Men, Sex & Pleasure with Cam Fraser

On this episode of the #mensexpleasure podcast, I chat with Dr. Caroline Heldman. Dr. Heldman is a professor of Critical Theory & Social Justice at Occidental College in Los Angeles. She is also Executive Director of The Representation Project and a political commentator for Spectrum and CNN International. Dr. Heldman has published six books on gender justice and politics, and her work has been featured in numerous documentaries, including Miss Representation and The Mask You Live In. She co-founded the New Orleans Women’s Shelter, the Lower Ninth Ward Living Museum, End Rape on Campus (EROC), Faculty Against Rape (FAR), and led the End Rape Statute of Limitations (ERSOL) that successfully abolished the time limit on prosecuting rape in California. She is the Board President of the TEP Center, the first Civil Rights museum in New Orleans, and the Chair of the Board of Alturas Institute, a non-profit fighting for stronger democracy. Key points: - Dr. Heldman introduces herself - Levels of social justice advocacy - The impact of pornography on sex - Why we need to educate about porn - Sexual objectification - Selling body dissatisfaction to men - Body image issues and fatphobia Relevant links Caroline’s Instagram: @carolineheldman Caroline’s website: https://drcarolineheldman.com/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cam-fraser/message

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Luna Matatas. Luna is a Sex and Pleasure Educator with over 15 years of experience teaching sex and empowerment workshops. She celebrates body confidence, self-adoration and building shame-free pleasure in and out of the bedroom. She teaches 30+ sexy skills topics; including threesomes, BDSM and sexual confidence. She created Peg the Patriarchy® and Meditate Medicate Masturbate® brands as part of her sex-positive and feminist merchandise. Key points: - Luna introduces herself - “Peg the Patriarchy” - Men’s desire to dominate - What do we mean by dominance? - How to explore power play - Tips for concerned men - Tips for interested couples Relevant links: Luna’s website: https://lunamatatas.com/ Luna’s Instagram: @lunamatatas --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cam-fraser/message

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Dr. Lauren Fogel Mersy. Lauren is a licensed psychologist and AASECT certified sex therapist. She has been a sex and relationship specialist for 10 years. Her work focuses on helping individuals, couples, and partners improve their relationships, both emotionally and sexually. Lauren’s mission is to support people in creating relationships that are more secure, joyful, and fulfilling. The two of us discuss the topic of her new book, Desire: An Inclusive Guide to Navigating Libido Differences in Relationships, which, as the name suggests, is all about how couples can work through the challenges presented by discrepancies in their respective libidos.   Key points: - Lauren introduces herself and her book about desire and libido in relationships - The importance of inclusivity when discussing libido differences - Why couples seek help for varying levels of desire - Libido discrepancies over time - Emotional challenges and feelings of disconnection - Misalignment and societal expectations   Relevant links: Lauren’s Instagram: @drlaurenfogelmersy Lauren’s website: https://drlaurenfogel.com/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cam-fraser/message

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Andrew Daniel. Andrew is an award-winning and international bestselling author and director at the Center for Cinesomatic Development. His Cinesomatics® workshops are held internationally from New York to London, Tuscany to Switzerland—helping professionals see the elusive patterns that hold them back. This methodology leads the world in cinematic movement diagnostics and advanced intuition development integrating approaches from embodiment, shadow work, therapy, and spirituality. His book, Awaken to Your True Self, is a gold Nautilus Book Awards recipient and #1 Amazon bestseller in the US & UK. In his early career, Andrew coded a particle and physics engine by the age of 18⁠, used by top Fortune 100 companies over the 7 years of his software business. His first teaching work, Holistic Sex (Mindvalley, 2014), provided the world with a new paradigm that bridged the divide between sexuality, spirituality, and the sexes. Andrew is also an advisor for the Alan Watts Organization. Key poins: Andrew introduces himself What is Cinesomatics®? Observations about male clients Men hold tension in their body Fear, vulnerability, and anxiety Moving the body to release trauma Practical advice for men Relevant links: Andrew’s website: https://andrewdaniel.org/ Andrew’s Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@andrewdaniel  --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cam-fraser/message

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Anisa Varasteh. Anisa is a Clinical Sexologist, the Director of Relate Sexology, and the President of the Society of Australian Sexologists (SA/NT branch). Anisa provides therapy to individuals and partners as well as consultancy and training on mental health and sexuality related topics to clinicians and organizations. She is passionate about her work as a sexologist as she has the privilege to be part of people's journey to discover and re-discover what is fulfilling, meaningful, and pleasurable for them. She has worked with couples, individuals and people in multi-partnered relationships to support them with their relationships, sense of identity, sex life, and explore how they can connect with their authentic self. When she is not at work she is probably writing, hiking, watching lengthy art-house films or discovering new and exciting places around the world. Key points: Anisa introduces herself Misconceptions about BDSM Defining BDSM and kink Traumatic vs therapeutic experiences Exploring kink alone Introducing kink to a partner Relevant links: Instagram: @relatesexology Podcast: Sexplicit Website: www.relatesexology.com Course: https://www.relatesexology.com/healing-through-kink --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cam-fraser/message

Tim Hammond is a grassroots human rights activist who has been involved in numerous social change movements. As a teenager conscientiously opposed to fighting in Vietnam, he wrote copious letters to Congress urging an immediate end to the war. Tim has been committed to Congressional passage of the U.S. Peace Tax Fund Bill, which would re-direct the military portion of one's taxes (currently 50% of every dollar spent by the U.S. government) toward life-sustaining human services. He was active in raising public consciousness about women's rights and the need for the Equal Rights Amendment (ERA). In 1987 Tim was among hundreds of men and women arrested on the steps of the U.S. Supreme Court to protest its decision to uphold states' rights to legislate private sexual behavior among consenting adults in their own home (a decision the Court ultimately reversed in 2003). He was a member of the Children's Rights Network of Amnesty International/USA and a member of the National Organization on Male Sexual Victimization (now MaleSurvivor.org).  Key points: Tim introduces himself Activism and retaliation Circumcision in America Global Survey of Circumcision Harm Foreskin anatomy A brief history of foreskin restoration Advice for men who’re interested in foreskin restoration Relevant links: Tim’s survey of foreskin restorers: https://www.nature.com/articles/s41443-023-00686-5 --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cam-fraser/message

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Ruby Ryder of PeggingParadise.com and TheArtofPegging.com. Ruby is a podcaster, blogger, sex worker, sex educator and a published writer of erotic fiction. She has been educating people about pegging for the last 13 years. She moderated panels at CatalystCon East and West, and presented at DomCon LA. Ruby’s erotica is in Violet Blue’s ‘Best Women’s Erotica 2014.’ She also appeared in an episode of Comedy Central’s ‘Not Safe with Nikki Glaser’. Ruby’s mission is to help interested people add one more thing to their sexual treasure chest of choices by teaching them all about pegging, and to do everything she can to encourage more sex-positivity with less sexual shame. She resides in Southern California near the beach, and loves watching the surfers change out of their wetsuits. Key points: Ruby introduces herself The misconceptions around pegging The importance of communication, consent, and comfort  Role reversal, deepening intimacy, and understanding partners Emotional responses during pegging Equipment for pegging Erections, performance, and pleasure  Relevant Links: Ruby’s websites: https://peggingparadise.com/ and https://www.theartofpegging.com/ Ruby’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@peggingparadise --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cam-fraser/message

Yael R. Rosenstock Gonzalez (she/her/ella), known as YaeltheSexGeek, is a queer, polyamorous, neurodivergent Nuyorican (Puerto Rican New Yorker) Jewish pleasure activist (a term popularized by adrienne maree brown) who believes that sexual wellness and sexual liberation involve our whole selves. In her coaching and educational offerings she centers identity, values, and social positioning work, playful exploration, and intimacy with self and others. She is the founder of Kaleidoscope Vibrations, LLC (KV), a company dedicated to supporting exploration and creating spaces for individuals to find community and belonging in their identities, and Sex Positive You, which adds to KV's work by centering sex, sexuality, and intimacy. She is the author of An Introguide to a Sex Positive You: Lessons, Tales, & Tips and is a sex writer for The Buzz by Pure Romance. Yael is also currently a Curriculum Strategist, Facilitator, and Coach with the Center for Ethnic, Racial, and Religious Understanding and a Health Behavior doctoral student with the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at IU Bloomington. Her research centers the nuances of identity and power in topics of sex, consent, desire, pleasure, embodiment, agency, and partnering styles with a particular interest in Latines as a population that is underserved within sex-positive work. Key points: Yael introduces herself Internalizing body shaming Our capacity for pleasure Being fetishized by others Fetishization vs Worship Practical tips for exploring pleasure Relevant links: Yael’s website: www.sexpositiveyou.com Yael’s Instagram: @yaelthesexgeek  Yael’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/yaelthesexgeek  --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cam-fraser/message

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Pomma. Pomma does various forms of sex work and is a huge advocate for decriminalizing and destigmatizing sex work. They make educational content about sex workers’ rights in hopes to humanize sex workers and their needs to people and systems who commonly overlook sex workers. It’s very important to Pomma that sex workers’ voices are at the forefront of legislation and conversations that affect their lived realities since they’re often excluded. Pomma likes to keep their feminism and politics intersectional, because, at the end of the day, what affects them affects you, and affects all of us. When they’re not raising awareness about censorship or decriminalization, Pomma is crafting cosplays and traveling for conventions. Key Points: Pomma introduces themselves The importance of sex work “Rights, not rescue” Purity fetish and the sex work heirarchy Decriminalization vs legalization SWERFs: Sex Work Exclusionary Radical Feminists Educating on social media Relevant Links: Check out Pomma’s educational work and socials at their Carrd: Pomma.Carrd.Co --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cam-fraser/message

On this episode of the #mensexpleasure podcast I welcome back a really lovely colleague and friend of mine. Her name is Sarah Martin. You might recall her from episode number 135, where we talked about her research regarding pick up artists. In this episode, we do something a little bit different and discuss a project we've been collaborating on, known as a sexual attitude reassessment (SAR). We talk about the three major assumptions that we see practitioners often make, whether they be sex coaches or therapists or men's work facilitators. So if you're interested in having some beliefs or stereotypes or values about men challenge, this is the episode for you. Key Points: - Sarah reintroduces herself - What is a SAR? - Assumption 1: Men don’t warrant specific consideration as men - Assumption 2: You definitely have unconscious bias when it comes to men - Assumption 3: All the men who are in online communities are basement dwelling, violent misogynists - How to work with men who want to improve their communication skills but choose not to do it - Testimonial from Charles Dubois - The next SAR offering Relevant Links: The Man SAR: https://themansar.com/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cam-fraser/message

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Dr. Brendan Kwiatkowski. Brendan is a researcher and educator focused on the social-emotional wellbeing of adolescents and understanding the role that gender plays in that equation—particularly masculinity. His PhD research from the University of Edinburgh investigated teenage boys’ experiences and beliefs about being male and compared their experiences based on their levels of emotional expression. He is a mixed-methods researcher and believes very strongly in positive-focused and person-centred research that humanizes and empowers participants, as well in research that is transformative and practically useful for people in the real-world. He is from and lives in Vancouver, BC, has three kids and prior to his PhD was a high school teacher. Key points: Brendan introduces himself Discussion on toxic masculinity and its nuances Critique of the term and deliberate misunderstandings to attack masculinity Responses of teenage boys to masculine pressures Young men and emotional restriction Importance of multiple ways of being a man and role of fathers in shaping masculine identities Creating emotional safe havens for teenage boys and the need for outlets outside romantic relationships Relevant links: Brendan’s website: https://remasculine.com/  Brendan’s Instagram: @re.msculine  Brendan’s TikTok: remasculine --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cam-fraser/message

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Ahmad Jooma. Ahmad is the creator of SHOOK MAN®, a character who represents our fears, anxieties and is an engaging way for young men to talk about their mental health. Ahmad understands men who feel powerless in life - He used to be that guy! For 10+ years Ahmad studied the best courses on human nature. He has coached 100+ people around the world and produced podcasts, events and courses. Key points: Amhad introduces himself Creating "SHOOK MAN" to make fear visible "SHOOK MAN" as a tool to detach from fears and anxieties Recognizing fear as a self-defense mechanism and giving it a job to overcome it Prevalence of anxiety and fear in society, pulling people out of the present moment Importance of being free in the mind and living in the moment Impact of consumerism on society, preying on fears and desires Relevant links: Ahmad’s Instagram: @ahmad.jooma Ahmad’s website: https://www.shookman.com/  --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cam-fraser/message

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Aubrey Aurora. Aubrey is an Erotic Ritualist and event curator based in British Columbia. She has spent the better half of a decade creating luxury erotic experiences and initiations for people from all walks of life. With a gift of deep attention to ambience and atmosphere, her work is often described as a portal into the depths of your most sensual fantasies. The two of us talk at length about what an erotic ritual looks like as well as discuss the themes of theatre and fetish in BDSM and sacred sexuality containers.  Key points: Aubrey introduces herself Theatre and the spectacle of ritual Elements of erotic ritual Sacred Sexuality and BDSM Spirituality fetishism Being initiated into your eroticism Relevant links: Aubrey’s Instagram: @aubreyyaurora Aubrey’s website: aubreyaurora.com --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cam-fraser/message

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Michelle Roberton. Michelle has shared her work with many, for 20 years, specialising in Sexual Trauma & Intimacy as a Tantric educator, body worker and counsellor for adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse Her passion stems from her own journey of discovering the medicine in the poison as she set it upon herself to reclaim her body, her breath, her sexuality and sensuality and express that in new, life enriching ways. Michelle very much believes that our mind can only take us so far into any release of body trauma and healing of our sexuality. The discovery of who we authentically are is not hidden in our thoughts but in the sensuality and home of our body. Her touch has been described by many as her gift to others. Her gentle, authentically honest & calming approach, a comforting breath of fresh air. Michelle lives in the colourful, vibrant city of Brighton with her four superstar children. Key points: Michelle introduces herself What is Tantric bodywork? How trauma manifests in the body Individual and universal experiences Working with tension and disconnection Facilitating pleasure Relevant links: Michelle’s Instagram: @michellekroberton Michelle’s website: https://sacredtantrictouch.com/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cam-fraser/message

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Elle Stanger (she/they). Elle is a queer, mid-thirties nonmonogamous, parent, sex worker, AASECT Certified Sex Educator, and media producer. She has worked as a porn shop manager and product buyer, pole dancing stripper, consultant for anti-trafficking organizations, professional cuddler, porn maker, writer, podcast host, and certified sex educator. The two of us talk about their advocacy for sex workers’ rights as well as the nuances of the debates around sex work. Key points: Elle introduces herself The importance of sex work Anti-sex work discrimination Decriminalization vs legalization SWERFs: Sex Work Exclusionary Radical Feminists Feminist porn? Supporting sex workers Relevant Links: Elle’s website: ellestanger.com  Elle’s Instagram: @stripperwriter Elle’s Twitter: ellestanger --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cam-fraser/message

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Will Tantra. Will is a sex and intimacy coach living in Los Angeles. He is also a naked yoga instructor and massage instructor. He now mainly teaches through video and at Tantra retreats around the world. Will is known for his practical and hands on approach to sex education and for providing men with easy to follow exercises designed to teach how to give and receive more pleasure. Teaching men how to exercise their bodies and masturbate in a way that better prepares them for partnered sex are favorite lessons of Will's. His other passions include dance and springboard diving and he performs regularly with a burlesque theater troupe. The two of us discuss the ways in which self-pleasure can be used as means to improve our sex lives. Key Points: Will introduces himself Tantra for queer men The principles of self-pleasure Sports analogies Training for game day Practical advice for self-pleasure Relevant links: Will’s Instagram: @tantric.fitness Will’s Twitter: tantricfitness --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cam-fraser/message

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Elliot Justin MD, FACEP. Elliot is the CEO and founder of FirmTech, the world’s first sex tech company focused on keeping men firm and fit for a better lifetime of lovemaking and pleasure. Dr. Justin is an Emergency Medicine specialist and healthcare technology consultant in erectile neuromodulation, cardiovascular disease, and diabetes. He and his FirmTech team have developed the Tech Ring and the Performance Ring which are transformative tools to help men optimize personal “erectile fitness,” and to inspire better erectile and cardiovascular health. FirmTech’s mission is to help men sustain an erection, and if they have a problem, prevent it from getting worse. The Tech Ring achieved second place at the 2023 CES/Showstopper event in Health Wellness and Innovation, and the 2023 Most Innovative Sex Toy of the Year at XBIZ. Soon, FirmTech will launch its FemmeTech line dedicated to a similar mission for women. Key Points: Elliot introduces himself Erections are “the canary in the coal mine” Sex tech and data privacy The prevalence of erectile dysfunction The etiology of erectile dysfunction The future of sex tech Relevant links: Elliot’s website: https://myfirmtech.com/ Elliot’s LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/elliot-justin-md/  --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cam-fraser/message

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Erica Smith (she/her). Erica is an award winning sexuality educator and consultant with over 20 years of experience. She has provided comprehensive sex education to young women and LGBTQ+ youth in Philadelphia’s juvenile justice system, worked in abortion care, and supported HIV positive youth and transgender youth in her work. In 2019, she developed the Purity Culture Dropout™️ Program- sex education that aims to teach people everything that they missed growing up in purity culture- sex ed that is accurate, queer inclusive, trauma informed, compassionate, and comprehensive. Key Points: Erica introduces herself Purity culture and sex education Religious beliefs and anti-pornography SWERFs and Christian extremists NCOSE, Exodus Cry, and FTND The Pornhub lawsuit Speaking to consumers of porn Porn literacy Relevant links: Erica’s Instagram: @ericasmith.sex.ed Erica’s Twitter: @ericasmithsexed Erica’s Website: https://www.ericasmitheac.com/  --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cam-fraser/message

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Bryony Cole. Bryony has amassed a global following as the go-to expert on sextech. With over one million downloads of her Future of Sex podcast, and extensive global media coverage she is the trusted authority for industry insights in The New York Times, The Today Show, Wired and many other global media. Bryony has written for Playboy, and appeared on TV shows such as Netflix’s FollowThis Series, Vice Slutever, The Money Channel, and The Morning Show on Channel 7. As a highly-regarded speaker, her stage presence roster includes some of the world’s largest culture, technology and ideas events such as SXSW and Vivid. Her global sextech hackathon events and Future of Sex reports are considered the pinnacle of industry insights and innovation. She is a sought-after consultant who partners with organizations across the world forecasting trends in the sextech industry for governments, tech titans and entertainment companies. Most recently, Marie Claire awarded her podcast Future of Sex as ‘one of the best sex and relationship podcasts of 2020’. Key points: Bryony introduces herself Being replaced by sex robots A cyberpunk or solarpunk future? Deepfakes and fear mongering The impact of technology on relationships The evolution of sex toys and robots Pro-social technology which enhances connection Polarization and possibilities Relevant links: Bryony’s Instagram: @bryonycole Bryony’s website: https://www.bryonycole.co/  --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cam-fraser/message

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with the Techy Tantrika, Devika Singh. Devika is a holistic intimacy and self-relationship coach, holistic sex educator, and pleasure-inclusive sex education advocate. Her work focuses on reporting sex/dating tech trends along with normalizing conversations around topics that are still considered ‘taboo’ or socially charged. These topics include sex education, pro-sex spirituality, various forms of intimacy, rebirth and transitions (personal transformation), death positivity, and how metaphysics impact how we connect to one another throughout life. Key points: Devika introduces herself Sexual content, censorship, and terms of service FOSTA-SESTA legislation “Think of the children” rhetoric Artificial intelligence and human trafficking Tech billionaires and outrage marketing Sex toys and data privacy Politics and technology Relevant links: Devika’s YouTube/Instagram/TikTok: @TheTechyTantrika Devika’s website: devika-singh.com --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cam-fraser/message