Relationship Renovation: Marriage Advice, Intimacy & Couples Communication

Book a Discovery Call for Relationship Renovation CoachingWhen you're in the middle of conflict, communication tools can completely fall apart.You try to validate. You try to listen. You try to stay calm.And suddenly you're flooded, defensive, or completely shut down.In this episode, we respond to a powerful listener question:What do you do when the tools don’t work?We break down:Why regulation must come before communicationHow nervous system activation creates “narrative certainty”The 3 biggest mistakes couples make when they’re dysregulatedWhy debating facts in the moment makes everything worseHow to pause conflict without escalating itThe critical difference between insecurity-based distortion and true gaslightingThe exact steps to re-enter the conversation safelyIf you’ve ever felt like communication skills fail you in high-conflict moments, this episode will change how you approach repair.Key Takeaway: You can’t skill your way out of survival mode. Regulation is the prerequisite to repair.This is Part 1 of a 2-part series. Next week, we tackle: How do you validate your partner without agreeing with something that feels false?Order Relationship Renovation at Home Manual from AmazonJoin Our Patreon CommunitySupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/he-said-she-said/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Infertility and pregnancy loss are far more common than we talk about — and far more isolating than most couples expect.Book a Discovery Call for Relationship Renovation CoachingIn this deeply vulnerable episode, we sit down with Alan and Kasey to explore their journey through:Multiple miscarriagesAn ectopic pregnancy that nearly turned fatalPTSD and trauma after medical emergencyThe invisible grief of infertilityAnd the complicated question: What does our future look like now?What makes their story powerful isn’t just the pain — it’s how they stayed connected through it.They share: ✔️ How to stay emotionally close when you’re grieving differently ✔️ Why proximity matters more than “fixing it” ✔️ The biggest mistake couples make during infertility ✔️ How trauma can impact intimacy ✔️ Why grief isn’t linear — and what that means for your relationship ✔️ How to avoid drifting apart during long-term lossIf you or someone you love has experienced miscarriage, infertility, or pregnancy loss, this episode will make you feel less alone.Because infertility may be common — but it’s often invisible.And you don’t have to navigate it alone.Learn More About Relationship RenovationOrder Relationship Renovation at Home Manual from AmazonJoin Our Patreon CommunitySupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/he-said-she-said/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Why does sex often become uncomfortable, pressured, or disconnected in midlife — even in loving relationships?Book a Discovery Call for Relationship Renovation CoachingIn this episode, EJ and Tarah are joined by Dr. Maria Sophocles, board-certified gynecologist and national menopause expert, to explore what she calls The Bedroom Gap — the growing difference in expectations, desire, and physical experience that many couples face as they age.They discuss why so many women feel broken or ashamed when intimacy changes, why couples rarely talk openly about it, and how hormonal shifts, cultural messaging, and outdated definitions of sex create disconnection.Dr. Sophocles shares three essential steps to closing the gap:• Know thyself — understanding your body, hormones, and pleasure• Communicate — removing shame and learning to talk honestly about sex• Redefine sex — shifting from performance and obligation to connection and pleasureYou will also hear about:• How perimenopause and menopause impact desire and comfort• Why pain during sex often leads to avoidance and fear• How shame silently fuels disconnection• Why redefining sex beyond penetration changes everything• The difference between obligation-based sex and connection-based intimacy• How couples can rebuild trust after long periods of distanceThis episode is especially helpful if:• Intimacy feels tense, painful, or avoided• One partner feels rejected while the other feels pressured• Hormonal changes have shifted desire• You miss feeling close but do not know how to start again• Shame makes it hard to talk about sexThis is an honest, hopeful conversation about sexual health, emotional safety, and rediscovering pleasure in long-term relationships.Dr. Sophocles links below: The Bedroom Gap: Rewrite the Rules and Roles of Sex in Midlifehttps://mariasophoclesmd.com/Learn More About Relationship RenovationOrder Relationship Renovation at Home Manual from AmazonJoin Our Patreon CommunitySupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/he-said-she-said/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Why does desire often fade in long-term relationships — even when couples deeply love each other?Book a Discovery Call for Relationship Renovation CoachingIn this episode, EJ and Tarah are joined by Dan Purcell, founder of Get Your Marriage On, to explore why intimacy can start to feel pressured, routine, or emotionally distant over time. If you’ve ever wondered why connection doesn’t automatically follow commitment, or why closeness can suddenly feel anxiety-producing instead of natural, this conversation offers a deeper explanation.Together, they unpack how expectation, anxiety, and unspoken pressure quietly erode connection, and why many couples try to fix intimacy by focusing on the act itself rather than the emotional and nervous-system conditions that make closeness possible.Dan shares insights from his own marriage and his work helping couples move beyond obligation and routine, including why:Desire cannot be forced or scheduled into existenceCloseness often shuts down when there is pressure or expectationMany couples confuse validation with true connectionAnxiety around vulnerability can lead partners to disconnect without realizing itEmotional safety must come before deeper physical closenessThey also discuss practical ways couples can rebuild connection gradually, including slowing down, creating moments of presence, and learning to tolerate closeness instead of rushing past it.This episode is especially helpful if:Intimacy feels tense or disconnectedOne partner feels pressured while the other feels rejectedYou miss feeling close but don’t know how to get back thereYou want to rebuild connection without blame or shameThis is a grounded, honest conversation about intimacy in real relationships — not quick fixes, but what actually helps couples feel close again over time.🔗 Guest LinksLearn more about Dan Purcell and his work at: https://getyourmarriageon.com/renovationResources & SupportIf you want help applying these tools to your real relationship — not just understanding them — you can join our 👉 Join Our Patreon Community, where we offer deeper teaching, live Q&As, and practical support.We also offer private coaching and discovery calls for individuals and couples who feel stuck in repeating patterns and want more personalized support.Order Relationship Renovation at Home Manual from AmazonSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/he-said-she-said/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Why do the same arguments keep happening — even when you know better?Book a Discovery Call for Relationship Renovation CoachingIn Part 3 of our communication series, relationship therapists Tarah and EJ Kerwin break down what’s really happening underneath conflict: emotional triggers, nervous system hijacking, and defensiveness. These are the moments when logic disappears, your partner feels like the enemy, and small issues turn into big ruptures.In this episode, we explain why triggers are not character flaws — they’re internal emotional alarms — and how understanding your triggers can help you slow reactivity, reduce damage, and repair more quickly. You’ll learn how to recognize when you’re out of your window of tolerance, how your body signals activation, and how old wounds and core beliefs get activated in present-day relationships.We also walk through one of the core tools we use with couples: a step-by-step process to understand triggers, identify automatic thoughts and feelings, and reconnect in a more open-hearted, regulated way.This episode isn’t about never being triggered.It’s about learning repairable communication — so conflict becomes a pathway to deeper understanding instead of disconnection.In This Episode, We Cover:What emotional triggers actually are (and what they are not)Why defensiveness escalates conflict so quicklyHow triggers hijack the nervous systemSigns you’re outside your window of toleranceThe connection between triggers, unmet needs, and core beliefsHow to slow down reactivity in the momentA practical framework for understanding and repairing after conflictWhy healthy relationships aren’t trigger-free — they’re repair-focusedResources & SupportIf you want help applying these tools to your real relationship — not just understanding them — you can join our 👉 Join Our Patreon Community, where we offer deeper teaching, live Q&As, and practical support.We also offer private coaching and discovery calls for individuals and couples who feel stuck in repeating patterns and want more personalized support.Order Relationship Renovation at Home Manual from AmazonConnect With UsHave a communication pattern you’re stuck in or a question about validation or listening?Email us at podcast@relationshiprenovation.com — we’d love to hear from you.If this episode helped you, please share it with someone you love or leave a review. It helps other couples find support and hope.As always: take care of yourself, and take care of each other.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/he-said-she-said/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

In Part Two of our Communication Series, EJ and Tarah Kerwin break down three of the most essential — and most misunderstood — relationship skills: validation, active listening, and repair attempts.Book a Discovery Call for Relationship Renovation CoachingMost couples don’t struggle because they don’t care — they struggle because they were never taught how to communicate when emotions are high. In this episode, EJ and Tarah explain why defensiveness is so common, how quickly conversations turn into arguments, and what it actually means to help your partner feel heard without giving up your own boundaries.Through real-life examples from their own relationship and years of clinical work, they explore:Why validation does NOT mean agreementHow active listening builds emotional safety (and why it’s so hard)Common signs you’re listening defensively instead of openlyWhy couples who avoid conflict often struggle more than couples who fightHow repair attempts can shorten conflict and prevent resentmentWhat to do when you miss the moment — because you willThis episode is practical, honest, and deeply human. If you’ve ever felt unheard, misunderstood, or stuck in the same argument over and over again, this conversation will give you tools you can start using today.🔑 Key Topics CoveredValidation vs. defensivenessActive listening as a relational skillRepairing conflict instead of avoiding itEmotional safety and presenceCommunication patterns that quietly damage connection📚 Resources MentionedOrder Relationship Renovation at Home Manual from Amazon👉 Join Our Patreon Community💬 Connect With UsHave a communication pattern you’re stuck in or a question about validation or listening?Email us at podcast@relationshiprenovation.com — we’d love to hear from you.If this episode helped you, please share it with someone you love or leave a review. It helps other couples find support and hope.As always: take care of yourself, and take care of each other.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/he-said-she-said/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Is communication the biggest struggle in your relationship? You’re not alone.Book a Discovery Call for Relationship Renovation CoachingIn Part 1 of our 3-part Communication Series, relationship experts and hosts Tarah and EJ Kerwin break down why communication goes wrong so often—even when we love our partner and have the best intentions.This episode focuses on the “DON’Ts” of communication: the instinctive, automatic responses we fall into when we’re tired, defensive, triggered, or overwhelmed. These reactions may feel honest in the moment, but they often shut down connection and emotional safety.Through real-life examples, personal stories, and practical reframes, Tarah and EJ show how the same situations can feel completely different when handled with validation, active listening, and emotional awareness.In this episode, you’ll learn:Why emotional invalidation damages trust (even when you’re trying to help)How saying “I never said that” escalates conflict instead of resolving itWhy accusations and blame shut down vulnerabilityThe hidden danger of mind reading and unspoken expectationsWhy fights about chores are almost never about the choresHow just one partner responding differently can completely change the outcome of a conflictThis episode lays the foundation for healthier communication—not perfection. If you’ve ever thought, “We keep having the same fight over and over,” this series is for you.Coming next:Part 2: Validation & Active Listening (the skills that change everything)Part 3: Triggers, Repair Attempts & Slowing ReactivityResources Mentioned:Order Relationship Renovation at Home Manual from AmazonRelationship Renovation at Home Podcast Community & MembershipMonthly live Q&A with Tarah & EJDeeper video lessonsDaily relationship tipsNow only $25/month👉 Join Our Patreon CommunitySubscribe & Stay ConnectedIf this episode resonates with you, be sure to subscribe, leave a review, and share with someone who might need it. Small shifts in communication can lead to profound changes in your relationship.Take care of yourself. Take care of each other. 💛Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/he-said-she-said/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Why do so many couples feel stuck repeating the same painful patterns — even after therapy, books, and years of personal growth?Book a Discovery Call for Relationship Renovation CoachingIn this conversation with Thais Gibson, founder of the Personal Development School, EJ and Tarah explore why insight alone doesn’t lead to lasting change in relationships. If you’ve ever thought “I know better, so why do I keep reacting the same way?” this episode helps explain what’s really happening beneath the surface.Join Our Patreon CommunityTogether, they unpack how attachment patterns, nervous system responses, and emotional conditioning keep couples locked in familiar cycles of conflict, shutdown, or disconnection — and why trying harder, being more aware, or having good intentions often isn’t enough to break those patterns.Order Relationship Renovation at Home Manual from AmazonIn this episode, you’ll learn:Why understanding your patterns doesn’t automatically change themHow attachment wounds get activated in close relationshipsWhy shame and self-blame keep couples stuckWhat actually helps create lasting relational shiftsHow emotional safety supports real change over timeThis episode is especially helpful if you:Feel stuck in the same relationship dynamicsHave done personal growth work but still feel triggeredWonder why your relationship feels harder than it “should”Want a compassionate, practical understanding of attachment and changeThis is a grounding, validating conversation for couples who are tired of trying harder — and ready to understand what actually helps patterns soften and connection grow.🔗 Learn More About Thais GibsonPersonal Development School: https://www.personaldevelopmentschool.comYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchoolInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/thaisgibsonSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/he-said-she-said/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Book a Discovery Call for Relationship Renovation CoachingOrder Relationship Renovation at Home Manual from AmazonJoin Our Patreon CommunityTake the Emotional Safety Assessment QuizWhy do couples swear they’ll “do better next time” — and then fall into the exact same fights again?In this episode, we’re joined by Thais Gibson, leading attachment theory expert and founder of The Personal Development School, to unpack why relationship change often doesn’t stick — and what actually works at the subconscious and nervous system level.We talk about how attachment styles, core wounds, and nervous system responses quietly drive conflict, shutdown, and disconnection — even when both partners deeply care. Thais shares practical tools for rewiring attachment patterns so couples and individuals can move toward secure attachment, emotional safety, and real connection.If you’ve ever felt stuck, triggered, or discouraged because insight alone hasn’t changed your relationship, this conversation will give you hope and concrete next steps.In This Episode, We Cover:Why insight and “trying harder” don’t change relationship patternsHow attachment wounds form — and why they repeat in adult relationshipsThe difference between subconscious vs. unconscious patternsWhy couples fight about surface issues (like laundry or tone) when the real pain runs deeperHow anxious, avoidant, and fearful-avoidant attachment styles experience conflict differentlyThe role of the nervous system in emotional shutdown, defensiveness, and reactivityA step-by-step tool for rewiring core attachment wounds using memory, imagery, and emotionWhy affirmations often fail — and what works insteadHow partners unknowingly validate each other’s deepest fearsWhat secure attachment actually looks like in real relationships (not perfection)Key Takeaways:You’re not broken — your nervous system learned patterns to surviveMost relationship conflict is driven by subconscious meaning, not the present momentAttachment styles can be rewired, not just managedEmotional safety changes behavior faster than logicSecure attachment is a skill, not a personality traitAbout Our GuestThais Gibson is a globally recognized expert in attachment theory and the founder of The Personal Development School, where she has helped millions of people understand and rewire their relationship patterns. Her work integrates neuroscience, attachment theory, and practical tools for lasting emotional change.Resources Mentioned:Free Attachment Style Quiz: https://www.personaldevelopmentschool.comYouTube: Thais Gibson – Personal Development SchoolInstagram: @thepersonaldevelopmentschoolWho This Episode Is ForCouples who feel disconnected but still careIndividuals stuck in repeating relationship patternsAnyone curious about attachment theory beyond surface-level explanationsPartners who want real tools — not just insightSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/he-said-she-said/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Intentions WorksheetBook a Discovery Call for Relationship Renovation CoachingOrder Relationship Renovation at Home Manual from AmazonJoin Our Patreon CommunityTake the Emotional Safety Assessment QuizMost couples don’t fall apart overnight.They drift apart slowly—through busy schedules, unspoken patterns, and lack of intentional connection.In this episode of Relationship Renovation, licensed therapists EJ and Tarah Kerwin explain why couples drift apart and share a simple, practical framework that helps couples stay emotionally connected over time.Instead of focusing on fixing problems, this episode shows couples how to prevent disconnection by setting shared intentions, identifying repeating relationship patterns, and using daily, weekly, and monthly check-ins to stay aligned.This episode is especially helpful if you:Feel emotionally disconnected from your partnerKeep repeating the same relationship patternsWant better communication but don’t know where to startStart strong and lose momentum over timeIn This Episode, You’ll Learn:Why emotional disconnection happens gradually in long-term relationshipsHow couples unintentionally drift apart—even when love is presentA step-by-step framework to stay connected year-roundHow to set shared relationship intentions that actually stickWhy daily, weekly, and monthly check-ins prevent emotional distanceHow resets build trust and emotional safety over timeSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/he-said-she-said/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Book a Discovery Call for Relationship Renovation CoachingOrder Relationship Renovation at Home Manual from AmazonJoin Our Patreon CommunityTake the Emotional Safety Assessment QuizIn the final episode of our four-part Intimacy Gap series, we focus on how couples can move forward — not by “getting back” what they once had, but by intentionally creating a new intimacy story together.Many couples feel stuck when intimacy changes. Desire feels mismatched. Emotional connection fades. Sex becomes pressured or avoided. In this episode, we explore why intimacy isn’t something you find again — it’s something you build over time through emotional safety, curiosity, and shared experiences.We talk about how play and novelty reduce defensiveness, why new experiences create powerful bonding moments in the brain, and how small, realistic shifts (not grand gestures) can dramatically improve emotional, physical, and sexual connection. We also break down the different types of intimacy — emotional, physical, sexual, spiritual, and intellectual — and help couples clarify what they want their intimate relationship to feel like now.This episode offers a practical framework for:Letting go of old intimacy stories that no longer fitCreating a shared vision for connection that honors both partnersBuilding habits that foster desire without pressure or obligationAddressing real-life blocks like stress, parenting, mental health, and time constraintsShifting intimacy from a task into an experience of connection and pleasureWe also emphasize that intimacy is a living practice, not a one-time conversation. Couples who revisit these conversations regularly — with curiosity instead of defensiveness — build more secure, resilient relationships over time.In This Episode, We Cover:Why play and novelty are essential for long-term intimacyHow to create a new intimacy story instead of chasing the pastThe role of emotional safety in rebuilding desireHow stress, avoidance, and pressure quietly sabotage connectionPractical ways to bring intimacy into everyday life (not just the bedroom)A simple reflection exercise to identify how you feel desiredAction Step for ListenersTake a few minutes to reflect — alone or with your partner:How do I feel desired emotionally?How do I feel desired physically?How do I feel desired sexually?These answers can become the foundation of your new intimacy story.Want More Support?Our Relationship Renovation at Home Patreon includes a full, step-by-step intimacy series designed to help couples build emotional safety, repair communication, and create lasting connection at their own pace. If cost is a barrier, reach out — we want this work to be accessible.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/he-said-she-said/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Book a Discovery Call for Relationship Renovation CoachingOrder Relationship Renovation at Home Manual from AmazonJoin Our Patreon CommunityTake the Emotional Safety Assessment QuizIn Part 3 of our Intimacy Gap series, we explore two of the most powerful and most misunderstood ingredients of lasting intimacy: curiosity and emotional safety.So many couples get stuck in the same painful loop: mismatched desire, uncomfortable conversations, and the fear that they’ll never get back on the same page. But true intimacy doesn’t start with sex, it starts with the emotional safety to be vulnerable, honest, and seen.In this episode, we dive deep into how curiosity becomes a bridge across the intimacy gap… and how emotional safety transforms the hardest conversations into opportunities for closeness.In this episode, we cover:Why emotional safety is the #1 predictor of long-term relationship satisfactionHow curiosity helps couples reconnect when intimacy feels out of reachWhat it looks like to approach hard conversations with “soft eyes”How hormone changes, stress, and life transitions impact desire — and how to talk about itSelf-regulation vs. co-regulation: what each partner needs to bring into sensitive conversationsHow couples can avoid falling into repetitive patterns that shut down intimacyA real, personal story from EJ & Tarah about navigating desire discrepancies with vulnerabilityWhy repair matters more than getting it perfectPractical scripts for bringing up intimacy concerns without triggering defensivenessKey Takeaways:Curiosity is the antidote to fear. It keeps your heart open when patterns feel stuck.Emotional safety comes before desire. Without it, intimacy cannot thrive.Your partner is not the enemy. You’re two people navigating a shared emotional landscape.Soft eyes, gentle tone, and asking “Is now a good time?” can instantly shift a conversation.Self-regulation is essential. You can’t co-regulate as a couple if you’re dysregulated individually.Intimacy evolves. You’re not trying to get back to what it was — you’re building what’s next.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/he-said-she-said/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Book a Discovery Call for Relationship Renovation CoachingOrder Relationship Renovation at Home Manual from AmazonJoin Our Patreon CommunityTake the Emotional Safety Assessment QuizEver wondered why stress and shame seem to quietly erode intimacy in your relationship?Do you and your partner struggle to reconnect during overwhelming seasons—leaving both of you feeling misunderstood, rejected, or alone?Curious how to calm your nervous system and bridge the desire gap, even when it feels impossible?In this week’s episode of Relationship Renovation, EJ Kerwin and Tarah Kerwin dive into The Intimacy Gap (Part 2): The Silent Saboteurs — How Stress, Shame, and Mismatched Desire Sabotage Connection.Building on Part 1 of their four-part intimacy series, they unpack why intimacy doesn’t simply fade—it’s slowly chipped away by stress, shame, dysregulated nervous systems, and repeated miscommunication.Through honest, vulnerable stories about blending families, parenting challenges, and financial strain, EJ and Tarah reveal how nervous system overload is often misread as withdrawal or rejection. That misunderstanding fuels a painful cycle of blame, distance, and desire discrepancies that many couples mistake for incompatibility.In This Episode, You’ll Learn:How stress and shame shut down emotional and sexual desireWhy mismatched desire is normal—and what it actually meansHow nervous system dysregulation masquerades as disinterestTools to shift from reactivity to curiosityPractical steps to restore emotional safety and rebuild connectionWays to communicate vulnerably when intimacy feels out of syncWith research-supported insights and relatable real-life examples, EJ and Tarah show you how moving from “calm to connect” can help couples step out of shame, regulate together, and create a new intimacy story—one rooted in empathy, safety, and lasting closeness.If you’ve ever struggled with stress, shame, or desire differences in your relationship, this episode offers clarity, compassion, and real hope for rebuilding intimacy.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/he-said-she-said/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Book a Discovery Call for Relationship Renovation CoachingOrder Relationship Renovation at Home Manual from AmazonJoin Our Patreon CommunityTake the Emotional Safety Assessment QuizIn this first episode of our four-part series The Intimacy Gap, E.J. and Tarah Kerwin explore why most couples experience differences in emotional, physical, and sexual intimacy — and how these discrepancies can lead to frustration, disconnection, or misunderstanding.They share the real numbers (80% of couples face this issue), explain how attachment styles and nervous system regulation impact intimacy, and offer tools to start healing the distance.If you’ve ever felt like one partner wants more closeness than the other — emotionally or sexually — this episode will help you understand why and begin building empathy, safety, and lasting connection.Topics Covered:What the “intimacy gap” really meansEmotional vs. physical vs. sexual intimacy differencesHow upbringing and attachment shape desirePractical tools for curiosity instead of blameHow to start safe, non-defensive conversations about intimacyTimestamps00:00 – Introduction Welcome to The Intimacy Gap (Part 1) on the Relationship Renovation Podcast.01:35 – Why “The Intimacy Gap”? Why so many couples experience emotional, physical, and sexual disconnect.03:20 – Understanding Intimacy Discrepancies What it means when one partner wants more closeness or connection than the other.05:45 – The 80% Statistic Why 80% of couples face intimacy differences — and why it’s normal.07:50 – Beyond Sex: Emotional & Physical Intimacy How affection, vulnerability, and communication are part of intimacy.11:20 – How Intimacy Areas Interconnect How emotional, physical, and sexual connection overlap and affect each other.15:40 – Real-Life Example: Planning & Affection Tarah and E.J. share a story about differing needs for dates and affection.19:10 – Attachment Styles & Upbringing How childhood patterns and attachment shape intimacy as adults.23:15 – Nervous System Regulation & Shame Why stress and shame block connection — and how to rebuild safety.26:30 – From Blame to Curiosity Turning frustration into curiosity and self-reflection.30:00 – Tools for Talking About Intimacy Simple ways to have calm, open conversations about desire differences.33:15 – Final Reflections Encouragement for couples to keep growing through empathy and understanding.35:00 – Resources & What’s Next Info on Relationship Renovation at Home, Patreon community, and Part 2: The Silent Saboteurs.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/he-said-she-said/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Book a Discovery Call for Relationship Renovation CoachingOr email us directly at coaching@relationshiprenovation.com with the subject line “Couples Coaching Application.” Order Relationship Renovation at Home Manual from AmazonJoin Our Patreon CommunityTake the Emotional Safety Assessment QuizHosts EJ Kerwin and Tarah Kerwin sit down for one of their most raw and honest conversations yet. Facing a significant financial crisis, they pull back the curtain on the uncomfortable truths, emotional triggers, and deep lessons that emerged from their recent struggles. Listeners are invited to witness how avoidance and lack of transparency can spiral into conflict, resentment, and feelings of abandonment—but also how healing and growth become possible when partners take accountability and dare to face even the hardest truths together.Whether you’re navigating your own relationship challenges or simply craving an authentic look at how couples survive and thrive through tough times, this episode offers invaluable insights. EJ Kerwin and Tarah Kerwin share personal stories, model real-time communication with practical tools, and demonstrate that hope and connection can emerge from crisis. If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed, avoided a conversation, or worried if your partnership could withstand hardship—this episode will motivate you to lean in, dig deeper, and learn that the path to resilience is paved with courage and honesty. Listen now and renovate your relationship from the inside out!Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/he-said-she-said/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Book a Discovery Call for Relationship Renovation CoachingOr email us directly at coaching@relationshiprenovation.com with the subject line “Couples Coaching Application.” Order Relationship Renovation at Home Manual from AmazonJoin Our Patreon CommunityTake the Emotional Safety Assessment QuizIn this episode of the Relationship Renovation Podcast, hosts EJ and Tarah Kerwin sit down with renowned OB/GYN Dr. Maria Sophocles to unpack the truth about menopause, hormones, and how they shape sexual health, intimacy, and relationship wellness. With nearly three decades of experience and a global reputation for advancing women’s care, Dr. Sophocles sheds light on why so many women feel unseen and unsupported during perimenopause, low libido, and the “bedroom gap” that can grow between partners in midlife.The conversation blends science, empathy, and practical solutions—covering everything from hormone replacement therapy (HRT) and CO₂ laser treatments to the emotional impact of hormonal shifts and the cultural “pink tax” on women’s wellness.Whether you’re a woman navigating change, a partner trying to understand, or a couple feeling distant, this episode offers hope, clarity, and tools to rebuild connection, safety, and vibrant intimacy. Listen in and feel empowered to advocate for your body, your pleasure, and your relationship.Dr. Sophocles links below: https://mariasophoclesmd.com/TED Talk: https://www.ted.com/talks/maria_sophocles_what_happens_to_sex_in_midlife_a_look_at_the_bedroom_gap https://www.instagram.com/mariasophoclesmd/?hl=enhttps://www.linkedin.com/in/maria-sophocles-591a8b10Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/he-said-she-said/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Book a Discovery Call for Relationship Renovation CoachingOr email us directly at coaching@relationshiprenovation.com with the subject line “Couples Coaching Application.” Order Relationship Renovation at Home Manual from AmazonJoin Our Patreon CommunityTake the Emotional Safety Assessment QuizIn this deeply resonant episode of Relationship Renovation, hosts EJ Kerwin and Tarah Kerwin open up with raw honesty about the challenges and crises their relationship faced over the past year. Drawing on their own experiences—and the many couples they’ve supported—this conversation explores how practicing vulnerability, emotional safety, and practical decision-making skills can help couples withstand even the most severe financial and emotional stress. You'll discover how patterns from years past still shape present struggles, and gain insight into the power of creating new narratives together.Listen in for actionable strategies, real-life stories, and a heartfelt reminder: true connection isn’t about avoiding hardship, but learning how to support each other through it. If you’re seeking hope and practical guidance for your relationship, this episode offers powerful motivation to keep fighting for love, resilience, and the growth hiding beneath life’s toughest seasons. Plus, the hosts share resources like their Relationship Renovation at Home manual and community options to help you find the support you need, no matter what challenges you’re facing.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/he-said-she-said/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Book a Discovery Call for Relationship Renovation CoachingOr email us directly at coaching@relationshiprenovation.com with the subject line “Couples Coaching Application.” Order Relationship Renovation at Home Manual from AmazonJoin Our Patreon CommunityTake the Emotional Safety Assessment QuizHighlights from the EpisodeHow Sex Turns Transactional: Tarah shares a story from a recent couples session: “If you do this and you do it well, I’ll give you sex.” Sound familiar? Turns out, it’s more common than we think.Both Partners Are Responsible: EJ and Tarah reflect on their own patterns of expectation, let-down, and the rewards/punishments that silently build up over time.Unspoken Stories Drive Anxiety: Ever felt relief when your partner wasn’t expecting sex… or disappointment when connection didn’t lead there? You’re not alone. Opening up those stories, rather than burying them, is the first step to real change.Emotional Safety is Key: The hosts discuss how building a foundation of emotional safety—being able to share, be transparent, and give verbal appreciation—creates true desire and real intimacy.Actionable Tools: From ‘The Frisky Scale’ (yes, really!) to conversation starters on how you want to feel valued outside the bedroom, EJ and Tarah give you practical ways to break the transaction cycle.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/he-said-she-said/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

In this deeply personal episode, Tarah interviews EJ about his avoidant tendencies — why he used to shut down during conflict, how it affected their relationship, and what it took to start feeling safe enough to stay present when things got hard.Book a Discovery Call for Relationship Renovation CoachingOr email us directly at coaching@relationshiprenovation.com with the subject line “Couples Coaching Application.” Order Relationship Renovation at Home Manual from AmazonJoin Our Patreon CommunityTake the Emotional Safety Assessment QuizSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/he-said-she-said/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Book a Discovery Call for Relationship Renovation CoachingOr email us directly at coaching@relationshiprenovation.com with the subject line “Couples Coaching Application.” Order Relationship Renovation at Home Manual from AmazonJoin Our Patreon CommunityTake the Emotional Safety Assessment QuizIn this episode of the Relationship Renovation Podcast, licensed therapists and hosts EJ and Tarah Kerwin explore the delicate balance between being attuned to your partner and staying true to yourself. Drawing from their own relationship journey—as both a couple and co-therapists—they share real stories, practical tools, and insights that help couples move from reactivity to connection.You’ll learn how to:Communicate your needs without triggering defensivenessRecognize and respond to your partner’s emotional cuesUse timing and tone to create emotional safety during conflictPrevent resentment and strengthen trust through consistent repairIf you’ve ever wished you could communicate better during moments of stress, this episode will give you hope, clarity, and actionable skills to build a more emotionally safe and connected relationship.Join EJ and Tarah as they model vulnerability, share their own “fail moments,” and guide you toward becoming more connected, understanding, and confident in your communication—one intentional conversation at a time.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/he-said-she-said/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands