but I jumped to present moment just to give you are the real update on myself. So what is this post about? Mental health Think -  dark cloud, black dog, etc Possibly ADHD, still uncertain. And of course, as always, some real talk. Get your hot drink ready... #depression

While a lot more happier in my happy place, I am starting to wonder about new signs/symptoms of PMS that were not as evident as now. I am starting to feel like I am entering a new stage- perimenopause. I want to get to the bottom of it... and I do! Meanwhile I also discover a new way of giving myself face massages. I get quirky like this!

Right after the Lent 2021. I am glad that daily post was over! But I am not done clearing and cleansing my whole being just yet. Now I am decluttering my life. That's where I am taking the next steps of my Lent. I also share where the ego was at that moment in time. Finding a new little piece of heaven, eternally grateful for divine intervention at the very last days of Lent. It is important to follow the messages that speak to my soul. And above all, as much as a lot of my Lent Diary 2021 were ranty, bitchy and highly emotional... I am not cancelling them no matter how bad they were, because they are me and my experience through the journey, which was obviously not all that joyful. Nevertheless, in this post I am in a MUCH happier place. Amen.

The night before Easter, I didn't sleep. Thoughts of the day gravitated towards: Being surrounded by noise, the bed I was in was hot and uncomfortable.... and I could feel crawling... things! Am I clairaudient? Why is trying to listen to God not as easy as when I am not trying at all? So with Easter being done... then what? #lent2021

My prayers are finally answered, only a day before Easter. I found myself a nest! #lent2021

No background music, not much editing. Just me, feeling so empty. Knowing that the changes are there, slowly being made... but feeling ever so frustrated anyways. Uncomfortable in my own skin and where I am. Sad. You've been warned. #lent2021

  My revelation is to change my narrative because I am getting angry at everyone but mostly myself because I haven't paid attention to me. I need to turn this shit around and enforce some boundaries. #lent2021

Very much a continuation from the previous post, should I search or wait for something to happen? I am also angry at myself for not keeping my own promise. Disappointed and filled with so much shame.... and desperately seeking encouragement. I don't know if that is a good thing or not, but it is my truth at the moment. #lent2021

Still feeling extremely unenthusiastic and unmotivated... would this be considered depression? Anyways, I am frustrated with myself and waiting for Divine Intervention to come to my doorstep instead of me searching. Dear God,  Is that possible? #lent2021

A mentor once told me that I had ruined my reputation, no one will want to work with me now. In this episode, I definitely don't give a fuck. This episode is about my work and personal life. It's a bitchfest. You've been warned.

A very short update on my day - catching up on my routine, trying not to be bothered by invisible mites and distracting noise. You know, the usual. #lent2021 

Day 30: Feeling blessed that our generation now have so many platforms to express ourselves Day 31: Finally got my period hah! And adopted a kitten at the same time Day 32: Don't panic everyone! Day 33: Exhausted! #lent2021

I assume that I had found the cure for menstrual cramps I failed miserably at organizing my day I am angry but I have to remind myself how grateful I should be at the same time. It is a frustrating pity party all around. Sigh. #lent2021

This is a short episode (thankfully) on the little pity-party I decided to throw myself... for feeling: unorganized without direction unsure disappointed with myself  like an ungrateful spoilt brat ... and all I can do is keep going #lent2021

Meaning: I decided to take on the challenge to adopt Bulan, the dog that hates me. yup. #lent2021 

What you will find it exactly what I learned through the Liver Flush/Cleanse process, having a newfound curiosity about the health of my brain, and considering the importance of a 10 year plan. This entry is a little jumbled up... but hey, aren't our thoughts very much that? #lent2021