Normalizing Non-Monogamy - Personal Stories of Polyamory, Swinging, and Beyond

For a long time Liz felt like she was broken. She kept expecting to have a crush, form a relationship, and then stop having new crushes because she was just so in love. Instead, she would have a crush, fall in love, and then have another crush, and then another, and another. Liz eventually tried an open relationship with her high school boyfriend and even though she never did anything other than having lots of crushes, she felt so free! After high school, societal pressure crept in and Liz didn’t revisit the idea of non-monogamy until her thirties when she and her husband opened their relationship about a year into their marriage. After exploring kitchen table polyamory together for about a decade, Liz and her husband separated but currently still live together with their kids as well as with her ex-husband’s partner and her kids. Join us for this powerful interview as Liz takes us on her journey of figuring out what actually works for her and what she wants in life. We have fantastic conversations about hierarchy, the relationship escalator, dating, jealousy, and we get to hear what happens when Liz actually tries to pursue all her crushes all at once! Liz is also a dating and relationship coach who primarily helps highly sensitive, intuitive women find deep, soul-aligned love — without settling, burning out, or pretending to be someone they’re not. If dating has ever felt overwhelming, disappointing, or like you had to hide your heart just to get by… you’re not alone and Liz is here to help! You can learn more about how to work with Liz on her website! Check out the full show notes here. Join us at Relationship Recess in May 2026! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Join us today for this powerful interview with Mischa as he takes us through his journey and evolution of exploring love, dating, relationships, and his own sexuality. Mischa shares about his experiences navigating hookup culture in New York during his twenties before diving into polyamory and the play party scene after moving back to San Francisco in his thirties. Mischa also talks about his more recent 2-year celibacy journey and how his faith and devotion to God have helped guide him in getting clearer on how he shares his love and energy with everyone in his life rather than often focusing it on sexual and romantic connections. We also dig into the nuances of communication and consent, the challenges of pushing against the societal and familial expectations of who we’re supposed to be and what we’re supposed to be doing, and we get a bit philosophical about sex during the bonus questions! Mischa Byruck is a sexual integrity and accountability coach who’s helped support hundreds of men in transforming their own relationships to sex and success. You can learn more about Mischa and all of his work by visiting his website at evolve.men. Check out the full show notes here. Join us at Relationship Recess in May 2026! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

We first talked with Mariana just over two years ago on Episode 313 and we're excited to have her back today with an update! When we asked if she wanted to come back on the show she was thrilled and told us “A lot has happened but not a lot has changed.” Specifically, a lot has happened internally for Mariana even though the structure of her relationships, who her partners are, and how she does polyamory hasn’t really changed since we last talked. Join us today as Mariana shares what’s shifted for her over the last few years as she’s found herself in a much calmer, more peaceful, and less anxious place while continuing to explore what types of relationships work best for her! Mariana is also a designer who has created some incredible games to help people design their own relationships, sexuality, and community! The three of us actually play her games during the bonus episode for premium subscribers and you can go grab your own copy of all of her games over on her website. Plus, you can get yourself a discount when you use the code EMMA at checkout!  Check out the full show notes here. Join us at Relationship Recess in May 2026! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Nisi and Thor have been married for almost 40 years and have built a beautiful life, family, and partnership together. They “officially” opened their marriage about four years ago after spending nearly a decade strengthening their relationship, healing old wounds and religious trauma, and discovering themselves before slowly starting to explore with others. They’ve overcome a ton together and it hasn’t been an easy path for them to get to where they are today. Join us for this powerful and inspiring conversation as Nisi and Thor take us behind the scenes and share what it has been like to open their relationship and how rewarding it has been for them both. Oh! And, don’t forget to stick around for the bonus episode where things get a bit spicy! Check out the full show notes here. Join us at Relationship Recess in May 2026! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Candace is a queer, polyamorous mom in her mid-forties who’s been exploring non-monogamy consensually for about 15 years and has been together with her husband for about 11 years. While it’s been 15 years since Candace started exploring non-monogamy consensually she vulnerably shares with us that during her twenties she was a habitual cheater and that it took hitting rock bottom at around age 30 for her to entirely reshape how she was doing relationships to be more aligned with her heart and values.  Of course, redesigning your entire approach to relationships is no small task! She explored swinging on her own for a few years before meeting her now-husband. Then, over the course of about 7 years they slowly expanded their relationship to where it is today… Candace is polyamorous, her husband is monogamish, they have what they call a “poly sphere” with about 50 people in it that spans the US, and they’re a bicoastal family living part of the year together on each coast and living part of the year separately on opposite coasts. We cover a ton in this powerful conversation with Candace and we’re excited to share it with all of you! Candace Klein is a lawyer, entrepreneur, and transformational leader whose work spans finance, technology, and human development. Over the past fifteen years, Candace has served in senior executive and C-suite roles across venture-backed startups and global payments companies, including Chief Commercial Officer of Lynx, a healthcare payments company, and Senior Vice President of Embedded Finance at FIS, a global payments firm with more than 66,000 employees.  She is the former co-author of Typhoon Honey: The Only Way Out Is Through, a book on emotional intelligence and transformational growth, and has recently published Polyagony: The Art of Repair in Open Relationships. Today, Candace lives on Cape Cod, Massachusetts, with her husband Andrew, their son Ivar, and their two dogs, Pan and Cinder. Check out the full show notes here. Join us at Relationship Recess in May 2026! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

We love getting to dig deep into the theory and psychology of human relating and relationships with therapists and it’s an extra special treat when the therapist is open to taking us behind the scenes of their own personal journey… That’s exactly what we get to do today with Bart! First, Bart brings us all the way back to his early childhood where he feels like he developed much earlier than his peers. Then he takes us through coming out at age 16, starting to explore non-monogamy in college, and ultimately landing in San Francisco where he continues to explore and discover what actually works for him in relationships. One thing we really love about this conversation is that Bart doesn’t just tell his story, he analyzes and philosophizes about it with us along the way. We also love that we’re never just talking about sexual or romantic partnerships with Bart, we’re talking about relationships of all kinds whether they’re sexual, platonic, friends, partners, or familial. Bart is an interpersonal psychotherapist based in San Francisco who works with individuals, couples, and polycules navigating non-traditional relationship structures. He developed Relational Capacity Therapy (RCT)—a framework that operationalizes Alfred Adler's Individual Psychology into five measurable capacities—and the Relational Maturity Index (RMI), a free assessment that helps people understand their relational patterns across different life contexts. You can learn more about Bart's therapeutic perspective and take the RMI at his website, InterpersonalPsychology.com. Check out the full show notes here. Join us at Relationship Recess in May 2026! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Cyndee and Mitch are former pastors who have been together for a very long time and officially opened their marriage in 2022… However, their journey towards opening up spans nearly their entire relationship as they spent decades together shifting their mindsets while deconstructing and reframing religion to get to where they are today. Cyndee and Mitch currently describe themselves as “swingers with a poly heart” or more generically just “open.” Their main focus in non-monogamy is on forming genuine friendships that don’t fit into any particular box. For them, it’s all about the people… And the travel! Join us for this wonderful conversation as Cyndee and Mitch take us behind the scenes of their relationship and journey to opening up. Mitch has been a coach and consultant in multiple industries for over 30 years and today he’s working as a relationship coach with the team at Expansive Connection. Expansive Connection offers mindfulness based coaching for individuals, couples, and more-somes that seek to better understand themselves and their relationships. You can learn more about Mitch’s work and Expansive Connection on their website.  Check out the full show notes here. Join us at Relationship Recess in May 2026! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

This beautiful interview with Sarah is a powerful reminder that we’re all imperfect humans out here trying to figure out life and who we are in a world that really wants to stuff us into boxes that we rarely, if ever, fit into. Sarah spent a majority of their twenties in a mostly monogamous, heterosexual relationship before realizing about nine months after getting married that they were gay. Today, Sarah is a queer, non-binary, polyamorous, relationship anarchist in their mid-thirties who continues to be on an incredible journey of self-discovery and exploration. The journey truly never ends and we’re honored to have Sarah share their story with us today. Besides being a badass in their personal life… Sarah is also a Licensed Clinical Social Worker who centers queer, neurodivergent, kinky, and non‑monogamous folks and also specializes in ketamine assisted therapy. You can learn more about Sarah and all of their incredible work on their website courageousyoutherapy.com. Check out the full show notes here. Join us at Relationship Recess in May 2026! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

We're joined today by Gary Ware from Breakthrough Play and Jase Lindgren from Multiamory for an incredible conversation about how we can use play as a form of resistance and rest in a world where we often feel overwhelmed by the stress and pressure to be constantly "on" as we try to keep up. We're exhausted ourselves and can imagine many of you are, as well. This episode is full of fascinating research and personal stories, plus tools, tips, and tricks to help us all slow down a little. If you are looking for a permission slip to take a breath... Don't skip this conversation! If you're ready to take your resistance to the next level... Gary and Jase are co-hosting our upcoming in-person event May 1-3, 2026 called Relationship Recess! You can learn more and grab your tickets here! Check out the full show notes here. Join us at Relationship Recess in May 2026! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Joel is in his mid-twenties and has been proudly and openly exploring his pansexuality, non-monogamy, and polyamory for the last few years. During this conversation he takes us through his incredibly powerful and traumatic coming out journey that began when he had to check himself into a psychiatric hospital during his time in the military after becoming suicidal due to the sexual abuse and trauma he experienced during his childhood. He decided that when he got out he was going to live his truth and he has done exactly that. Now, at age 26, Joel feels like he’s finally becoming the person he’s always wanted to be but never knew how to be.  During our interview Joel also takes us through his first ethically non-monogamous partnership, he talks about how he’s building his queer and poly community, and he sticks around to answer some juicy bonus questions! This conversation is so vulnerable, brave, and beautiful… We hope you’re as moved and inspired by it as we are. Check out the full show notes here. Join us at Relationship Recess in May 2026! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Crystal has been exploring non-monogamy for almost a decade and over the years she’s tried just about every flavor from swinging to non-hierarchical kitchen table poly, and beyond. Today, friendship is her primary motivation for exploring non-monogamy and she and her partner consider themselves to simply be “open.” Curious what she means by that…? Have a listen! Crystal comes from a heavy evangelical background and has been on a journey undoing the sexual shame and religious trauma through community, pleasure, non-monogamy, kink and also through her work as a queer, neurospicy sex and relationship therapist providing teletherapy to Maryland adults. She specializes in supporting LGBTQ+, consensually non-monogamous, and kink communities. Her clinical work focuses on sexual self acceptance and expression, religious trauma and purity culture recovery, and opening up or restructuring relationships.​ Learn more about Crystal and her work on her website! Check out the full show notes here. Join us at Relationship Recess in May 2026! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

James has been exploring non-monogamous relationships for over 17 years and has been a proud member of the kink scene for over 11. His journey has taken him around the world through many twists and turns, including a don't ask don't tell-type dynamic at the beginning, to exploring swinging and sex parties, non-hierarchical polyamory, and recently discovering his demisexuality. We dig into it all today in this wonderful interview! One of the things we absolutely love about this conversation with James is how transparent and vulnerable he is about everything he’s learned over the last 17 years, including how he hasn’t always done things in the most ethical way. But, like most of us, he’s always trying to learn and grow along the way. James is all about community and creating space for people to explore and discover their most authentic selves. He's the co-founder of the Festival Of Alternative Relationships (F.A.R.) and co-runs The Open Circle, Australia's largest community of people exploring ethical non-monogamy (ENM). He has lived experience in almost every form of ENM dynamic and has run workshops in ENM and Lifestyle Kink (D/s) in both London and Sydney. He also studied sex and relationship coaching at The Somatica Institute based in San Francisco. You can learn more about James and his work on his website. Check out the full show notes here. Join us at Relationship Recess in May 2026! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

We are so excited about this conversation with Gary Ware that is all about the power of play in life and in relationships! Gary is co-hosting our upcoming in-person event May 1-3, 2026 called Relationship Recess! You can learn more and grab your tickets here! Gary is the Founder of Breakthrough Play, a corporate facilitator, keynote speaker, certified coach, and self-proclaimed Creative Catalyst. Gary has over 14 years of experience in the corporate world holding various leadership positions. Being a multifaceted individual Gary also comes with nearly a decade of experience as a performer in improv theatre. After experiencing burnout in his pursuit for success and happiness, he realized that what was missing was play. Committing to a life of play is what led Gary to discover his passion for facilitating. Gary uses the power of applied improvisation and other playful methods to assist people in unlocking creativity, confidence, and better communication. Gary was recently featured as one of the Top 100 HR influencers of 2021 by the Engagedly HR software platform. When Gary isn't leading workshops or speaking, you can find him learning magic or off on an adventure with his wife Courtney and son Garrett.   Check out the full show notes here. Join us at Relationship Recess in May 2026! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Ms. WillowKat is all about living the one life we get to the fullest and zer zest and passion for life is infectious! We cover a lot of topics in this fantastic interview… Growing up as a Jehovah’s Witness, leaving the church, getting married at 19 and exploring non-monogamy for the first time, having kids, going back to the church, leaving the church again, diving into kink and power dynamics, creating the polycule and chosen family of zer dreams, and so much more! This is truly a beautiful and inspiring conversation and we hope you enjoy it as much as we did! Ms. WillowKat also does incredibly powerful work alongside Dossie Easton (co-author of The Ethical Slut) at their 501c3 called Navigating Consent where their stated goal is to move forward from wherever we may be today into a safer, saner, sexier, and more consensual future. Additionally, WillowKat does work through The Alive Programs to address violence at all levels of intensity and ways of manifesting; physical, emotional, mental, verbal, and sexual. Please visit the Navigating Consent and The Alive Programs websites to learn more and to get involved. Check out the full show notes here. Join us at Relationship Recess in May 2026! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Natalie and her husband have been in an open relationship of some sort for over 25 years and about four years ago her husband’s partner moved in with them. We first had the pleasure of talking with Natalie a little over two years ago on episode 304 and now she’s back to talk all about living with her husband and metamour in their “Resident V” or “Nested V” relationship. This is a fabulous interview and we have so many incredible conversations with Natalie throughout! We have fantastic chats about being out as polyamorous, what relationship anarchy means to Natalie, and how her relationship with her metamour doesn’t fit neatly into one box. Natalie also talks about how they slowly worked towards all living together and the reality and logistics of how they do it. Natalie shops for groceries, her metamour cooks, and her husband does the dishes… But is it always that easy? Join us and find out! Natalie is also a writer, presenter, and the author of her brand new memoir Saying Yes - My Adventures in Polyamory! You can find all of Natalie’s work and learn more about her on her website, but definitely go grab a copy of her new book so you can hear even more of Natalie’s incredible adventures! Check out the full show notes here. Join us at Relationship Recess in May 2026! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Rashid is in his early thirties and first learned about non-monogamy in his mid-twenties while in a monogamous partnership that lasted about a decade. Like so many of us, he thought something was wrong with him because he’d often find himself attracted to others and having crushes. After ending that relationship during the pandemic Rashid moved across the country multiple times, tried out monogamy again, and lived in a van while traveling the country before meeting someone who introduced him to relationship anarchy. They began dating and Rashid dove into a whole new world… Join us today as Rashid takes us through pretty much his whole relationship and life journey over the last decade in this beautiful interview. We have powerful conversations about loss, grief, jealousy, platonic friendships and life partners, and how we’re all imperfect humans who are trying to do our best and learn along the way. Enjoy! Check out the full show notes here. Join us at Relationship Recess in May 2026! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

When Marcia’s high school boyfriend left for college they decided to try opening their relationship… However, it was the late nineties in Georgia so there weren’t many resources or support available for anyone exploring non-traditional relationships or their sexuality and queerness. But that didn’t stop her! It’s now been over 25 years and Marcia still hasn’t been in a monogamous relationship unless you count that time she was forced into it by the pandemic.  One of the main themes of Marcia’s story is her focus on friendship as the foundation for all of her connections. Over the years Marcia has explored many different relationship styles and dynamics as she’s deconstructed norms and figured out who she is and what she wants. This conversation is full of powerful wisdom and insight Marcia has learned along the way. We hope you enjoy this interview as much as we did. Marcia Baczynski is an internationally-recognized coach, writer and presenter on sexual communication, boundaries, consent and desire. Her primary mission is to help adults who want more connection and intimacy to overcome shame and get in touch with what they truly want – romantically, sexually and relationally – even if it’s off the beaten path. You can learn more about Marcia and all of her work by checking out her website! Check out the full show notes here. Join us at Relationship Recess in May 2026! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Jill is in her mid-forties and has just come through a really big transition in life after recently ending her longterm partnership and marriage. Non-monogamy is fairly new for her as well and while she feels that it’s part of her identity and who she is, her life circumstances don’t really allow her to explore these parts of herself very often.  This is such a moving conversation as Jill talks about the challenges of exploring herself and finding romantic and sexual connections while living in a rural and conservative small town. She’s had to get really creative in how she gets her needs met and she shares with us how she’s currently focusing on emotionally intimate and deep platonic friendships in the absence of opportunities to explore in other ways.  Jill also sticks around to share some laughs with us as we answer some bonus questions together! This is a wonderful interview and we hope you enjoy it as much as we did! Check out the full show notes here. Join us at Relationship Recess in May 2026! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Megan has been exploring various flavors and styles of non-monogamy for most of her adult life and one of the things we love about her story is that it hasn't been a linear path. Like many of us, she grew up surrounded by the influences of mononormativity and while she never cheated, she always felt an internal discomfort with how monogamy worked and with all of the rules that came with it. As Megan shares her story today she digs into many of the things she's learned along the way... We talk about her approach to hierarchy and relationship agreements, the importance of erotic autonomy, transitioning from friends to lovers (and back again), and so much more! Overall, this is a fantastic conversation about the power of living your life and having relationships in ways that differ from what we're taught is the "right way." You'll pick up on Megan's passion pretty quickly and it's no surprise she's turned helping people navigate non-monogamy into her career! Megan is a relationship coach and teacher of erotic autonomy who loves helping people create and sustain the consensually non-monogamous relationships they desire while retaining a sense of erotic autonomy in order to live more meaningful lives. You can learn more about Megan and her work on her website! Check out the full show notes here. Join us at Relationship Recess in May 2026! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

When we first talked to Kevin on Episode 45 he’d been married for over a decade and he was in a handful of new-ish relationships. Nearly seven years later, he’s been married over 20 years and describes himself as being in all of the longest relationships he’s ever been in. Join us today for a wonderful conversation with Kevin about how he’s fostered stability and longevity in his polyamorous relationships for himself, his partners, and his whole family. You may recognize Kevin Patterson as the author of Love's Not Color Blind: Race and Representation in Polyamorous and Other Alternative Communities, which came out in 2018, and as the creator of Poly Role Models, which was a weekly Tumblr page that told the poly origin stories of people from around the world. Kevin is also the author of the “For Hire” science fiction series. He published his latest book in the series earlier this year called “For Hire: The Price of Fame.” You can learn more about Kevin and all of his work on his website. Check out the full show notes here. Join us at Relationship Recess in May 2026! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing