Simplify Complexity: Christian Relationship Advice & Help

How important is finding compatibility to you when dating? When seeking a life partner, you don’t want to choose anyone. You wanna find someone you’re compatible with, but what does that mean? The word compatible is where two things are able to exist or occur together without problem or conflict. There are some things that you don’t want to mix together such as baking soda and vinegar, or bleach and rubbing alcohol. When you combine these chemicals they create something that is toxic and unsafe. This is also true in relationships. The reality is some people don’t mix well. When you put them together they create something toxic. When joining together in the union of marriage, your personalities, & worldviews should complement each other. It’s not to say everything is perfect and you don’t experience challenge, but for the most part you’re good for each other, and together you’re good for others. In this podcast we discuss things you want to be mindful of when seeking compatibility in the dating process. Don’t underestimate the importance of this stage and your responsibility to choose wisely. Hosted by Pastor Brian Wallace & Keonte McDonald The post Finding Compatibility When Dating appeared first on Simplify Complexity.

Disagreements, frustrations and disappointments are impossible to avoid in relationships. Although we can’t avoid disagreements and frustrations in relationships, it doesn’t mean they have to turn into arguments. Disagreements aren’t the same as arguments. An argument occurs when two sides are approaching a disagreement in unhealthy and unproductive ways. An arguing couple in most cases isn’t seeking resolution, rather they are seeking to be right or prove someone wrong. Bad relationship arguments go to the next level, with extremes of yelling, name calling, or shutting down? Normally both side walk away not talking, and more upset than before. SO WHAT DO YOU DO? What do you do when an argument has moved you to not talking? Although our desire is to avoid arguments, especially bad ones, sometimes they happen. When your tempers are flaring and frustrations are overflowing, how do you reengage one another for the betterment of your relationship/marriage. In this podcast episode we share practical tips to help you win the battle for your relationship verses winning an argument. If you desire to have a healthy marriage/relationship you have to be able to recover from bad arguments (FYI… Frequent arguing is an indicator that you need to work on better communication skills as a couple to avoid arguments altogether). Hosted by Pastor Brian Wallace and Keonte McDonald The post How to Recover from Bad Relationship Arguments? appeared first on Simplify Complexity.

Have you ever found yourself frustrated or disappointed when dating? A disappointment is a negative feeling that results from something not living up to an expectation. When we open up ourselves to romantic interests (e.i. dating) we normally have some form of hope or expectation. An expectation to meet someone we like, where feelings are mutual, and a lasting relationship is formed. Unfortunately, like many journeys getting to the destination can be a long and bumpy ride with unexpected challenges. It’s difficult to avoid disappointments when dating! So what does a person do? Do you just not date? Do you not allow yourself to get emotionally connected by hardening your heart? The answer is neither. The truth is, 80 to 90% of our dating disappointments are self-inflicted. In this podcast episode we look at some of the dating disappointments we experience, and point out key things you can do to minimize or eliminate them all together. Please share this someone you know who needs encouragement as they navigate dating. Hosted by Pastor Brian Wallace & Keonte McDonald The post Dating Disappointments: How To Overcome Them! appeared first on Simplify Complexity.

What does it mean to be honest about your Relationship mistakes? A mistake can be intentional or unintentional but the key is, it’s wrong. It is a form of behavior that is either dishonest, unjust, or immoral and often violates another. In life and in relationships we make mistakes, the question is, what is our response once we commit them. For some, the urge is to ignore their wrongdoings, make excuses, or even worse blaming others. This is a form of self-deception and will lead to someone repeating the same relationship mistakes over and over again. Recently in an interview Shaquille O’Neal spoke candidly about his past marriage and specifically his mistakes. In the interview he was given the opportunity to gloss over the roll he played in the breakdown and eventual divorce of his marriage. Rather than ignoring his error, he boldly corrected the interviewer and shared his relationship mistakes that led to the eventual demise of his marriage. This showed a maturity and a willingness to grow and be better.  It is our ability to be honest with God, ourselves, and with others that helps us find healing from our past errors. How do we get there? How do we gain this form of self honesty, and avoid repeated headaches. If you desire to live a blessed life and maintain healthy relationships this is one episode you won’t want to miss.  Hosted by Pastor Brian Wallace & Keonte McDonald  The post Being Honest about Your Relationship Mistakes appeared first on Simplify Complexity.

Any solid entity needs a solid foundation or anchor to bring it stability. Consider for a moment a ship without an anchor. It would find itself fighting against the current, drifting from place to place unable to remain in one place. Consider a home and the destruction that would follow after a storm if it lacked a strong foundation. This is no different in relationships. People want strong healthy relationships, but they find themselves drifting and shaken after the storms of life. What is stabilizing your relationship? There are many practical things that we can do to help bring stability to our relationships. The most important thing is finding that stable and immovable object outside of our relationship first. I ship can’t anchor on it’s self and a relationship can’t either. Meaning if you only look within the relationship, you’ll be limited to find something strong enough to keep it. God is that immovable object that is able to stabilize not only you, but your relationship. How do you practically allow God to stabilize your relationship? In this episode not only will we share how God brings stability, but also practical things you can do to stabilizing your relationship in Christ. If you too have tips you do to help you relationship please share this in the comment section. Hosted by Pastor Brian Wallace and Keonte McDonald Scripture: Unless the LORD builds a house, the work of the builder is wasted. Unless the LORD protects a city, guarding it with sentries will do no good (Ps 127:1, NLT) The post What is Stabilizing your Relationship? appeared first on Simplify Complexity.

Why is it when a woman chooses a man that is deemed undesirable by the world, people attack her character, assuming there’s an ulterior motive? As if her motives can’t be pure driven from the heart and wisdom. Recently on a podcast Channing Crowder attacked the character of Ciara and Russell Wilson. In his podcast Channing proclaimed that the only reason Ciara is with Russell Wilson is because of his money. In summary Channing felt Ciara’s EX rapper Future was a better catch, and that Russell Wilson was a square. Sadly, Channing contributed to the insinuating idea women are only with nice guys (i.e. a square) for their money. We are here to proclaim that not all woman are gold diggers. A “Gold Digger” is slang that refers to a person who engages in a relationship for money rather than love. In this episode, we discuss how insulting it is to label women as Gold diggers, because they choose a man others characterize as less appealing. We also discuss how sad it is that we try to put a negative cloud over the NICE GUY. I.E. those who desire to be good man, clean cut, and not run the streets. Men who desire to be law abiding cities and take care of their children and family. This is a great episode that will challenge your perspective and encourage you before you label others, or allow others to label you. Hosted by Pastor Brian Wallace & Keonte McDonald Photo Copyright by sifotography 123rd Photos The post Not ALL Woman are Gold Diggers appeared first on Simplify Complexity.

Have you ever made a rash decision that you regretted later. In life we all have moments or things where we are urged to loose control. This could be something common such as an act of cutting someone off in a moment of road rage, or it could be something uncommon such as a violent attack upon a cheating spouse. In the case of Will Smith, it was going on stage at the Oscars and hitting Chris Rock. The point is out-of-control behavior is something we all must be on guard against.  Learn from vs Judge from It’s easy on the outside to look at another persons negative behavior and be self-righteous, but Jesus reminds us to be careful when casting stones. We are not better than other people. We all need grace. When approaching other people’s sin in judgment, we should always consider how we’ve also sinned. In no way shape or form do we want to condone Will Smith’s out-of-control behavior. As everyone is hyper analyzing Will Smith’s behavior, we must all recognize that we too have the ability to lose control. Although it may look different sometimes for the better or for the worse, these moments give us an opportunity to reflect on how do we avoid falling into the same trap of lost control. Possibly destroying your marriage, your relationships, your children, and your future. In this podcast episode we’ll take a look at how we are all susceptible to out-of-control behavior. We will examine things we can learn and most importantly what are things that we can do to prevent out of control behavior in our own lives.  Hosted by Pastor Brian Wallace and Keonte McDonald  The post Learning From VS Judging Will Smith’s Out-of-Control Behavior appeared first on Simplify Complexity.

To celebrate or not celebrate Valentine’s Day, that is the question? Just because something is a cultural norm, it doesn’t mean it has to be a normal practice for you. Valentines Day is a national celebrated holiday, but its value varies from person to person. Some people love it, the romance, the gifts and special attention that comes with it. Yet for others, the day doesn’t mean as much. It’s not to say they don’t enjoy romance, gifts, or special treatment. It just doesn’t have to be on that day. How do you keep something pure when it becomes commercialized? In this podcast we desire to have a discussion about Valentines Day. We are not obligating you to agree with our view points, but rather encouraging people to give thought to the things they do. With many things there are good and bad aspects. The key is asking, does it fit for you. Hosted by Pastor Brian Wallace & Keonte McDonald The post Should you Celebrate Valentine’s Day appeared first on Simplify Complexity.

How does one remain happy and content in singleness? Be intentional in your approach! Finding happiness and contentment in singleness is not an accident. Just as having a happy marriage isn’t. Obtaining success in life requires you to take action. God tells us that one reaps what they sow. If you are purposeful in your choices as a single man or woman then you will reap the benefits. Our challenge for you as you step into the new year is give yourself single goals. Goals aren’t just for those in relationships Many have heard of couples having relationship goals, but often we leave out goals for those who are single. As a single man or woman, it’s just as important to give yourself goals as you strive to achieve success in your singleness. Otherwise you’re just aimlessly living day today hoping happiness finds you. In this podcast episode we share some great New Year single goals that will help you obtain success in 2022. Hosted by Pastor Brian Wallace & Keonte McDonald Register for our Free “New Year” Dating Realignment Webinar February 10, 2020 Photo Copyright by 123rf Photos, loganban The post “New Year” Single Goals appeared first on Simplify Complexity.

Dating can be a rollercoaster!!! There are moments in the dating process where you have emotional highs. You meet new people, you meet someone you like, you get to know that person, and maybe it turns into a something special. Yet, there are also the lows. You can’t find a date, you meet bad people, or find yourself rejected. What is your approach to dating successfully? Do you have dating goals? When dating, a major mistake people make is they do it aimlessly. They don’t really have a plan or target, but just hope for the best, hoping to meet the one! As you set new year resolutions for 2022 don’t forget to give yourself dating goals. In this podcast we will discuss possible new year dating goals you can give yourself as you seek to find a spouse, bettering your chances of success. Hosted by Pastor Brian Wallace and Keonte McDonald Exciting News to Kick off the Year:  For ten days in January I will have my book Chasing Happily Ever After on sale for only $5.00 (50% OFF). On January 20th we will host a FREE Marriage Tune-Up Webinar. To register click here.Join our mailing list for other great updates throughout the year. The post “New Year” Dating Goals appeared first on Simplify Complexity.

It’s often said in sports, “if you’re not getting better, you’re getting worse.” I believe this saying is not only true in sports, but in relationships. As a spouse you should always be seeking to grow. How can you be a better husband? How can you be a better wife? One way to be intentional to grow in your relationship is by setting marriage goals, and what better time to set goals, than in the New Year. If you aim at nothing, you’ll hit nothing! New Year Resolutions are a great way to start a new year. A person has an opportunity to reflect on their past. Consider things that went well, things not so well, and list areas of improvement. To keep making the same mistakes, but expecting different results is insane. If you want your marriage to be better then do better. Don’t repeat the mistakes you made last year in your marriage. Take time to reflect with your spouse. Ask the question, what are areas I can improve in and then set S.M.A.R.T. marriage goals Sometimes when it comes to goal setting we need help. In this podcast we share key New Year marriage goals that are impactful, but also easy to implement. We offer examples of how you can apply them and more importantly measure their success. Invest in your marriage today and it will pay dividends throughout the year. Hosted by Pastor Brian Wallace and Keonte McDonald Exciting News to Kick off the Year: For the next ten days until January 15, 2022 I will have my book Chasing Happily Ever After on sale for only $5.00 (50% OFF). On January 20th we will host a FREE Marriage Tune-Up Webinar. To register click here.Join our mailing list for other great updates throughout the year. Photo Copyright by 123RF, Sharpner The post “New Year” Marriage Goals appeared first on Simplify Complexity.

How are you approaching family & in-laws within your relationship? When it comes to weird uncles, hardheaded cousins, or even that overly intrusive Mother, family dynamics can be challenging. So much so terms such as Monster-in-laws are used to describe them. Although we all have “THOSE” family & in-laws it doesn’t mean challenging family dynamics have to destroy your relationship. You have the power to determine how much your in-laws wreak have it on your relationship. When it comes to family sometimes you can feel you don’t have choices, but that’s a lie! You always have a choice. Although they come at a cost and aren’t easy, setting boundaries when dealing with family is critical to a successful marriage. Loving a sibling or parent, doesn’t mean you have to be a door mate, nor does it mean they have the right to destroy your marriage. In this podcast we want to talk about the challenge dynamic of family and in-laws, offering advice and tips that will spare you future headaches. Hosted by Pastor Brian Wallace & Keonte McDonald Key Scripture: He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate ( Matthew 19:4-6 ESV).” The post Dealing with Family & In-laws this Holiday Season! appeared first on Simplify Complexity.

If you had to choose between Looks vs character, which would you choose? Thankfully when approaching relationships a person doesn’t have to choose between looks vs character. Both play an important role within relationship. Yet, too often people place more emphasis on looks rather than character. Most people when choosing whom to date are driven by external attraction. Unfortunately, the emphasis of external attraction keeps people from seeing the most important part about a person and the success of a relationship. Who a person is on the inside (i.e. character). Don’t allow superficiality to consume your dating or marriage experience! I believe in our culture we put too much emphasis on what we see. Whether marketing campaigns or social media the battle against superficiality is what relationship face. Although attraction plays an important role within a relationship, it shouldn’t be the primary thing that drives your relationship. People shouldn’t move into a committed relationship primarily based on looks, and they also should be moved out of a relationship when looks fade. In this podcast we take a hard look at the battle between looks vs character. We share helpful hints to maintain a healthy perspective of both as you navigate your relationship. Hosted by Pastor Brian Wallace & Keonte McDonald SCRIPTURE: Let your beauty be not just the outward adorning of braiding the hair, and of wearing jewels of gold, or of putting on fine clothing;  but in the hidden person of the heart, in the incorruptible adornment of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God (1Peter 3:3-4). The post Looks vs Character: The Battle Against Superficiality appeared first on Simplify Complexity.

There’s an old saying, don’t put your business in the streets. Yet, how does this apply in the 21st century? In the age of social media, blogging, and streaming people are sharing more personal information about themselves in an ever increasing way. Yet, when sharing, when do you cross the line. When can sharing become damaging, to you personally. This is extremely problematic in the area of relationships. One of the challenges of sharing too much information about your relationship, is it involves more than just you! We may not always realize the impact or effect of what we share has on our spouse or mate. Think twice before you post, stream or upload! In this podcast episode we take a look at how much information one should share about their relationship. We use a recent example of Jayda Pickett and Will Smith. Some people felt Jayda had crossed the line as she began to talk about her sex life between her and will smith. Putting their business in the streets! Although they are not your average couple as they live a very public life, there are some things that we can learn from their experience. No matter where you are in a relationship process, understanding the balance of how much you share on social media or in social groups is important to maintaining a healthy relationship. We want to encourage you to communicate with your mate and build boundaries as to what you share publicly with others concerning your relationship. Hosted by Pastor Brian Wallace and Keonte McDonald The post How Much Is Too Much When Sharing About Your Relationship appeared first on Simplify Complexity.

A myth is a widely held but false belief or idea. There are ideas people hold that aren’t always true. Unfortunately, people pass on these false ideas or personal preferences as truth, forming myths. Myths can be passed down from generation to generation, mentor to pupil, or even through social media platforms. Although something sounds true, or people say it’s true, it doesn’t always mean it’s true. God warns us to be vigilant. The need to be vigilant is also important when dating. God desires for everyone to avoid the negative effects of falsehoods. There are Christian dating myths that are causing confusion or challenging people as they search for a mate. Don’t allow traditions or opinions to shape your understanding of truth. When it comes to Christian dating myths there are many views and perspectives people hold. Unfortunately, people share these views and preferences as truth, when they are not. In this podcast we welcome special guest Eric Demeter, author of How Should a Christian Date, to the show. We have fun exploring various false ideas surrounding dating and hopefully liberating people from a closed perspective. Hosted by Pastor Brian Wallace, Keonte McDonald, and guest Eric Demeter The post Christian Dating Myths appeared first on Simplify Complexity.

Is there a right or wrong amount one should spend on a wedding? Weddings can be amazing, but they can also be extremely costly. The average wedding in America is 30,000 dollars. Yes, you read that correctly. People are spending on a wedding the same price you can buy a car, or a down payment on a home. Is spending this amount wrong or something you should feel guilty about? How much should a person spend on a wedding? There are varying & passionate opinions when approaching costs for a wedding. Often times women and even men have thought about their dream wedding from the time they were children. To them this is a once in a life time experience, and their feelings are to spare no cost. Therefore when dealing with peoples dreams and expectations you have to be sensitive. Although you may disagree, it doesn’t necessarily mean that your opinion is the right one. For the most part, there isn’t a right or wrong amount one should spend on a wedding, accept on TWO occasions. In this podcast episode we take a close look at the subject of how much a person should spend when planning a wedding. We share from a non-biased perspective, and then a personal perspective when approaching this subject. We then offer helpful tips for couples when discussing this subject among yourselves to avoid disagreements. Finally we give two exceptions when a cost for a wedding can be outside the will of God. Hosted by Pastor Brian Wallace & Keonte McDonald Did we miss something? Please leave your comments and share. The post How Much Should One Spend On A Wedding? appeared first on Simplify Complexity.

Traumatic events are incidences that cause physical, emotional, spiritual, or psychological harm. Sometimes relationships face challenges as a result of incidences between a couple. This can be a spouse who does something dishonest, or a partner who says hurtful things. Yet, in relationships there are some traumatic events that don’t come from the couple, but rather come from outside sources. For example, this can be a spouse who loses a mother or father, or one who get’s let go from their job. These outside traumatic events in relationships can be just as harmful to a marriage as an internal argument, if not handled with care and respect. Unfortunately, you can’t always control what happens in life circumstances There are times when life just isn’t fair. Moments, when you get blindsided. Over the past two years, people all over the world have been dealing with the distress of a pandemic, losing loved ones, financial woes, and health scares. These events can bring distress upon an individual. Eventually this stress will find its way to erode a healthy marriage or relationship. You can’t ignore outside challenges that are happening to your partner. How you approach the trauma your partner maybe experiencing is critical to your relationship’s health and future. In this podcast episode we talk about some of the outside traumatic events couples experience in relationships, and how those events might negatively impact couples. We offer helpful tips you can apply in these challenging moments, even if you feel frustrated or unsure how to help. Hosted by Pastor Brian Wallace and Keonte McDonald The post How to Approach Traumatic Events in Relationships appeared first on Simplify Complexity.

Is it proper to compare marriage to a business? There a lot of things we can compare marriage too. Some people compare marriage to a rollercoaster, and the ups and downs one may experience. In my book, Chasing Happily Ever After, I compared building a house to building a solid relationship, and the importance of a strong foundation. Even God compares marriage to our relationship with Him. So is it a fair to say marriage is a business. Recently there was a post on social media where a particular person did just that in justifying their actions and viewpoints. Which begs the question, is marriage a business? “Men need to stop disrespecting women and asking them to marry them with a 1 carat diamond ring. If you can’t afford a ring 3 carat or better you can’t afford a wife. It’s bigger than being materialistic. Rather, it’s about being able to see with your third eye. It is about being able to read in between the lines that marriage is a business. Whether y’all like it or not, Disney messed peoples heads up with, “happily ever after”. You cannot start a business without some type of financial backing! What can we do for each other??? If you don’t have enough money to spend on an inanimate object such as a ring, you are not ready to invest in a business (i.e. marriage). Go back to the drawing board.”Facebook Post Your worldview shapes your perspective, and in-turn your perspective molds your actions. When we hold certain perspectives, those perspectives shape how we see and live. For example, when someone has the perspective that sex is sacred and only meant for marriage. It will cause a person to keep themselves from multiple sexual partners and saving sex for marriage. On the other hand, if someone views sex as a tool for enjoyment and to be explored. It will most likely cause that person to be promiscuous and have multiple sexual partners. When it comes to comparing a marriage to a business. We have to ask how does that impact our actions. Does doing so have a negative impact or positive impact upon how one approaches relationships. In this podcast episode we take a look at this comparison, and answer some of these questions. In the end is marriage a business? Hosted by Pastor Brian Wallace and Keonte McDonald The post Is Marriage a Business? appeared first on Simplify Complexity.

It has been said, “diamonds are a girls best friend.” So naturally a woman’s probably going to want one when getting engaged. A diamond ring has become a staple among what is offered when proposing in marriage. Yet is it superficial of a woman to reject a man’s engagement, if he offers something other than a diamond? This is a sensitive subject because many women feel passionate about marriage and the engagement process. This subject recently came up as a topic circulating on social media. Which begs the question, is it superficial to demand a diamond engagement ring. In this post a particular woman, who will remain nameless posted the following… “Men need to stop disrespecting women and asking them to marry them with a 1 carat diamond ring. If you can’t afford a ring 3 carat or better you can’t afford a wife. It’s bigger than being materialistic. Rather, it’s about being able to see with your third eye. It is about being able to read in between the lines that marriage is a business. Whether y’all like it or not, Disney messed peoples heads up with, “happily ever after”. You cannot start a business without some type of financial backing! What can we do for each other??? If you don’t have enough money to spend on an inanimate object such as a ring, you are not ready to invest in a business (i.e. marriage). Go back to the drawing board.”Facebook Post Superficial is defined as, one lacking the ability to show depth of character or understanding. This post has drawn many responses as it says a lot! Even while reading it, it may have struck a cord within you. Although there are many things we could talk about when reading her post, one subject that pops up is the thought of being superficial, and whether or not an attitude of demanding a diamond shows a lack of character or understanding? The emphasis of our topic today centers around the word “demand.” There’s nothing wrong with a woman wanting a diamond ring, or even asking for one. The question that we’re asking is, is it superficial to rejects one’s engagement if the ring is not a diamond. In this podcast episode we have fun discussing different points of this post, but then we also take a serious look at what is superficial, and when we are possibly lacking depth in our approach to relationships. Hosted by Pastor Brian Wallace and Keonte McDonald. The post Is it Superficial to Demand a Diamond Engagement Ring? appeared first on Simplify Complexity.

Singleness IS NOT a disease, not is it a bad thing! Being single isn’t purgatory, an in-between period of life that you have to suffer through until you get to something better (aka marriage). First off, who said marriage is something better. If you ask some people, marriage can be jail, but that’s a different topic. Singleness is an amazing part of life that you don’t want to miss out on. Yet, if you are not careful a discontent spirit can cause you to do just that. The key is to getting the most out of singleness is YOU! Once you’re married, YOU ARE MARRIED! Life goes through seasons, and each season of life we are told to enjoy it. Yet with each season of life we are growing and becoming better people. Singleness is no different. You have the ability to make the most of it. In this podcast we share tips that can help you find the joy of being single before you miss it. If you’re content in your singleness we maybe be able to offer ways that you can make it even better. Ultimately, we want to encourage those who are single, not to miss out on this amazing time period of your life. Get the most out of thing on this because once it’s gone. It’s Gone! Hosted by Pastor Brian Wallace and Keonte McDonald Key Scripture: Eccl. 3:1-5 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot,  a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them…. Eccl. 3:22So I saw that there is nothing better for a person than to enjoy their work, because that is their lot. For who can bring them to see what will happen after them? Picture Copyright: mimagephotography – 123RF Photo The post Getting the Most Out of Singleness appeared first on Simplify Complexity.