The Hardcore Self-Help Podcast with Duff the Psych

Friends, welcome back to the Hardcore Self Help Podcast. This is my first interview back after a bit of a journey. I thought there was no better way to kick off this next phase of the podcast than by introducing you to a friend and brilliant human that I met in the interim. Dr. Amy Andrea Martinez is a professor of sociology with a focus on Chicano gang culture, incarceration, and abolition. She is a total badass, and she gets vulnerable about her experiences in this conversation. We discuss how her younger brother's arrest, the development of her identity as a Xicana woman, her experiences with depression and suicidality, and her decision to build armor around her heart this year before diving back into the heart of academia and book-writing. I really hope you enjoy this one. In this conversation, Dr. Martinez mentions this book: https://www.amazon.com/AM-Club-Morning-Elevate-Life/dp/1443456624 Stay connected: Weekly newsletter: https://robertduff.substack.com  – free tips, Q&A, and community updates. My website: https://duffthepsych.com – articles, resources, and ways to work with me. - Books & guides: https://www.amazon.com/stores/author/B00NDY4THK?ccs_id=5c5cac88-b920-4fc3-809c-f592ad3b55d3 – practical mental-health guides and workbooks. - Instagram: https://instagram.com/duffthepsych – daily insights, behind-the-scenes, and community chats.

Episode Summary: In this deeply personal solo episode, Dr. Duff returns to the mic after a hiatus to share what’s been going on behind the scenes with The Hardcore Self Help Podcast. He opens up about an almost-acquisition of the show by a larger mental health organization—a deal that initially looked promising but ultimately fell through. With transparency and vulnerability, Dr. Duff reflects on the emotional and professional impact of that experience, explains why the podcast paused, and announces the exciting new direction it’s headed in. What You'll Hear In This Episode: Why the podcast went quiet for a while A behind-the-scenes look at the attempted acquisition of the show The emotional and logistical toll of being let down by a potential deal Reflections on past professional disappointments outside of clinical work What’s next: rebranding, new episode formats, and a stronger emphasis on interviews Why connection and personal stories will be the heart of the podcast moving forward Dr. Duff’s renewed commitment to amplifying diverse voices and lived experiences Updates on the “Bipolar Answers” audiobook and Substack content Thoughts on staying consistent while prioritizing quality over quantity Timestamps: 00:00 – 00:52 — Welcome back! What this episode is about 00:52 – 02:00 — The podcast was almost sold—here's how it started 02:00 – 03:26 — Meeting the company, expectations, and initial excitement 03:26 – 06:04 — Multiple meetings and flying out to pitch in person 06:04 – 08:00 — In-person meetings and positive vibes, but no details yet 08:00 – 10:24 — Delays, excuses, and finally: the deal falls through 10:24 – 12:25 — Processing the disappointment and reflecting on past letdowns 12:25 – 13:21 — Token compensation offered, but trust was broken 13:21 – 14:00 — What’s next: staying open to future partnerships 14:00 – 15:22 — New focus: interviews over general Q&A 15:22 – 16:48 — The unique value of human connection in storytelling 16:48 – 17:15 — Rebranding plans and more diverse guest features 17:15 – 18:17 — Finishing the audiobook, editing, and prepping new interviews 18:17 – 19:05 — Where to find Dr. Duff in the meantime and the new YouTube direction Links & Resources: Website: https://duffthepsych.com Email: duffthepsych@gmail.com YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@duffthepsych Instagram: https://instagram.com/duffthepsych Substack: https://robertduff.substack.com Want to Help Relaunch the Show? If you’re excited about the return of the podcast, be sure to subscribe, share the new episodes with your community, and leave a review wherever you listen. Every bit of support helps relaunch this phoenix from the ashes.

In this insightful interview, I’m joined by Marcia Bonato Warren, a trauma-informed body therapist, somatic counselor, interculturalist, and author. Marcia brings over 30 years of experience working with cross-cultural mental health, and she shares a powerful lens on how identity, culture, and trauma intersect in the body. Together, we explore the concept of embodied code switching, how our bodies carry cultural and ancestral imprints, and how healing often involves not just the mind, but movement, sensation, and deep awareness of the self. Marcia discusses her personal journey as a Brazilian and Native American woman navigating multiple cultural worlds—and how her lived experience shaped her professional path and inspired her new book. This episode is a rich blend of personal storytelling, professional insight, and hope for a more connected, empathetic world. Key Discussion Points: Marcia’s multicultural background growing up between Pueblo traditions and Brazilian culture What it means to experience culture somatically when language isn’t accessible The definition and practice of embodied code switching How somatic therapy works and how the body holds trauma, history, and healing Cultural embodiment and the importance of body-based awareness across social, emotional, and environmental realms The internal work of bridging identities that may feel in conflict Intergenerational trauma and healing as a form of cultural resilience Marcia’s new book as a form of protest and empowerment amid sociopolitical turmoil The value of curiosity and reclaiming our sense of wonder Timestamps: 00:00 – Intro to Marcia and her multicultural upbringing 04:30 – Advocating through names and early sense of identity 09:00 – Growing up between cultures and learning through somatic experience 14:00 – Noticing what it feels like to “not belong” in any cultural space 17:00 – The physical experience of fitting in (or not) 20:00 – What is somatic counseling and body-based psychotherapy? 24:00 – Holding multiple identities and forming relationships between them 28:00 – Embodied code switching: definitions and origins 35:00 – Identity, trauma, and resilience in the nervous system 40:00 – Diversity, empathy, and learning across differences 43:30 – Somatics, symbolism, and healing in therapy 47:00 – Marcia’s career in advocacy and transition to therapy 52:00 – Her new book as resistance and hope in a polarized world 58:30 – Book structure, audience, and why it matters now 1:06:00 – Final reflections on curiosity, awareness, and personal power Guest Links: Website: https://www.embodiedculture.com Book Info & Resources: https://www.embodiedcodeswitching.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/marciabonatowarren Buy the Book on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Movement-Identity-Multiculturalism-Awareness-Code-Switching/dp/1839978376 Contact Me: Email: duffthepsych@gmail.com Website: https://duffthepsych.com YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@duffthepsych Instagram: https://instagram.com/duffthepsych If you enjoyed this episode, please consider leaving a review, sharing it with a friend, or tagging me on social to let me know your thoughts. And if Marcia’s story resonated with you, I’d love to hear how this conversation landed.

In this episode, Dr. Duff takes on two powerful listener questions in a raw and compassionate Q&A format. The first question comes from a survivor of extensive childhood abuse, religious trauma, and complex family dynamics, who is wrestling with the decision of whether or not to publish a deeply personal memoir. Dr. Duff dives into the emotional, psychological, and ethical layers of this situation, offering validation, insight, and a heartfelt reminder that healing and storytelling can be acts of empowerment. The second question comes from a newly single parent facing feelings of loneliness and hopelessness after a recent divorce. After a disappointing family trip, they wonder if happiness is still possible in this new chapter of life. Dr. Duff breaks down the process of emotional adjustment, the importance of realistic expectations, and how small steps can lead to renewed hope and connection. As always, this episode is filled with empathy, nuance, and practical encouragement for anyone going through dark or uncertain times. Key Discussion Points The complexities of publishing a memoir about trauma and abuse Understanding the impact of complex PTSD and generational trauma Navigating family threats and estrangement with personal boundaries Grieving the loss of an idealized future after divorce Why happiness doesn’t have to look how you thought it would Tips for finding support and resilience as a single parent The value of community, therapy, and chosen family Timestamps 00:00 – Intro and personal update 03:00 – Content warning for the first question 04:05 – Listener story: Surviving severe childhood abuse and family rejection 07:00 – Dr. Duff reflects on complex PTSD and trauma recovery 08:30 – The power of isolation in abusive systems 10:00 – Complicated dynamics with the listener’s mother 11:30 – Should I publish my book about my trauma? 13:00 – Weighing the risks and benefits of publishing under a pseudonym 14:30 – Standing in your truth despite family pushback 15:00 – Listener story: Facing loneliness and doubt after divorce 16:30 – Grieving the version of life you hoped for 18:00 – Family disappointment and changing dynamics 19:30 – The importance of time and realistic expectations 21:00 – Children often remember things differently than we expect 22:00 – Challenging fatalistic thoughts about the future 23:30 – Modeling resilience and authenticity for your kids 24:30 – Final thoughts and encouragement Mentioned in This Episode Episode 130: Complex PTSD – What It Is and How to Recover YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@duffthepsych More mental health content at: https://www.duffthepsych.com Submit a Question Have a question you'd like answered on the show? Reach out any time: 📧 Email: duffthepsych@gmail.com 🌐 Website: duffthepsych.com 📷 Instagram: instagram.com/duffthepsych 📺 YouTube: youtube.com/@duffthepsych Support the Show If you’ve gotten something out of the podcast and haven’t left a review yet, now’s a perfect time—especially if you’re an Apple Podcasts listener. We're close to hitting 1,000 reviews, and every one helps others find the show and supports the mission of accessible mental health content.

In this episode, I address two deeply personal listener questions that highlight the complex nature of anxiety and emotional healing in relationships. The first question comes from a listener who has struggled with anxiety for most of their life, recently facing severe limitations due to Generalized Anxiety Disorder and medication changes. We talk about the genetic components of anxiety, the risks of benzodiazepines in older adults, and the importance of advocating for the right care—even if that means seeking new providers or considering higher levels of treatment. The second question dives into the emotional fallout after infidelity. A listener is working to rebuild their marriage after their wife’s emotional and physical affairs but finds themselves overwhelmed by anger and trauma in the aftermath. I explore the importance of time, trauma-informed coping strategies, and how rebuilding trust is possible with consistent effort and support. Whether you're dealing with anxiety yourself or navigating complex relationship dynamics, this episode offers validation, practical advice, and hope. Key Discussion Points Question 1: Genetic Anxiety and Benzodiazepines Anxiety can be partially genetic—up to 50% of risk may be inherited. Environmental factors, early life experiences, and chronic stress also play key roles. Long-term anxiety can even change brain structures like the amygdala. Benzodiazepines such as Xanax and Klonopin can be risky for older adults, but abrupt changes in medication are harmful and inappropriate. Importance of finding the right provider—psychiatric care may be more appropriate than primary care in severe cases. Options like partial hospitalization, intensive outpatient programs, or even voluntary hospitalization if suicidal thoughts worsen. Consideration of alternative treatments like TMS, ketamine therapy, EMDR, or comprehensive medical workups. Encouragement and validation that meaningful change is possible—even later in life. Question 2: Healing from Infidelity Emotional and physical infidelity can lead to feelings of inadequacy and intense emotional reactivity. The resurfacing of past wounds during present-day arguments is a trauma response. Healing takes time; both partners must commit to rebuilding trust. Grounding, breathing, and self-regulation tools are essential in emotional moments. Individual therapy and journaling can help process complex feelings and trauma. Couples therapy with a specialist in infidelity recovery can provide structure and support. It's possible to rebuild a stronger relationship—but it takes honest effort from both sides. Timestamps 00:00 – Intro 01:12 – Listener question: Is anxiety genetic? 03:22 – Genetics vs. environment in anxiety development 05:10 – Medication history and benzodiazepine concerns for older adults 08:45 – Advocating for appropriate psychiatric care 12:30 – Suicidal thoughts and higher levels of support 14:50 – Exploring alternative and emerging treatment options 17:15 – Words of encouragement and validation 19:45 – Listener question: Coping with infidelity and feeling inadequate 21:20 – Emotional fallout and trauma from betrayal 24:10 – Regulating emotional responses during arguments 26:00 – The role of time, patience, and couples therapy 28:20 – Journaling and individual processing for long-term healing 31:10 – Rebuilding a stronger relationship after infidelity 33:00 – Closing thoughts and takeaways Resources & Links Website: http://duffthepsych.com Email: duffthepsych@gmail.com YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@duffthepsych Instagram: https://instagram.com/duffthepsych If today’s episode resonated with you, consider leaving a review or sharing it with someone who could use the support. Your stories and questions continue to make this podcast what it is—thank you for being here. Until next time, take care and keep pushing forward. You've got this.

Just a quick update! Back to regularly scheduled programming next week!

Pre-Order Bipolar Answers https://www.amazon.com/Bipolar-Answers-Questions-Answered-Psychologist-ebook/dp/B0F1DW5WQZ/ In this special episode, Dr. Robert Duff announces the pre-order launch of his latest book, Bipolar Answers: Questions from Real People Answered by a Real Psychologist. To celebrate, he provides listeners with an exclusive reading of the book’s introduction and one full chapter, giving a firsthand look at what to expect. This book is built from real questions asked on The Hardcore Self Help Podcast, expanded with deeper insights, case studies, and practical strategies for managing bipolar disorder. Dr. Duff shares details about the book’s structure, how it tackles common misconceptions, and why he felt compelled to write it. He also reads a powerful chapter about navigating college after a bipolar episode, offering valuable guidance on advocacy, accommodations, and resilience. Timestamps: [00:00] – Introduction and book announcement: Bipolar Answers is now available for pre-order on Amazon! [02:00] – What the book covers: real questions, practical answers, case studies, and clear explanations. [03:00] – Full reading of the book’s introduction, covering the basics of bipolar disorder, diagnostic criteria, and case study of Olivia, a professional managing bipolar I. [18:00] – Full chapter reading: Navigating college after a bipolar episode. [24:00] – The importance of self-advocacy, understanding accommodations, and legal rights for students and employees with bipolar disorder. [37:00] – Encouragement and final thoughts: Pre-order now and stay tuned for updates on the print and audiobook releases. Key Takeaways: Bipolar Answers is designed to cut through misinformation and offer real, actionable advice. Bipolar disorder is complex and often misunderstood—this book provides a clear and stigma-free breakdown. Returning to school or work after a bipolar episode can be daunting, but knowing your rights and advocating for yourself can make all the difference. The book includes real-life examples, diagnostic clarifications, and practical tools for individuals living with bipolar and those supporting them. Connect with Dr. Robert Duff: Website: https://www.duffthepsych.com Email: duffthepsych@gmail.com YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@duffthepsych Instagram: https://instagram.com/duffthepsych If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with someone who might find it helpful! Your support means the world.

Episode 433: Navigating PTSD Triggers & Overcoming Shame In this episode of The Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I tackle two listener questions related to PTSD, trauma, and the emotional challenges that come with them. The first question is from someone who is deeply affected by their environment, living in a house that serves as a constant PTSD trigger. They want to move forward but feel completely stuck. The second question is about dealing with strong emotional reactions in public and the embarrassment that follows. I offer compassionate, practical advice to help both listeners begin taking steps toward healing and self-acceptance. What We Cover in This Episode: Understanding why trauma responses persist and how they impact daily life The role of avoidance in PTSD and how to begin addressing it Practical strategies for tackling overwhelming life changes How to communicate with a therapist about deeply buried trauma The importance of seeking trauma-informed therapy and possible medication options Exposure techniques for gradually confronting PTSD triggers Journaling as a tool for processing trauma at your own pace Overcoming embarrassment when experiencing emotional reactions in public Using gratitude as a way to shift focus from shame to connection Coping strategies to regulate emotions and build resilience Timestamps: 00:00 – Introduction & request for listener questions 02:00 – Listener question: Living in a house that triggers PTSD 05:00 – Why trauma responses persist and the role of avoidance 10:00 – Communicating openly with a therapist about severe trauma 12:00 – Seeking trauma-informed therapy and medication considerations 16:00 – Making an actionable plan to move forward and sell the house 21:00 – Practical steps to start addressing home repairs and tasks 22:00 – Listener question: Managing PTSD emotional reactions in public 24:00 – Using gratitude to counter feelings of shame and embarrassment 27:00 – Grounding techniques and exposure exercises to build resilience 30:00 – The importance of seeking support from others 32:00 – Closing thoughts & listener engagement request Connect with Me: Email: duffthepsych@gmail.com Website: https://www.duffthepsych.com YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@duffthepsych Instagram: https://instagram.com/duffthepsych If you found this episode helpful, please consider sharing it with someone who might benefit. And as always, take care of yourself!

In this episode of The Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I sit down with the incredible psychotherapist and author, Terri Cole, to discuss high-functioning codependency, boundaries, and how we can break free from people-pleasing tendencies. Terri shares her own journey from working in the entertainment industry to becoming a therapist and how her personal struggles with boundaries led her to specialize in this area. We dive deep into the traits of high-functioning codependency, where it comes from, and actionable steps you can take to create healthier relationships and reclaim your inner peace. What We Cover in This Episode: Terri’s journey from talent agent to psychotherapist Recognizing high-functioning codependency in yourself How childhood and societal expectations shape codependency The role of self-awareness and therapy in breaking codependency patterns Practical tools for overcoming codependent tendencies The importance of setting boundaries and learning to say no How to conduct a resentment inventory and why it’s helpful Addressing difficult family dynamics around social and political issues How Terri’s book, Too Much, can help you break free from codependency Timestamps: 00:00 – Introduction to Terri Cole and her background 01:00 – How Terri transitioned from talent agent to psychotherapist 16:00 – Recognizing high-functioning codependency 25:00 – Childhood & societal influences on codependency 30:00 – The importance of self-awareness and therapy 39:00 – Practical tools for overcoming codependency 42:00 – Navigating difficult family dynamics 49:00 – Setting boundaries and learning to say no 52:00 – Conducting a resentment inventory 58:00 – How Too Much can help you break free Resources Mentioned: Too Much by Terri Cole: https://www.terricole.com High-Functioning Codependency Toolkit: https://www.terricole.com/HFC Mastermind program (Flourish): https://www.terricole.com/flourish Terri’s membership community: https://www.terricole.com/TCM The Terri Cole Show Podcast: https://www.terricole.com/podcast Connect with Me: Email: duffthepsych@gmail.com Website: https://www.duffthepsych.com YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@duffthepsych Instagram: https://instagram.com/duffthepsych If you found this episode helpful, please consider sharing it with someone who might benefit. And as always, take care of yourself!

Episode 431: Pathological Demand Avoidance in Coaching & Persistent Depression Welcome to another episode of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast with Dr. Robert Duff! In this Q&A episode, Dr. Duff tackles two insightful listener questions on very different but equally important mental health topics. Question 1: Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) in Coaching A listener working as an individual sports coach seeks advice on how to best support a talented but highly resistant student who displays signs of Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA). Dr. Duff dives into: What PDA is and how it manifests in individuals, particularly in relation to autism, ADHD, and other neurodivergent conditions. The importance of reframing PDA as a high drive for autonomy rather than defiance. Practical coaching strategies to work around demand avoidance, including collaborative goal setting, offering choices, and making training sessions more engaging and playful. The significance of open-ended questions and genuine curiosity in understanding the root of a student’s resistance. Question 2: Chronic Low-Grade Depression (Persistent Depressive Disorder) A listener describes their struggle with long-term, low-grade depression despite attempts with medication and therapy. Dr. Duff provides insights into: Understanding Persistent Depressive Disorder (formerly known as dysthymia) and how it differs from episodic major depression. Behavioral activation as a treatment approach, including strategies for identifying and engaging in potentially enjoyable activities despite a lack of motivation or pleasure. The five-minute rule to help overcome resistance to activities. Medication considerations, including alternatives like Wellbutrin (bupropion) and the combination drug Auvelity, which may have fewer side effects. Non-medication treatments such as Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS) and ketamine therapy. The importance of evaluating life circumstances to identify external contributors to chronic depression, such as hidden identity struggles or unsatisfying relationships. Chapters [00:00] Intro and updates on Dr. Duff’s upcoming bipolar book [03:00] Question 1: Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) in coaching [12:00] Strategies for engaging students with PDA [14:00] Question 2: Chronic low-grade depression and treatment options [19:00] Behavioral activation and the five-minute rule [23:00] Medication alternatives and non-pharmacological treatments [27:00] Life circumstances and their role in persistent depression [28:00] Outro and listener support requests Resources & Links Dr. Duff’s website: http://duffthepsych.com Email your questions: duffthepsych@gmail.com Follow Dr. Duff on Instagram: https://instagram.com/duffthepsych Dr. Duff’s book “Hardcore Self Help: F**k Depression”: https://www.amazon.com/Hardcore-Self-Help-Depression/dp/B01J4H5A40 Previous episodes on TMS and ketamine treatments: http://duffthepsych.com/podcast More on ketamine treatments: https://duffthepsych.com/ect-and-ketamine/ Thank you for tuning in! If you found this episode helpful, please consider sharing it with a friend or leaving a review. Your support helps the podcast grow and reach more people who need it. See you next time!

Episode 430: Integrative Approaches to Recovery with Dr. Malasri Chaudhery-Malgeri In this episode of The Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I sit down with Dr. Malasri Chaudhery-Malgeri, also known as Dr. Mala, to discuss her integrative approach to addiction recovery, rehabilitation, and mental health treatment. Dr. Mala shares her personal journey that led her into the field, the importance of holistic and individualized treatment, and how she has worked to break down barriers in accessing quality care. What We Cover in This Episode: Dr. Mala’s personal journey into psychology and addiction recovery work The challenges of pushing for integrative mental health care How trauma informed her approach to treatment The importance of cultural competence in mental health and recovery Understanding addiction recovery as a non-linear process The necessity of breaking isolation in the recovery journey The evolving role of virtual therapy and accessibility in mental health care How alternative and holistic approaches such as yoga, meditation, and adventure therapy are valuable in rehabilitation The role of family and loved ones in supporting recovery How to advocate for personalized treatment if current options aren’t working Resources available through Recovery.com for both individuals and families Timestamps: 00:00 – Introduction to Dr. Mala and her background 02:00 – How Dr. Mala entered the field of psychology and recovery 06:00 – Why she emphasizes integrative approaches in treatment 10:00 – Challenges in advocating for a holistic recovery model 12:00 – Misconceptions about addiction and recovery 16:00 – The importance of connection and breaking isolation 21:00 – Alternative therapeutic approaches that work 27:00 – The role of family and community in recovery 33:00 – Steps to take if current treatment isn’t effective 38:00 – Recovery.com and available resources 44:00 – Final words of wisdom for those struggling or supporting a loved one Resources: Recovery.com: https://www.recovery.com State of Recovery 2025: https://recovery.com/news/the-2025-state-of-recovery-5-trends-in-behavioral-health-you-need-to-know-about/ Giving Voice to Depression Podcast: https://www.givingvoicetodepression.com Connect with Dr. Mala: Recovery.com Podcast: https://www.recovery.com/podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/recoverydotcom Connect with Me: Email: duffthepsych@gmail.com Website: https://www.duffthepsych.com YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@duffthepsych Instagram: https://instagram.com/duffthepsych If you found this episode helpful, please consider sharing it with someone who might benefit. And as always, take care of yourself!

In this solo Q&A episode of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I answer two deeply personal and important listener questions. The first comes from a trans man struggling with the impact of anti-LGBTQ+ legislation, fear for his safety, and overwhelming feelings of hopelessness. We talk about tangible ways to navigate the stress of doomscrolling, finding community, and taking back control in uncertain times. The second question dives into the pain of heartbreak—specifically, the loss of a best friend after unrequited love. I discuss how to process grief, handle regret, and move forward when a relationship changes in ways you didn’t expect. Whether you're facing fear, loss, or uncertainty, this episode offers support, validation, and practical steps to help you through it. Chapters: 00:00 — Intro: You Are Seen, You Are Valid 02:00 — Shoutout to the Finch App: A Fun Self-Care Tool 03:00 — Coping with Fear & Uncertainty as a Trans Person in a Hostile Climate 10:30 — Managing Doomscrolling & Social Media Overwhelm 14:00 — The Importance of Community & Seeking Safe Spaces 18:00 — Mental Health Resources & Seeking Support 19:00 — Handling Unrequited Love & The Pain of Heartbreak 22:30 — Why You’re Not to Blame for How Things Changed 24:00 — Navigating Grief & Loss in Relationships 27:30 — The Power of Solo Time & Rebuilding Your Life 29:00 — Closing Thoughts & Next Episode Preview Resources & Links: • Finch App – A self-care companion that makes mental health a little more fun! Download here • Trans Lifeline – www.translifeline.org | (877) 565-8860 • The Trevor Project – www.thetrevorproject.org | Crisis support for LGBTQ+ youth • Find a Therapist – www.psychologytoday.com About the Podcast I’m Dr. Robert Duff, a clinical psychologist and the host of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast. My goal is to break down mental health topics into real, relatable, and actionable advice. Whether it's tackling anxiety, navigating personal challenges, or discussing the latest in psychology, I’m here to help you thrive. Connect With Me: 🌐 Website: www.duffthepsych.com 📷 Instagram: @duffthepsych 🎥 YouTube: Dr. Duff’s Channel 💙 If this episode resonates with you, please rate & review the podcast, and share it with someone who might need it. You are not alone. #MentalHealth #LGBTQSupport #Heartbreak #CopingSkills #SelfCare #Doomscrolling #HardcoreSelfHelp

In today’s episode of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I sit down with world-renowned psychiatrist, author, and DBT expert Dr. Blaise Aguirre to tackle the complex topic of self-hatred. As a pioneer in the treatment of borderline personality disorder (BPD) and adolescent mental health at McLean Hospital, Dr. Aguirre offers a compassionate and illuminating perspective on how self-hatred forms, why it’s so persistent, and how we can work toward healing. Dr. Aguirre explains why self-hatred is often learned early in life through invalidating experiences and abusive environments and why it differs from self-criticism or depression. He introduces practical tools to break free from self-loathing, such as identifying its roots, recognizing toxic relationships, and taking steps to separate identity from these damaging beliefs. We also discuss the challenges of treating patients with self-hatred, the transformative power of dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), and how his latest book, I Hate Myself, provides a groundbreaking resource for those suffering from this deeply ingrained struggle. If you’ve ever wrestled with feelings of unworthiness or struggled to overcome negative beliefs about yourself, this episode is packed with strategies, hope, and actionable advice to help you move toward a healthier relationship with yourself. Chapters: 00:15 — Introduction: Meet Dr. Blaise Aguirre 02:00 — From Philosophy to Psychiatry: Dr. Aguirre’s Career Path 07:30 — Understanding Self-Hatred: How It Develops and Why It Persists 15:00 — The Role of Validation in Parenting and Mental Health 20:45 — The DBT Approach: Why Skills-Based Therapy Works for BPD and Self-Hatred 27:00 — Breaking Down Self-Hatred: Separating It from the Self 34:20 — Overcoming Self-Hatred: Practical Tools and Steps for Healing 40:15 — The Importance of Compassionate Treatment in Mental Health Care 45:00 — A Sneak Peek Into I Hate Myself 50:20 — What Parents and Caregivers Need to Know 57:00 — Dr. Aguirre’s Final Thoughts on Healing and Hope About the Podcast I’m Dr. Robert Duff, a clinical psychologist and the host of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast. My mission is to break down complex mental health topics into relatable, actionable advice. On this podcast, we dive deep into mental health, personal development, and the strategies that help us thrive. Each episode features expert interviews, practical tips, and answers to listener questions, all designed to help you live a healthier, more fulfilled life. Guest Links: Dr. Blaise Aguirre’s Website: www.IHateMyselfBook.com Learn More About DBT: McLean Hospital’s DBT Program I Hate Myself: Dr. Aguirre’s Latest Book (Coming February 2025) Connect With Me: Website: duffthepsych.com Instagram: @duffthepsych YouTube: Dr. Duff’s Channel Sponsored By: This episode is brought to you by NoCD, a leading provider of virtual therapy for obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). If intrusive thoughts and compulsions are impacting your daily life, NoCD offers specialized Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) therapy. To learn more about OCD and how NOCD Therapy can help, visit http://learn.nocd.com/hardcore. Hope you find this conversation as inspiring and thought-provoking as I did! Don’t forget to share your thoughts and takeaways in the comments. Tags: #MentalHealth #SelfHatred #BlaiseAguirre #DBT #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #SelfCompassion #TraumaHealing #Parenting #Mindfulness #SelfHelp

In this special episode of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I lead you through a guided meditation designed to help you let go of mental burdens and find focus in an overwhelming world. Using visualization techniques and intentional breathing exercises, this meditation offers a space to acknowledge your stressors, release tension, and tap into a feeling of calm and clarity. This experience is set in a vivid mindscape of space, where you can imagine yourself aboard a futuristic spacecraft, surrounded by the beauty of the cosmos. Together, we’ll navigate through moments of recognition, release, and rejuvenation. By the end of this session, you’ll feel more centered and grounded, with a renewed connection to how you’d like to move forward. Whether you’re a seasoned meditator or new to mindfulness, this episode is a judgment-free zone to focus on yourself. Bookmark it to return to anytime you need a mental reset. Sponsor This episode is brought to you by NOCD, a leading provider of virtual therapy for obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). If you’re stuck in cycles of overthinking, compulsive behaviors, or intrusive thoughts, NOCD offers specialized treatment using Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP)—a gold-standard therapy for OCD. They provide virtual sessions with licensed therapists, accept many major insurance plans, and offer support between sessions to make treatment as accessible as possible. To learn more about OCD and how NOCD Therapy can help, visit http://learn.nocd.com/hardcore. For more insights on OCD and ERP, check out my interview with Dr. Patrick McGrath in episode 406 of this podcast. Chapters: 00:15 — Introduction: Why This Meditation Matters 03:00 — Sponsor: NOCD – Treatment for OCD Symptoms 04:30 — Setting the Scene: Guided Visualization in Space 08:00 — Acknowledging and Offloading Mental Burdens 13:00 — Breathing for Release: Techniques to Let Go 17:00 — Choosing Your Focus and Setting Your Intention 19:30 — Relaxation Breathing and Body Scan 25:00 — Final Reflections and Letting the Experience Settle About the Podcast I’m Dr. Robert Duff, a clinical psychologist and host of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast. My mission is to make mental health topics relatable and actionable. Whether through guided meditations like this one, Q&A sessions, or expert interviews, I aim to help you navigate life’s challenges with clarity and confidence. Connect With Me: Website: https://duffthepsych.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/duffthepsych YouTube: https://youtube.com/duffthepsych Hashtags: #GuidedMeditation #Mindfulness #MentalHealth #Relaxation #StressRelief #SelfHelp

In this inspiring episode of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I sit down with Dr. Jordan Grumet, a hospice director, author, and podcast host, to explore how we can transform our lives by embracing the concept of “little p purpose.” Dr. Grumet shares insights from his latest book, The Purpose Code, which offers actionable strategies to uncover and build a meaningful life, regardless of your circumstances. Our conversation dives deep into the difference between “big P Purpose” (society’s lofty, often unattainable ideals) and “little p purpose” (daily actions that bring joy and meaning). Dr. Grumet shares his personal journey—from losing his father at a young age to becoming a physician driven by unresolved trauma, to ultimately finding fulfillment by pursuing his passions for writing, speaking, and connecting with others. Key takeaways from our discussion include practical ways to recognize your purpose anchors, how to turn regrets into motivations, and why pursuing joy in small, intentional ways can lead to profound impact and lasting legacy. We also explore how Dr. Grumet’s work in hospice has shaped his understanding of what truly matters in life, highlighting lessons from those at the end of their journeys. This episode is packed with wisdom for anyone feeling stuck, searching for meaning, or simply looking to live with more intentionality and joy. Sponsor This episode is brought to you by NOCD, a leading provider of virtual therapy for obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). If you're caught in an endless loop of “what-ifs” or struggling with obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviors, NOCD offers specialized, evidence-based therapy designed just for OCD—Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP). They accept many major insurance plans, making it accessible and affordable, with support available between therapy sessions. To learn more about OCD and how NOCD Therapy can help, visit http://learn.nocd.com/hardcore. Plus, check out my interview with Dr. Patrick McGrath, NOCD’s Chief Clinical Officer, on episode 406 of this podcast to learn more about OCD and their approach. Chapters: 00:15 — Introduction: Meet Dr. Jordan Grumet 02:00 — Finding Purpose After Loss: Dr. Grumet’s Early Life 06:15 — Purpose Anchors: Joyful Work vs. Goal-Oriented Burnout 10:45 — Lessons from the Hospice Life Review 16:30 — Regrets of the Dying: Turning Regret into Action 20:00 — Building Purpose When You Feel Stuck 24:15 — Tools and Levers: Joy of Addition and Art of Subtraction 30:00 — The Difference Between Meaning and Purpose 37:00 — How Small Joys Create Big Impact and Legacy 44:15 — Practical Steps to Start Building a Purposeful Life 50:30 — Final Takeaways: Finding Your Purpose Anchors About the Podcast I’m Dr. Robert Duff, a clinical psychologist and the host of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast. My mission is to break down complex mental health topics into relatable, actionable advice. Each episode dives deep into mental health, personal development, and strategies for living authentically and fulfilling your potential. Guest Links Dr. Grumet’s Website: https://jordangrumet.com The Purpose Code: https://jordangrumet.com/books Podcast: https://www.earnandinvest.com/episodes Connect With Me: Website: https://duffthepsych.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/duffthepsych YouTube: https://youtube.com/duffthepsych #MentalHealth #Purpose #PersonalDevelopment #Legacy #SelfHelp #Mindfulness

In today’s year-end wrap-up episode of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast (Episode 425), I reflect on 2024 and reveal my guiding word for 2025. Instead of traditional New Year’s resolutions, I choose a single word each year to serve as a focal point and inspiration. I revisit last year’s word—Connection—and discuss what worked well, like strengthening family bonds and growing professionally through clinical supervision and podcast interviews, as well as what didn’t go as planned (like making new friends or achieving full Spanish fluency). These reflections highlight how intentions can guide growth in unexpected ways. Looking ahead to 2025, my new word is Mend. From addressing health issues to repairing lingering logistical and financial tasks, I want to focus on making what I already have stronger and more sustainable, rather than building from scratch. This year’s theme is about restoring, improving, and taking care of what’s important in my personal life, home, and professional endeavors—including the podcast and Duff the Psych projects. Join me as I wrap up 2024, share my aspirations for 2025, and encourage you to reflect on your own values, accomplishments, and future direction. Thank you for another year of support and attention. I’ll see you in 2025! Chapters: 00:00 — Reflecting on Another Year: Gratitude & Long-Term Listeners 01:00 — Beyond Resolutions: Choosing a Guiding Word Each Year 03:00 — Reviewing 2024’s Word “Connection”: Wins, Misses & Insights 05:00 — Personal Highlights: Family Bonding, Board Games & Quality Time 09:00 — Professional Growth: Clinical Supervision, Networking & Interviews 11:00 — Language Ambitions: Progress in Spanish, But Not Fluent Yet 13:00 — Introducing 2025’s Word: “Mend” 14:00 — Repairing & Improving: Health, Home Projects & Finances 16:00 — Podcast & Brand Updates: Refining Instead of Expanding 18:00 — Final Thoughts: Entering 2025 with Intention & Flexibility About the Podcast I’m Dr. Robert Duff, a clinical psychologist aiming to make mental health more accessible. On the Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I break down complex psychological concepts, share actionable tips, and provide relatable advice to help you live a healthier, more fulfilled life. Whether through solo episodes, interviews, or listener Q&A, my goal is to support your mental well-being without unnecessary jargon. Connect With Me: Website: https://www.duffthepsych.com/ Contact: https://www.duffthepsych.com/contact Email: duffthepsych@gmail.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/duffthepsych/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/DuffThePsych #MentalHealth #SelfHelp #PersonalDevelopment #Mindfulness #NewYear #Goals #Intention #Reflection #Podcast

In this solo Q&A episode of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast (Episode 424), I tackle two listener questions that address challenging mental health scenarios. The first question delves into the concept of antidepressant-associated chronic irritable dysphoria (ACID), a proposed condition rather than a formally recognized diagnosis, and the potential long-term effects of antidepressants in the context of bipolar disorder. I break down the limited research behind ACID, emphasize the importance of comprehensive care, and acknowledge the frustration that can arise when medications seem to worsen symptoms instead of helping. The second question focuses on waking up early with irritability and racing thoughts. I provide practical strategies like pre-bed journaling to offload worries, identifying actionable steps for lingering concerns, and creating a calming buffer before sleep. I also discuss the importance of reexamining one’s work environment, considering meaningful changes, and finding fulfillment outside of a stressful job. Throughout the episode, I offer insights on self-advocacy, exploring alternative treatments, and laying the groundwork to regain a sense of control in your daily life. Chapters: 00:15 — Introduction: Needing More Questions & Holiday Scheduling 02:00 — ACID Explained: A Proposed Condition, Not a Formal Diagnosis 08:00 — Bipolar Disorder & Antidepressants: Complex Interactions and Research Gaps 11:00 — Frustration with Care: Inadequate Guidance and Long-Term Medication Issues 14:00 — Exploring Alternatives: Therapy, Lifestyle Changes, and Treatments Like TMS/Ketamine 21:00 — Morning Irritability: Unpacking Workplace Stress & Uncontrollable Factors 24:00 — Reevaluating Work: Finding Meaning Outside Employment and Considering Changes 27:00 — Pre-Bed Journaling: Offloading Worries, Identifying Action Steps, and Creating Buffers 30:00 — Final Thoughts: Gratitude, Year-End Plans, and Continuing the Journey About the Podcast I’m Dr. Robert Duff, a clinical psychologist and the host of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast. I’m here to demystify mental health, break down psychological concepts, and provide actionable advice without unnecessary jargon. Through expert interviews, listener Q&A, and relatable discussions, this podcast aims to help you live a healthier, more fulfilled life. Connect With Me: Website: https://www.duffthepsych.com/ Contact: https://www.duffthepsych.com/contact Email: duffthepsych@gmail.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/duffthepsych/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/DuffThePsych #MentalHealth #Antidepressants #Bipolar #WorkStress #Journaling #SleepHygiene #QandA #SelfHelp #Psychology

In today’s episode of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I sit down with psychologist, professional speaker, and author Dr. Matt Zakreski to explore the concept of neurodiversity and how to create a more supportive world for neurodivergent individuals. Drawing from both personal and professional experiences, Dr. Matt shares his journey as someone who is gifted and ADHD, and how that shaped his understanding and advocacy for neurodivergent folks. We discuss what neurodiversity truly means, highlight differences between neurotypical and neurodivergent brains, and break down why it’s crucial to avoid framing neurodivergent individuals as “failed neurotypicals.” Dr. Matt provides practical strategies for understanding executive functioning challenges, improving communication, and fostering more inclusive environments both in schools and in everyday life. Whether you’re neurodivergent yourself, raising a neurodivergent child, or simply looking to become a better ally, this episode is packed with insights and guidance to help you understand, accept, and celebrate neurological differences. Chapters: 00:15 — Introduction: Send in Your Questions & Introducing Dr. Matt Zakreski 02:00 — Defining Neurodiversity and Neurodivergence 08:00 — The Performance Cliff: When School Outpaces Natural Ability 11:00 — Common Threads: Executive Functioning and Pragmatic Language in Neurodivergence 17:00 — Brain-Based Differences: Sensory Input, Basal Ganglia, and Emotional Intensity 21:00 — Universal Design in Education: Creating Systems That Work for All 24:00 — Shame, Emotionality, and the Reality of ADHD 28:00 — Inattentive vs. Hyperactive: Recognizing Subtle Signs and Misdiagnoses 33:00 — Rethinking Assessment: Moving Beyond DSM Checklists 38:00 — Why Specialists and Relationships Matter in Mental Health Care 41:00 — Making Therapy Work for Kids: Meeting Them Where They Are 43:00 — The Neurodiversity Playbook: Tools, Strategies, and Action Points 48:00 — Intention vs. Impact: Communicating Clearly and Compassionately 52:00 — Practical Tips for Executive Functioning in Daily Life 54:00 — Final Takeaways: Building Community and Embracing Your Unique Brain About the Podcast I’m Dr. Robert Duff, a clinical psychologist and the host of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast. My mission is to break down complex mental health topics into approachable, actionable advice. Each episode dives deep into mental health, personal development, and practical strategies for thriving. Whether through expert interviews, audience Q&A, or practical tips, this show is all about making meaningful changes without unnecessary jargon or fluff. Guest Links: The Neurodiversity Playbook by Dr. Matt Zakreski: https://www.drmattzakreski.com/the-neurodiversity-playbook Dr. Matt Zakreski’s Website: https://www.drmattzakreski.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drmattzakreski/ Connect With Me: Website: https://www.duffthepsych.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/duffthepsych/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/DuffThePsych #Neurodiversity #ADHD #Gifted #TwiceExceptional #Autism #ExecutiveFunction #InclusiveEducation #MentalHealth #SelfHelp #PersonalDevelopment

In today's episode of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I sit down with Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist and best-selling author Charles Duhigg to explore the science of effective communication and its profound impact on our personal and professional lives. Charles shares insights from his latest book, Supercommunicators: Unlock the Secret Language of Connection, delving into how skills like empathy, active listening, and understanding different types of conversations can transform the way we connect with others. Our conversation uncovers the neurological underpinnings of communication, including the concept of neural entrainment and the matching principle. We discuss practical strategies for improving communication in various contexts—from personal relationships to the workplace—and address common pitfalls people face, such as social anxiety and miscommunication. Whether you're looking to enhance your relationships, become a better listener, or navigate tough conversations with ease, this episode is packed with valuable insights to help you on your journey. Chapters: 00:15 — Introduction: Meet Charles Duhigg 03:00 — From Business to Journalism: Charles's Unconventional Path 08:00 — The Power of Storytelling in Communication 11:45 — Understanding the Science Behind Effective Communication 14:00 — The Three Types of Conversations: Practical, Emotional, Social 17:00 — The Matching Principle: Aligning Conversations for Connection 21:00 — Diagnosing and Matching Conversation Types 24:00 — Looping for Understanding: A Technique for Better Listening 28:00 — Common Communication Mistakes and How to Avoid Them 31:00 — Empathy Without Mimicry: Connecting Without Oversharing 34:00 — Real-World Examples: Doctors, Therapists, and Effective Communication 38:00 — Advice for Introverts and Those with Social Anxiety 44:00 — The Power of Asking Questions in Social Settings 47:00 — Overview of 'Supercommunicators' and Its Practical Applications 51:00 — Navigating Tough Conversations: Tips and Strategies 54:00 — A Challenge for Listeners: Reconnecting with Someone 57:30 — Closing Thoughts and Where to Find Charles's Work Hope you find this enlightening conversation as engaging as I did! Feel free to share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below. About the Podcast I'm Dr. Robert Duff, a clinical psychologist and the host of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast. My mission is to break down complex mental health topics into relatable, actionable advice. On this podcast, we dive deep into mental health, personal development, and the strategies that help us thrive. Each episode is a mix of expert interviews, practical tips, and answers to listener questions, all aimed at helping you live a healthier, more fulfilled life. Guest Links: Charles's Latest Book: Supercommunicators: Unlock the Secret Language of Connection — https://www.amazon.com/Supercommunicators-Unlock-Secret-Language-Connection/dp/0593243919 Website: CharlesDuhigg.com — https://www.charlesduhigg.com/ Twitter: @cduhigg — https://twitter.com/cduhigg Connect With Me: Website: duffthepsych.com — https://www.duffthepsych.com/ Instagram: @duffthepsych — https://www.instagram.com/duffthepsych/ YouTube: Dr. Duff's Channel — https://www.youtube.com/c/DuffThePsych #MentalHealth #EffectiveCommunication #CharlesDuhigg #SelfHelp #Supercommunicators #PersonalDevelopment #ListeningSkills #SocialAnxiety

In this Q&A episode of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I address two insightful listener questions. The first explores coping with the end of a therapeutic relationship, while the second delves into the physical manifestations of depression and strategies to manage them. This episode offers practical advice and empathetic understanding for those navigating these challenges. Chapters: 00:15 — Introduction: Returning to Q&A After a series of interviews, I return to answering your questions. Learn how to submit your own and connect with the podcast. 02:05 — Coping with the End of Therapy A listener shares the grief experienced after concluding therapy with a transformative therapist. I discuss why these feelings are normal, the concept of transference, and practical ways to navigate the loss of such a significant relationship. 12:15 — Understanding the Physical Symptoms of Depression Addressing a listener's concern about the often-overlooked physical manifestations of depression, including fatigue, dissociation, and the role of self-injury as a coping mechanism. I explore what these symptoms can look like, why they occur, and practical tools to help reconnect with the body and manage the emotional weight. 24:00 — Final Thoughts and Encouragement Reflecting on the courage it takes to share these challenges and offering guidance on taking small steps toward healing. About the Podcast I’m Dr. Robert Duff, a clinical psychologist and the host of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast. My mission is to break down complex mental health topics into relatable, actionable advice. Each episode combines expert insights, practical tips, and answers to listener questions, all aimed at helping you live a healthier, more fulfilled life. Connect With Me: Website: duffthepsych.com Instagram: @duffthepsych YouTube: youtube.com/duffthepsych Mentioned in This Episode: Book: Skin Game: A Memoir by Caroline Kettlewell. This memoir provides a vivid account of living with and overcoming self-injury. Available on Amazon: I hope you find this episode insightful and supportive. If you'd like to send me a question for a future episode, please email me at duffthepsych@gmail.com.