From Foster Care to Family Law - A Child Welfare Focus

In a world filled with uncertainty and challenges, one woman's journey into child advocacy and foster care took an unexpected turn that changed her life forever. Her personal revelation ignited a passion that led to a remarkable 13-year relationship with a young man in foster care, setting her on a path of unwavering commitment and compassion. As her story unfolds, the impact she has made on the lives of children in foster care is both inspiring and deeply moving. But what was the unexpected twist that propelled her into this transformative journey? In this episode, Susan and Joan discuss:  Empowering children in foster care through advocacy and support. Personal experiences to help understand the foster care journey. The impactful role of supportive adults in foster care. The importance of legislative advocacy for foster children. “Every person has the ability to make a difference in somebody's life. It's all acts of kindness and acts of service.”  - Joan Ulsher    About Joan Ulsher: Joan Ulsher, a dedicated court-appointed special advocate in Texas, brings a wealth of personal and professional experience to the table. Her journey from a challenging childhood in foster care to a fulfilling career in the military has fueled her passion for ensuring the well-being of children in similar circumstances. In her book, "Misplaced Childhood: A True Story of Resiliency and Child Advocacy," Joan not only shares her own story but also provides insights and guidance on how every individual can make a positive impact in a child's life. Joan's commitment and empathy make her an invaluable voice in advocating for children in foster care, offering a fresh and impactful perspective on the critical issues surrounding child welfare. Purchase Joan’s book “Misplaced Childhood, a True Story of Resiliency and Child Advocacy” here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CHL9Q5P4 Connect with Joan: Website: https://www.joanulsher.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/joan_ulsher Pintrest: https://www.pinterest.ca/joanakitas/ Connect with Susan:  Website: https://www.thechesnuttlawfirm.com/ Podcast: https://www.thechesnuttlawfirm.com/podcasts/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/susan-chesnutt-27077bb9/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thechesnuttlawfirm/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCuBwfp_IVpeX-YHKpxZ5L0g Avvo: https://www.avvo.com/attorneys/32960-fl-susan-chesnutt-3330241.html

SUMMARY: Susan Chesnutt interviews author Janell Jones about her memoir "Shattered."  Her memoir talks about her experience with adopting a foster child with undisclosed conditions and the foster system's difficulty in supporting her efforts to raise the child. 

Susan Chesnutt interviews Matthew Brickman from ITAP Mediation. Matthew and Susan discuss the path to becoming a Mediator and the importance of using the mediation process to achieve the best resolutions. 

Summary: Susan Chesnutt interviews her high school teacher, Daniel Nixon Taylor, about the positive influences of educators and the lifelong impact she had in her experience participating in a mock trial in high school. 

Susan Chesnutt and former divorce attorney, Jennifer Stoler, the CEO and Founder of The Divorce Chick™ Tribe discuss the process of divorce. They review approaches that can help you evolve your divorce into a therapeutic effort to help your family move forward.

SUMMARY: Susan Chesnutt interviews a long time colleague Dawn Kirk who has been practicing family law for 30 years and mediation for 15 years. As a mediator Dawn’s primary focus is on the children, understanding the family dynamic to find an outcome in the child’s best interest. HIGHLIGHTS: [00:02:00] Dawn explains what it takes to become a mediator and the certification process. You do not need to be an attorney to earn your certification [00:03:15] Susan and Dawn discuss the benefits of having legal experience and the importance of life experience to provide quality mediation [00:05:00] How does writing a script pertain to mediation? [00:06:00] Dawn and Susan explain the process of finding a mediator and what those steps look like. [00:07:15] How long does mediation take? And guess what, it's not an event, it's a product. [00:09:15] When in the mediation process, Susan and Dawn talk about the benefits of having the two parties separate versus together. Emotions and faces can be triggers for parties involved so what is the best strategy. [00:11:15] Susan asks Dawn about mediation prep and the importance of the client coming with a wishlist of their priorities. The moral of the story is to come prepared. [00:15:15] What are some of the barriers when it comes to mediation? What is appropriate and what is not appropriate. [00:18:00] Dawn talks about the importance of coming to the table being open to the different possibilities available to both parties. She is a big advocate of encouraging the clients to think about other ideas. [00:20:15] What does a restaurant menu have to do with mediation? Dawn uses the food analogy a lot today to help us understand the process. Get ready to hear her discuss what a temporary agreement can look like [00:24:00] Dawn discusses getting to a partial agreement between the two parties. [00:25:15] Susan asks Dawn to discuss the cost of mediation vs the cost of litigating. They discuss the ins and outs to help make an informed decision. [00:29:00] Dawn and Susan cover what are the trends she is encountering right now. Times change and so does the approach to splitting assets, especially in this current market. [00:31:00] He said, she said conversations about divorce terms, do they mean anything? [00:34:15] Before they wrap up, Susan asks Dawn to talk about figuring out alimony and child support, they are 2 very separate things in a divorce agreement. [00:40:30] Parenting plans. So much information to digest before they finish the podcast. This topic has a lot of details to unpack to create a parenting plan. This section will keep you on the edge of your seat for the next 10 minutes. [00:52:45] Family traditions and coming to terms with honoring each parent’s perspective on special days and holidays. QUOTES: Susan Chesnutt: “It's an opportunity to have a neutral person come in and help you discuss the issues and figure out ways to solve them.” Dawn Kirk: “And I, I don't think that people realize that your friends, your relatives, your lawn guy, I mean, everybody's affected one way or the other by this.” Dawn Kirk: “So my role really is to help them write their own script.” Dawn Kirk: “Forget about money for a minute, what's best for the child.” RESOURCES: Susan Chesnutt https://www.thechesnuttlawfirm.com https://www.thechesnuttlawfirm.com/child-custody Dawn Kirk http://www.dawnkirklaw.com/services.html https://www.linkedin.com/in/dawn-kirk-5a6b056a/

SUMMARY: Susan Chesnutt and her special guest Martin Kofsky talk about his recent article that focuses on the rights of grandparents. Martin has been litigating and working in family law for 30 years. Sit back and settle in for some good information and food for thought. HIGHLIGHTS: [00:01:45] The discussion begins with Martin describing his experience with offending and non offending parents and what that means for the rights of the child. [00:03:00] Martin gives an example of a case where the maternal grandparent’s rights of the child were being threatened. The child was cared for by them for 5 years and then the other grandparents attempt to assert control. [00:05:15] What happens when a set of grandparents has never tried to have a relationship with the child? What does the law say or not say in these circumstances? [00:06:15] Susan asks very important questions about the child’s constitutional rights because of the death of a parent and in the care of a grandparent. [00:08:00] Martin and Susan deep dive on a Florida statute as it relates to when a reunification happens and its narrow minded pitfalls. [00:17:30] Martin explains the deployment statute and all that it entails to soldiers and sailors who are parents; the phrase “equal protection” comes into play. Tune in for the intriguing perspective. [00:24:30] Relocation situations are typically never in the child’s best interest. What is the best solution when a former spouse is married to someone in the military and relocation on one side is necessary. You will want to hear more about this topic. [00:26:45] Martin goes through a tough case that will give you context on what the court needs to show when a parent relocates and the other parent wants the children to stay where they are as the primary residence. [00:32:45] Susan asks Martin a hypothetical, if he could write a grandparents right statute, what would it entail? QUOTES: Martin Kofsky: as it pertains to grandparents rights in Florida “The rights are limited when there is a parent who's deceased. There can be some room for a grandparent to have a relationship with the child, but still this, the rights of the surviving parent remain paramount.” Martin Kofsky: “It's easy to identify bruises. It's easy to identify cigarette burns. It's easy to identify strap marks from a belt. It's much harder to identify and quantify the emotional scars that might've been caused by, years of emotional or psychological abuse” Susan Chesnutt: in regard to dependency statute in Florida: “When you said that the statutes were hypocritical, is that the dependency statute on the grandparents rights goes so far to say that the grandparents should be able to show affection and give gifts and letters from the grandparents or other family.” Susan Chesnutt: “I've read a statistic today that 7% of the children in the United States live with a grandparent or grandparents…To me, that's a big number of kids who are not with their parents, for whatever reason.” Susan Chesnutt: “This has been fantastic. I will say hands down, totally honest, the best conversation I've had about grandparents' rights since I've been a lawyer.” RESOURCES: Susan Chesnutt https://www.thechesnuttlawfirm.com https://www.thechesnuttlawfirm.com/child-custody/ Martin Kofsky https://www.linkedin.com/in/martin-kofsky-55679412/ https://familylawfla.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/Fam-2022-Spring-Issue-3_WEB-FINAL.pdf

Summary: Susan Chesnutt has a heartwarming conversation with Jackie Pilossoph on talking with your children about your divorce. What to say and who to say it to, will help guide you through the tough process. Jackie is an author, former journalist and the creator of Divorce Girls Smiling, a resource for men and women going through the divorce process. HIGHLIGHTS: 02:49 Susan and Jackie dive into what kids are really afraid of when their parents are getting divorced. They talk about the importance of keeping the divorce attorney from becoming the therapist. 05:06 Change. Children and adults have a hard time with change. For example, if the former spouse gets a girlfriend, things can get dicey. 07:00 How do you shield your kids from all of the hard stuff. Tune in for great tips on those situations. 10:56 What are the kids scared about? What stresses them out going back and forth? Jackie will dive into everyday situations that parents and their children will experience. 13:13 I want to listen to you for as long as you need. Jackie talks about the importance of therapy for your children while going through divorce. 16:13 Susan and Jackie discuss how praying and having faith can help your kids and yourself through this difficult time. Jackie touches on her spiritual faith, not religion to guide one along. 18:20 Self esteem and the importance of “pumping up” your kids while going through the divorce process. 19:30 Getting angry? Whoa, yes. Parent’s and their children will get angry before, during and after the divorce. Jackie talks about some useful tools and the importance of expressing their anger. 22:00 Listen in on how to manage receiving legal advice in real time while your sweet kids are within ear shot. Envision being on the phone and receiving disturbing information about sole custody. 25:29 Susan and Jackie talk about the importance of always putting your kids first, especially when dating. Listen to her reaction after reading an article from a guy dating divorced women with children. 28:40 Reassuring your children they were the best decision you ever made is very important. Jackie and Susan talk about how speaking negatively about the other parent affects your children. 31:30 Susan asks Jackie about how her website Divorced Woman Smiling came about and how isolating divorce was for her. This was before social media and texting were a big way of communication. This site is for men too! The session wraps up discussing the many resources Jackie has now, at your fingertips! QUOTES: Jackie Pilossoph: “Number one was there's going to be lots of changes, but here is what is, isn't going to change my love for you. Dad's love for you. Both of those things are constant and are everlasting.” Jackie Pilossoph: “ I want to listen to you for as long as you need. That's another thing you can say to your child.” Susan Chesnutt: “And I don't know when we started asking our kids for permission on our adult decisions, that's not what we're supposed to do, where the adult.” Jackie Pilossoph: “if two people don't respect that the kids come first, then it's never going to work.” Susan Chesnutt: “when you say something negative about the other parent, you're telling your child something negative about themselves because they are half of that person.” RESOURCES Susan Chesnutt: https://www.thechesnuttlawfirm.com Jackie Pilossoph https://www.linkedin.com/in/jackie-pilossoph-0851814/ https://www.divorcedgirlsmiling.com

SUMMARY: Susan Chesnutt and Dr. Alan Blotcky tackle the topic of parental alienation which are behaviors, tactics or strategies that one parent will use to undermine the child's relationship with the other parent.  HIGHLIGHTS:  [00:01:00] Susan introduces Dr. Alan Blotcky who is a clinical and forensic psychologist, a freelance journalist published in USA today, Psychology Today in many other places. He's also an associate professor in the department of psychology at the University of Alabama.  [00:05:00] Dr. Blotcky discusses the difference between legitimate alienation vs “strange moments” when a child does not want to be with the other parent.  [00:08:30] Susan and Alan identify how to determine if the parent is intentionally or unintentionally using alienating behaviors, there are typically multiple things taking place to promote the alienation.  [00:15:30] Alan explains the importance of identifying which is the alienating parent and the next steps that need to take place. He and Susan talk about the Judge’s role and level of education in this area so attorney’s understand what role they need to play.  [00:19:30] Timelines are extremely important when documenting the situation. Pay attention to this section so you know how to do it properly to show clarity. [00:21:30] Parents should not let their kids have decision making power in situations because children do not know what is in their best interest. [00:22:30] Susan asks Alan to discuss the weaponization of children between parents.  [00:27:30] Alan discusses his recent article that highlights these situations even in the celebrity world. Kim and Kanye become an example of weaponization.  QUOTES:  [00:08:30] “Let me say this. I think in, in true cases of parental alienation, the parent, doesn't just do one thing. It's usually a multitude of things, which makes it somewhat easier to diagnose, because if it's just one thing, if a parent just occasionally says something negative about the other parent and is not engaging in any other kind of behavior, then that's sort of the unintended.”  [00:16:00] “Judges will order reunification therapy often. That's not a problem. What they don't do is make sure that the alienating parent has a therapist.”  [00:21:30] “Adults are supposed to be the decision-makers. They're supposed to be the ones with maturity. They're the ones who are, have perspective. Children are children. They are not the ones who have decision-making power. They don't have the power in the family.”  [00:32:00] “Children want to love both parents and feel close to both parents. That's just the natural thing the children want and need. And so if both parents understand that and make sure that that happens, then that's, that's the goal that will make everything easier.”    RESOURCES & LINKS:  Dr. Alan Blotcky  https://www.linkedin.com/in/alan-blotcky-phd-556a3847/  https://twitter.com/ablotcky  https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/alan-blotcky-phd-llc-birmingham-al/400983  https://www.thechesnuttlawfirm.com/parental-alienation/  https://www.thechesnuttlawfirm.com/divorce/

SUMMARY Child welfare attorney Susan Chesnutt’s and Certified Divorce Lending Professional and John Whitbeck discuss mental health and the divorce experience. Buckle up for a lot of helpful information about navigating issues from COVID shots to clients in crisis. ------------------------------ HIGHLIGHTS [01:23] Introduction to John Whitbeck, former professor at the George Mason Law School, practicing attorney in the state of Virginia and has his own podcast called The Mind Itself. [2:45] John discusses his serendipitous way into mental health and how it became his passion. [5:00] Susan and John walk through when clients are either in a crisis, coming out of a crisis or walking into a crisis. [7:15] John explains that mental health as pertains to the law is an imperfect system. So how does it apply to the law in domestic relations? [12:30] Susan and John speak about how they as attorneys build lifelong relationships and use those experiences to help others. [17:15] When parents disparage each other, even if they think their kids don’t hear it, they do. The negative effects of discussing your former spouse. [19:00] Susan and John talk about the death of a relationship and how that grief changes how you co-parent. [22:25) John dives in to addressing special needs or mental illness and what that can look like with making decisions in the best interest of the child. [55:00) John and Susan dig into when co-parents disagree on getting their child vaccinated for COVID. The long-term implications of a parent going rogue and not including the other parent. ------------------------------ QUOTES 20:13 “You remind me that a long time ago, when I first started practicing family law, I had someone literally say to a parent, you do realize that every time that you say something negative, let's just say it was about the father, the mother saying something negative about the father that you are criticizing your child because your child is half of the father.” 1:10:12 “Every judge hates domestic cases. So you, you gotta, you gotta make it worth their, while you gotta pare down your exhibits, they don't need to resolve as many things as you can before you get in there. And if you're gonna, if you have a child or an adult with a mental health issue, really get into what that means and educate that judge.” 1:16:26 “I tell my clients, I am forever a part of your journey. At this moment for the rest of your life, this experience that you have, I am a part of your journey with you and you are part of the journey of my life going forward, right?” ------------------------------ RESOURCES The Chesnutt Law Firm Divorce: https://www.thechesnuttlawfirm.com/divorce/ John Whitbeck, Whitbeck Bennett Family Law Practice:  https://wblaws.com/ https://www.linkedin.com/company/whitbeck-bennett/ Podcast: The Mind Itself https://wblaws.com/the-mind-itself-podcast/

SUMMARY Child welfare attorney Susan Chesnutt and Certified Divorce Lending Professional, Michael Schreiber discuss the options for dividing your biggest asset, your home, during a divorce.  ------------------------------  HIGHLIGHTS [01:14] Introduction to Michael Schreiber and what a CDLP, Certified Divorce Lending Professional, does to help homeowners divide their assets during divorce.  [5:14] Michael explains the 3 options for dividing the marital home  [6:26] Susan and Michael discuss the things that people need to be aware of to qualify for a mortgage when getting a divorce and dividing their assets.  [12:58] Michael explains how debt to income ratio works and how it impacts how you qualify for a mortgage with a bank.  [18:20] Michael talks about getting creative with QDRO’s – Qualified Domestic Relations Orders – which are used to divide and pay out retirement assets.  [22:30] Michael and Susan discuss the possibility of refinancing a VA loan during the divorce process.  [27:10] Michael describes reverse mortgages and how they can be leveraged during divorce.  [29:30) Michael shares information about the Divorce Lending Association and the tools that they offer families that are getting divorced. [40:00) Susan shares stories about challenging divorce scenarios when families were struggling with their options to sell and buy new homes. Michael provides insight and commentary into each situation.  ------------------------------  QUOTES 1:29“I am proud to say that I am a certified divorce lending professional, which is a designation held by less than 1% of mortgage professionals.”  5:17 “So essentially when it comes to the marital home, there are three options: One is you sell the marital home, split the proceeds, two - You buy out the equity in your spouse's interest in the home, or three is the reverse. Your spouse buys out your equity interest in the home.”  6:30“Qualified income is your employment income, your retirement income, your pension income, social security, or disability income. Those are the obvious things. And typically a lender's going to look for at least two years of proof of that. You've had that income and then where the divorce comes into play is supporting.And that's a big deal because a lot of people do qualify based on alimony and or child support. The trick is that you have to show stability of that income and continuance.”  10:00 “So what happens is an underwriter needs to show a paper trail because money is put into a joint account.It's really hard to see that it came from the soon to be ex-spouse, it's meant to go to the person who's applying for the mortgage of proving that. And a lot of times it's hard to get cooperation from the soon to be ex, Hey, we need to show your bank account that shows this money came out and it's the amount for support and it's much, much easier when you open your own bank account, have that support put right into that account, easy peasy for a tracking purposes.” 19:38 “What you want to do is first of all, make sure of your debt-to-income ratios net, make sure of your credit score. Absolutely get pre-qualified and most important is I've said a few times, make sure you surround yourself with a good team that not only has your best interest at heart and is talented, but also that's compassionate and understands your goals.” 40:00 “My job is to be honest with you and say, this is what you can do. Here's your options or. This is what you can't do. And sometimes, that's the hard answer, but again, the last thing we want to do is set anyone up for problems down the road. You have to know that you can afford what it is you're trying to do.  ------------------------------  RESOURCES The Chesnutt Law Firm: https://www.thechesnuttlawfirm.com/ The Che

SUMMARY: Child welfare attorney Susan Chesnutt’s and Gerry (Gerald) Glynn discuss the foster care system, the good, the bad and the ugly. There is always more to the story and the story usually doesn’t get seen by the outside world. Gerry is the Chief Legal Officer for Embrace Families a non-profit organization managing foster care in and around Orlando, FL. Prior to joining Embrace Families, Gerry represented children and families as a lawyer for over twenty years. ------------------------------ HIGHLIGHTS [0:11] You do not hear much in the news about the foster care system because that whole court is confidential which makes it tough for the public to understand. Only the most severe cases make it into the mainstream media. [2:50] Susan asks Gerry to tell his story about how he ended up on the dark side. [4:42] Gerry discusses the way things were early in his career when teens turned 18 in the foster care system and were essentially kicked out with no help. As a result, he championed legislative reform. [6:25] Gerry gets into his own teens transitioning out of the household at 18 and what that looks like with his organization preparing foster children for next steps. [8:17] Susan asks Gerry to discuss the many agencies he works with and how those agencies are intertwined. For example, the agency for persons with disabilities and the department of juvenile justice. [10:28] Due to Florida having low taxable income, the fall out is not having enough resources for the families that are struggling, either due to a disabled child or adults with developmental disabilities. He also tackles the Medicaid problem in Florida. [12:22] When parents do amazing work with challenging kids, there is always a breaking point. Gerry talks about how good families end up with their children in foster care. It will break your heart. [14:20] Gerry will speak about the waiting lists for assistance and how his organization works to bridge the gap with advocates and community partnerships. [16:07] When “incorrigible children” need support from the Department of Juvenile Justice, again Gerry’s organization steps in to bridge the gap to help these children. He explains further the role of the DJJ and its pitfalls and intentions that ultimately can lead to a child in foster care. [19:33] Listen in as Gerry does a deep dive into the whole process for teens in foster care and what they are focused on to help them become success and happy adults. Buckle your seat belt for a lot of information on drivers’ licenses, insurance and getting kids able to drive. [24:48] How obtaining a learners permit for a kid in foster care is getting easier, but still not where it needs to be. [26:55] Tackling the legislature to allow foster kids access to drivers’ education. And what happens if you are in a group home situation, who has a car for you to practice your driving skills? [33:37). Susan asks Gerry to discuss the National Association of Council for children and how they are advocates for the rights of children. Get ready for a deep dive. Gerry used to be on the board of this organization. [00:37:26] Susan and Gerry get into the specifics before wrapping up the interview, talking about attorneys that represent the children vs guardian’s ad litem being assigned. ------------------------------ QUOTES (5) [0:005:50] “I can't say this happens to all the children in the state of [00:05:50] Florida, but we do everything we can to prepare youth, but more importantly, 18 is not a big deal. As [00:06:00] I often say 18 should their 18th birthday should be.” [0:00:8:06] “But 60 to 70% of them are going to go back to that home. So we have to [00:08:10] strengthen that home. And so we need to continue to improve innovative programs to support those families as we

SUMMARY In a continuing effort to raise awareness about human trafficking, Child Welfare Attorney Susan Chesnutt interviews Kristy Norbert of the Empower Her Network.  Kristy talks about her organizations mission to help survivors of human trafficking.  The Empower Her Network raises funds and supports survivors in finding a path to personal growth and success. ------------------------------ HIGHLIGHTS [00:56] Susan introduces Kristy Norbert from the Empower Her Network and what her motivation was to start it. [07:23] Kristy describes the things that her organization aims to do with everyone who comes to them for help. [17:10] Kristy goes over the details and timeline of the empowerment plan for previously trafficked people. [25:36] Kristy talks about success stories of people who have come out of her program. [34:59] What do some alumni of the program go on to do? [43:28] Kristy explains how you can get involved with helping trafficked people and with the Empower Her Network. [47:52] Kristy and Susan discuss the importance of the empower her bracelets and how they got her company started. ------------------------------ QUOTES 2:13 “I can't imagine how oppressed this community must be and the lack of services that must be available. So I actually started by running an organization in Southeast Asia, finding out about human trafficking there. That first was my aha moment.” 14:50 “Housing is a huge barrier. Imagine someone that's trafficked has no credit or really bad credit. Sometimes many times they have a criminal record due to their trafficking experience.” 28:36  “How was your sleep? In your first apartment? And she said, I kept on waking up and pinching myself. And I just couldn't believe this is my real life. I didn't have to be scared of someone else coming in.” 36:20  “I don't actually know how to trust a guy after this. What do I do? When do I disclose my trafficking? So we try to listen at all levels of Empower Her Network to what are they saying.” 52:22 “People are trying to buy and sell the same commodity as they call it, the human being over and over again for their profits. And they're doing it successfully.” ------------------------------ RESOURCES Chesnutt Law-Firm Website: https://www.thechesnuttlawfirm.com/about/ Chesnutt Law-Firm Website Sex Crimes Page: https://www.thechesnuttlawfirm.com/sex-crimes/ Empower Her Network Website: https://www.empowerhernetwork.org/ The NoVo Foundation: https://movetoendviolence.org/our-story/novo-foundation/

SUMMARY This is child welfare attorney Susan Chesnutt’s second interview with parenting expert Sue Dockerill from the Florida Divorce Parenting Class.  In this episode we learn about parenting classes and how they support families going through divorce and child custody challenges.  Sue takes a deep dive into some Co-Parenting challenges like blame, change and dealing with emotions of each person in the family. ------------------------------ HIGHLIGHTS [01:03] Sue Dockerill reintroduces herself and talks about her program and what it does for co-parents. [11:40] Sue explains what her new parenting 202 class is and how it can further help co-parents after the 101 class. [25:49] How do parents interact in the 202 class? [33:31] Sue goes over how she gets parents that have divorced to come together to help their child. [45:56] How do parents respond to the program as a whole? [51:36] Sue and Susan discuss the meaning of the words respect and responsibility. ------------------------------ QUOTES [2:52]  “When people are in the angry stage, that's usually when they pick up the phone and call the attorney and nobody's home up there, they're justhurt and they're raw.” [17:47] “Parenting can be so much fun when you take out all of that anger and just start managing promises. That's really all it is.” [38:38]  “I think because I'm in teaching parenting classes that I have to  look at everybody like my family. So, when I'm teaching co-parenting 202,they're like kids, they're watching you and I love each one of them. I don't pick favorites.” [44:48]  “We’ve got kids that are resilient.  That resiliency is going to come when we put the problems back on our kids and we allow them to solve their own problems and stop blaming the other parent.” [54:40]  “You couldn't kick some more change in when you were married to them. You're not going to fix them or change them when you're not married to them, but you can change yourself.” ------------------------------ RESOURCES The Chesnutt LawFirm: https://www.thechesnuttlawfirm.com/about/ The Chesnutt LawFirm Parenting Plan Info: https://www.thechesnuttlawfirm.com/parenting-plan-lawyer/ Life Works Parenting Tools: https://www.floridadivorceparentingclass.com/

SUMMARY Susan’s guest today is Tara McDonald she is a behavioral health technician. She has experience in the substance abuse recovery field. Tara shares her views and experiences regarding addiction and the most effective treatments from her perspective. Most of her views have been shaped by her personal experience with addiction and through providing help and guidance for others. ------------------------------ HIGHLIGHTS [01:01] Susan introduces Tara McDonald who is a drug addiction recovery specialist, and she talks about her job and reasons for doing it. [07:01] Tara talks about the causes of addiction and how addiction keeps persisting due to ignorance. [16:15] Tara goes over her traumatic beginnings and her life before she stopped doing drugs and drinking. [26:55] Tara explains how she got out of addiction and became a recovery specialist for Team Success. [35:49] Tara discusses the Team Success Homelessness outreach program and its importance. [51:39] Tara describes how she and Team Success helps homeless children. ------------------------------ QUOTES [5:06]   “If I'm working at McDonald's and I can't get my rent, I will end up homeless again. I'm going to go back to using once I go back to using, it's just going to get worse.” [25:12] “I know the old AA saying you don't change your attitude. I'm a firm believer that a change in the attitude along with a change of latitude can go a long way.” [29:51]  “But we do this thing where we think we’re normal. We just assume everybody else is high and that carries on into  addiction. We assume that what we're going through, everybody else knows about.” [47:14] “These people are not continuing in treatment because you're freaking them out because you're giving them a new casemanager every couple of months.” [56:10] “You're allowed to slip and fall, just fall forward. You're allowed to slip and fall and pick up the phone and call and tell somebody.” ------------------------------ RESOURCES Team Success: Phone- (772)-236-7770 Team Success Website-https://www.teamsuccessschools.org/ Florida Department of Children and Families(DCF): https://www.myflfamilies.com/ The Chesnutt LawFirm :https://www.thechesnuttlawfirm.com/about/ The Chesnutt Law Firm WebDrug and Alcohol OffensesInfo: https://www.thechesnuttlawfirm.com/drug-alcohol-offenses/

SUMMARY Dr. Hackford has been active in education as a teacher in the School District of Indian River County. After earning her Ph.D. her heart was moved to give back to the community by helping and supporting needy children through the nonprofit Love to Serve.  In this podcast, she will share her journey to the present and the special impact her nonprofit is having on children in Indian River County. ------------------------------ HIGHLIGHTS [00:56] Susan introduces Dr. Amanda Hackford and she talks about her non-profit Love to Serve. [07:04] Dr. Hackford describes how it is best to talk to children having a rough time in their life. [21:54] Dr. Hackford goes over the importance of all non-profits and how they help her organization. [27:20] How does Love to Serve help kids that have aged out of the foster care program? [37:18] Dr. Hackford talks about her program that help senior citizens in need. [38:44] How and when can you help Love to Serve in their next projects and how can you contact them? ------------------------------ QUOTES [6:37] “If you really want to help, if you really want to know, ask questions that are more important to really dig deeper and , even little questions that are open-ended.” [13:00] “If you have a uniform or socks or underwear, and they are still in. You grow out of them, but they're still in good condition. That's what you give. Just because these people don't have a home doesn't mean they don't have dignity. So that's what you give to these people.” [31:14] “When you go out on your own there's expenses that you have, and if you're not even out of high school and you have been in a foster shelter, where does that stuff come from? People like us.” [35:38] “Someone will say something to me like, oh gosh, those kids are horrible. Or why help them? And my first thoughts are, what are you expecting? What are you expecting from them? How do youeven know what some of them have been through or witnessed.” [44:28] “No matter what the giver's ability is, Love to Serve are willing and in need of. From very small items like plastic eggs for gift baskets for Easter, all the way up to large monetary donations for your fishing tournament. So whatever the person's ability to give you have that ability to receive in the need for it.” ------------------------------ RESOURCES Love to Serve - https://www.lovetoserveirc.com/ Phone - (772) 584-1751 Email- lovetoserveirc@gmail.com Love to Serve Facebook- https://www.facebook.com/lovetoserveirc/ Team Success: Phone-https://www.teamsuccessschools.org/ Salvation Army-https://www.salvationarmyusa.org/usn/ CareNet-https://www.care-net.org/ Friends After Diagnosis- https://www.friendsafterdiagnosis.com/ Hibiscus Children’s Center-https://hibiscuschildrenscenter.org/programs-svcs/hibiscus-childrens-village/ Hope for Families: https://hopeforfamilies.org/ The Chesnutt Law Firm-  https://www.thechesnuttlawfirm.com/about/ The Chesnutt Law Firm Parenting Plan Info- https://www.thechesnuttlawfirm.com/parenting-plan-lawyer/ 

SUMMARY In this episode, child welfare attorney Susan Chesnutt interviews Tara Wright, the executive director of a Non-Profit organization called the Buggy Bunch. They discuss how The Buggy Bunch helps mothers become better parents to their babies. She also discusses the Diaper Closet program that helps homeless moms provide basic necessities to their children. ------------------------------ HIGHLIGHTS [00:30] Susan introduces Tara Wright who talks about The Buggy Bunch program and explains what they do. [02:35] Tara describes what The Diaper Closet program is and how it helps people. [06:01] What else can The Buggy Bunch help with? [09:05] Tara talks about how The Buggy Bunch supports children that come directly to them for help. [15:02] Tara explains the newest developments in the organization and there global approach to supporting the community. [18:50] Tara reviews the importance of establishing a personal relationship with everyone that comes through their door. ------------------------------ QUOTES 2:20 “It doesn't matter what your faith is. What your belief system, your background, your marital status, your sexual orientation. That is not our concern. We are interested in building relationships and supporting moms in Indian River County.” 6:28 “One of the greatest needs in our area that we see outside of the diaper wipes and formula, support that we can offer is housing. Housing is a tremendous struggle in our community for reasonable quality, quality housing.” 10:33 “We’re trying to remind these mothers that they are the primary educator of their child from the moment they're born, they are their first and primary educator.” 17:54 “We are a very small staff and when you contact us, whether it's through our website or our phone, you're going to be greeted by a very warm, caring staff.” ------------------------------ RESOURCES Furniture Chesnutt Law-Firm Website: https://www.thechesnuttlawfirm.com/about/ Chesnutt Law-Firm Website Divorce Plan Page: https://www.thechesnuttlawfirm.com/divorce/ The Buggy Bunch Website: https://www.thebuggybunch.com/ Buggy Bunch Phone: (772) 266-0066 Buggy Bunch Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheBuggyBunch/ Vero Furniture Mart: https://catalog.findyourfurniture.com/dealer/vero-furniture-mart-inc/8586 United Way : https://www.unitedway.org/

SUMMARY In this episode, child welfare attorney Susan Chesnutt interviews Alliance Bernstein Vice-President Aisha Ali about wealth management. They discuss ways to align your financial management with your life goals and ways to set financial goals through the divorce process. ------------------------------ HIGHLIGHTS [01:03] Susan introduces Aisha Ali who talks about her job as a wealth manager and how she helps people manage their money. [02:08] Aisha talks about how she can help the divorce process. [08:56] Aisha explains trends in the market and how you should look at investing during the pandemic. [13:52] Aisha shares tips on how to money manage regarding your family’s future. [24:03] Aisha goes through Alliance Bernstein’s process when they meet a new client. [30:16] Aisha explains how she gets to have a relationship with her clients and loves helping them. ------------------------------ QUOTES 2:31 “One of the things that we've seen arise during the divorce process is really having clients not know how much money they should offer for settlements and how much money clients should take for settlements.” 5:26 “So when we're looking at the analysis, let's take a recent divorcee and say ,what are her goals? She wants to make sure she has enough money to put a down payment on a new house. She wants to make sure her children are able to go to college paid for.” 13:11 “When we look forward though, the real economy still needs a lot of help and it needs support.” 21:11  “However, successful you may be in the future and for people who've only known you as successful, and that would be your children if you have been able to mass that before they were born, it can be hard for them to understand why you look at money and you treat it so differently than they do.” 29:40 “I like to tell people that I am not the investment expert. What's great about Bernstein is we have an entire team that works on building and crafting your portfolios.” ------------------------------ RESOURCES Chesnutt Law-Firm Website: https://www.thechesnuttlawfirm.com/about/ Chesnutt Law-Firm Website Divorce Planning: https://www.thechesnuttlawfirm.com/divorce/ Alliance Bernstein Wealth and Management: https://www.alliancebernstein.com/ Aisha Ali: (564)-820-2182 Email: aisha.ali@bernstein.com

SUMMARY Child welfare attorney Susan Chesnutt talks to communication expert Deborah Johnson about key factors in preparing clients to testify in family law court and depositions.  In this episode, witnesses will learn how to take control of the process and speak with confidence about their case. Deborah Johnson owns a company called High Stakes Communication that works with witnesses in big trials to help them be more confident so they can get their truth to the judge and jury. She and Susan talk about her methods and stories she uses to get this done. They also discuss how witnesses in different types of cases feel before a trial and how they can keep their emotions in check. ------------------------------ HIGHLIGHTS [01:17] Susan introduces Deborah Johnson and she explains what she does and how she works with witnesses. [10:33] Deborah explains how what she does helps attorneys when they question witnesses. [20:33] Deborah describes the difference between a deposition and trial. [30:56] Deborah talks about specific methods she uses to help witnesses become more confident. [37:57] Deborah shares some stories and metaphors to think about that will help you be more confident. [42:45] Why do some witnesses feel so nervous or scared and what makes them trigger? [47:39] Deborah explains why she can help lawyers and witnesses. ------------------------------ QUOTES 4:00  “They could have a great case, but if you've got a witness that's a problem, the case could go down the tubes.” 17:42  “You're not talking to the attorney, you're talking to the judge, so don't pay any attention to the attorney. Literally look through them as though they’re a ghost.” 33:11  “Everybody wants to document things on their phone, and as much as I love technology, we break our phones, we lose it we don't pay our iTunes, iCloud bill, we don't get our stuff uploaded. It needs to be in a paper form.” 47:08  “You go find the heart of the witness and have them explore that and have them put it on paper and have them stand up and talk about who they are and how they got that way.” 32:58 “If the judge can't hear them through their pain or their sorrow or their anger, there is no justice, and I'm not an attorney, but that's what makes me crazy, and so that's the work that I do.” ------------------------------ RESOURCES Chesnutt Law-Firm Website: https://www.thechesnuttlawfirm.com/about/ Deborah Johnson: (609) 216-0049 Email: deborah@high-stakescommunication.com High Stakes Communication: http://www.high-stakescommunication.com/ American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers: https://aaml.org/

SUMMARY Child welfare attorney Susan Chesnutt interviews parenting expert Sue Dockerill from the Florida Divorce Parenting Class.  In this off the cuff conversation, we learn about parenting styles and using responsible love to nurture and grow relationships.  They also discuss our countries divisive political state and positive ways to deal with the outcome of this historic election. ------------------------------ HIGHLIGHTS [00:01:03] Susan introduces Sue Dockerill and she explains a little of what she does and her beliefs on why so many marriages are crashing right now. [00:15:47] Sue explains the difference between responsible love and unconditional love and how each can help a marriage. [00:22:33] Sue shares her beliefs on how parents should care for their children during divorce. [00:41:12] When do you tell small children the whole truth about the world right now? [00:46:08] Sue describes an effective reward system for children. [00:53:42] Sue goes into more detail about what she does for marriages. [01:09:42] Sue talks about how she believes everyone should live their life with joy at all times. ------------------------------ QUOTES 14:03 “The only way we're going to teach unconditional love is if we parent our children that way, imagine a world where no matter what happens to the children, they have a soft place to land.” 30:37 “The kid that's being the bully at school he's the one we need to feel sorry for.” 44:27 “But what happens now? Because we're so divided by parties, one party is just pulling the other person down and it's really crazy because we're not getting focused on the solutions to our problems.” 1:00:39  “Why can't we just lower the bar a little bit and realize that the divorce is a solution. You get to draw the line in the sand of what you're going to put up with and what you're not. But now that you're going apart, why keep bringing up the painful story?” 1:12:10  “I think we all need to start really living for joy and so one of the things I would say to anybody that's really struggling is when is the last time you did something nice for yourself?” ------------------------------ RESOURCES Florida Divorce Parenting Class Website: https://www.floridadivorceparentingclass.com/ https://www.thechesnuttlawfirm.com/about/ https://www.thechesnuttlawfirm.com/divorce/ https://www.thechesnuttlawfirm.com/parenting-plan-lawyer/ https://www.thechesnuttlawfirm.com/parental-alienation/