Heavy Hands

Sometimes all you gotta do is clock in. Don't miss the first Heavy Henka of the year! Join us as we break down the conclusion of this month's outrageous grand sumo tournament: https://www.patreon.com/heavyhands Predatory instinct: how Max Holloway attacks: https://open.substack.com/pub/facepunching/p/predatory-instinct-how-max-holloway?r=evbq&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false Heavy Hands merch: https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/64577943?asc=u CONTENTS: 00:00 Intro 2:45 Volkanovski vs Lopes 2 15:09 Saint Denis vs Hooker 27:43 Fiziev vs Ruffy 40:05 Teixeira vs Tuivasa 51:36 Bautista vs Oliveira 1:05:45 Albazi vs Horiguchi

Justin Gaethje vs Paddy Pimblett was incredibly entertaining, much in the same way as a fat man tumbling down three flights of steps only to poop his pants at the bottom. The next episode of Heavy Henka is coming soon. Join us as we break down the conclusion of this month's outrageous grand sumo tournament: https://www.patreon.com/heavyhands Predatory instinct: how Max Holloway attacks: https://open.substack.com/pub/facepunching/p/predatory-instinct-how-max-holloway?r=evbq&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false Heavy Hands merch: https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/64577943?asc=u CONTENTS: 00:00 Intro 3:43 Gaethje vs Pimblett 30:28 O'Malley vs Song 38:56 Volkanovski vs Lopes 2 41:47 Cortes-Acosta vs Lewis 44:55 Silva vs Namajunas 54:38 Allen vs Silva 1:11:17 Nurmagomedov vs Figueiredo  

The UFC comes out swinging, only to punch themselves out and take a nap for the rest of the year. Breaking down Natalia Silva vs Rose Namajunas and more from the UFC 324 undercard in our latest bonus episode: https://www.patreon.com/heavyhands Predatory instinct: how Max Holloway attacks: https://open.substack.com/pub/facepunching/p/predatory-instinct-how-max-holloway?r=evbq&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false Heavy Hands merch: https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/64577943?asc=u

At long last, following an unprecedented delay which certainly won't happen again next year, we are proud to bring you all four hours of the 2025 Handies. It was a pretty shit year for UFC fights, but a damn good one for stupid awards. Sumo is back, and Connor and Miguel Class will be breaking it down in the latest season of Heavy Henka: https://www.patreon.com/heavyhands Heavy Hands merch: https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/64577943?asc=u

Ryan Wagner returns to the show to teach Connor about a promising new martial art called "wrestling." Heavy Henka with Miguel Class returns soon! Join us, chubby chasers, to break down another thrilling sumo tournament, only on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/heavyhands Predatory instinct: how Max Holloway attacks: https://open.substack.com/pub/facepunching/p/predatory-instinct-how-max-holloway?r=evbq&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false Heavy Hands merch: https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/64577943?asc=u

Do MMA fighters have bad defense because the sport is just too hard, or are they all missing the forest for the trees? Support the show and listen to bonus episodes on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/heavyhands Predatory instinct: how Max Holloway attacks: https://open.substack.com/pub/facepunching/p/predatory-instinct-how-max-holloway?r=evbq&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false Subscribe/listen to the pod:  Heavy Hands merch: https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/64577943?asc=u

When did welterweight become the new middleweight?  Talking about Royval vs Kape and the rest of UFC 323 in our latest bonus episode: https://www.patreon.com/heavyhands Predatory instinct: how Max Holloway attacks: https://open.substack.com/pub/facepunching/p/predatory-instinct-how-max-holloway?r=evbq&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false Heavy Hands merch: https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/64577943?asc=u   

Rest in piss to the ephemeral sports programming network. Talking about Royval vs Kape and the rest of UFC 323 in our latest bonus episode: https://www.patreon.com/heavyhands  Predatory instinct: how Max Holloway attacks: https://open.substack.com/pub/facepunching/p/predatory-instinct-how-max-holloway?r=evbq&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false  Heavy Hands merch: https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/64577943?asc=u  CONTENTS: 00:00 Intro 13:05 Kape vs Royval 22:02 Vallejos vs Chikadze 31:06 Misc. 34:22 RIP ESPN 1:06:21 205 before Jones

I hereby take back every criticism I have ever leveled at Petr Yan. He is God. Talking about Royval vs Kape and the rest of UFC 323 in our latest bonus episode: https://www.patreon.com/heavyhands Predatory instinct: how Max Holloway attacks: https://open.substack.com/pub/facepunching/p/predatory-instinct-how-max-holloway?r=evbq&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false Heavy Hands merch: https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/64577943?asc=u  CONTENTS: 00:00 Intro 00:46 Yan vs Dvalishvili 2 43:26 Pantoja vs Van (and what's next) 51:33 Talbott vs Cejudo 1:03 Moreno vs Taira

Someday, scientists may recreate the wrestler, possibly using frog DNA. Until then, we have to appreciate the ones we have left. Moreno-Taira and more from the UFC 323 undercard on our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/heavyhands  Predatory instinct: how Max Holloway attacks: https://open.substack.com/pub/facepunching/p/predatory-instinct-how-max-holloway?r=evbq&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false  Heavy Hands merch: https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/64577943?asc=u  CONTENTS: 00:00 Intro 5:48 Dvalishvili vs Yan 2 36:15 Pantoja vs Van 57:50 Cejudo vs Talbott  

Arman Tsarukyan and Kyoji Horiguchi both reestablished themselves as top contenders. Ian Garry reestablished himself as the guy who sort of makes other middleweights look mediocre, sometimes. Completely changing our tune on Bo Nickal--PLUS the return of Heavy Henka with Miguel Class--all on our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/heavyhands  Predatory instinct: how Max Holloway attacks: https://open.substack.com/pub/facepunching/p/predatory-instinct-how-max-holloway?r=evbq&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false  Heavy Hands merch: https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/64577943?asc=u  CONTENTS 00:00 Intro 5:19 Tsarukyan vs Hooker 23:06 Garry vs Muhammad 48:15 Horiguchi vs Ulanbekov 57:55 Orolbai vs Hermansson 1:05:45 Riley vs Grad  

War is peace. Freedom is slavery. Valentina Shevchenko is the GOAT. Completely changing our tune on Bo Nickal--PLUS the return of Heavy Henka with Miguel Class--all on our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/heavyhands  Predatory instinct: how Max Holloway attacks: https://open.substack.com/pub/facepunching/p/predatory-instinct-how-max-holloway?r=evbq&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false  Heavy Hands merch: https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/64577943?asc=u  CONTENTS 00:00 Intro 5:07 Makhachev vs Della Maddalena 28:22 Shevchenko vs Zhang 51:13 Tsarukyan vs Hooker  

Why has Islam Makhachev chosen this moment to go up to 170? Is he at the end of his prime? Or maybe it's just because Jack Della Maddalena SUCKS. Praying for Bo Nickal's downfall in our latest bonus episode: https://www.patreon.com/heavyhands  Predatory instinct: how Max Holloway attacks: https://open.substack.com/pub/facepunching/p/predatory-instinct-how-max-holloway?r=evbq&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false  Heavy Hands merch: https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/64577943?asc=u  CONTENTS: 00:00 Intro 7:29 Della Maddalena vs Makhachev 54:33 Shevchenko vs Zhang 1:20:18 Edwards vs Prates

IT'S A SHAM, I TELL YOU. A SHAM. Talking Volkov-Almeida and Murzakanov-Rakic in our latest bonus episode: https://www.patreon.com/heavyhands  Predatory instinct: how Max Holloway attacks: https://open.substack.com/pub/facepunching/p/predatory-instinct-how-max-holloway?r=evbq&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false  Heavy Hands merch: https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/64577943?asc=u CONTENTS: 00:00 Intro 2:37 Steve Garcia vs David Onama 23:29 Isaac Dulgarian and fight fixing 50:13 Gabriel Bonfim vs Randy Brown

Sign our petition to have every heavyweight on the UFC roster summarily executed. Talking Volkov-Almeida and Murzakanov-Rakic in our latest bonus episode: https://www.patreon.com/heavyhands  Predatory instinct: how Max Holloway attacks: https://open.substack.com/pub/facepunching/p/predatory-instinct-how-max-holloway?r=evbq&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false  Heavy Hands merch: https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/64577943?asc=u  CONTENTS: 00:00 Tom Aspinall vs Ciryl Gane 23:27 Mackenzie Dern vs Virna Jandiroba 44:37 Umar Nurmagomedov vs Mario Bautista

The heavyweight division has a disease. One man has the cure (we hope). Our thoughts on Brendan Allen's triumph over Reinier de Ridder, plus some thoughts on the previous week's card that got lost in the shuffle in our latest bonus episode: https://www.patreon.com/heavyhands  Predatory instinct: how Max Holloway attacks: https://open.substack.com/pub/facepunching/p/predatory-instinct-how-max-holloway?r=evbq&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false  Heavy Hands merch: https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/64577943?asc=u  00:00 Intro 4:43 Tom Aspinall vs Ciryl Gane 31:27 Virna Jandiroba vs Mackenzie Dern 44:56 Umar Nurmagomedov vs Mario Bautista

Charles Oliveira isn't done yet, Reinier de Ridder may just be getting started, and we're enjoying the fact that we've got two cards with full, interesting undercards to talk about. In our latest bonus episode, we use Montel Jackson as an example of how NOT to use a reach advantage, discuss Joel Alvarez's future as a welterweight, and struggle to wrap our heads around Chito Vera vs Aiemann Zahabi: https://www.patreon.com/heavyhands  Predatory instinct: how Max Holloway attacks: https://open.substack.com/pub/facepunching/p/predatory-instinct-how-max-holloway?r=evbq&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false  Heavy Hands merch: https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/64577943?asc=u  CONTENTS: 00:00 Intro 2:47 Charles Oliveira vs Mateusz Gamrot 27:09 Reinier de Ridder vs Brendan Allen 56:11 Charles Jourdain vs Davey Grant

Alex Pereira had about 90 seconds before his body started to explode piece by piece--fortunately, that was more than enough. Also, Merab Dvalishvili is the GOAT. Josh Emmett vs Youssef Zalal, more from the UFC 320 prelims, and our thoughts on the travesty that was Carlos Ulberb vs Dominick Reyes in our latest bonus episode: https://www.patreon.com/heavyhands  Predatory instinct: how Max Holloway attacks: https://open.substack.com/pub/facepunching/p/predatory-instinct-how-max-holloway?r=evbq&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false  Heavy Hands merch: https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/64577943?asc=u  CONTENTS: 00:00 Intro 4:38 Alex Pereira vs Magomed Ankalaev 2 19:48 Merab Dvalishvili vs Cory Sandhagen 45:54 Jiri Prochazka vs Khalil Rountree 58:07 Youssef Zalal vs Josh Emmett

How much you wanna bet Dana White has some intern knife Magomed Ankalaev before the fight like Joaquin Phoenix did to Russell Crowe in Gladiator. Josh Emmett vs Youssef Zalal, more from the UFC 320 prelims, and our thoughts on the travesty that was Carlos Ulberb vs Dominick Reyes in our latest bonus episode: https://www.patreon.com/heavyhands  Predatory instinct: how Max Holloway attacks: https://open.substack.com/pub/facepunching/p/predatory-instinct-how-max-holloway?r=evbq&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false  Heavy Hands merch: https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/64577943?asc=u  CONTENTS 00:00 Intro 4:03 Ankalaev vs Pereira 2 37:41 Dvalishvili vs Sandhagen 1:05:36 Prochazka vs Rountree Jr  

The UFC returns to the southern hemisphere with a harsh lesson for the Australian people. Next: the White House. Heavy Henka returns! And our boy Hoshoryu has fighting like a true yokozuna for the first seven days of the September tournament: https://www.patreon.com/heavyhands  Predatory instinct: how Max Holloway attacks: https://open.substack.com/pub/facepunching/p/predatory-instinct-how-max-holloway?r=evbq&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false  Heavy Hands merch: https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/64577943?asc=u  CONTENTS: 00:00 Intro 8:26 Carlos Ulberg vs Dominick Reyes 33:57 Jake Matthews vs Neil Magny 52:09 USA! USA! USA!